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Many Latinxs were harmed in the making of this movie.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:00.222)
Hello and welcome back to popcorn and pilato's movie review podcast? Question mark.
Spencer (00:05.275)
Pew, pew, pew.
Luciano (00:07.463)
Why are you so tentative about it? We've been doing it a while. No, we don't. Yeah.
Chris (00:10.069)
It's happening.
Matt (00:10.558)
I mean, do we really review a movie or do we just shit on them? Through the lens of plot holes.
Chris (00:14.375)
Or did it review us?
Spencer (00:14.923)
No. No, we like movies too.
Matt (00:19.126)
We like, I didn't say we didn't like movies. I mean, don't we?
Chris (00:19.251)
We do.
Spencer (00:20.932)
You said we shit on them.
Luciano (00:23.47)
For the most part, that's what we do.
Spencer (00:26.051)
That's fair.
Matt (00:26.558)
We, oh, what is it? We, what's like Weird Al? We parody movies. We jest upon movies.
Luciano (00:32.324)
Yeah, no we don't.
Chris (00:34.727)
We parody movie reviews.
Luciano (00:37.571)
Okay, that I can get behind.
Spencer (00:38.103)
I say along with constructively criticize.
Matt (00:41.954)
Hmm, is it constructive?
Chris (00:44.435)
Can we go back to shitting on them? I think so.
Spencer (00:45.783)
It's constructively a word.
Matt (00:45.95)
Yeah. Welcome to the popcorn and plot holes.
Luciano (00:48.069)
Yeah. It is. Yeah. It is. Yeah.
Spencer (00:50.895)
Hehehehe
Matt (00:53.93)
This week we have watched Blue Beetle. It's the sound from Batman, like the 64 Batman. Watch some movies and TV shows in your spare time. We watched Blue Beetle. With me as always is Chris.
Luciano (00:54.939)
The fuck is that?
Chris (00:58.889)
Yes.
Luciano (01:00.29)
Oh, is it?
Luciano (01:03.827)
FFFF-
Chris (01:03.912)
Mm.
Matt (01:09.334)
Lucy Auto.
Luciano (01:10.523)
Da na Blue Beetle!
Matt (01:13.354)
I hate you so much.
Chris (01:14.523)
No, no, no. I hate it. I also hate it. I co-sign. Let's dial payments on the hate. BOOOOOO!
Spencer (01:17.018)
I'm sorry.
Matt (01:17.315)
The worst.
Matt (01:21.666)
Boo this man. Spencer, you're also here.
Ha ha ha.
Luciano (01:28.321)
HAHAHAHA
Chris (01:30.331)
I could rock with that.
Spencer (01:30.859)
Welcome to Bumara. Where are the drugs? Where's Scarab?
Luciano (01:33.314)
hahahaha
Chris (01:35.859)
YOU KILL A TANGO BALL!
Matt (01:38.55)
That's foreshadowing folks. Let's dive into this movie. It is the third movie or a five movie facts review hitting our comics dead on. This is, Blue Beetle is the George Lopez vehicle.
Chris (01:53.663)
That's right. All day, every day.
Luciano (01:54.286)
It was if it wasn't supposed to be that's what it was. Yeah
Matt (01:57.834)
It was. Let's dive right into it. I've already spoiled the lead, but maybe I should say what is the best part of this movie besides George Lopez? But let's just talk about George Lopez for a bit. Let's just talk about George, Uncle Rudy.
Luciano (02:06.466)
I think that's fair. Yeah, no, he was... Yeah, Echo Rudy was the good one.
Chris (02:08.767)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (02:11.947)
Yeah, bro.
Spencer (02:12.76)
What a beard.
Luciano (02:14.231)
Yeah, well, I have one of like everything the at the end when he had. Yes. And he had, I loved that he had like a suit with shorts and like soccer socks at the end. Hey, a beetle tail. No, no, just no. Okay.
Chris (02:16.703)
Was that a rat tail or was that a ponytail?
Spencer (02:26.659)
was an anteater tale.
Spencer (02:32.544)
No. What?
Matt (02:33.26)
No.
just know. And may God have mercy on your soul.
Spencer (02:36.921)
I award you no points.
Luciano (02:40.812)
Hahaha Yeah, this is becoming a thing now
Matt (02:43.752)
Okay.
Spencer (02:44.999)
Yeah, Blue Beetle, baby. This is the petering death of the DC cinematic universe.
Luciano (02:47.036)
I-
Matt (02:52.774)
I don't think this killed the DC cinematic universe.
Luciano (02:54.72)
No, this is like.
Spencer (02:55.447)
No, not that it killed it, it was just on the, what do you call it? If the peak was the top, we're at the precipice, we're at the outro.
Chris (02:55.859)
Second did.
Matt (03:00.542)
precipice Yeah, the precipice
Chris (03:00.562)
The cusp?
Luciano (03:04.191)
Nay dear.
Matt (03:07.722)
outro. No, zero points.
Chris (03:08.959)
But the tricky thing is that this is part of... The tricky thing is... Maybe, but it's part of the gun and Peter Safran transition. So Safran was like producer or something. So he probably might want to keep that. He might... I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to keep it.
Spencer (03:10.51)
No.
Luciano (03:12.064)
No.
Luciano (03:17.263)
The transition?
Luciano (03:21.175)
Yeah. Oh, that's not good. Yeah.
Matt (03:23.627)
Yep.
Matt (03:28.382)
Swan song is the word we're looking for.
Luciano (03:28.583)
Yeah.
Spencer (03:29.799)
swan song yes the exit lewd nope also okay nope we're gonna go swan song the flu good flu ganzas some may say
Chris (03:31.187)
Hmm
Matt (03:34.178)
Nope, that's not a word. Oh, yep. We're just gonna go with words that people know. That's all I'm asking.
Matt (03:45.931)
I do, I do, before Spencer runs us into the ground with whatever he's gonna do, I do want to talk about the things we'd like to do with this movie. Just anything. George was fun. I also enjoyed, I enjoyed the Blue Beetle mobile from the Watchmen that showed up at the end of the movie. The Night Owls flying vehicle. Yeah.
Luciano (03:46.016)
What the f-
Chris (03:46.184)
FUGEZE?
Spencer (03:50.864)
I'm trying.
Chris (04:06.543)
Oh, the bug? Yeah.
Spencer (04:08.117)
Yeah, Night Owl's car. Flying machine. His hallelujah sex machine. The hallelujah sex machine.
Luciano (04:10.897)
Oh yeah, that's right, yeah.
Chris (04:12.507)
I'm gonna course correct all of you, actually. That was Comic Accurate Flying Bug, code name Bug. And it was cute, I was here for it. As your resident comic nerd.
Matt (04:14.482)
Yeah, that's right. That's very bang. So yeah.
Matt (04:24.814)
I'm glad it was comic accurate. I think, you know, that's good. It was fun to see. I think some of the scenes of them storming the island were interesting. I won't talk about how they should never have been able to storm the island. That's a spoiler for the plot holes that we're gonna go into.
Chris (04:29.193)
No.
Spencer (04:37.039)
We'll get there, baby.
Luciano (04:38.081)
I also liked Milagro the sister. It's just very funny. Yeah
Chris (04:41.141)
Oh yeah!
Spencer (04:41.391)
The sister was great. I actually have in my notes, I really liked the whole opening of the movie, the whole first bit, and I thought the family, all of them were great in the first bit. I thought it got a little bit cartoony as it went, but in the first act, I thought they were all funny, the sister especially. I wrote, I said, sister was great, it's refreshing, she's not a genius.
Luciano (04:57.523)
I fucking hate all of them.
Luciano (05:03.719)
The sister, yes.
Spencer (05:08.763)
because I was expecting you to be like a tech genius.
Luciano (05:08.857)
Yeah.
Chris (05:09.059)
Oh, thank you. A real person.
Matt (05:11.606)
Spoiler alert, we just shifted that roll one to the left or the right depending on how you want to look at the family.
Spencer (05:14.899)
Yes, yeah, exactly. I was a little disappointed that just changed roles. And some of the writing at the beginning made me made me laugh. I was like, oh, this is going to be kind of quick and witty and fun. Like when she fires, the girl comes out of the toilet and they're all standing there. And and they're yeah. And I was like, I kind of got a little chuckle. And then she was like, she was like, you're fired. Same with you, toilet. She just calls her toilet. And I was like, OK.
Luciano (05:17.134)
Hahaha!
Luciano (05:30.723)
Yeah. Hoo-wee! Ha ha ha!
Chris (05:32.182)
Yeah.
Chris (05:37.615)
Yep, say it.
Yep. Yeah.
Luciano (05:41.696)
Yeah.
Spencer (05:44.503)
I'm like, I like this, it's fun.
Luciano (05:45.771)
There were a few moments, like there were a few like chuckle, like good hearted chuckles in this movie.
Spencer (05:49.995)
Yeah, me too. I actually had a couple like decent chuckles, but only in that first act that I recall.
Luciano (05:55.031)
No, in the end two. One or another. Yeah.
Matt (05:56.526)
I really enjoyed finding out that Nana was a revolutionary, I thought that was fun.
Chris (05:59.815)
Facts and she's just like pushes her grandbaby aside It's behind her and is and then like unleashes hell havoc Yeah, man put like earned all the respect
Luciano (06:02.623)
Yeah, behind, no, behind her. He, yeah, yeah.
Matt (06:04.318)
Yeah.
Luciano (06:08.863)
Abajo con los imperialistas! It's great, it was great, yeah. You were sleeping during that part, Spencer, I think.
Spencer (06:16.503)
Um, I don't know what you're talking about. No, I actually don't know what you're talking about. I was sleeping. Um, I may or may not have fallen asleep during a small bit of this movie. And I know what you're saying. You're a professional Academy award winning podcaster. You should be above that. You should watch the movies that you're reviewing. And to you, I say you are correct. And, um,
Matt (06:18.65)
Spencer, did you even watch this movie?
Chris (06:18.684)
Were you conscious?
Matt (06:23.239)
Ha ha
Chris (06:24.179)
Damn.
Luciano (06:33.363)
I'm going to go to bed.
Matt (06:37.324)
You should.
Luciano (06:41.011)
Shut up.
Spencer (06:44.779)
Yes, I fell asleep for like 10 minutes from what I, from what I believed was five to 10 minutes. I may have been told it was a bit longer, but I just needed to put that out there as a, um, what are they, what are they called as a, uh, a PSA to those listening. My review is, uh, is asterisked.
Luciano (06:53.187)
Yeah, it was.
Chris (06:53.598)
Hmm
Luciano (06:58.643)
caveat.
Luciano (07:08.219)
That's not how the word is pronounced, but let's move on.
Matt (07:09.93)
Not at all.
Spencer (07:10.36)
I-I-Words?
Chris (07:12.186)
That sounds like you're not blaming the movie and I'm for that.
Spencer (07:15.294)
Yeah, no, I didn't give it my all, you know, I missed a little bit of the movie.
Chris (07:20.263)
Make it sound like you're a team coach that lost a game.
Spencer (07:23.551)
Yeah, you know what? We gave it our all out there. We really tried. We tried to get through the whole thing, but you know, sometimes it's not your night and um, you know, we just got to get back out there and do our, do our thing.
Luciano (07:24.729)
Hahaha!
Chris (07:30.904)
Yeah
Matt (07:31.89)
Hey, Matt from ABC 123 News. Coach, how do you think you're going to improve from this to make sure this doesn't happen on your next movie?
Spencer (07:37.676)
Yes, Matt.
Spencer (07:45.047)
Well, you know, it's all about attitude. You know, we didn't we didn't we didn't have it tonight. And, you know, we got to we're going to take that blame right on the chin. But we're going to use that, use that and, you know, really use that to improve. And we can only go up from here. So next question, next question, you in the back. Seymour, yes, go ahead.
Chris (07:48.447)
Hmm.
Chris (08:03.763)
Mm-hmm. Seymour Roas here, sir. Seymour, Seymour Roas, yeah. Now tell me, how does this game compare to your previous games and the lack of strategic observation? Like, what have we learned?
Spencer (08:19.583)
Now that is out of line Seymour! You crossed a line. I have been sick of this shit! My team, we put our hearts into this game. Yeah, it's over. No more questions. How do I turn this thing off?
Luciano (08:25.595)
Hahaha!
Matt (08:25.934)
This press conference is over.
No more questions. This press conference is over.
Luciano (08:32.475)
Knock the mic off and walk away.
Chris (08:34.303)
actually knocked the knife. Oh wow, he's so heated.
Luciano (08:37.955)
Hahaha!
Oh, that happened. Yeah.
Matt (08:41.038)
So, uh, Blue Beetle is a movie. We watched it. What? I have a question. I don't know how to start. It's not the right place to start at, but it just, I have some questions about this person. Ignacio Carapaz, aka the OMAC or OMAC or however you want to put it. Besides being a massive trope, what was his deal?
Spencer (08:43.744)
What now?
Chris (08:44.49)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (08:57.671)
Okay, right.
Luciano (09:10.838)
Besides being a cardboard cutout of a person.
Spencer (09:13.278)
Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong. He did not speak at all until the end.
Matt (09:13.655)
Yeah
Luciano (09:17.997)
Ah.
Matt (09:19.602)
No, he said a couple things. He was like, we have to go because of the incident at the party, the mixer they have.
Luciano (09:20.88)
Yeah.
Chris (09:21.467)
Yeah. EHHHHH
Luciano (09:25.627)
He speaks very little in the beginning, you're right, but he does speak. He does speak.
Spencer (09:29.423)
While I was awake, I did not hear him speak.
So, so I, yeah, it didn't, no, I, he didn't get much character development and then all of a sudden a wave of development at the end.
Chris (09:34.684)
You did not observe that?
Luciano (09:35.935)
Sounds like a you problem.
Luciano (09:42.919)
not... well, yeah, it was one scene of like a movie's worth of development, yes.
Spencer (09:49.923)
Well who is this, made by Zack Snyder? Oh!
Matt (09:55.717)
I kinda, yeah, they gave him his cutscene right at the end to explain his backstory.
Luciano (09:55.829)
Yeah, a little bit.
Spencer (09:59.64)
What are they hiring them for rebel moon?
Luciano (10:00.275)
That's not true. There wasn't enough slow motion in that scene for that to be him. Yeah. I don't know. I was going to say, I don't know. Like it felt like when he first shows up, he feels like, Ooh, this is going to be an interesting sort of like.
Matt (10:05.014)
No, that's fair.
Chris (10:07.071)
It was, it was interesting. Okay, go ahead, go.
Luciano (10:19.207)
different sort of villain in that he's already kind of in the way of becoming the thing that he wants to become, like kind of a cyborg thing. And I didn't think they were gonna, I hoped against hope they weren't gonna go with like the tragic story, that's why he became a villain thing. And I thought we'd... Well, yeah, I... Because that's so cliche, it's like there's no way they're gonna do that.
Spencer (10:37.399)
I did not see that coming.
Luciano (10:44.579)
And then it went the entire movie without that happening. I was like, oh, okay, at least this. And then it happens at the very end. I'm like, come on. So I don't, I don't know. The guy, I don't blame the actor. I think he did a good job with what was given to him. He was scary, but there's only so much an actor can do with a shitty part, I guess.
Spencer (11:03.224)
Get a cool voice.
Chris (11:08.223)
It was weird observing it because they set him up. Like they set his character up. It runs for like the first two quarters of the movie. And then when they capture Jaime and they have him like imprisoned just before the transfer and stuff. Like there are these little moments when like Victoria Cord says something that.
that the camera switches over to Ignacio and there's this like telling, there's this knowing look on his face. Like in that scene when he, when Jaime's captured, she says something that triggers him. It's like sacrifices must be made or whatever. And he looks over to at her. And to me, I interpreted that as I've heard this shit before. I know where this is going, but I'm already on my path. I can't do anything for this kid. I gotta stay, I gotta keep, I got, I have my goal, but something doesn't ring true with me, Ignacio.
Luciano (11:52.91)
Yeah.
Chris (12:03.215)
So like, I read all that and I was like, okay.
Spencer (12:05.935)
You got a lot of character development out of one look.
Luciano (12:07.855)
No, but no, but I, that's, but that's the thing. I thought it was going in that, in some kind of direction like that too, but they, yeah. Like way before, right? Not at the very last minute of the movie.
Chris (12:09.115)
Yeah!
Matt (12:09.489)
Yeah
Chris (12:14.451)
Like he would turn on her of his own accord.
Spencer (12:20.487)
Well, there's also that scene where she plugs into his brain and then he drops his locket. He's like, oh, and then she's like, I'll hold on to. That's whatever the scientist plugs into his brain.
Luciano (12:29.027)
Well, it's not him, right? It's the scientist. It's Guillermo. Guillermo from what we do in the shadows. The scientist, he plugs in and he drops the locket and she picks up and says, I'll keep it safe.
Spencer (12:40.215)
And she's like, yeah, but like, I was like, wait, in a moment, in that moment, I thought she was like betraying him or something.
Chris (12:47.515)
It felt weird.
Matt (12:48.906)
It was also sexually charged in a way that just never made sense.
Spencer (12:48.913)
It felt weird, right?
Luciano (12:51.663)
It, yeah, it was, yeah, like, it's like she tried to make it sound sexy somehow. It was like.
Spencer (12:52.035)
Heheheheh... Uuugh... You boned my brain hole! Heheheh... Heheheheh...
Matt (12:59.534)
Yeah
Chris (12:59.696)
So when they punch out, when they clock out, right? What is an evening with Victoria and Ignacio look like? Cause she's like, it doesn't look like maternal between them. Like she's, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Luciano (13:00.239)
Hahaha!
Luciano (13:11.627)
No, no, it looks like she's like, oh, we're partners or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that has to do with the fact that her character was also a cardboard cutout of a character. Right. What like.
Spencer (13:12.844)
No, it's sexual.
Spencer (13:17.42)
No, you know.
Matt (13:17.762)
but not sexy partners.
Chris (13:20.539)
Yeah.
Spencer (13:21.592)
I think they're sexy partners.
Matt (13:26.618)
I don't think they're sexy partners because they talk about, in the flashback sequence at the end, they show he was a soldier stepping on a mine. And so unless the OMAC is delivering a dick for him, nothing's happening.
Chris (13:39.507)
Right. But that's actually that's in her favorite. Oh, Mac Daddy did. Oh, Mac Daddy did lay in the pipe. Of course, Victoria. Oh, my.
Luciano (13:40.614)
Yeah.
Spencer (13:41.271)
We have old Mac daddy. You ready for old Mac daddy? Oh, yeah.
Luciano (13:46.694)
Ha ha
Matt (13:48.181)
So that's why it's called the OMAC. OMAC Daddy!
Luciano (13:50.691)
Oh, wait, that's, that's why he was so interested in getting the thing because as Kaji says, you can, you know, whatever you can imagine I can make. So if you can imagine a dick, there you go. Yeah.
Spencer (13:52.805)
Oh man.
Matt (14:01.817)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (14:02.263)
happiness.
Chris (14:02.267)
Yes.
Matt (14:04.682)
Mac Daddy dick.
Chris (14:06.295)
Mac Daddy dick a Mac Daddy dick that makes julienne fries and Big Mac sauce. Okay, Victoria's got needs Listen don't worry about that No one said no one said No one said no one said that it was coming out
Spencer (14:07.862)
A MAD-
Spencer (14:12.83)
Whoa.
Matt (14:13.878)
That grossed real fast. They got real crass. I don't think you want Big Mac sauce coming at your dick at any point in your life. That's infected.
Luciano (14:13.983)
What the? That was, what the fuck was that? Or something that, or something that Julie ends.
Spencer (14:21.07)
You'll never need to pay extra for Big Mac Sauce again.
Luciano (14:28.411)
That's not better, Chris. Hahahaha!
Matt (14:28.497)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (14:29.699)
Well, that's much worse. It's just secreting from the sides.
Matt (14:31.826)
What?
Chris (14:34.971)
Listen, you finished it. That's right.
Luciano (14:36.059)
He also said the Dick Julian's fries. Like who wants that?
Spencer (14:39.347)
Hehehehe
Luciano (14:41.859)
No, nobody wants that!
Chris (14:42.079)
Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup h
Matt (14:43.926)
That's... no, that's gross. That's... moving on! We're moving on from Chris's weird food fetishes. Um, so we're fine with, uh, Omex. Yeah, we're fine with his.
Spencer (14:44.396)
Hehehehe. AHHH
Luciano (14:46.844)
This man has a child.
Spencer (14:48.527)
Hehehehe
Chris (14:50.663)
That has nothing to do with it.
Chris (14:59.239)
Daddy Dick Omec?
Luciano (15:00.787)
We're not fine with any of it, but I guess that's a reason. Yeah.
Spencer (15:03.369)
It is what it is.
Matt (15:04.923)
It is what it is. I mean that's kind of the state of this movie in some cases it fluctuates wildly to me
Chris (15:07.987)
Yeah.
Luciano (15:12.091)
I also thought, just speaking of Carpax as well, I thought that they didn't want him to like to leave him as like a villain as well, like they did with Victoria, cause she's irredeemable, right? She's a fucking psychopath. She couldn't have just been some greedy corporate person or whatever. No, she had to be a complete psychopath that was willing to kill everybody and whatever. Now it's too bit two dimensional for me, but whatever. But with him.
Matt (15:24.558)
Sure.
Matt (15:32.335)
I'm fine with that, honestly.
Matt (15:37.502)
Let's, I mean, let's, no, this is, sorry, I hate to cut you off, but this is the crux of this movie, right? This is where this movie is divisive, because IMDB, not IMDB, sorry, Rotten Tomatoes, both the critics and the audience really enjoyed this movie. Critics were like 79%, audience 91%. And so they had a lot of, they had a lot of fun with this movie. And I see points where they could have fun with this movie, but I also see points where it's just like, it's paint by number comic book movie. If this was, if this was like the fourth or fifth comic book movie that came out,
Luciano (15:49.756)
Right.
Something like that, yeah.
Luciano (16:02.509)
Oh yeah.
Matt (16:07.162)
I could see why everybody loved it, but it's like, what are we, 30? Yeah, yeah, exactly. 2004 was a hot banger, but now it's just like, all right, so like we have an evil corporation, we've got an evil lady instead of a man leading a corporation. They're one dimensionally evil.
Spencer (16:08.943)
Yeah, 2004, this movie bangs.
Luciano (16:09.531)
The 40th? Yeah.
Spencer (16:20.333)
Yeah.
Luciano (16:24.02)
We... And that's what I was saying, is they have the evil white lady who recruited the guy, the tragic guy who's also Latino, like everybody else that's not her in this movie, including her niece. And, no, that was the first... The first thing I wrote down on my notes on this movie was when the credits were going, I was like, this is some fucking Latino salad right here. Because there's like...
Matt (16:36.766)
Right. Yep.
Spencer (16:37.3)
That's true. Everyone Latino is okay. Anyone white is terrible.
Chris (16:38.959)
and her staff, her house staff.
Matt (16:42.946)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (16:51.903)
Mexicans and Puerto Ricans and Brazilians. I'm like, okay, so this is going to be, and I'll get, this is what I was getting into as well. I was like, okay, so this is going to be an interesting thing where they show, you know, the Latinos suffering, like, you know, the prejudice and all that, which they do. But also this movie, and I speak this as a Brazilian person, this movie is racist against Latinos in a way that only Latinos know how to be.
Matt (17:20.53)
Can you explain it for the whites of us? I'm sure Chris doesn't need this explanation.
Chris (17:21.192)
Mmm, please, yes. If that's okay.
Spencer (17:22.36)
Yeah, cause I didn't see that.
Luciano (17:22.471)
for sure.
So sure. So like the whole, the whole thing in, in edge keys is like, it's not like. They're like, Oh, this is a typical sort of Latino neighborhood and Latino area in an, in a U S C D. Well, this is like, let's pick every single stereotype from every single Latino culture and put it there.
Spencer (17:26.911)
Yeah. What, what are you talking about?
Luciano (17:53.595)
together as if it makes sense. So like his family, right? You guys are talking about the family, how it was funny at the beginning. Like I hated it first because yeah, because I saw that in every single soap opera I was ever forced to watch in my life as a kid, both Brazilian and Mexican soap operas by the way, because Brazil got a lot of the Mexican soap operas too. And so it's very, in the same way that you're saying Matt, that this is a superhero movie by numbers, right?
Spencer (18:02.148)
Really?
Chris (18:11.103)
Tell the novelists.
Luciano (18:23.647)
That was a soap opera by numbers, which is not an orignial endorsement in any way. No, but that's the thing. It's not really making fun of it. It's leaning into it and going, hey, look, it's a Latin stereotype. Don't you like it? Please like it. It's pandering. Yeah, it's not racist if you're... Yeah. So the whole thing with the family with them, like...
Matt (18:29.09)
But they make fun of it, doesn't that negate?
Spencer (18:41.339)
It can't be about wrong if you point it out that it's meta. Then you're a good writer.
Matt (18:46.972)
Yeah.
Luciano (18:50.639)
like the thing with him, them driving him to court tower when he goes to talk to like, that is like a bunch of stereotypes. The family is always around like helicopter parents and everybody cheering and the whole hi, like that whole thing. That's like a bunch of stereotypes altogether. And then, and then they show Jennifer, right, which is a Brazilian actress, and she's Brazilian in, in world as well, not just as an actress.
Chris (18:54.792)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (19:19.581)
Yes.
Luciano (19:20.299)
And then the first thing that they show her doing is fucking pickpocketing the guy. And the second thing that they show her doing is lockpicking something to steal. So I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
Matt (19:31.098)
I was wondering when she was going to let Rosino Guillermo just hit the trifecta.
Luciano (19:36.695)
Yeah, might as well, right? She could have done it instead of just pick pocket him, just like stab him in the back and steal his thing. And she could have even been sad like she did in the end where she speaks Portuguese, she could have gone, hmm, latracinho. Like that would have been, yeah. So and the whole thing in the middle, also when, you know, they're attacked, Victoria goes to the family house and they round them up.
Matt (19:51.982)
Perfect.
Chris (20:03.807)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (20:05.575)
and like the guards not only find them and they're looking for Jaime, right? They find him and then they drag him out. When they're going already, they drag them out and they like toss things on the ground for no... What are they... Why are they tossing things on the ground? And then the house catches on fire and then the dad has a heart attack and then...
Chris (20:10.856)
Yeah.
Chris (20:14.131)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (20:24.608)
The house catching on fire pissed me off because they like barely did it. It was like the world's tiniest candle fell on the carpet. Carpets aren't that flammable unless you're pouring gasoline on them.
Luciano (20:28.057)
Yeah.
Yeah, they are in soap operas. They are in soap operas.
Chris (20:31.341)
Mm.
Matt (20:37.344)
Do Latin families dip everything in gasoline just to...
Luciano (20:39.732)
In yeah in kerosene actually
Spencer (20:41.226)
I'm a little triggered you guys aren't saying Latin X.
Luciano (20:44.807)
I, it's Latinx, if you want to say it that way. And I won't. Yeah. It's just so because I don't, I'm not going to get into it, but like Portuguese and Spanish, they don't have neuter gender. So everything is male or female. So that's the way they make it neutral. But
Spencer (20:48.216)
Is it actually? I don't know what that is.
Spencer (20:59.778)
Ah, is that her?
Matt (21:00.695)
Yeah. So it is over-correcting politically to... Yeah, that's if you're right. It's awkward because the languages themselves are... Oh my God.
Luciano (21:03.987)
It's not really over correcting, it's a way of trying to correct it. It's fine, it's just awkward to say, right? At least for me.
Spencer (21:11.031)
Well, as a white man, I thought the Latino were funny. Culture's funny. It's different.
Luciano (21:11.883)
Yeah. So so that whole thing in the middle where the dad dies has a heart attack because obviously he had to have because they mentioned it and the house catches on fire. Right when he says it right. So all of that is like dead. Yeah.
Matt (21:18.377)
Oh my god.
Matt (21:25.074)
Oh, I pegged that guy. That dad dying, I had him pegged like from about when he sat down with them and they drank the tequila. That guy's dead.
Chris (21:30.052)
Yeah.
Spencer (21:30.808)
If you're gonna-
Spencer (21:35.099)
But if you're gonna kill the dad, like, what? Don't give him a heart attack. Have the villain kill him so it has more motive.
Matt (21:38.946)
Don't Black Panther him.
Luciano (21:41.403)
Yeah, don't blank panther him.
Matt (21:43.506)
No, no, but they foreshadowed the hard problems, right?
Chris (21:45.043)
But then it's... Yeah.
Luciano (21:47.097)
Yeah.
Spencer (21:47.575)
But that still it's like you want like if the story especially with him being like at the end He's like I want to kill you and then the things like don't kill it's not right That would have been a lot more powerful if it was like he was killing one of the killed the person who actually killed him like why not Why not do that?
Luciano (21:49.725)
So.
Luciano (21:59.447)
Yeah, yeah, it would have. But then I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because that whole thing, all of the disgrace happening at the same time, and the hero being like blindsided by the disgrace and getting fucked by the villains, that is like 100% a soap opera stereotype. All that was missing for that to have been a full Mexican stereotype was for him to find that Jenny was his mom or something.
or his long lost step sister or whatever. So that happens a lot too. It's like, we can't be together. We can't be together because, and then it closes on her, I am your mother Jaime. Like that's all that was missing for it to be a, exactly. Yeah, well, yes. So like to me that has that layer of Latino, like just Hispanics and Latinos, like just.
Chris (22:31.383)
Oh. Hmm.
Matt (22:33.154)
But then they can't bang?
Matt (22:40.598)
Oh, and then it's a Pornhub film.
Spencer (22:41.164)
Whaa
Luciano (22:56.939)
cheating on each other and they're saying, yeah, but then also saying, but look at how evil this white person is, which to be fair, she was. Yeah. So that's why I hated that whole interaction with the family, all of the interaction with the families.
Spencer (22:58.11)
playing up stereotypes for laughs.
Spencer (23:06.095)
Well, that's also true.
Matt (23:10.994)
White people are, I can prove to you that white people are inherently evil in Latin soap operas. Luciano, can you translate my English name into my evil white person name for a Latin?
Luciano (23:20.009)
Mm.
Ha ha ha!
Luciano (23:27.655)
Well, I can't in Portuguese. It would be similar in... You want the whole name? Just the whole name.
Matt (23:30.718)
Yeah, it's fine. Give the whole thing, it's fine.
Luciano (23:36.395)
So Matt has a very posh name. I'm not gonna say the English one, but I'll translate it. It's Mateus Ruy Alberto Conquista. And I should you not, if you said, if you talk to anybody who's watched a Mexican soap opera and you said the villain of the soap opera is named Mateus Ruy Alberto Conquista, and they'll go, oh yeah, I watched that. I definitely watched that. Because it's too.
Spencer (24:00.973)
I think I've seen that one.
Luciano (24:02.667)
It's too perfect. Like if it was a made up name, it wouldn't be too perfect.
Spencer (24:08.443)
That's the one where he puts the family business out of business where he can build a large mall, I believe. And then he pees on the grave.
Luciano (24:15.831)
No, what he does is he buys all the shantytown houses, and like houses in quotes, the shanties, right? Yeah, if you will, all of the keys. And then what he says was, I'm going to help this community. And what he does is he knocks them all down and builds like a parking lot. That's what that character does.
Matt (24:28.511)
all of the keys.
Spencer (24:30.712)
all the key to build a Confederate statue.
Matt (24:32.042)
Yeah.
Chris (24:32.179)
Mmm.
Ha ha!
Spencer (24:35.451)
Ha ha
Spencer (24:41.931)
Hey, people need to park! Hiram out!
Matt (24:43.978)
and they can work, but the people can work at the parking lot for a nominal fee. I'm not paying them, they pay me.
Luciano (24:46.063)
They can work in the parking lot, parking cars as well. Yeah.
Spencer (24:50.624)
They pay. They pay. Oh yeah.
Luciano (24:52.387)
No, actually, no, actually, no, because you build them new houses and they can pay you for the new houses by working. Yeah.
Matt (24:58.862)
Right, yeah, so they'll never actually make a profit. Yes. Old junker cars, Chris.
Chris (24:59.711)
So are the houses cars?
Spencer (25:04.204)
They get paid in white devil coin.
Luciano (25:06.048)
Honestly, you can sell that as a premise for a soap opera and you'll get made, for sure.
Matt (25:11.414)
Done, make it, done. Call our lawyer Spencer, call our Latin lawyers. Fire this up.
Spencer (25:16.155)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (25:19.356)
Anyway, so that's the extra layer for me that made me pissed off with this movie. It was how pandering it was in that sense.
Chris (25:19.903)
Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?
Luciano (25:29.751)
I do, I did like the references to El ChapulÃn Colorado though, which is, you know, that was though.
Spencer (25:34.928)
I liked it because I thought their culture was different.
Matt (25:40.07)
Oh my god.
Luciano (25:40.967)
Yeah, my god.
Chris (25:42.335)
What's this character called now, Spencer?
Spencer (25:42.519)
No, actually, I didn't notice any of that, so I did enjoy it. Well, they said funny things like Bane's.
Luciano (25:44.987)
This is Bubba Spencer. It's Bubba Spencer. Ha ha ha.
Matt (25:46.806)
Hehehe
Chris (25:47.16)
Hey, bub-
Matt (25:53.506)
Chris, you had nothing to say during Luciano Explains Latin Culture to a couple of white guys. So, I'm wondering if you have any other things you found in the movie that you liked or you found that were awkward.
Luciano (25:57.211)
rent my rent.
Chris (25:59.647)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (26:07.135)
Things that I liked were how mobile the beetle suit was. So like translating to the fight scenes, right? So very highly charged. Like that was like a mobile bat suit. I guess that's Dark Knight Rises meets Netflix Daredevil. That's the level of high energy that I wanna see. And then...
Luciano (26:17.203)
Yeah, yeah, that was fun. That was fun, yeah.
Matt (26:31.242)
with a spice of like, a Spider-Man in there.
Luciano (26:34.156)
Oh yeah, definitely.
Chris (26:34.443)
Yeah, yeah, I could see that. And so very much appreciated. And then.
Spencer (26:37.595)
Don't forget us.
Luciano (26:39.101)
Did the bottom of the mask need to move when he talked? That was weird to me.
Chris (26:43.495)
That was interesting. Yeah. I guess they... hmm. Yes. And I'm here for that.
Spencer (26:46.753)
Gave me quite a Power Ranger vibe too.
Luciano (26:51.175)
So it's basically just superhero jambalaya is what you're saying.
Matt (26:54.094)
And that's because I was looking at IMDB and I found this. That's because the voice of Kaji Da, Becky G played the yellow Power Rangers in 2017 Power Rangers movie. Yup.
Chris (27:02.279)
Which one? Oh, in the 2017?
Luciano (27:02.912)
Are you shitting me?
Oh my god. What's her name? Is she Hispanic as well?
Chris (27:10.227)
Dope. Becky G.
Matt (27:13.841)
uh... i guess uh... rebecca marie gomez
Luciano (27:17.283)
Yeah, oh yeah. So it's okay that she starts, yeah.
Spencer (27:18.179)
The Beatles was Latino too? What a coincidence.
Matt (27:21.826)
But that actually makes sense because Kajida started to speak Spanish at the end, so it makes sense they have someone who actually can do it properly.
Luciano (27:25.651)
Spanish. Yeah.
Spencer (27:30.604)
Oh yeah, I remember that part.
Matt (27:32.618)
You missed it, you fuckin' sleepy bitch.
Chris (27:34.771)
Things that were, I guess like the second part of your question, like anything that was weird, we covered the Ignacio Carapaz thing. The OMAX actually, they were close, but not quite. Like I was expecting like a fleet of OMAX to like get activated and try to bum rush Jaime, right? Cause they had all of those harnesses waiting in the what, a catacombs or whatever.
Luciano (27:54.296)
Oh, I see. I see.
Matt (27:59.49)
Yeah, Spencer, I don't know if you saw that part in the movie, but they had like, okay, they had like a fucking Bruce Wayne, Wayne Manor cavern of just like, omacs, and they were somehow power, giving them all the same code as they gave to OG omac, omac daddy, if you will.
Spencer (28:03.307)
Yeah, no, I did. They had a hanger full of.
Chris (28:13.448)
Yeah.
character.
Luciano (28:16.576)
Yeah. And also it was going to that little thing on Victoria's hand, which was the only copy they have left because we're going to, I'm not going to go into it because we're going to talk about the technology, but like, this is so stupid. Let's not go there because once we get into that, we're not going to get out of it.
Chris (28:22.856)
Right.
No cloud storage, nothing. It looked like a sidekick. Okay.
Matt (28:32.458)
Let's... Chris, let's. Let's just get into it. I think we're here. It's a good segue. Let's use it. Plot holes in this movie. It's a... Sorry, would you say Spencer?
Luciano (28:35.827)
All right, let's go.
Spencer (28:39.575)
Let's not fight it.
Spencer (28:43.823)
said let's not fight it.
Luciano (28:45.905)
Yeah.
Matt (28:47.251)
Yeah, the plot of this movie is very simple. It is what, who technology, where technology, what technology, why technology, when technology, also how technology. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you a couple of points in the movie where technology comes into question and we'll go from there. Uh, the first glaring one I see is, uh, cord. Is it just cord? Is it cord industries cord?
Luciano (28:52.518)
Hahaha
Luciano (28:56.871)
Classic question.
Luciano (29:12.079)
Yeah, Card Industries.
Matt (29:15.49)
Basically Stark Enterprises in a nutshell. And so they have a lot of technology. They have helicopters they fly around on. They're able to drill into things and all these fancy computers, you know, with those screens and stuff. Well, they drill into this, the giant blue beetle thing that no one explains why there's just this giant thing out in the desert that no one's ever talked about. Not important. So our boy Jaime goes to Chord Tower, I guess we'll call it.
Spencer (29:25.595)
They can drill into things. Wow.
Spencer (29:33.756)
Oh yeah, that's a good point. Giant sphere.
Chris (29:35.487)
True.
Matt (29:42.862)
to meet up with Jenny to get a job because he lost his job, right? And when he goes there, Jenny is in the midst of stealing the Blue Beetle from Guillermo. So what we see in this scenario is one, all Jenny has to do in order to break into what would arguably be the most high security place if the Blue Beetle is so important. She steals Guillermo's pass card, swipes once, says nothing, gets in, steals the thing, leaves, and then walks out of the building.
Question 1, how do you get a mo-
Luciano (30:13.911)
Not that there's one there's one extra step there because by the by the time by the time Jaime walks out with the out of the thing with the building it was already on lockdown. So how did he walk out? Okay, it's before okay. I'm sorry. Go ahead
Matt (30:17.527)
What did I forget?
Matt (30:25.482)
Right. I'm not even at that point yet because I still got to ask the question of, as before, Garamo gets back into the high security place. How? His pass card's gone.
Luciano (30:34.075)
Germo no, you're fucking Victoria now call him Guillermo
Matt (30:37.65)
I am, I'm sorry, but that's fair. Does she call him Dr. Sanchez or is that his actual name?
Luciano (30:43.799)
No, that's what she calls him. His name is a really long, like, doctor.
Chris (30:44.351)
She calls him that. Which.
Spencer (30:47.616)
You're the problem, Matt. You're the problem.
Matt (30:47.71)
I'm sorry, IMDB lists him as Dr. Sanchez, so I can only do so much. It does. 100%. So it's IMDB's fault at this point. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dr. Sanchez. I'm sorry, Guillermo. I don't know what to do here. I'm sorry. What is it? Harvey? Is that his actual name? No, I was actually picking his... No. Yeah, De La Cruz. I'm sorry, Harvey Guillen.
Luciano (30:51.411)
Does it? Oh my god. There is no way. Oh, okay fine. Then use Sanchez then.
Spencer (30:52.256)
No way!
Spencer (30:58.871)
Wow, that's pretty bad.
Luciano (31:00.427)
I'm sorry, Guillermo. I'm sorry, Guillermo. All right, fine.
I think it's Dr. Ruiz or whatever.
Chris (31:11.059)
Something something, Dela Cruz.
Luciano (31:12.632)
Oh, de la Cruz, de la Cruz.
Spencer (31:13.061)
Yeah, Cruz, that's right.
Matt (31:17.374)
Ian, that's your real human name. The not, yeah, your actor name. So he gets back into there. No idea how he gets back in. His pass guard was stolen, but he gets back in. And then is able to say, lock the building down. And so locking the building down is a bunch of guys just running out, running around. Hut, hut, hut. And Jenny's like, Jenny, so Jenny gives the Blue Beetle obviously to Jaime. And then she directs guys to go lock down different places.
Luciano (31:18.58)
Oh, the actor name.
Luciano (31:27.119)
Oh yeah!
Luciano (31:33.783)
Running around, yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (31:34.992)
Hut hut hut! Heh heh heh, hut hut!
Matt (31:47.158)
But like, I'm-
Luciano (31:47.859)
except the only the closest exit and then someone who never yeah no and someone who has never been in that tower before just walks out yeah
Matt (31:50.79)
Meanwhile, people are just leaving.
Spencer (31:54.049)
Yeah, and mouse
Matt (31:57.862)
walks out. And he wasn't the only person who locked out after the lockdown put on the building. No one, there's no technology to secure the building. There's no technology to stop anything from happening. Not a goddamn thing. No. I just want to give one other, one other spot where we don't see technology and then we can dive into the overall thing. The end of the movie, when they go to this island, they bought off the, they bought off the, you know, coast of Cuba.
Luciano (32:02.363)
Hahaha
Spencer (32:08.055)
Is there a question here, Matt? Is there a question? Okay, okay.
Luciano (32:12.613)
Hahaha!
Luciano (32:18.693)
Okay.
Spencer (32:25.807)
Epstein Island.
Matt (32:26.23)
They fly in with the... What did you call it, Chris?
Luciano (32:28.547)
Eps- This is not the Epstein Island, you dick! Hahahaha!
Chris (32:29.598)
The bug.
Matt (32:32.45)
What the fuck? Can we not talk about Jeffrey Epstein every fucking episode? No. It's just an island. Fucking stop. Uncle Rudy flies the bug to this island. The only security on this island from a company that is able to make the OMAC and is able to extract alien technology programming
Luciano (32:35.26)
Ha!
Spencer (32:36.451)
Every time an island comes up, it's gonna happen. There's no more islands, just islands anymore.
Luciano (32:37.883)
Hahaha
Chris (32:39.184)
It could just be an island.
Luciano (32:42.349)
it.
Chris (32:45.151)
This can't go on.
Luciano (32:49.383)
Right.
Luciano (32:53.263)
It's...
Luciano (32:58.247)
Yes, and hack it so that the guy can't use it like with the claw. They stopped him from using it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (33:03.91)
Exactly. The stupidest thing I've ever seen. And he hit the enemies. Fucking the claws out. You can get to that. The only technology they have is guys with guns and walkie talkies. Not a goddamn...
Luciano (33:15.421)
Yeah, and the guy looks like, OK, this is a private island. Nobody should even know it exists. But there's this thing flying. And the guy just goes, huh, there's a thing flying. Yeah.
Chris (33:15.611)
Hmm.
Matt (33:25.23)
No urgency, he's fucking private military contractor. No alarm system, no radar, no heavy weaponry. Not a goddamn thing.
Chris (33:27.175)
No alarm. Yeah.
Luciano (33:31.511)
Not- yeah. That's true, no radar at all. Like... What the fuck?
Matt (33:38.55)
I ask you this question. The fuck? It's an island! How the kids getting there?
Spencer (33:38.908)
They're paid to keep kids off the premises and that is all.
Luciano (33:47.588)
All right. I don't like.
Spencer (33:48.059)
Ski- Ski-doos?
Matt (33:50.895)
Well, they can't see them coming because they don't have any fucking technology to detect them.
Spencer (33:52.332)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (33:53.379)
Yeah, they could, they could, the kids could go there, nobody would know.
Matt (33:57.59)
But they got a goddamn skyclaw that disables alien technology.
Chris (34:01.151)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (34:02.011)
Good ol' Skyclaw. Never leave the house without it.
Chris (34:03.807)
convenient when it's convenient.
Luciano (34:03.854)
Yeah.
Chris (34:07.515)
Yeah, that's not cool.
Luciano (34:07.531)
Yeah. They have holograms. They do think... yeah. Like that fucking CD...
Matt (34:11.879)
Everywhere.
Spencer (34:14.439)
He might say they're like the least high tech. The fucking airport has holograms when you come down the stairs.
Luciano (34:18.227)
No, Palmera, yeah, Palmera City looks like Night City, like, or whatever it is the fuck that they call Blade Runners. Yeah.
Matt (34:25.047)
Yeah, it really does.
to Blade Runner City? Yeah. Blade Runner City.
Spencer (34:30.319)
like cyber pretty sure that's what it called
Luciano (34:32.219)
Glid Runner City. Detroit. No, it's not. But yeah, like.
Spencer (34:37.599)
Yeah, they, maybe, maybe they're just cutting costs, you know? All they blew their budget on the Oh, max. Okay. They built 10,000 before they even implemented one other than that one guy.
Matt (34:45.546)
No, but like, what do you mean cutting costs?
Matt (34:54.326)
Yeah, but, but there are-
Luciano (34:54.543)
What are you saying? Are you saying they went? Oh, this omacs are going to be so expensive. We have to turn off security. Is that what you're saying?
Spencer (35:00.203)
Yeah, they can't even use a microwave there.
Matt (35:02.99)
But like, they're supposed to be, their thing is like, that's why I use Stark Industries. Like, they are, whenever TED disappears, they go back to being a military contract, like a military-grade weapon provider. So you're telling me they don't got anything? They just like, sold it all to make the OMAC?
Spencer (35:16.623)
No, they can. They. You guys can all use the guns we've already made from the Vietnam War, but. Any new tech is going right into OMAX suits. That's our that's our big investment.
Matt (35:30.355)
I just have to clarify here, this is a world that acknowledges the existence of the Flash. Superman.
Luciano (35:37.839)
It has Batman, is it? In it? Yeah.
Spencer (35:39.003)
Superman, yep, Batman.
Matt (35:40.95)
Batman. And so there's like, you know, we don't need anything other than bullets and like semi-automatic machine guns. AR-15s, if you will.
Spencer (35:47.427)
No, they're they need we need what we need is OMAX and we're putting all our money into that boat
Chris (35:54.055)
So you guys are just a holdover, Squadron 3, and if anything happens, just know, your life insurance is shit.
Spencer (35:55.779)
Yeah, we're just, you're your placeholder.
Spencer (36:03.585)
Yeah, we're.
Matt (36:03.65)
So you're saying that technology exists, but they willingly did not use it because they didn't actually wanna keep the OMAC safe.
Spencer (36:12.503)
It was either invest in the OMAX or invest in keeping the OMAX safe. You can't invest in both. It's a finite. We got a five minute amount of dollars here.
Chris (36:13.011)
He thought it'd be alright.
Chris (36:18.291)
Hmm.
Chris (36:21.363)
Resource? Nyeh.
Matt (36:23.31)
Okay, what about just, okay Spencer, I'll give you that. What if, you know the helicopter that Victoria flew around in? What if we just made two more of those so they could fly them around the island and see shit coming?
Spencer (36:24.227)
We're putting it all into OMAX.
Luciano (36:26.011)
Uh-huh.
Spencer (36:29.966)
Yep.
Luciano (36:31.217)
Yeah.
Spencer (36:33.915)
Do you know how many OMAX we'd lose if we did that? One.
Luciano (36:38.904)
How about they fly just that one? How about they fly just the one that they had around the island?
Matt (36:39.386)
They had thousands already made.
Chris (36:42.463)
That takes a lot of money.
Matt (36:45.034)
Yeah, let him take out for a spin.
Spencer (36:47.407)
You know how much gas costs?
The gas that powers that super helicopter. You know, in this economy, we could be building a quarter of an OMAC with some of that money.
Chris (36:51.485)
These days...
Matt (36:54.044)
And this is Galway.
Luciano (36:55.228)
No, wait, a lot of people don't know. A lot of people don't know, but Spencer's last name is Cord.
Spencer (37:04.192)
And I just think you guys should invest today is what I'm trying to say. Just give me a short 50 to 60 minutes to explain why this is just smart investment and you will not regret it.
Matt (37:04.44)
Hahaha.
Luciano (37:09.471)
Yeah.
Luciano (37:13.745)
Ha ha
Matt (37:17.066)
Is this a timeshare presentation?
Chris (37:20.883)
He brought his deck. Let the man pitch.
Spencer (37:21.)
How many how many OMAX can I put you down for? 1000? 2000? 10,000 7,000 okay, we'll do that. It's just 7,000 got it
Luciano (37:21.065)
Yeah.
Matt (37:22.83)
Hehehe
Luciano (37:23.588)
Yeah, it's for time sharing the keys.
Chris (37:29.043)
I'll take seven.
No, just seven. That's my checking and save. Can I take, can I get seven Omak boots?
Spencer (37:39.702)
700,000 Oman foods.
Luciano (37:41.305)
Just the left boot of every omeg. I also...
Matt (37:44.926)
I'm not sure if you watch this presentation, the OMAC doesn't need a boot per se to work. Yeah, okay great.
Chris (37:45.171)
Uhhh
Spencer (37:50.539)
Yeah, yeah. No, don't worry. Just inject it into your brain. It'll it'll create a boot if you need a boot.
Chris (37:55.743)
Mmmm
Spencer (37:57.399)
Now just give me your brain hole.
Matt (38:00.142)
Hahaha
Luciano (38:00.209)
It's also a very pleasant process to install the, yeah.
Chris (38:03.455)
Mm-hmm. All I want to do is just really crush my hiking goals. So I think OMAC boots.
Spencer (38:03.627)
It's a pleasant process.
Spencer (38:08.771)
That's fine. Just turn over, bend over and show me your brain hole. And we'll be good to go.
Matt (38:11.362)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (38:12.373)
Hahaha!
Chris (38:12.447)
Okay, okay, I'm having second thoughts. I'm getting cold feet. Okay.
Matt (38:18.466)
We'll come back to you. Don't worry. It's fine.
Luciano (38:19.551)
No, the whole map can solve that too.
Spencer (38:20.953)
Well, don't... Yeah, don't worry, you won't even feel your feet with the omac. Some might say you're dead.
Matt (38:23.502)
Hehehehehehe
Chris (38:25.433)
Okay, you're reeling me back you're reeling me back
Luciano (38:27.157)
You won't even feel a lot of things with your mouth.
Luciano (38:32.476)
Hahaha!
Matt (38:32.782)
Chris, are you being hard sold the OMAC? I just want to let everybody know that the city from Blade Runner is called Los Angeles. I don't know if you've heard of that place. Right, crazy. Movies, how do they work?
Luciano (38:40.88)
Oh, is it? Is it Los Angeles? Yeah.
Spencer (38:42.741)
What a wild world. What a wild fiction. That Los Angeles.
Luciano (38:48.64)
I see you within this with a Spanish name. Come on.
Matt (38:51.75)
Crazy. It's all just tied together.
Spencer (38:52.525)
Come on, what is this, Blue Beetle?
Chris (38:57.599)
Mm. Mm, mm, mm.
Matt (38:58.474)
Okay, so Spencer believes that no technology exists because the Cord Institute needed to spend all their money on OMACs, which I mean the evidence is there. We see all the OMACs on the island that has no relation to anybody else. It's just an island on the island off the coast of Cuba.
Spencer (39:14.639)
Just stockpiling, just stockpiling baby.
Chris (39:23.495)
Victoria Cord has investments in other ventures, one of them being OMAC Daddy Dick Replacement.
Luciano (39:33.116)
The fuck?
Chris (39:34.895)
You okay? So, Oh Mac Daddy Dicks, so they started miniature with dick replacements, right? Mechanized dick replacements.
Spencer (39:35.9)
of Oh, Mac Daddy Dicks.
Matt (39:42.882)
Sorry, when you say miniature, was it like a mini penis? Ha ha ha.
Spencer (39:44.835)
Yeah, why would I want my dick replacement to be miniature? You just lost yourself a salesman.
Chris (39:48.967)
Because no, you didn't even let me finish my presentation. The miniaturized OMAC Daddy Dick, there you go. The miniature OMAC Daddy Dick comes with a masseuse feature. It comes with, yeah, well, no, it's a masseuse feature. OK, it's still in development. And then it also comes with AI grammarly capability. So if you want to rewrite your presentation or rewrite
Spencer (39:54.801)
Anzip
Luciano (40:03.512)
A miniature masseuse?
Luciano (40:08.499)
Okay.
Chris (40:19.092)
your memos at your place of business, sweep out your OMAC daddy dick, and you'll be able to get the visibility and transparency and buy-in from your stakeholders that you so desperately need.
Matt (40:19.214)
Thanks for watching!
Spencer (40:31.311)
Does it have tap?
Luciano (40:32.761)
I feel like Chris became sort of like the chat GPT idea of what an ad on YouTube is.
Chris (40:33.892)
It does.
Matt (40:40.146)
I'm concerned because I think Chris is aiding and abetting corporate sexual harassment.
Luciano (40:41.523)
I'm out.
Spencer (40:47.235)
Yeah that's it. You have a case there. Now.
Chris (40:49.803)
Just because I accept checks that come in the mail every now and then doesn't mean... Doesn't mean... Okay.
Spencer (40:53.866)
I'm bought and paid for.
Luciano (40:54.101)
Hahaha!
Matt (40:55.894)
You called it a dick and you said to whip it out for your colleagues.
Spencer (40:59.035)
Hehehehe
Chris (40:59.447)
Listen, listen, listen. This workplace creates a lot of stress.
Luciano (41:00.163)
And it does a massage apparently.
Matt (41:02.789)
I'm sure it does.
Luciano (41:03.771)
Hahaha
Spencer (41:03.833)
All right. All you gotta do is show me your dick hole. We're going to install it.
Matt (41:06.058)
You seem so stressed.
Chris (41:08.751)
I'm not stressed! All my fin- all- everything I need is- is fully taken care of. I'm not stressed.
Luciano (41:09.923)
Yeah, I'm gonna
Matt (41:13.538)
Carapax, you seem stressed. Come over here.
Luciano (41:15.675)
Yeah, let me use my old Mac daddy dick on your brain hole.
Chris (41:17.339)
I don't know if I want to care. Oh my gosh. I'm so glad you get it now. Woo.
Spencer (41:22.76)
No, that's the that's the omac installer dick
Luciano (41:25.595)
Hahaha.
Matt (41:28.158)
All right, well, you know, what do we have any, how, what's the word we should use here? Realistic reasons why technology is fucked up in this world.
Chris (41:34.067)
Let it happen.
Spencer (41:36.214)
Answers?
Luciano (41:36.295)
Thanks.
Spencer (41:40.379)
Well, it seems like all technology in this movie is somewhat based on Blue Beetle. Is that safe to say?
Luciano (41:48.495)
I mean, it looks like the chord tech is right. Cause he says he like, they explain it that he, that Ted court studied, right?
Spencer (41:57.187)
Yeah, because I noticed that like he had that she had that glove that made a replica hand. The blue lantern glove. Power glove. Yeah, the power. It was like straight up a power glove. That was like blue beetle tech, right? It was similar to the way he can construct things with his. Hands and mind, I guess.
Luciano (42:02.519)
Oh, the blue lantern glove? The Nintendo, the blue lantern Nintendo power glove? Yeah.
Chris (42:07.795)
There you go. Put it up, put it together. Mm-hmm.
Chris (42:14.823)
Yeah.
Luciano (42:19.699)
Actually, it was, yeah, it was, it looked like hard light, like what the lanterns do, like the rings do, right?
Chris (42:19.996)
Yes.
Chris (42:24.199)
Yeah. Yep.
Spencer (42:26.207)
Yeah, it did look like that, but it was like, like the way that the beetle can construct weapons. I figured that was like similar and it happened to be blue. Right as well. So
Luciano (42:31.237)
Right.
Luciano (42:36.975)
Well, that's so you know that it's from the good guys. That's why it's blue.
Spencer (42:40.883)
That's true.
Chris (42:42.335)
True.
Matt (42:42.482)
Even Uncle Rudy is like, really? A blue Tacoma?
Luciano (42:44.628)
Yeah.
Spencer (42:45.515)
Yeah, a little on the nose. But so all the reason why the text of wonky is because it's all influenced by this blue beetle, which everybody has had access to at some point, it seems.
Luciano (42:58.427)
But it only stayed in Palmera City. Nowhere else did they have access to this.
Chris (43:04.551)
Well, I thought it was out in the desert.
Luciano (43:05.499)
Cord, the Cord Industries are a multinational company that only deals at Palmeira City.
Matt (43:06.008)
There you have it.
Spencer (43:12.715)
Only deals out of Florida. Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Chris (43:14.835)
Well, at the se-
Matt (43:14.99)
I think.
Luciano (43:15.383)
No, it's not Florida. It's the keys and Palmera City. It's nothing to do with Florida except for everything Yeah
Matt (43:20.098)
Florida doesn't exist, sir.
Spencer (43:25.421)
the corporate center of America.
Luciano (43:27.959)
Yeah, Orlando.
Spencer (43:29.871)
the beach, the beach of the keys, the industrial complex.
Luciano (43:33.127)
Hahaha
Chris (43:34.067)
Well...
Under Victoria Cordes watched their military tech division, they got kind of far. She just had to make her choices, which is what our previous discussion was about. So that was more destructive. And then I guess Ted Cordes' vision was more defensive and disarmed.
Luciano (43:57.447)
So you're saying that the reason why technology is wonky is because like, Victoria had a single focus and everything else went to shit.
Spencer (44:04.888)
And you're saying.
Chris (44:05.011)
Single focus and not enough vision. Like she could only get care packs so far. And then.
Spencer (44:11.075)
And you're saying Ted Kord's a socialist.
Luciano (44:11.087)
Right, and she didn't care about things like radars to protect her secret island or, okay.
Chris (44:16.175)
Right. It's like you put all your XP into one skill tree and you neglect all the others.
Luciano (44:20.35)
Hahaha, yeah.
Spencer (44:22.071)
Well, why would you need radar for your secret island? Nobody knows about it, it's secret.
Matt (44:26.434)
Well then why do you need soldiers on your secret island? Like pick what you want, right?
Chris (44:26.895)
Anything is possible. Exactly.
Luciano (44:28.555)
Yeah.
Spencer (44:32.034)
Well, those soldiers have families of feed. You gotta give them some work.
Matt (44:35.478)
There's a perfectly good parking lot waiting for them in Palo Mara City to work at.
Spencer (44:39.988)
that they can pay to work for. Yeah, I heard they're great.
Chris (44:40.511)
Dull soldiers.
Luciano (44:41.675)
The Conquista parking lot.
Matt (44:44.501)
I heard from a friend, I don't know how I got there.
Chris (44:48.239)
If those soldiers were unnecessary, then they could have been at Ted Kord corporate, and then Jaime never would have gotten out.
Spencer (44:57.147)
Was Ted Kord's bass a secret bass?
Chris (45:00.371)
Yeah.
Matt (45:00.638)
Yes. Because they had the... I don't know. You didn't say you fell asleep during this part, but it seemed like you did. Because they had to go back to the cord building that still had no security after it was broken into and things were stolen from it. And they walked in and were able to grab that watch that was like a sensor trigger to open up the stairwell at the mansion. They did.
Luciano (45:00.953)
Yeah.
Luciano (45:17.187)
Yeah, which looked like looked like a fucking Tamagotchi.
Chris (45:21.007)
And it was like, it was in the front lobby of Cord Industries? What's up with that?
Luciano (45:23.383)
Yeah, it was, it was, she walked into the like the under reception area and she.
Matt (45:24.778)
I think so? That also- I don't know if-
Spencer (45:25.795)
Wasn't there like a little snack there too?
Chris (45:29.959)
The key, we gotta get the key. And the key is on the front, goddamn, go ahead.
Luciano (45:32.239)
Yeah. And then she blocked behind the lock that she locked, picked with paper clips. And she picked it up and it looks like a Tamagotchi and the fucking thing opens everything on her, on her like abandoned mansion.
Matt (45:39.906)
Correct.
Spencer (45:46.883)
Guys, there's no crime in the keys. That's why they just everybody just trust everybody. You have to worry. You can leave the door open.
Luciano (45:50.823)
Oh no. Right.
Chris (45:53.723)
The island's not in the keys. That was-
Matt (45:57.29)
Yep, we're talking about Palmeira, not the keys.
Spencer (45:59.247)
Palmeiras too, it's the same. It's like a hippie country.
Luciano (46:03.291)
The opposite of Gotham, whatever that is.
Spencer (46:05.269)
Yeah.
They love thy neighbor over there.
Luciano (46:09.726)
Chris is Palmeira City actually a thing in Blue Beetle?
Chris (46:09.819)
I hate it.
Chris (46:14.735)
I did read the comics, but it was a very, very long time ago. I don't recall. I could quickly Google.
Luciano (46:18.995)
Okay, I I've never read anything about Blue Beetle, so I don't know
Spencer (46:23.863)
Yeah, it was kind of fun watching a comic book movie that I didn't know like everything about. And I wasn't like getting annoyed when something slightly changed, like I could enjoy like a normal person. But I was also like, I was also frustrated, I was frustrated like a like a regular person where I'm like, so many things that I don't understand.
Luciano (46:27.349)
Yeah, same, same.
Luciano (46:32.725)
Yeah
Chris (46:33.543)
Like when I first, go ahead.
Matt (46:34.064)
So I did a quick Google.
Luciano (46:40.807)
Hahaha!
Matt (46:43.11)
Spencer, I did a little Google and just to destroy your whimsy. Palmera City is a city located in Texas, allegedly. No, it's in DC. Yeah, it's in Texas. Yeah.
Spencer (46:54.363)
It's a real city?
Luciano (46:55.31)
Oh, it's in Texas?
Spencer (46:58.456)
Oh, you're saying in the movie there in Texas? That's not Texas.
Luciano (47:02.307)
Yeah, that's Florida. Very clearly. There's the fucking keys.
Matt (47:05.646)
I'm sorry.
I mean, there could be a Keys in Texas.
Spencer (47:11.231)
In Texas, they would all be shot.
Luciano (47:11.419)
Well, their house, to be fair, their house is in El Paso Street, because of course it is.
Spencer (47:17.922)
Oh.
Matt (47:18.899)
Eh?
Chris (47:20.763)
Tech is pretty alive and well in Dallas and Texas, like IRL.
Luciano (47:24.771)
Yeah, yeah, it is. It's just, it's just the vibe of the whole place doesn't scream Texas to me.
Matt (47:27.286)
Uh...
Chris (47:29.464)
Yeah, it struck me as that too.
Matt (47:30.371)
I think the city you're looking for, Chris, is Austin. Yeah, that's the Tech Hub.
Chris (47:33.748)
Thank you.
Luciano (47:34.243)
Yeah, I wish they had picked like, instead of Susan Sarandum, like Reba McIntyre to be the evil. That would be more Texas. That'd be more Texas.
Chris (47:41.591)
Oh my god. Oh, that would have stung so, so much.
Spencer (47:45.368)
Why would you do this, you silly little bars?
Luciano (47:48.387)
Yeah, exactly. That would be amazing.
Chris (47:50.451)
Reba used to ha- Reba's done some acting. It probably would have been more forgiverable.
Luciano (47:53.665)
She does share the whole...
Spencer (47:54.724)
Yeah, the fucking Reba sitcom motherfucker
Luciano (47:57.343)
Yeah, it was funny too. It was cringe as fuck but-
Chris (47:57.424)
Yeah.
Matt (47:59.81)
So we're done with the technology talk is what's happening right now. We've cycled off it.
Spencer (48:01.167)
Yeah, yeah. We're on to Rebo, okay?
Chris (48:02.555)
Now we're on Reba.
Luciano (48:03.971)
What we're saying is that if Reba McEntire was involved with this, the tech would have made sense is what I'm saying.
Matt (48:09.738)
Right. Okay.
Spencer (48:11.331)
And if Reba played her card right, she could have had a hit movie on her hands. That's more important. Not this one, just another one. Cause we know, cause we see her talent.
Luciano (48:11.396)
Next one.
Luciano (48:18.275)
Not this one, I mean, but another one.
Chris (48:21.703)
a spin-off, a spin-off Reba Court.
Matt (48:27.51)
No.
Spencer (48:29.056)
No, not that.
Chris (48:29.593)
Dude.
Matt (48:30.882)
Just, just, just now.
Spencer (48:31.739)
Hehehehe
Luciano (48:32.54)
Do you think that like they asked, they told Susan Sarandon, hey, this movie you said in Texas, can you try a Texas accent? And she was like, you're not paying me enough. I'm just gonna do my own accent.
Spencer (48:42.223)
They didn't even pay her enough to do an acting human accent.
Chris (48:44.147)
Did she actually?
Luciano (48:47.524)
Yeah, exactly.
Matt (48:48.302)
Hehe
Chris (48:48.935)
They said, I'll be in your, they asked her a question. She's like, I'll be in your movie. And they're like.
Luciano (48:53.119)
Yeah, yeah, it left it at that. Yeah. How much are you paying? I'll show up. Yeah.
Chris (49:00.923)
Right, right. And then.
Spencer (49:01.935)
Damn it, they took my beetle. Wait, let me do that take again. Damn it, they took my beetle. All right, one more time. Damn it, they took my beetle.
Luciano (49:09.539)
Hahaha
Chris (49:10.799)
Let's try another line. Let's try another line, Susan. Let's try another line.
Spencer (49:14.539)
Okay, okay. Damn it.
Luciano (49:16.743)
Oh Jennifer, what a mess you've made. Okay, but not...
Spencer (49:19.847)
Oh Jenny, I really thought you'd go far.
Matt (49:20.436)
Heheheheh
Chris (49:25.107)
Oh, I felt that one. Now, what about the one here? Like, let me tell you, but let's move to another scene. Here's another one. Chew on this. The scarab chose you, but you see, it belongs to me.
Spencer (49:30.188)
Okay, okay.
Spencer (49:35.578)
Okay.
Luciano (49:37.208)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't keep hearing you. My catering time is up. I'm gonna go eat. Bye
Chris (49:42.411)
Ah, ah, ah. Okay, we'll come back, we'll circle back to that.
Spencer (49:44.375)
That's that's that and that and that and that's my time. That's an hour.
Luciano (49:47.111)
Hahaha
Chris (49:51.485)
Heheheheheheheheh
Matt (49:52.17)
That's the most accurate portrayal of all.
Luciano (49:53.007)
just acting, acting with like a timer running on.
Spencer (49:53.487)
That's...
Matt (49:58.062)
This is acting. Um, now it's fine. Alright. We're gonna move on from the technology talk. What are you doing here? We're moving on from the technology talk. Does this have anything to do with technology used in this movie? Or...
Spencer (49:58.971)
It's like the end of a therapy session. And that's gonna be time.
Luciano (50:03.863)
I was also surprised by like...
Spencer (50:06.763)
Let it move on, you sack of wine!
Chris (50:07.665)
Hehehe
Luciano (50:08.64)
No, I don't want to. Okay.
Yeah, I was going to say that I was surprised that Rudy was just instantly able. Rudy and Jaime's mom were just instantly able to fly the thing, have never seen it before in their lives.
Spencer (50:13.203)
or Reba McIntyre.
Chris (50:20.755)
Mommy?
Spencer (50:24.598)
Oh yes!
Chris (50:25.727)
True, and the answer to that is fantastic experience design. Like, Jaime's mom was angry and they're like, oh no, we have to get out of this thing and she just put her hand down and the throttle was there. I was like, that's kind of like a car.
Luciano (50:32.08)
Are you saying?
Luciano (50:38.355)
Chris, are you saying that the key here for them to be able to do what they did is good UX? Is that what you're saying?
Chris (50:44.923)
Yes, I am saying that. I am saying that. Great UX.
Matt (50:47.378)
I would just... I want to expand on this. If planes had better UX, any one of us could fly a plane.
Spencer (50:48.146)
Damn good answer.
Chris (50:54.923)
I wouldn't agree actually. Why do we need all these buttons? Up, down, speed, calms, brakes, level it out, in cabin pressure, comfortable, safe. You're gonna die.
Spencer (50:56.586)
I think...
Luciano (50:56.643)
Of course you would, of course you would! Why would you ask him that? You knew what the answer was? Yeah, on, off, forward, backwards, is that what you want?
Spencer (51:00.619)
Yeah, speed? No speed?
Spencer (51:14.691)
No, you already have too many buttons. I liked what you, I liked, no, it's too much. I like to put it simple. Up, down, break, go. Lift off, crash.
Matt (51:16.558)
That's you. Yeah.
Chris (51:16.987)
No, those are not buttons. These are all touch panels and you're just reading the information.
Chris (51:24.751)
Hehehe
Luciano (51:25.771)
Fly, fly crash, yeah.
Matt (51:29.44)
When we crash, that's a little too on the nose, just no fly.
Chris (51:31.715)
No, you wouldn't want that. No flights. Like, you know what? Listen, listen, listen. Doop, doop, doop. Ladies and gentlemen.
Luciano (51:32.723)
No fly, fly no fly. And just the no disappears from the sign.
Spencer (51:33.237)
Fly, no fly.
Matt (51:36.83)
I'm not sure.
Chris (51:41.791)
This is your captain speaking. Uh, I have a previous engagement, so I'm just going to hit the old no fly button and I'm just going to exit out the, uh, out, out the cabin with my, uh, with my parachute. Don't worry. Snacks were never included. Uh, take care.
Luciano (51:48.966)
Hahaha!
Matt (52:00.362)
You all had your choice in airlines and looks like you chose the wrong one today.
Spencer (52:03.707)
We chose poorly we're about to start About to begin our no-fly Please put your seat belts
Luciano (52:03.712)
You chose CORD Airlines. Hehehehe
Chris (52:10.276)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (52:11.6)
Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the no-fly light, please die. Put your trays in the upright position and pray.
Chris (52:15.579)
And the captain has exited the plane mid-flight.
Spencer (52:18.921)
Please put on your loose rope. We're beginning to our descent.
Matt (52:22.064)
Yeah.
Chris (52:22.325)
Hahaha
Chris (52:27.259)
If you have them.
Matt (52:29.262)
Put on your safety rope, if you don't have one, one will be provided.
Spencer (52:30.872)
Hehe hehehe
Luciano (52:36.454)
Yeah.
Chris (52:36.671)
I think we have a new venture on our hands. I think we need to launch Victoria Cord Air, budget airlines, but budget airlines, but the airlines.
Spencer (52:39.599)
budget airlines.
Luciano (52:43.115)
Yep.
Luciano (52:47.591)
So we launch our planes from a sling.
Matt (52:50.486)
Alright, so I'm going to go and transition to the thing I wanted to now that we've... We're good? We're finished? Uh... That's... I'm not sure, but we'll let the audience decide. Fun questions! Somehow we're going to get worse, not better from here on out. If you liked the movie, good for you. We will do a review, but for now we're going to ask questions and make fun of it. Uh... Question number one. Uh... How would you want the blue scarab to enter you?
Chris (52:50.771)
Hehehehe
Luciano (52:53.019)
There you go. Yeah, sure. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (52:54.827)
It was worth it for that, whatever that was.
Chris (52:56.807)
It's happened.
Spencer (53:17.027)
Hehehehe
Chris (53:17.256)
Hot potato! Whew! Okay.
Luciano (53:18.839)
Wow, it's coming in strong. I guess exactly how I would like the Beatle to come in strong.
Spencer (53:20.515)
Coming in hot.
Matt (53:21.326)
I just... just a casual question.
Chris (53:23.871)
Coming in and going in. Yeah.
Chris (53:29.89)
Okay.
Matt (53:30.178)
Fair enough. Answer the question, you cowards.
Luciano (53:31.914)
Hahaha!
Spencer (53:32.831)
I wanted to bone my brain hole.
Luciano (53:36.239)
I mean, so I think that's the canon way.
Chris (53:36.888)
Okay.
Spencer (53:38.819)
Does it, just to be clear, they don't actually show how it gets into them.
Matt (53:43.798)
They do not. It's heavily implied it was the butthole.
Chris (53:43.875)
It kinda did, but not... Yeah. Yeah, it went, it went, he was, he was bent over, his back was facing us, and that blue dot went straight down. Downtown.
Luciano (53:43.959)
No. Yes. Yeah.
Spencer (53:47.875)
It was the bottle. Is that cannon?
Matt (53:49.718)
It was implied heavily.
and went down. Yeah. Ha ha ha.
Luciano (53:54.915)
Yeah, because he was like, he was like, he was stuck in his face, like alien style. And then it started going to his back. And then he just went goes down his back and disappears. And we're supposed to believe no, it's the back is the base of the spine. No, it's the ass. Come on. We all know this.
Spencer (54:01.402)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (54:11.663)
If it went in his ass, why didn't he go, uh? Ha ha ha.
Chris (54:14.207)
UGH! Alright, that's a good question. The movie, the rating for this movie I believe was P... No, it was P... Orn-
Luciano (54:19.679)
P.G. Yeah.
Luciano (54:24.463)
No it wasn't. Danny would have heard the UHH!
Matt (54:25.898)
Zero point and may God have mercy on your soul.
Chris (54:26.216)
I know. I know.
Spencer (54:26.703)
zero points. No, but realistically, I think I would probably want it to go through my mouth hole. Is that the?
Luciano (54:29.82)
hahahaha
Luciano (54:35.683)
I was going to say, he was right there on his face, right? Like alien style, just do it that way.
Chris (54:37.072)
Asothogist?
Spencer (54:42.104)
I feel like it could have fused through his skin though.
Chris (54:45.627)
Yes, and my answer would be like, I would want it to break apart into like tiny nanites and just go through all the orifices.
Spencer (54:54.423)
I wouldn't mind all of the orbs is okay. If honestly.
Luciano (54:55.006)
Hahaha!
Matt (54:57.052)
Not all of them. Your pee hole, your eye sockets.
Chris (55:01.583)
If it's tiny, if it's nani-nights, then that's nanny. Then like, that's nana.
Spencer (55:03.611)
Mm.
Matt (55:04.427)
Oh, right, well, if it's nanites, who cares how it gets in there? It just shows up one day.
Spencer (55:08.239)
Like I don't mind it if it went in through the old butthole, but it's going to buy me dinner first. It's got, I gotta get to know it. I got to.
Luciano (55:16.584)
I like the idea of, oh if it's nanites it just shows up one day, as nanites do apparently.
Chris (55:23.903)
I prefer to have it happen before I eat because I don't want it to upset my stomach. So that would be nice. And it looks like it kind of, that maybe happened for Jaime. He got home, but he changed clothes. So he could have had dinner. It's shaky.
Matt (55:31.575)
Here's.
Matt (55:37.705)
Here's why the butthole is the correct answer.
Spencer (55:41.271)
listening. Let them cook. Let them cook.
Chris (55:42.171)
What is happening?
Luciano (55:44.22)
Sentences I never thought I would hear.
Matt (55:45.941)
Let me finish.
I think I would rather have the discomfort of it going through the butthole up to my back than through my mouth hole down through and out the back to get to the back. The problem is it has to get through your body to the back.
Spencer (56:07.419)
I feel like no matter what, it's gonna be getting through some sort of tract or lining of some kind.
Luciano (56:11.875)
Yeah, also you like, you know
Chris (56:12.692)
You're in to.
Matt (56:13.942)
I don't want to feel it crawling down my throat and... Yes. Yeah, that's correct.
Luciano (56:16.811)
Are you rather feeling crawling up your butt?
Spencer (56:16.883)
rip crawling up your ass. That's much better. Maybe tickles a prostate on its way up, you know, take away your free rain down there.
Chris (56:22.867)
But it's-
Matt (56:25.6)
That's fine, tickle away.
Luciano (56:27.614)
Ha ha
Chris (56:29.467)
It's counterintuitive because once it was fully, once it was inside his body and fusing to his spine, once it was emanating from him, then it kind of looked like the kind of nanotech we were sort of used to seeing in sci-fi. So I wonder why it wouldn't approach that. Why wouldn't it just, but like break down? Like it, I don't know. Maybe it's just part of its process.
Luciano (56:44.871)
Just go to the back. Just go to the back and get into it. Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (56:52.335)
Yeah, it needs to send a message when it joins.
Matt (56:53.262)
Chris, you had a half an hour to talk about the technology in this movie. You can't ask why I didn't break into nanites now. You missed your chance. You guys wanted to talk about airplanes and fucking falling from the sky, flying, no fly buttons. You missed your chance to talk about nanites.
Luciano (56:55.335)
Yeah.
Spencer (56:59.1)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (57:01.062)
Hahaha!
Chris (57:07.539)
Sea bird, sea bird.
Spencer (57:09.163)
No, I think it goes through the butt to send a message. It's like a domination. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like I'm in charge.
Luciano (57:09.893)
I mean...
Matt (57:14.178)
Yeah
Chris (57:14.463)
But it's like yo ass is mine!
Luciano (57:16.537)
It's establishing a packing order is what you're saying. Yeah, okay.
Matt (57:19.82)
But it wants to be a symbiote. What's the, I'm here to pleasure you, don't worry. Is that the message you're sending?
Spencer (57:21.636)
Yeah.
Chris (57:24.231)
How to come back? Yeah, how do you come back from that?
Spencer (57:25.037)
Now it's like we're getting-
Luciano (57:25.807)
Yeah, it's sort of like a veiled threat. It's like I'm going up your butt nicely, but I could go not nicely. That's what it's saying.
Spencer (57:32.695)
No, it's more like, we gon' be in a relationship, but first you be the spreadin' them cheeks.
Chris (57:38.403)
Mmm, them butternil biscuits.
Luciano (57:38.427)
Hahaha
Spencer (57:39.831)
send said lemon. Let me show you how it's gonna be. Let me see if we can make it work.
Luciano (57:42.13)
Hahaha
Matt (57:46.758)
Where does the Big Mac sauce come into this scenario?
Spencer (57:48.459)
The Big Mac sauce? Oh, it's coming. Don't you'll know when the Big Mac sauce comes. OK, you know, the Big Mac sauce here. OK. Oh, God.
Luciano (57:50.195)
Big sauce comes out after the If there if there's Big Mac sauce coming out this absorption wasn't perfect. That's
Matt (57:56.142)
Hmm.
Matt (58:00.438)
Moving on! Let's talk about the OMAC for a few minutes. The OMAC looks absolutely terrifying. Worse than the conversation we just had about the Blue Beetle getting into my body. But, if you're going to sell this, Victoria didn't really sell it to that one general. I'm concerned about her sales ability. So I think we need to bring in an expert on selling military hardware. Justin Hammer. How would Justin Hammer pitch the OMAC to the military?
Spencer (58:01.175)
Thank you.
Chris (58:02.655)
Thank you.
Luciano (58:11.523)
Is it?
Chris (58:11.807)
Correct.
Luciano (58:25.244)
Yeah
Spencer (58:29.143)
Okay. First, Q-Funk music. Boom, bop-da-doom. Yep, thank you. Moonwalking, twists, ensues. Little bit of the point of the sky, point of the ground, whatever that move's called. Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Fever.
Chris (58:34.035)
Think think
Luciano (58:50.617)
He would have a jacket with Omak written in the back. Yeah. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (58:52.523)
Yeah, oh, Mac, it would say, Oh, my, a creation. That's what it would stand for. And then he would say, Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you the next generation of fumigation, the greatest iteration of military technology.
Chris (59:08.179)
Ding ding
Chris (59:15.263)
Lill
Spencer (59:15.851)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Oh My God Mac presented by Hammer Industries. No longer do your soldiers have a mind of their own. They do what you want. They say what you want. They do what is needed. HammerTech come into a military complex near you. Just stick it in the old brain hole and you've got their soul. Bidding starts at 10 million.
Chris (59:20.465)
Ding ding!
Chris (59:31.071)
Mmm.
Chris (59:40.543)
BWAH HEH HEH!
Spencer (59:43.391)
Mr. Roger Stone with the first bit.
Luciano (59:47.923)
Jesus! I feel like stick them in their brain hole and you have their soul is something Justin Hammer would actually say.
Spencer (59:48.794)
Hehehe
Matt (59:53.218)
Okay.
Spencer (59:58.102)
Yeah, yeah
Chris (59:59.123)
Oh my God. It's gotta be catchy. You gotta deliver it.
Matt (01:00:00.214)
It's a terrifying tagline, but it is catchy as shit. You are correct, Chris.
Luciano (01:00:02.341)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:00:05.107)
I think that's what does it. I think they use the fact that it takes over their brain as a selling feature. It's not a bug, it's a feature.
Matt (01:00:07.457)
And it
Luciano (01:00:13.251)
Even though it looks like a bug. Yeah. Looks like a bug, but it's a feature. He would say that too. I feel like he would lean into it, man. Like he wouldn't just say, Oh, it's going to be horrific for your soldiers. It's going to be no, this is, this is going to make them stronger. In their brain holes.
Spencer (01:00:14.275)
It just looks like a bug.
Chris (01:00:16.362)
Mm-hmm strikes fear
Chris (01:00:20.776)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:00:31.01)
Wow.
Chris (01:00:32.347)
And who needs free will? Enter through the brain hole, and then you've got compliance for show.
Spencer (01:00:33.591)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:00:40.527)
kill send 50 soldiers and 30 come back alive 20 dead you send one omak sure he's brain dead that's only one dead
Luciano (01:00:51.879)
Hahaha
Chris (01:00:52.179)
brain dead and it comes back alive.
Matt (01:00:53.27)
Hey, hey, hey guys, you made the sale, stop selling.
Spencer (01:00:56.763)
Oh, okay. How many can I put you down for? 100,000? 200,000? OMAX?
Chris (01:00:59.071)
This is the point. Let's get the checkbooks out. Listen, we got competitive. No, it's getting better, baby. It's getting hot, like hot buttermilk biscuits. We got four, let me get four. Let me get five, I see five. Five, let me see what I got. That's right. You're flying off the shelves, bro.
Matt (01:01:03.635)
It's getting worse by the minute. No, no.
Luciano (01:01:11.109)
It's an auction though, like an actual auction.
Matt (01:01:14.318)
I don't... Moving on! No, we're not talking about Putin. Not in this fucking podcast. No fucking way. Moving on! The studio is dead set on a prequel movie and we're gonna focus on Nana. I wanna know about Nana's past. What's the overall plot for Nana's prequel movie? Feel free to use as little plot as this movie did just to speed this question along.
Spencer (01:01:15.025)
Vladimir Putin with the two million dollar bid.
Luciano (01:01:19.641)
Hahahaha!
Luciano (01:01:27.856)
As we should.
Chris (01:01:28.859)
Ho ho!
Luciano (01:01:41.375)
Hmm.
Spencer (01:01:43.159)
You fought in the war, right Nana? World War II? Yes? She's really old. For the Allies, right? Uh... For the Allies, right Grandma? Uh... Revolution!
Luciano (01:01:47.867)
What?
Luciano (01:01:53.427)
Sure!
Matt (01:01:56.27)
Come again.
Chris (01:01:56.565)
Yes, meme it up.
Luciano (01:01:59.699)
I was gonna go, well, when I fought for Franco in Spain, but that might be... Ha ha ha.
Matt (01:02:04.942)
I just I just want all of you to know that this movie is in 2024 There's no fucking way Nana would be able to live if she fought for fucking Franco or Hitler
Spencer (01:02:12.355)
I'm 120 years old!
Luciano (01:02:14.159)
What do you mean she's not 180 years old? Is that what you're saying?
Spencer (01:02:17.287)
Okay. No, okay. Listen, this is- this- Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and start the video. I'm going to go ahead and start the video.
Matt (01:02:17.782)
You know what, it's fine. I shouldn't, it's a yes and podcast. It's a yes and podcast. I'm not gonna say no, but what I'm gonna say is you need to tell me how she's still alive right now. That's all I wanna know.
Chris (01:02:19.711)
She's a spry 180.
Luciano (01:02:22.867)
That's spry, that's spry 108. It's Beat-o-Tech.
Spencer (01:02:27.755)
No, no, we got it. This is a no, this is a DC. We can, it's all fictional. She fought for the Javieros army against the... Javieros? Why, I'm just making up a name. You come up with a Spanish name.
Matt (01:02:30.914)
Fuck you.
Matt (01:02:39.318)
That sounds real racist, bro.
Luciano (01:02:40.802)
Yeah.
I'll allow it.
Matt (01:02:44.514)
Ha ha
Matt (01:02:49.506)
Conquista Harmy, obviously.
Spencer (01:02:50.783)
Okay, well that's the bad guys. The canquista. She liberated the Javieros from the canquisteros.
Luciano (01:02:51.235)
There you go. Oh wow.
Matt (01:02:53.862)
Okay, fair.
Luciano (01:02:58.95)
Now it's racist.
Spencer (01:03:03.036)
Sure, small town of 50 people, they grew grain and they had a grain trade agreement, which they worked on for months. And the man came with a cane and killed the leader of the Javieros.
Matt (01:03:10.754)
Don't you rebel moon this shit. Do not! Hehehehe
Luciano (01:03:12.318)
No, no, don't you ever moon this shit. Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:03:13.232)
Yeah
Luciano (01:03:22.339)
The team, yeah.
Which was, yeah, it was, no, yeah, I like this, it was her husband. Her husband was the leader of the Javieros.
Chris (01:03:26.591)
I'm on the edge of my seat!
Matt (01:03:30.327)
Fuck me.
Spencer (01:03:30.479)
Yeah, it was her husband, the grain leader, and he had a method of growing grain that was so sought after, he would plant one seed in the sunlight every hour. Sorry. What do you mean? What do you mean I'm three quarters of the way done? It's all about grain.
Luciano (01:03:35.931)
The Grain Leader!
Matt (01:03:46.35)
Spencer, I need to tell you, I don't, I said little plot. We don't have two hours for this fucking movie. It better pick up.
Chris (01:03:55.999)
I think we have.
Matt (01:03:58.73)
Well, that makes sense.
Spencer (01:04:01.3)
And then they took over the grain field and she had to liberate it. That's it. She killed him using corn. Sorry, maize.
Chris (01:04:10.207)
Mmmm
Matt (01:04:11.384)
Ha ha.
Luciano (01:04:11.411)
I think she was like, she was the daughter of the grain leader. And then she trained from as a young child to be a revolutionary. She grained, yeah, to be a revolutionary. And she made guns with her own hands and the gun shot grains.
Chris (01:04:14.297)
That's accurate.
Spencer (01:04:18.435)
You mean she grained?
Spencer (01:04:22.291)
Hehehehehehe
Matt (01:04:23.984)
No.
Matt (01:04:29.218)
Fuck you guys.
Just.
Spencer (01:04:32.728)
You mean the grain shot grains? Everywheres.
Matt (01:04:35.229)
Oh my god, just...
Chris (01:04:36.959)
So would those guns be called gullets?
Matt (01:04:39.274)
just stop everyone why are we like this
Luciano (01:04:39.371)
Yes. And then the movie would be named Maze, the Nana story.
Spencer (01:04:42.687)
Guys, guys, I got Zack Snyder on the line. He's he's heard the podcast. He wants to make his next Netflix film. It's called the grains of grains nation.
Matt (01:04:47.588)
Oh no!
Chris (01:04:48.423)
He wants a big piece of this.
Chris (01:04:54.247)
Big peace. Oh.
Matt (01:04:57.814)
Can you get a colon in there?
Luciano (01:04:58.565)
The daughter of grains.
Spencer (01:04:59.788)
colon, the birth of a wheat field.
Chris (01:05:00.22)
Yes, yes.
Luciano (01:05:04.033)
No, it's, it's.
Chris (01:05:04.607)
I got a yes and grains through the hourglass.
Spencer (01:05:10.203)
He... He loves it. He's listening. He loves it.
Luciano (01:05:10.371)
No. Oh no. I mean, it's a soap opera too, so...
Matt (01:05:10.434)
These are the days of our lives.
Chris (01:05:12.776)
Don't listen.
Matt (01:05:16.95)
Great. Can we get Nana's name in the title or are we just gonna?
Luciano (01:05:19.759)
Yeah, I did. I saw it. It's Nana.
Spencer (01:05:20.176)
But what's her name?
Chris (01:05:21.187)
Yes, her name is Nana.
Spencer (01:05:23.403)
Oh her name is Nana even then. I like it. So she's a beautiful 19 year old Nana.
Luciano (01:05:25.759)
Yes. Yeah, it's called it's called Maze colon the Nana story. That's the name of the movie.
Matt (01:05:25.839)
Haha, yeah.
Spencer (01:05:35.091)
A Nana story. No, no.
Chris (01:05:36.639)
But it was supposed to be like Child of Fire, right? So like, how do we, how do we?
Matt (01:05:39.278)
Yeah, Nana of Maze.
Spencer (01:05:40.499)
No, no, it's called Maze. A Nana story. Part one of nine.
Luciano (01:05:41.617)
N-n-
Chris (01:05:44.292)
Mays of Nana.
Matt (01:05:48.266)
Yes.
Luciano (01:05:50.107)
Part one, Grain Story.
Spencer (01:05:54.675)
A great story like a Star Wars story. They're all different grain stories. I love it
Luciano (01:05:56.247)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (01:05:56.462)
Okay, so... Let me just...
Chris (01:05:59.145)
I Really wish we I had like I would love to go back to the transcript of this piece here and just like read all That back and then have AI fix it cuz it's a hot steaming mess
Spencer (01:06:08.508)
It can't be fixed to any listener
Matt (01:06:11.198)
I'm gonna ask you to. Here we go right now, Spencer. Give me that title. Give me that title one more time.
Spencer (01:06:16.615)
Maze, a grain story, Nana's Beginnings, part one of nine.
Chris (01:06:21.859)
One of nine. Yeah.
Spencer (01:06:26.179)
Directed by Zack Snyder. Director's Cut, coming soon.
Matt (01:06:29.111)
Obviously.
Chris (01:06:31.975)
Yo, what happened to the grains of the hourglass?
Spencer (01:06:35.139)
Oh, grains of the hourglass. That's part two.
Luciano (01:06:36.199)
That's the, that's the, no, grains of the, grains of the hour glasses in the opening scroll.
Matt (01:06:37.811)
That's part two.
Spencer (01:06:44.411)
To anyone listening to this, you have to listen to our Rebel Moon Podcast to understand any of this.
Matt (01:06:44.982)
This movie is a four. You really should. This movie will be four by three. It'll be with yellow. Not how I did Sin City with the red splashes, but this will be yellow splashes. Yeah, yeah, because of core. All right, great. I'm glad we nailed that. We have no further questions. You're gonna yield all your time. We're moving on.
Luciano (01:06:49.024)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:06:52.324)
Black and white.
Chris (01:06:53.107)
Gah. Blurry.
Luciano (01:06:53.377)
Black and white
Spencer (01:06:56.001)
Yellow yeah, yeah just the corn though
Luciano (01:07:00.949)
Yeah, because corn. Yeah, okay. I yield all of your time.
Spencer (01:07:08.689)
Hehe
Chris (01:07:12.095)
It has to be done.
Matt (01:07:12.187)
So, watching this movie, there are obviously subtitles for all the Spanish parts. I don't know a lot of Spanish, but I do know enough to tell that the way they subtitled this movie is not what anybody was saying in the Reyes family. And given that we have someone here who has Latin heritage, I understand that you speak Portuguese, not Spanish, but you know enough, they're kind of similar enough that you can help us out. Yeah. Oh God. Alright, let me just ask the question.
Luciano (01:07:24.273)
I know it wasn't.
Luciano (01:07:33.567)
I understand Spanish enough, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
Spencer (01:07:34.159)
I'll take this one Luciano. No, no, I'm just kidding.
Chris (01:07:37.553)
Oh God. And that's when they knew everything was going downhill.
Matt (01:07:40.734)
So what was the...
Spencer (01:07:42.435)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (01:07:44.827)
Hahaha.
Matt (01:07:45.198)
You shouldn't have listened to this podcast if you didn't want to go downhill. My question to Luciano is what was the actually spiciest thing that the Reyes family said? Because they just made it all very banal when they wrote the captions, right?
Luciano (01:07:48.412)
That's true.
Luciano (01:07:59.191)
Yeah, I think so. First of all, anytime, anytime anyone says pinchy, that's like, you know, when, when Americans want to make it less offensive and they say bloody, and then it goes to England and they go, you can't say that that's basically the same thing. Pinchy is really bad. It's like F word, like fuck bad or something like that. So I think the spiciest thing is when the family is.
Matt (01:08:16.109)
Yeah.
Okay.
Luciano (01:08:28.691)
for whatever reason, gearing up to go save the guy, the only person in the family who has a superpower, whatever. The mother says, you cry later, they rescue him and she goes to Jaime and says, you go in there and party less pinche madre. And they go, and it translates as kick their asses. Now I don't speak Spanish, but as far as I understand it.
Matt (01:08:56.334)
Thanks for watching!
Luciano (01:08:56.923)
The way that she says that means, go fuck their fucking mothers. That's what that actually means. And so let me explain this. Party means to split. So that's what she meant. Yeah, go split their fucking mothers. That's what she said. So I think that's the, yeah. Sure. Yeah, they're gonna split their mothers in the brain hole.
Spencer (01:09:08.232)
Okay...
Matt (01:09:08.316)
Alright. Let em cook!
Spencer (01:09:12.605)
Yeah
Chris (01:09:13.16)
Ha ha.
Spencer (01:09:17.728)
Get the Pidgey out of here.
Matt (01:09:19.982)
with a sword, right? There's gonna chop him in half. Yeah. Honestly, even saying a sword didn't make it less sexual. It's probably worse, to be honest.
Luciano (01:09:27.859)
No it didn't. It has something to do with their brain holes. Yeah. Exactly. I think that's the spiciest one that I could hear. But all of the Spanish was really like, if this was translated probably would not have been PG at all.
Spencer (01:09:30.003)
with the old Mac daddy goes with an old Mac daddy 100
Matt (01:09:32.825)
Yeah
Spencer (01:09:38.187)
Yeah, it's like the, it was like ghost.
Matt (01:09:39.071)
Alright.
Spencer (01:09:45.387)
No, it was like, they're like, suck my cock. And it's like, go have fun. They're Italian now.
Matt (01:09:46.164)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:09:50.114)
They're Italian though.
Matt (01:09:55.11)
Why did you say a suck on my cock in Italian? Why? What was the thought process?
Chris (01:09:57.459)
Hehe hehehe
Spencer (01:09:58.652)
No, no, it's like, like this, like they would say something in Spanish and it would be so bad, it would clearly sound bad.
Luciano (01:09:59.09)
This is not the Mario movie.
Chris (01:10:01.956)
HAHAHAHA! Look at my turtle!
Matt (01:10:05.226)
Sorry, is Italian your Spanish accent? Is that what you're telling me right now?
Spencer (01:10:09.26)
No
Luciano (01:10:09.279)
Is... No, that's... that was Spencer speaking Italian. Ah sacca mai, cawca!
Chris (01:10:09.529)
Thank you.
Spencer (01:10:12.347)
I can't- I can't- I don't think I could do a Spanish accent without offending an entire nation or more. I can offend the Italians. I can do that all day.
Matt (01:10:17.098)
without being Italian.
Chris (01:10:20.969)
I'm sorry.
Matt (01:10:23.367)
I think they're good right now.
Spencer (01:10:23.692)
I know remember that scene where she was like, it's a spice meatball
Chris (01:10:24.914)
Uhhh
Chris (01:10:28.051)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:10:28.071)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:10:29.142)
Fuck, run out. Next question moving on, Jenny. Jenny, Jenny Khor is... Oh fuck.
Spencer (01:10:34.287)
Jedi? Nice. We're on the same page there.
Chris (01:10:35.091)
Channel.
Luciano (01:10:37.212)
Oh no. Oh no.
Chris (01:10:39.491)
Yeah, bro. Yeah, buddy.
Matt (01:10:40.53)
She is a very important person in the movie who is given very little backstory or any explanations. How many attempts to kiss her at possibly two of the worst times in human history doesn't thankfully and they do it at a semi-normal time. And what we learn about Jenny, the only thing we learn about Jenny is she's Ted Kord's daughter. Ted Kord used to be in charge of the company. He vanished and her mom died when she was young and her dad emotionally vanished from her life at some point.
Chris (01:10:52.767)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:10:54.035)
Yeah.
Matt (01:11:10.186)
We know nothing about Jenny. I just want to fill in some gaps for people. Because what happened with Jenny from when she was like six, I think her mom died or something like that, till now that made her whatever caricature she is.
Luciano (01:11:11.644)
Right.
Luciano (01:11:19.431)
Six or eight, yeah.
Chris (01:11:25.695)
She is.
Spencer (01:11:27.803)
Apparently nothing, she's not a character.
Luciano (01:11:30.816)
So the true answer is that she's Brazilian. That's how she learned all that. So just by living in Brazil. Yeah, so she had to learn some skills. Those skills were pickpocketing and lockpicking. Yes.
Matt (01:11:31.982)
Ha ha.
Spencer (01:11:34.619)
That's her character.
Matt (01:11:38.478)
So she hung out with, she relives in Brazil.
Spencer (01:11:41.307)
She lives in Brazil.
Matt (01:11:44.662)
So the keys are...
Spencer (01:11:44.668)
She grew up in the s- in the-
Spencer (01:11:49.42)
Oh, so she grew up in the favelas.
Matt (01:11:52.95)
So, okay, so how, we don't really know, but like how far out of the city was the court compound?
Spencer (01:12:00.751)
Seven miles.
Luciano (01:12:00.883)
far. It looks like. That's not for her.
Chris (01:12:02.435)
Mm-hmm. That doesn't sound like... I can...
Matt (01:12:03.734)
That's not fire, I don't know if you know.
Spencer (01:12:04.765)
700 miles.
Spencer (01:12:09.376)
Is that closer? It's 70 miles.
Matt (01:12:10.794)
better. I guess that's too far probably but you know what fine.
Chris (01:12:14.279)
Sounds like a few hours.
Matt (01:12:17.514)
So you're saying in between the core compound and the keys, they're just Brazilian favelas?
Luciano (01:12:22.403)
700, is this? Ha!
Spencer (01:12:24.237)
Yeah, 700 miles of Brazilian favelas.
Luciano (01:12:26.923)
No, wait, no, that's not Brazil. She grew up in actual Brazil.
Matt (01:12:33.087)
Oh, so they shipped her back.
Luciano (01:12:34.423)
Yeah, of course. You think Victoria would raise her? Come on.
Spencer (01:12:35.012)
Oh yeah.
Spencer (01:12:38.971)
She had to go stay with, I assume her mom's parents. And that's equally, Ted Kord actually built that so she would feel at home, you know. That's after mom died, he built the favelas in Texas.
Matt (01:12:40.106)
I like to think there's just 700 miles of Brazilian favelas outside of Palmar city. After her mom died.
Luciano (01:12:44.629)
I mean this is DC, how do you know it doesn't?
Chris (01:12:48.57)
you
Chris (01:12:54.458)
Damn.
Luciano (01:12:57.307)
He didn't build it, he just moved. He moved all the favelas from Brazil to there, to be authentic.
Spencer (01:13:04.322)
Yes.
Chris (01:13:04.727)
We paid good money to bring the favelas here, Jenny. So make sure, Jenny, make sure you know what you're gonna get.
Spencer (01:13:08.579)
Jedi.
Luciano (01:13:13.753)
Then she had a relationship with Forrest Gump in the middle. Yeah, in the 70s.
Spencer (01:13:15.664)
Yeah, in the 70s.
Chris (01:13:17.063)
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Matt (01:13:20.766)
What? She's like 20 something.
Spencer (01:13:23.127)
She had a wild, wild past. Listen, Jedi, we're going to live for Valis today. Sorry.
Luciano (01:13:24.013)
Ha ha!
Luciano (01:13:27.217)
Oh god.
Matt (01:13:27.606)
Moving on! No, we're moving on. We're moving on!
Chris (01:13:30.419)
Brazilian nuts don't crack.
Luciano (01:13:31.56)
So the answer is she's Brazilian. There.
Matt (01:13:34.114)
This is Brazilian, I love it. That's a great answer. Moving on, Jaime returns to Palmeira City and he's wearing or wearing or he has a Gotham University sweater in his hands and we know that he went for pre-law. I wanna know, if you're going to Gotham University, what courses is Gotham University teaching Jaime?
Chris (01:13:52.759)
Oh, one of their premier courses is the exercise of futility. Um, when you bring in, when you, when you bring in, uh, when, when you're meant to defend, uh, somebody, you might as well put the phone down cause you, you can't be bothered to even phone it in. Um, the city may pay your fees to represent someone, uh, but, um,
Spencer (01:13:57.812)
Oh, shots fired.
Chris (01:14:23.536)
I think the minimum requirement is to show up.
Spencer (01:14:28.007)
and wear pants.
Chris (01:14:28.923)
So that is...
Luciano (01:14:30.029)
I think that there's also like an elective called dealing with Batman. There has to be.
Matt (01:14:31.478)
Hehehehehe
Spencer (01:14:34.583)
Well, this is a law school. This is Gotham Law School, correct? So I assume the course, one of the main, avoiding ACID 101.
Chris (01:14:35.122)
Hmm?
Luciano (01:14:39.298)
Gotham law, yeah.
Luciano (01:14:47.327)
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Another mandatory is flipping coins. There's flipping coins one on one as well.
Spencer (01:14:47.907)
That's a mandatory. That's not an elective. That's a mandatory. After what happened.
Chris (01:14:48.767)
Hmm.
Ah! The Dent Incident.
Spencer (01:14:59.68)
Well, you know, you don't have to learn that that's every dance thing
Chris (01:14:59.807)
Ah, yes.
Luciano (01:15:02.127)
Yeah you do. It's Gotham Law. You got it.
Matt (01:15:05.266)
But I think he was not a lawyer at that point.
Luciano (01:15:08.809)
Not yet.
Spencer (01:15:09.844)
There's also of course, bat fascism.
Matt (01:15:14.151)
Oh, can you describe that one for me?
Chris (01:15:14.428)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:15:15.564)
According to Rudy, right?
Spencer (01:15:16.491)
That's where they discuss the facets of bat fascist law. So normally it's illegal to beat up, like if a police officer was to completely beat up a suspect, force an admission of guilt, bring them in with a broken leg and missing teeth, that would be in a normal state or city that would be inadmissible.
Luciano (01:15:29.852)
Hahaha
Matt (01:15:42.466)
So you're just saying in the DC universe, because that seems completely fine in our universe.
Spencer (01:15:47.767)
Yes, in this fictitious universe that's not allowed, unless you have a Batman license, and they don't give those out to many people.
Luciano (01:15:49.943)
Oof.
Matt (01:15:50.318)
Thank you. Yep.
Matt (01:15:57.714)
I- when we say Batman license, we just mean superhero license. Like obviously Gotham understands that there are... Okay. Right. Fair enough.
Spencer (01:16:02.031)
They still call it Batman license, but any superhero can get it. It's yeah, he was the first to be legally given. I'll give it.
Luciano (01:16:05.587)
It's for historical reasons that they call it Batman license.
Luciano (01:16:10.981)
Allow to pummel people into pulp.
Matt (01:16:13.169)
Sorry, legally classified as a Batman.
Chris (01:16:13.727)
Hmm
Spencer (01:16:15.388)
Yeah, yeah, it was the first to be legally classified as a Batman, and he was the first given the license to kill
Luciano (01:16:22.095)
Not kill, but put in traction at least.
Chris (01:16:22.84)
Mm.
Spencer (01:16:23.495)
Yes, yes, that's the fine print. There's a course called Pleading Insanity and how to use it. That's very useful in Gotham Law.
Chris (01:16:25.215)
Hehehe
Luciano (01:16:31.538)
Yeah.
Matt (01:16:35.294)
Is there also a counter course of the criminal's blood insanity? How do you get them sent to Arkham? Like, what's the course like that called?
Spencer (01:16:44.083)
Oh, they don't do that there. No, they don't want. They don't want insane people. They want them on the streets. This is this is Gotham. You got this mixed up with some sort of some sort of society.
Matt (01:16:46.687)
I don't do that there.
Luciano (01:16:53.463)
Wait, what? Ah, I see.
Matt (01:17:00.298)
But my understanding is Arkham Asylum holds all of the crazies like Joker and...
Chris (01:17:01.2)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:17:04.055)
Oh, oh, you're talking about like the week stays. Yeah, you can go to Arkham for a week. It's a that's that.
Luciano (01:17:08.827)
The week's taste. You think it's a prison, it's a timeshare. It's a timeshare.
Matt (01:17:12.565)
It's a spa. It's time to share.
Spencer (01:17:13.247)
Yeah, yeah, that was all the you're legally allowed to send them there for a week. They can stay longer if they please. But after that, it's double jeopardy.
Chris (01:17:15.599)
mini retreat.
Matt (01:17:20.801)
Right.
Chris (01:17:24.859)
And if you stay for two weeks, if you happen to stay for two weeks, you can elect to pick up one of the most sought after courses, dodge ball as a pedestrian. Cause you need to be dodging bullets.
Luciano (01:17:25.203)
Ha ha!
Matt (01:17:28.453)
Spedger.
Spencer (01:17:37.531)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Luciano (01:17:40.732)
and Batmobiles.
Chris (01:17:42.531)
Yes, speeding car chases.
Spencer (01:17:42.551)
And the most popular course at Gotham Law is bribery. Are you getting top dollar? So that's a big one, because it's more of a business course, it's an elective. But if you, well yeah, it's obviously, but it's getting.
Matt (01:17:50.26)
Hehehe
Chris (01:17:50.271)
Hehehe
Luciano (01:17:50.683)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:17:56.933)
I see.
Chris (01:17:57.087)
I mean, are you on the take? Yet? No, not you. That's the mantra you need to adopt. Are you on the take? Yes.
Matt (01:18:01.234)
I think it's.
Spencer (01:18:03.081)
Oh, that's the mantra.
Matt (01:18:06.995)
I thought the course was called Why Aren't You on the Take?
Spencer (01:18:09.86)
That, yeah.
Luciano (01:18:12.487)
There's also probably at least maybe not a full course, but there's at least like a part of one course where it's like it teaches which prison or which like people need to go to Blackgate and which people need to go to Arkham. Does it must be, oh, gotcha. There you go. 201. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (01:18:27.427)
That's where the coin flipping comes in. That's where that coin flipping course comes in use.
Matt (01:18:30.058)
Yeah that's a coin flipping 2-0, 2-0-1.
Spencer (01:18:34.543)
To do a one. Yes. Yeah. You've already.
Chris (01:18:37.055)
So you set a donut shop on fire with the baker inside.
Spencer (01:18:42.531)
haha yeah alright you're going to jail no it's I have a an idea I'm crazy I'm the donut man I'm compelled to burn donuts okay one week in Arkham it is
Luciano (01:18:43.412)
Well, I come lucked out. Get your swag bag.
Matt (01:18:45.809)
Wow.
Chris (01:18:54.631)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:18:56.959)
I use donuts as my weapon. Whoop, it's Arkham for you.
Chris (01:18:57.427)
They can't.
They call me the Greasy Hole.
Matt (01:19:02.975)
God damn it.
Luciano (01:19:03.257)
Hahaha! If it... Hahaha! There's nothing we can do, it's Arkham for you!
Spencer (01:19:06.135)
Touche! Kisadamnagar!
Matt (01:19:08.11)
Is... Spence it... The only... The only question I have is... Is there any sort of course around what to do if you're an orphan and Batman approaches you?
Chris (01:19:09.791)
Grease.
Spencer (01:19:21.771)
Yes, it's called. Stranger danger. Do you?
Chris (01:19:28.351)
and the subtitle is called Weeping Willow.
Luciano (01:19:29.319)
No, stranger no danger, right? In this case, it's stranger no danger.
Spencer (01:19:31.075)
No, no, it's dangerous.
Matt (01:19:34.571)
Hmm, is it?
Spencer (01:19:35.483)
If Batman approaches you... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Luciano (01:19:36.625)
Yeah, that's how they sell it. If Buttman purchases you.
Spencer (01:19:41.911)
If Batman purchases you, then you're in trouble.
Chris (01:19:47.516)
You're then conscripted into his war, into his war on crime.
Spencer (01:19:49.353)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:19:50.57)
So, no, most of that course is teaching you how to wear the most garish and attractive clothing that you can possibly do so that you attract attention away from Batman so that he can do his job.
Chris (01:20:03.455)
Skin tight.
Spencer (01:20:04.927)
No, it's actually a child's course. This one's taught in grade, grade six and grade seven. And it, no, this one is just teaching you how to, how to wear a fake beard, how to look older, how to look, how to look like you're, you're not a lost orphan, you know, put on a smart face. Yeah, talk about, talk about loans, talk about stocks. If Batman approaches you saying,
Chris (01:20:11.391)
It's called Hold the Gun, Aim and Pull the Trigger.
Luciano (01:20:11.463)
It's got...
Matt (01:20:20.706)
Hehehe
Luciano (01:20:20.997)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Chris (01:20:25.752)
Kinda look like you've got a mortgage.
Spencer (01:20:33.359)
Do you need a place to stay? You say, no, I have a place in the Keys, Palmaro City. She started mentioning properties. He's like a cat with water. He doesn't like that stuff. It's too real. Don't talk about your parents dying. I don't care how dead they are.
Luciano (01:20:39.988)
Yeah.
Chris (01:20:42.591)
Time share.
Chris (01:20:51.419)
Talk about your 401k.
Luciano (01:20:53.411)
Yeah, no, just say you love your parents and they're the most important thing in your life. And. And how they're like really nice to you and were present in your life the whole time. Uh, yeah.
Spencer (01:20:56.415)
Yeah, talk about how alive they are, how their heart beats.
Matt (01:20:57.755)
They're definitely still alive.
Chris (01:21:06.727)
Have you had a fulfilling life? You know, some challenges career-wise. There's a guy named Jeff that you would really love to put in his place, but you know, day in, day out, we're gonna make these duckets.
Spencer (01:21:10.333)
There's no maggots in their skin.
Luciano (01:21:17.451)
Yeah. Also say you're afraid of bats. Say you're afraid of bats.
Spencer (01:21:18.251)
And if you do that, you too can go to Gotham Law.
Matt (01:21:18.958)
Great.
Matt (01:21:26.686)
I'm confused about what he learned, but I'm sure it's going to help him in his future career as a Blue Beetle. Next question. Jaime splits a bus in half, quote unquote, accidentally. And I want to know.
Luciano (01:21:39.571)
Oh no. Easy there Conquista.
Matt (01:21:44.97)
That's just a movie, I'm just asking questions! Speaking of asking questions, Jaime was very close to killing someone because the way he split the bus, the way he protected himself was to liquefy the bus as much as possible. What would have happened if he accidentally hit somebody with this liquefaction process and the local Palmeira police got involved? How would that ha- how would they handle the situation? The police. Jaime's fucked, obviously.
Spencer (01:21:46.42)
I'm just asking questions for the doctor.
Spencer (01:21:57.571)
Heheheheheheh
Luciano (01:21:59.163)
Ha ha ha!
Luciano (01:22:12.007)
This is in Texas, this is in Texas, right? This is in Texas, right?
Spencer (01:22:12.752)
I was gonna say, this is Texas, right?
Sir, drop the gun!
Matt (01:22:17.247)
Allegedly yes.
Chris (01:22:21.531)
Uh, uh, I don't know what's happening! Uh, uh, I'm so sorry! I'm not in control of my body! Uh, it's this thing on me! I don't... Help me! No, please! Please! I...
Spencer (01:22:23.971)
Sir, we don't want any trouble.
Spencer (01:22:34.177)
He's coming right at us! Aim for the ice!
Spencer (01:22:42.085)
Peace out.
Luciano (01:22:42.419)
I mean the moment he spoke, they would say, sir, drop your gun. And he would say, no, I didn't. Oh, he's, no, he's one of them Spanish, he's one of them Spanish, he's one of them Spanish people.
Spencer (01:22:44.675)
Yeah.
Chris (01:22:54.223)
He's black.
Spencer (01:22:54.401)
He's black! No, I'm not!
Chris (01:22:59.703)
He's black or he's Spanish. Unholster your weapons, guys. Unholster.
Luciano (01:23:01.584)
Or maybe both.
Luciano (01:23:05.549)
Hahaha
Spencer (01:23:05.721)
He's a non-white!
Chris (01:23:08.387)
I think, I think, we know what to do. Follow the protocol, take the safety off.
Luciano (01:23:09.617)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:23:13.263)
But sir, I have a mask on, how do you know? Oh, he's talking back to the authority. Hahaha! Illegal! I-legal immigrant! Hahaha!
Chris (01:23:17.895)
He's speaking a different language, okay. Unload the clips. Unload the clips, the full clip. Unload, aim for the head.
Matt (01:23:20.834)
God damn it.
Spencer (01:23:28.591)
Sir, how much drugs are you on right now? Oh, we just found a packet of cocaine. What's this? Pulls it out of his skin. Ooh.
Matt (01:23:30.25)
Thanks for watching!
Luciano (01:23:32.796)
The.
Luciano (01:23:36.874)
out of his own pocket.
Chris (01:23:38.356)
Yes.
Matt (01:23:41.962)
You awesome, throw this at me.
Luciano (01:23:44.786)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:23:44.837)
You are fired.
Chris (01:23:46.782)
You saw him lunge. You tried to make me sniff his immigrant powders. No. Listen.
Matt (01:23:52.758)
Wow, too far. That's too far.
Spencer (01:23:53.633)
Too far. It's immigrant- it's immigrant powders.
Luciano (01:23:57.796)
So I think what we're saying Matt is that's where the movie would have ended. Yeah.
Matt (01:24:00.898)
Great. Five minutes movie over.
Chris (01:24:02.3)
Woo woo!
Spencer (01:24:04.055)
No, they would have realized that they can't shoot him because he has the suit on.
Chris (01:24:05.343)
Bad boys, bad boys, bad boys, bad boys, man. But they still unload the clips.
Spencer (01:24:10.419)
Oh yeah, they unload the clips. And.
Luciano (01:24:11.111)
Yeah.
Chris (01:24:13.031)
whether in the streets or in the house.
Luciano (01:24:13.559)
And then the bullets would ricochet and kill a bunch of people. And then they would say, he killed a bunch of people. Yeah.
Matt (01:24:18.143)
Obviously.
Chris (01:24:18.563)
Yeah, they try to hold him down and then just call me back back. We have resistance. Can you please send home lads? Yeah, we know yeah, that's right
Luciano (01:24:24.531)
I'm sorry.
Matt (01:24:25.987)
We've seen how this plays out. I don't need to go any further. If you were the Blue Beetle and you were fighting the Elmac, what weapons would you get the Blue Beetle to create for you?
Chris (01:24:37.787)
I'd first try Sonics, see if I can, if I can... No, like Sonic Disruptors, like waves of sound to see if I could set the omac off, knowing that there's a human inside, see if I could get him to like lose his balance and mess with his equilibrium. That's one thing that comes to mind. Like...
Luciano (01:24:41.435)
Like you become, you become a hedgehog?
Luciano (01:24:48.718)
I see.
Spencer (01:24:57.463)
Do we have his no kill rule? Yeah.
Matt (01:24:58.262)
Whatever what if you weren't a bitch like Jaime and you wanted to kill this person? But what if you're every other member of the Reyes family?
Spencer (01:25:06.523)
Can I create something anywhere?
Chris (01:25:08.027)
Right. What do you mean anywhere? Off of you, part of you? Yeah.
Luciano (01:25:09.774)
No, it has to be on you. It has to be on you. Yeah.
Matt (01:25:10.526)
Anywhere on the body... Yeah. Oh my god. I don't know- I don't like where this is going, but yes, anywhere on your body you can create a weapon. I'm sorry. No.
Spencer (01:25:11.855)
So you can create it on your body. Like I can't, I can't, I, no I can't create like a grenade inside him.
Chris (01:25:23.132)
A what?
Luciano (01:25:23.139)
No, no, you have to create it attached to your body.
Spencer (01:25:28.191)
I create a long pipe that goes into his body that I could put a grenade into that would roll it into his stomach.
Matt (01:25:28.407)
Yeah.
Chris (01:25:39.603)
That's a long time, but I like the creativity.
Matt (01:25:40.866)
Okay, so you created a giant hollow spear that you gut him like a fish with and then roll a grenade down the pipe to finish the job?
Spencer (01:25:46.018)
Yes.
Spencer (01:25:51.89)
Thump. Tick
Luciano (01:25:53.26)
It's called overkill, the best kind of kill.
Spencer (01:25:55.523)
I don't know, I just had an idea of having a grenade inside him that I wanted to make that happen. Is that the most feasible way? With said powers? No, you know what? I'd create a giant funnel and put it in his mouth. And then shoot it.
Matt (01:26:03.583)
I'm not sure you should be allowed to I don't think the blue beetle would pick you is what we're getting at
Luciano (01:26:07.116)
Yeah.
Matt (01:26:09.758)
Oh my god. He's wearing, the omax is wearing a suit and he has his face covered.
Chris (01:26:11.246)
I think it's a giant funnel.
Luciano (01:26:15.065)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:26:15.807)
I'd make a giant funnel with like a pointed edge that I can stab through his mask into his mouth and then take the grenade.
Chris (01:26:21.922)
Oh.
Matt (01:26:22.282)
You've- you stabbed through his fucking head. What's the grenade for?
Chris (01:26:26.281)
I'm...
Spencer (01:26:26.895)
Kobe! HUH! Heheheheh!
Luciano (01:26:26.905)
That's what I'm saying. It's called overkill, Matt. It's the best kind of kill.
Spencer (01:26:31.939)
Listen, you guys can-
Chris (01:26:32.223)
I thought he was creating a final so he could sell his seven stages of prosperity to him so he can get him to purchase a timeshare in the Keys.
Matt (01:26:32.662)
Ugh.
Spencer (01:26:38.431)
Listen, you guys can fight me on this all you want. I'm getting a grenade in this man.
Chris (01:26:42.907)
All right, I would love so level to level up from Sonics. I would like to also go with a huge ass shoulder cannon all like Tony Stark proton cannon like you would see in Marvel superheroes. I would love to fucking see a proton, a real like movie proton cam and can it.
Spencer (01:26:43.811)
Ha ha ha!
Luciano (01:26:53.999)
Oh yeah, oh yeah. But you have to say it's my Sunday best first. You have to. You have to say it.
Spencer (01:27:04.747)
Actually, you just made me think of something too. Can Blue Beetle, Blue Beetle can create anything. Could Blue Beetle feasibly do like a kamehameha kind of attack?
Matt (01:27:07.744)
I don't want to be here.
Luciano (01:27:09.051)
Ha ha ha!
Luciano (01:27:15.248)
Yeah? Yeah.
Chris (01:27:15.375)
Yeah, but he did it from his chest pretty much. And like every time he charged up like Unabeam, like it didn't seem like it was burning anything. It was like concussive, like it was just pushing.
Luciano (01:27:24.899)
Yeah, cause he didn't want to kill anything, right? Yeah. Like if it was you, you could have been fucking plasma or whatever. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (01:27:25.404)
Was that by choice because you didn't want to kill? So if you wanted to kill, you could make a beam that would just slice them in half.
Chris (01:27:28.528)
I guess so, yeah.
Matt (01:27:34.282)
Yeah, again, he can just be, he's Iron Man, right? With the chest thing, he could beam through. I don't think he could beam through All-Mack immediately, but he probably could at some point. He has more power.
Chris (01:27:39.626)
Yeah. Unabim!
Spencer (01:27:42.331)
Could he beam a hole in Mack big enough to fit a grenade?
Chris (01:27:43.004)
Repulsor Blast!
Luciano (01:27:46.448)
What?
Chris (01:27:46.931)
Yes.
Matt (01:27:47.134)
I mean, yes, but the hole would probably be through the omac, but you certainly could put a grenade in that hole. And then...
Spencer (01:27:51.443)
Okay, that one then.
Chris (01:27:55.059)
I like the staples that he used like he could have stapled his feet to the ground and then like really unload on him That would have been
Luciano (01:28:00.467)
Can staple his nipples as well? HAHA
Matt (01:28:03.722)
We're done here.
Spencer (01:28:04.069)
Can you make a giant meat grinder?
Matt (01:28:07.658)
We're now we're finished. I already said we were done. The podcast is over guys. I want to listen. Let's talk about your rating for this movie.
Luciano (01:28:07.704)
Yeah? Why not?
Chris (01:28:08.028)
Yeah?
Spencer (01:28:09.519)
Can you make animals?
Spencer (01:28:15.327)
Can you make a snake with a grenade in its stomach that could crawl up into his mouth? Up his ass? OK, OK.
Luciano (01:28:15.573)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:28:18.474)
No, no, Spencer, I said no, I said no, no.
Chris (01:28:21.435)
It is ass. Oh, I thought you were saying it was in his... What about the brain butthole? The culo.
Luciano (01:28:21.955)
No, why not up the brain hole? Up the brain hole.
Luciano (01:28:30.044)
Ha ha
Matt (01:28:30.722)
Don't make me, don't make me. No, no, we're done. Stop, stop.
Chris (01:28:32.013)
Cool out!
Luciano (01:28:35.783)
All right, all right.
Chris (01:28:36.819)
butts, cheeks, jam and spread them.
Matt (01:28:41.65)
No. I said no. All I want to know from here is what is your ranking of this movie on our patented ranking scale. S is the top tier, F is the bottom tier. Put it somewhere in there, tell me why you put it there. Don't talk about Big Mac sauce or anything weird. None of that shit. None of it.
Spencer (01:28:42.863)
Uh huh.
Luciano (01:28:59.837)
What?
Oh Mac Daddy Dicks. Grenades. Ha!
Spencer (01:29:03.907)
grenades
Chris (01:29:08.251)
Daddy Dicks, when you bring it back, it's just so good.
Matt (01:29:11.306)
Just dance- just fuckin' tell me why you hated or liked this movie. Well, why should I start with Spencer since he didn't watch the whole thing? Get him out of the way first. W H A T
Luciano (01:29:14.432)
Alright.
Spencer (01:29:15.103)
Okay. Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. I missed, I missed I think, I thought five minutes I was told maybe it was 15. So it's not a fair ranking. Having said that, my ranking is all that matters. It was, I really like, I enjoyed this movie quite a bit in the first act and the second he got his suit, I thought it would really take off
Luciano (01:29:19.381)
Hahaha.
Chris (01:29:19.69)
Oh
Spencer (01:29:45.243)
the opposite, it kind of became pretty boring by the numbers. Like Matt said, if this movie came out in 2004 and the trailer had a Nickelback song, this movie would have made $900 million, but with today's market of superhero movies and everything being done, it's kind of boring by the
Spencer (01:30:14.979)
good cast, good fun cast and stuff, but the story itself was blah. So because of that, I'm gonna give it a C.
Spencer (01:30:24.759)
I rest my case. Case closed. In this economy, I gave it a C. It's okay, could have been better, could have been worse.
Luciano (01:30:25.241)
shit.
Matt (01:30:26.91)
In this economy.
Luciano (01:30:28.853)
In this economy?
Matt (01:30:32.05)
Alright.
All right, let's go. Let's ask Luciano what he thought.
Luciano (01:30:40.311)
So it's...
everything that I hate about superhero movies with everything that I hate about soap operas together. So sure. So like I said it already, I'm not going to rehash it, but like the whole melodramatic shit in the middle and the really paint by number everything just all the characters are super two-dimensional and shallow and I have no I had no
Spencer (01:30:52.227)
So you loved it.
Luciano (01:31:12.935)
I wasn't sad when the dad died and everybody was crying and all that shit. I was like, who gives a shit about anything? Maybe. But there were two things that I liked in this movie and it was George Lopez and the CG. All the rest was horrible. The end was horrible. Everything was kind of shit. So because of George Lopez, I'm going to give it an E.
Spencer (01:31:17.539)
or your heartless robot.
Spencer (01:31:42.595)
Whoa, that's pretty low.
Luciano (01:31:42.679)
Otherwise it would have been an F. Yeah. I, they are like, this is just Latin PTSD for me. So I'm out.
Matt (01:31:44.343)
Wow, all right.
Spencer (01:31:50.987)
Alright, that's fair. I feel like the whole point of this movie was trying to get the Latin market on board.
Luciano (01:31:57.311)
Well, they failed with me. You have one data point. You have one data point. Yeah, I really, I really hate it.
Spencer (01:31:58.915)
Yeah, the irony.
Matt (01:32:04.777)
Alright.
Cool. Chris.
Chris (01:32:09.235)
Hmm. So. OK, fair points, everybody. It wasn't it. It didn't sting me that much. So I'll just like my rating is also C. I wanted to give it a B, but it was bumpy here and there. And like shout outs to like the Nana character. Like, again, like where it was fun, it was good fun. Nana.
The family thing did something for me, like to Spencer's point in the early part. Like actually there was a lot of, there were echoes of like the Uncle Ben kind of moment when the father, the afterlife father, ghost mentoring Jaime, it got me in my feels. So I appreciated that. And then like just like the nods to like, just like comic, the Blue Beetle comic history stuff was fun for me. Would I want to see another one? Yeah, so yeah, that's why I led with my rating C. It,
could have been a little bit better, but what we got for me, it was fun. So I would recommend it actually, even though it's a C-
Spencer (01:33:16.283)
Word.
Matt (01:33:18.07)
Alright, um, I wanted to like this movie. I did like this movie, at other points I did not like this movie. And it made me start to wonder if this movie never had a chance because comic books in their nature are very tropey. Like the story of Blue Beetle, is it the same as the one they presented us? I don't know, it might be very different. It might have been...
taking Ted Kord's origin and applying it to Jaime or vice versa. But it just feels like the big tropes of a mega organization who builds weapons is out to get you. Those are common and it works fine in comics because we all just kind of accepted it because it doesn't matter. Like the comics, the story is so varied. Well it's like, but it's like in the comics it's just a means to an end, right? We don't spend time actually focusing on their origin or these evil companies. We're just like...
Luciano (01:34:01.443)
It was all also on the nose as well to everything on the nose.
Right.
Matt (01:34:13.226)
Oh yeah, there's an evil company is over here and sometimes we talk about it, but we spend so much other time talking about these other stories But no one wants to talk about those other stories We got to tell the origin story as we get trapped in the cycle of telling origin stories, but they're not varied So how do you stay true to the characters origin story for the nerds? But then how do you excite audience goers? Because if you don't know the comic book story You're not you don't care if it's true. We just want a fun story and if the fun story is repeating
Chris (01:34:25.566)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:34:41.462)
which you've seen in Iron Man, which you've seen in Batman, it's automatically bad. Anyways, that rant being said, you know, was fun. George- George Lopez was fun, the family could be fun. Actually, I thought assaulting with the Blue Beetle was kind of fun, other than the fact there was no security there. So like, I think it's a C, too. Like, it had moments where it was entertaining, it had moments where it was just like, I've seen this before. And so I'm not gonna dig it too badly because I've seen it before, but it's just like, ho hum. I didn't fall asleep, uh, like some people, but, uh...
Chris (01:34:46.44)
Yeah.
Chris (01:35:07.528)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:35:09.363)
I'm out.
Spencer (01:35:11.313)
And I gave it a C.
Matt (01:35:13.206)
Yeah, I had an okay time. I don't have Latin PTSD currently, so.
Chris (01:35:13.639)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:35:17.967)
Yeah, that doesn't make sense.
Chris (01:35:19.187)
The thing, the insult to injury very quick and short, like to your point, the repetition of origin stories, the direction they took with like corpse is not what they did in the first Blue Beetle comic arc. It was an alien invasion where the scarab comes from. And that would have been better, much better.
Luciano (01:35:37.319)
See that would have been better.
Spencer (01:35:40.959)
Yeah. And yeah, just to touch on your point, Matt, as well as the the. Origin part was actually the part that didn't bother me. That much, it was the second half. I know the origin is like very, very repetitive, but I thought they did it well here because it was like the family was refreshing and they did it pretty quick, like he gets it and like none of that bother. I actually liked the movie. It was the villain and the evil corporation tropes that really bothered me.
Matt (01:36:11.646)
Right, but that kind of ties into my overall point. Like, okay, the origin specifically is new, but the trope of there's an evil corporation trying to get the technology back from you, right?
Spencer (01:36:16.803)
Like they did, it wasn't new, but they did that, they did the origin trope well, is what I'm saying. I feel like you can do tropes if you do them well. If the villain was good villain.
Matt (01:36:28.335)
I agree with you, you're focusing too much on the idea. I just picked the origin as a trope, right? But there are so many tropes used in the movie.
Luciano (01:36:35.643)
This movie is completely just tropes, it's completely paint by numbers. There's nothing... Yeah.
Matt (01:36:38.014)
Yeah, like you can like the origin. That's great. That's fine. The origins not necessarily that trophy but the mega corporation that wants the technology back because they have an evil plot to use it to
Spencer (01:36:48.084)
Yeah, that stuff was unbearable.
Luciano (01:36:48.327)
The hero that doesn't want to be a hero, like the hero that gets a superpower that he doesn't want, the hero that doesn't want to kill because he thinks he's better than that, the hero that needs a reason for vengeance. Those are all like super tired tropes. Yeah. So like, it's very like, right?
Chris (01:36:49.317)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:36:51.924)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:37:01.623)
Death of the Father figure.
Matt (01:37:04.358)
Yeah. So it's just like, that's why 2004 would've been cool because it'd be the first time we're seeing it. But now we've seen it so many times, that it's just like.
Luciano (01:37:11.692)
Yeah.
And there was no good reason for it to be like, I don't think it's right.
Matt (01:37:17.971)
Anyways, this is just a quick review. It's not a we should have talked about all this stuff if we wanted to at the beginning of the movie. It's the reason why I'm giving it a C.
Spencer (01:37:22.111)
Nah, we're just gonna write our own superhero movie and it's gonna be anti-tropes.
Luciano (01:37:27.983)
Alright. You're all wrong, but I respect you. Oh my kitty, I don't respect you. I don't respect you.
Chris (01:37:32.167)
Soundtrack was good. Score, anyways.
Matt (01:37:32.554)
No one cares. Wow, that's true. The truth is, you said. We're done with the Blue Beetle. We're cutting it off here. I don't know why we talked this long. What are we watching next week? Great question. We are going into the thriller section of facts, movies that you all love that we are watching on screaming and we may have missed. We all heard of the Meg 2.
Luciano (01:37:37.494)
Hahaha!
Spencer (01:37:40.343)
What are we watching next week, Matt?
Spencer (01:37:55.671)
Hoho
Chris (01:37:56.735)
Yeah, that's the WWE thing, isn't it?
Luciano (01:37:59.983)
Jesus Christ we're going straight into the second movie of a thing called the mag
Matt (01:38:04.426)
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure we don't need to watch the first, who cares? A shark.
Spencer (01:38:07.035)
You're gonna be completely lost. You're gonna be lost. Hehehehe The first one tells us origins. I actually did see the first mag.
Luciano (01:38:08.279)
Is this the shark one? Yeah, I was gonna say this is the shark one, isn't it?
Chris (01:38:08.551)
Yeah
Matt (01:38:10.654)
A fucking shark ate me.
Luciano (01:38:15.413)
Ay, ay.
Chris (01:38:15.705)
Perfect.
Luciano (01:38:18.588)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:38:18.69)
Well, we're skipping origins. Now.
Chris (01:38:18.855)
Did you see the first mag though? Spencer, it sounds like you saw the first mag. Okay.
Matt (01:38:24.478)
Well, try to watch the second one so you don't reference the first one.
Spencer (01:38:25.035)
You're gonna be so lost. It's like the dark night, there's so many twists and turns.
Matt (01:38:30.418)
Shut up. We're getting out of here. This podcast is over. Watch the make two if you want to hear us talk about it. Did you say bye before I finished?
Chris (01:38:30.623)
This'll be interesting.
Spencer (01:38:31.817)
I'm out.
Chris (01:38:34.325)
Bye!
Spencer (01:38:36.304)
Do it.
Luciano (01:38:37.051)
By the OMAC, it is very good and it's going to revolutionize military... something.
Matt (01:38:44.278)
I don't want to be here. We're out of here. Goodbye.
Chris (01:38:45.543)
Hehehe