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Parenting is a must-win game. That's true for all of us, including some of the most accomplished coaches and leaders in athletics across the country.
Presented by Black Raven and Little U Productions, Championship Parenting is a weekly master class on parenting and leadership from some of the top coaches, administrators and executives across the landscape of American sports — each of whom have children of their own, and a wealth of relatable stories and insight to share.
Kolby Paxton (00:01.454)
All right. A warm welcome to Kansas State head baseball coach, Pete Hughes, who brings a wealth of baseball specific knowledge and expertise with more than three decades of experience as a head coach at some places, you know, Boston College, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma, and now obviously at K-State He also brings a wealth of parenting experience, having guided five children through adolescence and into adulthood, including two who enjoyed his company enough.
that they played for him in college too. So Coach Hughes, thank you so much for hopping on here with me today.
Pete Hughes (00:39.057)
Yeah, Kolby thanks for having me. It's an important topic. It's your life, you know. Everything outside of your family and raising your kids is supplementary, really. We all got one crack at it. You don't have a second chance to raise your kids, and you do the best you can. You teach them a skill set, and you release them out into the world and hope they make great decisions. But you never stop worrying, and you never stop parenting. That's for sure.
Kolby Paxton (01:09.486)
The last time I saw you on a baseball field, you were you were breaking the hearts of my wife and my mother, both of whom are Arkansas alums. But in spite of that, I got to tell you, and I mean this sincerely, I am so intrigued to have this conversation with you today. You are exactly who we want on this show. So so thank you again.
Pete Hughes (01:36.497)
welcome. I appreciate it.
Kolby Paxton (01:38.542)
For me, the hardest part about having a guy like you want to do like this is simply trying to narrow down the questions and the directions that I would love to go here. But let's start with what you told me prior to our conversation is the most important role that you play. And it's not the role of head coach, but your role as dad. Tell me about your family. Tell me about your children.
Pete Hughes (02:01.201)
You know, when we started off in this profession, my wife and I were going down the football road. I was a full -time Division I coach at 23 years old at Northeastern University football. I was also doing baseball because it was strong in my background, but then we knew that we wanted to have a big family.
And back in those days, football was super transient and guys were switching jobs left and right and baseball was a little more secure. And I also knew I wanted to be a head coach and set my own schedule. And that goes hand in hand with having a big family too to have that flexibility. So baseball was the avenue we choose for job security and to be a head coach and more conducive to raising a family. And we knew right from the start that we were gonna have a big family.
We had five kids. You know, people talk about, you know, salaries and power five resources and all the other stuff that comes with it. But the greatest value in our profession is raising a family in a college environment and raising them around a team. For me, raising them in a dugout, for me to have those kids with me every day after school on our practice field.
with our guys, hearing our message every day to those kids. So.
That was invaluable and that's what this profession has given my wife and I and what a luxury to raise a family in that environment. So you can talk about your money and your renegotiations and all this other stuff and throw it out the window. That's where we gained our wealth right there was bringing our kids up in a great college community like Kansas State.
Pete Hughes (03:56.433)
You know, we have five children. My oldest son Thomas is 27 years old. Played for me at Oklahoma, grad transferred to Kansas State for one year and was a captain for me. So voted captain by his peers in a brand new clubhouse, you know, and they only knew him for six months. So that should tell you what kind of kid he is. He's special kid and I couldn't wait to get him on my staff someday. And that's exactly what I did.
People talk about nepotism, right? I love nepotism because where else can you interview someone for 27 years before you hire them? Right? Number one. Number two, you know, he's going to be loyal. He's never going to stab you in the back. And number three, it makes my wife really, really happy. So nepotism is great in the Hughes family, especially when you have a talented kid like Thomas and he coaches third base for us. He's our point guy and recruiting. He coaches our infield.
Kolby Paxton (04:45.006)
Ha ha.
Pete Hughes (04:54.545)
It has a really bright future and I just hope he stays in purple because he's a major asset to our program. My son Hal is 25 years old, played at LSU, was the first freshman shortstop to start there in 45 years. He played three years there and then transferred and finished his career at Rice.
As parents, we couldn't be more excited that he has that LSU network and experience and that Rice academic degree and a pretty good skill set to go out and conquer the world. And he went against my advice and chose to get into the coaching profession. And he's on the staff at the University of New Orleans and loving every minute of it and has a bright future as well. My son Dominic just finished his playing career with me here at Kansas State.
And we'll start his coaching career at Tennessee Tech, paying his dues and entry level position with Coach Matt Braga, which we're excited that he'll be around a person of that integrity and baseball knowledge to start his career. My daughter Grace is 21. She's the most talented of all her brothers. She's a singer, songwriter, guitar player, coffee shop genre. She goes to the other school up the street.
And in Lawrence, Kansas, and she loves every minute of it. And she starts her senior year there and works in the radio station. And like I said, really busy with her music and her craft. My youngest son, PJ, will begin his first year at the University of Richmond to play baseball and get a phenomenal degree and be around a great coach with Mickey Aoki. But it's been just such a pleasure.
to be able to, at the end of the day, my career is not based on anything other than putting five kids through college wearing a baseball uniform. Pretty cool.
Kolby Paxton (06:58.446)
Very cool, very cool. Before we, there's a lot to unpack there and I wanna do a lot of that. But before we go any more forward, let's take a step back. Tell me about your own childhood and growing up in Brockton, Mass. It's a place known for boxing shoes and diversity and not necessarily in that order. Take it wherever you wanna go. But obviously I know you pointed to your parents as,
key influences in your life and the place that you're from as well. So I would just love to hear about it.
Pete Hughes (07:35.601)
Yeah, it's a, it is a blue collar working class city for sure. Rocky Marciano, you know, the nickname of the high school, the boxers cause marvelous Marvin Hagler. But when you're, when your city's hero is, is Rocky Marciano and he went 49 and and he's never lost the expectation levels and the standards pretty high.
It makes for a really competitive town, a real competitive fabric that that city is made up of, and you just grow up in it. And you know, the values that I learned in that household specifically, a Brockton household where you earn everything that comes your way. You don't complain. You put your head down. You figure it out. You work hard.
you're middle class, you're genuine, you're proud. Those are things that were instilled in me.
in that household in that city. And you know, you carry that with you the rest of your life. So that's how important it is. That message that we give every day in our household, because that's been my moral compass for the rest of my life. Growing up in that city, which I don't know, it's probably the first time you ever heard of that city's name, but it is my moral compass. And what a great city to grow up in. It was people value relationships and to this day.
I was just back there. I have lifelong relationships because every relationship in that city in my life didn't have an intention behind it. It was a relationship because relationships are important. And I've always carried that with me. And obviously, you know, you talk about championship parenting. I had two of the best, you know. My mother was a nurse. She ran a nursing home.
Pete Hughes (09:40.913)
Nursing homes are places where people are put because they can't be taken care of anymore for resources or people just can't do it. So they're looking for a place for relief and love. And that's why my mother brought every day with her job. And then she would come home and make dinner, do the laundry.
pay the bills, she got four guys who were helpless in that household waiting for her to come home every day. My dad was a proud high school teacher and impacted a lot of lives and lost my mother young. She was 53 years old, but her favorite number was 19. So wherever I've gone, I have this community service initiative and our program is called 19 Ways where
our team does 19 things in the community to help somebody of need or some organization of need. Our kids come up with it. It's voluntary. They take ownership, but a phenomenal way to represent my mother and the short life she lived and the values she represented and carry her name and her legacy along wherever I've gone, whatever program I've been in 19 ways has been established. So it was a great way to grow up.
You know, we didn't have everything in our town and everything, but we had the people and the relationships. And I sometimes I think we get away from that.
Kolby Paxton (11:05.326)
Yeah, I mean, I'm interested to know too, and I'm trying to do the quick math in my head here with the age of your children and where you were at at the time. So I'm going to guess we've got Blacksburg and Norman in terms of where your kids went to high school. Did I nail that?
Pete Hughes (11:21.041)
Yeah, so. Yeah, my my oldest went to high school in Blacksburg and then then we moved for his junior year and then my and then my second son entered his freshman year at Norman North. But our kids basically grew up in Blacksburg, you know? And they basically went to high school in Norman and had a phenomenal experience baseball wise at Norman North and.
Yeah, they had a great experience there. You know, I didn't have a great experience there, but it's not always about that. You know, our kids really flourished there. And I think not that it's the end all be all, but I don't think they become the skill set baseball players that they are that they became if if we didn't go through the Norman North in that baseball.
Kolby Paxton (11:57.646)
Right?
Kolby Paxton (12:14.638)
Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm biased. Anybody that knows me kind of knows my majority of my family is in Oklahoma, in the Oklahoma City area. Obviously, I spent some time at OU. I love Norman. But the reason for the question was I'm curious, how do you go about trying to instill some of the values and principles that you picked up by virtue of being in Brockton in the place and the time that you were there and you were growing up?
in your kids when they're in a completely different community, in a completely different period of time? How do you go about trying to transfer those sort of values and knowledge base?
Pete Hughes (12:56.657)
You know, it's an everyday message and it better be consistent. My wife and I have always been very consistent with our kids. Communication is at the forefront like it is in every relationship, but specifically with our kids.
And the only way that you can have a great line of communication is if you're a good listener as a parent. And if you're not listening and you're talking over these kids, you're not finding out who they are and how they're processing and what they're all about. And sometimes it's really hard to step back and just listen when, when you know you need to direct them somewhere else, but conversationally, you have to listen to what they're saying to you, especially in our household where, you know, look, I had
I had one kid go through four years of the same high school. So we transitioned all over the place. Our kids had to be resilient. And it's easy for me because it's baseball. See what I got in my new program. Let's flip the roster. Let's establish the culture. But you get kids in those high school and those peer groups and you throw them in and it's a little more challenging for a 14 to 16 year old, specifically a girl to get in those situations.
You better have your message solid and your value system solid. I just don't know how else to tell you how we did it, but it's just we communicate it every day and it's consistent. I recruited an unbelievable athlete when I was at Boston College and he was a Gatorade Player of the Year in football. He was Gatorade Player of the Year in baseball. And he was a phenomenal hockey player at the highest level in Massachusetts High School.
And on the home visit, I asked the dad, hey, how'd you do it? I got young kids in my household. How'd you do it? These kids have got a 4 .0 student. He looks you in the eye. Conversationally, it's impeccable. The respect and how he carries himself. He goes, every time he spoke to me, I listened. And that was it. So I filed that away. I think that's one of my strengths.
Pete Hughes (15:07.025)
is that I'm a good listener, even with my team, you know, because you've got 35 to 40 different personalities. You've got to coach every single one of them differently. And the only way to do that is to listen and to figure out.
who's standing in front of you and how you can best make them the best version of themselves and how they'll respond to you. And I do that with my five kids too, they're all different. Every single one of them are different and they need to be parented and spoke to and handled differently to get maximized, you know, their abilities, because they're all super talented kids.
Kolby Paxton (15:42.446)
New parent question for you at what point Should I start to pick up on the the personality differences between my son and my daughter is that? Just does that come innately I mean can you look back and kind of was it the same for all of them once I got to a certain age you could You can start to pinpoint some of that or how did that play out for you?
Pete Hughes (16:05.553)
You know, once they get the mind of their own, which happens quick, you know, you get four, five years old, and then you just start tallying up the amount of timeouts each kid is given. Right? So if your daughter is getting five a week and your son's getting two, there's a difference in their personalities. So we definitely, my third son, Dominic, is like the all time leader in timeouts in my household. Right. And no one's going to come close to that record.
Kolby Paxton (16:17.358)
Ha ha.
Kolby Paxton (16:24.43)
Sure.
Pete Hughes (16:34.705)
And my oldest son has never had a timeout, you know, so there's different personalities there and how they handle certain situations. But it is amazing though, and we have five of them. And all five of them are so different. They process different. They communicate differently. They react to adversity differently. Some of them are emotional. Some of them are super, you know, cerebral about it. But that's just how they're wired.
but they all have the one consistency of our household and what's right and what's wrong. And they know that they can come and talk to my wife and I about any topic. And to me, when my sons or my daughter come to me and talk to me about something really difficult, I know that we...
I know that we've answered the challenge of parenting because they come to us as a resource and they're not trying to circumvent us when life gets really difficult. And it gets difficult, you know, it's how old are your kids?
Kolby Paxton (17:36.43)
My son will be four in August. My daughter is a week and three days.
Pete Hughes (17:42.413)
my God, congratulations, man. Jeez, awesome. Yeah, it's fun. Those are the fun days, the funnest days, man. But the older they get, the problems get bigger. You go from dumping over your plate of tater tots in your sippy cup to real life problems in high school and in college. I'm just glad that they know.
Kolby Paxton (17:43.95)
Yeah, yeah, it's crazy time to be in my house, I can assure you.
Pete Hughes (18:10.993)
that I am the ear that they can come to and talk to about everything. And to me, that's, I've won as a parent. I might not always give them the right advice, but at least I am that resource of help, you know, and that's all you want. And you can't do that without an open line of communication and make them feel safe.
Kolby Paxton (18:31.182)
Yeah, that makes all the sense in the world. Real quick, I do want to make sure I point this out. Multisport athlete in high school, sure, but also in college. So for those that don't know, before Davidson College became better known as Steph Curry's college, the place belonged to you, sir. You were the quarterback and the third baseman. What was that experience like for you?
Pete Hughes (18:56.657)
It was a great learning experience. I'll tell you why. It's, if you took Brockton, Massachusetts and compared it to Davidson college, they, they're the two exact opposite places in the universe of clientele of, you know, other side of the Mason Dixieland. I never even knew that was a thing until I got to Davidson, you know? and then, and then I opened my mouth and people knew where I was from really quick.
Hey, I was always known as in my town as Peter P E T E R and that's all people talk in Massachusetts. But when people at Davidson College asked me my freshman year, what my name was, and I said, Peter Hughes, they say, say that again, say that again. That's funny. Ha ha. So I immediately went to Pete. So I would stop that conversation. So since that day, I've been Pete Hughes because of that reason, you know, but Hey,
I got out of my comfort zone of a city. I never left that city my whole life. And next thing I know, I go to college and I'm on a, I'm in a foreign land. I don't know anybody. It was the best thing I ever did. It made me more resilient. It made me in tune, to different personalities from different backgrounds and, and to get along and to, and to flourish in that environment. I went there to get a great degree.
and to play two sports and that was it. So whatever came my way, came my way outside of those three things. And I was just so happy that I lucked out that the first day of school, I met my wife. And then I, you know, that place was different. It made you get out of your comfort zone because you really stuck out being an athlete at a super academic place, especially with football, because we were not good. We were.
Three out of the four years I was there, we were the worst team in Division I football. It was one double A back then. And we went 0 for two years, 0 for 10 and 0 for 11. And I won four games in my career. Statistically, I'm probably the worst quarterback ever to play in Division I football. My sons will look that up and they'll agree with me.
Pete Hughes (21:22.769)
But it taught me a lot of lessons. It was difficult at the time because football is a hard sport. It's not fun to practice, especially double sessions back then when they were double sessions. And then those Tuesday, Wednesday practices. And at Davidson, you're going out there and you're wearing it every single practice, knowing that you're not gonna get paid off on Saturday. I mean, we're not gonna beat Appalachian State. We're not gonna beat Marshall. We're not gonna beat Furman.
It doesn't matter what happens. It's not like baseball where you can line out seven times and get beat by a lesser opponent. You're not going to beat someone that's physically and that's more talented than you guys in the sport of football. But nonetheless, it made you value the importance of preparation and working and not getting so goal -oriented or performance -oriented. It was about the preparation and the respect of the sport.
It helped me when I left that place to deal with adversity and just to be a little mentally tougher and understand big picture stuff because in real life, not everybody wants to go to work every day, but you have to get up and go to work because that's what you have to do. And sometimes it's not easy and it wasn't easy playing football at Davidson. But like I said, it built my foundation to handle a lot of things and to prepare differently.
I was just lucky to go to a great school and get a great degree and play two sports. And I met my wife and 10 of the best friends that could ever meet. The school was really, really good for me. And as you get older, in most cases, and you have perspective, you truly understand that. But yeah, it's good to get out of your comfort zone, I guess, is the moral of the story and be able to flourish in different atmospheres and different environments around different people.
That's what I got out of that.
Kolby Paxton (23:22.318)
Yep. Yep. That and if you move south from the Northeast, you should shorten your name if you can help it. We don't necessarily have to spend a lot of time here, but given your playing career, I would be remiss if I did not ask you, particularly given your place in the world of baseball, about what has felt like a push for specialization in a single sport at whatever the sport is, youth club, travel ball levels. Where do you land on that as a guy that, you know?
Pete Hughes (23:28.881)
Ha ha ha ha.
Kolby Paxton (23:51.886)
didn't do that, but a guy that coaches a sport that is kind of becoming known for it.
Pete Hughes (23:58.705)
Yeah, as a parent, I was not all about that. As a division one, I think I'm the only guy having to be a power five head coach at four different schools. That's either a good stat or a bad stat.
Pete Hughes (24:17.201)
But I always push my kids to play other sports. And then if I'm recruiting a kid, two kids that are equal in the sport of baseball, I'm taking the kid that plays football over the kid that just plays baseball in the fall. Because like I just said about that sport, it's hard, it teaches toughness, it's discipline, it makes you do stuff that's not comfortable at a high level. And that translates into wins on the baseball field. You don't get that in the fall baseball league. You get that on Friday nights.
I'm a huge multi -sport guy, and especially look at the pitchers these days. You know, those kids are throwing year round, they're breaking down before they get to you. You know, kids are getting Tommy John surgery at a younger, younger age because of overuse, because of specialization. You know, my take on it was...
We're not gonna start traveling until they're 13 years old. We're not gonna go all over the country and the region when these kids are nine or 10. Just not gonna do it. Partly because I don't think our family could have facilitated that with me recruiting and with five kids and my wife running around all over the place. Then when they get to be 13, we start traveling. If they wanna play basketball in the winter time.
They could play basketball in the winter time. Football, I grew up with football. I wasn't very good at it, but I loved the sport and it was part of me. But I would not let my kids play football until they went through puberty and got into high school. And then if they wanted to play in eighth or ninth grade, it would be totally up to them. But definitely not before their body starts changing because they could get in the wrong drill in the wrong
have a bad experience with it and then they'll never play it. So when they get older and their body changed, I think that's the time to play that sport. It's one of the few sports where it's not really a high rep developmental sport. Some of the best kids that played at my high school, they started playing in the ninth grade just because physically and athletically they were better than everybody. And they didn't need the high reps of seeing a thousand pitches and developing back to ball skills. Football is different. So I was comfortable with that.
Pete Hughes (26:38.065)
None of my sons, ironically, came to me and said, dad, I want to play football, which I love the sport, but I was not upset that they chose not to play the sport. but yeah, to answer your question, I, as a parent, as a division one coach, I'm all about the two, three sport guys. And, cause you can develop yourself in different areas, athletically and competitively by, by introducing yourself to other sports.
Kolby Paxton (27:06.99)
Yeah, I love that. Everywhere you've been, and I mean, I can certainly think of a guy or two during your time in Norman in particular, but for you really early in your career, BC, Virginia Tech, you've been in close proximity with some of the real, you know, people made a list of the great leaders in the history of college athletics. You've been, you know, all the way from
a handful of them. And I'm always interested to know how much knowledge sharing goes on. Can you just speak to some guys that have really emerged as mentors for you during your career and have influenced, whether it be your coaching style, your philosophy, whatever it is.
Pete Hughes (27:54.705)
Yeah, I mean, what a resource, you know, for a 30 year old to walk around Boston College and have some of the greatest coaches in the same building as you. And sometimes I hate with this, with the college athletics right now, we have this, this facilities battle where everyone has their own, every sport has their own facility. You know, we have a phenomenal facility here at Kansas State baseball facility, but
But it's just us. You know, at Boston College, we were all in the same building. I was drinking coffee in the morning with Jerry York, the winningest all -time hockey coach in Division I. I think he's won four national championships. He won a national championship in bowling green and hockey, right? That's how good a coach this guy is. And just to be able to watch him and how he goes about his business, Tom O 'Brien, he turned
Boston College is a football program right in front of my eyes and kept it at a super high level before he left for NC State. But the ultimate disciplinarian, a Naval Academy grad, you know, I watched his routine every single day. It never changed. At 1201, he would go out the side door, Conte Forum, and go for his 40 minute run no matter what, snow, rain.
so consistency, discipline, his kids, there was no such thing as a five yard penalty in Boston college football when coach O 'Brien was the head football coach there. And I'm glad that I was a 30 year old and I picked up on that stuff and I learned from it. I learned consistency and, and your message and your everyday routine. Jerry York, the biggest hockey tournament, the
The biggest hockey tournament in the country, as far as Boston people are concerned, is the Beanpot. That's when Boston College, Boston University, Harvard, and Northeastern play on the first two Mondays of February. And it doesn't matter about national championships. If you don't win a Beanpot, it is a big deal. Right? So Boston College were the favorites on a Monday night. The first Monday they go into
Pete Hughes (30:19.697)
triple overtime and they lose, they get upset. And that was the second game of the night in the Boston Garden. And that game ended at like three o 'clock in the morning. And the next Tuesday was our head coach's meeting, which is at nine o 'clock on Tuesdays. And Coach York just got beaten to bean pot at three o 'clock in the morning. And the young immature or coach who doesn't have
attention to detail and the little things in your department, he doesn't show up for that meeting. Well, they just got in at three. He was the first guy at that meeting and he beat me to that meeting. And I always, it resonated with me because you better be the same guy when you win. You better be the same guy when you lose. When there's a head coach's meeting and there's a department meeting, it's important. You're not more important than anything in that department.
and you show up because you're part of that department and that meeting's important. But it was also important for him to just show up. Even when that was the last thing he wanted to do, I promise you, was to get up and go to that meeting. But he did, but that resonated with me and I still talk to him to this day. And then I go to Virginia Tech and I'm in the same hallways as Coach Beamer. He taught me that the community that you
work for is as important as anything.
didn't matter who walked by him. If it was an assistant baseball coach, a janitor, a student athlete from another sport, he made you feel special. And that wasn't an act, that's who he was. That's why he had longevity. That's why he got the most out of his players. That's why he had a community that loved him and still do because of how he treated the community.
Pete Hughes (32:17.681)
My first year there, it was the year of the tragedy on our campus. It was really the first mass shooting. It was the biggest one in the country at the time. And the kind of world just stopped and everybody came to Blacksburg, every new syndication. It was crazy, but it was Coach Beamer and his wife baking brownies and just standing out in the commons and just handing them out to students just to put a smile on their face.
And then a couple of years later, our women's soccer team was going to the regionals and they had to get on a plane, a bus to get to the airport at five in the morning. And coach Beamer was the first guy at the bus again, handing him out lunch pills, you know, the lunch pill. That was the Virginia Tech football way lunch pill. And he had lunch pills and goody bags packed for him at five in the morning because it was important. Virginia Tech soccer, women's soccer won. He won.
And that's never left me wherever I've gone every stop along the way.
Kolby Paxton (33:23.694)
I want to transition that into the way that the guys who've played for you, the guys who've coached with you, talk about you and will talk about you in years to come. And in particular, the impact that you've had on your boys that have been around you as a coach, played for you as players. What has it been like for you? And I don't know the extent to what you were able to coach.
them when they were younger, but on, you know, Avi College, what was it like coaching your own children? What was kind of your approach to that? What do you hope that they took from that?
Pete Hughes (34:04.081)
Well, yeah, I never got in the way when they were, I didn't have time, you know, when they were playing youth baseball and I was on the road, you know, in the summertime for the most part. But, you know, we always did something. On Mondays during the season, we'd go down the elementary school and hit every single day.
They're at every single practice of mine. So for what I missed with their games in the summertime, I've gained with those guys growing up on my practice fields and being a part of my team and really being coached at a division one level and a division one manner since they were eight, nine years old.
So they've heard my message for a long time and it gives you, it makes you feel good when they wanna come play for you after hearing your message and how you go about your business and they see that firsthand and they wanna be a part of it. It could have went the other way, but those guys wanted to be coached by me. They wanted to be in my culture that they've seen for years and that made me feel good.
That's satisfying when your kids want to be around you, right? That's what it's all about. And we were able to do that a couple times with my son Hal. I knew where the OU train was going. I was either going to get fired or go somewhere else. So Hal goes, I want to play for you at OU. I said, I don't want you to do that. And he says, why? I said, let me give you the reality of major college athletics.
Here's where the train's going, man. I need to find, I'm gonna need to find a job. I can't try to find a job and find you another place to play at the same year. And it worked out phenomenal for him, right? And for me, right? It got me here. But just to have Thomas and Dominic in my dugout, it's like stealing years. And you know when Carter and Andy get older, it's a -
Pete Hughes (36:10.801)
the clock starts ticking and then when you can steal years, like have them in your dugout, it's selfish, I know, but it's also, it's important to have good baseball players, good human beings and guys that know how to play the game the right way and they can echo your message every day and that's what my guys did. But it was, they're both different. It's a different dynamic, I'll tell you that. I respect.
Thomas and Dominic a ton for being the coach's kid, because it's really, really hard to be a Division I baseball player. It's even harder when your dad's the coach and you throw that into the formula and the equation. It's just another component. And my oldest was, he navigated that smoothly and didn't really care about that other stuff. He was just, and but Dominic was a little bit different. My third son,
I think it was a little bit more of a challenge for him. I think he would get up at the plate and on top of trying to get a hit to have Kansas State win, he wanted to get a hit for his dad to get a win. And that's a lot of pressure that normal baseball players don't have. But it's just nothing like being on the dugout with your boys and winning and losing and playing games that are on the line.
There's nothing like it. We wouldn't trade it for the world. We've been blessed. That's for sure.
married the right lady who raises the family when we get uniforms on and she takes care of all the business behind the scenes and puts up with being the coach's wife and with everything that comes with that. It's not as easy or as glamorous as it sounds.
Kolby Paxton (38:01.422)
I want to ask you a selfish question, but anybody in my spot, I think it's going to resonate with them. From the perspective of a guy with a four year old who refuses to hit a ball off a tee at this point, we are. Insisting on live pitching and. Yeah, I'll tell you and.
I'll preface with the I'll preface by saying we're 15 minutes from Arlington. The Rangers are always on TV and Carter's favorite athlete on the planet right now is Adolis Garcia. So his goal is to hit a home run to the top of the staircase on every pitch. And there's part of me that loves it and recognizes the fact that he's four. So whatever. But there's another part of me that wonders like, should I be trying to keep him on the tee some more?
I feel ridiculous even Southerner's Guide to Hitting. So when did you really start to pay attention to developing your kids versus like just letting them take hacks?
Pete Hughes (39:07.313)
Well, I would get a big bucket of tennis balls or, or wiffle balls, even at that age of four, right? And just, even if you're going to get a barrel, that's a little wider. So they, they're going to be, I just said, don't be result oriented, but at four, you kind of need to be result oriented, right? And then you got to be skilled enough if he wants for you to throw it live to hit that barrel.
Kolby Paxton (39:29.646)
Yeah.
Pete Hughes (39:37.009)
Right? Gotta find the barrel, man. And that's all I did. I mean, I did this for years. And it changed my arm action, but I was throwing darts, hitting the barrel. And then if you can throw it a little bit in on him, he'll find the barrel. Right? So yeah, let him hit live pitching, but it's going to have to be underhand. Or get on your knee. Don't throw it standing up, because it looks like he's facing Randy Johnson every day.
Kolby Paxton (39:37.07)
I gotta find the barrel, I know.
Pete Hughes (40:06.897)
Right? So you got to get down to their level and just hit that barrel and do it a million times. What I did with my guys...
was with the glove. That's the last skill that come is fielding and he'll be close in two years. I would go out there with a glove in my hand with a tennis racket in our driveway and I would hit him ground balls. Now if they got hit, it didn't hurt right? Cause it was a tennis ball. So they eliminated the fear of catching a ground ball cause little kids don't want to get hit. And that's the biggest thing. My guys never had it cause they'll field in tennis balls.
And then when it transitioned to hard balls, it was seamless and all my kids could field. Now I have a tennis racket in my hand because they're not accurate when they throw it back to you. So if it's over my head, I can just tip it back with the tennis racket. It saves hours and hours of time of dad chasing balls. So tennis racket in your hand, glove in your hand, ground ball, ground ball. You'll catch it back. You tip it back to yourself. Hours and hours.
We call it street ball. We'd go out in our street and do it. But that's how they learned how to catch ground balls at a high level when they were five, six years old. So there's my tips.
Kolby Paxton (41:27.726)
Gold. Gold. All right, I'm gonna get you a couple more and I'll get you out of here.
Pete Hughes (41:32.337)
You're right.
Kolby Paxton (41:35.342)
Tell me, and we've talked around it during this conversation, but just to leave everybody with something, if you could capture your philosophy on leadership and how you go about building a team culture, I would love for you to do that here. Just kind of give us your thought process on building culture and leading a group, particularly given your background and
the diversity within it, both in where you grew up and where you went to college and everything we've already talked about. I just kind of want to sum it all up here.
Pete Hughes (42:13.315)
Well, I've always run my programs the same way and I treat the 40th player the same way as I treat the number one player. I communicate with every single one of them. I have relationships with every single one of them. And same is true with my staff.
But it does, it takes time to cultivate that respect or that trust that they have in you. And the only way you do that is to find quality, genuine time with each kid. So I'll meet with every single one of our players at the end of the fall to beginning of the spring at the end of the spring. And, and I'll meet with my staff as well. And everybody knows their role in my program. And there can be some back and forth on that, which is fine. Cause it's never confrontational because
It's an easy environment to talk to, just like with my kids. My players come in, they can talk to me about everything. I'm like, hey man, here's why you're not playing. Hey, this guy's in front of you. Here's how you can close the gap. Here's what got you where we are. How can you advance? All those things are on the table. And as long as everybody knows what their role is in our program and how they can change that and how they can improve, then it's healthy.
There's nothing that's ever said in our staff meetings about our players that aren't said directly to our players. So it's never an us versus them. Everybody's on the same page. Everyone's giving the same message. And yeah, that takes a little work, you know, because it takes a lot of meetings and talk and openness. But, you know, at the end of the day, we're baseball coaches. We have time to do that, especially it's the important stuff when you build culture and it's based on trust and relationships.
And no matter what it is healthy, the player that's on the bench wants to win as bad as the guy that's got the ball in his hand because he's part of something. And it's really tough because this generation gets more and more selfish and it's no one's fault. It's just where we're at. So I pay more attention to that, to develop a team first. We're all in it together. No one's against anyone.
Pete Hughes (44:31.665)
We want you to become the best baseball player in person that you can become under our watch. How can we help you do that? Here's where we have you. how can you improve? And it's a never ending stream of communication, open lines. I will get back to your parenting deal though. you can't play enough with a ball, right? It was breaking balls. Guys can't hit breaking balls. Everyone can hit 99 miles an hour at 98, 97, 96, right? But.
Kolby Paxton (44:56.526)
Yeah.
Pete Hughes (45:01.521)
It's the breaking ball changes bat path. You got to throw breaking balls at them. So digressed a little bit on you.
Kolby Paxton (45:08.622)
That's okay. Listen, I'll take all the tips I can get. You can digress an hour from now and I'm okay with that.
Pete Hughes (45:13.809)
But it's high reps, man. It's high reps. And I'm going to be the old guy right now. You can't have high reps if they're on that, that iPad. You can't have high. If Kobe take one thing out of this, please, the longer you can wait to give those kids a phone, dig your heels in. And, the worst thing we did was we were scrambling at Christmas time. We
We were like, hey, two days before Christmas, what do we get the kids? And they were young. And I caved in. And to make up for the lack of presents, I bought those guys an Xbox. So they went berserk. They stopped counting presents at that point because it was a no -no in our house. That was a mistake. It was a mistake. The longer you can wait with the video stuff or the access to the phone or the iPad, I'm telling you.
The kids that, my kids that didn't have access to that stuff are better communicators. Conversationally, they're better. Like my daughter never ever, and you know, artistically, her brain's just different, you know, because she's just not locked into the screen. And the, the, the longer you can hold, I mean, that, that is an old, old guy's observation, but is it is true. And
get them out in the yard, get them playing face to face conversations. You lose all that stuff with the amount of time these kids are buried in the phone and specifically those games. They think their social interaction is when they get the headphone on and they're playing Fortnite and talking to some kid across the country. That's not real life. It's important, I'm telling you. We dug our heels in as long as we could. If I had a chance to do it over again.
Kolby Paxton (46:58.03)
Yep.
Pete Hughes (47:08.209)
I would have never gotten that Xbox for Christmas.
Kolby Paxton (47:10.894)
I think they turned out all right anyway. No, look, I'm self -aware enough to realize that, you know, I'm fortunate. Carter, his disposition is that he wants to play. And predominantly, he wants to play baseball or he wants to play basketball on his little Fisher -Price goal, which, I mean, I successfully indoctrinated him to sports, I guess. You know, I didn't know what I was doing, but it seems to have worked out.
Pete Hughes (47:14.353)
Yeah.
Kolby Paxton (47:39.406)
The times when I turn a cartoon on the TV for him or whatever are the times when I'm tired and I'm just like, yeah, I just want him to focus on something other than me for a minute. And I'm self aware enough to realize that that is that's exactly what I'm doing. So for me, that's that's the my primary focus is don't don't be lazy and use the screen as a crutch. If the kid wants to play play, if he wants to
you know, whatever it is, like play because I know even though I'm in it, that it's not going to last forever. And again, I feel very fortunate to have a almost four year old that would rather, you know, take batting practice than be on the tablet. So I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think that's great advice for all the dads.
Pete Hughes (48:31.793)
You know, the one thing I would, I kept telling myself when I was your age with the kids that age, never say no. Hey dad, dad, you want to go out and play catch? You know, it's tough some days, but never say no. You know, we got beaten the ninth inning against Florida state at home. It's a Sunday afternoon, lost late, terrible loss. And then Thomas and Hal there.
They're nine and seven, hey, dad you wanna hit ground balls after the game. They get the buckets out, they got everything ready to go cuz I'm gonna hit them ground balls. Last thing I wanna do, but never say no and it was cathartic actually. And those guys don't know, they just wanna get better. It's not always about that. So I would never say no. And the other thing I always say to myself, to parents that can get overbearing and chasing a dream for their kid.
maybe chasing their dream through their kid for themselves is love the son you have, not the one you want.
I would tell my oldest brother that all the time during the youth hockey days. He would call me about youth hockey and...
his ability to score, skate fast, he's better than his kids. Hey man, just love the kid you have, not the one you want. Yeah, I wish my kids were faster, but they got my genes. I wish my kids could hit sliders better, or they had more arm strength. But at the end of the day, they love something, they're committed to something, and they're healthy. And that's all that matters. So parents can be the biggest detriment to kids in youth sports.
Pete Hughes (50:21.681)
I was lucky that I married the right lady who kept us all grounded and we stepped in the background and we watched every game from center field in our lawn chairs, every single game and made sure our kids respected their teammates, played hard and had a smile on their face and that was it.
Kolby Paxton (50:42.318)
That's that's the mic drop right there coach. I before I let you go, I do want to ask you. You mentioned 19 ways earlier in our conversation. Is there any way that people can learn more about 19 ways that they're looking to contribute their time and their resources to it?
Pete Hughes (50:57.841)
Yeah, it's right on our website, Kansas State Baseball. It's an integral part of our program. I appreciate you mentioning that. It's an important part of what we do and who we are. And you know, the crazy unexpected byproduct of that was all these people that knew nothing about Kansas State baseball or didn't support it in the past. When we've reached out to these groups in our community, they're showing up at all our games now because
They love our kids and what they stand for. So we've got a pretty substantial fan base from what we've done in the outreach program.
Kolby Paxton (51:34.19)
That's awesome. It's awesome. I love what you're doing. I love the influence that you have on your guys and kind of implementing that in their DNA and then obviously the impact that it has on the community. Kansas State Coach Pete Hughes, sir, I cannot thank you enough for joining us today. This was an awesome conversation. I feel like I could have done three hours with you. So I'll have to bother you again sometime down the road and get you on for some more wisdom because I got some things I can immediately start working on myself.
this afternoon. Never say no being one of them.
Pete Hughes (52:06.769)
Never say no, buddy. Get off the couch. Never say no. You're going to do great, Kolby. You're going to be a great dad. You already are. Great to be a part of it.
Kolby Paxton (52:14.03)
I appreciate you sir. Have an awesome day. Thank you so much.
Pete Hughes (52:18.705)
All right, man, good talking to you.