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We often have everything inside of us to heal, we just need the right tools and guide to discover it. At Milestones, our entire team works to empower our clients to own their healing while equipping them with the tools they need for sustained emotional and mental health.
Today, Christopher and Mickenzie are joined by Milestones Primary Therapist Mo Tedder to explore the final tenant of this series—Empowered Healing. Together, they discuss how our clinical team comes alongside guests to guide them in self-discovery and healing and empower them to regain a sense of agency in their journey.
Creators and Guests
Host
Christopher O'Reilly
Christopher O’Reilly, MA, LPC, serves as the Vice President of Clinical Services for Milestones. Christopher has an extensive career running residential and outpatient programs specializing in trauma, addiction treatment, and detox. Within a nearly 20-year career with Caron Treatment Centers, he honed his administrative and clinical skills, overseeing residential programs’ full range of operational and therapeutic functions. Christopher also served as an adjunct professor at West Chester University, teaching mind, body health.
Host
Mickenzie Vought
Editorial and Community Director at Onsite
What is Living Centered Podcast?
So many of us go through life feeling out of touch with ourselves, others, and the world around us. We feel disconnected, overwhelmed, distracted, and uncertain of how to find the clarity, purpose, and direction we so deeply, so authentically, desire. The Living Centered Podcast in an invitation to another way of living.
Every episode, we sit down with mental health experts, artists, and friends for a practical and honest conversation about how to pursue a more centered life—rediscovering, reclaiming, and rooting in who we truly are.
Welcome to the Treating Trauma Podcast. Join us for this limited series of conversations with our clinicians and alum. Together, we'll explore the pillars that support the Milestone's innovative recovery that works. These conversations are an inside look into the approach, expertise, healing, hospitality, and community that make up the Milestones experience. Let's jump in.
Speaker 1:Hey friends, welcome to another episode of the Treating Trauma Podcast. Today in this series where we have been talking all about the different tenants of the milestones experience, we got to sit down with milestones therapist, Mo, to learn a little bit more of what we call empowered healing, and how we come alongside our clients to really equip them to own their healing and be an active part of the process. And I was just so grateful to get to connect with Mo. She just represents the heart, I think, that come from our milestones clinicians. And she was so excited to get to share with us, and had such beautiful stories of the ways that we come alongside clients, and really meet them where they're at and create a customized experience for them.
Speaker 1:What do think about this one, Christopher?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this conversation was a lot of fun. I'm with you. I think Mo really embraces the culture at Milacones, and she understands the importance of empowered healing and really coming alongside of folks and helping them to own their recovery, which is so empowering.
Speaker 1:All right. We are excited. We've only got two more episodes in this series, so let's dive in today with Mo. Thank you for joining us, Moe. I'm really excited to have this conversation.
Speaker 1:Christopher, when we were thinking about who we wanted to talk specifically about this topic, he said, you know who would be great? What if we got Mo in here? So Mo, can you just start by introducing yourself and share what is your role at milestones?
Speaker 3:Of course, my name is Mo Tedder. I am a primary therapist down at milestones. That was not my first journey with On-site. Was actually, I guess going just about going on three years ago, I actually, interviewed for a position and they're like, hey, we don't think this is a right fit, but actually have you thought about doing this? And, that kind of kicked off my journey with on-site and with milestones.
Speaker 3:I served in a different position for about a year. And then in August I transitioned into a primary therapist role. It's, it's been a journey ever since. On-site has never surprised me in that way of, you know, just new opportunities. And it's been cool to not only grow as professional, but also to see the company grow and change in a beautiful way.
Speaker 3:So it's been a cool journey.
Speaker 1:I love that. So you are kind of on the workshop side, but also getting to be with the milestones clients as well. Is that right?
Speaker 2:Mo, I think you've been probably one of the smoothest and easiest transitions into the milestones team, just because you understand the culture and your clinical philosophy and the way that you do things is just such a good fit for us. So it's been a awesome thing for us.
Speaker 1:One of the questions that I've asked all of our clinicians is what has being a part of the milestones team taught you about yourself as a human and a clinician?
Speaker 3:Great question. I would say the power of being a human, honestly, whether I think, you know, going through school is to become a therapist. And even a lot of times in the work, we forget our humanity. And I think that's the most vital role, as clinicians and also is sitting with our clients that we have the opportunity to sit with is, you know, at the end of the day, we're both humans sitting in a room together and just, just holding space for that. And I think that's one of the most important lessons that I've learned and have to keep telling myself, you know, it's less.
Speaker 3:It's less about what modality we use and all of this. So it's like, in reality, we're just two humans walking through our lives together. And in this role, I just get to walk beside you and watch your wonderfulness bloom into, you know, what, what you desire and what your goals are. And it's a beautiful process to be a part of in this position. And then also getting to, receive that as a primary therapist and learning under Amanda and Christopher and the whole entire team.
Speaker 3:It's it's just been a beautiful journey of constantly evolving and growing into, you know, the better version of myself as a clinician is a human.
Speaker 1:I love that. And I think it speaks to something I love about milestones in general is that our therapists really are coming alongside our clients. And starting with what are your goals? How can we kind of come in and meet you where you are, and then come together to look at your unique situation and pay attention to your goals and where you want to go. And then we're going to create a customized plan specifically for you.
Speaker 1:And we often call that like empowered healing. But what has that been like to kind of come in and, and really dig in and empower your clients in a different way? What does that look like as a primary therapist? I loved how you touched a little bit on that of your role. It's like, I'm a human, I'm coming alongside you.
Speaker 3:I think that's, that's the beauty of milestones that I've gotten to witness. And then also working with different therapy treatment centers across the Nashville area, and even out of state is the uniqueness of milestones is that we are a team. So not only is our, our clients getting, you know, the primary therapist relationship and getting to experience what that primary therapist is bringing as a therapist, but also they're working with an adjunct who brings their own uniqueness. And then they're also doing adventure, they're doing equine, they're doing yoga, you know, it's just several opportunities for them to really sink into their healing journey, whatever that looks like for each person. And I think that a lot of those opportunities we don't see offered in other places, to the extent that we offer them here, and really encourage the clients, even if they don't feel like, you know, this is their thing.
Speaker 3:I've seen huge breakthroughs of like, wow, I didn't think Breathworks was going to be a thing for me. But you see this huge breakthrough, and, you know, awareness around something that they wouldn't have seen, you know, doing equine. So it's, it's the beauty of milestones. And really that flows through, you know, management of, they just really empower the people that they bring in, and see the treatment center as a whole, the whole person and, providing opportunities for people to step into that.
Speaker 2:I have a question for you and I have strong feelings about this myself, but, I don't know if we've ever talked about it, but how much do you think like clients have, like the answers to their own problems or the solution is within them? You know, for me, like that's like a question about like empowered healing. What is your philosophy on that?
Speaker 3:I think like, yes, I aligned with that philosophy. And if we were to say that to clients that walk straight in the door, we may get a interesting reaction, right? So in the process of what we do in experiential is, you know, we really get to guide them to see that themselves. We get to open the windows and be like, look, Hey, there's another path. You know, it's not just this closed room, you know, there is another path and we get to guide them to that realization.
Speaker 3:And sometimes they come to it on their own. And when they do, I'm like, yes. And so it's like one of those things of like, yes, I do believe that, you know, we all are experts on our own stories and what we need. And we get to sit in a unique position where we get to open some doors and some windows to let some drafts come in. Yeah, it's like there is other elements here that, you know, you may have not realized walking in.
Speaker 3:And I'm so excited to show you there's a window here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. Just the concept of guide, which I know we call our therapists on the workshop side guides. Maybe we should switch our name to guides because what you're describing, I think is so key because, I mean, when I think about the clinical team, they do open doors and windows and they show clients, you know, just kind of walk them through the healing process, but ultimately they're the ones that are doing their own healing.
Speaker 3:And what an empowering idea. Yeah. Like, no, it's like, you got this, you know, it's like therapy. Isn't designed to, you know, stay with them for forty years. Like if that's what they need.
Speaker 3:Great. But also it's like, we're here to like, really spread your wings, you know, go do life. This is the time where we get to work on the things that are holding you back for you to spread your wings. Like this isn't a forever solution. So it's like giving them, we call them tools, but giving them the opportunity to spread their wings in a safe setting, And more of a controlled setting is, is a cool aspect pool journey to be a witness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I think about this idea of empowered healing, I think about the analogy I have is parenting, right? Like as a parent, my job is to prepare you to be an adult. And your job as a primary therapist in a residential program is to prepare you to not be in a residential program. And so you're trying to like, work yourself out of a job, quote unquote, but how do you help clients see that long term focus, and start to even like you were saying, practice those tools while they're at milestones so that they can leave and do well.
Speaker 3:Immediately what comes to mind is not not everybody's ready to look at long term. Yeah. So we start right now in the present moment, you know, that that's what experiential is. Get, we get to take past moments. We get to take future moments and bring them into the room.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 3:So, and really build what it, what it looks like to navigate, you know, things in the past to repair ruptures, to read letters to somebody that's passed on and to prepare for the future of having hard conversations is we bring that all into the room. Like there's nothing off the table in the therapy room and the group room. So it's like, we really allow the opportunity for them to actually gain that confidence that they need to begin to set those long term goals or those long term conversations, the hard conversations.
Speaker 2:Mo, I totally agree with you. You know, from my perspective, which is maybe just a little bit of a broader perspective, but I think you touched on it, Mo, it's like a big part of what we do is really assess the entire situation. We have to make some decisions. You know, if there's like five or six major issues, like what are we gonna tackle first? Where are we gonna spend the time doing the work?
Speaker 2:I often have family members ask me like, how much family work's gonna happen? And my response is always, well, it depends because if we're going to guide your loved one through doing, working through historical trauma that maybe happened when they were a child as a foundation for their life moving forward, we might not get into the marriage work much. But if this human can start to heal some historical trauma from childhood, that's going to give them a foundation in their life that they can in the next phase of their recovery, do work around the marriage, right? And what's great about that kind of prioritizing those things is that historical trauma work can really help the person maybe make some progress in marital work. So you kind of got to really assess the whole situation and really determine where to start.
Speaker 2:And I think Mo and the other primary therapists do a fantastic job of figuring that out.
Speaker 1:I think it's a partnering what I'm hearing you say, but like we're partnering with you to see where do you want to go? Where does it make sense to go? And how do we stay adaptable in where we're going? Right? Like, hey, we might go here from what I know.
Speaker 1:And what I've talked with alum, it's so often we go into an experiential moment or a therapeutic moment, and we're like, this is what I'm gonna work on. And then it's actually completely different. And so I think what I'm in awe of is the adaptability of our therapist to be like, okay, now we're going here. Now we're doing this. And how there is full circle moments, like you're saying, that bring it back to, oh, actually, this is attached to this and there's lines here.
Speaker 2:And Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I just am very in awe of how you can keep your mind in so many places at
Speaker 3:once. Totally.
Speaker 1:I also would like to come back to you're saying like, often when a client comes in, like, we can't think about ten years from now, what I know about trauma is like, hey, we actually are it's so big and in my face right now in this moment, I can't think beyond this moment. So what does that journey look like for clients when they first come in versus maybe a little bit more when they're into the work? Like, I wonder if you could speak to that of how you assess where someone is when they come in and how you approach it.
Speaker 3:I think that's, that's definitely a question that is hard to answer just based on because each client is so different in what they need. You know, if we come, if somebody comes in, a client comes in and they, you know, are super dysregulated and they're just like, they're, they're physically not ready to do the work that they need to do, then we're going to focus on getting them grounded into a point where we can actually do that work. Because the last thing that we want to do is push anyone so far out of their window of tolerance, that that's just doing more harm. And that's, that's not where we want to be at. I empower each of my clients to really, you know, speak of what's happening, you know, in their body.
Speaker 3:Like, are you overwhelmed? Like, let's talk about where you're at. And then we can work with that. Because even if you're dysregulated, hey, like, I'm really anxious right now. Like there's work with that.
Speaker 3:So I think there's this concept of like, oh, if like, I'm not ready to do this, then I'm not doing any work. And I was like, that's not the case really, because we can work with what's right in front of us. A lot of times we come in with a blueprint on how we used to deal with things. And that blueprint is what we have to work with first. If you know, you were taught that it wasn't safe to show emotions, then I'm not going to expect you to come in and just lay it all out, You know, so we really sit with that.
Speaker 3:And we start working with that blueprint of like, let's become aware of what this looks like, what this looks like in your past. And how can we work on rebuilding a blueprint?
Speaker 1:That's so graceful. Because I would imagine someone would come in and be like, well, I'm failing at therapy. Like, I can't do this or even like the comparison of someone next to them and what they're doing. Do you see that within the community because everyone's experience is so customized? But there are rhythms.
Speaker 1:I wonder if that comes up in the in the community at all.
Speaker 3:I would say there's times where where somebody is like, man, I'm not I'm not doing that,
Speaker 1:that level of work yet.
Speaker 3:And, you know, it's one of those like normalizing of like, I completely understand that this is the work that you're wanting to do. And this is where you want to go with your work to really, you know, free yourself and work through that. And we aren't doing you justice, or we aren't healing that if we're doing it outside of our window of tolerance, which is like, you don't have any capacity to really create meaning around what's happening, what's happened, or what's going to happen. So when we're in a state of dysregulation, there's really not much that we can do outside of our window and creating meaning around what's happened in the past.
Speaker 1:We have a couple of episodes where we kind of talk about like a day in the life and kind of look at the rhythms. We brought Crystal in and talked to some of our CAs in the last season to really look at like, let's get to the brass tacks of what does it look like to be a Milestones client. But in the context of this conversation, I'm interested to hear like, what is the balance between we have rhythms, we have structure, we have kind of a cadence of what our week looks like. And also we're creating a customized, innovative care plan for each client. So what does that balance look like?
Speaker 1:And I would love for both of you to kind of speak to that.
Speaker 2:I mean, I can speak to it on a larger scale, and then Mo can kind of get into the clinical aspects of that. But, you know, the first couple of days of milestones, there's several evaluations that take place from our medical director, who's a psychiatrist and trauma expert, and from our nursing team and from our clinical team. And I think from those assessments, which also include information we've collected upon admission or pre admission even, but from there, we kind of look at some of the bigger pieces, like some of our clients need medical care, Some of our clients need to work with our functional medicine doc who can look at things more physical, whether it's digestive issues or thyroid issues or autoimmune issues because trauma has a massive impact on the physical health of people. So we like to look at those. In those initial assessments, we can also assess if someone would make sense to work with a nutritionist or a chiropractor or see a massage therapist.
Speaker 2:And so in those ways, we try and get creative and customize the experience. And then I think, and Mo can speak into this, what we do with our individual work and even some of the core group work is very individualized as well.
Speaker 3:So I would say on an individual level, really kind of drew me to milestones and so excited about the opportunity to work here is the space that we're
Speaker 1:in.
Speaker 3:So we have structure, right? We have schedule of like, this is your individual time, and this is group time, this is adventure time. But within that, there's so much freedom to really customize what we do with each client. And it's like sometimes I have people come in and let's say they're outside of their window, they're dysregulated, but they're really drawn to animals. We can just take a walk up the hill and get them grounded and get them in something that really brings them back to who they are, and then walking back and get into the work, or even do work out by the goats, or the pigs or the horses.
Speaker 3:So it's one of those things that there's so much freedom. And this goes to kudos to our, you know, the upper level where they really empower us to take care of our clients and meet their needs and wherever they're at. And, you know, with the group, each person that comes into our group and sits in our group room, they really do. We follow them. So it's like whatever they bring in, we can work with whatever that looks like psychodrama or experiential work, or we can get creative with it of whatever that looks like for them or whatever they're drawn to, or what we've seen them like really drop in, and they really interact with this modality or anything like that, we're able to do that in a group level and an individual level, and then even a community level.
Speaker 1:I love that you kinda touched on a couple of the different, like, formats and spaces and then modalities that we do. If people have questions about all these different modalities, we like, in the first season, we did so many things talking about all the different modalities, but I was thinking specifically about the group experience and you saying, like, whatever we come in with, that's what it looks like, and that's where we can go with you. I remember the episode that we did around the group experience, and we kind of just, like, broke down the intimidation factor around that and how there's so much beauty in group work. And you can say it and say it and say it. And until you actually experience it, I think you don't fully get it.
Speaker 1:But we should all try. Can you speak to the community element that kinda comes into this as well of it's a customized innovative experience for this person, but then also this person has their plan. And somehow there are pieces of what you're working on that's bringing up things for me and bringing me healing. And I just would love to hear your take on community and the role that that plays in this as well.
Speaker 3:I think I have a lot of answers for this.
Speaker 1:We're so excited. Look at our guys. They're like, oh, Stan's just changed.
Speaker 3:I am, very passionate about group work because I've seen the power, personally in my own work. And then also getting to lead it. I think community, we say, you know, talk about on-site magic or the magic of milestones and all of this. And I think community is the foundation of all of that. It was like, yes, we can, we can create environments that encourage that, but that's really our clients.
Speaker 3:They really rally around each other. You know, they're there to talk after session because the work that we do is, is not easy. Right. So that their community really rallies around them. And, you know, they are encouraged to spend time at lunch and dinner and in the great room, like playing games and all of that.
Speaker 3:And it's cool to see how much healing actually happens outside of group work and outside of, you know, the equine ventures and all of this, but also like in the groups, you know, two people might have two separate stories and they might be working on something completely different. But I think what is common with all of humans is the emotions that come from wounding come from healing is that's what we truly connect on. So even if I'm working on a piece of work with somebody and we're enrolling people in psychodrama, right? There's people in different roles, or even if they're just watching and holding space for it, that are connecting with that situation in their own unique way. And that is the beauty of group work is the commonality that we are humans and we experience life and emotions.
Speaker 3:And that is the bonding factors. We actually get to talk about that in group, you know, whether somebody's enrolled as a mom and they see it in a different way, they experience it in a different way. They're like, wow, I've never seen that from a different point of view. So it's the beauty of, you know, experiential of psychodrama that like people get to experience other people's healing while also doing their own in different positions.
Speaker 1:My experience is that when I got just as much healing or a different like level of healing, watching someone do their psychodrama about something that was in my story. But because the spotlight quote unquote wasn't on me, my nervous system was not as activated and I could process it in a different way. Is there like science behind that? I don't know what's happening within ourselves and our central nervous system. I'm just fascinated.
Speaker 3:I think it comes down to, I mean, what you said, the spotlight in your nervous system, right? You are within your window of tolerance. So you're able to create meaning around something that you experienced in a different way than if you were in the spotlight And they both have their benefits. But within like your own nervous system, you're able to actually, you know, create those dots, connect those thoughts within your own story that you might not have done in an actual psychodrama of your own. And that is the beauty of the work that we get to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't have any more to add in regards to the science, so to speak, but there definitely is something to what you're saying, Mackenzie. People are feeling less vulnerable when someone else is in the middle of the work.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The fences are down, they can kind of relax, their breathing is more, you know, centered and I think they can connect in ways that they can't when they're kind of center stage.
Speaker 3:And also I think like On-site has a bunch of like terms as well. Like they said, eighty five percent of healing happens outside of group. I'm not sure if that's the exact number, but it is it says they have a bunch of slogans that I hear up at the lectures.
Speaker 1:So lectures? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We don't know if they're just anecdotal or true or not, but, I think that's probably true. They sound good. Yeah. I think the so much of
Speaker 3:the healing
Speaker 1:happens outside of it. Trust the process. Totally. So someone's listening today thinking about, like, okay, maybe this is the right move for me. I'm not really sure.
Speaker 1:You have touched on a few things, but what are the tools that you're helping people develop while they're coming in to milestones? And what would be your hope that they would walk out with?
Speaker 3:The number one thing that I want to empower all of my clients in is, you know, the discovering of who they are. I think so many, so much of our time is built, spent looking hours. Like, oh, well, you know, I'm not them. I don't have that job. Well, I don't like, look like that and all this.
Speaker 3:And it's this beautiful journey of coming back home to you and understanding the needs that you have and the needs that maybe weren't met at a young age and how that translates. And, you know, I think that's my primary thing that I hope that all of my clients, you know, walk out is a better understanding of who they are and the magic that each person holds. Being able to share that in community and, you know, really sending them off in a space where they, they're more sure and confident about who they are, what they need, how they can go about asking for that, how they can go about setting boundaries, how they can go about really noticing when things are coming up for them and emotions, when they're becoming dysregulated, how can we get back to who we are? What can we remind ourselves?
Speaker 2:I love that. I appreciate what you're saying, Mo. Just really trying to get people centered again and maybe feel more hopeful than they felt and feel more confident that change is possible and a different experience from what they're feeling in their bodies is possible. A lot of people come in with a lot of, not just like they're feeling depressed or things like that, I think a lot of it's somatic too. Like they're not just, when you ask people about their anxiety, I mean, they'll talk about what's going on in their bodies and if we can kind of help to stabilize that and they can feel confident that something else is possible because they experienced it at milestones.
Speaker 2:I think in the busyness of people's lives and all the different roles that they play, sometimes it's hard to carve out, if not impossible to carve out, enough time to do what is necessary to stabilize and to start to make progress forward. You know, I was just thinking something, you know, in regards to empowered healing and I'd love to know if either of you have any questions or thoughts about this, but you know, one of the things that we've baked into the culture of milestones is that we have this kind of idea that like everything is by invitation. So this concept of everything is by invitation basically means like, when it's time to do group work, for example, we invite people to notice if now is a good time and like, what do they need in that moment? And I think everything is by invitation. We meet people where they're at and kind of honor that space and invite them to take the steps necessary.
Speaker 2:That's another aspect I think about individualized treatment. We don't just jump to the conclusion that everyone's at the same space at the same time and is ready to jump in the same time. So we really encourage people to pay attention to what their body is telling them in regards to like, am I feeling safe? Is now the time to talk about this? Is now the time to do this work?
Speaker 2:And everything is by invitation feels very empowering to me and I think a lot of people that have experienced trauma, there was a loss of control and power, so agency, so yeah, so giving people or teaching people to kind of honor themselves and, you know, we obviously try and create a safe environment so people feel safe stepping into the work. But this concept of everything is by invitation, think is key to our culture and also to the concept of empowered healing.
Speaker 1:That's really good. I think about what I know of the culture and what I know of you guys, you really do like, you mean it too. Like, we're inviting you into this. And if you wanna participate, like, here's the way to do that. And then you're really honoring when someone says like, this isn't this isn't working.
Speaker 1:You come alongside them and you meet them in that and say, okay, how do we change? Or how do we still help you take a small step towards that and push into your comfort zone? Because so much of what you ask people to do at milestones is outside of their comfort zone. And I've just watched you very gently in the stories that we've heard in this series. People are just like, yes, I never would have thought this would happen, but I just had someone coming alongside me, not pulling me, but that guiding, sitting right next to me and telling me.
Speaker 1:And you also, I think the community plays a huge role in that because you, a group room, have people, some people who have been there for forty five days and someone who just showed up yesterday. And they can say, oh, I I was there. I remember being really scared to lean into this. It's okay. Don't.
Speaker 1:Or here's how it helped for me. Or you can see that I'm now able to do that. And as an example, and I can lean into that. So I love that idea of giving people back the agency and teaching them to know themselves to honor themselves when they've forgotten how to do that. Like, I think that's in the work itself.
Speaker 1:Right? I just like nothing's wasted. I think when you say everything's an invitation, like nothing's wasted in that. The same way you said at the beginning, like, oh, I'm not at this point of my level. Like, yeah, but this is what's showing up and they're still work in this moment right here.
Speaker 2:And I think a lot of times when people in survival mode for a number of different reasons, they lose a sense of intuition and like Mhmm. Am I no. It's like some people no one's asked me where I'm at and if I'm ready to do work, like, they have to get to learn what that even means for them again.
Speaker 3:Mm-mm.
Speaker 2:You know? Yeah. A lot of people that come to milestones, they're actually more focused on others and, is this safe? I'm trying to be who they want me to be. I'm comfortable.
Speaker 2:It doesn't feel safe to be myself. So the inviting them into the work and inviting them to pay attention to what they need and what their body's telling them, that's like a retraining in some sense. And I'm sure Mo agrees, but some people never develop that skill.
Speaker 3:I say that a lot in group. Like nobody teaches a class on this. That's right. Usually our parents are not the best teachers. And that's not shaming the parents at all.
Speaker 3:It's just like, we don't know what we don't know. And that's okay. And it's like, once the invite, the invite there is there to like, hey, you know, this is an opportunity to do something different.
Speaker 1:And I would make up that if I've been in an environment where I had to perform for my very survival, which a lot of our clients have like survival, psychologically, mentally, physically, is required on keeping someone else happy. When we say to them, Hey, this is an invitation and you can choose to say no. And they say no. And we honor that. And we keep showing up and we keep showing them unconditional love, which is what I hear again and again and again from our, our alum is that I was loved, like, so I just imagine that that also goes so far and rewiring the parts of us that feel like we have to perform to have love.
Speaker 1:Like, oh, no, I can say no, I can show up as my whole self. And you're gonna love me not in spite of this, but because I'm willing to lean into this vulnerability. Mhmm. I just I I imagine and make up, like, the people that do that for me in my life is beautiful. And so I can't imagine an entire community doing that for
Speaker 3:you. Totally.
Speaker 1:As we kinda round out this conversation, I think there's a question that I have been trying to figure out how to put it into words, but I'm assuming that there it's a question that you guys get. When do I know if I'm ready to be done at milestones? I think we are we say thirty, sixty, ninety days. We're a thirty to ninety day residential program. But there are obviously people that are outside of that range, and there are people that are within that range.
Speaker 1:Like, how do you prepare someone to say, okay, now it's time to take the next step in my journey outside of the safety and the confines of milestones and feel empowered to do that? Because I would would make up no one ever feels, like, ready.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think there's clinical factors, Mackenzie, and then there's practical factors too. Yeah. And, you know, the good news is milestones is not like the end all be all because I would say that, you know, it is a part of the healing journey. A lot of people, not all, but a lot of people who come to Milestones have had therapy before, they come to Milestones and they'll do therapy once they leave. But you know, it's very much a team approach.
Speaker 2:So there's specific times within the treatment process that we'll pause and just kind of say like, where are we at with your goals and the things that you're working on? And when we get middle to closer to the end of treatment, we will start to have conversations about recommendations and it's a very collaborative thing. Even if the treatment team thinks they could benefit from an additional stay at milestones longer time and they have reasons they need to leave. Again, everything's by invitation. There's no hard push to keep people longer than they can or want to, but I would say more than anything, and I'm sure Mo agrees, when we get closer to the middle or end of the initial thirty days, people are already kind of deciding for themselves.
Speaker 2:They're starting to see progress, they're feeling better, they're feeling more stable and they tend to, you know, we might make recommendations, they're like, Hey, I'd really like to stay longer and here are the things I want to work on. So it's a very collaborative process and we obviously involve family and referrals in that, but yeah, it's interesting because there's so many variables involved and we just put our heads together and try and make the best decisions and some people have the time to stay longer and do more work and that's great, others can't and those that can't, we will help them develop a plan for next steps when they leave, which, you know, a plan for when they go home. I'd say a lot of clients though, they're just like, they're really feeling better and they want to do more work. That's typically the reason people stay past thirty days.
Speaker 1:That's helpful.
Speaker 3:Echoing what Christopher said, it's a collaborative process. It's not like, okay, thirty you're out or like, you know, you got to stay two more weeks to do this work. And I think that that is the journey of this work is that the reality of coming to treatment is that this is continued work to be done. You know, you've had twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy years that you've been doing and operating out of this old blueprint. And you're starting to design another one for yourself in that process is like you need support and all that.
Speaker 3:So whenever we say collaborative processes, we're talking about this with our clients, as we're approaching this. And, you know, we really, we hear what they say, the reality of some people situation is, you know, it's 30 and I have to leave. And it's like, okay, how can we set you up to be best supported and moving forward, continuing this work? You know, there's, there's always more work to be done. There's always healing to be had.
Speaker 3:And if it's not past, it will probably come up in present because, know, life is life and, you know, we're, we're going to meet the natural, things that come up in life, whether it's losing somebody, whether it's situations with work, you know, these are all natural things in life. And how can we support you to hold that better? And, you know, a lot of times we hear clients come in and be like, man, this is the first, first place where I feel like I've really been able to be myself. And it feels like I'm home. I validate that.
Speaker 3:And I'm like, yes. And now you get to create that moving forward. You get to create that for yourself. And it's not going to be easy. And know what it feels like to continue to set those things up for yourself in life and whatever milestones can do in helping you do that, then our team is great And they're more than willing to, you know, be there and continue to support.
Speaker 1:I love the continuation of it. I'm always telling our alum on the workshop side that this is a lifelong journey. It's not a one and done like you came, and we intersected with you at some point in a very long emotional wellness journey. And whether it's at the beginning, and you're just tipping your toes in, or you've been at it a long time, we got to intersect with you in this really precious moment. But also you are getting tools to continue it because you mental health is not like everything's going to be great forever.
Speaker 1:It's I have the tools to handle it when it's not great. When it's good when it's great. And I just love that sentiment. So thank you both for sharing that. And I just am so grateful for your hearts for our clients.
Speaker 1:I just hear it coming through. As we round out a question that I often ask is what is an encouragement you would have for someone considering coming to milestones?
Speaker 3:I would say if you're waiting for the right time, or you're waiting to, you know, figure stuff out with work, with life, with kids and all of this, it's like, I don't think there will ever be a right time. And I've, I've never met anybody that's truly invested in their healing journey, whether it be for thirty, ninety, you know, 01/2020, whatever that number be them say, oh, I wish I didn't do that. So it's like, there may never be a right time. But what I know is that the benefits that you receive as a human and being able to like live life fully and experience the beauty of life and not only the pain, there's no cost you can put on that. And the time and just take the time and do the work.
Speaker 3:And it's, I can almost guarantee you that you're going to see the benefits on the other side.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. This was so lovely to get to chat with you.