Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
A podcast for women doing a lot and craving more soul alignment — motherhood, business, healing, relationships, growth — trying to do it without running themselves into the ground.
We talk about:
* intuition & energy
* nervous system regulation
* trauma healing
* self-compassion
* emotional processing
* entrepreneurship
* motherhood
* creating routines that actually support you
* staying connected to yourself while juggling real life
This is about learning how to feel energized, grounded, cared for, emotionally honest, and fully alive.
Your soul called - are you ready to answer?
Welcome to Your Soul Called. A podcast for those feeling like there's something more. More alignment, more purpose, more peace, more connection, more joy. I'm Nicole your host. Each week we explore the invisible things that shape our lives, our intuition, our energy, our emotions and the lessons we came here to learn.
Nicole:Through personal stories, meaningful conversations and practical tools my hope is that every episode helps you trust yourself a little bit more, love yourself a little deeper and remember something your soul has always known. So without further ado let's dive in! Happy Friday and welcome back! Today's episode is called the hardest chapters might be your greatest gifts. I was thinking about this because I feel like I am kind of in a hard chapter right now and I know a lot of you listening may also be and I have this perspective shift that happened to me kind of recently in the last two years that has made this harder chapter of life feel more purposeful and I wanted to share that with you because I think it could help you as well.
Nicole:So I used to feel like life was happening to me and it kind of felt like this wild river that I was just on just sort of like floating along and then sometimes there would be these huge rapids that would just suck the life out of me and almost kill me and I didn't see them coming and they came out of nowhere and I wasn't really in control of this river I was just floating down it and the only thing I felt like I could really control was my attitude and I did you know I would reframe things I would try to see the good in everything I would try to find the lessons I would tell myself to be grateful I would see the bright side of things or at least try to And I think this attitude of being happy go lucky, I thought that was like the way that you got through life, you know, positively. And ultimately, I kind of believed though that I was just along for the ride. Whatever happened happened. I was supposed to see the best out of it. And sometimes you know life just sucks and I guess as a whole I believed that life was hard that life was unpredictable and I never really stopped to question if there was another way to look at it because maybe I just wasn't in the place yet to understand that and I think that the belief of life is hard that you don't really have control over it that it's unpredictable it gave away a lot of my power.
Nicole:Because I saw life as just happening to me, then I'm constantly reacting. You know, I'm just waiting to see what happens next, what is going to pull up in my face around that corner and I'm trying to survive each thing one at a time and recently I've started seeing this differently so it it's not that the actual events changed or should change it's my perspective that's changed and the way that I move through more difficult eras of my life Kinda like the one I'm going through right now. So if you listen through the past couple of episodes, know I've been going through a kind of a difficult time with money and building this house. But this perspective shift has really helped me to stay grounded when life feels completely overwhelming and it's given me this deeper sense of life isn't happening to me and rather even though it sucks and is hard it's happening for me. Now this is where it's gonna get a little woo woo but if you're listening to this podcast maybe you are a little woo woo so stay with me because even if you don't believe everything I'm about to say I there's something really powerful in the perspective shift that I'm going to give you.
Nicole:We all have a physical self. Our body, our human self is made up of different energy, right? There's our physical self, our emotional self, our energetic self. And then at the deepest part of who we are, there's our soul. It's like the essence of who we are, the specialness, the uniqueness, the thing that makes us us at our core, our soul.
Nicole:There's a part of us that feels bigger than our personality or our circumstances or our fears or even this lifetime. There's another part called your higher self. Maybe you've heard that before but that's like the wisest version of us. The part of us that can see the bigger picture that is disconnected from ego. It can see everything that our human self can't.
Nicole:It's the wisest version of us. The part of us that, you know, is the truest part of us that always does the right thing without any of the human stuff that comes along. It's the part that isn't operating from fear or ego or all the stories and beliefs we've picked up along the way. A part of us that has a bigger perspective on our lives. So that's our higher self.
Nicole:But here's the thing. When we're born, we come into this life and we're just this pure ball of love. Right? We're so connected still to god, to source, to light because we just got born into this life. And there's no part of us that believes that we're not enough.
Nicole:A baby doesn't wonder if she's successful enough, or she doesn't wonder if she's special enough. She doesn't wonder if she's pretty enough. She doesn't wonder if she could do things better or differently or should have done things better. She just is. She is completely herself fully connected to her light, her soul, to her specialness.
Nicole:And somehow, as we grow up, we start collecting beliefs. Usually beliefs we pick up from our parents or whoever we spent the most time around as kids. And we're told who we're supposed to to be. We're told how life's supposed to feel. We believe that whatever, you know, our parents believe, we pick up on those beliefs.
Nicole:Because we're so open and so receptive and so we are emotional human beings we pick up on everything around us especially as young kids because we want to belong we experience rejection disappointment we get hurt we experience loss we learn what love looks like from other people around us, we learn what failure means and slowly over time we become disconnected from that original version of our self. The one who knew herself, who felt fully lovable, who felt powerful, who felt special, who knew her specialness. Somewhere along the way we forget who we are and we start believing things like life is hard I'm on my own it's all on me I have to control everything in order to stay safe if something goes wrong it's my fault I've failed Okay, so here's the perspective shift I've been talking about. Because what if there's actually a bigger picture? What if the diff like the most difficult eras of your life, the most difficult moments, what if they're not actually random?
Nicole:What if our biggest challenges and the most difficult hardest times are actually there for us to create the exact growth, strength, awareness, compassion, courage, wisdom that our soul came here to experience. What if your higher self can see something that your human self can't? And what if some of these moments that feel like they're completely breaking you are actually helping you to grow. They're changing you, molding you, bringing you back to yourself. Now I want to be really clear here because I'm not saying that you deserved horrible things to happen to you or that being betrayed is okay or that you should be grateful for trauma.
Nicole:I'm not saying that. Some of the things that happen in this life are painful, unfair, devastating and wrong. Period. But the experience doesn't have to be meaningless. You can take something that hurts you deeply and create something beautiful for it.
Nicole:You can see the beauty in it. You can be someone you couldn't have become if you hadn't have gone through that. And that distinction is really important because sometimes the gift isn't what happened. It's who you become because it happened. So think of some of the most difficult, hardest, traumatizing, terrible level 10 trauma seasons of your life.
Nicole:I'm talking about the stuff that maybe you don't say out loud over coffee. Maybe you've never even ever said it out loud. Maybe it was your childhood. Maybe it was a divorce. Maybe someone you loved fucked you over so bad.
Nicole:Maybe you lost someone that was so, you know, important to you. Maybe you went through an illness. Maybe your business partner screwed you over. Maybe you lost a friendship that was, you know, meant so much to you. Maybe there was a season where you genuinely thought, I can't do it anymore.
Nicole:I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. It's too much. I'm broken. That's the kind of, you know, era that I'm talking about moment, you know, experience. But somehow, even though you felt that way, I can't do it.
Nicole:It's too much. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. You got through it. And if you look back now, who you have become because of that exact thing, like, that is what I'm talking about. Maybe you became stronger.
Nicole:Boundaries. Maybe you learned how to finally say no. Maybe you stopped abandoning yourself to make everyone else in the world happy. Maybe you became more compassionate towards others and towards yourself. Maybe you learned how to trust your intuition that was talking to you all along.
Nicole:Maybe you learned what you actually wanted. Maybe you learned what you would never ever ever ever ever tolerate again. Maybe you found your voice. Maybe you found your purpose. Maybe you became the person who can now help a million other people going through the exact same thing that once broke you.
Nicole:Now that's what I'm talking about here. It's like something that changed you and made you become this bigger version of yourself. And that's something that I'm kind of practicing right now because I'm in the middle of this hard season. I know a lot of you guys are too and when I'm in it I don't always understand it. And it's so easy to complain, to cry, to feel sorry for yourself, to beat up on yourself, to lose yourself.
Nicole:And when you're in it, you're really in it. Your emotions are always high. Right? And we don't often have the ability to look at everything and say, oh, I see why this is happening. You know?
Nicole:And it can feel frustrating, scary, overwhelming. And sometimes you can be like, I don't whatever the fuck this is, I don't want the lesson. Why is this happening to me? But instead of immediately asking why is this happening to me? I have been trying to ask what if this is happening for me?
Nicole:What is this exact situation asking me to become? What is it teaching me? What part of myself is this thing calling forward? What growth is it creating in myself? And these questions they change everything because suddenly I'm not being the person being thrown around by the river.
Nicole:I'm participating in my own growth, my own evolution. I'm looking for the meaning. I'm looking for the growth. I'm looking for the version of me that's trying to emerge from this, and I'm connecting with her in real time. And I can promise you that these big, shitty, scary, hard moments, they're always for you.
Nicole:The biggest growth, they always happen during the most difficult eras of time. And when I think about some of the most difficult, the hardest experiences of my own life, you know, and I've gone through a bunch of them, I can see how they were all actually set up for me. One of those experiences was this relationship that I had like right after high school through college for like four years. We'll just call this dude Bob. That's not his real name.
Nicole:But it was like my first big relationship. We moved in together right away. He flew out from Hawaii to be with me in college. Bob took advantage of me he lied to me he manipulated me he emotionally fucked with me he physically hurt me he made me question myself I think this is the biggest thing he made me question myself and then blamed me for what was happening he made me question my sanity constantly and I felt like I honestly lost myself and at the time I couldn't possibly have looked at that relationship and thought, wow. What a beautiful opportunity for growth.
Nicole:I couldn't do that because I was in it and I was lost and I was sad and hurt and broken and confused. Know? And when I look back now, I can see what came out of that experience and how that changed the trajectory of my life. But in the moment, it was really hard to do. But some of the gifts and skill sets that I got from that exact relationship from that period of time being so difficult were like I learned what being treated badly actually felt like.
Nicole:I learned what manipulation looked like. I learned how quickly you can lose yourself when you stop trusting your own reality. I learned what happens when you don't trust your intuition, your inner guidance system. And eventually, learned like the biggest lesson was I learned my worth, my value. After that relationship, I made a decision within myself that I would never ever ever allow someone to treat me that way.
Nicole:And I didn't. Other gifts I got as I learned like I was able to recognize and deeply appreciate a good relationship like the one I have now. I don't think I would have been a match for my husband now if I didn't appreciate all he had to give. I needed to get to that place where I knew I deserved that kind of good and that I appreciate it on the biggest level and he deserved that too so I don't think I would have been a match for him had I not gone through what I went through with Bob. It made me more compassionate and made me less judgmental because I know what it feels like to be that version of myself the version that was sad and hurt and broken the version who was doing the best that she could with what she knew at the time and I can look at her with so much love now That experience, you know, it also developed my skill sets and my strengths that are very much a part of who I am today.
Nicole:And some of those are like self respect, self awareness. It gave me more of that. It made me really step into self respect, understanding who I was. It gave me courage, resilience, intuition, the deepest level of empathy, and self confidence. It taught me the ability to see both sides of the situation and ultimately you know it led me to meet my husband who is the complete opposite of Bob.
Nicole:It allowed me to really really appreciate him and give him the kind of relationship that he deserved and that I deserved. But I wouldn't have appreciated what I have now if I hadn't been through that. The other part that it taught me is like the empathy part. It taught me to really be empathetic toward other people that are going through it with little judgement because when you're in it, it's impossible to see out and I get that on the deepest level. So would I choose that relationship again?
Nicole:No, definitely not. I don't think I'd be a match for it anyway. But I can look at that part of my life that difficult hard era and you know feel proud of it proud of myself in it I can see how that whole relationship was set up for me how it changed me how much growth I was able to experience because of it And that's the perspective shift that I'm offering you because not everything happens for a reason in some neat easy to understand way. And sometimes life gives us really really hard moments. But these are the times of the most immense big growth you are expanding there's something bigger at play here and who you are becoming in this very moment is so much more than you can even imagine or understand but you need to know that it's all for you.
Nicole:And maybe just maybe there's a part of you that can feel this even when your human self doesn't. So I want to give you a little homework this is something that I've done myself but I actually want you to do this I want you to journal it out on pen and paper because I think it'll have a profound impact on how you view your life and everything that's happened up until this point and how you get out of the place of it's happening to me and see how big things could be happening for you even the big negative things. So here's what I want you to do think of four of the hardest most difficult level 10 trauma experiences of your life not the mildly annoying ones the big ones the ones you don't go telling everyone because they're just too painful The experiences that you can still feel in your body that still make you sad or even feel hurt. The ones that you aren't sharing over coffee because they're like still painful. Okay so write each one down and then instead of asking why did this happen to me?
Nicole:I want you to ask what did this experience create in me? Did it make me stronger? Did it give me more empathy? Did it make me find myself? Also ask what did it teach me?
Nicole:What strengths and skill sets did I develop? How did it change the way I see myself? How did it change the way I see other people? What did I learn through this experience that I could not have learned any other way? Because there is always something.
Nicole:And then the biggest question, if my higher self had a bigger perspective than I did and chose this for me, why might this experience have been chosen? Why was it a part of my path? So if my higher self chose this for me why? Why? What did I get out of it?
Nicole:What gifts? What skill sets? How did I become more me in this process? You don't have to come up with the perfect answer just get super curious and see what comes up. Journal about each single one.
Nicole:Four different things from your past not something you're going through now from your past because I want you to see how things in the past how they all were happening for you and they seemed like terrible terrible you know awful times experiences but they were actually set up with a purpose you know they were set up for you but why? I want you to explore explore that spend like thirty minutes doing this and it'll start to make you see the big times in your life that feel, you know, hard differently. And and just get really curious about everything that comes up. I think when we start doing this something really beautiful happens. We stop looking at our lives as a collection of things that have gone wrong and we start seeing them as chapters.
Nicole:Some chapters were beautiful, some were heartbreaking, some created immense growth, some made you step into this bigger version of yourself, some we would have never chosen but they were all perfect. Every chapter helped you reconnect to your soul. It made you more you. It shaped the person sitting here today. And maybe the bigger, the deeper lesson is that life isn't a test.
Nicole:That you're constantly failing. You're not being thrown along the rapids. You're not behind. You're not being punished. You're not taking for a wild river ride.
Nicole:Because well, that's life. Right? Maybe the difficult season in it's not evidence that you've taken a wrong turn or that you're doing the wrong thing or that you're making a mistake. Maybe you are growing you are becoming becoming more connected more evolved more you. Maybe something inside of you is growing and expanding that couldn't have grown in any other way.
Nicole:So if you're in one of those seasons right now where life feels heavy, you don't understand why it's happening, you're looking around and wondering why is this happening to me? I want you to take a deep breath you don't have to know all the answers today you don't have to understand the entire big picture And you definitely don't have to force yourself to be grateful for something that still hurts. But maybe you can hold on to this one tiny possibility that what if this is happening for me? What if there's something being developed in me right now? A strength, a boundary, a new perspective, a deeper trust, a new direction, a version of you that is more fully you.
Nicole:And maybe you can't see it yet but that doesn't mean it's not happening. And maybe when we get our power back, not by controlling what happens to us, but by trusting that whatever happens, we have the ability to grow through it, to find meaning in it, and to become more of ourselves in the process and because of it. Right? So life might still be a wild river. There may still be rapids and there may almost guaranteed be moments that are gonna knock the wind out of you, make you feel like you're drowning, and all of that is a part of this life we signed up for, but maybe you're not just being carried downstream.
Nicole:Maybe you're learning how to navigate the river. Maybe you're learning how to trust yourself and maybe the person that you are becoming right now is exactly who you've been trying to find all along. So if you're willing don't just do this in your head okay I want you to think of four really really hard difficult times experiences write them down journal them spend thirty minutes write them down in a journal and I think you'll be surprised by the person you discover when you look at your life through this lens. You're gonna write down the four things that are for really difficult times the ones that you don't really talk about and ask yourself what did this experience create for me? What did it teach me?
Nicole:What strengths did I develop? What skill sets or gifts did I get out of this? How did it change the way I see myself? Or how did it change the way I see others? What did I learn that I couldn't have learned in any other way?
Nicole:And the most important question why did my higher self choose this for me? Okay that's what I've got for you guys today if you actually do this I think it'll really change your life because it really did change mine and I actually did it for like 15 situations but I'm just giving you four because I think that's easy you can definitely think of four that were that probably pop into the top of your head for just really tough times And this perspective shift of feeling like even when you're going through the most difficult moments that there's something bigger that's happening here. There's a level of growth that is for you. It makes things feel so much better and doesn't make it less hard. It still feels hard.
Nicole:It still feels scary. Still feels overwhelming. But it feels like good to know that there's more, that you're supported, that things are happening for you, that you're not alone and it takes you back to that core feeling, that core knowing of how special, how loved, how lovable, how supported you always are. Alright, I hope you have a great weekend and I will see you all again next week. Bye for now!