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Weight of Manhood is hosted by Adam Smith and Ethan Ross. Two guys that met at church and realized they had a lot in common. They're both men who work hard for their families, they each served in the military, and most of all they love Jesus with all they have. This podcast is designed to be raw, up front about today's issues, funny, but most of all, unapologetically about Jesus - the true example of Biblical Manhood.
Ethan Ross [00:00:00]:
It's never a good thing to leave your family behind, but you died actively doing your duty as a father. You saved your son's life, but not only did you do that, you left your legacy by raising another son that saved yours, temporarily at least, but was capable of it.
Adam Smith [00:00:32]:
Foreign I'm Adam.
Ethan Ross [00:00:37]:
Welcome to Way to Manhood.
Adam Smith [00:00:38]:
So, first off, yesterday. Well, last episode. I'm sorry, last week.
Ethan Ross [00:00:46]:
A week ago, when we recorded.
Adam Smith [00:00:47]:
There you go.
Ethan Ross [00:00:48]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:00:48]:
So I said that about Real Men read, and there was a quote that I couldn't think of, and it's by Jim Rohn, and it basically says, your level of success will never exceed your level of personal development. So that's where we were going with Real Men read. Because if you want to progress, if you want to be successful, whether it's at whatever. If you want to be successful, not just financially. Right?
Ethan Ross [00:01:30]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:01:30]:
Yeah. If you read and study and try to improve. Yeah, that's. That's where that was coming from.
Ethan Ross [00:01:39]:
Well, because, you know, Fight Club was big when I was. The movie was big when I was younger. And I won't say the quote because it's kind of crude, which. You know what I'm talking about. Kind of looking down on men who improve themselves. And I. It always bothered me because I'm like, well, if you're not trying to improve yourself, what are you doing? Not that I've spent the majority. My twenties were not spent well.
Ethan Ross [00:02:11]:
Okay. Well, in some ways, they were spent trying to improve myself. But if you look at my life as a whole, you'd be like, that guy doesn't. He's never tried to do that. But it's always bothered me because if you're not trying to improve. And we talked about the weight of manhood is. Is the role. It's showing up as your best to whatever role you're in at that time, fatherhood, husbandhood, your job, a friend, member of your church, whatever it is, if you're not showing up at your best, you're not carrying the weight like you need to.
Ethan Ross [00:02:45]:
If you're not trying to improve in each aspect of your life, you're not carrying the weight you need to carry.
Adam Smith [00:02:53]:
Mm.
Ethan Ross [00:02:54]:
And I'm not saying all of your time has to be devoted to it. Actually, there was. There was a guy. Back when I was in law enforcement, there was a guy that came to train us, and I don't remember what the training was. It was something to do with Active Shooter, I think. I think it was after Shooter. Active Shooter training. And this guy, you could tell he breathed law enforcement.
Ethan Ross [00:03:24]:
And he was, he made a comment about how your hobbies should support your profession or something like that. Basically he was saying, like, if you're in law enforcement, your hobbies need to reflect what you do. They don't need to be at odds with or irrelevant to your profession. And back then I rejected it because he was talking about how you should do firearms, you know, as your hobby, combat sports, gym stuff, which back then I was, I was, and we'll get into this in a little bit. I was starting to mentally move away from law enforcement, even though I was still in the job and I rejected it. But now thinking back, like, yeah, that makes sense. It makes sense that your hobbies should align with what you do most of the time to feed off each other. If you can do it healthy and once you become all absorbed in something, it's stops being healthy.
Ethan Ross [00:04:28]:
But if you can maintain a balance, then I think it's fine.
Adam Smith [00:04:33]:
We want to come back to the, we'll come back to the law enforcement deal. So two things from that conversation. So you mentioned fight club.
Ethan Ross [00:04:43]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:04:46]:
Are you a big movie quote person?
Ethan Ross [00:04:49]:
Yeah, in my head all the time.
Adam Smith [00:04:51]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:04:53]:
But the problem is I haven't seen a new movie in 10 years. So none of them are relevant or are whatever the, you know, I'm relatable.
Adam Smith [00:05:04]:
To a lot of people.
Ethan Ross [00:05:06]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Smith [00:05:09]:
Well. And in my house we're always dropping, you know, maybe quotes.
Ethan Ross [00:05:14]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:05:15]:
So and the other thing we were talking about, Well, I read that Jim Rohn quote and I know you're big into the founding fathers and. Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:05:34]:
A tattoo of George Washington. Omar.
Adam Smith [00:05:36]:
Yeah. That's something that I would really like for us to get into at some point.
Ethan Ross [00:05:41]:
But tattoos of George Washington.
Adam Smith [00:05:45]:
Stay on track here. But just the founding fathers and their routines and how similar. Not that, not comparing us to the founding fathers, but a lot of the things that they did, we do, you know, preparation.
Ethan Ross [00:06:12]:
I don't think it's bad to compare yourself because you're, you're saying you emulate these great men of history. That's okay.
Adam Smith [00:06:17]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:06:18]:
We seek to be what, what? Like self improvement. Not that we believe that we're capable of being these great men in history, but God puts us in places for a reason which lends itself to what we want to talk about today with vocation. But God puts usself in these situations. It's not overly ambitious or self gratifying or narcissistic, I think, to think that you're capable of great things because, you know, it's not coming from you. But then you also have the fallacy of the great man of history. Have you? Do you know what I'm talking about? So it's a way of looking at history instead of through events. It's through looking at people and thinking that because this person existed at this time, this happened, and the rejection of that is to say, well, it would have happened anyway just with somebody else that came along. So it's kind of a.
Ethan Ross [00:07:18]:
Not to get political, but I think it's like a more left leaning way of looking at history is to reject the people and embrace the events. Which if we are fans of the founding Fathers, clearly we kind of reject that anyway. But I cut you off to do all that, so I'm sorry. But yeah, we try to copy what they do.
Adam Smith [00:07:37]:
Yeah. Or well, not. It's not that we're trying to copy it, it's just that it's. Ironically, I was listening to something the other day and about the founding Fathers and I'm like, well, heck, that's a lot of the same things that, that we do.
Ethan Ross [00:07:53]:
Yeah, it's the podcast we, we've plugged on the show.
Adam Smith [00:07:56]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:07:56]:
The Art of Manliness.
Adam Smith [00:07:57]:
Yeah, that's right. So. But that's something I'd like to touch on at some point. Maybe, you know, we can even a.
Ethan Ross [00:08:05]:
Topic read that guy's book that he, he had on. Yeah, it was about, it was about their, their routines, their reading and it was. What was the book that he had focused on? Cicero. The Tusculan Disputations.
Adam Smith [00:08:20]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and well, the last episode, when I said that about my, my book. That's one of them.
Ethan Ross [00:08:31]:
Oh yeah, you've got it already.
Adam Smith [00:08:34]:
No. Oh no, that's one that.
Ethan Ross [00:08:36]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:08:36]:
Yeah. So. Okay, so we can come back to that at a later date.
Ethan Ross [00:08:43]:
Back to all of it, I'm sure. Yeah. We may even forget that we've talked about it and come back to it as if it's fresh and brand new.
Adam Smith [00:08:49]:
There you go. So vocation, you said.
Ethan Ross [00:08:55]:
Okay, vocation.
Adam Smith [00:08:58]:
So we discussed that in Sunday school last Sunday. Vocation.
Ethan Ross [00:09:05]:
And I don't think I'd made it there yet.
Adam Smith [00:09:09]:
Do I?
Ethan Ross [00:09:10]:
I think that was before I got in there.
Adam Smith [00:09:11]:
Really?
Ethan Ross [00:09:12]:
I was playing music still.
Adam Smith [00:09:14]:
Okay. Okay. So last Sunday morning and in Sunday school, we, we discussed vocation.
Ethan Ross [00:09:21]:
Oh, did you?
Adam Smith [00:09:22]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:09:22]:
Oh, yeah. Tell me more about that.
Adam Smith [00:09:24]:
Yeah, so just, you know, the, the biblical definition of vocation would be like your, your calling.
Ethan Ross [00:09:37]:
Okay.
Adam Smith [00:09:37]:
Not necessarily. We think of vocation and we think a job which you're calling is your job.
Ethan Ross [00:09:50]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:09:51]:
Or your job is your calling. However you want to look at it.
Ethan Ross [00:09:55]:
I. I heard this thing the other day. Somebody said the reason people ask you what you do is they want to figure out how much respect they're supposed to give you. And that it's obvious, but I hadn't thought about it like that.
Adam Smith [00:10:11]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:10:11]:
And I'm going to start just inventing things.
Adam Smith [00:10:15]:
Being dishonest.
Ethan Ross [00:10:17]:
Yeah. I thought I'd give it a try. It works for other people and maybe it'll work for me. Just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Adam Smith [00:10:28]:
So, vocation and calling.
Ethan Ross [00:10:30]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:10:33]:
Do you ever feel like you missed your calling? You were supposed to be doing something instead of what you're doing now or at some point?
Ethan Ross [00:10:49]:
Yeah, well, sort of, but also not really, because I used to feel like, well, this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. This isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. This isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. Because I've talked, you know, before about. It was on the episode of when I first felt like a man, all of the different jobs that I've had, and I've hopped around and kept thinking like, well, this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. This isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. And I finally come to the realization that I don't think I equate.
Adam Smith [00:11:32]:
Worth.
Ethan Ross [00:11:32]:
Or sense of belonging or place with your job anymore. It's what you bring to wherever you are. And for me, I can look back on my life and think, why the heck didn't I show up as a better man each day for this, maybe I would have felt like a man. Maybe I could have called myself a man. If I had realized that I could have brought my best self each day to each situation I was in. And it makes me frustrated with myself, but it also gives me hope that I can do that now, every day now. I can show up and it doesn't matter what I'm doing. You know, I just started this new company, and so this is what I'm doing now.
Ethan Ross [00:12:24]:
I don't know what God has in store for me.
Adam Smith [00:12:27]:
Well, and I think as you get older and you gain wisdom, you look back and see it that way. The way you're saying if you had done. If you had manned up. Yeah. Did I say that right? Anyway, yeah. Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:12:55]:
So wisdom, you're saying wisdom is just that, 2020 hindsight getting a little bit closer to being able to apply it to Right now.
Adam Smith [00:13:02]:
You know, I heard somebody say one time. Yeah, well, my, my mind was too late. Yeah. And if I, if, if I change the subject, I'll forget it.
Ethan Ross [00:13:12]:
Okay, go ahead.
Adam Smith [00:13:13]:
But I heard somebody say one time, wisdom is something that you get three minutes after you needed it.
Ethan Ross [00:13:21]:
Yeah. That's good.
Adam Smith [00:13:23]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:13:24]:
Well, and maybe in your 20s, it's years after you needed it.
Adam Smith [00:13:28]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:13:29]:
And that's what I was saying when you interrupted me, was maybe as you get older, the wisdom catches up to the present, to where you start to. If you really apply yourself and pray about it and seek to bring your best self to each day, you can start applying that in real time.
Adam Smith [00:13:49]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:13:49]:
And I think some people probably get that earlier than others. It doesn't necessarily have to come with age, but for me, it definitely did. It was my mid-30s before. And even what gets me is in my 20s, I was reading stuff about the founding fathers. I was trying to better myself. I don't know, maybe I'm too harsh on myself, but I don't think so. I don't think so.
Adam Smith [00:14:12]:
Well, and life causes you to mature. You know, things come up. You know, take for instance, dealing with loss. Some people may have to deal with loss at such a young age, where you have other people that they don't have. They don't, they don't deal with loss until they're much older.
Ethan Ross [00:14:40]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:14:41]:
So things like that, they, they have affect an effect on maturity.
Ethan Ross [00:14:49]:
Yeah. For me, and you know, I shared that story about, I believe I shared it about losing that child when I was performing cpr. And it affected me then, but not as much, and it affects me less emotionally now, just with, with time, you know, that, that happens. But I appreciate the things I have more now from that than I did back then, which is kind of bizarre to me because it was fresher and more in the moment. But I guess with wisdom and just the realization that when you're 20s, life lasts forever, you know, and I'm not sure when everybody else feels it, but now in my 30s, I'm realizing, oh, I may be halfway there.
Adam Smith [00:15:44]:
Wait till you get to be in your mid-50s.
Ethan Ross [00:15:51]:
Yeah, that's a good point.
Adam Smith [00:15:52]:
I know I've aged with the weight.
Ethan Ross [00:15:55]:
Loss, but anyway, you look amazing, doesn't it, guys?
Adam Smith [00:15:58]:
Whatever. Anyway, now I've just totally lost my training, so.
Ethan Ross [00:16:08]:
Oh, you go ahead.
Adam Smith [00:16:08]:
No, you go ahead.
Ethan Ross [00:16:09]:
Well, let me flip it on you. Do you ever feel like you missed your calling?
Adam Smith [00:16:15]:
Absolutely.
Ethan Ross [00:16:16]:
Okay, so we disagree on that. So.
Adam Smith [00:16:24]:
Yeah, I, I truly feel now I love what I do.
Ethan Ross [00:16:30]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:16:30]:
And I do what I do for a reason, which is sell big machines. I can't say that.
Ethan Ross [00:16:38]:
You can say you sell big machines.
Adam Smith [00:16:40]:
Yeah. Anyway, I am.
Ethan Ross [00:16:41]:
I'm not gonna say anything else. He has shushed me on camera.
Adam Smith [00:16:46]:
I enjoy what I do, but I've always felt like I should have gone into law enforcement. I have a lot of family that are in law enforcement. And when. When I was active duty, you know, I wanted to. Which I already had this plan, but aside from the plan that I already wanted to do. Yeah. I wanted to go to, like, CIA or something like that. I had an uncle that was in the FBI.
Adam Smith [00:17:27]:
And, you know, I've got family members that are, you know, highway patrol and.
Ethan Ross [00:17:33]:
Yeah, and did you do something? You're in the Coast Guard? Air Force. Sorry.
Adam Smith [00:17:43]:
Now I'll say I've got buddies that were in the Coast Guard. And that was.
Ethan Ross [00:17:53]:
It would be cool.
Adam Smith [00:17:54]:
Pretty. Yeah, yeah. From. From the stories I've told, I. I've been told.
Ethan Ross [00:17:59]:
You've told their stories as your own.
Adam Smith [00:18:02]:
That I've been told.
Ethan Ross [00:18:03]:
Sounds about right.
Adam Smith [00:18:06]:
But it was.
Ethan Ross [00:18:07]:
It would be cool, but I think.
Adam Smith [00:18:09]:
It'D be a cool job.
Ethan Ross [00:18:09]:
You're supposed to crap on them. Yeah, we're supposed to.
Adam Smith [00:18:13]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:18:14]:
Like Air Force chair force. So what. What did you do in the Air Force? Is it classified?
Adam Smith [00:18:25]:
One of my jobs was. I was just. I say just. I was a machinist. I made aircraft parts.
Ethan Ross [00:18:36]:
Okay.
Adam Smith [00:18:37]:
Yep.
Ethan Ross [00:18:38]:
Okay.
Adam Smith [00:18:38]:
So. But, you know, that's one of your jobs. We all had other responsibilities. So anyway, like, I mean, you had.
Ethan Ross [00:18:47]:
To go eat steak every day. You had to get up early enough to do your hair. Yeah, in the Air Force.
Adam Smith [00:18:53]:
Exactly.
Ethan Ross [00:18:54]:
You tested all the chairs out to make sure that they worked properly. And then you had to do all this before you got off at 2 o' clock in the afternoon.
Adam Smith [00:19:02]:
Now, you said that about each steak.
Ethan Ross [00:19:05]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:19:07]:
Now, I was stationed at Aberdeen, Maryland. The army proving grounds.
Ethan Ross [00:19:16]:
Yeah. Without the Air Force cooks.
Adam Smith [00:19:18]:
I went into the enlisted chow hall.
Ethan Ross [00:19:23]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:19:23]:
Once I went in. You. You never said went in, but you were enlisted. Exactly. And we. We were in the officer's barracks and we. We ate at the officer's chow hall. But now, let me.
Adam Smith [00:19:42]:
Let me just tell you or ask you. So, yeah, you like to eat. You like to eat. Well, correct.
Ethan Ross [00:19:50]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:19:50]:
Okay, but what's wrong with that?
Ethan Ross [00:19:52]:
Well, you know, in the service of your country, you can make some sacrifices. You know, food is fuel, Adam.
Adam Smith [00:19:59]:
Exactly.
Ethan Ross [00:20:00]:
When I was.
Adam Smith [00:20:01]:
The more food you get, the more fuel.
Ethan Ross [00:20:04]:
I will tell you There was one time when I was in Korea that we had an air force detachment come up from. Was it Osan? Is the air force base there? Come up from Osan.
Adam Smith [00:20:15]:
Well, there's Osan and Kunsan.
Ethan Ross [00:20:17]:
It was Osan, which we. We used to go to Osan on leave to just go visit the air force base because it was so nice. But we had, excuse me, here in the air force detachment come up to do this big, you know, combined arms, whatever. You know, when four stars come up, they just like to do special stuff to make them happy, make everybody feel better about themselves. Freaking joke. Anyway, we had this four star coming up, so we were doing this big combined arms. That's a four star general, by the way, for anybody. So we got this barracks and we cleaned it, we repainted everything, put new beds in, all this stuff.
Ethan Ross [00:21:06]:
And the air force detachment gets there and walks in, walks right back out and says it's not up to their standard of living. And booked rooms at the hotel on base. That was for like dignitaries. Okay, all right, cool. That's fine. I was a little salty about that until I went into our. Our defect one day, which is dining facility. And we had lobster because apparently I didn't want to eat our food either.
Ethan Ross [00:21:33]:
So they brought their own cooks. And dude, for 30 days, I've never eaten that good in civilian life. So I do probably just talk crap because I'm a little jealous.
Adam Smith [00:21:46]:
Yeah, we could. We could go to the chow hall four times a day and my gosh, it was a. It was a spread. So you said dignitaries. That one of my additional responsibilities was I escorted dignitaries.
Ethan Ross [00:22:06]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:22:06]:
When they would come on base, one.
Ethan Ross [00:22:08]:
Of my responsibilities was to shoot tank. Make sure tanks shoot good hit target. That was a tank gunner. No. And I guess we did have some additional duties, but it was pretty much just focused on shoot tank. Good.
Adam Smith [00:22:26]:
So let's come back to the law enforcement thing. Oh, you don't want to hear about it. No, I want to go further with. With. With what you're saying.
Ethan Ross [00:22:37]:
Okay.
Adam Smith [00:22:42]:
Do you ever feel less important now than you did when you were active duty?
Ethan Ross [00:22:57]:
Yeah, well, I think I used to. And I think sort of like I said, where I've kind of realized, like, my calling is just wherever God's got me at that moment. That's what helps me to accept it and be okay with it. You know what I mean? But I think I used to. There used to be. We used to have the brotherhood, right. The guys you served with, you could literally despise each other and you'd take a bullet for them any day. And that doesn't exist.
Adam Smith [00:23:31]:
No. Well, and since we're, we're on this, this whole topic, so. And a lot of, well, civilians don't, don't realize how things are in the military. I don't know about now, but how.
Ethan Ross [00:23:47]:
They were when I was in, which was Vietnam era.
Adam Smith [00:23:53]:
So if in, on base, that was the most secure place that you could be. You didn't, you didn't lock your houses in base housing. You know, you didn't, you didn't lock your vehicle.
Ethan Ross [00:24:11]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:24:12]:
Even if you were, you know, at the BX or whatever because it was a safe environment. Yeah. Kids could play. You didn't worry about them because everybody took care of each other. And something else that you said made me think that brotherhood, trying to explain that to somebody that's never been there is like trying to explain to someone what it's like to love a child that has never had a child of their own.
Ethan Ross [00:24:54]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:24:55]:
But that brotherhood, no matter whether the other person was male, female, black, white, it none of that mattered because to that person your life meant as much as their own. And that's, that's what that brotherhood.
Ethan Ross [00:25:22]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:25:22]:
Was about.
Ethan Ross [00:25:24]:
Well, and it exists just inherently, but also when you go through stuff together and I never saw combat, so I don't, I'm not professing to go through that, but. For instance, there was one time.
Adam Smith [00:25:39]:
And.
Ethan Ross [00:25:41]:
Had to be like the 12th or 13th week of our training, the one station unit training. I had a buddy named Break Bill from Maryland and he and I were doing push ups together with the whole platoon was doing push ups. He and I were right next to each other and we were, we were pretty, pretty much in shape. We maxed out our push ups and stuff like that on the PT test. But once you do a few hundred, you're, you're smoked anyway, you're gassed. So we're sitting there doing push ups and we'd gotten sent back to red face for something, some, you know, something stupid.
Adam Smith [00:26:18]:
And.
Ethan Ross [00:26:21]:
We were, it was probably an hour in to getting smoked and we just looked at each other and just died laughing. In, in the push up position, which was called the front leaning rest.
Adam Smith [00:26:33]:
We just pushing the earth away.
Ethan Ross [00:26:35]:
Yeah, we just started laughing. We just broke in that moment. I guess it was just like, this is hilarious. This is hilarious. I've never been in so much physical pain. This is excruciating. This is hilarious. And the drill sergeant came over because he heard us and he saw us and I guess he Realized what had happened.
Ethan Ross [00:26:54]:
He just kind of chuckled and walked away. And so he and I, he and I were already good friends after that, but after that it was like, it was something a little different, you know. And now, of course, then we got in trouble a couple times together in Korea, which we. I'm not gonna.
Adam Smith [00:27:12]:
Yep.
Ethan Ross [00:27:13]:
I'm not gonna go into that at.
Adam Smith [00:27:14]:
All, you know, And I've got a lot of buddies. Well, I've got, I've got one that I was stationed with that he and I are still close. But a lot of those guys, I would like to reconnect with them.
Ethan Ross [00:27:30]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:27:30]:
But I've just, I've never done it. But isn't it funny how you can take, for instance, you walk in the gym and you just know, you know, and you can, you can tell other prior military and you know, generally it's just the, the nod, you know, if.
Ethan Ross [00:27:59]:
You'Re gonna talk to him. What do you say? Because I've got something that I just say every time and it's not nice. Not every, like, hey, how's it going, man? Good to see you today. I just walked in and go, what branch?
Adam Smith [00:28:11]:
Oh, yeah. And funny thing a lot.
Ethan Ross [00:28:14]:
But not like accusatory like that. Yeah, that was. That's not how I do it.
Adam Smith [00:28:18]:
Yeah. And it's funny, a lot of times you could tell when we were active duty. You could tell.
Ethan Ross [00:28:22]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:28:23]:
Because even, you know, being on the army proving grounds, you know, we had different haircuts. So. And then, so I left there and went back to an air force base and people were like, your hair with you, man.
Ethan Ross [00:28:44]:
Do you guys call each other bro a lot or do you have to actually call each other. You had like official ranked titles. I figured you just called your sergeant's bro or whatever.
Adam Smith [00:28:57]:
Negative. Well, and everybody was referred to by either a nickname or your just your last name.
Ethan Ross [00:29:05]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:29:05]:
Or, you know, do you guys have.
Ethan Ross [00:29:08]:
Nicknames like Iceman and Maverick? I know it's Navy, but.
Adam Smith [00:29:14]:
Yeah, negative.
Ethan Ross [00:29:15]:
No, negative.
Adam Smith [00:29:17]:
Ghost Rider. Yeah. Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:29:18]:
You know, we talked about the brotherhood when I left the army and when I went into law enforcement, like I said, because I needed a job because I was going to go back to school and my grandfather had been chief of police and I thought, well, that's probably a pretty good job. It's stable. And I was hoping like there would be another brotherhood to join. And this is gonna get me in some hot water. That's okay. That's what we're here for, right? Hot takes to a certain extent. There is. It is A brotherhood.
Ethan Ross [00:29:55]:
There's that thin, blue lawn mentality of, you know, we're putting our lives on the lawns for citizens, just like other first responders. But it was not the same. And I think it's not the same for a few reasons. One is you're interacting with the public and in the military, you're not. You're just with each other. I mean, your whole job as a. As a. As a cop is to be there talking to the public.
Ethan Ross [00:30:30]:
Standards aren't held strenuously for. Well, for haircuts it was. I get. But not as much.
Adam Smith [00:30:38]:
But.
Ethan Ross [00:30:41]:
Physical fitness, once you graduate from the academy, it's not a thing anymore, which I think there should be. If you. If you call emergency services, you hope someone can show up that is capable of saving your life.
Adam Smith [00:30:59]:
I gotta agree with you there.
Ethan Ross [00:31:03]:
And I had never. Well, yeah, I had never really served in the military alongside women, which was a shock for me. So going into law enforcement and working alongside women, and there were some female cops that were perfectly capable of doing what they had to do. And then there were some that were. Were not. So that was kind of a shock. And the reason everybody was there in the military is a lot different. But you're all kind of the same too, whether you're there because you wanted to go to college, whether you're there because you were broke.
Adam Smith [00:31:42]:
That just. You. Okay, I knew.
Ethan Ross [00:31:48]:
Did somebody spike your bang Energy drink?
Adam Smith [00:31:54]:
No, I just. I knew a lot of people that that was the only reason they enlisted was to get free college. And that just. That just tore me up.
Ethan Ross [00:32:08]:
See, it never bothered me.
Adam Smith [00:32:10]:
Yeah. Say.
Ethan Ross [00:32:11]:
Because it's not free anyway. They're. You had to pay for it. They took money out of your check every. Every paycheck for a year to pay for the GI Bill. Did you know that?
Adam Smith [00:32:23]:
I'm just saying. No, I didn't. I didn't know that. But why did it bother you that. That. Because that wasn't my reason for enlisting.
Ethan Ross [00:32:30]:
It doesn't have to be. Okay, but you don't have to force it on everybody else.
Adam Smith [00:32:37]:
Yeah, it is. In my opinion. It's.
Ethan Ross [00:32:43]:
Do you have mice in here?
Adam Smith [00:32:45]:
Evidently so.
Ethan Ross [00:32:48]:
Now welcome to the final episode of. Wait a minute. See, it never bothered me because. What? And I don't know, maybe it was the job I was in, but it was obvious that everybody was there, even if for different reasons. They were there to do their job, and it was obviously ones that weren't, but I don't know. It never bothered me.
Adam Smith [00:33:17]:
So when things first kicked off in Iraq.
Ethan Ross [00:33:24]:
What years were you in?
Adam Smith [00:33:26]:
All joking aside, 90 to. I got off active duty in 94.
Ethan Ross [00:33:32]:
Did you. Did you do reserves or air Guard or something?
Adam Smith [00:33:37]:
Yes. Yeah. So back to my. Back to where I was going.
Ethan Ross [00:33:46]:
Go ahead.
Adam Smith [00:33:47]:
So when things first kicked off, they were sending. Sending different squadrons out and, you know, you know, deploying. And I'll never forget, there was one guy, I want to say, he was in armament shop or. Anyway, and we were 18s and.
Ethan Ross [00:34:15]:
Oh, that's cool.
Adam Smith [00:34:16]:
Yeah, he. We were the Flying Tigers.
Ethan Ross [00:34:19]:
Yeah, that's cool.
Adam Smith [00:34:20]:
With the teeth. Yeah, but.
Ethan Ross [00:34:22]:
But the Warthogs. Yeah, those are cool.
Adam Smith [00:34:25]:
The. This guy said. I mean, his unit was. Was shipping out and he said, I can't go. It's against my religion to take up arms against another man. And I'm like, then why are you here exactly? For free College.
Ethan Ross [00:34:44]:
Was he. Or he was scared.
Adam Smith [00:34:47]:
Well.
Ethan Ross [00:34:50]:
And it's okay to be scared, but your actions after feeling the emotion of fear is what really defines you.
Adam Smith [00:34:57]:
Yeah, well, and not only have mice have bugs too, but, you know, that's the whole. The whole point of signing that blank check.
Ethan Ross [00:35:09]:
I agree. But, you know, everybody's different, man. There is an objective truth, though, you know, in alignment with.
Adam Smith [00:35:18]:
And it's funny you went there.
Ethan Ross [00:35:20]:
Oh, boy.
Adam Smith [00:35:21]:
Because in the book that we're reading, he addresses that in Men, the first chapter in Men Without Chess, he. He addresses that.
Ethan Ross [00:35:31]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:35:33]:
Being willing to fight for your country and give your life for your country.
Ethan Ross [00:35:39]:
Yeah, it's a good book. Everybody should read it.
Adam Smith [00:35:42]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:35:43]:
Abolition of man by C.S.
Adam Smith [00:35:44]:
Lewis.
Ethan Ross [00:35:45]:
Join us next week for chapter two.
Adam Smith [00:35:48]:
So.
Ethan Ross [00:35:48]:
So you wanted to be law enforcement?
Adam Smith [00:35:51]:
Yeah, I did. And, you know, I asked that about you ever feel less important? It's not that I feel less important because again, I love what I do, but, I don't know, it was something about that purpose then. And I feel like in the military you feel this more of a sense of.
Ethan Ross [00:36:24]:
Of purpose, a higher calling.
Adam Smith [00:36:27]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:36:28]:
Yeah, I felt like that for a little bit in law enforcement, and I was just a city cop, just a patrolman. I felt like that for a little bit, and then it. It started to go downhill. Just my own personal experience, and if we have any law enforcement listeners, I'm not saying that this is your experience, but where I was at, we had some issues. It was more focused on optics a lot of time than it was doing your job. It was more focused on. I don't know. I don't.
Ethan Ross [00:37:11]:
And maybe. Maybe I'm just. I'm just kind of Soiled on law enforcement in general. But I just felt like I had started just abridging people's constitutional freedoms on a daily basis, and I didn't like it anymore. There was one time that really, really. And it still bugs me to this day, There was a veteran, a combat veteran we found in a parking lot. And he was in his car or in his sister's car or something. And he was.
Ethan Ross [00:37:38]:
He was drunk. He was really drunk. Not driving, laying in the back seat. The keys may have been in the front, I don't know. But just laying in the back seat and needed help. He was in a. He was in a dark place. And I mentioned his sister.
Ethan Ross [00:37:58]:
And this has been 15 years ago. No, 10 years ago. Something. I don't remember details, but needed help. And I had a sergeant at the time. That, and looking back, I'm taking responsibility, and I'll get to that. Ordered me to arrest that guy for public intoxication, and I said no. And he kept up with it.
Ethan Ross [00:38:25]:
And I felt like I was gonna get in trouble, so I did it. And talk about men without chests. Boy, that makes me feel like I had no chest. Because I should have told that sergeant exactly what I thought about him and where he could go. And I did. I listened to him. I didn't stand up for what I knew was right. And I arrested that poor vet for public intoxication for being.
Ethan Ross [00:38:50]:
It bugs me. They ended up dropping the charges because what court is ever going to convict that? And thankfully, the.
Adam Smith [00:38:58]:
The d. A.
Ethan Ross [00:39:00]:
Decided to not even go for a settlement. She just, you know, just let him go. And as far as I know, he still works for the force, that sergeant, and just. I got sick of it. I used to get written up for not pulling over enough cars, not. Not hitting my. We didn't have quotas for tickets, so it wasn't like. It wasn't a money generator, but it was one to pull people over.
Ethan Ross [00:39:29]:
We had a traffic division. It's like, nah, I'll leave myself open for calls. So all that kind of spoiled me on law enforcement. And I really did feel like, because people are there for different reasons, like the military, some people were there to help other people. Some people were there because they had a long line of law enforcement coming before them. And some people were there because they liked to be in power and they wanted to tell people what to do. And not to get into my politics, But I wasn't interested in messing with people that weren't hurting other people. You know, if somebody is minding their own business, and it's just.
Ethan Ross [00:40:10]:
It just happens to be offensive to you. I'm sorry. I'm gonna let them go. And just seeing abuses of power and it just. It got to me.
Adam Smith [00:40:24]:
Well, and I think you. You can see the. That same thing in so many different, well, jobs, vocations.
Ethan Ross [00:40:37]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:40:41]:
Some people do what they do because they care.
Ethan Ross [00:40:46]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:40:47]:
You know, take, for instance, other first responders. Yeah. You know, some do it because they care. They want to help people. They want to make a difference.
Ethan Ross [00:40:57]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:40:58]:
Some people do it for a paycheck. I mean. Yeah. If. I mean, we don't do what we do for free.
Ethan Ross [00:41:07]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:41:08]:
But to some people, it's not about the doing. For someone else, it's. It's all about the paycheck. Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:41:19]:
Well, and that's why I started, was for the paycheck. But quickly I realized I really enjoyed helping other people. And I would. I enjoyed the calls that everybody else hated, like the domestics. We used to have domestic assaults all the time because unfortunately, it's super common. But everybody hated those because. Well, for one, you. If there's any physical assault, you have to arrest somebody, which sometimes people didn't need to be arrested.
Ethan Ross [00:41:52]:
And it's. I'm not saying that, like, if you beat your wife or husband, you don't need to go to jail. Sometimes it would be ambiguous, but the law would say that we had to take somebody, and that's kind of. That's kind of screwed up. But I liked those calls where I could help people the most. And. Yeah, I don't know, man.
Adam Smith [00:42:16]:
I think with me, it's more about making a difference. You know, I see. Well, I see a lot of law enforcement that make a difference.
Ethan Ross [00:42:37]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:42:38]:
You know, they. They do what they do because they love the people and they do a great job at it. They do it with heart.
Ethan Ross [00:42:49]:
Yeah, there are a lot of those out there.
Adam Smith [00:42:52]:
Yeah. And. But you see some that don't.
Ethan Ross [00:42:58]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:42:58]:
And it just. Yeah, it's. Yeah. And it makes me want to make a difference.
Ethan Ross [00:43:11]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:43:12]:
And I think. Well, you know, I think. Well, also. And I'm going a different direction, but I've also thought for years about possibly going into politics, because I know there's a lot of corruption, but you want to make a difference.
Ethan Ross [00:43:38]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:43:38]:
You know, you want to. You want to change things.
Ethan Ross [00:43:43]:
Before we go into that, let me just say I wanted to give a shout out this week. A guy, a cop that I used to work with passed away. He was maybe in his 40s, 50s, I guess. I knew he was in his 40s when I knew him 10 years ago. So he's in his 50s now, I guess. Or he was. Him and his family were down at the beach about a month ago, and his youngest son got carried out with a riptide, and he swam out to save him. Saved him.
Ethan Ross [00:44:19]:
As far as I know that. I think I've got my facts right. He saved him, and on his way back, he drowned. The dad drowned and either had a heart attack and drowned or the drowning caused a heart attack. His oldest son swam out to save him. Everybody made it back in, but I believe I'm getting my story. But he's been in a coma ever since. They.
Ethan Ross [00:44:42]:
They resuscitated him, but he's been in a coma ever since then. And he just passed away last week. Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:44:49]:
I'm sorry to hear that.
Ethan Ross [00:44:50]:
Yeah, he was a. His name was Chuck Teeters, and he was a great guy. He was a pleasure to serve alongside. And he'll be sorely missed. But I was telling one of my buddies who's still in law enforcement, not with that agency anymore, it's never a good thing to leave your family behind, but you died actively doing your duty as a father. You saved your son's life, but not only did you do that, you left your legacy by raising another son that saved yours. Temporarily at least, but was capable of it. And, man, if I could go out like that.
Ethan Ross [00:45:48]:
Not that I would choose to leave my family behind, but that's a man.
Adam Smith [00:45:54]:
Yeah. And he was a. A Hebrew. And more than one wife.
Ethan Ross [00:46:02]:
Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, I didn't mean to.
Adam Smith [00:46:09]:
No, no, no, that's. That's good.
Ethan Ross [00:46:11]:
He deserves a shout out, for sure.
Adam Smith [00:46:12]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:46:13]:
So you've thought about politics.
Adam Smith [00:46:15]:
Yep. Because I want to make a difference.
Ethan Ross [00:46:20]:
Yeah. Yeah. What's holding you back?
Adam Smith [00:46:29]:
I can tell you exactly what's holding me back.
Ethan Ross [00:46:31]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:46:35]:
Something that you and my wife have in common. Y' all can. I mean, my wife can come back with a response like that.
Ethan Ross [00:46:48]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:46:49]:
Me, I'm. That. Is that grenade response, you know? No, no. You pull the pen, you throw it, and then it goes off.
Ethan Ross [00:47:00]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:47:00]:
And with me, I'll think of a really good comeback, either like 20 minutes later or once the conversation has gone a different direction or the next day. Oh, I should have said this.
Ethan Ross [00:47:16]:
I do my. In the showers where my best comebacks come to my brain. I'm like, oh, man, I really would have got him if I'd said that.
Adam Smith [00:47:25]:
Yeah. But, yeah, that's.
Ethan Ross [00:47:27]:
That's your biggest thing, holding you back from being A politician is debate. Oh, yeah, I could see. Yeah, yeah.
Adam Smith [00:47:36]:
Public speaking.
Ethan Ross [00:47:39]:
Don't mind.
Adam Smith [00:47:39]:
No, but it's the. I would think it would be the.
Ethan Ross [00:47:44]:
Debate, so mine would be the skeletons in my closet, I think. Not that I'm never killed anybody, but I just. I've done things I'm not proud of and I don't want anybody to ever know about them.
Adam Smith [00:48:00]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:48:01]:
And when you run for office, people just bring stuff up just to get themselves famous. And, you know, I'm. No, I don't need that.
Adam Smith [00:48:12]:
Yeah, that's true.
Ethan Ross [00:48:14]:
So. But well, that's.
Adam Smith [00:48:17]:
That's a.
Ethan Ross [00:48:17]:
That's a. That's a noble goal, politics. And you know what? Maybe you can be like, I don't know, mayor of a small town or something, you know, I could see. Hold on. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Adam Smith [00:48:32]:
Small town mayor.
Ethan Ross [00:48:33]:
A small. You got small town mayor written all over you, buddy.
Adam Smith [00:48:37]:
Like the mayor on Andy Griffith.
Ethan Ross [00:48:39]:
I'm not, as the kids would say, throwing shade at any small town mayors listening. Do you think we have any small town mayors that are listening?
Adam Smith [00:48:48]:
I'm still. You still think about Danny Griffin, the throwing shade?
Ethan Ross [00:48:53]:
Oh, it means, like, casting aspersions upon. Talk crap. Talking crap about. Okay, yeah, throwing shade.
Adam Smith [00:49:02]:
Yeah. See, I don't have any. We don't have any teenagers at home anymore, so. Yeah, you know, I hear. I hear these things and I'm like, huh.
Ethan Ross [00:49:14]:
I'm not sure where that phrase comes from. Maybe it's like, maybe you're blocking the good light that shines upon someone by saying. Saying negative things.
Adam Smith [00:49:21]:
Yeah, say that. That makes more sense to me.
Ethan Ross [00:49:25]:
Thank you, buddy. Yeah, but casting a. I'm gonna start saying that. Not to try to cast a shadow upon anyone, which. That's already a saying, isn't it?
Adam Smith [00:49:34]:
Huh?
Ethan Ross [00:49:35]:
Boy, we brought it back. This is a show for teenagers and fully grown adults alike.
Adam Smith [00:49:44]:
And I heard somebody say the other day, numerous times, busing aon like that.
Ethan Ross [00:49:54]:
I think he knows what that means. What does that mean? I. I couldn't tell you when something's really, really good. Oh, it's good. Busing.
Adam Smith [00:50:02]:
I don't like it.
Ethan Ross [00:50:04]:
I'll never use that. I don't like that at all.
Adam Smith [00:50:06]:
The tongue. I don't.
Ethan Ross [00:50:07]:
No, doesn't. I don't like it. Doesn't roll off the tongue at all. That's gross. Sorry. Teenagers. Keep listening. So you feel like you missed your calling.
Ethan Ross [00:50:23]:
Okay, what are you gonna do about it? Because, I mean, that's what. That's what this is about, right? This whole show is about.
Adam Smith [00:50:32]:
Well, I Didn't know it was about putting me on the spot to see.
Ethan Ross [00:50:39]:
So, Adam, what do you plan to do about this? I mean, how. How do you take that and move forward? Because you're not going to do law enforcement now, probably, right?
Adam Smith [00:50:48]:
No, you're not.
Ethan Ross [00:50:49]:
You may not go into politics.
Adam Smith [00:50:51]:
No.
Ethan Ross [00:50:51]:
Okay, then clearly you didn't miss what God had planned for you, because you're.
Adam Smith [00:50:55]:
Not doing it well. And. And, you know, it's just like the military. I mean, there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss it. Well, I say that a little bit less now.
Ethan Ross [00:51:07]:
There's plenty of days that go by that I don't miss it, but for.
Adam Smith [00:51:10]:
The longest time, I did. I missed it daily, but I didn't stay active duty.
Ethan Ross [00:51:21]:
Yeah.
Adam Smith [00:51:23]:
Which, I mean, there were reasons that I didn't. I loved it, and I had all intentions of being a lifer, but.
Ethan Ross [00:51:35]:
Things happen.
Adam Smith [00:51:35]:
There were things that happened that I was like, yeah, and my first sergeant and wing commander came down and they were like, wait a minute, you're not reenlisting? I said, no. Anyway, I don't even want to go there as far as, you know, the things that were going on at the time, Future episode. But possibly. Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:52:04]:
Yeah. Well, okay, but. So you didn't answer the question, though.
Adam Smith [00:52:11]:
Yeah, I know. I dodged it, didn't I?
Ethan Ross [00:52:12]:
Yeah. But now I'm gonna ask again. If you feel like you missed your calling, what are you gonna do about it? You're gonna reframe it in your mind? You're gonna do something else with your life? You're gonna.
Adam Smith [00:52:25]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:52:26]:
What are you gonna do?
Adam Smith [00:52:27]:
I'll have to reframe it in my mind. I'll have to. Well, obviously, kind of like what you said. I didn't miss my calling because right now I'm doing what God intends for me to be doing. So I didn't miss my calling, but I just feel that way sometimes. So I need to get past that.
Ethan Ross [00:52:52]:
Well, I think. I mean, the fact that you admit it is pretty powerful. You know, we talked about manifesting things on a previous episode. Just. Just sometimes saying these things out loud can. It can change a lot. And I agree that. That I.
Ethan Ross [00:53:10]:
I get caught up in my own head sometimes about stuff and perspective we've talked about recently. You've got to gain new perspective, and reading can help you get a new perspective. But no, God's got you where he does for a reason. We're doing this show trying to help other men.
Adam Smith [00:53:26]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:53:26]:
If you had gone into law enforcement you might have gotten killed in the line of duty. You might have. It might have taken you somewhere else. We might have never met.
Adam Smith [00:53:33]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:53:33]:
And you've helped me personally a lot in my life just. Just being friends with you, so.
Adam Smith [00:53:43]:
Yeah, and you made a good point. If I had. Well, let's just say I went to the CIA or. Or whatever. I mean, I'm sorry. I said chasing born. I meant civil service.
Ethan Ross [00:54:01]:
No, no.
Adam Smith [00:54:03]:
CIA.
Ethan Ross [00:54:05]:
Secret Service.
Adam Smith [00:54:05]:
Secret Service, yes. It's. It's early.
Ethan Ross [00:54:08]:
Tough getting old.
Adam Smith [00:54:09]:
Yeah, this is.
Ethan Ross [00:54:12]:
He failed the test. Yeah, he tried. He didn't make it.
Adam Smith [00:54:17]:
Anyway, you know, there's. There's no telling where I might be now or if I stayed active duty until retirement. You know, I may. I mean, it's possible I might not live anywhere near here.
Ethan Ross [00:54:35]:
Well, and think about what's happened to your family. And Kim may not have ever known you.
Adam Smith [00:54:43]:
That's right.
Ethan Ross [00:54:44]:
You may not have been there for her when, I mean.
Adam Smith [00:54:48]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:54:48]:
She needed you most.
Adam Smith [00:54:49]:
Yep. That's right.
Ethan Ross [00:54:51]:
So you didn't miss your calling. You just had the wrong idea of what it was.
Adam Smith [00:54:55]:
Yeah. I like the way you put that.
Ethan Ross [00:54:58]:
Thanks, man.
Adam Smith [00:54:58]:
Yeah.
Ethan Ross [00:54:59]:
Did we put a bow on it?
Adam Smith [00:55:00]:
I believe so.
Ethan Ross [00:55:01]:
Awesome. Well, it's been a good episode. I've enjoyed talking about it. I didn't cry completely. Just little. A little like that. I didn't have to go to the bathroom. Anyway, I'm Ethan.
Adam Smith [00:55:13]:
I'm Adam.
Ethan Ross [00:55:14]:
Thanks for watching Way to Manhood. Catch you guys next week.
Adam Smith [00:55:17]:
Take care.