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Welcome to The Foster Friendly Podcast. We’re bringing foster care closer to home by sharing stories from the front lines. We're talking with former foster youth, foster parents and others who are finding unique and powerful ways to dramatically improve the experiences and outcomes for kids in foster care.
The Foster Friendly podcast is brought to you by America’s Kids Belong, a nonprofit that helps kids in foster care find belonging in both family and community.
Courtney (00:01.676)
Welcome to another episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast. My name is Courtney Williams, a host along with co-host Travis Vongsness. And today we have with us Elizabeth or Liz Sutherland. She is a former foster youth. So we love to have former foster youth on our podcast. We love to hear your voices. Other than that, she's also an author. She's authored No Ordinary Liz, a memoir about her foster care journey and the extraordinary story of No Ordinary Liz, which I've got right here. Great little children's book.
inspired by her story as well. She's also a speaker and an advocate and empowers others to embrace resilience, hope, and belonging through their unique life experiences. So welcome to the podcast, Liz. Yeah. So we were just chatting for a short recording that you live close to Tampa, Florida. What are you like to do there? What are some things you do for fun?
Elizabeth Sutherland (00:43.466)
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
Elizabeth Sutherland (00:56.058)
gosh, there's so much to do, like a lot of fun places to go eat, to go, I love going to the stress center. I love plays. Just starting getting into walking. So there's some beautiful nature places to go walking. So there's a lot that you can do here. That's fair.
Travis (01:01.457)
Hmm.
Travis (01:17.51)
Yeah.
Courtney (01:19.094)
Yeah, awesome.
Travis (01:20.473)
Yeah, I can attest to that because our family spent some vacation I think was last year and st. Petersburg isn't that right around there too and stuff and it's just like you guys have an awesome place. So like you were saying earlier, you're a destination place that you live. So we're all jealous.
Elizabeth Sutherland (01:35.582)
Yes, yes. It's always sunny here. feel like beautiful sun, sun rays. Yes.
Courtney (01:38.37)
fun
Travis (01:42.362)
I believe that.
Yes, I believe that. Well, great to have you on Liz. And so we're going to learn more about you and some of your work and writing. Before we get more into that, share with us a bit of your journey into foster care and what those first years were like for you.
Courtney (01:47.724)
Well, this is Avion Liz, and so we're going to learn more about you and your work at writing. Before we get more into that, share with us bit of your journey into foster care and what those...
Elizabeth Sutherland (02:04.99)
Yes. So, I was born in Spain, came to the States when I was about five, by a man who I thought was my father and dropped my siblings and I off in a small town in North Carolina. so I always say near Asheville, cause a lot of people know that area. and then he disappeared. And so from the time that I was five to 13, we lived with this woman who was, not so nice, abusive.
just the home setting was not very welcoming. And so that led to 13 entering foster care and then being split up from my siblings, which was kind of tough. I looked back and I'm like, had I known what I'd know now, would I still cry for help? But I certainly would have because nobody deserves to be in that kind of environment.
So yeah, so that was my cry for help.
Travis (03:09.255)
Good for you for making that cry.
Courtney (03:11.063)
Yeah. So you were 13 when you entered care and then aged out. Were you at 18 or did you stay in past 18?
Elizabeth Sutherland (03:19.796)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
No, I aged out on my 18th birthday. So it was kind of like the way my, it was like in June and I think the next day I was on my own. So I was like, gosh, here's reality. And here I am trying to figure out what it looks like. So, yeah.
Courtney (03:32.782)
Hmm.
Courtney (03:41.005)
Yeah. So assuming most people are listening to us, no, we use that term a lot, aging out. But like, just what is aging out and how can people make a difference for those that are facing that reality?
Elizabeth Sutherland (03:50.14)
Yes, ageing out is when obviously you turn 18, you're legal adult, and you are on your own, so to speak. So for me, my story or situation was I don't have a mom and a dad, so I couldn't be, they couldn't terminate their rights, so I was not eligible for adoption. So the only option for me was to age out and be on my own. So.
What I do encourage people is I've learned quickly that you just need to wrap your arms around these young adults. I know for me, I leaned heavily on strangers throughout my early years of being 18 and older. And what I mean by that is I would ask my neighbor if she could help me fill out my deposit slip to deposit a check. I know it feels
so obsolete now, but at the time I really needed that support. Another example was, you know, didn't have nobody to help me credit. I didn't have, you know, any money. And I would lean in to my hairdresser to say, hey, would you be my co-signer so that I could get a car? And I mean, you just kind of take a leap of faith. And sometimes they're like, yes, or sometimes they're like, no. But in my situation, this young woman,
did help me to be able to get a car. So I wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't have the support.
Travis (05:25.063)
That's really heartbreaking to hear that, you know, just of like, and how many of that is people's stories of where, um, you know, for you to have to go through all of that and then not have the support and then on your own have to just stand up for yourself and, and, and me kudos to you for doing that. It sounds like that kind of formed part of who you are and your strength to be able to kind of rise up and stuff like that. But yeah, it's just, and I think that's where there's such a gap that we're really motivated to fill that gap of those that can be mentors and.
Courtney (05:38.466)
Yeah.
Travis (05:55.299)
and wrap around the kids that do age out.
Elizabeth Sutherland (05:58.762)
Yes. I, um, gosh, probably 14, 15, because I go through life. Uh, it's just me and I got to be on the lookout for me, myself, and I. so luckily when I knew that I was going to be aging out, I started working. started saving money because I didn't want to be homeless. That just terrified me so much. I'm like, what do I need to do that? I don't become homeless. And so.
I just started working hard, saving money so that I would be able to have an apartment when I did turn 18.
Courtney (06:31.082)
So, I was going to ask you, with that said, what you think, and what kids you think, they interested in our nation and our religion in real world, and all its scariness?
Travis (06:37.351)
So I was going to ask you with that said, so you set up sort of what you faced and what kids do face as they enter that sort of loss of support and connection and are unleashed in the real world and all its scariness. it sounds like some of your motivation was just survival of just, you know, I don't want to face these outcomes. What other things sort of kind of did you have to lean into?
Courtney (06:55.758)
It sounds like some of your motivation was just survival. What other things sort of did you have to internalize your ability to get of there? Like strength you didn't know you had, and was it motivated a lot of you by fear of what's going to happen, or what did you kind of have to find there? Yeah, quoting is a great word.
Travis (07:06.019)
internally for yourself to do that? You know, was there a strength you didn't know you had? mean, was it motivated a lot of it by fear of what's going to happen or what, where did you kind of have to find your, I guess, strength? Yeah. Yeah. Footing's a great word. Yeah.
Elizabeth Sutherland (07:19.434)
Like my building strength, yeah. So I guess there's a couple of things. I believed, I mean, I still believe faith. I had to hold onto something, you know, because not knowing anyone, trying to figure out how to navigate was pretty scary in itself. But I also was just trying to think what is one thing that society could not take from me? Cause I was so used to like.
Courtney (07:40.847)
was just trying to think what is one thing that I can find that I not think of. Because I was so used to like seeing my name on a case call, another number, and I just felt like nobody was there to support me. So I leaned the answer, looked around, and I was like, that's just education. It's going to help me in the long run. So yes, I graduated from high school, and I went to a local community college, and then...
Elizabeth Sutherland (07:46.762)
seeing my name on a case file, just another number. Like I just felt like nobody was there to support me. And so I leaned in heavily around education. Cause I was like, if I stick to education, it's going to help me in the long run. And so yes, I graduated high school. Then I went to a local community college. And then when I discovered what a four year university was, I looked at it differently than most. So I looked at it as, oh my gosh, I have a roof over my head.
have food, you know, for at least four years. I mean, that was my logic. And so I just kind of leaned into, am my own person. I get to make my own choices. You know, before 18, the choice is normally not yours. And so you don't have a lot of control what happens. But then after you're an adult, you're like, okay, is this the life that I want? And you just kind of
Go full force, that's what I did. I was like, no, this is not the way. So you kind of make the life that you want.
Courtney (08:52.491)
Did you have any examples of people like any foster parents or anybody that that
you you aged out, but that you saw as like, okay, I could aim for that someday or who were kind of the people or examples, maybe it was some TV that you're like, that that's what I want.
Elizabeth Sutherland (09:08.434)
It's hard to say because I didn't have, I think moving from home to home. So in between 13 and 18, I had been in between 10 to 12 different homes. know, foster homes, therapeutic homes, group homes, respite, all the homes in two to three different schools. So it was just very hard for me to find that stability and that connection. I just really, and then TV really didn't have a lot of TV watching in between all of those. So I think it was just.
what do I want? Like I can't look back and think about that special teacher that made an impact in my life. And unfortunately that's sad because I wish I had someone to look up to, but I think it was just, I kind of carved out what I wanted, you know, like what was obtainable for me? Kind of went that route. And I will say working at Walmart, so I don't know if you read my memoir, but like Walmart played a big part of my life early on.
Courtney (09:40.45)
Thank
Courtney (09:57.187)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Elizabeth Sutherland (10:08.802)
and yeah, so Walmart, I started Walmart probably in early twenties and I never wanted to go home to my empty apartment. Like it was like something about being alone just kind of didn't sit right with me. And so when I started working at Walmart, I longed to have family. And so I started looking for family.
Travis (10:09.35)
wow.
Elizabeth Sutherland (10:36.88)
and the associates that were working there. So the door greeter, his name was George, I'll never forget him. He was just so friendly and welcoming and he was kind of like that grandfather figure. And he would always give me advice in the break room. And so I just kind of cling to that. Then in fabrics, I remember there was this beautiful woman named Charlotte. She had white hair and she just kind of gave me that grandmother sense, you know, so.
Travis (10:47.879)
All right, sure.
Elizabeth Sutherland (11:06.056)
I started finding family in Walmhart. And so I got to the point where I never wanted to go home. I was asking to work people shifts because I was just connected there. Right. And so even when I was in college at Western, what I found hard too is you're on holidays when people would go to their families. didn't have anywhere to go. And so
this particular Walmart was like, you know what, we'll build you in our schedule so that you can come and work. So I wouldn't be alone. And so that store has a special place in my heart and always so.
Travis (11:45.191)
That's so cool. That is a cool story.
Courtney (11:47.223)
It is. And it just shows, like, people that are listening, you can make an impact on somebody's life, whether you're a coworker, whether you're a teacher. I mean, we all can do something. Like, find those people who need us to be their family. And yeah, I love that. It's beautiful.
Elizabeth Sutherland (11:47.466)
Thank you.
Elizabeth Sutherland (12:00.606)
Yes. Yes, thank you.
Travis (12:03.803)
You might be in the sewing department of Walmart.
Courtney (12:06.134)
Yeah.
Elizabeth Sutherland (12:07.042)
I I just never know. I know there was another story at Walmart. There was this particular day I was asked to go to the front, work at the customer service. And I had never seen this lady before. We've never crossed paths and I happened to be up there and I was going through some things like personally, I was good. had given up my apartment. So I was kind of at this point.
couch surfing. So was sleeping on friends couches trying to figure out what was next for me. And so one of the associates I was really good friends with, I was talking to her and this lady overheard me sharing my story and I was crying because I was like, I don't know what to do. But when I hung up, she's like, I'm sorry, I don't mean to eavesdrop, but she's like, I heard that you don't have anywhere to go. And she said, I have a fully furnished apartment in my basement.
that I would love to just let you come in today for a couple of weeks to kind of help you get on your feet. Well, I'm like, that's too good to be true. I don't know you, I don't know you. And she's like, I know this sounds crazy, but we're happy to like, I'll have my husband meet you. So we met at a local ice cream shop down the road and two weeks turned into several years. I still stay in touch with them today. They will always have a special place in my heart for just taking.
that leap of faith and just kind of be in there for me. And again, complete strangers, you know, so yeah.
Travis (13:39.911)
Very cool.
Courtney (13:40.927)
Yeah, yeah, it is really hard to think of.
many people in your situation that age out, it breaks my heart when I think about kids, you know, not having a place to go at Christmas, adults, young adults not having a place to go and feeling so alone and, and the traps that they can fall into if they don't find some help with some support and some ways out. Otherwise, you know, the incarceration and pregnancies, the things that, you know, might just pull them down rather than help them up.
Travis (13:51.591)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Travis (14:04.177)
Mm-hmm.
Elizabeth Sutherland (14:08.158)
Yeah, I mean, I wasn't perfect. I think at 18, you know, when friends are your so-called friends, you just kind of gravitate to just anyone that's there to support you. And of course I dabbled into drugs and alcohol and I ended up in the hospital. And when I looked around the room, these so-called friends of mine was not there. And it just, at that point I realized, you know what? Like, this is not for me. These are not my friends. And I just needed to get
Travis (14:08.369)
Yeah.
Travis (14:23.004)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (14:29.701)
Yeah.
Elizabeth Sutherland (14:36.86)
away from that situation. And so that's kind of how I got away was like, I mean, again, it all comes back to looking out for me, myself and I, because if I don't do it, who's going to, you know, so.
Travis (14:48.475)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, unfortunately, that was the message that you really had to do to survive.
Courtney (14:50.574)
and
Elizabeth Sutherland (14:57.533)
But I will say college was the best years of my life. I walked away with two degrees and I also walked away with something else. So, know, way back when when I was saying I went into foster care and then we were split up with my siblings, or I was, and my junior year, I was just hanging out with my college roommates. We went clubbing about an hour away from campus. And about this time,
It had been several years since the last time I'd seen my brother or sister, so I had no idea where they were. So I was at this club one particular night and I happened to look across the room and who do think I spotted?
Travis (15:41.191)
That's true. No way.
Courtney (15:42.215)
Your sister.
Elizabeth Sutherland (15:43.59)
sister. Yeah, it had been eight years since the last time I'd seen her. So I get asked a lot like how do you know that was your sister but you just don't forget a face. I don't know it just seemed like the world stopped and there she was and I needed to find her at that moment. And what was pretty cool was that we were going to the same school and didn't even know it. So I think about how I mean I never ran into her.
You know, and of all the schools that I looked at, while there, you know, so it was, was just a pretty cool experience.
Courtney (16:20.381)
Wow. What's life like for the two of you today?
Elizabeth Sutherland (16:24.03)
So we are super close. So that's why I am in Florida because I, when I found her, was like, I don't want to lose you again. So I ended up following her cause I was in North Carolina and she moved. And so I'm like, I'm following you. So the relationship is amazing today. I wouldn't be where I'm at without her. So we lean on each other for support. That's for sure. And then I always like to share the story about my brother.
Travis (16:32.923)
Yeah.
Travis (16:48.029)
Man. So.
Courtney (16:50.254)
That's beautiful.
Elizabeth Sutherland (16:55.274)
I, after college, I ended up getting accepted to this internship in Washington, DC. And as foster youth, I always thought, man, this was not obtainable for us, right? Like we didn't, we wouldn't get these kinds of opportunities. And so I was tapped with this organization in Virginia that helped foster kids with these opportunities. So I took liberty to participate. I filled out this essay.
And lo and behold, I got this amazing internship working with Siemens Corporation in Washington. And it was so awesome. It was six weeks. it helped me with like business. I didn't have dress clothes, like professional clothing. So I had to have people help me with that. But a week before I was supposed to end my internship, I was invited to the Kennedy Center.
and it was just an extravagant event. I remember it was a big event for senators and congressmen. and there was a lot of media and I was invited and the conversations that were happening was if you could change one thing in your States, what would it be? And so a lot of people were talking about. state Medicaid, know, state taxes, Medicaid, Medicare. and I don't know for whatever reason they call my name. And so I was like,
Courtney (17:58.671)
and there was a lot of media and I was invited and the conversations that were happening were happening at state level. So a lot of people were coming out on it. State Medicaid, know, state taxes, Medicare, and I don't know for whatever reason, they called my name. I was like, oh my gosh, they called all these people. So I walked up and I like,
Elizabeth Sutherland (18:19.626)
What am I going to say in front of all these people? So I walk up and all I could think about was my brother. And so it had been 13 years since the last time I'd seen him. And so I just said, if I could change one thing in foster care is to keep siblings together when they enter foster care, because I'm still looking for my brother who I hadn't seen in 13 years. So try to do that without crying.
Travis (18:39.035)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (18:47.483)
Yeah, right.
Elizabeth Sutherland (18:47.674)
I think they were not expecting it. And so there was a big national reporter that came up to me and was like, my goodness, I need to know more about your story. And so I kind of shared what I knew then. And so by the time I got home a week later, the local reporter for the Ashford Citizen Times was at my front door and I ended up sharing my story. It covered the whole front page and the whole middle page of this.
newspaper and it went global. And within two weeks I get a phone call and it's the Florida locator. And they're like, we found your brother. He's in New York. And so my sister and I, were on a plane the next day. And when we got to JFK, we were met with New York times. was pretty incredible. And we went up the escalators and there he was like seeing him 13 later and just like he's all grown up and
Courtney (19:38.775)
Wow.
Travis (19:43.31)
Cheers.
Elizabeth Sutherland (19:45.044)
You know, like all these things that happen, like, okay, I'll see you, you know, like, I don't know how she can explain it. You know, like.
Travis (19:49.989)
Hahaha.
Travis (19:54.137)
Right. Yeah.
Elizabeth Sutherland (19:56.552)
It was just incredible.
Travis (19:59.879)
Gosh, well, just talking to you in this conversation, I mean, I feel like I'm listening to a story, reading a story, which is a great segue into what you've went on to do. And it seems like in the turning point in our story in this conversation is this, all of these last moments sound very redemptive. You know, as your story took so many hard turns and I know there was, I'm sure hard turns up ahead after that, but it sounds like this was a turning point in some of the redemption side of it.
some questions. So we're going to talk more about your book. And what I want to ask you first before that is where did the writing, had you always been a writer? Was writing part of your healing journey or when did writing come in?
Elizabeth Sutherland (20:47.438)
No, writing came in probably years later. I was just doing events where I would just share my story, like motivational speaking, I would just connect with organizations and everybody kept saying, man, you should write a book. And I'm like, I'm not a writer, right? But it was very therapeutic because I got connected with the publisher. And for me, I need someone to keep me grounded and accountable because, people are like, yes, I'll write a book.
And then maybe they'll start and then they put it down and then it's two or three years it goes by before they actually complete it. So I'm like, I'm not doing it. I'm going to stay focused. So the editor would just kind of work with me and every Sunday she'd say, I need a chapter due. And so I'm like, okay, I can do that. So what I did for three months is I gave up every weekend and I went to local coffee shops and I just started writing.
And it was so, it was very therapeutic for me because you're having to put yourself out there, but it's also very rewarding because I can process all these different emotions and feelings. And it just was just compassion for me deep down. And so I didn't have any writing skills, but what's crazy is when you start writing words to start pouring out.
Travis (22:11.271)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Elizabeth Sutherland (22:13.32)
in your emotions and feelings. And before you know it, you have this beautiful manuscript and it's like, my gosh, this is my story. And so it was just really cool to also experience writing the book and then working on all the different aspects of it, right? Like the book cover, what's the title gonna be, you know, all the things. And so I loved it. It was just, it was just a big accomplishment.
Travis (22:20.231)
Ha
Travis (22:42.865)
That is a huge accomplishment.
Elizabeth Sutherland (22:44.434)
Okay. Yeah.
Courtney (22:44.575)
For sure. So your first book was No Ordinary Liz, right? And that's your memoir. Tell us just a little bit about like speaking after that, I'm assuming. Like what has that take? What journey has that taken you on? And what's come of you writing that memoir?
Elizabeth Sutherland (23:02.142)
Yes, so Routing Nowhere Near You, Liz, is just trying to journal my life story, but it's also not just a life story. I wrote it to help society, you know, like how to navigate these kids and also make it more educational because I think you'll find in the book ways to support. So maybe you don't want to be a foster parent or you don't want to adopt, but there's other ways to get involved.
I've put terminology in there because I feel like, you know, society doesn't know or understand certain lingoes. And so it's just trying to make this kind of a self help, right? And I just want someone to pick it up and just learn from it, learn something from it. But then also I really wrote it for young adults that are aging out and trying to figure out their own journey. Because I really wanted to inspire them to say, yes.
Travis (23:34.695)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Courtney (23:55.214)
Thank
Elizabeth Sutherland (23:58.538)
It is hard, it's going to be hard, but you know what? You can do it. And so just trying to help encourage them that they can and just kind of give them the tools that work for me so that they could help carve their own path, you know? so yeah, so I mean, I've used it to get out there and just share more of a success story. I also feel like there's not enough success stories out there around foster care.
Courtney (23:59.033)
you
Travis (24:02.727)
Yeah.
Travis (24:27.195)
Right. Yeah, for sure.
Elizabeth Sutherland (24:28.682)
And it seems like a lot of times the media just gravitates to negative stories and that unfortunately paints a story of foster care. so I'm like, no, yes, that's part of it, but there's also the good ones, you know, the good stories. and the other piece of it too, is labeling. I always labeled as a foster kid and I just, you know, label stick, stick with you for a long time.
Travis (24:33.617)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (24:43.739)
Yes.
Courtney (24:47.246)
The other piece of it too is labeling. I always label the stuff that's in the can. Labels are a lot of fun. And so I've just got people that are former self-reported, or even here, the holder. It's not who they are. It's part of their story.
Travis (24:54.587)
Hmm. Yep.
Elizabeth Sutherland (24:58.186)
And so I just want people that are former foster youth or youth in care to own it. You know, like it's not who they are. It's just part of their story, you know, so.
Travis (25:12.615)
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Well said. mean, I think I, I know I say this a lot of the podcast, but I know that to what you said, um, of where the narrative of foster care to your point is either, is largely just one of it's so much negativity and we get it, you know, there's a lot of complexity, heartbreak, the system is overburdened, all of that. Um, or it's just largely unknown. Like people have no idea what it is or anything about it. So I love what you're saying and what you're
Courtney (25:14.254)
Yeah, well said. I know I say this a lot in the content, I know that what you said, the narrative of bossing is largely just one of the so much negative. There's a lot of complexity, heartbreak, system of overburden, all that. Or it's just largely on them. People have no idea what they're talking about. So I love what you're saying.
Elizabeth Sutherland (25:39.466)
Good night.
Travis (25:42.491)
book and you know, kind of really your life is illuminating is the as much as you went through that was hard, you're kind of being this light to this place that your life even reflects the beauty of being poured into or or or being brave and courageous and you know, and looking for support and finding support in Walmart and you know, all that kind of stuff. So I love the positivity angle that you're, you know, kind of talking about with
Courtney (25:44.161)
really your life is a limitation. As much as you through the hard, your kind of being a life is a life that your life is more of what? The beauty of being poor and being poor or being brave and courageous and you know, looking for support and find support in Walmart and you know all that kind of stuff. I love the positive.
Elizabeth Sutherland (26:08.254)
Yeah. Thank you. I have to hold on to positive things, you know, cause that can easily go down a rabbit hole. But for me, I choose to be positive every day I wake up and I'm like today I'm going to do whatever it takes to be positive. But I also choose to surround myself with people who bring me sunshine. I think that helps me also to like just, you know, last two, and I don't like to say last two short cause life is what you make it, but
I can sit and dwell in the past. I don't stay there long, I just want to focus on what's next for me in my future. that gives me the drive to keep going.
Courtney (26:53.566)
. Well, you've already said this a little bit. What else would you say to advice the kids that you are approaching the age of 18, that they're over the age of 18? What's more important for you to
Travis (26:57.575)
Well, you've already said this a little bit in kind of recently in this conversation, but what else would you say to the advice to kids that who are approaching that aging out age of 18 or maybe a little bit above, depending where your state is, but what's more advice or things you'd like to leave as far as a message to those youth, young adults?
Elizabeth Sutherland (27:18.378)
I encourage to not lose sight of who you are. You know, be your true authentic self because that doesn't change. know, what happens around you and your surroundings, that's gonna change. But if you stay who you are through all of it, you're gonna come out on top. Like I feel like for me, I know my self value and my worth, because it can be easily lost in all of this.
but I think it's just not lose sight of who you are, like who you're, who you're meant to be, you know? And I mean, I always encourage people to dream high because the sky literally is the limit and you can do whatever you put your mind to. I mean, it may be hard to get there, but if you lean into your community and support, it's, it's easily obtainable.
Courtney (28:16.529)
So then you released a children's book as well. That's kind of, I mean, it has tells your story, but it's a children's book called The Extraordinary Story of No Ordinary Liz. I have the book. I really, really, really enjoyed the book because it shares your feelings. I think it shares feelings really well to
be able to read it to even a foster youth who's in a foster kiddo who's in my care to be able to sit down and it describes like what is foster care and then the feelings that they might have going through that. You give us like in your terms what's the synopsis of the book and really what are your hopes that come from this book as well.
Elizabeth Sutherland (28:52.648)
Yes, so I wrote the children's book late last year and it came about because I think I had just seen so many school shootings at the time and I was just like what is going on and when I was looking back and noticing that what was happening in their home life I noticed that they're coming from broken families or there's just a lot of disconnect. So for me I'm like what can I do? I feel like I need to do more.
And so that's where the birth of the extraordinary story of nowhere near Liz comes in because again, foster care, lot of people don't know about foster care. I mean, there's kids that are in your classrooms that are a foster kid. And it's like, how do we just treat people with kindness? And so I wrote this just to kind of tell the story of my journey. Like this was what it was like, and this is just one of thousands of stories, but this was my story.
Travis (29:35.525)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney (29:36.426)
I wrote this, this is not a film story. I'm hearing it. This is what it is like. I this is one of thousands of stories, but this is black story. I really want to give it a way that all it takes is to come to somebody, to come to a compassion.
Elizabeth Sutherland (29:50.858)
And I really want people to take away that all it's kindness is free, right? All it takes is to be kind to somebody, just have a little compassion. And for me, it was also to have the courage to be able to stand up and to do it, you know, to share my story. And little Liz is what I call her. She never lost sight of who she was throughout this, you know, and I wanted also to the story of what
Courtney (30:00.815)
And for me, it was also a sense of courage to be able to take that opportunity to it. To share my story. And little Lynn is one of my callers. She never lost out on a meeting like she always did. And I wanted to also read the story of...
Elizabeth Sutherland (30:20.476)
it's like to go into foster care. mean, I had my little trash bag, you know, like a lot of my stuff belonged in a trash bag. And so that was my journey was, you know, from home to home. This is, this was my identity. And so I was trying to embrace it and own it and just kind of share, you know, we all have stories, we all have battles worth fighting and you just never know who you're sitting next to or standing next to in the grocery store, you know.
Travis (30:33.553)
Yeah.
Travis (30:42.492)
Right.
Elizabeth Sutherland (30:47.326)
So it's just, again, just being kind, exercise kindness, because I wouldn't be where I'm at today, obviously, without kind people in my life.
Travis (30:58.467)
very true.
Courtney (30:59.849)
Yeah, I love how the story shares the journey of the friends at school and being afraid for them to find out that she's in foster care and just kind of that journey too because I think that's a very common thing with these youth and kids experiences. It's something they're experiencing.
Elizabeth Sutherland (31:07.69)
the
Courtney (31:16.15)
And but they don't want people to know or they're afraid that if people know they won't have friends or how they'll perceive them. So yeah, I just feel like it touched on a lot of the realities of these kids and these youth.
Elizabeth Sutherland (31:25.086)
Yes. Relationships. I totally forgot about relationships because I feel like relationships is my superpower. I mean, I feel like foster care is part of that because you just have to lean in on people, all types of people. so, yeah, just, relationships. And then the other piece that I am working on with this story of extraordinary story is I'm working on a little doll that will be a part of
the story as well. So it's going to be a little plush doll that'll kind of be kind of like an emotional support for kids. So I can't wait for that to come out. Yeah.
Travis (32:04.231)
That's awesome.
That's very cool.
Elizabeth Sutherland (32:10.335)
Yes.
Courtney (32:12.644)
Well, as we look to close this out, we always like to ask our guests to finish this sentence. So Liz, what do you say kids in foster care really need is?
Elizabeth Sutherland (32:25.17)
unconditional love.
Elizabeth Sutherland (32:31.003)
mean, unconditional love, stability, structure. I mean, just love on them. We all need to love on one another.
Travis (32:38.523)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Courtney (32:44.396)
And the unconditional is such a beautiful word, because when we think kids come into our homes, kids enter care, who just need people to love them no matter what. And no matter what their past was, and no matter their behaviors, they're displaying because of what they've gone through. And it's easy for foster parents to like, well, this is hard, and move to another home. And that's not what these kids need.
Elizabeth Sutherland (33:00.254)
Yes.
Elizabeth Sutherland (33:07.082)
No, and it's, you know what, I encourage foster parents, if they're listening, to just meet them where they're at. You know, because I mean, everybody's in all different stages of their life, but I feel like if you just meet them where they're at, you're gonna be able to work with them, right? And to start building that trust and that relationship. So, and then of course all that comes with the unconditional love and yeah.
Travis (33:13.617)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Travis (33:30.919)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I think that sometimes we can be too wordy on advice and different things or have it, you know, be flowery and stuff like that. I love how you just said, you, you you explained it more, but it was, um, unconditional love or your words and you kind of stopped pause. Like that's it. That is it. And that really explains and kind of illuminates the path forward is that, you know, loving these kids and, and in a way that I love what you just said of meets them where they're at, that is unconditional and has grace and compassion for them in what they're facing.
Elizabeth Sutherland (33:58.036)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney (34:00.057)
the grace of the costume or the look they're So, super fun. I really have been following and sharing this story. Yeah, taking some of the afters.
Travis (34:03.457)
and hopefully continues to grow in patience, you know, in that journey together. So, yeah. So, man, it's been super fun having you on. I really have been inspired just listening to you share your story and the way that you've, yeah, taken some of the ashes and made beauty out of that and then are continuing to point people to beauty and, you know, maybe God's work and the redemption of lives that have had hard things happen. So.
Elizabeth Sutherland (34:16.638)
Thank you.
Elizabeth Sutherland (34:29.65)
I always say I turn the beautiful mess into a beautiful message.
Travis (34:37.287)
That's a good line there.
Courtney (34:38.126)
That is good. Yeah. And I do encourage you, if you're a foster parent listening, I do encourage you to get that children's book, both your books, but the children's book, think, like I said, I own a lot of books. was a previous elementary school teacher, principal. I love children's books and I have a big stash of foster care ones.
I have a stash of the ones that I don't read to the kids and a stash that I would. And this is definitely one that I would say, yes, this would be a positive one and encouraging one for the kids to not feel, to feel that their feelings are okay and to be able to talk about those feelings and to walk through those things together. So highly would recommend it to foster parents and teachers, teachers do to read to their classrooms. So they would understand and be able to, their classmates, like you were talking about, to understand some of the kids that might be in their class or who might've been in their class in the past, or might be on a sports team with them and to have that compassion.
Elizabeth Sutherland (35:27.754)
Exactly. Well, thank you for saying that.
Courtney (35:30.359)
Yeah.
Travis (35:30.395)
Yeah. So we'll have the links like Courtney just said to those books. also have, you know, if you look at previous episodes, we had Kate Angelo on who was also in foster care and as a prolific fictional author. you know, like Courtney, you opened the podcast up. We'd love to feature voices of former foster youth alumni and really hearing from the front lines of your experiences and like you did today. And that's really, really powerful.
Go to America's Kids Belong, the website. You can find all the ways to engage. Be the support. Maybe it's your faith community. Maybe it's a business getting engaged. Maybe you're kicking the tires of thinking about what it would look like to foster. We've got FosterCon webinars, just such an array of information and resources to just kind of help get you pointed in the right direction.
Courtney (36:21.529)
So thanks for joining us today, Liz. Enjoy this conversation.
Elizabeth Sutherland (36:23.658)
Thank you for having me.