Love, Sex, and Leadership

In this episode of the 'Love, Sex, and Leadership' podcast, Aaron and Lourdes dive into the notion of Tantra, focusing on its ancient knowledge and polarity principles - the interaction of male and feminine energies inside us and in nature. Understanding these opposites allows for a greater grasp of the human experience and a more balanced life. They also highlight the necessity of physically expressing these principles, which fosters a deeper connection with oneself and the cosmos. 

Aaron emphasizes the need of balancing and harmonizing the masculine and feminine within oneself, finding equilibrium, and living life fully. Furthermore, they urge listeners to accept all aspects of themselves and their bodies, understanding that faults are a part of divine perfection. Lourdes delves into the practical aspects of Tantra, such as its impact on sexual and orgasmic experiences, and shows how these may be transformed into holistic, life-affirming activities that go beyond physical pleasures. Finally, the episode serves as a call to live truthfully, to embrace the delight of being alive, and to act in loving service to oneself and the world, while acknowledging the grand organized design (G.O.D.) in everything.
This video and audio was a live recording from the Ecstatic Tantra Practitioner Training. 
You can learn more about the Ecstatic Tantra Practitioner Trainings that Lourdes and Aaron teach at: www.aaronkleinerman.com https://www.ecstatictantra.org/ https://www.malachitevents.com/practitioner

What is Love, Sex, and Leadership?

Welcome to the Love, Sex, and Leadership Podcast, where insightful dialogues and transformative teachings await. Join Aaron Kleinerman on a journey to explore the intersections of love, sexuality, and leadership. Through candid conversations with experts and live audio teachings, Aaron creates a safe space for self-discovery and empowerment. Embrace your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom, and live an inspired life as a natural, intuitive, and heart-centered leader. Dive into the mysteries of the universe and unlock the secrets to mastering the human experience. Tune in and embark on a path of profound transformation.

Ep 9 What is Tantra? with Lourdes Starshower

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Love, Sex, and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom, and live an inspired life as a natural, intuitive, and heart centered leader.

Aaron: This is a place we go to every night when we close our eyes. It's this dark void, this dark matter that's within us. But in deeply knowing this energy, when we can dance with each other, dance with the butterflies, dance with the birds, nature, the expansion of that is that much more possible. So we're receiving a breath in, letting out sound.[00:01:00]

Aaron: When you're ready, open your eyes. I'm going to take a few minutes here just to give you a short, I should say download, of really what is Tantra. And, what the fuck is actually going on here anyways? I'm not saying that I have that answer, but both of us will share perspective of what this means. Because, if you're going out into the world and expressing yourself as a Tantric practitioner, ecstatic Tantric practitioner, people might ask, what is Tantra?

Aaron: And, there's a lot of different definitions and thoughts and opinions and ideas behind that, so I want to share with you a few key points that you can do to weave into your own life, into your life and the lives of the [00:02:00] people that you'll impact. And that's really the starting point where I feel this all begins, is to weave.

Aaron: The definition, many definitions of Tantra, but one of the definitions that speaks to me the most is to weave. And if we're weaving, then we're weaving love. But we're weaving a grounded, embodied love, just as I said the other day, that has a deeper mastery of the human experience. And just as I was guiding you were working with this morning, you were in the ecstatic everythingness of your body.

Aaron: And then also knowing. the stillness of your body as well. So we play with these polarities inside. We have a masculine principle. We have a feminine principle. And if you look at some of the ancient [00:03:00] teachings from Tantra, it's looking at these two principles that are all throughout nature. This isn't some new thought.

Aaron: It's, uh, I mean, in many ways, it's a new thought, ancient wisdom. But this is something that's already inside everything that we see in life. If we look out right now into nature, there's love weaving itself through the trees, through the vines, through existence. You have the bark, the stalk of the tree that lets the wind move through the leaves.

Aaron: So without the deep rooted foundation of the tree, then there isn't any sway that can move when the wind passes through. In your own body, if you touch your own bones, these bones are what allows the blood and the water to flow through you. So there's living, breathing [00:04:00] polarity happening inside of you in every given moment.

Aaron: When a client or an individual comes into your world, they might have more of a relationship to let's say the, the stillness and the strength and the penetration, you could say more masculine principle, or they might have more of a relationship to the flow and being in more of the, the everythingness.

Aaron: And in my perspective, one of the invitations that you get to bring into someone's life is starting to know these two principles inside of themselves. Because, again, to look at Tantra, we're weaving, just as we were weaving up the spine, we have the left side of our body, Ida, we have the right side of our body, Pingala.

Aaron: These are the two channels that are weaving their way up this central channel. And if you look in a, um, evolution of, you could say, quantum physics, the way in which [00:05:00] our body is expanding and growing is by learning how to neutralize the charges, the positive charge or negative charge back into a state of equanimity.

Aaron: In that state of equanimity, we're in our central channel. When we have a trigger or something that comes up, we're often on one side of that channel. So as we equilibrate that charge, we come back into our grounded centerness, which is awakening us into the divine. So by knowing both the polarities within you, and you can awaken more into the divinity that's present within you as well, that you're having more of an embodied awakening of that.

Aaron: And so to look at some of the the text inside Tantra, one that is more well known as the Vijnana Bhavan Tantra, which is a [00:06:00] conversation between Shiva and Shakti, Shakti in manifest form as Parvati, Shiva's consort. So in this conversational dialect and a great book that you can really get the essence of some of these Sutras, of these questions that are asked from

Aaron: Parvati to Shiva, saying, Lord, what is this meaning of the universe? What is this meaning of life? And so in these Sutras, these very short pieces, a great book is the Radiant Sutras, highly recommend that. You can read in form, it's been translated, and read in form some of these short Sutras that give an essence of meaning of the polarity of life happening.

Aaron: So in this form, Shiva is the manifest form of the masculine principle. Shakti or [00:07:00] Parvati is the manifest form of the feminine principle. So they're playing in this dialogue back and forth between the play of everythingness and nothingness. And part of what that means inside the body is that we're gaining our sensory awareness.

Aaron: of how to breathe, how to sound, how to slow down to feel the everythingness, how to slow down to be in pure emptiness. So these principles are what weaving itself through all of existence, all of nature, all of history, is really just this dance of polarity. And this, to me, is really where Tantra has a way of embodying us into our awakening in this lifetime.[00:08:00]

Aaron: Because rather than trying to ascend out of the body without mastering the polarity, we master the polarity, we have an appreciation of both the masculine principle inside of us, in all bodies, male bodies, female bodies. And the feminine principle inside of us, the way in which we were created, was the masculine principle penetrating, the feminine principle receiving, egg and sperm meeting to create life.

Aaron: So without one, you don't have the other. And just like inside of your body, if you only have one without the other, then you're only eating life from the, from half of the cup. So a big part of a journey for a, you could say a student of Tantra, as you are, as I am, as life is, is learning each and every day how to experience the duality of life and [00:09:00] find gratitude for it.

Aaron: Because one of the biggest pieces you can take away is can you be with, can you help a client with being with the sensation and experience that's happening in the body rather than trying to push something down because whatever you suppress gets expressed on the outside. So if you're suppressing any part of either your masculine or feminine principle, then it's going to be expressed outside of you, which is then a place that your power will be taken away from.

Aaron: So to be in your embodied awakening in this lifetime means. That you're able to be with both principles, ultimately, so you can move up each Chakra, which is the backbone of Tantra. This is what we went through the other day. The backbone of Tantra, making our way up into the thousand petal lotus of our crown, which then helps us remember [00:10:00] that we are a spiritual being having a human experience, but we are that spiritual being.

Aaron: So as we go up into our crown, we're transcending all of this humanness into our eternal nature as a soul. But if we're trying to transcend out of it, which a lot of people want to, because they're not willing to meet the depths of their own pain and challenge and difficulty, so you're supporting them to meet all of it.

Aaron: The happiness, the sadness, the kindness, the cruelty, the good, the bad, all of that. In this melting pot of life to say, thank you, Lord. Thank you, God, Goddess, for giving me this opportunity to remember the joy of being alive. Because if we're spending our whole life, which a lot of spiritual traditions are trying to do, waiting for that moment when we're going to find love, [00:11:00] then we're missing the plot.

Aaron: And the plot, in my perspective, I want to live and breathe and make love and eat good food and dance in the rain and enjoy the place of being human. Because for some crazy cosmic joke of existence, I've incarnated into this form, just like all of you. And what a beautiful opportunity that is. But what the chances are that we've come together in this moment in time, these souls that have said yes to this moment to recognizing the divine incarnation of your human potential.

Aaron: That's ready in here to actually not just talk about concepts, but to support people to embody concepts. So the evolutionary frame that we're in is moving beyond just understanding things in our mind, but taking those concepts into the body to feel the rain upon our body, to [00:12:00] feel the pain that circulates through all of us, that wakes us up into our true essential nature, the joy that circulates through every cell of our body.

Aaron: This is what it is to be alive, to remember the human incarnation of living and being in this body. Not trying to transcend out of this body and hoping that eventually I'm going to find God outside of this body. It's here right now, as you touch this body, this body temple. God, Goddess, didn't make any mistakes with you.

Aaron: There were no mistakes. Everything that happened in your life was a divine perfection of your living, breathing incarnation. Everything. Every moment when you were like, Fuck, God, really? Really? You're giving this thing to me again? This problem, this issue? Yes. Because you know what, God? Grand Organized Design.

Aaron: G O D, Grand [00:13:00] Organized Design, made no mistakes with you. God didn't make a mistake. He was here living and breathing for you. He, she, it. Your life, every single time you've fallen on your ass and you're like, what's the purpose? You're here still having this human experience because you know there is a greater purpose.

Aaron: And unfortunately, a lot of souls who have incarnated have said, you know what, this is too much. And they decide to leave the body. But I know you are all listening to this right now in this room with the intention to actually make a difference in this lifetime so that when you're on your deathbed, you can look back and say to life, I gave it my all.

Aaron: I didn't just play small. I actually utilize all the gifts, all the resources, all those lessons that I learned to make a difference. And even if that's making a difference in one person's life, it makes a difference. That might [00:14:00] be one, that might be a hundred, that might be millions. But we as a collective community, it's not just in this room, that's across the globe, are waking up into something that's greater than what we even can begin to conceive.

Aaron: And I know you know that because that love circulates inside of you. And I'm just here, not as some sage or guru, but to help you remember who you really are. Because I'm gonna still fall flat on my ass at times in this life. Happens each and every day. As I remember my own gifts, and you remember who your gifts are as well.

Aaron: So let this be a dance of polarity into this divine ecstatic remembrance of your living, breathing incarnation of love. Deep breath [00:15:00] in.

Lourdes: This is my new way to sit. I learned it from somebody here. And what this means is as my heart circulates into my right arm through into my right hand through into my left hand and back into my heart, I am complete. I am contained. My inner masculine and inner feminine are experiencing a love affair with each other and I am deeply connected to the awareness that the love inside my heart [00:16:00] connected to divine source of love, the universe, existence, God, goddess, whatever you want to call it, is moving through me into my crown, into my heart, down through all of my energy centers, connecting me deep down into the center of the earth.

Lourdes: And from there, I receive nourishment back up into my body, into my heart. And this is why I can move in the world without wanting and needing and desperately seeking my beloved, because my beloved is inside and my beloved is all of nature. My beloved is the trees and the rivers and the mountains and the forests and the oceans and every human being that I [00:17:00] encounter that I say yes to.

Lourdes: When I look into their eyes and they look into mine. And we can see that we are one. We are all the same, regardless of our gender, our nationality, our color, our race, our religion,

Lourdes: our beliefs, our political ideations. We're all the same. And so Tantra is about sex, and it's not about sex. It's about falling in love with yourself and opening up to receive the love of the universe flowing through you. The Prana, the life force, the breath, expanding your capacity to receive life and move it through your body, expanding your [00:18:00] capacity to accept the shadows,

Lourdes: the darkness, to look for the places where we project onto others, the things within ourselves that we have not yet accepted. And instead of pointing a finger at another person, coming inside and seeing where the three fingers are pointing back to us, and where inside of me have I not accepted, have I not loved that which I am judging in another.

Lourdes: And can I love this without, within myself so that I can then really see the equanimous nature of the other as well as within myself. And it's learning how to move energy. It's learning that an orgasm does not move straight out from our pelvis. This is not the way God, God has created us. [00:19:00] As bioelectrical, magnetic, vibrational beings, far beyond three dimensions, living in a human body.

Lourdes: And our human body is not three dimensional. Our human body is so much more than that. To continue to discover new orgasms all the time. So there's more than the clitoris gasm, the G spot gasm, the Amrita, or female ejaculation gasm, the cervix gasm, the anal gasm, the breast gasm. But there's also, this morning, a new orgasm came to me.

Lourdes: They're coming all the time. It was, it was a man's head under my feet. I went into and all of a sudden there's a man's hair under my feet. And we both start to connect with him just touching my feet and me touching his hair. [00:20:00] And I'm pretty soon I'm having a crown and foot gasm. And this is what's possible an armpit gasm, a third eye gasm.

Audience: Pool gasm.

Lourdes: Pool gasm. There were multiple pool gasms in this group. And so to understand that our orgasmic capacity is unlimited. We don't have to chase the orgasm anymore like most of the world does. We don't have to create hard friction in order and tighten our bodies in order to create orgasm. An orgasm is a living breathing life force moving through our open channel that can come from any part of our body and meet Sushumna and take that energy flowing freely through us

Lourdes: between ourselves and others. And we understand the oneness of that experience where when we gather in a group, we can [00:21:00] feel the orgasmic heart energy of every person and have this transpersonal transmutation of it doesn't have to be somebody I'm in a monogamous relationship with in order for me to look into their eyes and open my heart and feel love flowing between us.

Aaron: Just take a moment to close down the eyes to bring your back straight. Just

Aaron: take all of these words and expressions that we've just shared. To

Aaron: then also ask yourself.

Aaron: What's your why? [00:22:00] What's your why for this life, for this love? And not a why that makes some burden on your shoulder, or some ego driven why of trying to find validation based upon your actions, but a why that derives from the essence of your soul arising from within. A why that is your essence of love expressed through living embodied action in day to day life.

Aaron: A why that's not a purpose statement on a website trying to prove who you are in the world, but a why that just spontaneously arises from the action of love from within you. A why that lives and breathes inside of every moment. But a why that doesn't create suffering and burden, but actually [00:23:00] gets to ask spirit each and every day as you look upon your hand saying, spirit, God, Goddess how can I be in loving service today and still live in joy

Aaron: to be in loving service with myself and those around me. and not making service a burden of the soul, but rather an ecstatic remembrance of your divine birthright, an ecstatic remembrance of life moving through you, which is a unique manifestation because every single one of you who are listening here know someplace inside of you that there's a reason for your incarnation.

Aaron: There's a reason that you've been brought forth onto this planet here and now. And [00:24:00] whatever that reason is, let it arise rather from the ego mind trying to prove that reason to others, but let it arise from the soul that knows nothing less than to do that thing each and every day. That thing of showing up and loving service to care,

Aaron: to compassionately see, to make love with the birds, to make love with nature, to make love with yourself, to know that life, the universe is for you, not against you. Life is here for you and you have all of the inner resources. Every single thing you've gone through has supported you to be here now. With a deep capacity to simply show up in love.

Aaron: And rather than a love that's a mushy, gushy, [00:25:00] pie in the sky dream, an embodied love that's a synthesis and synchronicity of complementary opposites weaving itself through you. Through you. Through your smile. Through your strength. Through your deep capacity to remember yourself as love and support others around you, just as so many sages and people have said, to be the change you wish to see in the world.

Aaron: To be here, now. Not in a future projected fantasy, not in a past remembered guilt, but to be here, now. But to do that means that you are equilibrating your thoughts, perceptions, and beliefs of the past, and all of the things of the future that you haven't learned to actually recognize the dynamic, equanimous nature of.

Aaron: When you do that, and you synthesize your brain, your brain [00:26:00] works as a gateway to open the cords of your heart to express the divine wisdom of your soul. And here we are. Breathing, loving, receiving.

Lourdes: Tantra also says there are no ugly humans. There are no ugly bodies. And so whatever part of our body we are ashamed of, because it doesn't look like

Lourdes: the models in the magazines or on TV. We learn to come in to our hearts and love our imperfections. The parts of our body that we feel are too big or too small. or too flat or too not too lumpy or whatever [00:27:00] and say that as Aaron said earlier, God Goddess didn't make any mistakes. And the more that we can come to accept every millimeter of our bodies, the more we can come to expect, accept every millimeter within everyone else's bodies, and we can come to really appreciate.

Lourdes: The perfection of the imperfect

Lourdes: and from here we can open ourselves to fully receive pleasure in every aspect of our being because we're not hiding ourselves and we learn to fully accept others in every millimeter of their being. Because there's nothing inside of us that we are ashamed of. So we don't have to project that person is a [00:28:00] slut because I have not owned my inner slut.

Lourdes: Or that person is too big or too loud or too much because we have not allowed our own full expression of our too much. It's understanding that whatever programming we got in the past no longer serves us. And to be able to drop that and to really come into harmony, balance and peace with who we are becoming with that biological imperative inside of us that says,

Lourdes: "Who are you to play small in the world?

Lourdes: Who are you to dim your light? The world doesn't need you to pretend that you are smaller than you are. [00:29:00] The world needs you to fully shine your light, fearlessly, shamelessly.

Lourdes: No guilt.