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In this episode, hosts Mandy and Gillian are joined by IFBB Bikini Pro Jessica Miller, an incredibly bubbly and dynamic guest who shares her journey to the pro stage and how she juggles bikini-pro life as a busy single mom of two beautiful daughters! Jessica earned her IFBB pro card after many attempts and shares how her faith helped her to understand the importance of timing and God’s plan. This episode is full of all the feels and you’ll find yourself smiling from ear to ear hearing how Jessica has grown to love herself and how she has used her positive mindset to overcome a toxic relationship and make a statement in the IFBB pro league! We know you will be inspired by the strategies and mindset Jessica embodies to navigate the rigors of a busy schedule as a pro athlete with the best title in the world- MOM!
Make sure to rate, subscribe, and leave us reviews on how much this podcast has helped you 💕 We’d love to hear from you about future topics you would like us to discuss so please leave us a comment or reach out to us with your questions and suggestions!
Connect with and follow today's guest, IFBB BIkini Pro Jessica Miller
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_msfitmiller_/
About Momshell Method Fitness:
Make sure to rate, subscribe, and leave us reviews on how much this podcast has helped you 💕 We’d love to hear from you about future topics you would like us to discuss so please leave us a comment or reach out to us with your questions and suggestions!
Connect with and follow today's guest, IFBB BIkini Pro Jessica Miller
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_msfitmiller_/
About Momshell Method Fitness:
Ready to embark on your fitness journey? We would love to help you reach any fitness goal from losing the baby weight to crushing your competition goals!
Follow this link to schedule a discovery call with one of our team members and learn how Momshell Method Fitness can provide you with the tools you need to be successful with customized nutrition and training plans for busy moms → http://bit.ly/loseweightgetsexy
Contact your hosts:
Mandy Rochon
Facebook: Mandy Rochon
Gillian Hughes, IFBB Bikini Pro
Facebook: Gillian Hughes
Mandy’s Posing Sessions
1:1 In Person (KC Posing Studio) → https://bit.ly/inpersonposingwithmandy
1:1 Virtual Posing → https://bit.ly/virtualposingwithmandy
Posing with Gillian Hughes, IFBB Bikini Pro
1:1 In Person (St Louis Posing Studio) → https://bit.ly/stlposingwithgillianifbbpro
1:1 Virtual Posing → https://bit.ly/virtualposingwithgillianifbbpro
Nuethyx Formulations Supplements →
(Use code “Momshell” to save 10% off your order)
Toxic Angelz Bikinis → https://toxicangelzbikinis.com
(Use code “GILLIAN” or code “MANDY” to save 15% off your order)
MISAJO Sports —> https://shopsiham.com/collections/workout
(Use code “GILLIAN10” to save 10% off your order)
Squeeze Me Skinny Waist Trainers → https://www.squeezmeskinny.com
(Use code “MOMSHELL” to save 10% off your order)
The Shoe Fairy competition heels → https://www.shoefairyofficial.com
(Use code “momshell” to save 15% off your order)
Labwork and Personalized Recommendations: Practitioner Depot: https://bit.ly/practitionerdepotxmomshell (Use code “momshell” to save 5% off your order)
Our Amazon storefront- fitness outfits, more supplements, beauty items and competition needs → https://amzn.to/46GL1nd
Creators and Guests
Host
What is Bikinis After Babies?
Bikinis After Babies is the one and only podcast where real moms talk about their bodybuilding contest experiences. We are sharing the inside scoop, the nitty-gritty, the hardships and the victories as we navigate the rigors of competition prep while juggling family and careers. We’ll be joined by IFBB bikini pros who share their incredible stories of managing many responsibilities as athletes while defying stereotypes as women who compete in bikinis after babies!
Whether you’re a new mom thinking about stepping on stage for the first time, or a mom looking for inspo and insight on how to manage contest prep as a busy mom, this podcast offers helpful tips and inspiring stories for moms with big goals!! Make sure to rate, subscribe, and leave us a review to let us know how much this podcast has helped you 💕
About Momshell Method Fitness:
Ready to embark on your fitness journey? We would love to help you reach any fitness goal from losing the baby weight to crushing your competition goals!
Follow this link to schedule a discovery call with one of our team members and learn how Momshell Method Fitness can provide you with the tools you need to be successful with customized nutrition and training plans for busy moms → http://bit.ly/loseweightgetsexy
Mandys Posing Sessions
1:1 In Person (KC Posing Studio) → https://bit.ly/inpersonposingwithmandy
1:1 Virtual Posing → https://bit.ly/virtualposingwithmandy
Posing with Gillian Hughes, IFBB Bikini Pro
1:1 In Person (St Louis Posing Studio) → https://bit.ly/stlposingwithgillianifbbpro
1:1 Virtual Posing → https://bit.ly/virtualposingwithgillianifbbpro
Contact your hosts:
Mandy Rochon
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandyrochonfitness/
Facebook: Mandy Rochon
Gillian Hughes, IFBB Bikini Pro
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gillianhughes_momshell/
Facebook: Gillian Hughes
Momshell Method Fitness Supplements → https://www.momshell-method-fitness.myshopify.com
(Use code “BAB” to save 15% off your order)
Toxic Angelz Bikinis → https://toxicangelzbikinis.com
(Use code “GILLIAN” or code “MANDY” to save 15% off your order)
Squeeze Me Skinny Waist Trainers → https://www.squeezmeskinny.com
(Use code “MOMSHELL” to save 10% off your order)
The Shoe Fairy competition heels → https://www.shoefairyofficial.com
(Use code “momshell” to save 15% off your order)
Labwork and Personalized Recommendations: Practitioner Depot: https://bit.ly/practitionerdepotxmomshell (Use code “momshell” to save 5% off your order)
Our Amazon storefront- fitness outfits, more supplements, beauty items and competition needs → https://amzn.to/3zySJ4C
Mandy (00:00)
Hello everyone and welcome back to Bikinis After Babies. I am so excited for this 17th episode. I am one of your hosts, mandy Rochon here with your other beautiful blonde host.
Gillian (00:12)
Hey everybody, thank you so much for tuning in today. I'm one of your hosts, Gillian Hughes, and we have a very special guest on our show today. I am so excited to have her on. Our guest today is Jessica Miller. She is an IFBB Bikini Pro from Florida. She's a mother of two girls, ages eight and 10, and she's been competing for 10 years. Jessica gives back to our industry regularly, working shows and seminars, and she helps others in her career as a posing coach and lifestyle coach.
Mandy (00:20)
Mm-hmm.
Gillian (00:42)
Jessica earned her IFBB Bikini Pro Card in 2021 after several years on the national circuit, and now she is a regular on the IFBB Bikini stage. I'm so excited to have her on the show today. Welcome to Bikini's After Babies, Jessica Miller. Yay!
Mandy (00:56)
Yeah, welcome!
Jessica Miller (00:58)
Thank you! Thank you for having me! I'm so excited!
Gillian (01:02)
Thanks for coming on. I mean, there's so many things I want to dive into today, but I always kind of like to begin by having you share with our audience how it is you got started competing.
Mandy (01:06)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (01:13)
Ooh, that's a good one. I grew up basically, I lost my dad when I was very young and the gym had always been a huge outlet for me. I played soccer, so that was huge. I ran track all the way up through college and I ended up getting married very young and having a baby very young and it didn't quite work out for me. So I figured
Mandy (01:15)
I'm gonna go to bed.
Jessica Miller (01:42)
right off the bat, you know, coming out of a heartbroken relationship that I was gonna compete. And I was finally just gonna do it. So eight months postpartum, I stepped on stage and I fell in love with the sport. Ha ha ha.
Mandy (02:00)
That's incredible, eight months postpartum.
Jessica Miller (02:03)
Yes, I literally was still breastfeeding. So I'm not joking you. I literally was like, she can't eat right now until after I go on stage.
Gillian (02:12)
I'll be back. Oh my gosh. Do you think it was like, it's almost like you don't know, right? If you're brand new, you don't know like really any other experience. So you're probably just like, why can't I sure no problem, right? That's amazing. Did you kind of like use the prep to sort of like get yourself into like a really good routine or did you stay really in shape during your pregnancy or what was that like?
Mandy (02:14)
Oh, that's incredible.
Jessica Miller (02:16)
I was like, I need them to be nice and full.
Mandy (02:21)
They're nice, full and perky.
Jessica Miller (02:23)
Yes!
Right?
I definitely, definitely use it as to get like, you know, my body back, my, my confidence back for sure. Um, so where I went to the gym, you know, they had kid care. So I would bring my kids with me and they would stay in kids care and I would go do cardio and then come back, breastfeed, and then I would go lift. And I mean, it was just, it was routine. And you know, I fell in love with the whole journey. Um, my body changing.
Posing was very different back then, but definitely fell in love with that part. Just about everything that came with it, I just, my passion just exploded for it. And I ended up almost, I basically got qualified and I wanted to go to nationals. I ended up finding out that I was pregnant again. So I, yeah, so I...
I waited to compete again about two years after I had my second one this time. Because I had such a little, I had like a three year old, you know, and then I had a baby. So I wanted to make sure the next time I did it, I was going to get on a national stage and get my pro card. But it did get a lot harder as the years went by. So it was, it was definitely a journey for me. And it was one I will always cherish.
And now looking back, I'm like, man, I wish I could kind of, I would have cherished it more back then.
Gillian (04:15)
Yeah, totally. I mean that like journey to the pro card, like I took a look at all the shows that you had done and it was just like qualifier, pro qualifier. Like, you know, when you're on that hunt for that pro card, it's so easy to just sort of like you're just on a mission and you don't always just like take it in and just go, wow, like it's so cool to be a part of it. But how many years on the national circuit did it take you to like, eventually get your pro card?
Jessica Miller (04:41)
I think it was four. So I kept going into these shows and I would win the overalls. I would win. So I was like, okay, I'm ready for the national stage. And then I would go to the national stage and I would either be top six. I'd be in first call-outs every time. I'd be in top six or top five. And the problem was is, you know, I just, for some reason, I couldn't get my quads down.
I just couldn't and a lot of it I had to learn was also my posing. So you know I was with a very small town coach here. I wasn't with like a big name or anything. You know a lot of what I have learned was through my own experience and doing research myself and really listening to podcasts or YouTubes and watching.
you know, other pros or other amateurs and how they pose and what they were doing and trying them out on myself. So you know, it did take me a lot longer than what it probably does other people, but I'm so happy that it did because I learned so much through the process. And without that, I think just being told what to do, I wouldn't have learned as much as now I know because I actually went through it myself.
Gillian (06:03)
Yeah, absolutely.
Mandy (06:04)
So was that always the judges feedback? So like always like you got top six, you're so close. And then when you get judges feedback, it would always be like the quads and the posing and you just always.
Jessica Miller (06:12)
or bigger shoulders. It was always for me. I never had an upper body. I was soccer player and track runner all my life. So my legs were very dominant compared to my upper body. And so I definitely had to work for years to get my upper body proportionate. And so it definitely was a struggle for me for sure, for sure.
Mandy (06:20)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I grew up playing soccer and I was a defender and so I could sprint. So back a long time ago when bikini competitors were skinnier and you had to do all the sprinting and the high, a lot of HIIT workouts, I'm like, oh, I can do that all day. And so it would always be easy for me to do that. And it's funny looking back on it, because when I was in school, having big legs was a no. And now I'm like, no, now look at it, this is awesome. Now.
Jessica Miller (07:01)
No. They made fun of me. I mean, even the guys would like come up to me and be like, girl, you thick. Or they'd be like, girl, your legs bigger than mine.
Mandy (07:06)
Yeah!
Gillian (07:10)
Hehehehe
Mandy (07:11)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (07:14)
like is this like a compliment or not because I don't know if it is.
Mandy (07:14)
Yeah!
Yeah.
I remember that it was like that in school too. Like if I wore like a denim skirt or like shorts, my legs were so much thicker from just like playing soccer. And I would have like these backhanded comments. And I'm like, okay. And so I like, wasn't sure if it was good or bad or I could never fit in the jeans. But now it's like, yeah, I win. I win now. Yeah, right. Oh yeah, I can imagine.
Jessica Miller (07:38)
Yeah. You're like, what you gonna say now? I wish I was in high school right now so I can look at y'all and go, wish you had it.
Gillian (07:49)
Totally. So what do you think was like the thing that like tipped you over from like being in that like bridesmaids spot to like actually, you know, becoming a pro? Like was it like you said, doing your own research? Was there like a coaching change or like what was it because it feels like you know, when you finally got there, it was, you know, it was like you were a sure first place win.
Jessica Miller (08:14)
Like, do you mean like winning my pro card? Like, like, like rephrase that for me so I can explain.
Gillian (08:21)
So like going into 2021, like of course we had a typical year, you know, I'm sure a lot of people that were maybe in 2019 thinking, okay, I didn't get it this year. Like next year is going to be my year. Like was there something, you know, in your training or yeah.
Jessica Miller (08:33)
Right.
I think it was just finally my time. Like I think that I had gone through so many years where it was like, okay, I've literally fixed everything that the judges want to see. I think now getting a little personal,
Jessica Miller (08:50)
So I was in a very, very bad relationship for a long time. And I think I just was over it. And that person really hurt my ego, would say really terrible things to me. And I think I wanted to prove that person wrong so much to the point where I was like, okay, you say I can't, watch me. I...
Ever since I was little, just the way I grew up, I think I thrive off of people who don't believe in me. And that might not be the best thing, but sometimes you can utilize that pain and really go after everything that you want. And I had learned to do that. So I think that year I was like, oh, I'm gonna be in your face about it. Like, I'm not gonna stop. You say no to me, I'm gonna show up again. Because...
at some point you're gonna be undeniable, right? So I just believed in myself enough to say, you know what, girl, you got this. And I felt it on stage.
Mandy (10:00)
I just got chills you saying that like oh like
Gillian (10:00)
Yeah, I love that gives me chills. Yeah, and anybody who's listening that has had that experience of coming so close and just feeling like, you know, it isn't going to happen. You know, you just have to believe that your time will come and you know, when people say that all the time, like they knew it, like, did you have that sense of like, this is it? Like, I've done everything I can do. It is my time. Like, did you know before they called your name?
Jessica Miller (10:12)
It will.
I knew it. I knew it. I woke up. I peeked perfectly. My makeup was done beautifully. Everything was just so smooth and on point. Um, I just, I felt it in my soul. I went on stage and I was not nervous at all. I was not nervous. I did not stumble. I just, I knew at that point I was like, this is it for me. Like, I'm...
this is gonna be it, I'm gonna do this. And I think my first pro year, that same thing happened as show to show to show. I think I just couldn't, I kept getting better and better and better until the end. I think it was my sixth show that I did. I did six shows that year. And I just kept moving up. And I think everything really is a learning experience. And again, you're also gonna get in front of different judges that,
are subjective to your look. It just is what it is. And you've got to learn on your own who likes my look. Who likes my look? How am I coming in? Are you gonna come in harder? Are you gonna come in softer? For different judges, you gotta kinda appear different. So I think learning that up to that point, I was like, okay, this is my type.
Gillian (11:45)
I think that's so interesting.
Mandy (11:45)
It's like you said, it's like doing-
doing as much as you did, like learning it yourself, doing your own research, figuring it out yourself. Like if somebody gave you those answers and somebody told you what to do, do you think you'd be as like good as you are now and as like polished as you are now and have all the experience, you know, going through that grind, you just get so much out of it. And it's like, yeah, there's like some blood, sweat and tears that go into it, but like what you learn is just, like you said, it's undeniable. Like you gain so much out of it.
Jessica Miller (12:16)
Yeah, it tastes so much better. And you know, you never understand.
Mandy (12:18)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (12:19)
You always question, you know, why, why can't, why isn't this happening for me? Or why is this happening to me, right? And the thing is, you know, I am a high believer in the Lord, and then I will tell you, you know, he's either trying to redirect you or he's protecting you. So, you know, I do believe that if it's meant to be and it's your time, then it will. And if it's not, then there is other reasons as to why. You just haven't found out yet.
Gillian (12:52)
I love that. So I want to go back to something that you said, because this is something that we understand pretty well, Mandy and I having been in the sport for a while. But for some of our newer competitors that are listening into the podcast, can you explain from a pros perspective what it means by maybe being in front of a panel of judges that like your look? I think that's really hard for people to sort of grasp. We understand it, it is what it is. We know it's subjective sport. We understand how the scoring works.
Jessica Miller (12:53)
Yeah.
Gillian (13:22)
but if you could sort of talk about that a little bit to give our listeners some context.
Jessica Miller (13:27)
Yeah, I mean, honestly, as your physique changes, right, each... I will say as your physique changes, each prep is going to change for you. The way you look on stage is going to change for you. So, you know, you're going to have some judges who like a dark hair look. They like that dark hair and they like a more muscular, dense, harder look. Then you're going to have some that...
like a softer look, which is not as much muscle. And then you're gonna have, most of the judges do light conditioning. If your conditioning is right off the bat, most of them are not gonna be okay with that. This is bodybuilding. So, but at the end of the day, you do have to figure out, are they gonna go for that blonde look with the softer look?
and not as much muscle or are they looking for that dark horse with more muscle and a harder look? And I also think, you know, it really depends on who is winning the Olympia and the Arnold setting the standard each year that sets the standard. Now obviously, you know, Tyler Mannion goes over what they want to see, you know, that's we know that. But
Regardless, you're still gonna have judges who have a specific look that they like over other looks. So you do have to figure that out for yourself on who seems to like your look better.
Mandy (15:09)
Mm-hmm.
Gillian (15:11)
It makes our sport so exciting, because you just never know who's gonna win. But for people who are like, they wanna predict the outcome, they probably just need to pick a different sport for themselves because you just can't. And that's why I think it's so important to lean into what you said about really enjoying the journey and the experience and taking a lot from it, because you can't always guarantee the outcome. You don't always win. You don't take home the pro card every single time you try. And so you're gonna miss out on all the lessons and all the growth
Mandy (15:22)
Oh yeah.
Gillian (15:41)
on winning because I mean I'll have clients that are brand new and I'm very competitive I like have to win I'm like you might want to pick something else because I can't guarantee I mean everybody brings it everybody's bringing their best and you just don't know so but for girls who've been in a long time you know.
Jessica Miller (15:55)
Yep. And it could be the smallest thing, what people don't really realize. It could be your tan is off that day. It could be that your makeup artist didn't do your makeup correctly to match your tan. Right. It could be that you accidentally dropped your food on the floor. It could be that you didn't have enough time to pump up. I mean, it is literally...
There is so many factors to how you show up on stage. And those are the things that people don't really understand unless you do it. So.
Gillian (16:30)
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yes, that was what I was gonna segue into next is posing.
Mandy (16:31)
Yeah.
Yeah, and that definitely goes into posing as well too. Like, practice. I was like, oh, this goes right into posing because I feel like, you know, so many of our clients, again, new clients, and then even experienced clients that have been on the stage multiple times, like the biggest struggle they have is posing. People can go to the gym, you know, you get in the habit of meal prepping and like your nutrition, but when it comes to like posing, it just seems like for some reason that is, it is so hard to put on that heels and practice at home or practice at the gym or record yourself
or watch yourself do it. So what advice would you give to new competitors or seasoned competitors to help them with posing?
Jessica Miller (17:13)
Well, I'll tell you guys the same thing that I tell my posing clients, right? You need to start early because posing is an illusion to the judges. I have seen multiple people not have the best physique and win because of their posing. So you know, I think a lot of girls go, oh yeah, I wear heels all the time. It's not the same thing. It is not the same thing. So walking in the heels.
how you're transitioning with your hands and your feet and are you smiling? Is your face off? Is your, it's literally performing and dancing on stage. And so I would say just walking in your shoes is huge. So making sure three months prior to your show, four months prior, you're breaking in your shoes because
Mandy (17:58)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (18:11)
They're not always the most comfortable. And again, as we, you know, on stage day, you know, we're oiled up, our feet are slipping, we're tanned, as we lose weight, it's so crazy, I lose it in my feet too. I don't know if you guys do, but I do too. And yeah, so things you don't really think about, right? So.
Mandy (18:14)
Mm-hmm.
Gillian (18:28)
I do too. Yes. My hands, my rings are loose, like everything. Yes, my shoes, everything. Yeah.
Mandy (18:29)
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Jessica Miller (18:39)
You wanna do as much as you can prior to that stage day so you're already ready. So what I tell a lot of my clients and what I'll have them do is get your jewelry, put on your jewelry, put your hair down, get on a bikini, walk in your shoes, act like it's stage day because if you do not and you don't throw that sass, they don't think about, oh, I have to throw my hair back so it's not stuck on my triceps and so that they can see my body correctly
Mandy (19:07)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (19:08)
oh, when I'm turning or when I'm walking out, I have to put my hair off my shoulder. You know, it's those little things that you're not thinking, oh, my earrings are dangled, so it can't get stuck in my hair. It's all the little things. And then when I make them do it, they go, oh my goodness. And I said, yes. So we don't want that to happen on stage day, right? So we wanna make sure that you know what to do if that does.
Mandy (19:20)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And to feel that comfortable on stage to like move if something happens. Because what if your hair like even though you practice and practice what if your hair does it falls and like if you're so nervous and so stiff, like, you're not going to be like, Oh, I need to move that. But if you do that, like that fluidity, it's like, it's natural. And the judges like look at it naturally instead of like robotic.
Jessica Miller (19:40)
Keep going.
Yes.
Mandy (19:56)
Or you forget to and it hides your, like imagine like, okay, you work so hard and because you're so stiff, you forget to do that. Something so minor could like be such a big deal.
Jessica Miller (20:04)
Yep, that's a big deal. And on top of it, you know, a lot of new athletes, you tend to kind of go blank and you freeze sometimes. You know, so if you've done it enough, it becomes routine on stage. And if you do blackout, you still end up doing your routine without even thinking about it because it's now routine to you. So on stage, no matter what, you're like, oh.
Mandy (20:15)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (20:32)
I just hit that and I didn't even understand that I hit that, you know? So it's a good thing. You gotta be a robot, man.
Mandy (20:35)
Yeah.
Gillian (20:35)
Yeah. You like walk down the other side and you're like, what happened? Yeah. Or you watch your video and you're like, I don't even remember that happening. Like, you're like, oh wait, I'm done already.
Mandy (20:38)
Yeah, yeah, you see those photos and you're like, Oh, I did do it.
Jessica Miller (20:45)
Yup.
Mandy (20:45)
Yeah.
Gillian (20:48)
Well, I have always loved watching all of your posing. Like I have several of your posing videos saved that I like will like use for inspiration. And I think like my favorite thing about watching your pose is you just look like you're having the time of your life. And what a lot of moms really struggle with is to be able to like embody that because it's so different than what they're doing the rest of their life. You know, they have this one show day where they get to like be so glammed up and maybe they haven't, you know, had that experience in such a long time.
Jessica Miller (21:02)
Thank you.
Gillian (21:19)
help somebody get into that and then maybe like some tips on like how you get yourself into that like you know that groove of just really having so much fun up there.
Jessica Miller (21:28)
Honestly, I'll have my clients put on music sometimes because they will be so stiff that I'm like, what's your favorite song? And I put it on. And I'm like, no, I'm very, I'm a very positive aura. I am all about fun and laughing. And I think that is what life is about. And so if you're not having fun up on that stage.
Mandy (21:51)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (21:55)
I promise you those judges are going to see it. If you're not bringing your style and your personality to stage and you're bringing mine or somebody else's, those judges are going to see it. So if you're a bubbly person, bring the bubbly personality to stage. Don't bring a sexy personality, right? So if you're sexy, bring a sexy personality, but also you need to tame it a little because they do like the girl next door, right? We're not...
Mandy (22:14)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (22:25)
dancers if you know what I mean in that way, right? So, what I mean is it's really important to know your clients and know how their personality is. So I generally try to get to know my clients first. So I'll put on a song and I'm like, ooh, they're not comfortable. So let's put on like a country song instead, you know? And I get there, you know, I have to teach them, you know, use your hips, use, this is like dancing. You are performing.
Gillian (22:27)
Yeah.
Mandy (22:28)
Yeah.
Jessica Miller (22:54)
You need to be comfortable. And again, if they are not a sexy person, I'm not gonna try to make them do sexy transitions. I'm not gonna try to make them be somebody they're not. I want them to be themselves on stage so that the judges, they can make eye contact and really stand out to the judges.
Mandy (23:13)
Mm-hmm. That's so well said. That is, I could fully relate to that. I used to try to be sexy. I used to, I tried so hard. I did, I was like, I have to be sexy. Jillian, I've never told you that, but I did. I used to think I had to be so sexy and I would try this sexy, like, the whole thing. Like, I did, 100%. If you cannot tell, my personality is absolutely not that. So.
Gillian (23:26)
No, you haven't.
Did you just look like really pissed off? Cause like I've seen that before where someone's like, they look mad cause they're trying to be like sultry.
Mandy (23:42)
Can it not smile?
I tried to make like, because I always smile and I tried to make that sexy and like my movement and my hip movements and the music and my hand transition. And I was always so uncomfortable, like always. And that's actually probably why I never practice posing near as much as I should have in my early season. And then like, now, I love it more than anything because I embrace it. But I think how you explained it is so well for people to understand, be yourself on stage. Because if you try to be somebody you're not, then the
going to see that. And I sometimes see this backstage going on stage is where girls will try so hard to have completely different hair colors, wigs, different, like be a whole different person because they think it you know, it's fun or it looks cool. But what happens is you might be so uncomfortable, you're not gonna like feel good. And the whole thing is like you have a whole day where you can be like a princess and be yourself and like embody like who you are and present that on stage. But I love I love how you explain that.
so well and using the music is a great idea. That's super smart.
Jessica Miller (24:47)
Yes, it definitely helps, especially clients who have never walked in heels before.
Mandy (24:53)
Hahaha
Gillian (24:54)
warming them up and just getting used to it for sure. Yeah. And I love how you said that you're just like, you believe in positive energy. And that's another thing that's like every time I've encountered, like I've run into you at shows and whatnot, and you've always just been, you're always smiling, you're always upbeat. Is that like something that has just been who you are always or like, you know, and certainly, you know, everyone's gone through stuff in their life and gone through adversity. Like how do you stay in that positive mind frame?
Jessica Miller (25:25)
Whoo, I have had to work on it. I think if it wasn't for me getting into like, let's be real toxic relationships.
I think I would have been that way all the time. I tend to love and I tend to love the wrong people. So I have learned that through staying in those types of relationships that if somebody doesn't bring a positive into my life, then they are not meant to be there. And so I have had to fight all my life to...
uh... because being a mom as you guys know it's a very stressful chaotic thing to wake up to every day it's very anxiety-ridden uh... but i started to change my mindset around i started to when i start to feel like i am getting anxious i will turn on and i will dance with my kids we do dance mornings and it's a dance party and we'll do it for a whole song and
It's so amazing because I'll sit back now and I'm trying not to cry. But like I'll see my kids' personality change and then they're not so chaotic. They're calm, they're calmer. And I think how we take things and react to them is huge. So if your children are not, you know, your children act out through environment.
They're watching you. So if you engage with them in a different way, they're gonna engage back with you in a different way, and they're going to learn how to react to things differently. And the reason I say this is because my 10-year-old is ADHD and she also was ODD. Now that's environmental, she can grow out of that. That's a defiant disorder. And so she has done a lot better, I'd say the last four months.
Again, we wake up and we start, there's three things every night before bed that I ask her what she loves about herself. And they can be physical or not physical, right? So I ask her those three things, we talk about those, and then in the morning we go over the same thing, what are three things that you love about yourself this morning? And I think those have really helped her.
I've done a lot of research and reading and trying to figure out how to take somebody from being so anxious like a little girl who's 10 to not so anxious and calming her. And a lot of the times what we don't realize is they just need love. They need to feel safe. So I think, you know, what would I want?
You know, even as an adult, what would I want? I wanna feel safe, I wanna feel loved. So being positive is easy for me because that's what I want. So I'm going to smile at somebody in the gym and not be mean. You know, regardless if a girl's giving me a dirty look because I'm wearing a sports bra and shorts, you know, I'm gonna smile at them. And it's funny because most days those people will come up to me and be like, there's just this positive aura around you.
You know, you just, you're so intimidating, but in the greatest way, like, you know, and they're like, you're so nice. And I'm like, I feel like that's how I'd want somebody else to treat me, so I'm gonna treat them that.
Gillian (29:07)
Yeah, I love that.
Mandy (29:07)
That's so beautiful. That is, like.
Jessica Miller (29:09)
Yeah.
Mandy (29:11)
Because because you probably are helping so many people and you don't even know is what's amazing. Like there's probably people at the gym that see you smile and they're like, you probably motivate them and you help them go and they feel comfortable. You're like you're putting that environment out there. And like you said, like that's what you want. So you give that back to your kids and like you give that to your environment and like your space and it's just it's so beautiful. And I love that for your kids. That's absolutely amazing. I think about raising Carson and you know, my
son being 14. It's like he's go he plays club soccer. He's been a soccer player since he could kick a ball. But yeah, he's a good soccer player. He's a sprinter. But it's interesting you say like how the environment that you give them because like I've seen my son like build up anxiety and I can see it and I'm just like what would I want in this moment and it will be something
Jessica Miller (30:10)
Oh yeah.
Mandy (30:11)
turning and I it's just
I have this motto to wear for my child. Like I want to be so reliable that I'm boring. So I, ever since I have been like had Carson and raised him, I want him to always know that I will be there. Like it's not even, like you don't even think about it. Like if you have something or need something or want something, it's just like mom, cause I'm so reliable that it's just boring. And he actually told me like a month ago that I'm boring. And I was like, oh, that's the best.
Jessica Miller (30:41)
Yes! I love it!
Gillian (30:42)
Hehehehe
Mandy (30:43)
I was so excited when he told me, I was like, you don't understand, like that's like the best compliment. Because I'm giving this environment to this child so he can nurture and that's so beautiful that you take the time to do that for your kids. That is.
Jessica Miller (30:56)
structure and what people don't realize is, you know, kids are not free to just do whatever they want, they need structure. Kids need structure and that is how they're going to be responsible and reliable as they continue to grow.
Gillian (31:12)
I agree. And I think like our own structure provides us with more freedom to be able to give of ourselves to them. And I say this all the time that like, because you know, I got my workouts done, I don't have to think about my food, like I'm meal prepped, like my lifestyle as a bodybuilder is actually really simple. And so that I have more energy to use for my children. And I'm not like thinking about, you know, oh, I'm behind, I have to catch up and do extra cardio, like I'm on target. I know what I need to do, like I'm
have to think about it. So I think there is an opposite perception of our lifestyle that it's like so high maintenance, so much work, but for moms who are doing the sport and crushing it like yourself, like that structure is just a part of who we are and you know we're able to you know give to our families and you know we're not really spending all of our time on ourselves. We have very dedicated time to the gym but everybody's taken care of because you know we have our structure that helps us to run you know things smoothly.
Jessica Miller (32:10)
Oh, you can find me three places, right? The gym, the grocery store, or at my house.
Gillian (32:16)
Yeah. It's me too. Yeah, I know.
Mandy (32:19)
Yeah, that's spot on. Yeah.
Jessica Miller (32:21)
Right? I'm like anybody who knows me, they already know where I'm at.
Gillian (32:26)
I know. So I'm gonna dive into a little bit of a juicy topic. So tell me a little bit about what it's like dating and being a mom and being a professional athlete and juggling a career, like you've got a lot on your plate. So what has that sort of experience been like for you?
Jessica Miller (32:38)
Ooh.
Hmm. Well, I had a seven-year engagement. I had a fiance and, you know, he basically helped raise my youngest, so he was there throughout them growing up. It just, it got too much for him. What I'm realizing is it is very hard to date as a bikini pro. Competing itself, really.
Um, you have to find somebody who is very secure with who you are and who they are. And there is one thing I will definitely say that I have learned is I will not change what I'm passionate about and who I am for any man. I will not do it. I have tried and it makes me very unhappy and I don't think it's fair.
I do think there are certain things that you can change about yourself in the relationship as long as they change as well and you can grow together, but I don't think you should have to change everything about yourself to please somebody else, especially when it's something that you're passionate about. So dating, I, you know, nowadays, let's just say it, this is the best way I could say it.
be with other people very easily, right? In this generation, I'm just, I'm a very old soul. I am not that way. And I have purposely not been with very many people and I am proud to say that. And I have tried to make relationships work, I think because I do have two kids and I don't wanna bring in multiple people in my kids' lives. So right now I am, I'm definitely just
worrying about my kids and not dating. I did have another failed relationship after I left my abusive relationship two years ago, and that is okay. I realized really fast, I think, men on the outside, and this is just me speaking from my experience, they see a very beautiful woman and we're like a trophy, right? It's amazing. They forget to polish the trophy.
And the issues are is that trophy's always going to be a trophy, right? So I think what tends to happen is they want you to change. They think that, especially as a pro athlete for me, like my goal is to get to the Olympia and I'm not going to stop till I do. So I don't think that they realize how much that takes. I mean, your life is robotic. It's structured.
And if you are not somebody who can deal with that, then you definitely should not be with a pro athlete. Absolutely not. Because I'm not somebody who's gonna go out drinking. I'm not somebody who's gonna skip the gym to go out on your boat. I'm just not. I'm gonna go to the gym and then we can go out in the boat. So what I found with my last relationship, I feel like...
They tend to get jealous because you start climbing, right?, they start seeing you peek and they want to pull you back.
and change you so that you're not up here. And I just think that I haven't found my person yet. I just haven't, and that's okay. That is okay. I know that God's timing will be right for me when it's right, and I won't have to second guess that I'm somebody's person. So I wanna show that to my kids because it was really heartbreaking going through what I just went through yet again. I just feel like...
Mandy (36:34)
Yeah.
Jessica Miller (36:52)
Men have a hard time.
They have a hard time being loyal. And that is okay, but not when it comes to what I want in my life. And if you're not ready, then you should just move along. My two little girls are watching everything. And I know that they want me happy, but I also want them to see what true love is. So that's very important to me.
Mandy (37:06)
But with
Yeah, they're always watching that and that's
Like you can go through so much, but the decisions that you make and from how you explain everything is you're making all those decisions while your little girls are watching you be like the best version of you and not compromising who you are. And just because there's another person, another human being that's like, has, you know, beats you down or has expectations, has like these like lower expectations. Like they want you to have, you know, kind of demean yourself, you know, to like lower, to make yourself less than. But you show your girls, you're like,
Jessica Miller (37:54)
Yeah.
Mandy (38:00)
No, that's not what you do. That's not how you do it. You deserve to be with somebody that truly loves you for who you are and for the work that you wanna put into this one life that we all live. And like you're showing them that. So that person is out there for you. It is hard. Like I've been with my husband for 10 years and we've been married for eight, but I will say I feel like the reason a lot of this we've had success is because you've kind of touched on it a little.
Jessica Miller (38:17)
Girl!
Mandy (38:29)
bit. I feel like there is it's very hard when you know, like you want to be a pro athlete, like you know that and the work that goes into that is very different from like, okay, from amateur to like nationals. And then from nationals, you're like, No, I know what I want. And the grind that goes into that. I feel like the reason my husband and I kind of compliment each other is because he does the same thing with his own business. So yeah, he has his own business and his own thing. So it's like, if I support that he supports me and we can kind
Jessica Miller (38:53)
Okay.
Mandy (38:59)
to compliment each other. And it like we've been able to thrive that way. And like the jealousy thing is fascinating to me because there's been he has always respected my gym going he he's always gone to the gym. He's always known about competitors. So he's always understood it. But when we got married and you know, the photo shoots and the sports bras and the tight, he's always like, No, that's my wife. This is what she does. This is her business. This is what she does for work. But the other guy, but like his friends
Jessica Miller (39:27)
That's amazing.
Mandy (39:29)
be like, I could never. And he's like, No, this is just what she does. Like, this is just it. And it's like, it's been like that our entire relationship. And I can't. Thank you. I can only imagine though, like, dating somebody and having to go through that and not going to the bars and not going drinking like
Like I have clients that are lifestyle clients and I coach them through like, this is how you go on dates, like you're fine, it's okay. And they love it, they learn. But it's like, no, you wanna be at, this is the time I go to bed, this is the time I go to the gym, this is my kids, this is this. It's like, they have.
Jessica Miller (40:02)
Yes, that's what I do. And as a single mom, you know, I don't think that my, the relationship I was just in, I don't think he understood how much time and effort it really took. And, you know, I also think him not having kids, he didn't understand how much comes with kids, right? And, and again, that's okay. That is okay. But I
I truly know now that I will never allow somebody to demean me ever again or make me feel bad about being a pro athlete. I think that's what did it for me. Somebody questioning, well, what did even getting your pro card do for you? What does even being a pro athlete do for you? That's just ridiculous. Like, it didn't even take anything to get there. And I was like, I'm sorry. What?
Mandy (40:56)
Oh my gosh.
Jessica Miller (40:58)
So the craziest thing is this person was with me for a full year watching me do it, you know? So, and it's fine, but again, I think you have to meet your match where their energy is the same as your energy, communication is open, they're not more alpha than you are, and I will say I am very much so an alpha, but I have to be because of my kids. And...
Mandy (41:25)
Mm-hmm.
Gillian (41:26)
I think we're all a lot alike in this sport, especially, you know, having kids and then struggling as much as you do. Like you just have to be, you really can't be feeble and have somebody who's picking up the slack for you all the time. Like you will not get anywhere, you know, and that's a big personality that it takes a really confident man to be able to, you know, I'm not going to say like rise above, but I do like believe in those like feminine and masculine relationships. Like I can really do everything myself, but like I would like to have a man to like.
Mandy (41:29)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (41:40)
No.
Mandy (41:40)
Mm-hmm.
Gillian (41:55)
do the manly things, but I can also do the manly things. You know, and so that's, that's like, you know, it's a tall order, but like that dynamic, like it can exist. And I dated a, between my like first marriage and my second marriage, I dated a competitor thinking like, this is gonna be great. Cause like, he'll understand the lifestyle. And it was just like, we were like in a race all the time. Like, you know, who was doing more cardio and who was having better check-in. And it was like, we were competing with one another and it just like, wasn't very positive.
have children so you know he said the kids would hold me back from getting a pro card and I was like that's the silliest thing I've ever heard watch me do it anyway so I was kind of like you that I was just like I'm gonna show you know but you know I think
Jessica Miller (42:27)
See, yeah
I've never dated a competitor. That's funny. I think maybe that's my issue. I don't know. You know, I've always dated people who don't really understand the industry. And I think maybe that is the issue. I don't know. But what I do know is that when you put your heart and soul into this, you've got to have a good support system. And I will not.
exclusively date anybody again until I know that person is going to be my best friend and they're going to support who I am and what I do.
Gillian (43:13)
Yeah, just keep that bubble small and yeah.
Mandy (43:13)
You know what's gonna happen now, right? We're gonna put this podcast is gonna air and I swear to gosh, watch, I wanna be invited to the wedding. Okay, listen, you're gonna meet, some guy is gonna come on here and be like, hey, I'm your person and you're gonna start dating him. And yes, that's exactly what's gonna happen.
Gillian (43:23)
Same.
Jessica Miller (43:32)
manifest it.
Gillian (43:36)
Leave a comment below if you're an eligible bachelor. And we'll like do the vetting. Me and Mandy will like vet all these bachelors and make sure that they like meet all the criteria. This is gonna be great. I'm so excited. I love it. You never know. We're like number 10 in Portugal.
Jessica Miller (43:38)
I love it. Yes!
Mandy (43:47)
We'll vet them.
Jessica Miller (43:47)
you guys make a checklist for me.
Yeah, right? What the heck yeah?
Mandy (43:56)
Yeah.
Gillian (43:58)
We are. We're all over the world.
Oh, well, thank you for sharing all that. Like I wanted to kind of dive into it because I know there's so many women listening to this podcast who are just like searching for like that role model, like somebody they can really identify with. And I remember when I went through my divorce and I'm like competing and trying to pay bills and like just trying to get my life together. And I was like, just looking at all these women and just like, oh, she's got this. You know, like you can't help but kind of compare. It's so great to have these like leaders that are just like, look at all the things that I'm doing. And like I've overcome X, Y, and Z.
and you know I just love when people can like really share who they really are and like when we first started talking before we even started recording you were like you know I just want to be really real and we all want more of that but it's so hard to be real because people can be like very critical and I wish we could shut them all up and it's like one person will say something and you could have 90 amazing comments but sometimes that negativity is really loud so I think you know that holds some people back have you ever like struggled with being like vulnerable
Jessica Miller (44:46)
Yeah.
I have, but I think I'm at the point in my life where I know who I am now. It's taken me a lot of heartbreak and hurt from these past relationships to really dig deep in myself and figure out what I will and will not allow in my life anymore from friendships to relationships. You know, I just, I want to be happy. And I am.
finally happy and I don't think that I need a man in order to be happy. I think, yes, it will make me feel more complete when I find my person, but I'm not looking for it anymore. And I also think judgmental-wise, usually those people are the ones that are envious and usually those people are the ones that are going through something. So even in the gym when somebody—
Gillian (45:47)
That's usually when it happens.
Jessica Miller (46:00)
say they're having a bad day or they're rude to me, right? I just smile. And I honestly, inside my head, I pray for them because they're probably going through something that you don't understand. And usually the next day they will come in and be like, I am so sorry. And I'll be like, it's all good. And they'll let me know what happened. And they're like, you're so nice. And so what we really don't understand is anybody can be a tough guy behind text messages and on social media, right?
But realistically, they probably don't love themselves. So that's sad, and I pray for them.
Gillian (46:33)
Yeah, that's true. That is sad. That's a really good way of looking at it. It's true. Yeah. So, um, share with us what you're working towards and what your show plans are for this year.
Mandy (46:35)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (46:46)
So I only have two picked out right now. I am going to be, I'm five weeks out from Utah. So excited. It's supposed to be a really awesome show. Yes, yes. Very hard for me to say, but it's an amazing show from what I hear. So I'm super excited about that. And then I-
Mandy (46:54)
It's exciting! So exciting.
Gillian (46:58)
Is that the Wasatch, Wasatch Warrior? Yeah. Cool.
Mandy (47:01)
The massage? The Sasquatch. I'll watch.
Jessica Miller (47:10)
I am going to be going right into my second peak week doing the Girl Power show in Orlando.
Gillian (47:17)
and then Olympia qualification and 2024 Olympia, right? Yes. Girl.
Mandy (47:18)
That'll be so exciting.
Jessica Miller (47:22)
I will not stop. If I have to do 20 shows, bring it on. I'm not gonna stop.
Mandy (47:24)
Yeah.
Love it.
Gillian (47:29)
I love it. Oh, I can't wait. It feels like it's your time. And I just watched you keep growing and growing and just climbing. And so I'm just so excited to see how this year pans out for you.
Jessica Miller (47:34)
It is.
I appreciate you guys so much and I think what's driving me even more is my beautiful girls.
Mandy (47:49)
That's, I will say like I've never had the chance to compete without children. I've always competed with my son and
I've always loved it. It's been fun to have him grow with me and learn and just be a part of it. He's learned how to respect women, he's learned women's bodies, he's learned healthy choices, he's learned how to eat. And the structure, all of it, all of it, it's just so great for kids to be in it and for having the little girls in there watch you and see how hard you work. It's just, it melts.
Jessica Miller (48:06)
Yes.
My kids can't wait. They've literally asked me like 15 times, Mom, when can we go to the gym with you? When can we go to the gym with you? When can we work out with you? And I'm like, ah, you gotta be a little...
I can't wait, I can't wait. So, and they think it's like the coolest thing when I'm on stage, they literally are like, you are a princess. And I'm like, yes I am. Ha ha.
Mandy (48:38)
Yeah, cars.
Gillian (48:38)
Yeah, it's probably just natural that they'll fall on your footsteps. Yeah, that's awesome. Yes, you are. I love it.
Mandy (48:46)
Mm-hmm.
We actually got my husband a shirt last show, and it says Trophy Husband. Trophy Hubs, yeah. Yeah.
Gillian (49:00)
Oh, I love it. Well, I do like to ask all of our guests if you have a piece of advice that you could give to other women that are on their journey of competing and trying to just figure out how to fit it all in. What is like your top tip for just juggling it all?
Jessica Miller (49:17)
Oh, you gotta, I mean for me, it's every night I sit down and I figure out how my day's gonna be the next day. It's really making sure every Sunday I'm meal prepped for the entire week. It's really keeping to a schedule because I realize that if I don't sit down and schedule things out, if my mind is a mess, then my entire life is a mess.
So making sure that you are prepared to dig deep because it's gonna be your life at that point. I mean, you need to put everything that you have into your prep or you're not ready. Knowing that life is still gonna happen while you're in prep. And in fact, usually it happens like three times worse. Everything that happens, happens. So...
Gillian (50:05)
Yes.
Jessica Miller (50:06)
It's really dealing with those things. Okay, I mean, your kid's sick. Guess what, you gotta go pick up a kid and finish your workout at home. I don't know what to tell ya. I have softball for my kid tonight, and so yeah, my last cardio's gonna be at nine o'clock at night, sucks, but guess what? I'm gonna do it, cause it's gotta get done. So, you know, it's those things that are gonna structure you to really succeed while going through a prep, and then.
Mandy (50:14)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Miller (50:36)
when you're on stage, it'll taste that much better.
Mandy (50:40)
Bet you did all of it, yeah?
Gillian (50:42)
I love it. Awesome. Well, we have learned so much from you today. Jessica, thank you so much for coming on. Is there anybody that you would like to mention or thank before we close out this episode?
Jessica Miller (50:55)
Yeah, I actually started a new training program with an amazing coach, Cory Linder. He's amazing, absolutely incredible. He has implemented lower body for me like five times a week and I hate you, but I love you all at the same time. Is that amazing?
Mandy (51:09)
Ha ha ha.
Gillian (51:09)
Hahaha
Mandy (51:11)
Remember, it'll be worth it.
Jessica Miller (51:13)
Yeah, absolutely. And then also David Dimesquez, he's amazing. He's my coach. He does all my nutrition, my check-ins with me every week. He's been an amazing friend with me. He's stuck with me through a lot of the ups and downs with relationships as well in kids. My sponsors are Pelican Meals. They sponsor me for meals.
Sunset swimwear. She does all my suits, all the glitters, gems. She's my heel and jewelry sponsor. Camp Muscle, they're activewear that I model for them. They're an amazing and amazing people. They are just incredible company. And so I just, I'm so thankful to have all these people in my corner. I can't be, you know,
more blessed to have these people believing in me. So that, those people, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Mandy (52:20)
Thank you so much for being on here today. All your information that you shared was gonna help so many people. And it was so great to hear your stories. And I, like, I know we're all these states away, obviously, but I feel your aura. I feel your energy. I can, like, I don't know. I, it's so fun.
Jessica Miller (52:32)
Thank you.
Gillian (52:33)
I have a cheekache from smiling too, and my heart is so happy right now.
Jessica Miller (52:38)
I can't wait to meet you, girl.
Mandy (52:40)
Yes! Yeah, we can like so many days. Uh, mm-hmm. We'll have to.
Jessica Miller (52:43)
We're gonna have to take a selfie. It's gonna happen.
Gillian (52:45)
Yeah, I won't be there, so you guys will have to just have me there in spirit. But yes, we are.
Jessica Miller (52:49)
with her trophy, with her, cause we're manifesting right now.
Mandy (52:49)
Yeah, yeah. We are manifesting. I'm just so excited. I'm so excited. And also, this will be my first time competing in Masters. So yeah, so really so exciting.
Gillian (52:59)
Yay! Whoop whoop! Welcome! Welcome everybody, I've been here for seven years already. It's great! I used to do them all. 35, 40, open, whatever. Alright, awesome!
Jessica Miller (53:01)
competing in Masters this year too!
Right?
Mandy (53:07)
Oh yeah, it's great.
Jessica Miller (53:15)
I love it.
Mandy (53:16)
Well again, thank you so much, Jessica, for being on. And also any of your social media, we'll make sure to have it in the description notes so everybody can follow your journeys, see your show, see how you get to Olympia this year. Again, manifesting it, you're gonna do it. Yeah, so thank you so much again.
Gillian (53:28)
Yay! All bets on Jessica. Awesome. Thanks everybody for tuning in and thank you, Jessica.
Jessica Miller (53:30)
Right? I am.
Mandy (53:38)
Bye guys!