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Tomorrow can be different from today.
Our lives often leave us feeling hopeless—like nothing will ever change. But perspective is everything. When you know where to look, hope can be found in the spaces and places you least expect.
Join Jason Gore (Lead Pastor of Hope Community Church) for a fresh perspective, practical steps, and weekly encouragement that hope really is possible… even in real life.
What happened was I walked out that day with hope.
Yeah. Hmm. And when you give hope
Yep. To a
hopeless person, that is a powerful thing. Yeah.
Because the person I was laying in my bed at one in the
morning contemplating ending my life.
Yeah. Had zero hope.
Welcome to the Hope and Real Life podcast with Jason Gore.
Our team is passionate
and committed to bringing you more hope in the everyday
real areas of your life.
If this conversation and content is valuable for you,
please do us a favor, like, subscribe, and even share.
You never know how valuable it could be
to share a little bit of hope with someone else.
Let's get the conversation started.
Well, hello, hope in real life family.
We are in for a treat on this episode.
Uh, this podcast, as you know, is all about bringing hope
and into the everyday moments of our lives.
I know there's some listeners out there that are like me
and have often thought, man, if I just had a bit more money,
I could be a little bit further down the road.
We're gonna talk about that in this
episode, but so much more.
We have a fantastic guest with us. Mrs.
Molly, welcome to the show. Thank you
So much for having me. I'm
really excited to be here. Yeah.
So, uh, so much look, wife, mom,
author, podcaster.
Just tell us a little bit about yourself and, uh,
before we jump into all the different things
that I'm sure we're gonna talk about.
The 36,000 foot view is, uh, I'm a wife to John.
We've been married for 12 and a half years.
I'm a mom to Lily, who's 11. Amos is eight.
And we have two little boys, Elijah and Malachi in heaven.
And, uh, we live on a small farm in
Hillsborough, North Carolina.
And we raise ducks and chickens and turkeys and geese
and, uh, goats and all of the various and sundry animals.
We have bees. Um, and, uh, life is busy and full
and wonderful and beautiful.
And, um, my day job, I guess you could say is, uh, I get
to write and, um, produce a podcast, uh, every week.
And, uh, I just released my first book back in March.
Um, and I actually today, the day we were recording this,
uh, I have, it's my first day of school, uh,
is I am attending seminary, so Oh, awesome.
Uh, yeah, so I started seminary today,
and so now I'm a grad student.
Look at you. So just casual.
So that's, that's, that's my life in a nutshell.
So you said a book, if I don't laugh, I'll cry Yeah.
Is the name of the book. And I said, miss Molly,
that's the southern boy in me coming out, being respectful.
That's right. Sorry, Molly Stillman. Yeah.
Uh, and, and I know you talk about this in your book,
but can you just give us a little bit of background,
just the CliffNotes version on your story? Yeah.
Uh, that is a, a loaded question,
but I'll try to do the best that I can.
Um, so I did not grow up a Christian,
I didn't grow up in a Christian home.
Um, I grew up the daughter of two incredible parents, uh,
who were, uh, recovering alcoholic Irish Catholics.
So, um, that was the,
Uh, we we're now writing a movie as we speak. Correct.
Let's go. Correct. Um, so my life was loud and unfiltered
and, um, there was a lot of bad words Yeah.
But a lot of laughter. Um,
and so, you know, my parents actually, my,
my dad had been married a couple times before he met my mom.
Um, my mom had been married once before,
and so, you know, they met later in life.
Um, my dad was 41 when I was born.
My mom was 38, and that this was in the eighties,
which like, that was not super common.
Right. Um, but they, they met in aa, they fell in love,
and they actually got married six weeks
after their first date.
Wow. Um, and so I, I,
we kinda was thrust into the world into this very
unique family situation.
Um, but even more unique is my mom was
a, uh, Vietnam veteran.
So she served from 1969 to 1970
as an army nurse in the Vietnam War.
And when she came home from Vietnam, I mean, only about,
they actually don't even know the exact number,
but they think about 11,000 women, uh, served in Vietnam.
And when she came home, uh, she had severe PTSD,
she was suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction.
Um, she was in a, a marriage
where she was broken.
I mean, she was so broken.
She talks about this in her story, um,
that she didn't even tell her therapist.
She had gone to Nam that was like how much she repressed it.
And, um, it was at a time
where the VA didn't even acknowledge
that women served in Vietnam.
They had no way to support, um, veterans who had PTSD.
I mean, it was just a, a host of things.
Um, and so then my mom, uh, wrote
and published her memoir called Home Before Mourning in,
uh, 1983.
So two years before I was born.
And, uh, eventually it, uh, went on
to inspire a TV show called China Beach,
which aired in like the late eighties, early nineties.
And so I was born into this kind of, uh, unique situation,
which by osmosis,
I never didn't know my mom was a Vietnam veteran.
Like, because she was constantly like testifying
before Congress or like she was on Larry King Live,
or, you know, Colin Powell was in my living room.
It was like things that I didn't like think about
as a kid. I didn't think
It's hard for me to, 'cause people are like,
what's it like when Colin Powell comes to your house?
And I have to tell 'em. I mean, yeah.
You know, just relax, just,
but not everybody I know it's you.
Everybody doesn't get to experience
that like we did, you know, I'm just saying.
It's just like I've got a few flexes
I can drop if I really needed to. Small flex. That's
Cool. You know, slight flex. Yeah.
Um, but yeah, it was so, it was this really, uh,
just unique upbringing. And, um,
One time Ronald McDonald came to my birthday party.
Hey, you know, I mean, I'm not gonna lie though.
I'm terrified of clouds.
So good for you and better for me. I'll let
You continue. Sorry.
No, it's okay. I just got flexed on and I
Thought No, I love it. No, it's
all right. It's all right. Um,
but, uh, so, so then, um, uh, you know, kind of fast forward
to, um, 1994, the fall of 1994, I was nine
and, uh, we were remodeling, um, part of our house.
We lived in this really, really old house.
It was was like over a hundred years old,
and my parents were remodeling some of it.
And long story short, my mom,
within 24 hours ends up in ICU.
And over the course of the next few months, as we went
to every doctor, every specialist, um,
we ended up in Denver, Colorado at a hospital out there,
she was diagnosed with an incredibly rare disease
that only about four other people in the world
had ever been diagnosed with.
And they directly linked it to her exposure
to Agent Orange while she was there.
But at the time, the VA and,
and all of those things, like,
they didn't acknowledge Agent Orange as a cause of any
of these illnesses, with the exception
of like a couple of cancers.
And so, uh, at the time, she was given a two year,
basically, they, they told her,
you've got about two years to live.
My parents actually chose to keep that information from me.
Okay. And so they chose for a variety of reasons.
But, um, so now as an adult, I know that information.
Can I ask how old you were just for that time?
I was, I was nine. So you were nine, okay. I was nine.
Right. And so, um, and spoiler alert, my mom got eight.
So, um, she defied every odds, um, that were thrown at her.
And, um, but you know, the reality is,
is like my parents were living their lives
with a very different perspective than I did,
because I knew my mom was sick,
but I didn't have the context of every single day
that she woke up was an actual miracle.
Yeah. Whereas my parents then chose,
we're gonna do whatever we can to prolong her life to live,
um, each day to the full.
Um, and so I watched that,
but not necessarily having the context of like,
living out a death sentence.
Yeah. If that makes sense. Mm-Hmm.
Um, and so fast forward many years, you know, when you,
if anybody has ever had a chronically ill parent or spouse
or child, like, you know, it just,
it takes everything from you.
Yeah. It takes, I mean, there's no sense
of normalcy left in your life.
It takes you, or everything from you financially,
relationally, I mean, just, yeah.
Again, there's, there's nothing normal.
Um, and then she died my, uh, fall semester
of my senior year of high school.
So it was November of 2002. Oh. And so now I'm 17.
And, uh, I, my, you know, my mom has died,
and it was for me, it was sudden for my dad,
he'd been grieving for eight years.
Yeah. Because he had eight years
to process this information, whereas all
of a sudden I was shoved into grief.
Yeah. And so, um, that singular event, um,
and I share all that backstory to tell you that
that singular event of losing my mom,
I can tell you without a shadow
of a doubt shaped the rest of my life.
And so I'm, you know, I was 17 at the time, I'm 39 now,
and for 22 years, every single thing from
that very moment, like it changed the, the, the course
and the trajectory of my life.
Yeah. Um, and so, uh, that's kind of the, the nutshell of,
and then, uh, I think it was kind
of mentioned at the beginning, there's some
financial stuff in there.
Yeah. And then eventually I came to know the Lord,
and now I'm married and I have kids.
And so a lot of life has happened,
but that, that singular, uh,
event really shaped the rest of my life.
So I've heard you say in 2010
you kinda hit rock bottom Mm-Hmm.
Can you talk a little bit about that
and what that was like for you emotionally,
spiritually, physically? Right.
So, um, so for just a, a, a shred of con of, uh, context.
So, uh, she died in 2002.
I go off to college and for a lot of people,
especially teenagers that are, and really adults too,
but when everybody's dealing with grief, um,
if you're dealing with it in an unhealthy way, a lot
of times that can manifest itself in a variety of ways.
Whether it's, uh, you know, pursuing things like, uh, drugs
or alcohol or, uh, relationships, relationships,
all these kinds of things that can be unhealthy
coping mechanisms.
Um, for me, that was actually not my story
because I grew up the child of alcoholics, uh,
recovering alcoholics.
And so I was afraid of drugs and alcohol.
So I was like, well, that's not gonna be the direction
that I'm gonna go.
Um, and so I sought solace
and comfort in like, success and identity
and, um, how great people thought I was
or how funny people thought I was,
or the Colin Powell flexes I would
drop or whatever, you know what I mean? Like
Yeah. I felt
Those are the kinds of things that I would, I,
I pursued really heavily.
And then, um, I also kind of, again, it was like in this,
like, this level of status is like, am I the best?
So by my senior year of college,
I was student body president.
I was, uh, writing
and starring in the campus sketch comedy group.
I was in a sorority, like I had a great boyfriend.
So it was like, look at me and how great I am,
because it was distracting
of the brokenness that was within me.
Right. And then, uh, my 21st birthday,
which was August 23rd, 2007, excuse me, 2006.
Um, my 21st birthday was like the
second or third day of classes.
My senior year. I get a letter, uh, that says
that I have a certified letter
to pick up in the campus mail room.
I go down and I pick it up
and inside is a check for a quarter of a million dollars.
Okay. And right.
And, um, as most 21 year olds on their 21st birthday,
get a check for a quarter
of a million dollars. And it was, um,
Unfortunately, I can't say this
is like the Colin Powell thing.
Yeah, I know. This one's, I did not get one of those.
Yeah. Yeah. It was, you know, I was just shocked
that this was not like a lived
human experience for everybody.
Right. Um, so I get this check
and it, long story short, it was, um, from, uh,
it was an inheritance from my mom's estranged family.
And, uh, there was like a trust that had been set up
that was, you know, supposed
to be when the last living grandparent died,
it would be sold off
and broken, uh, up between the five kids
since my mom had passed on, her share went to me.
And so this was all of a sudden, this moment of, huh,
well I have all this money now.
And nobody ever really like told me what to do with it.
And I grew up not having a lot of money.
And like we, you know, I was like shopping at Kmart
and secondhand before that was like cool and in right.
Um, and so all of a sudden I went from having no money
to having a lot of money.
And then I had no resources to be able to actually know what
to do with that money.
Um, and within less than two years,
not only had I spent every last dime, um,
but I was then tens of thousands
of dollars in consumer credit card debt,
and I was hiding this from everybody around me.
Nobody knew what I was going through.
Um, I moved to North Carolina,
so I was living in Virginia at the time.
I moved to North Carolina in the summer of 2009 at the peak
of a recession with no job lined up
and in an unhealthy relationship.
So, as you can probably imagine, yeah.
Things just began to spiral even more so than,
uh, I thought they could.
And, um, by the spring of 2010, I was working four jobs
just to barely make ends meet.
Um, the unhealthy relationship that I was in had ended.
Um, and I had reached a point of spiritual,
emotional, mental, financial rock bottom that I,
the only alternative that I saw was that I,
I needed to take my own life.
And so when I got to that point, when you get to that point
and you live alone,
and the only way out is to just end it all,
um, that's a really, really difficult dark place to be.
Yeah. Um, but uh, by God's grace,
uh, there was now what I now know to be the Holy Spirit.
Um, there was something at the time telling me like,
it's not time to give up yet.
And, um, and so in the fall of 2010, I, I kind of got
to this point where I had, I'd tried everything else
and I was like, I guess I'll give this Jesus guy a try.
Like, why not? Uh, I mean, truly that's like really the,
the point that I got to where I was like,
this is my last ditch effort.
Let me ask you a question. Did 'cause
your mom had passed away.
Mm-Hmm. Was your dad still living
At the My dad? Yeah.
My dad actually, he is still living.
He just turned 80. Wow. Yeah.
He's killing it. That's awesome. He's loving it.
Hope and real life family. I want to take a moment
and let you know about a resource that we have for you
for your own personal development, spiritual enrichment,
and really a way for you
to find a bit more hope in real life.
We have a tool for you called the Hope in Real Life app.
It offers things like parenting tips, financial resources,
marriage insights, uh, if you're looking for it,
there's even Bible reading plans in there.
And there's a community
where you can even share prayer requests
and know that someone is praying for you for whatever it is
that you have going on in your life.
It's available right now in the Apple App
Store or in Google Play.
You can search hope in real life in both stores,
or you can use the download link that is in the show notes.
Remember, tomorrow can be better than today
and hope is possible even in real life.
Did you have any other supportive, don't forget
where we were 'cause I'll forget in your story.
No. Did you have other supportive relationships?
You mentioned an unhealthy relationship
At the time. I did not,
no. Okay. No.
Um, because at that point in my journey, I had,
I had isolated myself so much
that I had pretty much pushed everybody out.
Yeah. And I didn't, I was so embarrassed Yep.
And ashamed by the, the position that I'd gotten myself in.
And so I just, I isolated myself to the point where I,
I was alone.
Both like, kind of figuratively and literally,
but like, my dad didn't know what was going on.
Yeah. My sister didn't know what was going on. Nobody did.
And Molly, I say that I ask that question
because in our last guest that we had on the show,
actually just earlier today, uh, Josh Broom, he talked about
how when he kinda went down a path
that he knew he shouldn't have gone down,
he felt like the one person in his life
that was his mother had instilled better values in him.
And so he felt like he had severed that relationship
and was embarrassed and took him to a place of isolation.
Yeah. And it's just, when you hear something consistently,
you know, I don't,
certainly don't have a degree in this stuff.
We got some life experience,
but it's, it's, it's mind blowing how our trauma,
um, our poor decision making actually take us to a place
that tells us, okay, so now I have to run from people
when really at the end of the day, what we need
to be doing is allowing people in our lives Yeah.
To love us and to remind us soon.
No, you actually do have some value Yeah. In your
Life. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I mean,
we can look at all throughout scripture, like,
God did not create us to be in isolation.
Right. Like, um,
and something, this is actually something I I talked about
at my church, uh, uh, earlier this year, is something
that had never occurred to me is
that if you go all the way back to Genesis,
if you go all the way back to the beginning, um,
we can be alone with God.
Right. We could be alone and have God mm-Hmm.
And God does not want us to be alone.
Like if, when he literally looks
and he says, it's not good for man to be alone,
so I'm gonna make a helper for him.
Yeah. And so he creates Eve, but he,
but it's to create this picture of community.
'cause sometimes like people can say
like, oh, I'm not lonely.
Like I have Jesus. You can be alone and have Jesus. Yeah.
Right. You can be alone and have Jesus.
And so like, that was a moment where I realized like, I,
I can't do this alone.
And so, um, at the time, so in, in the fall of 2010,
I had started, um, it's hard to say, you know,
like what we were, but you know, like the kids say talking.
Um, but I was like talking to this guy that I work with
who spoiler alert is my husband now.
Um, but we, we worked together
and we, it was one of those things
where we kept getting assigned to like different, uh,
you know, like work projects together. Oh, he
Was like your work bestie.
He was my, he became my work bestie. Okay.
But we, you know, I remember one day, um, I did, I mean,
I did, there was a point where I
was like, he's kind of cute.
Um, but I did not want a relationship. Okay.
I was like, not in a good spot for that.
But we had, uh, been assigned to a task, uh, like
where we had to go and set up
for the 4th of July at Keenan Stadium in Chapel Hill.
And, um, and so we had some time to kill.
And so we ended up getting lunch on Franklin Street.
And I remember we sat in Spanky's Restaurant, RIP, um,
right there on Franklin Street
and, um, over, you know, their delicious chips.
Um, we started talking,
and for the first time, like I was having this conversation
with another person where like, I didn't feel, as I started
to share some things I had never really shared.
Like, I, I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel judged.
And so, um, but very quickly I learned he was a Christian
and he had grown up in the faith his whole life,
and he had missed like, you know, five Sundays ever.
Yeah. Um, and um,
and so one day in September of 2010, I just, on a whim,
I said, can, can I go to church with you?
And he was like, yeah, absolutely. And,
And how long had you been friends?
We were just, you know, friends Yeah. For probably
Eating just friends eating chips and spans
At that, at that point, probably like two months.
Two months. Okay. Two months. I mean, we'd worked together
for probably eight months at that point.
Okay. But we'd been like hanging out regularly
for like two months at that point.
Okay. Um, but like I said, it was just this, this moment
where I realized I was like,
something is different about him.
And it wasn't, it wasn't like a,
not even in a romantic sense, what it was was it was a, he,
this guy like is just, I've always described my husband
as this, and he was like this when I met him
and when he was in his mid twenties to now at,
you know, almost 41.
Like, he's steadfast, he's
solid in his identity and,
and he is just really secure in who he is
and what God created him to be
and who God created him to be.
And there was something that was just really unique about
that to me, um, where he was, he's not swayed
by the winds of culture.
He's not swayed by any, like, he is just rock solid
in his beliefs and, and, and his foundation.
And that was not anything I was remotely used to. Oh.
Um, and so I stepped foot in the doors of a church
for the first time and I was terrified.
Yeah. Because I was like,
these people are gonna find out my, my junk
and they're gonna be like, no, thank you.
Get on outta here. Um,
but that day, uh,
I heard the gospel for the very first time.
Mm-Hmm. I had never heard the gospel before.
I had never heard that there was the, I mean, I knew
who Jesus was, but I could not have told you
that he was God's son who was sent to earth to, you know,
to live a perfect sinless life.
To to die on a cross for me, for my sins.
And then for three days later for him to be risen from the,
the dead so that I could have eternal life Yeah.
With him that I could be forgiven.
Like I, that had, I had never heard it. Yeah.
And I was 25 and I walked out that day and,
and I don't wanna like paint this, you know, like
Hallmark story where I raised my hands
and I surrendered it all and I was crying
and it wasn't any, it wasn't that.
What happened was I walked out that day with hope. Yeah.
And when you give hope to a hopeless person,
that is a powerful thing
because the person I was laying in my bed at one in the
morning contemplating ending my life Yeah.
Had zero hope.
But the next day I had a sliver of hope. Yeah.
And then I continued to go to church every single Sunday.
And I got a little bit more hope
and a little bit more hope and a little bit more hope.
And then that's like, it's just this like, process
of growth little by little that adds up.
Like, I mean now I'm not discounting the, the people
who like fall on their knees
and raise their, that happens for some people.
Right. That was not my story. Yeah.
It was a much more gradual thing.
'cause I think God had knew
that he had a whole lot of work to do in here,
Hope in real life family.
I wanna pause for a moment
and let you know about an opportunity
that I believe can help you find a bit more
hope in everyday life.
Listen, I know a lot of our viewers probably aren't a part
of a church, or maybe you gave up on the church a long time
ago and, and believe me, uh, possibly for good reason.
I understand. Uh,
but I don't want you to miss out on the hope
that you can actually experience by journeying alongside
of a group of people that really are seeking
God's best for their lives.
If you are the least bit curious, uh, we try to make this
as simple for you as we possibly can, wherever it is
that you digest digital content podcast, you can go
to the podcast story.
You can check it out on YouTube
and just search Hope Community Church.
You'll be able to find our messages
there and check those out.
Or if you actually want to tune in during a service time,
uh, you can go to get Hope TV at four 15
or 6:00 PM Eastern Standard Time,
or you can tune in at nine 30
or 11:15 AM Eastern Standard Time.
Again, that's at Get Hope tv.
We hope that you'll take a chance with us
and experience what it is God has for you in your life.
You're gonna find practical messages
that will help you find hope in
the everyday moments of your life.
Hope you'll check it out. How long did you
and your now husband date
before you ended up getting engaged?
Uh, so he finally admitted I was his girlfriend by,
uh, Halloween.
Okay. Um, so Halloween.
Well, 'cause we, we had to, um,
we worked at a radio station in Chapel Hill
and for anybody in the Chapel Hill area knows,
like Halloween on Franklin Street is like a whole thing.
I, yes. It's a whole thing.
And so we were, uh, I had broadcasting,
I would say my last, my kids listen to this, I may
or may not have had a significant night of partying
my freshman year in college.
Yeah. On Franklin Street. Yeah. In Halloween.
Yeah. It's a, it's a thing, But I maybe didn't
Yeah, but you maybe didn't
hypothetically you hypothetical.
Yeah. So, but yeah, we worked with the radio station.
We, we were broadcasting from,
um, Franklin Street on Halloween.
And my hus we decided to go as Fort Gump and Jenny.
Oh, good. And so I know, and we both, but he,
but he wasn't my boyfriend
'cause he was like, I don't have a girlfriend.
I don't want a girlfriend. And, uh, he picked me up
and he was like, uh, and I was like, oh, hi Forest.
And he said, I'm not kidding.
This is exactly, this is so true. And, um, Hey Jenny.
And, uh, he said, Hey, Jenny.
And, uh, I said, why are you so good to me for?
And he said, because you're my girl.
And uh, and then, and at that point I like broke character
and I was like, so am I now.
Like, am I your girlfriend now? And he was like, yes.
And then like three days later he told me he loved me.
And then like a month later we were
discussing getting married.
And so we were engaged by July.
And then we got married in February of 2012. So, okay. Yeah.
The magic of Franklin Street.
I know the magic of, and oh, he was in full forest costume
and he would just run up and down Franklin Street, like,
and he had the forest run like nailed.
I, I would literally stand on the sidewalk
and go run forest.
Anyway, so that was really fun. Okay.
Hope and real life family.
Clearly the conversation is going great,
but we're gonna press pause just
for a moment in case you just happen to be getting to work
or back home from your commute.
Uh, if you want to keep listening, feel free just
to jump on over to the next episode
and we will see you on the other side.
Let's keep sharing hope.
Thanks for tuning into this episode
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