Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
Logan, introduce yourself. Sorry, I was taking a drink.
Oh, yeah, no, I'm Logan.
Logan was talking. Barrel over the top of you, Jeff. If anybody on this hour barrels over the top of the next person, that's what you gotta yell out.
[laughing]
"Don't barrel over the top of me!" Like, that type of thing.
All right.
Well, because Victor's not here, it's the three of us. Uh, I asked Jade, I'm like, "Hey, can I borrow Jeff and Logan for the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem?" Because, well, Victor, like, is one of the m- millions of Americans right now calling out of work, and I know he's not into sports. So I think he just used it as an excuse to be like, "You know what? I'm off tomorrow," because he's gonna go down to Salt Lake City and go see Ghost-
Yeah
... at the Delta Center. He's gonna be like, "You know what? I just want a two-day work week." That lazy liberal, you know? [laughing]
[laughing]
Victor hops on the morning show, tries to split his- spread his, uh, blue way of thinking, right? [laughing]
Man-
[laughing]
... he should be the one from California, not you.
Yeah.
Yo, dude, d- don't get me started on the whole thing-
[laughing]
... about, like, people from here saying the Californians are coming in to change the politics of Idaho.
[laughing]
Like, I just came here for the job, you know?
Right.
That's all I came here for. I didn't know Idaho Falls existed until 2019.
I'd tell you I didn't know California existed, but I, I'd be a liar. [laughing]
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, growing up... You guys are both from here, right?
I'm from Utah.
Yeah.
You're from Utah-
Yeah
... so it's sort of, like, kind of-
Big Idaho
... the same crowd, but just a bigger version.
Yeah.
Utah is just a mini California.
Well-
Oh, I, I don't know. Logan, do you agree with that?
I would say it's like a big Ida- like, a just a bigger Idaho.
Well, it's in between.
I mean, I... Yeah-
It, yeah, it's-
I feel like Salt Lake County, for sure.
Sure, yeah. I mean, maybe it is-
And then I think outside of Salt Lake County, it's just like bigger Idaho Falls.
Maybe it is a combo. Like, of just... It's, it's, it's Idaho and California mixed together.
He kind of nailed it. Like, Salt Lake County, it's like a mini-
It's like Colorado.
True, yeah.
And then, like-
It's just prettier
... outside of that, yeah.
'Cause I wouldn't say-
Oh, I don't know. Colorado's pretty-
Yeah
... pretty pretty. Like, the m- the mountains are.
I wouldn't say Calif- or Utah is dirty like California is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, you don't get certain smells-
Yeah, yeah
... like downtown LA, where you're like, "Is that skunk, or is that something else?" [laughing]
[laughing]
Yeah.
But Utah, Utah is more clean. Now, it could be, quote-unquote, "dirty" from, like, the eyes of people around here 'cause they've never seen Southern California.
Yeah.
Like, I live on the ghetto side of Idaho Falls, but-
And it's still really nice
... they've never been to Compton or Inglewood or East Long Beach or whatever.
Right.
You don't have random people coming up to your car, trying to wash your windows, and then ask for payments afterwards. [laughing]
Right.
That's one of the most anxiety-inducing things. That's, that's what happened in California a couple weeks back for me. Uh, there was two guys that came running up to my car, and I'm like: "No, please. I don't want... I don't have any cash."
[laughing]
And, and I don't think they even... No- nobody has cash really anymore, so I don't know how they get their payment. Do they pull out the, the iPad and do the...? [laughing]
Yeah. [laughing]
Oh, yeah, they've got a card swiper.
The Square space.
Yeah, the Square. [laughing]
They hold that up to you.
It's cool, just, uh, just swipe.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, but yeah, so Victor's out today. I have Jeff and Logan in here for this Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. Um, uh, I, I really wanna know what Victor's excuse is. I'm sure he'll... He, he probably sent an email saying he was feeling sick, but he's-
He ate too much food.
Uh, he did say that on Friday, during Traffic School Powered by the Advocates, that he was gonna go to The Alibi this weekend and, um, sort of party it up. So I, in my head, I was like, "There is that thought that I'm gonna not see his truck first thing in the morning when I pop up here." Sure enough-
It was gone.
It was not here. So yeah, we're do- we're gonna be doing this show. We'll talk about whatever. Um, I, I was gonna say we should talk about the Super Bowl, but I feel like every radio show across the planet is gonna be talking about their, quote-unquote, "cutting-edge thoughts" on the whole big game.
I just... I got one thing.
Okay. Well, we'll, we'll, we'll save it for next break.
Yeah.
We'll save it for next break. Logan's got some... got his two cents.
Woo! [upbeat music] Welcome back to the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
I'm Peaches.
And I'm Logan.
Now, Logan had his two cents that he wanted to share from the last break. We don't, we don't, we didn't plan anything. We just-
We're just talking.
Lo- Logan's like, "I'm thinking about something." I'm like, "Okay, share, share your thoughts."
[upbeat music] Yeah, I just wanted to say, I've heard a ton and ton of people say the game was boring.
The Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl was boring.
Mm-hmm.
And not even just that I'm a Seahawks fan and I'm being biased or anything. I thought it was a great game. I thought it was really entertaining to watch. I know people are expecting to see, you know, eight touchdowns from each team, and that's what makes it fun for people, but I thought it was a blast to watch a game like not do that. [upbeat music]
See, I thought it was a, a, a horrible game to watch, kind of. I mean, it's, it's wasn't cutting edge. It wasn't, like... Uh, it wasn't a huge face-off that you wanted-
It wasn't Rail Rider
... to, to win the big trophy. But it was more so like, "Hey, let's see how great the Seahawks kicker is-
[laughing]
... and how tired that guy must, must have been after the game." That, that was your real Super Bowl MVP, was him.
Yeah.
It had to be somebody.
But Kar- uh, what's the guy's name that run-
Kenneth Walker.
Kenneth Walker. I almost said Kareem Hunt. [laughing]
Kareem Hunt. [laughing]
That's a different running back.
Yeah.
Kenneth Walker III.
Yeah.
Can't forget that-
Yeah
... 'cause he, they made a big deal about Kenneth Walker Jr. being in the stands, his dad, watching his son play in the Super Bowl. Was his dad-
First, first game-
Was his-
... ever been to.
Oh, okay. Was it, was his dad a Super... Well, not a Super Bowl, NFL player?
No.
No.
No.
Just a supportive dad that was there?
Just a supportive dad. He's nev- never went to, like, any game with him. He was like... They said something about, like, he doesn't like crowds.
Doesn't like crowds? [laughing]
And so, like, he doesn't-
What a horrible excuse that is. [laughing]
"I'm never going to my son's NFL game-
Right.
" I hate crowds."
Yeah. I mean, like, I would never go to my son's game. I'll just hear about it from him afterwards.
Yeah.
I, I did not want my dad at my basketball games, 'cause me and him would fight back and forth, and then I would pretend the guy I'm guarding was him, so then I'd be bullying some other dude on the other team-
[laughing]
... pretending he was my dad, but, like, you know, jo- like, secretly punching him in the stomach type of thing.
[laughing] Yeah.
Boxing him out, like, extra hard, put my shoulder into him. Like, people... I was like the Bill Lambeer of Ocean View High School.
There you go. There you go. [laughing]
[laughing] But, but overall, the Super Bowl to me, it was okay. I mean, I, I'm not a, a Bad Bunny fan. I, I'm not into reggaeton. You know, I don't know Spanish.... I, I thought it was just fine.
Yeah.
For, for an NFL halftime show, I'm, I'm not gonna be like one of those people that hopped on-
It was acceptable?
... that hopped on social media and was like, "I'm watching Kid Rock!" Like, I, I didn't know-
Mm, yeah
... many Americans that were Kid Rock fans at all. [laughs]
Right. [laughs]
'Cause most people make fun of Kid Rock. Let's, like, let's be honest.
Yep.
He looks exactly like Dr. Phil with a wig on.
[laughs]
And Kid Rock is not necessarily all that well-liked by the majority. But you wouldn't believe that with how many people just screamed out, "I'm watching the Turning Point USA halftime show, Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert..." Well, I don't even know who was- who else was on that lineup.
I don't know.
Some other country people. That, that's about all I, I caught.
But they're making comparisons online today of the two different halftime shows [chuckles] because, I mean, obviously it was a big party with Bad Bunny and all those, you know-
Yeah
... all those dancers and the people-
Right
... inside the bushes and everything. Um, but then they cut it to, like, the Turning Point halftime show thing, and it was that one guy saying, "I can't wait to, like, catch some fish." Like, it was v- it was a... It sounded like a very
ChatGPT-generated country song. Like, "Let's pander to the country audience-
Yeah
... and say-
Yeah
... 'I'm gonna catch fish. I'm gonna drink beer and drive my truck,'" that whole... I don't know who that was. It was some old man.
Yeah.
That's what every country song is about, though. [chuckles]
Uh, it's about the four main food groups: America, uh, women, uh, beer, and guns.
Yep.
I actually came up with an idea when I was going through the, the music for the Outlaw Station.
Uh-huh.
We need to start an AA group for, uh, cowboys.
[laughs]
Um, Cowboys with Feelings.
[laughs] Yeah.
So they can get over that. We're going to adopt puppies for all the cowboys-
Okay
... so that when their first dog dies, they have a backup.
[laughs]
So no more writing songs about that. [laughs]
[laughs]
We're gonna get them all marriage counseling so their girlfriends stop leaving.
[laughs]
And then we need to have the, the car insurance people call all of those guys and get them signed up, so if their truck breaks down, they're covered.
[laughs]
But I would love to hear, like, about a regular car from some of those country artists.
Singing about his '08 Camry or something like that?
Yeah, singing about his, like, 2013 Toyota Sienna. [laughs]
[laughs]
And how-
Something like that
... well it runs and the great gas mileage it gets.
The four kids that he packs in the back. [laughs]
Exactly! That, that's the funny part is, like, you never hear about their kids, their families. You always hear about, like, "Oh, I'm drinking beer, and I want time alone," [chuckles] that type of thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, they also, they're supposed to love their family, I think, right?
We need to give them some new material to write about.
True, true. So yeah, the, the halftime show, w- it wasn't bad in my case. I didn't understand a word he was saying, obviously-
[chuckles] Right
... 'cause I don't speak Spanish.
Yeah.
But at the same time, I thought it was just a stereotypical halftime show that we're used to seeing. 'Cause last year I was trying to figure out who it was. I'm like, "Wait, it couldn't have been that good if I don't remember who performed."
Yeah, who was it last year?
It was Rihanna.
It was, it was Kendrick Lamar last year.
It was Kendrick Lamar. Yeah, so-
Oh, see, see
... I still got it. Oh.
I mean, Rihanna was, I think, two years ago.
Yes, two years ago.
And hers was great. I did like her.
I can't believe I forgot about Kendrick Lamar, 'cause his was-
That was a big one, yeah
... with Serena Williams-
It had yeah, yeah
... who is the ex of Drake, and she was doing the, the Walking, the dance move.
Not like this?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay. [laughs]
Yeah, yeah. I mean, there, there was Kendrick Lamar, then Rihanna before that, and then before that, which one was it? Was it the, uh, the, the LA halftime show, where it was Dr. Dre?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, it was.
Yeah.
That one was good.
And 50 Cent. That one I, I liked. I mean, I didn't mind it whatsoever. I know we're never getting a rock act, and I was, I was laughing-
[chuckles]
... 'cause I posted, uh... I was trying my best to be active on socials for the Super Bowl. Because people are gonna be talking about it. Millions of Americans across the country are watching it.
Yeah.
So I, I posted it. [upbeat music] I posted that Green Day played before the Super Bowl, and I, I made some, like, dumb remark about, "This is the closest we're getting to Super Bowl halftime being rock," right?
That's probably true.
And, and, and Green Day is a controversial band because there's a lot of people that say they lean left politically, of course, because they're punk artists. I mean, they've al- they've always done so. But they're very outspoken against a particular side, and that side-
Yeah
... for the most part, lives in these parts of the US. So I was like, "Let me just post, like, 'This is the closest we're getting to rock.'" And sure enough, tons of people started attacking each other-
[laughs]
... in the comment section, but we gained, like, 40 new followers on Facebook yesterday.
There we go. Nice!
And so I posted that, posted the Lady Gaga pic, and was just like, "You know what? I'm glad I did." And, uh, I feel bad because I, I already pre-recorded the first part of my afternoon show, and I talked a lot about Brad Arnold passing. And I was like, "Let me see if I have any concert video of him." I post that, I'm like, "This should get me a lot of likes." I have, like, 7,000 views- [laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs]
... on my personal account, and I'm thinking, like, "Well, I just took advantage of some celebrity's death. I feel horrible now."
Yeah. [chuckles]
"Maybe I should donate the buck 50 I made off of that post-
[laughs]
... and donate it to, like, a, a, a cancer research foundation in Brad Arnold's name or something like that."
Yeah, it was lung cancer, wasn't it?
It was. Uh, uh-
So-
... yeah, kidney cancer. Kidney cancer.
Oh, kidney cancer.
It was, uh, stage 4, uh, r- right, is it renal? Renal?
Renal cancer.
I don't know what that means.
Stage 4 clear cell renal carci- no, I, uh, there's a whole long name.
Cancer.
Yeah, cancer.
Okay.
Overall, Brad, Brad Arnold-
They're all long names
... suffered from cancer.
Yeah.
And so yeah, he's unfortunately no longer with us. So I'll be playing a Three Doors Down song-
Nice
... during the start of the afternoon show.
Nice.
Nice.
So there's that to look forward to. But yeah, um, I guess we'll talk some more coming up. Oh, is this Sublime coming here?
Yeah. [upbeat music]
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
I'm Logan.
And I'm Peaches, and we found out the culprit for who was keeping the bathroom door unlocked but the stall closed. Logan, that's you, isn't it?
Uh, yeah.
See, I, I knew it. [laughs]
Yep, yep.
I, I, I had the slightest hope that I'm like, "Oh, sweet, nobody's in the bathroom," 'cause I drink a ton of water during the day. Like, I'll have my Hydro Flask in here, and I'm just drinking water, and I have to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes. I'm self-sabotaging myself.
[laughs]
So I'll go to the bathroom, and sure enough, uh, it's, it's unlocked. I'm like, "Oh, sweet, I can use it." Then I see the stall door closed, and I'm like, "Oh, I can't, like, use the other toilet and have Logan come out."
'Cause you can see over the top.
Yeah, 'cause I, the, I just-
Just don't look.
Well, uh, the, here's the thing, it's like the, the-
That-
... urinal's right there.... the stall is right next to it, because people are not gonna notice. [laughing] Like, this-
[laughing]
-it's that close to each other. My head is always above every bathroom stall door.
Just look down.
And if I look down-
[laughing]
-and, like, Lo- Logan's, like, sitting on the toilet doing his thing, and he looks up and sees my bald head just come across and, like, look down, he's gonna be like, "Well, I'm... Now I feel like he's almost watching me," type of thing.
Depends on how long you look. If it's a glance, then I'll be like, "I get it." [laughing]
[laughing]
[laughing]
But, like, peeking my head over the stall absolutely sucks, 'cause it does feel like-- people probably go, "What?" People laugh at you, you know? I'm just trying to do my business.
Yeah.
I, I was at iHeartMedia, uh, interning for, uh, Coast 103.5 in LA. It's kind of like their version of Classy. You know, it's, it's like the Christmas music station that every grocery store plays, all of that.
Nice.
So, uh, there... In that same building, that same radio cluster, has Real 92.3, that has Big Boy on it, and he's a hip-hop legend, one of the coolest dudes. He- I heard some dude coughing as I was using the restroom i- i- in, in the facility, and I hear some guy coughing, and he sounds like he's choking. So who is... And I'm in, I'm in the stall.
[laughing]
So I, I, like, you know, peek my head out and, like, look at him, because he's at the sink, and he sees me [laughing] just pop up-
[laughing]
-and stare at him. He's like, "Whoa there, big fella!" [laughing] But, uh, no, he, uh, he... Again, it's just, it's, it's one of the disadvantages of being a tall guy that nobody really knows about, where you can peek your head over every bathroom stall.
I feel good being average height for moments like that.
Well, yeah, that and roller coasters. You can't fit on those. I, I worked at, uh, Knott's Berry Farm, and I was a ride operator, and I worked Riptide, and, um, that was a ride where there was a height limit. You had to be, like, six foot four and below, for very obvious reasons, 'cause you'll, like, kill yourself if you-
Yeah, it'll take your head off.
Oh, yeah, Accelerator, another roller coaster, there's a height limit because it goes from zero to 60 in 10 seconds or something like that. Not 10 seconds, like, two seconds.
Ooh!
And so-
Oh, like 10 seconds-
Oh, yeah, yeah
... Civic from-
Right? [laughing]
-85 or something. [laughing]
But it goes from zero to 60 in two seconds. When it does that launch, uh, your, your head goes back.
Yeah.
And so my head would be above the neck, the, the head-
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So I-
Snap
... all of a sudden, you would just see me go snap, yeah, and my neck's broken, and I'm-
Yeah
... gone and-
That, that makes sense, is why they want smaller people on that.
But does that have, like, a hard... You ever been to, like... I know you've probably been to Disneyland, being from California.
Of course.
But Disney World, have you ever been there?
No, I haven't. That's, that's one of my dream vacations, to go to Orlando and-
I, I say-
... suffer through that
... all the time, my, my fiancée, her family, they're all from Huntington Beach.
Oh, okay.
Um, and they're big, avid, Disneyland is better than Disney World.
So you're, you... He's now almost married to a, a fellow Californian-
I am.
Yes, he is.
Now, is she a hardcore leftist, too, Logan?
Absolutely not. [laughing]
See? [laughing]
[laughing]
That's what I'm saying. Like, everybody here is so adamant that Californians are moving in and trying to bring in their politics, and it's not true. I said, "Well, Victor is the guy born and raised in Pocatello, and he's talking about the liberal agenda every single day."
[laughing] Yeah.
Look at that guy, you know? [laughing] Look at Josh Tyler of Classi- Nah, I'm just kidding. No, but Vi- like, me and Victor get along. Everyone should get along here. You know, people are- people have moved here. The snow is not gonna drive them away. Uh, uh, things are not gonna drive them away. That was, that was one thing I hated, too, when I first moved out here, is that they're like, "Oh, the real snowstorm, that'll wipe out the Californians." Like what, we're just gonna, like, melt or like... [laughing]
[laughing]
Not melt, but we're gonna, like, you know-
You just won't know how to drive.
We won't know how to drive? It's more so people from here that are like, "I know how to drive in the snow. I got my all-season tires on my Ford F-150," and sure enough, they just-
[chuckles] It's that first-
... fall into a ditch
-snow season of the year that gets everybody.
Right, right. No, uh, now, let's be honest here. Like, I, I, I did not put my snow tires on until it was pretty late last year, and I, I took a right turn into this parking lot. I, I didn't realize there was a whole lot of ice. My car went right into the snow pile.
[laughing]
It's a silly little video. I, I'm glad that, like, I got it fixed now. It's funny to laugh at now, but at the time, I was so mad, so upset [laughing] that I stupidly made that mistake. But then, there's also been other dumb mistakes from other people here in the building that, you know... Like, like, like Josh, for, like, crashing into a parked car, and he was one of the guys that made fun of me-
Whoops!
... for driving into the snow pile. So karma gets you.
Yes, it does. [upbeat music] Welcome back to the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
I'm Peaches.
And I'm Logan.
And we were talking off the air about Logan's fiancée being from Huntington Beach, and the fact that Victor calls it Huntington. [laughing]
[laughing]
And A- A- Californians, I don't really think, care about the pronunciation of cities, like the proper pronunciation of cities.
Yeah.
Like Boise or Boise.
Yeah.
Or, or is it Lava Hot Springs and not Lava Hot Springs?
It, it's Lava Hot Springs.
Because it, it, it has to be Lava Hot Springs. I mean, you can't... Other than that, who came up with that theory? Was it you, Jeff?
It... Which theory?
That the fact that some guy with a Southern accent probably came to Idaho a long time ago-
Oh, no, I, I didn't do that, but it makes sense
... and said it's like, "Oh, look, there's Lava Hot Springs," or something like that.
[chuckles]
And it just caught on, and locals say, "No, the true way to say it is Lava Hot Springs."
No.
I, I just-
I, I think people are crazy about that.
Or it's not Dubois, it's Dubois.
That, that one-
I feel like Dubois makes sense, 'cause it's like a French-
It is a French word, and it, it probably should be Dubois.
I- imagine people say, "I'm going to Dubois, Idaho." [laughing] It just sounds funny.
That would be really funny.
But it's almost like Firth. Like, it sound... Like, Jade says that sounds like a fart.
Yeah. [laughing]
Like, firt! You know?
Yeah.
It sounds like a fart. Um, what else was the... I mean, Ririe, of course.
Oh, Ririe?
My friends re- yeah, my friends came out here. [laughing]
[laughing]
My, my friends, like, came out here last year. They're like, "Let's go to the Ririe Bar." I'm like, "Excuse me? Like, is that a new establishment or..." [laughing]
Yeah.
"What, what is it? Like, what's going on?" [laughing] But no, it's Ri- yeah, Ririe, of course. And people get so upset about that, like, "You're not from around here, are you?"
Yeah.
That one makes me laugh, if somebody comes up, "Do you know how to get to Ririe? You're not from here."
Yeah.
"And yes, I know how to get to Ririe." [laughing]
[laughing] But yeah, we were talking about Huntington Beach, and, uh, we were just mentioning, like, going to the beach as an Idahoan. Like, I took my girlfriend for the first time to the beach, 'cause she's never seen the ocean, never touched the ocean until, uh, last month.... and she liked it a lot. She wants to go back, and go back under the sand, and just have, like, a whole beach day.
Yeah.
But you couldn't in January, really, because- well, I mean, it might be the perfect time, but for Californians, it's considered cold when it's 60 degrees out.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Right.
I mean, it's a little cold to swim in-
I'd probably say that's swimming weather. I, I say that's swimming weather.
But if the sun-
As long as you can get out, and then-
Yeah, if the sun's hitting the ocean, uh, you're... It's gonna be warmer.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
But i- i- it feels a whole lot better when it's 90 degrees out, and you just go into the water. But at the same time, Logan and I were talking about how much we hate the ocean or hate the, the beach overall because, I mean, sand does get everywhere.
Mm-hmm.
The, the ocean itself is full of fish [laughing] and I'm like, can we-
[laughing]
... And I'm, I'm the, the selfish guy. The selfish, funny enough, pun intended there. Um, then I'm like, "Let's get rid of all the fish, and let's just have a giant swimming pool."
Yep.
I, I don't want no dolphin coming up to me. I don't want a stingray to come up and hurt me.
The, I think the dolphins are fine, but the stingrays and the sharks and-
The sharks, they come right up to the coast. It's like, you guys have all the ocean in the world-
And you're gonna come up here?
I know, why do they gravitate to the...
Yeah.
Yeah, it makes no sense.
The Earth is 70%-plus ocean. Go to the d- the, the depths.
Yeah, get, get out of here. Let us have this little bit of it.
Right!
Unless they're scared of what's out there, so they come in.
Uh, maybe, but they're sharks. Like, they... Do they not know their full potential? Do they not know there's, like, movies made about them? And-
Ye- yeah, but if they're scared of what's out there, like, if they know what's out there, and they're scared of it, we should be really scared of it.
Yeah.
I, I think it is weird. We only know what's, like, 15%.
It's gone up over the couple, last couple years.
It's gone up? Okay.
Yeah, it's gone up a little bit, but, like, I think in general, everyone, like, says that, and I think part of the explanation I've heard is just, like, there's not as much to explore down there as people would think. Like-
Yeah
... there's a lot, but, like-
But how do we know?
A lot of it's just bare and sand. Like-
What's in the deep, deep part?
Well, I mean, we've gone to the Mariana Trench, right?
Right.
And we found the crazy fish that, like, eats its heads-
Yeah
... and things like that.
Those are creepy looking.
It's crazy, which I, I consider, like, when everyone talks about, like, aliens, I consider that like-
Mm-hmm
... aliens, right? Because, like, that's, like, other worldly. Like, why, why, why can I see your brain?
[laughing]
You know, like, that's weird. [laughing]
[laughing]
Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of-
So-
We, we, we talked about messed up fish, uh, last week-
Yeah
... with the tripod fish that just clings-
Oh
... to the ocean floor.
Like, yeah.
And it, it doesn't move, and it sits there, and it has to-
It just has to wait for, like, little shrimps or whatever.
Yeah!
I don't know.
And it has to reproduce with itself in order to, uh, just, you know, have the ability to keep the, the species alive.
Yeah.
But, like, even the ocean sunfish, it's so funny how much they... They can either weigh 400 pounds at their lightest-
[chuckles]
... or 5,550 or something like that.
The what?
At the... Like, the ocean sunfish, the flying, like, disc. Like, the... It's like a giant-
Yeah, I what that is
... like, fr- like thick Frisbee.
[chuckles] They're huge.
And it, and it swims like a sideways pancake, right? It, it's just one of... And then, like, that fish itself is so useless to me.
[chuckles]
I'm like, what, what benefit does it, it give the ocean?
This?
Yeah, I mean, look at the-
What, what is the purpose of that?
Look at a diver next to the ocean sunfish, how big they are, and there's a seal that took a bite out of one. [laughing]
Yeah.
The ocean sunfish is just like, "Huh? What just happened?"
What'd you do?
Why is it chewing my body?
Yeah, that's huge, bro.
Yeah, look, imagine that thing staring at you.
That's kind of, like, scarier than a shark, like, honestly.
It is. Yeah, no, there's a lot of... I, I have a huge fear. [suspenseful music] You know that giant dinosaur from the one... The one that's in the pool in Jurassic World?
Oh, yeah.
And it comes up and bites.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I have a huge fear that that's gonna get me in any swimming pool, any o- like, any part of the ocean. It's just gonna come out of nowhere, and, like, there was a time where we went to the Upper Palisades Lake, and-
There are some big fish in there.
Yeah.
Well, I, I was about to jump in, and sure enough, the one of the snakes that swims gets right in the water next to me. I'm like, "Okay, I'm good. I'm good," and I didn't see it. Like, 15 minutes passed, my friends are already out in the island in the middle of the upper lake. I'm like: I gotta, I gotta go out there. So I, I took... Like, I got, like, got the courage-
[chuckles]
... to swim there, and then to swim back, it sucked because I, I swam with my mouth open like an idiot, and so I took in a whole bunch of water.
Oh, no.
So I'm, I'm choking, and I just swam back to the island. They... Luckily, my friends found a rope, [chuckles] and so like a fat loser that I am, they-
[chuckles]
... they made me swim to the rope, and they all collectively, it was four of them trying to pull me out of the water. [laughing]
[laughing]
So you just see, I'm like, "Ugh, ugh" -
[laughing] What?
... choking on water, [laughing] getting pulled out of the Upper Lake.
There's a lot of snakes that swim. You'd be surprised.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's, uh... 'Cause I'm used to the California hikes, where there's hardly anything. The worst you're gonna get is some influencer taking pictures-
Yeah
... and maybe the occasional, like, lizard.
Oh, yeah.
But other than that, you don't have anything.
No.
Not really snakes, like, on, like, the trails and stuff like that?
Not re- I mean, well, the, the w- hikes that I did, I mean, there was, like, Castaic Falls that burnt down. I feel like a lot of [chuckles] species of animals-
Sure
... leave out of California-
Yeah
... 'cause they're like, "My home could be burnt down"-
Yeah
... just like how people worry about that. [laughing]
A lot of people are leaving. [laughing]
I won't go swimming. [laughing]
Yeah, true. I mean, yeah, I mean, uh, uh, California's nice and all, but at the same time, there's so many drawbacks, and, I mean, obviously, fire is one of them.
Y- yeah.
So I, I don't know if there's any, hardly any anim- animals out there, and if they're not, if they're out there, if they're there, they're... I'm sure they're burrowed under. But when we did the Palisades hike, I couldn't count how many snakes we encountered.
They're everywhere on that trail.
Right.
Yeah.
And they're like, "You need to have bear spray for certain parts or for certain areas to hike in."
Yep.
And, oh, man, what, what am I putting myself into? I'm trying... I'm just trying to enjoy a walk in nature.
I won't go swimming in Ryrie Reservoir anymore, 'cause rattlesnakes swim-
Mm-hmm
... on that water.
Yep.
I've seen them.
But what about, like, swimmer's itch?
Uh-
Is that-
Like-
... the Rigby Lake or w- what, what is that?
I would imagine Rigby Lake.
That's usually Jensen's Grove.
Is it? Okay, that looks, that looks nasty. Jensen's Grove is [chuckles] a little, a little-
I also won't swim there
... weird looking. Yeah.
But Rigby Lake in general, just, like, that might have its own special-
Yeah, it might not have swimmer's itch, but it's got something in there-
Sorry, Rigby itch.
I, I don't wanna go- [chuckles] - play with it.
I, I can't... I, I'm like Victor, where natural waters, I can't do it. I did... Natural waters, to me, it just- [upbeat music] it's full of algae, and you're like, if you touch something slimy-
Mm.
Like, we went to Upper Lake, and we touched that little clay-... like, platform by the island. It felt like I was walking on a jellyfish, and I didn't like it whatsoever.
That is the coldest water I've ever felt-
Really?
-at that lake.
Oh.
Do you know, uh, do you know Roberts Pond?
Yeah.
Yeah, so like, me and my buddy went out there, like, two year- two or three years ago to go fish, uh, 'cause he was like, "Oh, they just refilled it with a bunch- there's, like, catfish. There's a bunch of stuff. They refilled it." He was wrong. Bad information.
[laughing]
Um, but I caught something, and I... You know, we're lazy fishers, right?
Yeah. [laughing]
So we got, like, we got, like, bobbers on, and we're just, like, throwing beers back or something, and snapped my line. And so I just see the bobber out in the water just moving around with the fish.
[laughing]
And I was like, "I'm not letting that fish bit. I'm gonna go get it."
[laughing]
And so... And it was probably, like-
Your vendetta against that fish.
Yeah, I was like, "I'm gonna-
I'm not letting it live.
He took, he took my bobber, and so he's, like, probably a good, like, 60 feet out into the pond.
Oh.
So I just took all my clothes off, and I start swimming out there, and then about 20 feet out there, I realized how out of shape I am, for starters.
Right. [laughing]
So I was like, "Wow!"
Swimming humbles you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, "Wow, Olympic swimmers really got this, like, down to a T." Um, and I'm going, and as I get closer to the bobber, I start feeling stuff on, like, my legs, which obviously-
Oh
... was just, like, the, you know, the seaweed or whatever.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that freaks me out, too.
But, dude, that started touching me, and I was like, "There's a crocodile." You know?
There's something.
There's something-
There's something in this hole
... something's gonna hunt me, and something's gonna get me.
I can't, like, e- there's that whole, like, submechanophobia that I watch videos on, where you're-
Where you're scared of, like, what's below you?
You're afraid of ani- like, animatronics underwater. Like, if you go, like, to a, a specific ride at Disneyland, and you see something pop out from under the water, and if you go underwater and see the animatronic just sitting there, you're like, "This is freaky to look at."
Yeah. Yeah.
"This is terrifying to me." And I, I do see, like, the biggest animatronics from around the world at different theme parks. It, it's really... I, I would not be able to help out one of those teams put that in water.
[laughing]
You couldn't pay me enough money in the world.
It's not gonna happen.
No. And even just to go into a pool, manmade pool, like the Pirates of the Caribbean ride-
Yeah
... and put, like, some skeleton underwater.
Yeah. [laughing]
Oh, yeah, fun stuff. [upbeat music]
The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]