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THE podcast for navigating all things midlife with honesty, humor, and heart
Heidi (00:14)
Welcome to the Evolving Together podcast. I am your host, Heidi Sexton, and this is the podcast where we talk about all sorts of things happening in midlife with honesty, humor, and heart. And today's conversation is about being brave and not only to try new things, but also to be brave enough to look inward.
Which is what midlife really beckons us to do. it doesn't always just beckon. Sometimes it screams, Hey, pay attention. this is not what I want. This is not where I wanna be. something feels out of place. We notice physical, emotional and mental shifting. We
begin to feel sometimes that we're meant for something more or for something maybe completely different.
the only way to really clarify that is to get quiet, and to get brave enough to look and listen and take action. in this, we realize we already have permission to become and experience what our soul is craving and the direction that we're being led in. My guest today is the epitome of brave, which is why I can't wait to have a conversation with Kristy Halvorsen
and to be able to share it with all of you listeners. This could be a longer episode, because I have so many questions. So settle
Kristy Halvorsen (01:28)
Ha
Heidi (01:29)
in and get comfy. So welcome Kristy
Kristy Halvorsen (01:32)
thank you for having me. I'm so looking forward to this.
Heidi (01:35)
This is great. So for context, Kristy lives a very non traditional way of life and has since two thousand seventeen. you sold everything, you left your very established and esteemed career as a firefighter, And then you bought an Airstream and have traveled all over the United States and Canada. and that's your permanent home.
You're also a best selling author of a book called Perfectly Unfolding, which I just finished reading. It's amazing. We're gonna talk about that a little bit, but you're also a mentor and a coach.
I'm super excited.
Kristy Halvorsen (02:07)
Yeah. And thank you for
reading the book. Like that's really kind of you. yeah.
Heidi (02:11)
I loved it. I loved
it.
it is, a beautiful book. I mean everything about it.
my first question is, where are you right now?
Kristy Halvorsen (02:20)
I'm in New Hampshire. So it's fun because I'm in New Hampshire at this moment. I'm leaving early Thursday morning. So by this time next week, I'll be in Minnesota and shortly after that, North Dakota. So within about 10 days, I'll be in North Dakota. Yeah.
Heidi (02:34)
Wow. A amazing. So you've actually been
on the road for about nine years, I feel like you do a lot of the things that people talk about doing in theory, but you actually get out there you you did it. You're doing it. So you wrote a book while on the road,
but that didn't come until you'd been on the road for six years or around there. Okay.
Kristy Halvorsen (02:54)
Yeah, so that
the year the book happened between the sixth and seventh year. So it started in my sixth year and it ended, you know, I was seven years on the road by the time it finished. Yeah.
Heidi (03:04)
Gotcha. It's
funny story as I bought an Airstream a couple days before I got an email from you. Yes.
Kristy Halvorsen (03:11)
Really? Wow, look at that.
Heidi (03:13)
It was wild. So I got this Airstream to be my podcast studio. It's not done because you can see I'm not in
the Airstream right now. so when I told my husband, I said, Yeah, I I I heard from this woman who's an author and she's been living in her Airstream, he's like, Wait.
Is that because we got an Airstream? I saw I don't yes, no, maybe, I don't know. I just thought it was
Kristy Halvorsen (03:33)
Yeah.
Heidi (03:33)
the coincidence was kind of cool. then I got the book, I remember just looking at this beautiful cover. I I I have the book right here. This this beautiful cover get comes in the mail and I was like, it's just everything about it, the way it feels, it it looks good, it feels good, and I
I had to set it aside because I had so many other things going on. And when I finally opened it up and started reading, I was just so taken in by your your curiosity and your wonder and your vulnerability and the way that you put it all together. I I just I found myself wanting to lean more into life and and really trusting more of what I know in my heart.
And you talk about that a lot about following the tickles of your what do you what do you say? The tickles of your heart? The tickles of your soul, yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (04:22)
tickles of my soul. Yeah.
Heidi (04:26)
And I felt I felt that coming coming through in the book for sure.
usually a memoir, you read it, you put it down, you're done.
I'll just tell you that I have it tagged and marked up and everything and underlined because I loved so many of these quotes and revelations that you had. I thought I'm coming back to a lot of this because it really did awaken a necessary
Trust, I and curiosity that I think I'd kind of missed for a little bit. And so I thank you for writing it.
Kristy Halvorsen (04:57)
Well, thank you for reading and enjoying it.
Heidi (04:59)
So, you mentioned throughout the book about labels and you don't like
Kristy Halvorsen (05:04)
Yeah.
Heidi (05:05)
labels. I cannot stand them myself. I feel like they are dangerous and can really keep us stuck. what role did releasing labels play in in living a brave and curious life,
Kristy Halvorsen (05:14)
the book starts off with this scene where I'm on the floor wearing nothing but panties, crying, calling my mom, you know, asking for help because I was so, I was grieving so much for a relationship that ended and I didn't understand.
And she thankfully pointed out that, you know, losing your best friend and your life partner is hard. But what was really going on is I thought I had lost my dream. And then she said, you think you can't do it on your own?
And in a way that was, that was a huge label to let go of, know,
Heidi (05:54)
Mm.
Kristy Halvorsen (05:54)
someone that needed someone else in order to follow my dreams.
it was like the wake up call of a lifetime. And I just remember sitting there as soon as she said it, I was like, my gosh, I, I,
don't think I can do it on my own. this was something that he and I together were planning to do in about a year. And
Heidi (06:15)
Mm-hmm.
Kristy Halvorsen (06:15)
I literally got the phone and my mom was like, you've got the truck, you've got the trailer, they're sitting in your driveway. What are you doing? Like,
go. mom also probably thought it was going to be six months, a year down the road. She didn't realize either that I've got the phone and I was like, what am I doing? And within two months, I had sold my house, let go of everything I owned, just about anything that didn't fit in the truck and trailer and like, you know, resigned from my job. And so right in that moment, I think that is, that was the beginning of my journey into like, what other labels am I holding that just aren't true? And they're holding me back.
And so I had never really considered this until that moment. But to get back to your question, I just wanted to kind of illustrate like where it began. Like it's complete freedom because you think of all the things that we think of ourselves as,
And these are all labels, even, now I have this label as a nomad or, you know, adventurous person. And most people would think that's a really good label to have. But actually, like as best I can, I want to even let go of that because then it's like, I'm pigeonholed. I'm a nomad. Well, what
Heidi (07:24)
Right.
Kristy Halvorsen (07:25)
if what if I'm called to settle like
Like what would that feel like if I was called to grow roots in a place? Well, if I'm a nomad, that would be really scary. Or I think, who am I going to be? What are people going to say? Like, how am I going to talk about my life now that I'm not traveling? But if I'm just this
beautiful being having this experience as a human, then anything is possible at any time. And all the shoulds and all the beliefs and all the needs to's and all the things I think I can or can't do, like all that falls away. And I'm just left with this clean slate of possibility. So that's to me what letting go of labels and beliefs does for us. Yeah.
Heidi (08:07)
I love that. Yeah.
Yeah. I wish more people could do that.
Kristy Halvorsen (08:13)
Yeah.
Heidi (08:13)
it's almost like a our own little prison we put ourselves in. It's like, you can't do this because and then well what will people think if you do XYZ? And then it's like when really it doesn't matter what other people think,
And you've had several mishaps, physical injury and the hitch breaking down was your first big I guess could have been a roadblock.
all the things that you went through and all the things you had to fix on your own
on the fly.
and I'm like, my god, I would have given
up about like, two days in and and you didn't, which I think is a testament to your determination,
obviously you're very tough and resilient, but you also cry. And
Kristy Halvorsen (08:49)
Yeah.
Heidi (08:50)
that's not a common combination. of course, crying is like one of my favorite releases. I love it. It's a good one.
Kristy Halvorsen (08:58)
Yeah, it's freeing.
Heidi (09:00)
But there was something that you said, when you were in the R V park in Texas, when you were first starting out in 2017, you said that
you had to learn how to cry. Could
Kristy Halvorsen (09:10)
Yes.
Heidi (09:11)
you kinda speak more to that?
Kristy Halvorsen (09:12)
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, it's funny you mentioned the hitch because I was just speaking to the guy from Airstream that wants me to tell that hitch story at this big international Airstream rally, because it is a big deal. And not only because I cried, I was learning how to cry, but because so many good things came from that hitch breaking. Like I met this couple that just
happened to find me online and I was asking about how to fix this hitch and we became really close friends. I ended up staying in their at their house for a week and I didn't even know them. They invited me for lunch and I stayed a week and and
Heidi (09:52)
Wow. That's amazing.
Kristy Halvorsen (09:53)
and I'm sharing this because you know when that hitch broke I really was like see this is why I can't do this. How am I gonna what am I gonna do now? You know like I literally like had to
take it all apart in the parking lot. and I couldn't put it back together. It was broken. but before that, the night it broke, I was like, see, this is what I, this is what I meant. This is why I can't go on my own. And I, I said in the book, you know, like I cried a little pitiful little like whimpery cry. Like I wet my pillow with my tears, but I didn't rattle the walls. I was just boohooing like a whimper.
Heidi (10:32)
Yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (10:33)
And
in that time in Texas, I didn't know why, but I wandered out into the cold and then ended up meeting this woman and just started crying in front of her and she invited me inside. And, and that was another step. Like I cried a lot better, but you know, but
Heidi (10:49)
Ha ha
Kristy Halvorsen (10:50)
really, those six weeks in Texas were where I went from, I thought I was tough and tough people don't cry to realizing how
how freeing it is to cry and not even just cry, but feel all of our emotions. Because for most of my life, I didn't feel emotions and I thought that was the tough thing to do. But I've realized now that feeling the entire rainbow of emotions is a gift. And it's not only a gift for just the feeling of it, but it releases us to be free. Like we don't have pent up emotions or stress or, you know, we're not pushing anger and grief down and they're not
rearing their ugly heads at an inconvenient space. We're just letting it all out. And now, you know, like I went on this, you know, this crying journey and now I can cry beautiful love tears. can, I can just feel love so much that I just start crying. I can be so sad that I just break into tears. I can cry at a drop of a hat for so many things. And I think that's how we were meant to be. Like that's how we were supposed to live. We'd just been taught to live otherwise.
Heidi (11:53)
Right. I agree. I agree. And I it's it's interesting what you were saying that you you thought that not crying is what tough people do. And and
Kristy Halvorsen (12:01)
Yeah.
Heidi (12:02)
it's interesting that you felt that you had to be tough. You know,
Kristy Halvorsen (12:04)
Yeah.
Heidi (12:05)
like your your upbringing, I guess, and feeling like you had to put that shell around you and like I I can't cry. I'm a tough person and I grew up feeling like I had to be strong and tough, but I was also a crier.
Kristy Halvorsen (12:16)
Yeah.
Heidi (12:17)
But
as I've gotten older, I realize that all crying is not the same. Like you said, you, you know, whimpering, you wet the pillow and and then there's that real the wailing of just the like getting it all out. And I I feel like there's been a few times in my life where that has served me well. going through my divorce and then the loss of my sister in law. and I can get emotional now because it's just these were things that
that touched me so deeply that the only way to to move through that was through crying. so yeah, I love that you learned how to cry and that you talked about that in in the book. And yeah, it's great.
Kristy Halvorsen (12:59)
Yeah, it's such a gift and I'm not kidding
like there's some days where I cry multiple times and what's interesting is when I just let myself just cry
It's usually doesn't last that long, not on purpose. It's just because I'm holding nothing back. I go all in and it's incredible because sometimes it'll last less than a minute or just a handful of minutes. then it's just like, it's almost like you took a nice cold shower. It's just like, my gosh, like I'm a different human now, you know?
Heidi (13:26)
It's it's it's
great. It's a huge release. I just dropped my son off in Nashville and he officially has moved out now. Like this used to be his bedroom officially two weekends ago, moved out for the last time because he's now a big boy and he's got a real apartment. He's not at a dorm or anything like that. And and the realization was like, my god, he will never live with me again, barring anything, you know, drastic. I mean,
Kristy Halvorsen (13:51)
Yeah.
Heidi (13:51)
you know, you never say never, right? But
most likely he will not come back he has come back many times and through travels and things like that and I just cried my eyes out. I knew I was going to. I had my tissues there. I
had
Kristy Halvorsen (14:04)
Yeah.
Heidi (14:04)
you know, right in the truck. I had everything right there and I was ready. I wasn't even in the truck when I started to cry. But
Kristy Halvorsen (14:10)
Yeah.
Heidi (14:11)
and then, you know, then I it I got it out and and I was able to drive safely again.
Kristy Halvorsen (14:16)
Yeah.
Heidi (14:17)
what do you think
people who are capable of doing things like what you're doing, just don't do it. They don't take those chances. what do you think is the difference between say you saying I'm gonna do this and and make it work versus someone that just gives up?
Kristy Halvorsen (14:32)
Well, mean, is the question about starting or continuing? Because I think it's different.
Heidi (14:35)
Well
well, mm, let's talk about both. I think yeah, I
Kristy Halvorsen (14:38)
Okay.
Heidi (14:39)
mean the start yeah, let's talk about both.
Kristy Halvorsen (14:41)
Yeah, the starting, mean, you know, you don't have to live in an Airstream and wander around and live off grid in nature. Your heart, what I like to call tickles of our soul. those are guiding us all the time.
Every single one of us has that. Some people call it their inner knowing, others call it their intuition, the desires of their heart. It's got so many names. I just happen to like calling it the tickles of my soul, but that's there for all of us. But we've been taught not to follow it and to use our logical mind. So to me, when, when we get that nudge, most people say, that doesn't make sense.
for whatever reason, like me, before my mom slapped me in a really lovely way, I was saying, that doesn't make sense. I can't do this by myself, you know? So there's always something in the way. If you're not following those nudges, those tickles of your soul, then there's something in the way and that something is usually a belief and expectation of judgment or a label. It's something they're saying, no, I can't, or this isn't a sound decision because, and that's all made up.
And we can make up things until the cows come home. But why people don't is that why people can take that step if they knew that the tickles of the soul were the end all be all. Like that is that is a message from the universe. That is our guiding knowing. And thankfully, at a very young age, I did something that seemed crazy.
And I say, always say that was the best decision of my life. And that was when I was an engineer making way too much money for someone in their early twenties and hating the work. Like I was just like, what did I just spend all these years getting these degrees? Cause I don't want to do this. And I was a volunteer firefighter getting paid nothing to go, you know, do all that, all the stuff I loved. And so I was either 23 or 24 when I just jumped ship and everyone
everyone, everyone except for one uncle thought I was crazy because not only did it come with a massive pay cut, like you only need a high school diploma and I had a master's degree and I was never going to make the money that I would have. And then, then you have the status of, you know, playing with military aircraft engines versus, you know, being a firefighter, but nothing made sense. Even in my own mind, I'm like, this doesn't make sense, but I know. So I jumped ship.
And I said, forget it, I'm going to be a firefighter. And I went against what everybody thought and even what my own brain was saying was actually right thing to do. And it worked out so incredibly well that that taught me.
from the age of 23, 24, that I can listen to that, what I call at the time, my heart. I can listen to my heart and things will work out. In fact, it works out so much incredibly better when I listen to my heart. And so from my early twenties, people just was like, you're just a different person. You, you go through the world differently. But I think I go through the world the way we were meant to before society and, and, know, our culture got ahold of us and told us, you know, we were supposed to, you know, go to college.
and
find a husband or wife and have 2.3 kids and a dog and a cat and a house and a two car garage, you know, like, and,
Heidi (18:00)
Yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (18:00)
and if we're living that, then it's much easier to say, I can't follow in my heart. This makes no sense. the first thing to do is to flex that muscle to start, even start small. And when your soul is tickled to do something like you just like, I don't know why I'm going to, I'm going to take this one step.
and then see where that goes. And then before long, I feel like all of us will get to a point where we're like, wow, this actually does work out way better than I could have ever dreamed. And then it will just be second nature and we would all be living this way.
Heidi (18:32)
Yeah. I used to teach high school special education and and I have three kids of my own and I I've always encouraged them to really, you know, listen to your heart. What does your gut tell you? What is your you know, your intuition? I mean, we all have intuition. It's just I think we're not we're not raised to listen to it. society does likes to take that off the table. It's like, you you like you said, you gotta earn an income. You got you've got to do these things.
When the reality is if we just listened more to our intuition and our gut our gut is never wrong. You know, the spidey sense, the the tickles of the soul, you know, it's like they're never wrong. And I think that as I've gotten older I know into midlife, it's it's stronger. It's I it's always been there, but now I just trust it more. And I think
Kristy Halvorsen (19:18)
Yeah.
Heidi (19:18)
like you said, the more you trust it, the more you start to see how things do unfold.
in your favor and even the things you don't expect, you're able to then manage it. you do mention in your book a few times where you really like, you check in, what is my heart saying? Like what what do I need to know? And that seems to be very much like your your guiding light, sort of, I guess, so to speak.
Kristy Halvorsen (19:43)
Yeah, because I don't want to ever make a decision again, which I'm sure will happen because I'm human, but I want to ever make a decision because of what I'm going to get out of it or what I think it's going to bring in the future. Because
Heidi (19:54)
Mm-hmm.
Kristy Halvorsen (19:55)
that's not how the tickles of our soul work. know, the tickles of our soul are in the moment and they only tell you the very next step. Like that's it.
And you just have to trust that you take that one step and then you'll know what to do next. But to me,
Heidi (20:07)
Right.
Kristy Halvorsen (20:08)
if I'm listening to my brain, that's like, my gosh, imagine the money you could make if, and you fill in the blank. Well, that's not a tickle of my soul. You know, that's me doing something because I have an expectation and I don't want to live like that anymore. And a lot of people are like, yeah, but you say that you must be privileged because, you have to worry about money, but I can tell you this.
I worked really hard to, grow a business so that I could go on the road and, know, still feed myself. But I can tell you like even here's a good example. So my mom last year was, was really not well. And, I had this book that I was in the editing process and in the publishing process. And, and then I had some other commitments. And so I literally was like,
I just got to let my business go. I worked with the people I was working with, but I just couldn't keep up. And so as they all filtered out, like I went to zero and I just was like, you know what? I'll figure it out because I know what my priorities are now. And my soul was tickled. had like three, little boxes I had to put all my attention in and there was no room for my business. And, what's interesting,
I haven't said this publicly yet, but I really was hard up on cash and started living off savings. I'm glad I had that. But I had a knee injury from the fire department in 2015 and I was on workers' comp. And a few times they'd asked me to settle, but It was like for a tiny amount. And was like, no, thank you. this was 10 years in the making. My lawyer called last fall and said, Hey, the
you know, workers comp people just called they're offering you this crazy deal. Like, I think you should take it. And I'm like, where are they offering me? And I was like, holy shamoli. And I'm like, what do we got to do? Like, let's say yes. And he goes, great. Well, there's paperwork and you'll have a check in about a month. And then this check showed up, which was like more than a year's income, more than a
Heidi (22:08)
It's amazing.
Kristy Halvorsen (22:08)
year's income in the year that I said my mom and these couple other buckets are way more important. I'm going to let my business go.
And then I was given income for almost two years.
Heidi (22:18)
Mm.
Kristy Halvorsen (22:19)
So it's like that happened. I'm just like, of course it all works out. And of course I could have struggled and I could have gone against my inner knowing and I could have said, you know what, mom, I'm going to do my best I can, but I just can't do this right now. But then I think I would have regretted that the rest of my life. And actually it unfolded perfectly. Do you see what I'm saying? Like
Heidi (22:37)
Yeah. Yeah. yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (22:40)
we can't even imagine what could possibly happen.
And that wasn't even on the radar, but I was fine. You know, I actually have more in savings now than I had before the year that I let my business go, you know?
Heidi (22:51)
Yeah. And I I think that's such an interesting point because it's like we're we're always safe. We're always okay. It's just trusting that. was it about a year that you were with your mom at at the end of her life?
Kristy Halvorsen (23:01)
Yes.
Heidi (23:02)
your relationship with your mom, I mean, it's woven throughout your book. And that is that is one of the love stories that you that you share about. And so she passed away just before the book was released,
I'm sure she was so proud of you for for doing it but you had to make that decision to step away from your business that you built to stop being that nomad, to stay at home with her for a while
I know you said you felt like you could only put so much in certain boxes and you only had so much bandwidth really to to give. So
Kristy Halvorsen (23:33)
Yeah.
Heidi (23:34)
how was that coming off the road
how did you make that decision and and was it a natural decision?
Kristy Halvorsen (23:39)
Yeah. And you know, my philosophy is I don't ever have to make a decision. it seems like I'm making decisions, but they're already made. Like my heart knows. So I actually, don't even need to decide what I'm going to eat for lunch. it feels like I'm deciding, but actually if I listen to my knowing, then I already know. And so it was just natural, you know, like I'd gone home to visit mom for the holidays in 24.
and I could tell she wasn't doing well. She was living on her own, but it was just like, and then by February we found out her cancer had spread majorly. And when we found that out,
she gave me her keys because she couldn't drive. And we were walking out of the cancer center and she loves driving. She always drives, you know, and we were walking out of the cancer center and she just handed me her keys because she had just found out she had brain tumors.
And I just took the keys and got in the driver's seat. And I rarely ever drove my mom, believe it not. Like when we go places, she would always drive, unless I'm driving my truck and my Airstream. She
Heidi (24:38)
Yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (24:38)
tried that a few times and she wasn't thrilled though. I was trying to teach her, but in her Prius, she always drove. And so it was almost like that exchange of the keys was the answer. That was it. Like I just knew I wasn't going to leave my best friend, my mom, like my soulmate. But I tell you what,
of all the years that I needed in air quotes needed to be on the road. 2025 was the year I needed to be on the road for many reasons, including a relationship I was in, you know, including the book. Like I had planned to do this big book tour and I actually, I delayed the launch of the book from, from the summer of 25 because I, I didn't want to have to have that
in the way of caring for mom. And I had no idea she was going to make it to January. she's been a trailblazer the whole time and she just kept on going. So so yeah, so I postponed the launch of the book. I didn't do things I needed to. I felt like my relationship that I was in kind of fell apart also because of that. And there were times where like I remember sitting in the living room a few times and me and my mom just cried. And because she knew she knew I, quote, needed to be
out. I needed, I had things I really needed to be doing, but I needed to be with her more. And so we did, there was so many times where I would just sit and cry in the living room, sitting with her. She had two, two lazy boys and we sit side by side and I was just like, this sucks, but this is what has to happen. And, and I think that's, you know, it's so hard to follow your knowing when you really, really, really want.
Like want to be doing something else, but your heart knows what you need to be doing is actually exactly what's happening. You know, so...
Heidi (26:24)
Hm. Yeah. Yeah. I can relate
to that. I mean, I it's that it's that turmoil. There's like a bit of a struggle, at least for me.
my mom moved in with me and my husband and
she has early stage dementia
I know that this is where she's supposed to be and I'm, the best person at the moment to take care of her
Kristy Halvorsen (26:45)
Yeah.
Heidi (26:45)
my brothers have their own situations going on and so and we have the space and I had just retired from teaching in twenty twenty four.
I was going to be a writer. I had all these plans and it didn't last very long because we started realizing, she may have some dementia going on here, She was living in somewhere else with her husband And I thought, well, it can't be possible that she's gonna come live with me. You know, that d that's not in the plan. But there's that that pull of
I know that I'm supposed to be caring for her to the best of my ability, but then I also feel like I'm supposed to be doing the podcast. I'm supposed to be doing other things that that feed my soul too. So it's hard, finding that harmony And I'm just wondering what were some things that helped you
reconcile the the need to be on the road but also the need to be with her.
Kristy Halvorsen (27:41)
Yeah, and you know, the need to be on the road wasn't like my wanderlust. It was like things out in the world that were calling my name. And I was saying, no thanks, not right now, not yet, you know? And what I found is that, I know the true tickle of my soul and I know just my head saying what I think I should be doing.
And it's the trust. trust so much that I can say to myself, I don't know why this is happening. I don't know what's going to unfold, but I know what to do. And I know this is part of the perfect unfolding. So it's a part of that. A few minutes ago when I said we have to work the muscle of following those tickles.
when you really get what it feels like to trust that completely and wholly, then even the hard decisions, they're hard because you want like your brain and in parts of you want to be doing this other thing. But usually that's because there's an expectation involved or you think that if I were to do this, then this outcome would happen, you know,
Heidi (28:43)
Mm.
Kristy Halvorsen (28:44)
and it's the for no reason part, you know, like
other than just the love for my mother and knowing that that's where I was meant to be. there's been several times on this journey that I'm in my ninth year that I've said, this is why I quit my job and hit the road. Like there's been several times where I was like, my goodness, this is why. But it was that time with my mom when I was like, this is why. Like this is why. Cause I had several people, even my mom's neighbors that watched her.
Her decline said, imagine if you were still living in South Florida, six hours away and had a job that you couldn't leave. imagine the stress and heartache and imagine how different your mom's life would be. Imagine how different your life would be. I'm like, I know, like this is such a gift that I can just come and be with her, you know? So it's that, it's just the ultimate trust.
Heidi (29:37)
Yeah. I think maybe I just need to practice more of that. It's my
Kristy Halvorsen (29:40)
Yeah.
Heidi (29:41)
because I know it. Like I know that's true and I know that when we look back we say, you know, sometimes in the moment and sometimes it's years later we go, that's why that didn't happen or this that's why it unfolded this way or that way. It's like no no kidding, you know, it's I know that. I think maybe it's just more of that practicing that trust that I'm probably a little rusty on that and I need to get back to that. because
I wouldn't want my mom anywhere else, she's a different person than she used to be, but she's still my mom, I hope that if I get to that point someone would take care of me and, you know, have the patience and everything that's required to care for somebody with dementia. I think about that a lot. how how do I want to be treated?
so t shifting gears a little bit, so you obviously live a life of minimalism. That that is
Kristy Halvorsen (30:30)
Yeah.
Heidi (30:31)
one label that I think I can probably give you. I don't live in excess of a lot of stuff. I I have more than I need, of course. and I I tend to save things because I'm like, Well, what this kid's gonna be moving out soon, so you know, I'm gonna save this set of sheets and you know, and I've
never regretted saving any of the stuff because it keeps cycling. So but I do feel pulled to live in a more minimalist way. I like to entertain and it's nice to have those things. you said the container can shape what you collect, whether it's a house, a purse
or a life. And I would love for you to talk a little bit more about that. Because I'm I'm feeling that. I I moved into
Kristy Halvorsen (31:11)
Yeah.
Heidi (31:11)
a much bigger house with my new husband and we have a lot of space and I've noticed things filling up that I would like to kind of clean out a little bit.
Kristy Halvorsen (31:20)
Yeah, I totally feel that. So I've been in this place in New Hampshire since May. I
came to spend the summer here. This is one of the things that I couldn't do last year. I was invited here last year, but I came this year and there's a whole farmhouse, seven bedroom farmhouse that nobody's living in. I've noticed little things like I set up a little, I have a TRX. I don't know if you know what that is. It's a strap that you can work out with. It's like the only, it's like a whole gym in one strap. Like you can use your body weight. And so that's what I've traveled with. So I put that in, but then I was like on Facebook marketplace, like, I can get some dumbbells, know, like,
Heidi (31:53)
Right.
Kristy Halvorsen (31:55)
And then I was thinking, there's a pull-up bar here. And I was like, I want to get those bands that you can put around your knees and you can learn to do pull-ups with. And like, if I only had my Airstream, I wouldn't be buying any of that. There's nowhere to put a dumbbell. There's nowhere to put straps to do pull-ups. So where am going to do a pull-up anyways? You know, but because I had this little space this summer, I mean, I didn't buy anything like too pricey, but well, actually I did.
Heidi (32:20)
Ha ha ha.
Kristy Halvorsen (32:21)
but, but still like,
because there was a place to put it, it was just like, yeah, sure. You know, and when I, when I drive off two days from now, I'm going to leave that all here. But, but it was just like all suddenly I had a, container to put things in. And I, and I noticed how I so quickly was like, sure, I'll buy that. But without the space, like I love being a minimalist and you're right. That's one label.
I'll take, I'll take my wanderer. I'll take a minimalist, but like, I don't ever want to have a large house. Like I have a feeling there'll be a day when you reach out and I'm not living in a Airstream anymore. I think I'll still have Coddy She'll still be a part of the family, but I'm sure I'll be living in in a, kind of structure. And I'm like, I want it to be a tiny home or even just a very small house, like a thousand square feet or something like that's bigger than a tiny home, but still small enough to where I can't.
collect stuff like I could if I had a house double the size because
Heidi (33:20)
Right.
Kristy Halvorsen (33:22)
because yeah in a way the container limits I love not being able to buy frivolous stuff because I don't actually want this stuff you know
Heidi (33:32)
Yeah. I it's interesting
you said the container limits, I think, but it also gives you freedom because
Kristy Halvorsen (33:37)
It does.
Heidi (33:38)
you can't buy more things. I used to live in New York City and every little space is precious. You know, there isn't
Kristy Halvorsen (33:46)
Yeah.
Heidi (33:46)
a corner under the bed that doesn't have something underneath there. And when I moved from New York I moved into an old farmhouse and so I had
I had more space and it's like I feel like each house I've gotten has gotten a little bit bigger and somehow the spaces aren't empty anymore, do you have any good suggestions on somebody that wants to maybe start moving in that direction? I mean, other than just getting a smaller house.
Kristy Halvorsen (34:10)
Yeah,
you know, even now, so I've been living in the same Airstream for almost nine years, but usually at least once a year or so I'll be like, I want to get rid of stuff. Like I have too much and I'll just go around and like collect things that especially, you know, like the old rule of like, if you haven't touched it in six months, are the chances, you know, you
Heidi (34:29)
Right, right.
Kristy Halvorsen (34:30)
know, and there's some things like
My truck is a rolling toolbox. It's like everything you'd keep in a garage. And I know, and you've read the book, so know like stuff can happen out in the wild and you just need to be ready, you know? So I'm going to keep the tools and keep spare parts, but maybe I don't need all the clothes. My closet is like two and a half feet wide, And then I have some tubs, but there's still clothes in that closet that I can tell you I haven't worn in over a year. Like so,
do I really need them? You know, so,
Heidi (35:00)
Mm.
Kristy Halvorsen (35:01)
so there's, there's that. And then what I learned when I was doing the big downsides from the three bedroom, two bath house to the Airstream was all the things that had emotions behind it. You know, whether, whether
Heidi (35:13)
yeah, yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (35:15)
it was a picture or like a conch shell that I got because of who I was with in this one place or, know, or just things from childhood or something my mom gave me. And what I did back then,
I think my mom suggested this because I was like, my gosh, it's like hurting my soul, all these memories. And she's like, take a picture of it. And so I did, you know, I took pictures of them and I saved them on my computer somewhere. And that was in 2017. I've never once looked at them, but take,
Heidi (35:44)
That's a yeah, yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (35:46)
but to me, I'm like, all these things that carry an emotional tie. Well, I can just look at a photo and feel the emotion. I don't need them.
Heidi (35:54)
That's true. Yeah.
I've heard that before and I've thought about doing that and I thought, well then I won't know where the photos are. But like
Kristy Halvorsen (36:00)
Yeah.
Heidi (36:01)
you said, will you really go back to the photos?
we really don't need all those things. I think that's the thing that I sometimes I'll think, I wanna save that 'cause my grandchildren or whatever. But I saved things for my kids and they didn't care. My daughter
Kristy Halvorsen (36:16)
Yeah.
Heidi (36:17)
She's very feminine, but she did not like dolls when she was little. She didn't play with them. She had a little baby doll. it looked like a an actual baby. so I saved all these things thinking that, you know, my my daughter will play with these one day. Nope. Could have cared less. And,
Kristy Halvorsen (36:31)
Yeah. Yeah.
Heidi (36:34)
you know, what was the point of, you know, saving all those things? But
I like the concept of being a minimalist. I don't think I could fully
Kristy Halvorsen (36:41)
Yeah.
Heidi (36:42)
lean in but
Kristy Halvorsen (36:44)
But even to your point.
We actually will do our loved ones a favor if we have less stuff when we die.
Heidi (36:49)
yes. I'm so glad you said that. And this may sound really strange, but when I left teaching, my sister-in-law was really sick. she had a very aggressive and rare form of cancer, and she unfortunately was diagnosed in February of that year and died by December.
Kristy Halvorsen (37:10)
Yeah.
Heidi (37:11)
And it came out of nowhere.
so I I left teaching. I retired early. I didn't put in the fully twenty or thirty years, whatever it would have been. I would have been my seventies and there was no way I was gonna do that. So I left teaching and I remember thinking, Okay, if you have a year left to live, what are you gonna do? Because watching her her go through this and my brother and my nephews, it's like we're just not guaranteed anything. but it really made me think what would I do? Would I travel? No.
the thing I would do the most is spend time with people I love. that's an obvious given. I was like, yeah, but what else would you do? And I thought, y clean out and get rid of stuff so that you don't leave it behind for the ones that are left. And so
I told that to a few people and they're like, That's how you'd live your last year of li I said, Yeah. You know, because the
Kristy Halvorsen (38:05)
Yeah.
Heidi (38:05)
the peace of mind, knowing I wasn't burdening my family and people that I love to have to go through my crap, when I was gone. I got part way through doing that actually. and then I stopped. My mom ended up moving in and that was a whole other thing. But I mean, that's kinda how I would spend the last year of my life. I would
spend it with family and people I love, my friends, and cleaning out.
Kristy Halvorsen (38:30)
Yeah.
Heidi (38:31)
But I think it's time well spent. we cleaned out the basement of my dad's childhood home and there was two point two tons of garbage and we hauled it away in a big truck and my dad didn't throw anything away that had value.
So this was all true garbage. And I thought, I I don't want to do that to my kids. So it's inspiring. I'm gonna I'm gonna go clean out some closets.
Kristy Halvorsen (38:57)
There you go.
Heidi (38:58)
you met
a lot of people on your journey and you've stayed in touch with them even if you don't necessarily talk to them all the time or even see them again, you said that each person I spend a moment with alters the hem and fit of my soul. And I just I get emotional thinking about that.
Kristy Halvorsen (39:15)
Yeah.
Heidi (39:15)
I mean I got it. I was like, yes I but if you could just maybe
share a little bit more on that.
Kristy Halvorsen (39:24)
Yeah, I feel like one of the biggest gifts of this journey I've been on, for close to nine years now is... Like... Like, just being with people. And not being in a rush. And being, like, present in a way I never knew how to do before. And the depth of connection with people. Even people that I just see in passing and...
you know, I'm with for 15 or 20 minutes. Like, it's been incredible, the depth of connection that's possible. and I just realized, like, everyone, everyone, everyone, like I am, I am changed by everyone I meet, in some way, we've like glanced by each other in this journey of life. And I feel that
even when we don't realize that it's true for all of us. I realized that near the end of writing this book. it's about so many things, but one of the things it's about is all the incredible humans in the world. And you know, all the incredible humans aren't in the book, but there are like a 90 something of them.
you know, that are mentioned in the book. And believe it or not, in the year that the book encapsulates, there was so many more people that I just couldn't put in or else it'd be an encyclopedia and not a memoir, you know? But
Heidi (40:40)
Right.
Kristy Halvorsen (40:41)
I just realized every single person, alters me in some way. you know, we've emailed back and forth a few times, but this is the first time we've actually seen each other and spoken. But
My life is now different because of what we've talked about and because of the things you've said and brought to light for me.
Heidi (41:02)
Same.
Kristy Halvorsen (41:04)
And we don't realize how we do that for other people. And we don't need to try. It's not something you have to set out to do. But I just know every single person has altered the hem and fit of my soul. I've learned something. I've seen something. I've felt something. Like I've touched another part of myself that I didn't know was there because of
because of this quote stranger. And so I'm doing my best to ramble around and put words around it, but there's just not words to put around it other than I am different because of everyone.
Heidi (41:37)
Yeah. I can relate to that. I think that people do touch us in a way that it's not a way that you can necessarily put words to and I used to think that I had to keep in touch with everybody that touched me in some way and I realized well that's not possible. You know, that would be impossible to do sometimes people just come in to your life and they they add
another little building block or another little something and and you carry that forward. I just I love that quote. I was telling my friend Connie we're hosting a yoga retreat in Asheville and I was like she's like when am I gonna get to read the book? Because she comes on the podcast and I joke that she's my my second producer. Like we run run things by each other all the time but
I was like, you'll get the book when I give it to you. No.
Kristy Halvorsen (42:17)
Yeah. Yeah.
Heidi (42:20)
But but yeah, it's a beautiful recognition that that everybody that's come into your life has touched it in some way.
your book is also a love story on a couple of different levels, which
I'm not gonna give anything away. Someone's gonna have to go
Kristy Halvorsen (42:32)
Ha
Heidi (42:33)
buy the book But I wanna ask what's next for you? Are you going to write another book? Are you gonna stay on the road,
Kristy Halvorsen (42:37)
Well, if I was a betting person, I would put most of my money into the pot of, think this time next year, I won't have the nomad label. And I don't know for sure, but.
this place I'm at in New Hampshire feels like it's been asking me to stay. And like, just like when I knew to stay with mom and I didn't leave, I know now I need to go, you know, like I've got things calling me out West. So I'm going to go West and then I'm going to do my normal, you know, go South for the winter. But I have, I've already told
my friends here that own this farm that hasn't been a farm in a hundred years that as soon as the snow melts, me and Coddy are coming back and, and probably growing roots. So, you know, nothing set in stone and even I could come here and grow roots and then, you know, uproot like, knows, who
Heidi (43:39)
Right, right, yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (43:40)
knows, but it feels like this could possibly be a forever home here. And then just spending a few months here this summer, not only
what we're up to, we're building an educational regenerative farm where we're going to teach young people how to be farmers and grow food in a way that's good for the environment and good for us. And then we're going to bring in leaders from around the world and show them how nature and regenerative farming relate to how we can live better lives and have better businesses.
Heidi (44:09)
Love it.
Kristy Halvorsen (44:11)
it's hundreds of acres of woods and a beautiful lake and
the nicest neighbors. mean, the neighbors are not like right next door, but the nicest people. I just feel so at home It's going to be hard to pull out in two days, but I, I really truly feel like this might be my last migration, you know, like me
Heidi (44:29)
Yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (44:29)
and Coddy will still be a team and I'm sure
Heidi (44:32)
Right.
Kristy Halvorsen (44:32)
I'll go on little journeys with her, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to call myself a full-time traveler, you know, come next spring. So
Heidi (44:39)
Yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (44:40)
that's, that's what's possibly next.
But in the short term, like I said, I'm going west. I've got some speaking engagements and friends to visit. And so I'm going to have a really cool time. I'm going to go to North Dakota. That's the furthest north I'll go. And then I'll start heading south through Utah, New Mexico, and then probably back over to the southeast for the winter.
Heidi (45:00)
That sounds awesome. New Hampshire's beautiful. so beautiful, especially in the summertime. Wow. I love the regenerative
Kristy Halvorsen (45:05)
Yes. Yes.
Heidi (45:07)
the regenerative farm concept as well. That's really great.
Kristy Halvorsen (45:10)
Yeah, yeah, it's been fun.
Heidi (45:12)
thank you so much, Kristy, for taking the time Maybe next time we'll meet, it'll be Airstream to Airstream or 'cause cause
Kristy Halvorsen (45:18)
Yes!
Heidi (45:19)
Coddy and for anyone listening, Coddy is the name of her Airstream.
Kristy's Airstream, so I I didn't mention that in the beginning, Coddy's not going anywhere. And mine is gonna
Kristy Halvorsen (45:26)
Coddy's gonna... No.
Heidi (45:28)
be stable because she has we've we've dismantled a lot of things on our so she's going to be pretty permanent. I'm in the Gulf Coast of Mississippi in Biloxi. Yeah.
Kristy Halvorsen (45:36)
Where are you at? Where are you located? cool.
one of Coddy's doctors is there at Foley RV down in Mississippi. Yeah, so Coddy goes there every now and then.
Heidi (45:47)
yes. Well,
the next time you're gonna have to stop by for sure. And we we've got
Kristy Halvorsen (45:53)
Yes.
Heidi (45:54)
space here. You can what do you call no not boondock. What do you call it? Yeah. yeah. We
Kristy Halvorsen (45:57)
Yeah, boondocking,
Heidi (45:59)
got lots of space. We have a huge bunch of property.
So but thank you so much.
Kristy Halvorsen (46:04)
Thank you.
Heidi (46:08)
hi there. I wanted to pop in here really quick and let you know that if you're listening on Spotify or Apple or someplace else where you can't see who is talking, you can watch all of the Evolving Together videos and extra content in YouTube.
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Definitely check that out. I also have extra content and Patreon that is not on YouTube. so you know, depending on what floats your boat, you might want to check out one or the other.
Also, I love both of those platforms because it feels like more of a community where you can like things and comment and interact with other listeners. however you listen and however you listen and watch, we appreciate every single like, share, comment, you name it, bring it. We love it.
Thank you so much again for listening and being a part of the Evolving Together podcast community in whatever way you listen and however you show up.
Heidi (47:37)
Thanks for listening to the whole episode. That really means so much to us here at the Evolving Together podcast. That means we did something right. now it's time for the patron shout-outs. And we had four new members join: Tommy Boy, Mad Cost, Libya Garcia, and Sandy.
Thank you so much for joining and being part of the Evolving Together Patreon family. We'll see you in the next episode. Thanks so much. Bye bye.
Heidi (48:07)
and now for the disclaimer. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. The views expressed are our own and should not be taken as medical, legal, or financial guidance. always consult a qualified professional regarding your specific situation.
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