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Join James Petrossi in 'Leave the Feed: 30 Days of Disconnect' as he interviews creators and mental health advocates about their journeys, the digital quagmire, and tips to create a healthier relationship with social media.
[00:00:00]
James Petrossi: Hello and welcome to Leave the Feed 30 Days of Disconnect. Today is 21 in their shoes, and we're gonna step into our special guest shoes today. Eva Amantea. Welcome to Leave the Feed.
Eva: Hello. Thanks so much for having me, James.
James Petrossi: So to get started, let's talk about you as a creator, how your journey unfolded and where you are today, what you're passionate about, and what you're doing.
Eva: Yes. So what is so funny, and I'm sure you've heard this many times, everyone says. I never intended to be a creator, but I truly, truly, truly never intended to be a creator or an influencer, whatever you wanna call it. That word did not even exist when I started my journey as a creator. I [00:01:00] started as an interviewer.
Interviewing celebrities back in 2011, which is now, oh my gosh, it was 15 years ago. Wild. And I was the one who interviewed the creators or influencers, but we didn't even call them that back then. We called them YouTube Sensations or YouTubers. And the first one I ever interviewed that we even attributed that name to.
Sam Powar, he was from O2 L, if you're familiar. And from there people associated me with like, oh my gosh, it's Ava from on the spot interviews that girl that interviews all those YouTubers. You know, again, that word just didn't exist until well into my journey as an interviewer. So by association, I eventually.
Became a creator or became an influencer and gained like my own, very small in my opinion, following on Instagram. And on YouTube and you know, it's been [00:02:00] magical, but it's so funny when people to this day are like, so do you consider yourself an influencer? And because now people who are considered that have millions of followers, I'm always hesitant if I'm being honest, to say yes.
I'm like. I mean, I'm a micro influencer, but I don't necessarily create reels for millions of people to see. Like I'll pose with like a makeup product or I'll shout out a company. But I feel like the standard, if you will, for doing that, has gotten so high that I'm like, I don't know James, can I even say that?
But that's a, that's a long story short. It's quite funny, like even today my cousin is coming to, san Diego for launching a new skincare product. She's like, you need your advice on a, on like a strategy. And I'm like, I'll do the best I can. But I feel like now I help people once they become influencers, once they have the following, I don't grow the followings anymore.
I used to, I used to [00:03:00] consider myself a social media growth strategist. This is how you get followers. But now my journey has become. The person more behind the scenes, getting people the brand deals, getting people you know, the live appearances. I've kind of transitioned more into sales, however, interviewing will forever be my passion.
James Petrossi: Yeah, definitely. And so tell me about how you started doing interviews, and then also what the transition was like for you to start posting and getting the title of influencer creator and what that was like going through those transitions.
Eva: I'm so glad you asked that because now whenever someone asks me like, how'd you get started? I have a place to point them. So I started as doing interviews for my channel on the spot interviews when I was 14 years old. So I had just started high school and it seemed like. Everyone and their mom had a hobby, whether it be soccer, you know, band, [00:04:00] club key club, A, SB, and I just, I didn't really have anything that caught my attention.
I was in girl scouts, loved girl scouts. Shout out to trip 4, 3, 9, 1. But other than that, I just felt like, not that I was behind necessarily, but my fascination with. The idea of celebrity culture came on later, right? I kid you not. I thought TV was of the devil until I was like 10. I had seen a commercial when I was like six years old.
In the background was my brother was watching tv. Saying it like tv, like Limit your kid's tv. And I took that very literally and I was like, no, I'm not watching Disney Channel. I can't stand how those kids talk to each other. Why are they being so mean to their siblings? So I hated it. Seventh grade comes around, I catch a glimpse of Zach and Cody.
I find them very cute. Still do forever of my celebrity crushes, and I just become enthralled with them [00:05:00] in the summer of. 2010, I wanna say become obsessed. I buy every teen magazine that they're in. I then of course watch Hannah Montana. Everything on Nickelodeon, victorious, you name it. And I realize that there was an event, there was an event called Kids Help Chalk, which is Children's Hospital of Orange County coming to town the summer before.
My freshman year of high school and my cousin was coming into town and she knew all these shows. She watched them at the quote, unquote age, appropriate time too. She was four years younger than me. Shout out to you, Tori. And my mom. I was able to convince my mom to take us to this event and I had so much fun meeting them.
It was like my. Not my childhood dream, because again, I didn't watch these shows when I was, you know, a kid. But my current dream at 14 and I had such a great time meeting them. And right before that I had gone to a taping of Shake it up with my Aunt Adrian. It's a Disney channel show, did very well. It was Bella Thorn, Zendaya, [00:06:00] Aira Goan.
And again, it was just so fascinating to me, this Disney Channel culture, this Nickelodeon culture, and I just became completely enamored with it. And so after going to that event and after going to this like charity event for the hospital and meeting all these celebrities, there was another event that came up a couple months later.
Berry, this girl named Victoria Strauss, who was very passionate about the A-S-P-C-A. And she had a huge celebrity lineup going. And I had noticed that there was gonna be an orange carpet, 'cause orange for A-S-P-C-A, that's their colors. And I really was just like, I, I, I want to go, but I knew there was no way my mom would take me to just go, she does not like la, the drive, whatever, which I can understand.
I was like, how can I like turn this into like Mom, I'm not just going to like say hi and party with celebrities for [00:07:00] clout. Like there's like a purpose behind this. So first of all, Betty White was supposed to show up. She loves Betty White. So I told her, I'm like, but Mom, Betty White's gonna be there. So that was step one, step two, I was like, okay, I can like practice my public speaking skills.
I messaged the person running the event and I was like. Can I like cover the carpet? Turns out one of the people there who was, had his own company, his name's Michael Aker from shoestring videos. He was in charge of basically doing the in-house interviews and his regular red carpet host was not available.
He took a chance on me and was like, you know. I don't know this girl necessarily, but she's obviously very ambitious. If she wants to fill in and do the interviews with these artists, like so be it. So he prepped me. He gave me the questions ahead of time and you know, I explained it to my mom. I basically pitched myself to my own mom, like this is the [00:08:00] situation, and she let me go.
We drove up with my cousin, who was a recording artist at the time, and was actually walking the carpet. So. That was the start of my first interviews and then I made a YouTube channel like the next day I think, called Red Carpet Ava. I sent it to Michael who again was the person who had me do the interviews.
And I was like, how do you like red carpet even? He was like, let's give something with a little more pizazz. What about on the spot interviews And truly like the rest is history. I started interviewing people like around my town in San Diego and I worked my way up to like, you know, smaller stars from different Disney, Nickelodeon shows all the way up to Betty White fun story.
Dick Van Dyke, Paula Abdul, people from my personal favorite shows. As a actual child, the few shows I did watch American Idol extreme Makeover, home Edition, you name it. So that was very special. And as far as the transition into what I do now, [00:09:00] which is influencer marketing I still pitch myself, so to speak.
I love doing different reviews for makeup companies, for collabs. I'm actually currently working on an entire. Roundup, if you will, of collabs for everything Wicked. So I'm doing something with Candy Fetti. I don't know if you've seen the have you seen Wicked yet?
James Petrossi: I have, yes.
Eva: Okay. So I don't know if you've seen if your theater's doing this, but they have like ery sprinkles in pink and green that you can put on your popcorn.
And I'm obsessed with them. I think they're so fun. So. I'm very shameless. I asked the company if they'd be willing to send me some to like talk about, and they did. And so I'm like, great, let's do an entire series of the different collabs. So I pitched myself as the influencer in this situation. To see what different companies I can cover and a good amount have gotten back to me.
So stay tuned. [00:10:00] There's gonna be some fun ones coming soon from jewelry to merch to some more tasty treats, so that's fun. So the transition truly was very natural and it's still, it's fascinating to me because it feels, if I can be very vulnerable for a second, it feels very like. It came natural, but it feels unnatural in the sense that I'm not like making content in the same way.
All my friends who are influencers are. I'm not like day in their life or get ready with me. I'm literally just interviewing a. Sometimes the people who are doing that, but more often the people who aren't. I'm interviewing people who are on TV shows who are doing reality tv, so it's fascinating to me that a lot of times, honestly, what I am posting that are the reels or are the tiktoks, or are the YouTube shorts are me repurposing my interviews.
So it [00:11:00] sometimes does truly feel surreal because. Little did I know all the work I've done in like 1500 interviews, it's been done for me. I don't have to go think each morning like most influencers do. Really. What content am I doing this week? I can repost a funny clip from an interview and it's done. I have, technically speaking, if you think of 1500 interviews, if I can find a funny clip from each of them.
365 days a year. I have basically, if you count, you know, if you can find a couple funny or heartfelt moments in a few of them, five years of content, you know? Yes.
James Petrossi: So it's interesting 'cause you sort of had this aversion to television and media 'cause of your brother. Then you fall in love with some shows. Then all of a sudden you're asking questions on the carpet. as you're going through that and you're putting [00:12:00] yourself out there into the world and your YouTube channel, toll did it take on you emotionally?
Like what happened to your psyche? What are some of the challenges that you faced with your mental health and how did you overcome those?
Eva: So I'm still overcoming them if I'm being honest. I will say full transparency. I started when I was 14. That's when a lot of girls start having body image issues. I started having them closer to like 10, and it's a big reason my parents limited me to going to la Honestly, no more than like once every couple months.
And I didn't understand why Foley at that age, until I truly was like, what is the big issue? Why can't I go to this event? Like, and I would always have a name ready. I'm like, mom, Zendaya is going, mom, Ariana Grande's going to this day. She's [00:13:00] still, and my mom knows this. It's public knowledge. I'm like, mom, now do you know when I, because it was, it became a situation of crying Wolf.
I'm not gonna lie. It's like, Ava, you say every time this big star's gonna be there, like I can't just like, you're gonna then interview hypothetically, Zendaya, and then next week you're gonna be like, but this person's going like you say it every time. She does. Now understand that when I said Ariana Grande, it's gonna be there.
Obviously she does feel a bit bad now because look at Ariana Grande now. She's the biggest star in the world. But it was really to protect me. Like no 14-year-old should be at every red carpet doing interviews, comparing herself to everyone. It is impossible not to. And if someone says it is, they're lying.
I'm so sorry. But it definitely did affect me and I will say like. There was a time I had a teacher say to me, and I was, 'cause I was, it wasn't that I wasn't paying attention in class, I was an incredibly good student. I was, I was allowed to miss [00:14:00] class one time for something. And it was to meet Justin Bieber.
Other than that, I was never allowed to miss school. I went to a public school. But he said like, Ava, get your head outta Hollywood. So that made me heartbroken 'cause I'm like. It honestly became an insecure, I'm like, wow. They know. I'm like obsessed with what I do. But yeah, I'm sorry. Went on a bit of a tangent here, but definitely had an effect on my mental health and I think I tried to suppress that and hide it.
I think the biggest way it had an effect on my mental health is again, all of my peers. Not all, but a lot of them almost thought it was like silly. Like, this girl is 14, 15, 16, 17. Like, why is she so obsessed with Disney Channel and Nickelodeon? But then there were a few that felt like, oh my gosh, that's so cool.
I used to love them three years ago. And then once I quote, unquote caught up with my age group and would interview more like reality stars or [00:15:00] like stars that they were currently watching, they thought it was. Cooler. And I think what was most helpful is I was eventually able to reframe it as not it necessarily mattering who I interviewed, like for quote unquote bragging purposes, but more like the, the perseverance I had.
Right? So, okay, if I wanted to interview someone for three years and it took three years, like that's the accomplishment rather than. Who it is. So that really helped. I will say the other effect it had on my mental health was I used to get really down on myself when I was rejected for interviews and I saw other people with lower views or who would cheat lion steal to get that interview.
That really bothered me. I'm like. Because you can see people's YouTube channels. I'm like, but this person got a sit down with them. So like, what is so wrong with my channel? [00:16:00] And sometimes you never know, and sometimes you do know. And it's because they schmoozed them at a cocktail dinner. I am not that girl.
I will never be that girl. Also, a lot of times I was too young to do that. So like, I can't, I'm 19. I can't do that. And I had made a promise to myself once I interviewed one of the Sprouse brothers, I would like. Relax and be like, okay, we're gonna take a break and not put all this pressure on myself.
And I held true to that. I interviewed Dylan Press. Oh my gosh, that's December 3rd. December 5th, 2016, nine years ago. That's crazy. Wow. And it took 2019, 2016. It took five years to get there. And I was like, I need to stop. Putting so much pressure on myself and it was really hard to do that, but I did it.
And part of the reason I started my channel, a big part was to interview those [00:17:00] twins. 'cause that's where it all started, honestly. So yeah, that's how I overcame it. I stopped putting so much pressure on myself. I am, in hindsight, grateful to my parents for not, I guess, giving into the Hollywood fantasy.
And I had a really good, and still to this day, I have a really good support system of friends.
James Petrossi: Let's talk more about the support system. 'cause today's lesson is called In Their Shoes, and I'm sure as a reporter and interviewer, you're always trying to put yourself in the shoes of the people that you're talking to. But sometimes with social media, we lose sight of those valuable connections that are with us every day and the things that. They're going through. When you have found time to disconnect and relief yourself from like the stress and the worry about, you know, keeping up with your goals and getting these interviews, have you learned to lean on your [00:18:00] inner circle? Not just by asking them to give you support, by supporting them as well through empathy and active listening.
Eva: Yes. Well, I am so happy that I got day 21 because I learned from a very dear friend of mine, you know who you are. Love you. The term active listening, almost three years ago, it was on Thanksgiving or the day before Thanksgiving, three years ago. I have not looked back. My friendships and the way I talk to my friends has changed so much, and it is, it's a complex switch, but it's simple switch at the same time.
It is truly just a different way of asking questions and actively listening, honestly, way to state the obvious, but it's fascinating to me, right? Because I feel like. Your friends will notice that you're talking to them differently, but at the same time, it's like I've, once I make that switch, they will say things like, you're a really good listener.
And I'm like, yes, you, you understand. At the same time though, it does [00:19:00] take a different tone. You will sometimes kind of get like, why are you so serious? Like it's not that deep. And that can be a bit awkward. 'cause I think sometimes it does come across as like you being very concerned and it's like, no, I'm just trying to be there for you.
And then I think you did briefly touch on this in the book, but it's like, you know, they might kind of be like, yeah, like why are you so concerned? Like, it's not that. Deep and then there is that awkwardness and it's like, you know, I just, I really am there for you. But yeah, I would say for me, one of my favorites, way favorite ways to, you know, show my empathy, show my active listening, especially for, I guess quote unquote beginners voice memos.
Are you a voice memo guy?
James Petrossi: Occasionally, yeah.
Eva: I love it because it is essentially like a. Conversation and I know voice memos might, might be the last thing you [00:20:00] wanna hear as we're talking about disconnecting, but I think what I love about it is you can, one, play it back as many times as you want. Because for me, I don't always, in real time, it's hard for me to process.
Things right away. So if you can listen to a voice memo, especially when you're having an emotionally intimate conversation and you know, if you missed a part of it, you're like, I didn't get that. Play it back five times. And then if you need time to think about it before answering, because you might be having a rough day right then.
Get back to it a few hours later, and you have that time and you have that back and forth. Voice memos have been so helpful for me. Truly. I will say too though, I just, I really love having emotionally intimate conversations with all my friends and they have come up a good amount [00:21:00] for me as it relates to my work.
There was a time when. I was really going through it just within my within my workforce when I before I started my own influencer marketing agency almost two years ago. And it got to a point where I didn't really even have to say like, what happens? My friends, my really close circle just knew.
And that circle luckily includes people both in my line of work and not, and. We would just plan like really fun. I called them like hurricane picnics. It's a quote from Girl meets World. I don't know if you're familiar, the spinoff of Boy meets World. Such a good show. I love that show. And I think having that community and just being there.
To support me was really important. And I will never forget my mom had told me a while ago, like, you know, friends oftentimes tell you what you want to hear. And I, I, [00:22:00] I gently push back. I'm like, a lot of friends do, but like, luckily my friends tell me what I need to hear. And what I mean by that is like I'm very lucky to have friends at like.
Obviously if I'm in a very vulnerable place, they will sugarcoat things. But like, no, I have friends who tell me what I need to hear. If I have broccoli in my teeth, they're gonna tell me if my outfit doesn't match, they're gonna tell me. 'cause what's the good in saying? Like, yeah, you look great. That does no good for anyone.
And so that's been very helpful as well. Yeah. Does that answer your question? I feel like I'm going off on so many tangents.
James Petrossi: No, it does answer my question and you bring up some really good points that we're in a world where we're so used to. Shouting, and it might not be, shouting is loud, but letting our voice be heard, telling people what we have to say, and wanting everyone to obey that message, whether it's on social media or sometimes even in real life, but [00:23:00] is a little bit unnatural at first when we stop talking and start asking, and it takes a while sometimes for people to be able to peel back that next layer. But if you think about where you've gone from a few years ago, practicing active listening to now, it becoming sort of as in the fabric of how you communicate with friends. do have those deeper honest conversations with each other, and that's one of the beautiful things that. out of it.
Now. are people right now that are going through a 30 day just connection challenge, and they're about, you know, over a third of the way through, and others just looking for advice, like, how do I just become not so insane with my social media habits? What's your hope or encouragement for anyone struggling as a creator or as like a fan?
A scroller.
Eva: So I know you were discussing in your book that [00:24:00] some people truly like they do not have the option to disconnect from. Social media because it is their work. And a lot of times, like, let's be honest, some people that is quote unquote an excuse to some extent. However, I will say that, you know, I am one of those people I work out.
A lot on live bookings for people. So for example, I work with people from RuPaul's Drag Race. The new season of RuPaul's Drag Race just is, is coming out, but the promo just came out. So what I do is I need to see what clubs are booking girls in the next few weeks. So one way I do that is I go on stories to see.
What flyers are being posted on what clubs? One way I could do that is I could do it from a Finsta account, so that way I'm at least not, you know, seeing everything imploding from the 7,500 people I follow [00:25:00] because I am on follow limit. I. I don't know who to unfollow, you know? But another thing I have done for a few years now and it actually started from me not being able to stop checking dms 'cause I was so worried.
Full honesty, if a crush was seeing my messages, it was. Literally I was going crazy. I have my phone on do not disturb at basically all times. Does that mean I don't have it on the home screen to see if my text is going from zero to one? Not necessarily, but for the most part, I will only check my notifications truly like once an hour.
It's almost like the rule they teach you in school. At least I learned it in school, like 45 minutes studying on 15 minutes off. That goes across like all social media. That of course does not mean that if I'm like on a walk checking emails that I'm not, not on my email, you know, for an hour. It's more just for anything that's like a [00:26:00] distraction.
So texts Instagram, Twitter, anything that is like quote unquote. Not work related. I also, I will say I have a friend who truly, truly, truly utilize is the different focus modes. So, you know, after 5:00 PM it goes from work mode too. I think friends and family mode. I've heard that works great for people.
But I will say I did a project in college and I truly did follow it 'cause I, my morals are like very high and I'm a total rule follower. We had to do a media fast and it was no media for 48 hours. Wasn't hard. It was very hard. But there's also almost a sort of freedom that comes with it. And I was like.
There was no one could get ahold of me. I was a bit worried. I'm like, what if someone like really needs to get ahold of me? But then it reminded me like if something is that urgent, anyone that could possibly really need to [00:27:00] reach me, they can get ahold of my parents, they can get ahold of my friends. Heck, they could email my mom.
They could show up at my door. So there is a sense of comfort that comes with that. So I think that's my advice. And there's a term kind of in the industry that we use. We're not saving lives, we're truly not saving lives. The work we do to get campaigns live, the work we do to close a contract, it is not open heart surgery.
It's just not, and I think the pressure that it is. Comes from myself, comes from the brands, comes from the influencers. And I think if we all just remember that it takes a lot of that pressure off, you know, for the creators. I would say look, 'cause I do it too, I know we wanna always post at the optimal posting time to get the most views, to get the most engagement, to in turn get [00:28:00] the most money from a sponsor that can be reset the next day, the next month.
James Petrossi: Amazing. Yeah. I love your story and I love all of your insights, especially as you've gone through this trajectory and you bring up valid. Had points. There's nothing wrong with voice memos. There's nothing wrong with having your phone with you and leaving the feed means something different for all of us, it means finding that balance and making sure we set the boundaries that work for us, whether we're in the entertainment industry where a creator or we're just a regular Joe Schmo walking down the street with a device in his pocket.
So absolutely awesome. You've been such an inspiring guest and I really appreciate you so much.
Eva: This has been great. And again, like when I saw that I was gonna be kind of talking about active listening, I got so excited. 'cause I learned about it again like three years ago and it's, it's interesting and I think I, [00:29:00] it's gotten to a point where like if me and my friends who we do do that aren't having active listening conversations, I'm like.
Are we good? Why aren't we having emotionally intimate conversations? This is surface level. Are we like, what's going on? So I'm like, I need to work on that. But other than that.
James Petrossi: Well, thanks again. You've been such a phenomenal guest, and for those listening, please share. Leave the feed with a friend. Don't be afraid to disconnect and have an epic day. Thanks again, Eva.
Eva: Thanks James.