Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

How “spaciousness” helps teams move beyond busywork — and build the conditions for honest conversation.

“We’re just so busy right now” is one of the most common reasons cultures don’t change — and it’s exactly what Megan Reitz set out to understand. In her research, she describes two modes of attention at work: doing mode, where focus narrows to tasks, control, and quick progress, and spacious mode, where attention expands, insight emerges, and real connection becomes possible.

Reitz is a leadership researcher whose work explores how people speak up, listen well, and create environments where others can be heard — because, as she puts it, “how you show up affects the voices of the people around you.” When teams are anxious or rushed, attention tightens and listening gets shallow; when there’s more safety and space, people can pause, widen their perspective, and make better choices together.

In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Reitz and host Matt Abrahams discuss why organizations get stuck in doing mode and what it takes to build spacious agility. They share practical ways to name spaciousness, strengthen psychological safety, introduce healthy dissonance (even through assigned roles like devil’s advocate), and respond in ways that keep people speaking up — not shutting down.

Episode Reference Links:

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Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (03:00) - Doing Mode vs. Spacious Mode
  • (03:03) - Building Agility Between Modes
  • (14:28) - Creating Psychological Safety
  • (20:46) - Conclusion

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Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host
Guest
Megan Reitz
Professor | Associate Fellow | Author | Executive Coach

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.

Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Matt Abrahams: One of the best ways to
be purposeful, respectful, and successful

at work is to optimize for spaciousness.

My name is Matt Abrahams and I
teach strategic communication at

Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to this Quick Thinks episode
of Think Fast Talk smart, the podcast.

I had a really insightful and inspiring
conversation with Megan Reitz.

Megan is an associate fellow at
University of Oxford Saïd Business

School and an adjunct professor
of leadership and dialogue at Hult

International Business School.

She shared so many valuable skills
and approaches that we couldn't

fit them all into one episode.

So here comes more practical, tactical
tips on how to be more spacious

and mindful in your communication.

You discuss doing mode and spacious mode.

Can you help us understand what
these are and why they're important?

And how can we help people take the more
specious thinking approach to interaction?

Megan Reitz: So this is my
very recent research on a

topic that I call spaciousness.

And the reason why we started looking
into it is if, you know, after a decade

probably of working, at least a decade
of working, with organizations trying

to develop psychological safety and
trying to change their habits, if

there is one, might I say, excuse that
I hear the most often for cultures

not changing it's when people say to
me, we're just so busy at the moment.

We've just got so much on, I haven't
quite had time to do what I said I would.

So we decided to explore exactly
what was going on with this.

And the way we describe it in our
research, we have two modes of attention,

two ways of, if you like, of encountering
the world and other people around us.

We have what we call the doing mode.

And in the doing mode we are focused on
the achievement of a goal or a target.

So it's instrumental, tends
to be quite short term.

It's quite a narrow attention.

We are interested in control
and also in predictability.

And we often see others and the
world around us as separate to us

and things that can be manipulated
in order to achieve a goal.

That mode, the doing mode, is
utterly vital for survival.

Okay?

So we couldn't live without it.

We do have another mode, and
we call that the spacious mode.

And when we're in a spacious
mode, our attention is expansive.

It's unhurried.

We are not trying to seize
the, what should I do?

What must I do?

What sense does this make?

What will happen?

What's the action steps?

We are encountering in the
present moment, others in the

environment around us, expansively.

So it tends to be the area
where we gain insight.

We tend to see relationships and
interdependence and flow and change and

emergence when we're in the spacious mode.

So obviously depending on the
mode of attention we have, we

make very different choices.

And the issue that we are seeing
particularly in the last few

years is that the doing mode has
muscled in and taken over pretty

much most of our organizational
and indeed our personal worlds.

So if you think about types of
organizations, that type of conversations

that organizations can have, we need
to talk about task, but we also need

to talk about purpose and meaning.

We need to talk about
learning and reflection.

We need to talk about ideas and
creativity, and we also need

to talk in a way that develops
and builds our relationship.

But the task bit of that seems
to have slightly suffocated

some of the other aspects.

That's what we are interested in.

We are interested in how do you
create the space inside, frankly,

pathologically busy work systems to
have the conversations that matter.

And that's the link with psychological
safety is that there is, that

sometimes we just get so busy we can't
pause and turn our attention to the

other to ensure that we create an
environment where we can really speak

up and be heard in the first place.

So there's no point in talking to
people about habits and techniques

around psychological safety if
they're just caught up in the doing

mode and they can't even see it.

So that's our latest research.

And I have to say, it's probably the, oh,
most interesting and challenging research

I think I've ever done in my life.

Matt Abrahams: It is very interesting.

Several things I wanna dive into.

The first thing that struck me is
it sounds like we need to develop

an ability to be agile and fluid to
move into the different modes, the

doing mode versus the spacious mode.

Being in any one without being
able to move into the other, I

think probably leads to problems.

Clearly, we overindex on the doing mode.

My life is full of doing, and
yet the most rich, meaningful and

important conversations happen
when I'm in a more spacious mode.

And it strikes me also that when we
talk about our own communication, the

way we are in the world, that we have
to be able to be fluid in response

to who it is we're speaking to.

So if I'm talking to my boss, I
have to agilely adapt, and then if

somebody is talking to me and I'm
in a position of power status, I

have to adjust and adapt as well.

How do you help people build
this agility and ability to flow

into one place versus the other?

Megan Reitz: So the first thing I
would say is just being able to give

a language to the spacious mode.

And that's actually one of the key
objectives, I suppose, of our research

is in a doing mode and in a doing world,
we don't have much time for spaciousness.

The first thing is to sort of
see the irony of that and be

able to lift ourselves and just
value and see and have a credible

language around the spacious mode.

So that's what we're trying to do.

Now, once we actually talk about how do
we create that capacity to choose, one

of the things, key things, is safety.

And again, this links to the
psychological safety in our

research on speaking truth to power.

When we are fearful and anxious, our
perspective and our attention narrows.

Yeah, we, it, we become very focused
on ourself as opposed to other as well.

We are in survival mode, so the more
that we can do in our systems and

our teams to recognize psychological
safety and to develop and build that,

the more likelihood is that we'll
be able to move into a spacious mode

when we need to, as in when we need to
innovate and relate with one another.

And dare I say it, have fun at work,
that safety is a really important part.

But the other thing that I would
probably mention is people.

So the people we hang around with have
such an influence on the attention that we

then pay to one another and to the world.

And one of the much talked about problems
of social media is that we tend to go

into these silos of very narrow thinking,
same thinking groups that increases

the way that we polarize issues and
that we can discuss around issues.

So I also do quite a bit of work asking
people to notice who they spend time with.

And of course I think there's a saying
that says you can't choose your family.

Well you often can't choose members
of your work colleagues as well,

but you do have some influence.

So if you are managing a team, for
example, and you are thinking, gosh, we

are rushed off our feet and we're all,
we've got our head in the sand, who

can I bring in, probably from outside,
that can just be that sort of person

that enables us to take our breath,
pause a second, and look around, and

then make wise choices rather than
just busy, sometimes foolish, choices.

So lots of stuff around safety, lots
of stuff around who we spend time with.

And I guess the other one I'd probably
pick out is, funnily enough, conflict.

So how can we bring in dissonance?

How can we surprise ourselves
and others so that we are

woken up from the doing mode?

And that we are forced
to go, oh wait a second.

Good point.

Why are we doing this?

Or, hang on, let me just see
things from the customer side.

Again, it's a kind of a dig
in the ribs to say, wake up.

Stop being a busy fool.

Look up and look around, reconnect
with what you're actually trying to

do, your bigger and wider intention.

And then when we've got that set on the
compass, so to speak, let's go again.

So those are just some of the
things that are coming out at the

moment, but this research is very
much, um, work in action right now.

Matt Abrahams: Well, and I appreciate
the explication you gave and

the actionable things we can do.

We have to develop a language
around it, and that language can be

something that's co-created within
the organization or relationship that

we have that gives us the opportunity
to have these conversations.

We have to build psychological safety,
which I'd like to address next, and then

we have to think about the people who are
around us and how they can help snap us

out of our habits and our way of acting.

One way that I have seen that works
really well, given that we don't

have a lot of control sometimes
over who we are working with.

Is to assign different roles.

So for this task, for this meeting,
for this project, you are in the role

of devil's advocate where your job is
to question, even though the person

might be somebody I work with a lot and
have similar attitudes and approaches

with, by virtue of giving them that
role, it can give you that little dig

in the ribs, as you've talked about.

So we've had the pleasure of
speaking with Amy Edmondson.

She's well known for having defined
the notion of psychological safety.

I am curious if you can provide for
us some specific guidance on how, not

only someone in a position of power,
a leader, the head of the family,

whatever, can establish psychological
safety, but how can those who are not

in power also encourage and support it?

What are some things we can do to
really build that psychological safety?

Megan Reitz: I think I'll answer that
by saying, what do I see go wrong a lot

of the time over the last few years?

And therefore what is
really important here?

And the very first thing I would
say, and I think Amy would probably

agree on this being a problem, is
people's misunderstanding of what

psychological safety really means.

And sometimes it's, I encounter it being
thought of as being nice, as being lovely,

as being in agreement, as comfortable.

Whereas to me, psychological safety
is our capacity to have the really

difficult conversations that we
have to have if we are to flourish.

So it can be far from comfortable.

So if you go into an organization
and you see it all very polite

and comfortable, I would say it's
unlikely to be psychologically safe.

So the very first thing is, you know,
understanding that psychological safety

is about our ability to challenge
one another and give feedback to

one another openly and honestly.

One of the first things I find in
organizations that are trying to develop,

you know, speaking up and speak up
cultures, they make the mistake of looking

at the people that aren't speaking up
and then mainly trying to fix them.

So we try and fix the people that
are silent rather than noticing the

impact that we have within the system.

So I spend a lot of time with wherever you
are on the hierarchy, it really doesn't

matter, but how you show up affects
the voices of the people around you.

And I just wanna sort of pause there
and just underline that because it's

actually quite profound when you think
about it and think about it from a family,

community, and workplace orientation.

How you show up affects the voices
of the people around you, and I

think that's tremendously important
for people to really notice and then

have the capacity to view and reflect
on how they are showing up in the

impact that they have on others.

I'll just mention two other things.

One, I would say we have surveyed about
24,000, I think, employees globally now.

And one of the clearest patterns
that we have is something

called superiority illusion.

Superiority illusion is when we all
think that we listen quite well.

It's just everybody else
that needs to get better.

All of us tend to be quite generous
when we assess our own listening skills.

And the reason for that, of course,
is that we assess ourselves on our

intent to listen and we assess other
people that are on their behavior

and there is a gap, to say the least.

And so the other thing when we're
developing psychological safety for

others, for ourselves, is just to be able
to deeply reflect on whether we really

are as good a listener as we think we are.

And to deeply reflect on what does it mean
to give somebody a really good listening

to, and how often do we actually do that?

And when we've been listened to deeply,
it's often really quite profound.

And the final thing I would say, and I've
mentioned it briefly, is the response.

Changing culture and changing
conversational habits, one of the key

most important areas for doing that is
in our response to when people speak up.

And as I said, when we speak up,
and particularly if it's challenging

or it goes against the grain,
we might do it a bit clumsily.

We might not speak up very well.

And so the thing that happens all the
time, and Amy and I actually wrote an

article specifically on this in Harvard
Business Review, when that happens,

rather than the listener understanding the
courage that has gone into what's happened

and appreciating the attempt to speak up.

They often respond in a way that just
completely closes that person down,

and they don't then speak up again.

Similarly, the person that speaks
up and gets that response doesn't

really reflect fully and widely on
what they've learned and try again.

So I really would love us to be
able to learn and reflect from these

mistakes, as Amy would call them,
intelligent failures, actually.

When we are trying to improve our
ability to speak up and listen up,

of course we're gonna make mistakes.

So we've gotta expect them and
then we've gotta learn from them.

Those are intelligent failures.

Matt Abrahams: So the components
of psychological safety first

start with the willingness to
have the hard conversations, the

willingness to engage in that way.

It's thinking about how we show
up in terms of really being

present and giving ourselves
space to have those conversations

and creating space for others.

Then this notion of the superiority
illusion, that we're not as good

as we think we are at these things
and we need to work at them.

And really taking the time to
listen deeply and actively, and

that's not just nodding your
head and going uh-huh, uh-huh.

We've had lots of conversations
with experts on listening.

It's about paraphrasing.

It's about acknowledging the emotion
that's in the moment, and then making

sure that when somebody does speak up
or does contribute something that's

vulnerable and exposed, that we really
respond in a way that's respectful

and encourages it moving forward.

Again, a lot of this
requires self-awareness.

Well, there you have it.

As promised, lots of useful insights
from Megan Reitz, including practical,

tactical ideas to help you and your
team be more present and productive.

I hope each of you explores
ways to help you be more mindful

to maximize your mutuality.

Thank you for joining us
for another episode of Think

Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.

To learn more about psychological
safety, listen to our episode 132

with Amy Edmondson and to learn
more about leadership, listen

to episode 148 with Irv Grouse.

This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abraham.

Our music is from Floyd Wonder.

With special thanks to
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