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Welcome to From My Father with Tangie Callahan.
Take your shoes off + stay awhile.
Grab a cup of coffee—or a matcha—and join Tangie for honest conversations about faith, life, healing, purpose + everything in between. Through real stories, real questions + biblical truth, you’ll discover the Father’s heart for every season.
Whether you’re navigating a difficult season, searching for answers, growing in your faith, or simply longing for more of God, this is a place where you can pull up a chair, be encouraged + be reminded that you’re not walking alone.
New episodes feature heartfelt conversations, practical wisdom, personal experiences + the timeless truth of God’s Word—all designed to point you back to the Father.
Real life. Real questions. The Father’s heart.
The conversations begin THIS AUGUST. 🤍
Welcome to From My Father podcast.
I'm your host, Tangie Callahan, and I'm so grateful you're here.
My prayer is that every conversation points you to the heart of the Father, reminding you that every good and perfect gift comes
or taking some quiet time for yourself.
I pray you leave every episode knowing him more and experiencing his love in a deeper way.
Now take off your shoes and stay a while.
Let's get started.
Hi, guys.
Welcome back to the From My Father podcast.
We are going to continue this week on body image and going a little bit deeper.
I want to welcome my girls here again for part two.
Last episode was so incredible.
I loved it.
And I want us to dig a little bit deeper and talk about...
I don't know, moms, you know, how we can better, you know, deal with our daughters and the things that they go through and, you know, what we can do.
So if you haven't watched part one, please make sure you do so, so that part two will make sense.
So yeah, we basically just, we're going to dive right in.
You guys ready?
Yes.
All right.
Last week, we talked about
basically body image and the way I was raised, how that affected you guys.
And I think Addie brought in some things that were really good about cycles and the patterns that we always tend to go to.
Even though maybe what I said to you wasn't, it was a compliment, it was like a genuine compliment, but because of the cycle,
that, you know, your brain is warped to, like I talked about warped last week, we automatically think something else and we're not able to receive the good stuff.
I guess I want to start today and ask you, what do you wish every mom knew?
Which is a packed, I'm sure that's a packed question because you could go in a lot of different directions.
But like, what's the first thing that comes to your mind that you wish or maybe that you wish I knew?
For me, I guess the first thing that comes to my mind is we aren't going to do as you say.
We're going to do as you do.
So what we are watching you say over yourself and your actions and what you eat, and I'm not going to eat that today because I ate too much yesterday.
Or this or that.
And we're watching your actions and how you're handling different situations.
And so when you're telling us things, we hear those words, but we follow more so what you're doing rather than what I'm saying.
Yeah.
That makes so much sense.
Mm hmm.
Um, that was really good Addie.
I would say, I would say to that vulnerability opens the door to vulnerability.
So if you are open and honest to us about what you're going through and what you're walking through, that opens the door for us to feel like we can be honest about what we're dealing with in our life.
And to just give us the space to feel.
I know sometimes moms feel like they don't really get the inside scoop on their daughters' lives and they really want to be in the in and know everything.
True.
I remember when you did not add me to your close friends.
It hurt me so bad.
And I found out that everybody was...
everybody else was your close friend and i wasn't yeah no that's not it that's on instagram one time almost like why am i not on your close friends aren't we close friends and we are but it's different but you're on it now we're older now when i was younger i was like absolutely not it's just a bunch of memes
Or inside jokes.
Here's for instance.
Sometimes I'll put on my close friend something and mom will swipe up and be like, what does this mean?
I'm like, this is exactly why you hurt.
This is why you can't because I need every one of my close friends to know.
Or she'll say, take this down.
But it really isn't personal.
We love you so much.
It's not personal at all.
You just have to be in on the humor.
Do you have a close friend?
You're not on mine either.
Wow.
You're such a favorite.
You're such a favorite.
Well, sir.
I felt bad.
Don't lie.
Everyone who's on your close friends is going to call you out.
I can't believe that you did not put me on your close friends.
No, but mom, I'm going to put you on there today.
Okay, thank you.
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but like it brought back a memory that when I found out as your mom that I wasn't on your close friends like that.
Yeah, that would honestly for me as a mom now.
Thank you.
I get that because if Royce ever didn't have me on his or Callum, that would feel so personal.
To be fair, it took Rhalyn two years to even add me and Addie.
It's okay.
It's not just me.
But that was when Raelynn was off in her college years and she thought she was better than us.
I was.
What I was saying is I think it's easy for your daughters, for us to be more vulnerable with you if when we're honest about something, you don't react in a certain way.
That makes us not want to tell you things anymore.
yeah that's that's good and i feel like that would be really hard as a mom like which i think goes back to like learning each of your kids needs which is like what i would say is like and like different seasons like i can't imagine like having all four of us and we're all in different seasons and different walks of life but like
being super intentional with, like, each one and, like, discovering each kid's need.
Right, that is good.
And, like, each kid, like, Addie reacts to this when I do this, and Payten reacts, like, really, like, not a one-size-fits-all type of... I can't remember which... But you said that last episode.
Yeah, which book it was from Lisa Bevere, but...
That would be great to be able to push it right now, but I cannot remember it.
We'll let you guys know that later.
But there was a book I was reading of Lisa's and she said, God does not love us unconditionally.
And I had to, you know how you back up and you're like, did I read that right?
And she's like, God does not love us unconditionally.
That's all I've ever heard.
She said, God loves us uniquely.
And she said, when you have your children...
There is a unique love for each one.
And so that has always stuck with me ever since I read that.
I thought that was so good because it's right.
It's so true.
Addie would react different than like how pay would react and you would react different than either of them.
You know, so it's like knowing and that's hard for a mom.
You know, I go through your names when I try to call you.
It's like I finally get to the right one.
And like, I feel like for me, it took a lot more for you to get me to talk.
Oh my goodness, you were the most closed person.
Like Addie, you could say one thing and she would just spew.
And you're so much like your dad that when you do talk, you're blunt.
And Addie's blunt, but she does talk more.
Addie's more blunt in like a rude way.
Wait, tell me about me.
That's not true.
We're not talking about you.
No, but you guys tell the truth.
If I begin to talk, I begin to weep.
No, I love that.
And I'd rather you be completely honest.
Like if I ask you a question, like I'd rather you be just straight up give it to me.
Like, because y'all know I would always call y'all to my room and ask you what an outfit looked like.
Payten, she would say it looks beautiful regardless.
And I meant it because you never looked fat.
You never looked big.
No, you would say that every time.
Addie would go, and... Oh, the only thing I would... Rhalyn would go...
But you can always count on my answer.
If I didn't like it, I'd say, Mom, that's not in to lie to you.
But I have another thing to say.
Okay.
When you, like, I guess for moms out there, if their daughters or sons are bringing anything to them, like, vulnerably or anything...
Like when they're opening up about that, it takes a lot of courage for them, especially if it's something they know they're not supposed to be doing or it's something that's hard.
A confession.
It's hard to admit those things when it's going to be met with punishment rather than compassion.
Oh, wow.
And so I think.
That's really good.
Or like if you even have in the back of your head at all that there might feel a certain type of way.
Because obviously your actions need consequences as a kid.
But I think coming first with that compassion helps to be like, OK, now, so what are the consequences to these actions?
But more so like I'm not going to punish you.
Punishment feels like it's sending you away or it's like, you know.
Or it's not caring about your feelings and like how the situation made you feel.
Well, 1 John says perfect love casts out fear, even the fear of punishment.
And so when that perfect love is there, you don't have the fear of punishment because it's met first with compassion and forgiveness.
And like, it's not you go do this.
You're by yourself.
I'm up here.
It's let's walk this out together.
And so I think that's so good.
Kids knowing they have like, yes, I know your parents aren't your friends, but kids knowing they have a friend.
I think a safe place.
A safe place is a good way to put it.
So they can.
Walk this out together because loneliness, I feel like, is a big thing for kids is they feel like they have to do it by themselves or alone because they don't want to tell their parents because they're scared they're just going to be met with discipline and punishment rather than understanding and care.
In fact, I have thought about that.
Like, if I could go back as a mom, I would try to focus more on your worth.
Versus your performance.
Because I felt like everything I was correcting, you shouldn't have acted like that.
Or, you know, I can't believe you said that.
You know, and then you, you know, my mom washed my mouth out with soap plenty of times.
She literally, did I do it to you?
You did it to me too.
Not me.
I had that taste in my mouth for days.
Do you remember what you said or is it not appropriate?
Yeah, I can't say it.
Okay.
so tell us later yeah I um do tell I feel like I focused on everything y'all did versus who you are why I didn't speak to the heart and God's grace met me thank you Jesus because y'all are incredible you know young ladies you love the Lord and
It's like my big thing is I know I failed with that.
And I think that would be one of the things that I would say is focus on their worth, who they are.
You're a child of God because you could easily, and I think some of you might have slipped into this in certain seasons, but you could have slipped into behavior modification where you
All of us.
Okay, I checked the box.
Mom's not going to be mad, you know.
I forgot which one of you.
I asked you to clean your room, and I looked, and the closet was completely full of this.
That was Payten, I think.
Everything.
I don't think that was Payten.
I remember that was Payten one time.
I remember.
Literally, everything was full in the closet.
I probably did it most times.
I did it once.
You did it eight times.
And I always clean my room, spick and span.
Right, Mom?
And then I would compare y'all to Rhay, and I'd go.
Exactly.
Now, look, y'all need to shadow Rhay.
And I would say.
We can't all be perfect.
And that's a stone.
That created a stone.
But I was going to say that you were probably feeling the pressure of like everybody else and like your life and you being like a pastor's wife and like feeling like your kids should.
Operate and behave a certain type of way.
So that was your lens.
And then we were already feeling that pressure in all different ways.
So it was just like everybody's how we appeared to people, how we appeared to people, like what we act like when we're around people at church and like not that it was a that through the years.
there's only been one instance through the 28 years of ministry that someone has asked us where you guys were.
Like, why weren't you in, like, a service or something?
Probably because we're always there.
I feel like Bridge Church has just always been gracious with you guys.
And, like, I just love that about our church.
Like, you don't feel like this expectation, but I didn't want to get you off track.
Well, I'm saying, like, I think we've—
And we've gotten better.
But as kids, I think we all feel it.
Even though maybe it wasn't what they were putting on us, but you just feel that you have to live up to a certain expectation.
Do you feel like a lot of times we...
you know, as moms, we should get in your world more.
Yes.
Like I always tried to follow you guys on whatever social media and y'all didn't get phones until what?
10 or 11, which I would never like if y'all hadn't been in sports, I think I would have waited till like you were 15 or 16.
But y'all would have begged.
It was middle school.
Yeah, for me.
And I think one of the biggest things is I wanted to follow y'all.
We gave it to you because you were in sports and had to stay after school.
But that phone was like the world was at your fingertips.
And if I could go back, I probably would wait.
But I wanted to get in your world.
I would say that for moms.
Would you say that?
Yeah, but I think our actual world, like I don't care about social media, like if you were there.
Like go in your room, sit down in your room, talk.
Doing things we like to do, like taking us to go do things that we love and hanging out with us.
That whole like get to know the child as an individual, not like a sibling, a part of all four together.
We're all going to do this together.
Like individualistic things.
But also I was with the individualistic stuff is like learning your separate kids like love languages.
Like Rhalyn's not physical touch whatsoever an ounce.
No, but I have a story about Rhay.
But like the way she receives love is not the way I receive love.
That's true.
Because I need eight hugs a day to know you love me.
And Rhalyn, if you give her one.
Addie, that's a lot.
Well, that was exaggerated.
That was exaggerated.
But I just mean, like, I love physical touch.
Yeah.
And Rhalyn's the opposite.
So I felt like I didn't get a lot of that growing up with our families, just not like that anyway.
You don't think I'm physical touch?
I don't think.
I come by and I rub you.
Rub my arm around you.
I'm like, I'll put my arm around you or... Okay, the older you've gotten and the older we've gotten, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, the more you've gotten like physical touch with us.
I think I had so much on my mind.
I think so too.
I don't feel like we all came to mind, like came to, we're all just like... You know, it's like you try to stay on schedule, you feel like you're trying to do everything and...
I do feel like when it's time to put y'all to bed, when it was time to put y'all to bed, did you feel like that it was just a special time, like we would pray with you?
Yeah, I liked bedtime.
Me and Addie.
I don't remember.
me and Addie used to stay on the couch and be still so y'all wouldn't notice we were up past our bedtime he would talk for like an hour after you put us to but but mom what was the story about me oh you were like major like teenager uh moment like he was a mean boy you were so um isolated from me like you would not you were it was like you were ill
Has it horned it?
Just constantly.
And so I was laying in my bed one night and it was like you were ill and walking around or whatever.
And I heard the Holy Spirit say, go get Rhalyn.
Oh, I remember.
Yeah.
He said, go get Rhalyn and just hold her.
And do you remember?
I know she was like this.
You were like giving me all the noises.
And I was like, come here.
Come here.
I remember.
Come here.
I used to hate when you would say that.
And I'd say, get up here.
Get up here.
Right here.
And I put, we did like spoons where, you know, your little romp was right here.
And I got behind you and I wrapped my arms around your little tummy.
And you were probably...
I remember being mad.
I would say, what, 12 or 13?
And I wrapped my arms around you, and we watched a movie.
And all I did was hold you.
And all of a sudden, I looked.
I kind of moved, and there was a tear coming down.
And I will never forget it.
It was exactly what she needed.
You needed that spoon.
I know you can do it now.
She needed it.
So I think moms have to be super aware, like not so in their own world that, you know, you forget these babies are going through their own stuff.
Well, with you saying that, like, you don't know.
You're like, I don't know where I was at when I was thinking.
What would you go back and want us to know at that age?
Like, going into from kids to teenagers, like, what would you want us to know about your life so that, like, we can look at it as more of a perspective of grace rather than just like...
She didn't care.
Yeah.
Like, give us perspective into your life, I guess, at that point.
I would never say that there was never a point that I didn't care.
But I would tell you as a mom, like with your own kids, that nothing is worth missing a moment with your children.
Not one ounce of ministry, because your kids are your greatest ministry.
Your kids are your greatest legacy.
If if as a mom, you know, I'm doing everything else at the church and, you know, people are getting saved and people's lives are being changed.
All that is very important.
But if I'm missing what's right in front of me, which is my precious babies and where they're at.
So I would say I would speak to you and say.
Nothing is more important than being present in that moment with your kids.
So in that, if you're a mom who feels called to those things, then where's the balance in like doing ministry and doing things for God because you still feel called, but then...
You also have children.
So I think— Because you were obviously still doing ministry, not to the capacity that you are now.
Right.
It looked a lot different.
Thank God I had a husband that honored the season we were in because there's a lot of husbands that really push their wife to do more and more and more.
You've got to be more.
You've got to do all this.
But my husband understood the season, and he wanted me to raise you guys together.
and be there.
So what I would do is I would just balance it and I'd put boundaries.
So like I would still do church work.
I worked from home a lot.
But when you guys were awake and it wasn't nap times and, you know, when you were at school, I would try to get a lot of it done.
But when you came home, I wanted to be fully present.
And so I think the biggest distraction, which leads us into where I want to go next, the biggest distraction right now is our phones.
Yeah.
And.
I feel like even our kids, like I was watching my grands the other day and they know when we when we pick up the phone like they they're like, what is going on on that device?
They're not saying that, but they're in their little minds, you know, that they are thinking that that's captivating.
my parents' attention like constantly.
I mean, we're doing stuff with one hand, but with the other hand, we're looking at our phone.
And so I think that's the biggest challenge in this day and time is that when your kids are home, you got to be fully present.
You know, y'all know me.
I put the phone away at 530 every day because of the blue light and it affecting my sleep.
But I feel like and I'm not telling you everybody's got to do that.
But I feel like wait till your kids go to bed.
Then if you want to be on your device, but wear blue light glasses because it will affect your sleep.
You know, I just feel like all of the stuff can wait until your kids, you know, are in the bed or whatever.
I do want to move forward and ask you guys this.
how you think social media and filters have made body image easier and harder.
Um, I feel like when social media first came around, it was a lot of like the facade and like a lot of the filters and a lot of people doing too much.
And it's kind of like transitioned into like what's more attractive now is like the more real and like the authenticity of somebody.
So I think like
Obviously, you still feel a cultural pressure to like put a filter on something or feel like it needs to or not post a picture because it doesn't look right.
Like you feel like it should look.
But I think overall as a society, like we see that people are craving for influencers and people on social media to just be them, their real selves.
And so like.
ultimately like it did shape you know I feel like it's a comparison thing like when we get on social media we can quickly compare like we've had a terrible day and we feel like this and like all of these other people are living their best lives and so it becomes like a comparison but overall I think it's become you know neutralized where we can like be real on it but there is always that temptation of like what I put out has to be my best foot forward right yeah
I don't think it created comparison.
It just amplified it with some things like, you know, obviously it didn't create it because we've always compared ourself, but there's something about social media and social, our phones hear us talking.
So then your algorithm changes depending on, so like body image, then you'll start getting everything on body image and
You know, if you if I tell Archie Ray that my lips are starting to get wrinkly, like everything the next day is on.
Right.
you know what I mean?
Like Botox and yeah, my algorithm.
And it's like, man, it, everything's listening to us.
And I think the danger in that, like as young people and even older people is like, that begins to begin, that begins to be like your paradigm on like how you see things and like the only information that you're consuming rather than like getting it from the Lord and like going to scriptures and seeing what God says about something like,
That becomes like when you're feeling a certain type of way you just go back to like what you saw on social media or like you go to social media to like try to find a solution rather than.
Yeah.
And I read a book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.
And it talks about it's a lot of practicals and a lot of like information.
But it talks about how as a society, we were never meant to be viewing and peering that closely into every single person's life.
Like before social media, there was no way you could do that.
Like you couldn't look.
into someone's life in australia like that far away and see their day-to-day life and what they're doing wow but it's caused so much comparison and it's just like amplified those things like you said and it talks about how we're such like a microwave society and how we just want quick fixes and and it's that dopamine rush and all that stuff and for body image the quick fix of
oh my lips don't look good like you said let me get Botox or the weight loss drugs I don't look the way I want to let me use Ozempic yeah and do all these things to it becomes like all the ads and I'm not saying that there aren't
There there isn't like we don't condemn anybody that that does it because there are situations that I feel like are, you know, they need something like that.
But I do feel like we just we fall into that so fast and it's like the first thing we go to.
Well, that's never the root.
It's never the root of, oh, I just want to use it.
There's always a deeper root of, oh, I don't look the way I need to, so let me use this to get to where I need to be and look like them.
It's never just, you know...
Let me get some filler.
It's never just what it is, like, on the surface, but also, like, where, like, what areas of our life are we not fully relying on the Holy Spirit?
Yeah.
And, like, what can fasting and relying on the Lord do for your body versus a pill or a shot or whatever, or whatever, you know, culture is saying you need to do.
Yeah.
But it's constantly fed to us on social media.
They're not going to tell you to, you know, rely on the Holy Spirit, you know.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I think...
at least for my generation right now, there's a, there's much more comparison, not really by the way we look, but like what we have and what like our life looks like.
Like even yesterday, for example, someone DM'd me and it was a girl that I used to be, that I used to know.
And she said, you and your sisters look like you all have it figured out and you all have perfect men of God.
How does this happen?
And so I think,
I think a lot of people in my generation are more so struggling with like what our life looks like, not necessarily like what they don't have and what we do have, if that makes sense.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Yeah.
And it's so hard.
People don't see the prayer that went into that.
I started praying over your spouses when you guys were little.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I prayed over Ethan, my son's wife, when he was a little boy.
Because they're being raised.
They're the same age, around the same age as your kids.
And so you start praying over that early.
Like, Rhalyn, you and Micah should start praying over Royce.
Oh, I do.
Royce and Callum.
I can't even imagine them getting married right now.
It breaks my heart.
But I don't know.
It's like...
It's so true that people do peer in and they judge and then they're like, oh, they just had everything easy.
They don't see the travail like as a mom, like on your knees as you pray for your kids and the times that didn't look so great, you know.
So, yeah, that's really good.
But also comparison doesn't affect the person you're comparing yourself to.
It only affects you.
And with I think that's why they call like Gen Z and Gen Alpha like the most anxious and depressed generation is because comparison is the thief of joy.
And so our generation doesn't have joy because they're comparing themselves to everyone.
And if I don't have that, then I'm not good enough.
Or if I don't have that, then I look poor.
Or if I don't have that, then I'm not pretty.
And so it's stealing the joy of just who they were made in the image of God.
It's stealing the joy and the confidence that they could have in just them being themselves.
And like that book said, us peering into everyone's lives.
seeing what they have was never meant to be a thing yeah like it's not it's not good for our brains because as like our flesh wants to compare our flesh wants what other people have and so and people have like the end all be all like if i can just find the man of god or like i can just get married and all these things but it's like you have to become who god has called you to be without all of the other things because if you're not whole and who god has called you to be
Yes, you can find a man and get married, but you're not going to feel satisfied in who you are until you're receiving that from the Lord.
And that benchmark will always be moving.
Yeah, it's always going to be something else.
So good.
Let me ask you guys this.
If your daughter came to you one day hating her body, what would you tell her?
think I'd just weep yeah literally well I mean I don't know what I would tell her in that moment but I feel like it would be a reflection of like I haven't done my job in a way and like a self-reflection of you know how can we move forward and like did you hear her response add
Because her response was immediately what I missed.
And remember our conversation?
I immediately went, what have I done wrong?
Oh, my goodness.
And not that I wouldn't validate her in that moment, obviously, but I'm saying my afterthoughts would be like, how did we get to this point?
But in the moment, obviously, just referring her back to scriptures and encouraging her that everybody is different and everybody's body is different and we're not all supposed to look the same way.
Yeah.
I think for me, I would probably try to meet her and what she's feeling because I know when you're feeling that stuff yourself, it feels so real and it feels consuming.
And it is.
Because it is real, but that stuff feels like it consumes you.
Yeah, it's your whole thought pattern.
Every thought.
Everything.
So I would try to meet her in that.
So that she feels like and listen and so that she doesn't feel like she's going crazy for feeling that.
That's really good.
Because even sometimes like giving them scriptures and.
saying those things can feel like quick fixes to deep roots.
Oh, that's so true, Dad.
And so I think it takes more than that.
It just takes like walking it out with them.
And I think after your kids tell you something like that,
I think you should keep checking in on them.
It's not a one-time conversation and now we're good.
It's checking in.
Checking in and not in a condemning way, just being like, hey, how are you feeling about that?
How are your thoughts?
Because all of that comes from what you've been dwelling on and thinking about.
Your thought life.
If they get to the point where they can say it out loud, it's probably been going on in their mind for a long time.
A long time, especially for women.
Obviously, you want to be a safe place for them, but it takes a lot of courage to tell anybody about your struggles, especially at that age.
So good.
So like to know like this has been consuming their thoughts for a long time.
So like what can we do like on a daily basis that's going to renew their thought patterns and help them kind of get out of that.
And what's insecurity?
Insecurity is having no security.
And so giving them a steady ground, like a firm foundation.
Yeah.
Like just in your place that feels secure, like in your relationships.
That's really good.
That feels secure to share the insecure places.
They need somewhere that feels safe and steady.
And letting them know that they're not the only one going through this, like sharing your own personal experiences.
Yeah.
I think no matter what, even if you're the most confident person in the world, like, you've had moments where you've been insecure.
And so just making her feel like, you know, you're not the only one going through this.
Like, I'm with you.
I still struggle.
Like, you being vulnerable about your struggles is going to help her overcome her struggles.
I do feel that.
And I feel like it's very important for my daughter personally
to hear me apologize and to say that I did miss it in this area.
Because I think there were things that I did say that, man, if I could have gone back, I would have said to you guys, and I think I might have, I'm sorry that I ever spoke to myself like that.
I'm sorry that, you know, you guys heard me put my body down, you know, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
And I am too.
my words haven't always lined up with that scripture and my thoughts and so I think just being I like everything that you guys said and that's a good principle just parenthood in general like I'm even learning that like because your kids become very aware at a very young age and so like I can tell when Royce knows that I'm like worked up like the other day he was like are you sad mommy and
oh and I said I'm a little sad baby and then there was another time he's like mom are you a little mad and I said Royce I'm sorry that I yelled but mommy was feeling a little upset and like so they're just already so aware so like so aware going ahead and like apologizing and he's normally like I'm sorry too and I go you're not sorry I'm sorry
But, like, getting ahead of that and, like, even, like, talking with Micah, like, making it a habit.
Like, if we do something wrong or, like, if we're not acting the way we should, like, turning around and saying, like, I'm sorry that we were frustrated and, like, just getting them to know, like, okay, we all have emotions and we're all going to act on our emotions.
But, like, don't just ignore it and then let them think that it's okay.
But turning around and being like, I was really frustrated and this is why I acted like this.
Not to justify it, but, you know.
And he's only two and a half, but I'm saying like making it a habit as we get, you know, as he starts getting older.
That's so true.
And that helps you know that your parents haven't made it or figured everything out.
Like Kate was saying, like it invites you into that vulnerability of like, oh, they're still learning too.
And I think that helps the kid give the parents more grace when they apologize.
is because it's like oh wait they're still going through life and learning too just like we are and so when we know you get it wrong sometimes we feel safe to get it wrong sometimes and everything still be okay yeah and we're always telling them to say sorry for things
Because like if he, you know, does something wrong or has bad attitude, like he needs to know that he needs to take accountability.
But also you do as you do.
So like if he sees us taking accountability and apologizing, then it makes sense in his brain.
Well, this is why I need to tell Callum I'm sorry or this is why I need to say I'm sorry.
Right.
Because he's seeing it modeled.
That is so good and so true.
Yeah.
I want to, this is so good.
It's hard to know where to go.
I want to, I just, I have so many more things that I want to talk about.
Maybe we might have to bring y'all back another time.
We can keep going for a little bit.
We can be your co-host.
I want to take a listener question and just kind of shift it.
This can be anything, but I want to take a listener question as we end today.
Um,
And just answer honestly, like don't think about it deep, but just, you know.
When life feels overwhelming, this listener says, what's the first thing that we do to reset all of us?
When life feels overwhelming.
Like the practical thing.
Yeah.
For me, you want me to start?
For me, going for a walk and talking to the Lord is my favorite.
Or like getting in my Bronco and turning on worship.
Put the top down.
Seriously, like summer is my fave and like in the evenings, like riding out in the country, you know, find that thing.
I think that's my reset where I just I put the top down.
I turn on some worship and, you know, I don't know.
It just I feel like it it makes me come back.
It resets.
You know, there's a lot of other things that I do.
But I want to, you know... I definitely just have to, like, with kids, like, it's constant noise and things happening and playing and, you know, just everything.
So, like, I normally have to remove myself, like, after they go to bed and just...
take a bath or take a shower and like get in the quiet and like just go and sit on my bed.
Like when I could be cleaning or doing other things or, you know, once they go to bed, the to-do list is very long, but like taking 20 minutes and just like getting away and opening the Bible or praying and sometimes just sitting in silence.
And like after I haven't had one ounce of silence all day, it like completely resets my mind.
That's good.
What about you, Pay?
I think for me, anytime I'm outside or in nature or on our back porch or on the pier, and anytime I can hear the birds chirping and the water moving, I just realize how small I am and how big the world is and how the Lord has me.
The Lord is taking care of me.
Even this morning, I was walking Cubby, and it was sunny for the first time ever in weeks, it feels like, here.
there was no dogs barking or anything and i just heard the birds and i was like okay i can breathe feels good a girl who's gonna be okay a girl who's gonna be okay pondering that's awesome yes for me uh sometimes i could just want to turn my brain off so i go on social media but that is not the good thing to do
When I rest rightly, I usually will go sit on our back porch and just, and it's usually at night, and just kind of sit there in silence.
Or I really like journaling.
I was going to say journaling is one of mine, too.
I usually get, I try to get everything out of my brain.
Good riddance.
I get everything out of my brain and I journal as if I'm talking to the Lord.
So that's so good.
It like gets out of my brain.
Or I like going to the beach and I've really been loving reading.
Reading has helped me wind down so much and get off my phone and reading at night and stuff.
I love that.
Or just silence.
I love it.
Or the guitar.
Yeah.
Guys, I could just keep going on.
They're crazy.
They will laugh all the time.
Y'all are crazy.
And I love that about them.
They giggle constantly.
But thank y'all for today.
Thank y'all for being vulnerable.
You're welcome, Mom.
Yeah, I'm going to have you guys back at some point.
We're going to talk about other things.
Just let us know in the comments if you want us to come back.
Beg for us.
Get on your knees and beg.
Tell me we did good.
but I have a challenge for all of us this week I want us to be able to look in the mirror and not criticize ourselves and to know that our value is in not in our reflection but in who God created us to be and you know find one thing about your body that you love
You know, find that thing.
And, you know, not in a prideful way, but like.
Yeah, like find one good, like, at least.
Attribute.
We can focus on the 10 things that we don't like, but how many times do we focus on that?
Like, you know, beautiful eyes or beautiful hands or just being thankful.
Yeah.
oh my goodness well guys thank you so much it's been an incredible incredible time today we so look forward to seeing you next time take care
Thanks for joining me for today's episode of From My Father.
I encourage you to every day ask the Father, what is it that you want me to receive from you today?
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Remember, every good and perfect gift comes from our Father.
That's all for today, friends.
Until next time, keep leaning in to the Father's voice.