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With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.
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10 years.
Man 10.
10 years.
10 years. Man 10
years. 10 years.
10. 10 years.
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What is the most likely way humanity. Will be wiped out? Maybe it's something from
or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of
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Our planet is trying to tell us something, but we don't seem to be
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Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and
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Whether it's a dream or some advanced computer game you are playing
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Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema Silence.
Ten years. Ten years.
Oh, and welcome to the 481st consecutive
week of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Cort, the guy that's going to
feel really uncomfortable for the entire episode because of the choice of my co host,
Matt. Yeah, listen, the memory didn't really work on this one as I thought it
was. And I know the whole thing about it
is to, I don't know, lampoon that kind of stuff, but yikes.
The people who say the bigoted, hateful and racist stuff
in this are, yes, they're. They're supposed to. It's supposed to be.
They're all dumb and stupid and that's supposed to be the point. Yeah. It is
probably a hard watch for a lot of our listeners.
Right. It's a problematic film in that this is a bigoted film,
but it is showing bigots what they actually look like to the rest of the
world, who is not bigoted. That's where the comedy is supposed to come from.
Because you are on the side of Cleavon Little. You are on the
side of Gene Wilder's character. And then when he crosses over,
you're on Mongo's side again too, because you know he's also downtrodden
and abused. Yeah, you're on the side of the good guys,
you know, the non racist. But like even the talent
he's protected while they love him are racist.
Exactly. Yeah. It's like nobody's good except
for the sheriff, Gene Wilder, and then Mungo when he turns.
And those are the only three who are good guys. Eventually there is a face
turn in the town. We will get to that as well. But yes,
the plain fact of the matter is if you're laughing at the jokes because
you think that the racism part of it is what is actually funny, you are
the butt of the fucking joke and you never got it. That's the point.
You're the joke. Yeah, you're. You're. The joke's on you, right? If you're laughing
at it because it's the awkward, uncomfortable thing of knowing that Cleavon
Little is just within seconds of turning on all
of these people he's supposed to protect because of their unbelievable bigotry
and hatred, then, yeah, that's where you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be laughing
at how awkward this is that he is being so polite when they're so cruel.
You should not feel comfortable watching this. No,
no. And the laughter should be very uncomfortable.
Like, oh God, I can't believe they're saying these words. Holy shit,
these people are fucking terrible. That's. That's how you're supposed to
be laughing, which is how I laughed. But it still
seems. Woo. You know, Yikes.
It's amplified to the point of where it becomes like full blown
irony. That's where Mel Brooks lives. Yeah. This is by far
the most egregious and the ballsiest I think he ever
got with any of his stuff. Because after this he's like, well, I'm not going
to appeal to too many people with this kind of wacky shit in our ratings,
so I need to tone it down and get it to be PG, PG 13
max, so that I can hook them while they're young. Yeah,
exactly. And that's what he ends up doing with like Spaceballs and everything
after. Yeah, everything gets.
Everything really eases up after this. Right? And even young Frankenstein
eased up considerably. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Everything after this is like, okay,
I really would balls to the wall on one film. Now it's time to go
and just ease it up. Slapstick humor after this.
Now, I am going to do my best. For all of the
most egregious and most hate filled speech in these clips,
I'm going to try and get rid of as much as I possibly can.
But. But I am sure that something will disappear on me and I will just
not notice it and it'll get through, as it always says, because it's like every
other goddamn word in these clips. And I'm gonna try
my best, but I'm gonna apologize in advance because you will probably hear a hate
felt slur on this show. And I'm trying my best to get rid of as
many of them, if not all of them, if I can. How it is.
All right. I think we've done enough to be able to sort of COVID
our asses. Yeah. Have we covered our asses here? Yeah,
maybe. I'm gonna do my best to get rid of all of the bigoted hate
speech as much as I can, but Jesus Christ,
just no way I'm going to catch it all. I just don't think that's possible.
And if I do, everybody give me a pat on the back.
Let's take the break here. We'll play the Legion Patreon ad and immediately following that
on the pirate radio edit for this show, we're going to
have songs featured right in the film of Blazing Saddles. As best
I could, I found stuff that's on the soundtrack. Some of it's shorter
than others, so for about 34 seconds or so after this,
you get to hear Cleavon Little singing I Get a Kick out of youf on
the Bat radio edit. This will keep it. Anyway, Millicent broke in Here
with hallucinogens, you know, teeming through her body and also being
left unsatisfied because, well, we can say it. Dan came out of the
closet. Yeah. Dan's gay. Yeah. And nothing wrong with that. No. The problem was
I was proud of him. Yeah. It took him a while to admit what his
problem was, that he was married and he was trapped in a loveless marriage
because he's not attracted to Millicent. But here's the problem. He still loves Millisen.
Yeah. He's still jealous over her. I know it's. It's weird.
Maybe. It's probably stages of just coming out and dealing with it
being who you are. I'm sure that's like he loves her as person,
but physically he wasn't attracted to her. So, you know, I don't
really want to get into that. Oh, no. He's definitely distraught
over everything that's happened. So we're just going to leave him alone about this for
a while and just let him be. Do we have to? Yes. So I should
stop leaving him voicemails is what you're saying? Yes. And also, it was
extremely, extremely cruel of you to send footage of her in the lab with the
robots. Oh, because in case you guys haven't figured it out,
yes, she taught robot Matt the physical art of love. And with that,
robot Matt then, in turn, created all of the sex bots.
A hot mess. But on the upside, after we got them all
cleaned up and hosed down and sterilized again, we are now
able to sell them to a certain market.
A certain dark underbelly type market.
Yes. At quite, and I am going to emphasize this,
quite a larger markup than they would have ever been as war bots.
Hey, man, it's either war, sex, and violence. That's what sells.
Well, the interesting thing is they're actually capable of both. Yeah.
So you gotta be careful out there when you're fucking with our bots, because it
could be Westworld scenario up in you. Listen,
I'm just saying, do not say the word bananas, because it
will go from a good time to a bad time. No, I reprogrammed that.
That's now their safe word. Everything's cool. Oh, everything's cool with that banana.
All right. By the way, how'd you find out about me
sending the videos to Dan? Oh, I got a call. Oh, I'll play it on
the next episode. He's not happy with you. You may have to bunker it up
again. I may have to go back into the bunker this time. Around. I think
you went a little too far. Yeah, you know I didn't cuz him.
Shamir's trying to smooth some stuff out. But you know what? Nobody any of this.
He caused a lot of personal problems in my own life.
I know that was super short, but I couldn't not include it just because
he sings it so well. I had to put that in there. Yeah, I mean
we're gonna hear it again, but maybe.
All right. Blazing Saddles. I split up 30 minute intervals.
So the first 30, we come upon a men building the railroad out
west. Of course, that's the. That's the. The big movement. Now, you know,
it's. Everyone's going out west. The Civil War,
so. And I do apologize,
but this leads to our first clip. Jesus Christ. Come on,
boys. The way you lollygagging around here with
them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was 120 degrees.
Can't be more than 114,
Doc. That a day's pay for napping on the job?
Yes, sir. Now, come on, boys. Where's your spirit?
I don't hear no singing. Singing? When you were slaves,
you sang like birds. Come on, how about a good
old work song?
I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn't
thrill me at all so tell me
why should it be true that
I get a belt out of you?
Some get a kick from cocaine.
Hold it, hold it. What the hell is that? Shit.
I'm in a song. A real song.
Something like Swing Low,
Sweet Chariot.
Swing low, Chariot. Don't know that one, huh?
Well, how about the Camp Town Ladies?
Decamp Town Ladies. Did you.
Oh, you know the Camp Town lady
sing this song Doo da doo dah the camp
town racetrack five. Miles long all the dude all day.
35 money on the barbell day.
One. Run all night one run all
day.
What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on
here? I hired you people to try to get a little track lead,
not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City.
Sorry, Mr. Taylor. I guess we kind of got caught up. Listen,
dummy, the surveyors say they may have run into some quicksand up
ahead. Better check it out. Okay, I'll send down a team of horses
to check out the ground. Horses?
Why, we can't afford to lose no horses, you dummy.
Send over a couple. Okay, Mr. Tiger,
you and you. Sir.
Sir, he specifically requested two.
Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
Get on that hand car and take it down at the end of that line.
Just trying to help you Out. Get.
I knew your grandma was just.
Oh, the Camptown lady sing this
song do dah doo dah Camptown Racetrack
5 miles long road to do dar day. Going to
run all night Going to run all day. I wasted
my money on the bar tail neck Somebody bet on the bay.
But what am I wrong or is the world
rising? I don't know, but whatever it is,
I hate it. Hey, Charlie, let me ask you something.
What is it that's not exactly water and it ain't
exactly earth? Quake.
Oh, shit. Quake. Sand.
Dang. Now we are in trouble. They in trouble.
Wow. Hit your rope. Get over there quick.
Right, Mr. Tag.
That's it. It's coming.
Dang, that was lucky Dog gone near lost a
$400 hand car. Yeah, we. We can take
it right off to the. Just a little bit to the left of that hill
over yonder. Well, we're gonna die, father. They gonna leave us here to die.
Take it easy, Charlie. My foot's on the
rail. Oh, then maybe
down that canyon. I think it's pretty level off there. We can't swing back
to the right because of that hill there. That looks like the way we'll have
to go. Yeah, we'll put her right
down through over that ridge.
Come on.
Well, boys, the break's over. Don't just lay there,
get the suntan. Ain't going to do you no good. Know how There.
Take that shovel and punter to some good use. Come on.
Get on, boy.
Come. What? Don't. Don't do that, man.
Uhuh. Baby. Bo, don't do that. Yeah, I have to send the wire
to the main office and tell him that I said ow.
Main office. Tell them I said ow.
Got you. It is really satisfying to see Cleavon Little smack
the out of Slim Pickens with that shovel though. I was going
to say, at least you get a little bit of the comeuppance where he smacks
with the shovel and then the funny kind of tell him he said ow.
Highlighted that all the racists are all fucking stupid. Yeah. And that's why
they're racist. Bigots are stupid. That's why they're bigots. Yeah. Yeah.
And in fact they even use the music later, but very much
Sheriff Bart, who's. Or he's not sheriff yet, but Bart Cleavon
Little is very much like Bugs Bunny in this. In this
role. Yeah. Yeah. This is very Looney Tunes. You are absolutely correct.
And they even use the music, you Looney Tunes later from looting
Tunes. But this is very. He very much Yo. He always.
He talks to. He breaks the fourth wall. Talks to the camera.
He very. You know, he outsmarts everyone constantly, all the time.
So he's very much the Bugs Bun. Yeah,
the audience is his aside guy, where he will go and say
something and it's literally him commenting on. Can you believe
this bigot? And then he goes and shows this bigot something. You know,
it's. Yeah, yeah. That's basically the pattern that we get with him. You're right.
He's absolutely 100% a Mel Brooks done
up like a WB cartoon character. Like Looney Tunes
style. Exactly. Well, we cut to the
offices of Headley Lamar, Attorney General, Assistant to
the governor and state producer and I am sorry,
that's our next clip. Jesus Christ. Mr. Lamar is where we run into the quicksand.
Quicksand. Quicksand. Splendid. And so
the railroad has gotta go through Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge.
Rock Ridge. Splendid. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge.
Be still, Taggart. Be still. Yes, sir. My mind is aglow
with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening
through a cosmic vapor of invention. Ditto.
Ditto. Ditto, you provincial pats.
I'm sorry, sir. Plan. Plan.
Need a plan. What in the hell was that?
Boris, we can't hear ourselves think. How.
How, your worship, but I've got two men
at home sick with the flu, and it's. It's utter chaos down
here. I'll try to keep it quiet as possible,
but as you can see, this one is a Toothy.
Yes, the Dr. Gillespie killings. Well, do your best.
Now, let's see. Where were we? Oh, Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge?
Yes. When that railroad goes through Rock Ridge,
that land will be worth millions. And I want it.
I want that land so badly, I can taste
it. There must
be a way.
Clumsy fool. I'm sorry. Wait a minute.
There might be legal precedent. Of course.
Land snatching. Sea.
Land. Sea snatch.
Snatch. Ah. Haley versus United
States. Haley, seven. United States. Nothing. You see, it can
be done. Can be done. Unfortunately,
there is one thing that stands between me and that property.
The rightful owners. There must be some way of scaring them off,
driving them out of getting rid of every human being alive.
Oh, it's down the hall and to the left. No, sir. What?
I got it. You do? What? What? What? I know how we can run
everybody out of Rockridge. How? We'll kill the first born
male child in every household. Too Jewish.
Let's see. I got it. I got it. So we'll
work up a number six on him. Number six? I'M afraid I'm not familiar with
that one. Well, that's where we go. A riding in the town, a whopping
and a whole. Every living thing that moves within an inch
of its life. Except the women folks, of course. You spare the women?
No, we raped the out of them at the Number Six
dance later on. Marvelous. That's so creative,
too. What tag got. You been hurt?
Oh, that went and hit me on the head with a shovel.
I'd sure appreciate it, sir, if you could find it in your heart
to hang him up by his neck until he was dead.
Got him locked up downstairs. Consider it done, stout fellow.
Boris,
I've got a special. When can you work him in? I couldn't possibly sneak
him in until Monday, sir. I'm booked solid. Monday.
Splendid.
Ta da. Oh, thank you, sir. And don't
you worry. Why, we'll make Rock Ridge think
it's a chicken that got caught in a tractor's nuts.
Splendid. That's all
right. Sh. It's all right, Taggart. Just a man and a horse
being hung out there.
It's funny. The executioners dress like in medieval times.
And if you ever notice, Harvey Corbin's character never drops an N bomb.
Not one. Yeah, not one. Because he's supposed to be the intelligent one. And again,
it's the whole joke. Yeah, he's practic. He's one of the more like.
He's still racist, but he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut because
he might need to use one of those folks later on, and that's all he
cares about. And I don't even know if he's so much as
racist as he is. Just. He just wants money,
so he doesn't care about anyone. Right. It's so. It's hard to be racist.
It's. He doesn't think anyone's important except for him.
He's just a narcissist. That's fair. Yeah, but he has other ways
of. He has other things that he looks down on other people for. For.
Basically, he just knows that he can use black people because
everyone else is racist. So he just uses that.
If it was the other way around, he'd do the same thing because he just
doesn't care. Right. He would use whatever he can to his advantage. You are absolutely
correct there. So. Well, we cut to the town of
Rock Ridge, and it's a nice little song telling a story about the
town and how they're in trouble and seem like we're in deep.
Cows are everywhere. That's also a thing about this movie. Every time you go to
a building, cows are there for some reason. Yeah, it makes no sense, but there
they are. And the bad guys go looting through town.
All the while, the town's singing and telling that story. And we cut to
a church service. And that is our next clip. Be seated.
Now, I don't have to tell you good folks what has been happening here in
our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered,
crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded
and cattle raped.
Now the time has come to act,
and act fast.
I'm leaving. He don't get back here. You pass
can. They say to winter, there ain't no way
that nobody's gonna leave this town.
Hell, I was born here and I was raised
here. And that German. I'm gonna die here. And no
say rain. Them bushwhacking, hornswogging,
cracker crackers is gonna row white British cutter.
Now, who can argue with that?
I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating
what needed to be said. I'm particularly glad that these lovely children were here
today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish,
it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.
What are we made of? Our fathers came
across the prairie, fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts,
fought Dix. Remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried
to take over this town? Well, we didn't give up then.
And by gum, we're not going to give up
now.
Rarit have it. Olson Johnson is right.
What kind of people are we anyhow? I say we
stay and fight it out. Reverend, Dr.
Samuel Johnson's right about Olson Johnson's being
right. And I'm not giving up my ice cream parlor that I built with these
two hands for nothing or nobody.
Howard Johnson is right. Right. Thank you,
man Rarer. Well, if we're
gonna stay, I think it's a big mistake. We're gonna
need us a new sheriff. Now, who's it gonna be?
Why don't we wire the governor to. Send us a shell?
Why should we get our own men killed? Howard Johnson
is right. We'll wire the governor.
Then let us pray for the deliverance of our new sheriff.
Will the congregation please rise? I shall now read from the books
of Matthew, Mark, Luke and
duck.
We've got to do it. We just got to.
Governor. Governor. Governor, May I disturb you for a
moment, sir? If you will just sign this,
governor, right here. Yes, yes. What the hell is it?
Well, under the provisions of this bill, we would snatch 200,000
acres of Indian territory Which we have deemed unsafe for their use
at this time. They're such children.
200,008. 200,000 acres. What'll it
cost, man? What'll it cost? Ah. A box
of these. Are you crazy? They'll never go for it.
And then again they might. They love toys. May I try one? Please do,
sir. Thank you. Thank you. These things
are defective.
Right as usual, sir. Show off.
Sir. Just sign this, sir. Right here. Okay, give us a hand
here. All right, sir. Work, work, work, work.
Work. Work, work, work, work. Hello, boys. Have a good night's rest? I missed you.
Just one more bill for you to sign, sir. What the
hell is this? This is the bill that will convert the State Hospital for the
Insane into the William J. Le Peter Memorial Gambling Casino for
the Insane. Gentlemen, this bill will be
a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler.
Yeah.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's not Heady. It's Headley.
Headley. Lamar, what the hell are you worried about? This is 1874.
You'll be able to sue hard.
Just sign right here, sir. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very
much. All right. Help me in with this. Help me in with this. Help me
in with this. Think of your secretary. That's a very good suggestion.
All right. Thank you. All right. Okay. Is that it?
Anything else? Just a search in Callaghan for Rockridge.
That arrived last Friday. Last Friday? Read it. Read it,
you wild bitch. Sheriff murdered. Church meeting bombed.
Reign of terror must cease. Send your sheriff immediately.
Holy underwear. Sheriff murdered. Innocent women and children blown
to bits. We've got to protect our phony baloney job, gentlemen.
We must do something about this. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately.
Harrumph, harrumph, harrumph. I didn't get
a harrumph out of that guy. Give the governor harrumph.
Harrumph. You watch your ass. Gentlemen,
please rest your sphincters. Well put. Thank you very much,
sir. As Attorney General, I can assure you that a suitable sheriff
will be found to restore the peace in Rock Ridge. Meeting is adjourned.
Oh, I am sorry, sir. I didn't mean to overstep my bounds.
You say that. What? Meeting is adjourned. It is? No,
you say that. Gun. What? Meeting is adjourned.
It is? Here, play around with this for a while. Thank you,
Hetty. No, it's Headley. It is? Why don't you give these out to some of
the boys in lieu of pay? Here you go, Frankie. Johnny.
Patsy, Kelly. And one for Ms. Stein, my beloved secretary.
Play with these boys in lieu of out of other things.
This freaking thing is warped.
Why do we always get a warp one A sheriff?
But law and order is the last thing I want. Wait a minute.
Maybe I could turn this thing into my advantage.
If I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens
of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town.
Where would I find such a man? Why am I asking you?
Oh, welcome to Hanging House.
Not to worship Everyone is equal in my eye.
Oh, not my year. Not in my year. Oh, not in the year. Not in
the year. Sir. Governor. Yes?
Official business, sir. Is it important? It's very
crucial. Be with you in a minute.
Throw something on and stay in that position. Oh,
sorry, gentlemen. Forgive me. I was just
walking the parapet. Yeah. Taking a look around. What can I do for you?
Governor, as per your instructions, I'd like you to meet the new sheriff
of Rock Ridge. I'd be delighted. Wow.
I've got to talk to you. Come here. Have you gone berserk?
Can't you see that that man is a Nick.
Wrong person. Forgive me. No offense. Attendance. Janet,
have you gone berserk? Can't you see that that man is a nymph?
Don't worry, sir. Henley, I've always trusted your judgment
before. But haven't you taken a giant leap away from your good senses?
Please don't fly off the handle, sir. I am about to
make you an historic figure. Maybe even get
you a cabinet post. What? Cabinet post?
Yes. Did you say that? I said that. Wonderful. Yes.
The first man ever to appoint a black sheriff. Just think,
sir. Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln.
Lieutenant, sir, you have the seeds of grapevine.
Caress them, pour water on them. Don't shortchange
yourself, sir. It'll never work. It'll never
work. They'll kill him dead in one day. One day is all we'll need to
secure your name in the annals of Western history. And to get for you a
nomination. Dare I say. Dare. Dare.
The presidency. Hail to the chief.
Hail to the chief.
Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers
brought forth on this bill. Are you coming back?
In a moment, dear. Gentlemen, gentlemen. Affairs of state must
take pressure, precedent over the affairs of state. Yes,
of course, we understand. Will you make all the arrangements? I will
make all the arrangements. Especially the funeral.
Good luck. Good luck, boys. Wonderful working with you.
Good luck. All right. So the new sheriff rides into town and
the band's playing. They have a whole thing and the guy, the old prospector
guys, try to tell them that it's an N word
coming but the thing keeps like the music keeps blaring them out
so they just think he's saying the sheriff is near. His arrival
causes the town to go completely silent. He comes up to the podium and
that is our next clip. Excuse me while I whip this out.
By the power vested in me by the Honorable
William J. La Pettimain,
I hereby assume the duties of the office of sheriff in
and for the township of Rockridge. Gentlemen, gentlemen. Let us
not allow anger to rule the day. As your spiritual leader,
I implore you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to
say. Son, you're on your own.
Hold it. The next man makes a move, the gets it.
Hold it, men. He's not bluffing. Listen to him, man. He's just
crazy enough to do it. Robert, I swear I'll blow this
head. All over this town. Hold on. He's desperate.
Do what he say. Do what he say.
Isn't anybody gonna help that poor man? Hush, Harriet. That's a
sure way to get him killed. Oh. Oh. Help me.
Help me. Help me. Somebody help me. Help me.
Help me. Help me. Shut up.
Oh baby, you are so
talented. And they are so dumb.
I said order. You know, Nietzsche says
out of chaos comes order. Oh, blow it out your
ass, Howard. Now everyone be quiet
whilst we listen to Harriet Van Johnson,
our esteemed school mom, as she reads a telegram
that she herself has composed to the governor
expressing our feelings about the new
Scarlet.
To the honorable William J. Lepetamine. Governor,
can't hear you. Forgive me, I'm not used to public speaking.
We, the white God fearing citizens
of. Rock Ridge, wish to express our
extreme displeasure with your choice of
sheriff. Please remove him immediately.
The fact that you have sent him here just goes
to prove that you are the leading in
the state.
Town ladies sing this song. Doo dar
doo dar. I love that. The musical joke is that they
wouldn't sing any of the stuff that the guys were asking at the camp.
But immediately after they're not being asked to sing it.
They can't help themselves but keep singing it. And he just keeps
doing it the whole way through the film. Anyway, that's the end of the first
30, so yeah,
there's a lot. The town is stupid. He took himself hostage.
Yeah, that was a. That's where I'm like, this is Looney Tunes as fuck.
Yeah, because that's something.
That's how you get him killed. In which they were just threatening
to kill him, right? And now they're just all like all of a
sudden, tricked into being like, oh, no, this man is being held hostage.
We need to not do anything. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's what the hostage
taker's demanding. You're like, just, what in the
heck? I love how he does that thing where he's like, you are so talented.
And then he, like, looks at the mirror and he's like, man, they are so
stupid. They are so stupid. Yeah.
Like, these people are ridiculous. That's just the
point. They're racist. And they don't even know why they're being
racist. Because this is probably literally the first black person that
they've ever had to deal with. And they just immediately react the way that they're
reacting. And then whenever some of them do sort of soften
and start to like him, then they're ashamed of the fact that they might actually
like him. And that. What would their neighbors think? Yeah,
that comes up later. Right? That's what we're gonna see in the next 30
for sure. But that's just. I mean, it so
beautifully shows you how idiot chaotic bigotry is, you know?
Like, I just. I love that part of it. Yeah. It's stupid.
And that is what. For being a kind of what we would consider a
controversial film. All that Mel Brooks is trying to
tell us and show us how stupid racism is.
Why would you. It's the dumbest thing to hate anybody for is
who they are. Yeah. And if you don't get that, you haven't been
paying attention to Mel Brooks. Exactly. That's.
That's. That's a fact. Yeah. We can move on. It's fine. All right,
so the next 30 starts with the sheriff hanging up some Most Wanted
signs, and drunk number two, Mr. Gene Wilder,
wakes up. And that leads to our next clip. We're not sure.
Are we black? Yes, we are.
Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.
I think I better straighten myself out.
Need any help? Oh, all I can get.
Thanks. That's okay. Sit down, will you?
Hey, maybe you should eat something first. No,
thanks. Food makes me sick.
If a man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to
die. When? What's your name? Well, my name
is Jim, but most people call me Jim.
Okay, Jim, since you are my guest and I am
your host, what are your pleasures? What do you like to do? Well, I don't
know. Play chess. Screw. Well,
let's play chess. Checkmate. What?
Checkmate. Well. You devious son of a.
Happy days.
Man. Why you do that to yourself?
You don't really want to know that. I do, I do. Well,
if you must pry. I must, I must. I don't know if you ever
heard of me before, but I used to be called
the Waco Kid. The Waco Kid. He had
the fastest hands in the West. In the world. Well, if you
the Kid, then show me something. Oh, well,
maybe a couple of years ago I could have shown you. But today,
look at that. Steady as a rock. Yeah, but I
shoot with this hand. See, I knew you wasn't no Waco
Kid. You was just pulling my lariat.
Oh, deary dear.
Well, okay.
See that king? Yeah. Put your hands on both sides of it.
Now, when I say go, you try to grab it first. Man,
that's no contest. You a mile away. Yeah,
yeah. Anyway, when you hear the word go,
you just try to grab it. Ready? Ready.
Go. Hey, you looking for
this? Well, raise my rent. You ought to
keep. He was. Yeah, I was. The Kid.
Well, what happened? Oh, well, it got
so that every piss hand prairie punk who thought he could shoot a
gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid.
I must have killed more men than Cecil B.
DeMille. Got pretty gritty. I started to
hear the word draw in my sleep. And one day I
was just walking down the street and I heard a voice
behind me say, reach for it, mister. And I spun around
and there I was face to face with a six
year old kid. Well, I just threw
my guns down, walked away. Little bastard shot
me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon,
crawled inside a whiskey and I've
been there ever since. Have a drink.
Thanks. Anyway, that's all ancient history.
Now you tell me your story. What's a dazzling urbanite
like you doing in a rustic setting like this?
If you really must pry. Oh, I must. I must.
Well, back in 56, my folks and I were part
of this long wagon train moving west.
Well, not exactly part of it. You might
say we was bringing up D when suddenly
from out of the west came the entire Sioux nation.
And let me tell you, baby, they was open for business.
Actually, the white folks didn't let us travel in they circle,
so we made our own. No, no zeitnish.
Meshuggah laws. Engage.
Walk. It's all right. Thank you, thank you,
thank you. Our beag is in. Take off.
And the rest is history. Impressed?
Always like to keep my audience riveted. All right.
Little problematic there. Mel Brooks dress isn't the jizz
person. Yeah. So different time, folks.
It's a different time. Again, even that joke, if you think is funny,
is on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not funny. It's just uncomfortable
at that point. So we cut to some slapstick
comedy, which should help all the bad guys eat beans. It just fartied
up a storm. That's a solid three minutes of just a fart joke. So that's
awesome stuff. Says you. Says me. Yeah. All right. Well,
I'm into slapstick humor sometimes.
Anyway, they decide they're gonna send Mongo to go kill the sheriff.
Mongo being this big guy, and it's funny. They give him a
cigar, and he sticks his whole head into a fire and lights it.
Well, we cut back to the sheriff and the Waco Kid. And that is our
next clip. I got a note this morning. From who?
Well, I'm not sure. It was addressed to the deputy.
Well, once I establish myself in this here town,
Deputy Speed might turn out to be a groovy position.
Yeah. Listen, Bart, I want you to do me a favor.
I don't want you going out there this morning. You can't win these people over,
no matter what you do. They're just not going to accept. Got you.
I'm glad those fingers ain't loaded.
Just like old times.
Like I told you, once you establish yourself,
they got to accept you. Catch you later. Good luck.
Good morning, ma'am. And isn't it a lovely morning?
Up yours. What did you expect? Welcome,
sonny. Make yourself at home. Marry my daughter. Daughter.
You got to remember that these are just simple farmers.
These are people of the land, the common
clay of the new West. You know,
Morons. That really sums it up quite
well, doesn't it? Yeah, that's. That's supposed to be the whole point of this
movie. Yeah. Momongo arrives and he knocks out
a horse. He. He's just causing trouble. So they go and grab the sheriff,
and the sheriff's about ready to take a gun. And Waco Kid says, no,
you only make him mad. Don't shoot him. That'll just make him angry.
Ye. So this is where it becomes the most kind of
Looney Tunes thing in the movie. Yeah, it's the most obvious Looney Tunes thing.
Yeah. Mango is pretty much holding the entire town of men behind
a piano, just, like, squashing them. And he shows up as a sheriff. Shows up
dressed as a candy gram, gives him the candy. He opens it and it
explodes because the candy was a bomb. And then we
even get the Looney Tunes music. We cut back to Harvey
Korman. And that is our next clip. I thought sure
that Mongo would just mash him up in a little bit. Sheriff Meatballs.
I just don't understand it. Be still, Taggart. Yes,
sir. My mind is a raging torrent
flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall
of creative alternatives. Cow. Darn it,
Mr. Lamar, you use your tongue prettier than a
twenty dollar whore. Shit kicker.
Wait a minute. That's it. Of course.
And it'll work? You bet it will. What will
work? Elementary, cactus head. The beast has failed.
And when the beast fails, it's time to call in beauty.
Beauty? Yes, of course. She's never
failed me before. She'll turn him into jelly. She'll bring
him to his knees.
Where's my froggy? Where's my froggy?
I don't know. I didn't see it. Want to come in? Well, look. Damn your
eyes. Look for it.
Agint. Sorry, sir.
Hurry. Find it. Get it, get it. Will you look around. Hurry. Give it
to me. Hurry. Quick, Jagger, quick. That was a close
one. Daddy loves Froggy. Froggy loved
Daddy.
Ribbit, ribbit.
I don't know how you did it. He was nothing.
The bitch was inventing the candy ground. And they probably won't give me credit
for it. Good evening, sheriff.
Sorry about the up yours. I hope this apple pile
in some small way say thank you for your ingenuity and
courage in defeating that horrible monster. Thank you
much of good night.
Of course you'll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke
to you. Of course. Good night.
I'm rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.
See, in another 25 years to be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.
Well, I ain't gonna hold my breath. Come on, I don't
want to be late. That Lily Von Stup is opening tonight.
Lily Von who? Stup.
Welcome. Bienvenue,
welcome. Come on in. Lily Headley.
It's Headley for you, my dear.
Oh, how old? Ne? Lily.
Lily, Lily. Lily Legs. Lily.
Really, I cannot find the words to
truly express my joy at the rekindling of our association.
What's the job? I love it when you talk dirty. Come on,
Lamar, let's get down to West Tax. What do you want
me to do? I want you to seduce and abandon the
sheriff of Rock Ridge. Do you think you can do it?
A space mark A hering. Oh, Lily, you're magnificent.
Kiss me.
All been waiting for double variant Bombshell
herself. Let's hear it for Lily Von Stuck.
Here I stand, the goddess of desire.
Set men on fire. I Have this
power. Morning,
noon and night it's drink and dancing,
some quick romancing and then a shower.
Off stage door johnnies constantly surround me.
They always hum me with one request.
Who can satisfy their lustful habits?
I'm not a rabbit. I need
some rest.
I'm tired.
Sick and tired of love.
I've had my fill of love from
below and above.
Tired, Tired of being
admired. Tired of
love uninspired.
Let's face a umpire I've
been with thousands of men again
and again they promised the moon.
They're always coming and going and
going and coming and always too soon.
Vikings. I'm tired.
Tired of playing by game.
Ain't it a crying shame?
I'm so tired.
God damn it, I'm exhaust.
Hello, cowboy. What's your name? Tex ma'am.
Tax ma'am. Tell me, tax ma'am,
are you in show business? Nope. Well then why don't you get
your friggin feet off?
Hello handsome. Is that a 10 gallon hat or are you just
enjoying the show?
Oh, Miss Lily. Oh my lovely baby.
She can't.
Put it there Baby, put it.
Tired of playing the game Aimed
at a cry in shame I'm
so tired.
She's tired. She's tired and tired of love.
Give her a fight, she's had a bit of love she's done a snake
from below and above. Can't you see she's sick?
Tired, she's pushed. Tired of being admired
Let her alone. Tired of love on the spine get off your phone.
She's pirate, don't you know she's pooped?
I've been with thousands of men again
and again they sing the same tune.
They start with Byron and Shelly Then
jump on your belly and bust your balloon.
Tired of playing the game tainted.
A friggin shame I'm
so. Let's face it,
everything below the waist is kaput.
What's. I must see you alone in my dressing room
right after the show. Welcome on the
avenue. Welcome. Come on in. Regates. Minor shot,
seat five out for you. Oh,
a wet walls. How romantic. Have a
seat, Sheriff. Won't you excuse me for a moment while I slip into
something a little bit more comfortable?
Bitter baby Phoebe. Oh.
Why don't you loosen your bullets?
Ah, I feel refreshed. Isn't it bright in here?
There, isn't that better?
Pardon me, I'll be back in a moment. God damn it.
How's it going? Taste like wet sauerkraut in my hands.
By morning he would be my slave. Spring. Just let
me have a Little feel. Where were we? Where are
you? Ah. Oh, yes. Let me sit down
next to you. Tell me,
Shotzi, is it true what I say about
the way you people are gifted?
Oh, it's true. It's true.
It's true, it's true. Oh, so everybody's going to get to
hear all of the music in Blazing Saddles twice, apparently. Because I pulled the music
for, you know, our break pieces in the episode.
And you included them in all of your clips as well.
I apologize. I. You know, I'm sorry. It tells a
story. Anyway,
that's the end of that 30 minutes before we go into the final 30.
Meline Khan steps into this film and just fucking owns it.
Just like every time she shows up in any Mel Brooks movie, she just owns
it the minute she's on screen. I mean, not just Mel Brooks mov. Any movie
she owns, just everything. Yeah, it's fair. Anything that Madeline Kahn shows
up and she ends up owning the minute she's on screen. You are absolutely correct.
Where she dominates for sure is Mel Brooks movies.
Yes. Because she's like a ton above everybody else in these movies.
A clue. She was. Mrs. White was amazing.
Yeah. Yeah. I really do love the performance. I don't really blame
you for putting her entire song into your clip. I really,
truly don't. I just should have known that you were gonna do
that before I decided I should have picked some other stuff for the Pirate Ridge
to edit because now everybody's gonna have to listen to that twice.
Yeah, of course. Yeah. We can move on to the next. We're good. All right,
so now we cut to the next morning after their dillions.
And that is our next clip. Another schnitzen groban? No,
thank you. 15 is my limit on schnitzen grubin.
But hop out a little.
Baby, please. I am not from Huff. Excuse me,
honey. Besides, I'm late for work. I got some heavy
chores to do. Will I. Will I see you
later? Well, it all depends on how much vitamin E I
can get my hands on. Nein, nein.
Peter, no, no, you mustn't go. I. I need you. I never
met nobody like you. I can't live without you. The Heska marked mine entire.
Len, please, please. You're making a German
spectacle of yourself. A saying,
babe. Do, do,
do.
Oh, what a nice guy.
Oh. Oh, deary dear. Look what the
cat dragged in.
Hey, what's happening in the clean world? Oh,
bad news. I got a writ here for Mongo's
release signed by Hedley Lamar Himself, Hedley Lamar.
Why would a dude like Hedley Lamar care about Mongo?
It got me. It's legal.
Oh, them snitching groovers can wipe you out.
Wake up time.
Okay, Mongo, you're free to go. Mongo no go.
Oh, come on, Mongo. You a free man.
Mongo stay with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff first men
ever whipped Mongo. Mongo impressed have deep feelings
for Sheriff Bart. Oh, you better watch out,
big fella. I think Mongo has taken a little fancy to you.
Mongo straight.
Listen, Mongo, maybe you know.
Why is a high roller like Headley Lamar interested in Rock Ridge?
Don't know. Got to do with where Choo Choo go.
Mongo, why would Henley Lamar care about where
the Choo Choo go? Don't know. Mongo only
pawn in game of life. Choo Choo,
I think this might be a good time to mosey out where they're building on
the railroad and maybe do a little snooping. All right,
so the two ride out to the railroad and that leads to our next
clip. You shifting? They said you was harmed.
And they was right. Woo. Look at that, Star. Oo wee
civil service. All right. Yeah.
Wait. Wait a minute. Back off, scam. You are addressing the duly appointed
sheriff of Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge? Hey, the railroad's going through there.
And. Mess up the brother's well.
Holy mother of pearl. It's that wouldn't hit me
on the head with a shovel. Now, what the hell do you think you're doing
with that ten Star boy? Watch that boy,
redneck. You talking to the sheriff of Rock Ridge?
Well, now, Fat, don't beat all. Here we take the good time and
trouble to slaughter everlasting in the west
and for what? So then you point a sheriff that's blacker
than any Indian. I am depressed. Excuse me, Mr.
Taggett, sir, but I. Sure do hate to see you like this. What if me
and the boys was to shoot that dead? Would that pep you up some?
That might help. All right, boys, on account of three.
I wouldn't do that if I were you. Don't pay no attention to that alky.
He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot it. Like I said, on the
count of three. One,
two, three.
Well, don't just sit there looking stupid,
grasping your hands in pain. How about a little applause
for the Waco Kid?
All right, I'm through being mister. Goodbye.
The time has come to act and act quickly. All of my plans have backfired.
Instead of the people leaving, they're staying in droves. Why don't you admit
it? He's too much of man for you. I know.
You're gonna need an army to beat him. You're finished.
Verdict for fallen, verlumped,
verblungered, ver cocked, be foreign
off a England Vegas twat,
I must think. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She said
army. Of course. An army
of the worst dregs ever to soil the face of the West.
Taggett. Yes, sir? I've decided to launch an attack
that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes. What do you want
me to do, sir? I want you to round up every vicious criminal
and gunslinger in the west to take this down. I want rustlers,
cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados,
mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half wits, dimwits,
vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents,
Mexican bandits, muggers, burgers, bushwhackers,
hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers,
bank robbers. Ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists.
Could you repeat that, sir? Where's everybody going?
Read this. Well, can't you see that's the last act of
a desperate man? We don't care if it's the first. Act of
Henry V, we're leaving. Now, wait a minute.
Wait just one doggone minute here. Just give me
24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town.
Just 24 hours, that's all I ask you.
Do it for the Randolph Scott. Randall Scott.
All right, Sheriff, 24 hours.
Jesus. Randolph Scott. Well, the bad guys are now
getting together and we see a whole line of their. You know, they. They're getting
everyone. And it's like all the traditional guys. But then you get Nazi
soldiers, bikers, Arabian people with
camels. And then, of course, KKK members. Well, our two
heroes are spying on them. And as the bad guys are registering,
this leads to our next. Next.
Qualifications? Rape. Murder. Austin and
rape. You said rape twice.
I like rape.
Charming. Sign right here.
Take that badge. Next.
Qualifications? Arson.
I'm robbery, ma'am. Wait a moment.
What have you got in your mouth?
Nothing. Nothing. May Ly.
Gum. Chewing gum online,
eh? I hope you brought enough for everybody.
I didn't know there was going to be so many.
Boy, is he strict. Gotta get in there close and find
out what's happening. There's our
ticket.
Hey, boys. Look what I got here.
Hey, where are the white women at?
Be ready to attack Rock Ridge at noon tomorrow. Here's your badge.
We don't need no stinking budget,
Arnold. Time it up. Next.
Qualifications? Stampeding cattle.
That's not much of a crime. Through the Vatican.
Kinky. Sign here.
Why, Rat, how many times have I told you to wash up after
weekly cross burning? See, it's coming off.
And now for my next impression, Jesse Owens.
Seize them. Catch them. Catch them.
We'll head him off at the pass.
Head them off at the pass. I hate that
cliche.
Okay, I said, wow, he's stripped.
Yeah, that was a funny one.
All right, so they. They take some.
The. They. They got all dressed up in KKK hoods and stuff like.
Like that. Well, anyway, the sheriff, after escape, tells his
buddies to get all the guys together and some supplies.
He then addresses the town folk. And that's our next clip.
All right, folks, I know you're a bit confused, wondering what you're doing
out in the middle of the prairie in the middle of the night. You bet
your ass. I'm here. Now, before the
sun comes up, we're going to build on this site an exact
republic of the town of Rock Ridge.
Every building, every storefront, every rock and every tree
right down to the orange roof on Howard Johnson's outhouse.
Ah, I get it. And tomorrow, when Headley
Lamar and his. Men come riding in to destroy the real Rock Ridge,
they'll actually be destroying. The fake Rock Ridge. But they'll think that
it's the real Rock Ridge. But we'll know that it's the fake Rock Ridge.
How are we going to do it? We. We ain't got the time, and we
ain't got the people. Wrong. There's why.
Who the hell are they? Railroad workers.
They've agreed to help us make our dream come true.
And all they asked in return is a little plot of land they can call
their own. The homestead. Now, what do you say?
All right. We'll give some land to the.
But we don't want the Irish.
Everybody. No deal. Oh, prairie shit.
Everybody.
Do we have the strength to carry on
this mighty task in one night or
are we just jerking off? Amen.
Amen. All right, they copy the town.
Everything looks great. Harvey Karman addresses all his bad guys.
And that is our next men. You are about to embark
on a great crusade to stamp out runaway
decency in the West. Now, you will only be risking your lives whilst
I will be risking an almost certain Academy
Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Now,
raise your right hand for the pledge. Right. Now repeat
after me. I, your name,
your name. Pledge allegiance.
Pledge. Pledge allegiance. To Headley Lamar. To Heady
Lamar. That's Headley. Headley.
And to the evil and to the evil for
which he stands for which he stands
now go do that voodoo
that you do so well.
All the happiness. We are in trouble.
Yep. We forgot one little detail. Nothing's missing.
Everything's here, down at the last hitching post. People.
There's no people. Hey, now, now, now, don't panic, don't panic.
We just made a perfect copy of Rock Ridge. Now all we
got to do is make perfect copies of ourselves.
But they'll be here in half an hour. Right, so we
got to start working fast. Now, you men start working on the dummies.
Jim and Mongo, come with me. I got an idea that'll
slow them down to a crawl. All right, let's go. Come on, you guys.
All right, so the three, they build a toll station.
And the bad guys all have to pay the toll. They go, go back,
get dimes to pay. It looks like the governor put it up. So then they
get to the fake town. It has all the fake people in it. And up
top we see the townspeople there. You have dynamite set, and they're going to blow
it up. But when they hit the trigger, it doesn't work. So the Waco Kid's
gonna try and shoot the dynamite off. The bad guys are.
Are really messing the town up. And then they start to realize, hey, this is
fake. The Waco Kid shoots the dynamite, and then the townsfolk
go and try to wipe them out. We get a huge fight. Then we cut
to a Hollywood studio where there's a song and dance
happening. And the director cuts. And the director's Dom DeLuise and he's
yelling at all the dancers and the actors doing the number. And then
the town fight breaks through there and they all start fighting
each other and the actors join the fight. It's kind of fun. Then we
cut to an actor cafeteria and the fight breaks through there
and there's a pie fight. And we see Harvey Corbin come out of
the male bathroom and he pie hits the wall. He goes back inside
only to come out with a pie hit them in the face in the bathroom.
So this is a bunch of good slapstick stuff is happening here.
It's just. It's insanity.
He's had enough. And he goes and slams a pie to cover up up his
face. Then he goes and gets a cab and says, get me out of this
picture. Yeah. Yes, he does. Just about to say he wants out, gets a cab,
says, get me out of this picture. However, the sheriff gives chase.
Harvey goes to the movies, and when he gets Inside the movies.
There's all the. There's all the.
The cows are in there again. Yeah. So.
Yep. So anyway, then the sheriff gets there.
They chase. Then the sheriff shoots him right in the dick.
And Jean Wilder gets over there.
And this leads to our final clip. You shot the bad guy.
Well, what do you want to do now? Come on. Let's check out the end
of the flick. Yeah. Gee, I sure hope there's a happy ending.
I love a happy ending. Sheriff, you can't go now.
We need you. The work here is done. I'm needed elsewhere now.
I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West.
Wherever innocent women and children are afraid to
walk the streets. Wherever a man cannot live in simple
dignity. And wherever a people cry out
for justice. Oh,
all right, you caught me. Speak the plain truth.
It's getting pretty damn dull around here. Good luck, Bart, and God
bless you. Oh. Oh,
Bo. Bye, baby bro.
Keep the fave, brothers.
Where are you headed, cowboy? Nowhere special.
Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there.
Come on. All right. They ride off together, and then they get off their horses
and they get in a car that drives off. Roll Credits.
Cinema PsyOps 10 years.
10 years. I love that. The end of the film breaks the
fourth wall where they break into another set to have the fight. Then it breaks
the fifth wall, because out of that set for the fight and into
the commissary in the studios behind the scenes. Then they break a seventh
wall where that commissary, like the character,
but it's also Corman himself as the actor, decides to get off the
picture. So he goes to flee, only to end up at the Grauman's Chinese
Theater at the premiere of Blazing Saddles, which is another
dimensional wall being broken. And I forget what number we're even on at
that point where he watches the film and he finds Cleavon Little's character
as Bart the sheriff coming after him, heading up to the same theater.
So he flees to conf. And then we're back in the actual
movie, which has broken one of the multiple dimensional walls
to be back at the theater so that Cleavon Little can confront him and shoot
him in the dick. And then they travel through however many dimensions they
have to to get Gene Wilder there at the theater. Then they go back in
to watch the movie at the premiere after it's already been made,
to see the finish of the film and make sure that it's a happy ending
so that they can then ride off into the sunset to catch a
car to go do the Scenes that we see after the movie at the premiere.
Yeah. When will. Soon.
I know you're not supposed to think too much about what they're doing at the
ending, but, like, if you really, really think about it, they actually
planned out, like, this is the ending of the movie. This is what it would
sort of be like if this actually happened at the premiere. This is what it
would sort of be like if they broke into another set, you know,
and that's when Harvey. Carmen's like, they actually thought that stuff out.
And it's. Maybe it's just because I got a little bit high right before the
very end during that last clip, but like, the dimensional reality break that
they do in this film actually kind of have a continuity to them
and make sense and they loop. Yeah,
exactly. It's kind of cool. I'm just saying
it's. It's. It's a rough movie because there's a lot of
stuff going on. Yeah. You. At the same time,
if you watch it for what it's supposed to be, it's actually a very
smart, good movie. Yeah. It's rough to have to listen to
every single slur that is uttered out of these ignorant motherfuckers
mouths. But once you realize that they are ignorant and
they're being portrayed as the butt of the jokes, the fact that they're using these
words is what's making them the butt of the joke. That they are
these dumb, ignorant motherfuckers. That's the. That's the point of
the movie. But you gotta suffer through the horrible shit
the ignorant people say in order for the joke to kind of land, which is.
It's. I can understand why you wouldn't want to do that anymore. I totally can.
And yeah, it was rough to watch it this time around for me. And I'm
glad I watched it in my house, just me and like. Yeah, yeah,
right. I watched it when. Okay, so my wife took a nap,
right. And then I watched it. I started it while she was taking a
nap. And she slept through pretty much all but like a
half hour of what was left of the movie. And then she was working on
some stuff like she was making a dip or some shit like that. I can't
remember exactly what it was, but, you know, so I let it play in the
background. And so by the time it was pretty much where she
was ready to sit down and just watch TV, the movie only had 10 minutes
left. And she just let me finish it. And she sat there and watched it
and she was paying full attention when the townspeople said the thing about
the little. No, but at least no Irish. And she was like,
what the fuck? You know what I mean?
Like, obviously. Right. And so I essentially
said to her what we were talking about, like, over the clip, whenever that
was happening. I was like, every single person is getting besmirched
and degraded in this film. And the people that are doing it, the people that
are bigots, are horrible, stupid people, or at the very least, are just very
ignorant people that need to be taught that that is not how you should be.
Right. Yeah. I was like, that's the joke. It's uncomfortable because that's
the joke. And then they did a couple of more various,
like, racial jokes like that, where the white, dumb, ignorant people
were the butt of the joke. And then she kind of got in and got
into it a little bit more, but it was still, you could tell, very uncomfortable.
And that was just the point when she was just paying attention. Like, she commented
on some of the other racial slurs. And I'm like, that's the butt of the
joke. I don't know what else to tell you. You know? Sorry.
Right. That's how this one goes. Yeah. Blazing Saddles is almost getting
to the point where it's like, if you are going to enjoy it, you need
to go do that solo. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. It's. Or somebody who gets it, you can enjoy it
with them as well. But, I mean, it takes a bit.
Yeah. Don't watch it with an idiot because it'll just annoy you.
It'll make you very mad. I think you and I could probably watch it.
Like, if I went over to your. House, we could watch it together. Yeah.
Yeah. If I went over to your house and we were, like, hanging outside in
your. Like your. Well, your garage bar thing, like, on. It was on
your tv and we were watching it, we could probably watch
it, you and I, and be fine because that's how we get the joke.
Yes. But I don't. Yeah. You start throwing in too much mixed company.
And all it takes is literally the one person that doesn't realize that they're the
butt of the joke and are, like, really into the racial shit for wrong reasons
just because it makes them feel like it's okay for them to be racist when
the fact of the matter is you're the butt of the joke. Bull. Come on.
Yeah, exactly. You're the butt of the joke. If you think
just because you're saying these words makes it funny. Yeah, I'm pretty much Done talking
about it. I think I'm ready to take the break now and we can do
a story time. What do you think? Let's do it. All right, so next
on the pirate radio edit, the Ballad of Rock Ridge.
And immediately following that, we'll have Matt's story time.
I think you got some.
I just had some more ideas for some more podcast
we can do. This will be great podcast.
Way better.
Anyway, one of the podcasts are.
Maybe we could take that and we could dance.
My brain is opened up to a. New sense
of adventure and reality.
I can see music. I can
face love. And I.
He's the lizard man who's been living underneath my big
thumbnail. I call him Cous because he lives
under my big toenail and all. He smells bad,
but his intentions are good.
Really should not shock anyone who's seen any of Mel Brooks's stuff before
this that there was so much musical interludes and things like that
placed in this film. Yeah, I mean that's. That's a Mel Brooks thing. Is almost
everything he does is still kind of a musical. Yeah. Yeah. He fits it
into a lot. The least of which is actually shockingly
Spaceballs. Right. Because there's a huge musical number in Men and Tights.
Yeah. And Spaceball still has a bit kind of musical.
Little bit of stuff in there. Yeah. But not as much. It's like the least
out of all of them that I can think of. But anyway, we're just delay.
It is the least. We're just delaying the point until I play this for you
to tell your story time.
Story time.
Story time. Few things I've been thinking of
lately. Wonder how much I want to get into this. Okay. Voting season.
It's upon us. And unfortunately it's really sad when your childhood
heroes just become God awful human beings, isn't it?
And they've always been. But now you're realizing it. Yeah,
I know where you're going with this. Yeah. The. The Undertaker
did a campaign video with Donald Trump
and it still started for me with Hulk Hogan just being kind of a human
being. And then I was like, God, that sucks. Because I loved Hulk Hogan when
I was a kid. I love the Undertaker. And yeah. Who was also.
Well, yeah. And then I loved Kane and then Kane was like,
I'm a libertarian. And I'm always like, I'm a leery of libertarians.
People say they're libertarians. It just makes me think, you don't want to tell people
you're Rep. Republican. Okay.
Or, you know, but he's Libertarian, but he fully supports in
Kane, as Glenn Jacobs fully supports Donald Trump. And then I was like, God,
that sucks, because I loved Kane. God, that sucks. And now.
And I always kind of wondered about Undertaker, but I kind of,
you know, he never came out and said anything so I could ignore, you know,
just maybe some blinders and that, that, that ended.
And I just sit here and I'm like, how many of my heroes do?
I just like everything, just from childhood.
Then it comes out like, Brett Favre's an. Not really. I don't know anything about
his political leanings, but everything with his charity stuff that,
you know, he stole money that was supposed to go to people. I don't know
that that's. We better be careful of that, actually. Allegedly, because I think
he sued people already for that. So allegedly,
you were talking about. There are allegations enough to where you're like,
jesus, if this is true, you're going to have a huge, you know, drop in
opinion for Brett Favre. That's all you're saying? Yeah, yeah,
exactly. I'm just. Yeah, it's just. It's sad.
I don't know. I think we're all going through it now as we're all growing
up. And your heroes of the past have. There's so
many more platforms for them to talk on. Talk on.
And, you know, we. We see everything.
Nothing's ever hidden, so, you know, we have to
sit here and just see it. And I don't know
how I'm supposed to, you know, this goes from maybe a story time
to more of a therapy session. I don't know how I'm supposed to get over
this. And I don't think I'm supposed to. Right. Yeah. You can either
choose to just enjoy the wrestling character and
get into the kayfabe anytime you see that, Stu. And then
from this point forward, decide, I guess whenever he's coming back or
doing any kind of appearance, you just ignore it or. Luckily, I think we
might be done with that. I think last WrestleMania
in which I was super excited when the gong hit because again, I didn't
know any of this stuff yet. And so you're kind of. It was awesome
and. Yeah. Yeah. But now he's
got his podcast going and everything. And so you just kind
of. You sit there and I'm just like, okay, I guess this is. This is
just kind of it, you know, and hopefully, you know,
he just stays away for a while. He's already in the hall of fame,
so we don't have to worry about. I. Yeah. I guess in watching the past
stuff, I'm just gonna have to try this to get into the characters and not
think about, you know. Yeah. The people behind it.
Like, Hulk Hogan's ruined it for me. Like, I watch past like
stuff. I like pay per views and stuff I watched as a kid and
I can't get over it now. It's that bad. Also watching
it and realizing how many of them are dead also kind of bums me out.
Yeah. Nothing can take away the joy of. First see
Undertaker doing a chokeslam for mankind through the top
of the giant cage all the way. Which wasn't supposed to happen.
Killed him. Right. He was just supposed to be chokeslam to the cage. It wasn't
supposed to go through the cage. Right, yeah, yeah, but. Well, the cage was
supposed to drop, but it was supposed to be slower. And then, man, can we
kind of roll down it? But so many things had snapped from them standing
up there that it just gave away completely instead of gradual. Yeah.
Yeah. That is one of the most amazingly insane things
I've seen in professional wrestling live in my life.
Ye. Yeah. Yeah. And nothing can take
away the joy of experiencing that. You know, you learn a bunch of stuff
about how Jake the Snake had his issues. And granted, you know,
a lot of it is really bad and some of it is just a guy
trying to enjoy his life, you know? Yeah, well, yeah, Jake the Snake
is a tragic story, but it's that. That's a
story that you can get behind because he's. He's turned his life around. You know,
he's. He's off drugs, all that kind of shit. You can feel
something with that. This is just watching somebody supporting
a ass hat. I know,
I know. It's happened to Bev. She used to love that Zachary
Levy guy, and then he came out and supported her too. And obviously.
Oh, yeah, his career didn't quite go where he was wanted to go, did it?
And so because of that, she's very heartbroken because
she really did enjoy a lot of the time that he was like, the stuff
he showed up in. Even though he was never really a major star,
she always kind of was rooting for him. And just before that,
he had been a really big proponent on mental health advocacy and was really trying
to help people in that way. And then this happened and it was like
this huge disappointment. Everybody has this where a hero will do something
that disappoints you. That's why you should probably just accept the
fact that people should not be your heroes. You can admire certain things that
they've done, but they're always going to fail you in some way, shape or form,
and you have to be ready for that. And as I've grown,
you know, I don't have that problem anymore of,
you know, that kind of stuff. I don't really see heroes.
And I like how much, like you say, I just enjoy it. So really
it's my childhood that's just getting constant. Instantly meandered.
Yeah, well, for those of us that had the roughness in the childhood,
we understand, we know where you're coming from. You're having things. So there you go.
There's my story time. It's less of a story time, more of a therapy session.
So I get that out there because they've just been sitting here with a bummed
out life for a few days now.
Well, I'll tell about my therapy sessions and my story time for
our next week. So there we go. Let's play the show Housekeeping. And then immediately
following that, on the pirate radio edit, we will have the main theme from Blazing
Saddles. If you've decided you can't get enough of the show and would like
to check out more of it, we're available at legionpodcasts.com
This is Dan. Councilor Dan Schmeel. Hi, Dan. I saw you call
me like a ton of times on Skype here, man. Why was that
no good bastard him in that video? All right, I admit
it was really wrong of him to do it.
Watching her gyrating womanhood, her heavy,
sweaty. Bosoms being groped by those tall,
scrappy sex robots with their growing blonde
hair, growing hard fish back abd arms fizzled.
Chest and pulsing, throbbing. Okay,
enough, enough, enough. What do you want, Stan? What do you want from me?
Oh, I'll just put up you. You wanted to grab dinner sometimes.
Cort. Now look, I'm flattered, okay? But I'm also very
married and very happily married.
It's for podcast ideas. I got ideas for
podcasts. You want me to help you set up a podcast? Yeah. You and
me, we can be a team. Do podcast. I treat you
so much better than evil. Oh, come on, man, it's not like that.
No, no, no. Matt and I, I have of working relationship.
It's a partnership. It's not like you're expecting here. Come on,
you know, I understand. That's. That's what I mean too. I completely. Working relationship.
Like me and the shaman, man. Professional. It's not maybe sometimes.
No, no. What you and the shaman have is far from professional.
Dan, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It really is. And I don't. I don't
judge that relationship at all. I want you to know that I'm very happy for
you that you're being who you want to be, but I'm just. I'm taken in
both podcasting and in a relationship otherwise,
so. Okay. Give me
that son of address, Dan. He's. He's listed. You can find him
if you really want to. I'm gonna kill that bastard. I'm gonna do
it. Okay, Dan, you need to lie off. The ayahuasca
and all this other stuff that you've been taking. You know how it makes you
crazy. I could. I could see stories.
I know, Dan. I know you can see stories. I get that.
Listen, it's. It's going to be okay, dude. You just. You and shaman need to
kind of work on the dynamic that you guys have with your friendship,
business partnership, and whatever relationship you got going on. I'll win you
home. You the last you've heard of me. Cort,
you're not going to win you home. You're. You're not going to get
it mad by starting a podcast with me.
Maybe you could send me a sex. Robot too, you know, just saying.
Well, for research purposes, you guys have seen the prices for
the sex robots. So if you guys can pony up, you can
have whatever model you want. Okay, I'll be
in contact. And you're personal number card. Thanks for giving it to me.
Fine. I don't remember giving you my number. Oh, well, that's funny.
The Internet's a great thing. God damn N.
We gotta say the parody that they do for sure 100%
with the music is perfect for the eras of the old west
style movies that they're trying to emulate and make fun of in Lampoon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, just. Yeah. The. The. The.
The. The jokes and the. The verses is just so great.
I mean, it's just so well written. Yes,
yes, yes. Well, I'm definitely done talking about blazing sad and
all the awkwardness that was instilled with that. Yeah. Yes,
yes. Thank you. So everyone kick the out of this week and make it your
while you enjoy Meline Khan singing once again about how tired
she is on the pirate radio edit.
Counselor D be right
and you can with us your own be indeed of me
and the shaman doing her special exercises that be all
wrapped in cellophane new just for you.
Anyway, I think I Instagram.
I really want the shaman to tell you
we're in the Special lodge where we sweat out
the demons.
All of a sudden, really busy car, he said.
I think he's trying to pull off his little
troll inside of him. I'm not going to tell him
about towing, you know my little lizard friend under my
big toe. Now he might try to get him. I don't think he likes
taking this under to his car. Anyway,
I haven't got a territory. It's you,
me in the shadow and we don't get into the sweatpants.
We take special pills and then we talk about the first day to
come to America. I believe if you get a podcast for
you should come down here to sandy showers.
Again. They promise. Hey, what's up? You hear this?
Yep. All right. And you are up first.
And it's 481, I think. Let me check the schedule.
Jesus Christ. Scheduling document.
I forgot to do something. So let me just real quick.
Recording in progress. Oh, 481. How have
we been doing? I'm sorry about these clips, by the way. This movie doesn't
hold up. I'll be editing out as much as I possibly
can of all of the races. It's everything, man. It is everything. Every offensive word
is really used for every group. Yeah, yeah,
it's. It's a hateful movie. Yeah. Blazing saddles 481.
Here we go. Jesus Christ. Three, two, one.
Well, I told you it was going to be a bad idea for you to
send those videos, did I not? You know what? Just wait till he
gets the pictures I sent. Oh, it's gonna be brilliant.
Oh, you didn't use the internal cams of the bots, did you? You God damn
right I did. He's gonna get a whole new view of Precious Millicent.
He's obsessed with me, man. Did you hear those voicemails? I had to put them
at the end of the episode cuz they started coming in like a fury after
I edited it. You're not the only one, dude. He got my number and gee,
I. Dude, I had over a hundred voicemails. Some are words that.
Some are here are just mumbling. I don't know. And then he said somebody was
going to steal you from me. What kind of relationship does he think we have?
You know, I think it has a lot to do with him and the shaman,
like both, because they had a very unspoken thing that
was going for a very long time that neither one of them really dealt with
until this whole Millicent leaving him thing came to a head. I'm really tired
of really just dealing. With them and their dirty laundry, you know? I know.
We might have to find a treatment center, get them clean off the hooch.
Oh, yeah. And they're both. It's not hooch. It's all these weird,
like, hallucinogenics that they think because it's all natural and it's made
in rainforest that it's okay, but it's like, no, man, it's still not.
It's still a goddamn drug, you know? I have to watch out for my
family. I'm in the bunker again, for crying out loud.
Yes. Yes. Thank you. So, everyone kick the fuck out of this week
and make it your bitch while you enjoy Madeline Kahn singing once again about
how tired she is on the pirate radio edit. I'm gonna
let that play forever if I don't stop it now. We need to take.
Yeah, Rick and I gotta take a piss. Let's get going. All right,
so recording stopped.