How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

Happy New Year! In our season break we brought the team together to talk about divorce in the movies. From hyper-stylized to hyper-real, how well do filmmakers capture divorce? Producer Andy Nelson joins Pete and Seth as we build our divorce movie watchlist.

Show Notes

Happy New Year! In our season break we brought the team together to talk about divorce in the movies. From hyper-stylized to hyper-real, how well do filmmakers capture divorce? Producer Andy Nelson joins Pete and Seth as we build our divorce movie watchlist.

Seth

Pete

Andy

  • (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
  • (00:26) - Holiday Bonus: Divorce On Film
  • (02:55) - Round One
  • (07:51) - Dropping the Bomb
  • (09:19) - Round Two
  • (14:22) - Round Three
  • (21:03) - Round Four
  • (27:23) - Bonus Round
  • (31:12) - Wrapping Up

Creators and Guests

Host
Pete Wright
Podcaster and co-host, Pete Wright brings years of marriage and a spirit of curiosity to the divorce process. He's spent the last two decades interviewing experts and thinkers in emotional healing and brings that with him to the law, divorce, and saving relationships in the process.
Host
Seth R. Nelson
Seth Nelson is the founding attorney and managing partner at NLG Divorce & Family Law. He is a Tampa-based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems.
Producer
Andy Nelson
Hailing from nearly 25 years in the world of film, television, and commercial production, Andy has always had a passion for storytelling, no matter the size of the package.

What is How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships?

Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. In How to Split a Toaster, Nelson and co-host Pete Wright take on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving your most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself.

Pete Wright:

Welcome everybody to How to Split a Toaster, a divorce podcast about saving your relationships from True Story FM. Today, you know your toaster likes movies too.

Seth Nelson:

Welcome to the show, everyone. I'm Seth Nelson, and we have our holiday bonus. Pete, Andy, tell them what's going on.

Pete Wright:

The lawyer just threw the ball. Okay. Look. Last year, we did this thing where we had a great time, talking about movies over the holidays, the best representations or depictions of the law in movies, looking at just the kinds of liberties that movies take with the law and what gets it, what what movies get it well and and what movies could use some work. And so we decided to come back and do another fantastical exploration of moviedom as related to the things we talk about this show.

Pete Wright:

And today, it's all about divorce on film. And so I am here with my movies, and Seth is here presumably with his movies. And our able, producer, Andy Nelson, about whom we speak often on the show but never allowed to speak on the show, is back with us to bring his movies, Andy, high.

Andy Nelson:

Hello. Hello. Glad to be here and looking forward to, talking through these movies lists with you too.

Seth Nelson:

And Andy is the little brother I always wish I had. It's like, no relation.

Andy Nelson:

He even made me change my last I, I get very

Pete Wright:

excited about this, but in in

Seth Nelson:

particular, last time, like, I I feel like Andy and I were on

Pete Wright:

team ignorant. Like, we just we pick movies that kind of make the law fun. And so

Andy Nelson:

I don't know. Miracle on 34th Street, I think that was fine depiction of the way your law really works.

Pete Wright:

Yes. That and that's exactly what I'm talking about. Andy and I live in fantasy land, and Seth had all of the chips, of talking about blah. This time, I feel woefully underequipped because I my parents have not didn't go through divorce when I was child, and I have not been through divorce myself personally. So everything I, I see in the movies is, I'm sure, true.

Pete Wright:

And both of you have divorce in in your your baggage. Our world somewhere.

Seth Nelson:

So but here's the good news, Pete. I think next year for the holiday bonus, we do movies about podcasts, and we can see how many we have. And I feel like you and Andy will have all the chips because all the amazing stuff you guys do at True Story FM. So can't move. I mean, for We might be arguing over one movie.

Seth Nelson:

But

Pete Wright:

I can't wait for that, for that movie. I, who should we do it? I don't remember how we did it last year. Did we draw straws? Did we, Roshambo?

Pete Wright:

Who goes first?

Seth Nelson:

I think I think we let Andy go first. He never gets to talk. He's always behind the scenes. You know? That's good.

Pete Wright:

Let's see.

Andy Nelson:

I like that. I I like this. I like this, the plan. Alright. So to kick things off, I'm gonna go with a, a divorce film.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. I mean, as as you've said, I am from a a a divorced family, and my, parents got divorced when I was young. My dad's been remarried several other times since. And so, you know, seeing divorced families on film sometimes is an interesting experience to see, you know, how how real they feel. And if there's one film that kind of had an interesting sense of, like, wow, I I I sense a lot of the realities from my own life in kind of this story.

Andy Nelson:

It was Noah Baumbach's film from 2005, The Squid and the Whale, and it follows, 2 parents and their kids as the parents go through a big divorce. And, really, it's a lot of it is about the kids, notably the older kid played by Jesse Eisenberg as he kind of comes to terms with his relationship with his, with his father. So, it's a it's a, you know, I mean, films about divorce, you know. They're not always fun films to watch. This is one of those.

Andy Nelson:

It's, it's a little tough. But, yeah, it was a for me, it was a bit of a punch in the gut. I really, found it to be a powerful one. So that's my first pick, the squid and the whale.

Pete Wright:

Seth, what is what have you seen squid and the whale?

Seth Nelson:

I have not, and it's not on my list. God. It's not a steal for me.

Pete Wright:

It it is not a steal for me either, though. It it was close. It's a it It's a bad I don't like divorce movies. That's my problem. I generally don't like divorce movies, so there's gotta be something else.

Seth Nelson:

You guys are watching the wrong movies. That's

Pete Wright:

Well, that's why I'm gonna I'm gonna, open with my, pick, which, I feel like is for many years defined what divorce was actually like for me in my youth. The movie came out in 1989. So I was, at an older teenager when this came out in theater, saw it in theaters. Remember it very well. It's full of people.

Pete Wright:

I like very much. I'm talking about the trio of, Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito in war of the roses. If there

Seth Nelson:

On my list.

Pete Wright:

There you go. If divorce doesn't get physical at some point, it didn't happen.

Andy Nelson:

That's right.

Pete Wright:

That's what this movie taught me.

Seth Nelson:

Well, taking all joking because we don't joke about domestic violence. No. But War of the Roses is a classic divorce movie in all the craziness and how it just spirals out of control. Right?

Pete Wright:

Right. It is I mean, the the peak when they end on the chandelier together.

Seth Nelson:

I know. That's like

Pete Wright:

that that's I mean, that's because you're right. We don't joke about divest I don't see this as domestic violence necessarily. This is like domestic warfare. And I I think there's a dis there's a distinct difference between

Andy Nelson:

It's in the title.

Pete Wright:

It's in the title. It's in the title.

Seth Nelson:

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So my first one is goes under the category of you can't make this shit up. Okay?

Seth Nelson:

And that's how I feel a lot of my days are. But it is with Meryl Streep or Streep, excuse me, and Alec Baldwin who reunite after 10 years, and it's complicated.

Pete Wright:

Yep. That was on my list. Because

Seth Nelson:

that oh, there you go. That happens. Right? Those hiccups. Explain it.

Seth Nelson:

Explain it to me.

Pete Wright:

It's been a long time since I've seen it, but the way I understand it is, Alec Baldwin recently or he divorces okay. It's it's between my Alec Baldwin, Lake Bell, Meryl Streep, and I think it's just I think and one other person I remember who Fortis

Seth Nelson:

is. Martin?

Andy Nelson:

I wanna say Steve Martin, but I

Pete Wright:

Was it Steve Martin? So he, Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep are dating, but

Seth Nelson:

They got divorced.

Pete Wright:

Oh, they got

Seth Nelson:

divorced. Divorced 10 years ago. Now is just like at graduation. Yeah.

Pete Wright:

Right. He's now with himself.

Seth Nelson:

He's married, and he runs into his ex wife at their kid's graduation. And couple drinks in

Pete Wright:

Yep.

Seth Nelson:

Little memory lane. And there's some really funny scenes, like, when he's naked on the bed and there's, like they're on the screen and then someone else comes in the show in in the scene, and it's some complicated compromising positions that are just hilarious. And it's the holidays, so everyone should laugh a little bit. Beat. You know?

Seth Nelson:

It doesn't

Pete Wright:

I I wonder as we wrap our first round here, Seth, if there if you find other movies that are popular for the divorce crowd for, like, your clients? Do do you have, like, a list of movies, or should we be preparing that list today that you recommend to finance the divorce?

Seth Nelson:

I don't. But you know what? That's so interesting you say about creating a list because I have a list for everything. Mhmm. And the one thing I've never had a list for, is movies, but my fiance always had a list for movies on kids.

Seth Nelson:

I just saw your eyes get really big, guys. Yep.

Andy Nelson:

Yep. Something happened. I just dropped the bomb. Happen.

Seth Nelson:

I just dropped the bomb on you.

Pete Wright:

Subtly like that. Why would you please us like that? What is going on right now?

Seth Nelson:

Well, since the last time we had our podcast, I've become engaged. And like a good friend of mine said, you're engaged in what?

Pete Wright:

Well, congratulations.

Andy Nelson:

Fantastic.

Pete Wright:

Seth, that's awesome.

Seth Nelson:

Thank you. A little holiday cheer even though it's a divorce podcast because as we all know, the leading cause of divorce is marriage. So I'm gonna tempt fate, you know, and give it a go.

Andy Nelson:

That is

Pete Wright:

fantastic news. And I think, Andy and I I I joined Andy in saying, long time coming. It's about time.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. Right. No kidding. It's it's been a while.

Seth Nelson:

It's only been 12 years. So I played the long game. We're in no rush here.

Pete Wright:

That's right.

Seth Nelson:

You know?

Pete Wright:

That's right.

Seth Nelson:

No hurry.

Pete Wright:

That's fantastic. What huge news for a bonus episode. This is, that's fantastic. Yeah.

Andy Nelson:

Alright. No kidding. That's great.

Pete Wright:

Low. Raising a glass.

Seth Nelson:

But to answer your question, I don't have a list, but I think I'm gonna talk to her and see if she has a divorce movie list. And I'm gonna see how that flies over the holidays when I bring that up.

Pete Wright:

Sounds great. Sounds like a great holiday. Make sure they just serve dinner.

Seth Nelson:

That'll be perfect.

Pete Wright:

Alright. Andy, what do you got for number 2?

Andy Nelson:

Alright. Well, not to bring it down way down, after all that exciting news, but the next film that I I have on my list, I mean, it's it's an interesting film. It's a nonlinear, and it jumps between two points in a relationship. 1, before getting married at the beginning when everything is happy and things are great, and then the second part is several years into the marriage when things are completely falling apart and inevitably leading to the divorce that we all knew was coming. It is in, the 2010 film directed by Derek Cee in France, Blue Valentine.

Andy Nelson:

And, if if you thought the last film I mentioned was a punch in the gut, this is the real punch in the gut. This is a a tough one. But incredible performances by both Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling in the film. But, yeah, it's it's a difficult one, but, a good one. So that's number 2 for me, Blue Valentine.

Pete Wright:

I that was too too sad to put on the list.

Andy Nelson:

It's just right?

Seth Nelson:

I know. And the like, it's the holidays. Andy?

Pete Wright:

Yeah.

Andy Nelson:

Like, I know.

Seth Nelson:

And now everyone listening's like, now I know why they don't let Andy talk. Lock him back

Andy Nelson:

up for another year.

Pete Wright:

That's fantastic. I, I I didn't I do have one gut punch on the list, but I tried to really rein it in a little bit with some of this. But I my my second film is from just a year later, 2011, and I can't remember, Andy, if you and I have had a conversation about this. Something tells me that you don't like this movie, but I I don't remember. It is a story of a middle aged, a husband whose life changes dramatically when his wife asks him for a divorce.

Pete Wright:

He goes about looking to rediscover his manhood with the help of a newfound friend, Jacob, learning to pick up girls at bars. And this is a perfect tie in Yes. Play because the, the hottie with the body is Ryan Gosling That's right. Who just has a real corner on on the market of divorce movies. But it stars Steve Carell.

Pete Wright:

And I remember, like, feeling like, oh, Steve Carell. He's got some incredible range. This was this was sort of the these were the years where he was demonstrating a lot of stuff. And the movie, if I haven't said it, is crazy Stupid Love, with Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, and Julianne Moore. In the principal roles, Emma Stone is in it.

Pete Wright:

Marisa Tome is in it. Kevin Bacon, who proves he is connected to everybody, is really I I really enjoyed this movie. But I I think it is principally because every actor in this film is so wildly charismatic even when they're down.

Seth Nelson:

Yeah.

Pete Wright:

It is just it it's a lot of fun. It's got a a lot of heart and, you know, deals with some serious stuff too.

Seth Nelson:

I mean, are we allowed to do spoiler alerts that these movies have been out forever? Yeah. I mean, how does that work? Year. Sure.

Seth Nelson:

So but does doesn't Ryan Gosling's character start dating Steve Carell's daughter?

Pete Wright:

Yeah. That's the whole issue because Steve Carell that's what's so funny. Steve Carell is looking for dating advice from the guy who's dating his own daughter. Yeah.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. Without realizing it. I mean, yeah, it all it all comes to

Seth Nelson:

Yeah.

Andy Nelson:

It's it it it

Seth Nelson:

kinda comes into that.

Andy Nelson:

Such a fun movie. And we haven't talked about that, but, absolutely worth talking about because it's fantastic.

Pete Wright:

You're a fan though. You like it. Must be something else to

Andy Nelson:

hide this movie.

Pete Wright:

Okay. Good. Alright.

Seth Nelson:

Well, I'm going with the lighter side, guys.

Pete Wright:

It's the

Seth Nelson:

holidays. I don't know what's going on over there. But Goldie Hawn, Bette Miller, Diane Keaton, the first wives club. I mean, come on. Call me about these amazing women who helped their husband in their careers and then as, you know, we stereotypically see in the movies and in life sometimes, you know, all get asked for divorce and the guys are all with much younger women, and they just get even in a hilarious comedy in how they do it.

Seth Nelson:

And I just thought it was just a lot whole lot of fun.

Pete Wright:

A whole lot of fun.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. And what a trio, like, powerhouse performance, like, led by those 3 at the top of the movie. You know? Just, I mean, really strong.

Pete Wright:

Absolutely. I I I just feel like it is it's one of those that makes you, like, I I always reflect people who write divorce movies have like, there there's a reason they're writing these storylines, and and there must be some true story to all of these. Right? Some some writer had an experience where he knew that these people actually existed, and that that satisfies me, to a a great extent.

Andy Nelson:

Absolutely. You know, it's it's a it's a funny one. I I just yeah.

Seth Nelson:

I I always think that unlike Andy, who's like, yeah. Let's just write the gut punch, like, how it really is. I think it's harder to write a comedy about difficult subjects. And so maybe maybe that's kinda where I'm I'm going with all this. You know?

Pete Wright:

Yeah. I like it.

Seth Nelson:

I like the harder road, Andy. You just go for the juggler.

Pete Wright:

Low low hanging fruit, Andy. Bring bring an endgame effect now.

Seth Nelson:

Yeah.

Andy Nelson:

Barely. Well, alright. For my next pick, I don't know if I should do this one now. Jeez. I'm I'm going a different route because, you know, I mean, divorce happens all over the world.

Andy Nelson:

And in this particular case, I'm looking at an Iranian film from 2011, directed by Oscar Farati called A Separation. And, wow, what a surprisingly powerful film about a couple in Iran who separate and how hard that is in a in this particular society, the challenges that they go through with all of that, and also the fact that there's an aging elderly father, with Alzheimer's that's kind of in the mix of all of it too. And it's just there's a lot of complexities. It's it's putting a lot of issues, for the daughter. It just, like, in this particular society, something like this unfolding really, like, takes a whole new, approach.

Andy Nelson:

And so A Separation is the name of the film if I hadn't mentioned it. And it's, you know, it's a really interesting story about divorce on that side of the world. So that is number 3 for me.

Seth Nelson:

Okay. That's not really a gut punch. We'll give them that one.

Pete Wright:

It's not. No. That

Seth Nelson:

Yeah. It's

Pete Wright:

Mind expanding is what he just did.

Seth Nelson:

Yes. There you go. Yeah. Alright. That was not on my list.

Seth Nelson:

So you got some points for me.

Andy Nelson:

Look at that. Look at that.

Pete Wright:

Didn't quite like this. Other Iranian divorce comedies that I'm excited to bring you all.

Seth Nelson:

Exactly. So I'm gonna talk to my fiance about that

Pete Wright:

now too. List.

Seth Nelson:

We want to have categories of foreign divorce movies.

Pete Wright:

I, my my next pick is, decidedly on brand for me, I think. It it is one of my very favorite movies. It's about a lonely writer, and he's just trying to get by. He's going through a a divorce, and it's hard on him. And and, you know, he's he's not a very social guy, and he happens to to meet, a new partner.

Pete Wright:

And that partner gets him through his days, wakes him up in the morning, walks with him on the beach, and puts him to bed at night. They develop an incredible relationship. It just so happens that that partner is an artificial intelligence. I am talking about her, the Spike Jonze film, in which Joaquin Phoenix is going through a divorce from, Rooney Mara and falls in love with Scarlett Johansson in the form of a robot. And it is an amazingly good movie.

Pete Wright:

Don't you dare disparage it.

Andy Nelson:

No. I just had no idea where you're going with that. Like, that was the last thing I was expecting to pop up on the list is the robot.

Pete Wright:

I I feel like, you know, again, isn't this what divorce is like right now? Like you get a divorce and you're lonely and sad. And so you fall in love with Siri.

Seth Nelson:

Wait. I don't know how, Pete, you just mentioned my fiance's name on the show. I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, she does not want the spotlight on her and that we can say girlfriend at the time, and now I said fiance, and now you just let it out to the world.

Pete Wright:

You do do you do you when you try to get her attention, do you now say, hey, fiance.

Seth Nelson:

Only if I wanna be ignored.

Pete Wright:

That's right. Well, I take it that's not a steal then from your reactions. I feel very good about that.

Seth Nelson:

No. That is not a steal, but I will tell you. The first thing in the trouble I had with my fiance, Siri, is that she wanted to be in a very open relationship, and I was a little concerned.

Pete Wright:

Gets to a principal point in this movie, but a little well played comment.

Andy Nelson:

Exactly.

Seth Nelson:

Okay. I just thought this next one for me was great. Jack Nicholson, Amanda Pete, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, and Something's Gotta Give. Yeah. Did you didn't have one good day?

Pete Wright:

I didn't have it on my list, but I and and honestly, this is just hearing you say it reminded me of the movie, and it's it's a worthy pick.

Seth Nelson:

Well, go ahead. Explain why you think I'm so worthy. I like it.

Pete Wright:

Well, you know, I'm I'm on a I'm on a Keanu Reeves kick right now with the matrix 4 coming up. And so, we have been watching a lot of interviews with him, and he's just a wonderfully charismatic guy. But that movie, it it captures a part in life that I think is is really fascinating. Right? Because isn't he like, he's on the the cusp of being, like, a senior citizen, and that really plays on his relationship with, with women.

Pete Wright:

And

Seth Nelson:

Yeah. Well, that's what Jack Nicklaus is. Right? He's the older guy date the younger women, and then, like, all these other people come in and, like, Diane Keaton who has, you know, visiting her. And what happens is is Jack Nicholson is dating this young woman, but then they're at the beach house, and the young woman's mom comes in who's older.

Seth Nelson:

And then that kinda happens. And Keanu Reeves is the doctor that's kinda helping people do their health, and it all this love triangle starts. But it's just and I guess what I'm kinda going for now that I'm looking at these meet these pics that I'm doing is, like, not just like the gut wrenching Andy when you're going through it, but, like, what happens afterwards? Like, we so focus on the now. Yeah.

Seth Nelson:

Right? When we're going through divorce, you're just trying to breathe and get through it, focused on a day. You're looking backwards about what happened, and I'm always trying to get people to look forward, And you never know what life is gonna bring you, and all the craziness that might happen and how your views change. And I've had clients that will at the beginning of their case, will be telling me something, and they truly believe it. In their heart of hearts, in their minds of minds, they believe it.

Seth Nelson:

It's their core. And then 6 months later, that might change. Yeah. And they'll and so I just said, like, things change. They're shifting sands.

Seth Nelson:

We grow. We learn. Things happen to us. We view things differently. So just always kinda keep that in mind.

Seth Nelson:

And that's kinda what these movies are for me is when your years down the road or you're only dating a certain type of person and, hey, look, you've dated that same person a thousand times, and it hasn't worked out. Maybe try something new. Right? So that that's why I felt about that movie.

Pete Wright:

Well and you managed to pick, one of the members of the, Hollywood divorce movie industrial complex. Now you have 2 movies written by Nancy Meyers

Seth Nelson:

on your list.

Pete Wright:

It's complicated and directed by, written and directed by, it's complicated, and now something's gotta give. And looking at the posters, I think they even use the same font. So

Andy Nelson:

Nancy Meyers is a director who has, a number of other divorce films under her list. So we'll see if any of those pop up. It'd be interesting.

Pete Wright:

Alright. So that takes us is it my turn again already?

Andy Nelson:

Already? My turn. I think

Pete Wright:

it's your turn.

Seth Nelson:

Yeah. Andy, your turn.

Pete Wright:

Good. Good. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Backing away from the mic.

Andy Nelson:

I mean, I like what Seth had to say about the whole idea of when you're, kind of post divorce and trying to take a breath and figure out how to move forward because it fits in so perfectly. This is a story about 4 women, and one of the reasons that I also picked it is because they're from Phoenix, and, you know, that's where I am. And, you know, this is a a a story about them as they kind of end some relationships and try to move on and figure out what's coming next. It's directed by Forest Whitaker starring, fantastic cast, Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Loretta Devine, Leila Rochon, Dennis Haysbert, Michael Beech, Gregory Hines, Donald Faison, McKelty Williamson, just a awesome cast of people. It is waiting to exhale.

Andy Nelson:

And, if, if you one of the one of the great iconic moments from the scene from the film is when Angela Bassett, when she's going through the or the initial phase of realizing that her relationship is ending, and she sets fire to her husband's all of his clothes in his car. And that image of her standing there staring at the car burning. Just it's just classic.

Pete Wright:

Classic.

Andy Nelson:

It is classic.

Pete Wright:

It is classic.

Seth Nelson:

I knew it was a steal. Yep. That's a

Pete Wright:

great movie.

Seth Nelson:

I know it.

Andy Nelson:

So good.

Seth Nelson:

And the only thing that ever makes me sad is that part when she like, all of it's on fire. Unfortunately, I've had cases like that where they literally lit their party's stuff on fire. And here's a little thing to know, check your local jurisdiction.

Andy Nelson:

Always gotta get that in.

Seth Nelson:

There's a difference on what you can be prosecuted for or not depending on whether you light your ex's stuff on fire in your front yard or the backyard. Wow. Wow. Really? Who would have thought mhmm.

Seth Nelson:

That's Check your local jurisdiction.

Pete Wright:

Can you can you give me just off the right off the dome an example of something that I could legally light on fire in my backyard that I can't light on fire in my front yard?

Seth Nelson:

It's not about the item. It's about the location.

Pete Wright:

Oh, okay.

Seth Nelson:

And I learned this when I was dealing with a case, and I don't know if that it was a long time ago. So I don't know if that's still Fantastic. The law. But, That's crazy. I mean, I tell clients all the time, you can break into your own house.

Seth Nelson:

They're like, they changed the locks. I'm like, is there a pot on the front stoop? They're like, yeah. I'm like, throw it through the window. And they're like, what?

Pete Wright:

I was like, it's your house.

Seth Nelson:

It's your house. You can break your window if you like. You know, I don't do it in the middle of the night to disturb people. But

Andy Nelson:

But is there, like, when they're married, and this is an interesting question about that, if, like, are spouses clothing considered, like, communal shared property even though obviously one set of clothes is for 1 and one set of clothes are is for the other?

Seth Nelson:

Well, don't don't disregard the cross dressers there, Andy, in making those hypotheticals and assumptions, you know. So, yes. I mean, or is there gonna be issues if you're like, oh, he she took my, suits or, you know, he took my shoes or whatever the case may be. The bane of our existence other than discovery and all those paperwork that we have to do is when parties are arguing about personal property.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah.

Seth Nelson:

I mean, the amount of money you're gonna spend just go buy new stuff.

Andy Nelson:

Sure. Sure. That's a good point.

Seth Nelson:

So, yeah. So but it happens.

Andy Nelson:

Right. Alright.

Seth Nelson:

So Okay. Be careful on those Christmas gifts that you give.

Pete Wright:

Noted. Yeah. Noted. Glad I'm not done with my shopping. Okay.

Pete Wright:

My 4th pick. I'm so glad that I was able to get this in. Honest honestly, I didn't think I was gonna do it when Andy picked his first movie, because this this is my gut punch movie

Andy Nelson:

Oh, yes.

Pete Wright:

Released in 2019, and it I found it absolutely crushing. It turns out that the AI in her was a real woman after all. Scarlett Johansson, Adam Driver, in Noah Baumbach's film, marriage story, that really documents in an incredibly clever fashion, the dissolution of a marriage in favor of the family as it as in an effort to to stay together after after it. And I found it so, oh my god. It was just heart wrenching.

Pete Wright:

This movie, it was incredibly well written. The performances were just stellar. Totally believable for me, and also believable as it fell apart. So I I thought it was a great movie. Is it a steal?

Pete Wright:

Tell me it's a steal from somebody.

Seth Nelson:

It was almost on my list, but it was so gut wrenching. I took it off. Yeah.

Andy Nelson:

And I had the other Noah Baumbach. I didn't wanna run 2 of them. But,

Seth Nelson:

well, it gave me

Pete Wright:

a chance to get 2 Scarjos in there. So I

Andy Nelson:

have that as a backup just in case. It's a good one.

Pete Wright:

Yeah. So good.

Seth Nelson:

See, I feel like Andy is, like, has all these backup movies in case, like, we say one of his.

Pete Wright:

Oh, no. Believe me. I've been working with Andy a long time about movies, and his backup list is a 150 strong. I guarantee it.

Andy Nelson:

There might be a few. There might be a few.

Pete Wright:

Alright.

Seth Nelson:

So I'm just gonna say it. Under the Tuscan sun.

Pete Wright:

Yeah. Another another getting a groove back movie.

Seth Nelson:

It's all about getting your groove back for me. That's what I'm always talking to people about. But and I also just thought the change of, like, location and what are you trying to accomplish here and where are you and and how everything can be new and different was just really great. And the scenery is phenomenal. And it's, like you just said, Pete, getting your groove back.

Seth Nelson:

That's what I'm talking about. Simple for me.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I've never seen it. Never seen that one, but I love Diane Lane.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. She's just always awesome.

Pete Wright:

It well, it's lovely. And and, you know, they say this this is a trophy thing to say, but I'll say it. Like, the the setting is the character in the movie. It's so gorgeous where she goes.

Seth Nelson:

It's so beautiful. The cinematography is phenomenal.

Pete Wright:

Yeah. It's just a gorgeous film. Whatever you think of that, just parading through these landscapes is stellar.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. Alright. Is it time for the final picks?

Pete Wright:

It's time for the final picks.

Seth Nelson:

I think I'm out of movies because I had a there was a couple steals there.

Pete Wright:

Oh, no. That must fill you with such shame.

Seth Nelson:

Oh my god. I have to I have to get on, and talk to uncle Google here real quick. I don't know what's on.

Pete Wright:

Well, we could call this our bonus round then. How about that? There you go. Okay. Alright.

Andy Nelson:

So for my, bonus pick then, Pete, you know I love this movie. We've talked about it on our show, The Next Reel. This is a a comedy. And just, you know, for me, it's like here we are. I'm going light.

Andy Nelson:

I'm going, with a lot of levity. Some might say it's it's over the top insane levity, but it is a film I loved pieces. It is so flipping funny, and it is because Melissa McCarthy, newly divorced, goes back to college with her daughter and joins her in the sorority. It is Life of the Party directed by Melissa's husband, Ben Falcone. This is, just one of the funniest movies, and there are at least two scenes where I'm in tears laughing.

Andy Nelson:

It is just so funny. So the big favorite, of mine, it is life of the party. Okay.

Pete Wright:

Alright. You win with that pic. I love that movie so much. Seth, have you seen it?

Seth Nelson:

Yes. First of all, anytime that an adult goes back to college with their child I'm in favor of, I can't tell you how many times I've told my son who's now just starting as a junior to think about colleges and where he might go. And I I say, you know, I've always wanted to study that as well. You know? And he you know, as I always like to say, I am the rock on which he sharpened his wit.

Seth Nelson:

He looks at me and says, dad, you can't get into schools I'm applying to. Oh, wow. And I say, good luck paying

Andy Nelson:

for them now. Right. You

Seth Nelson:

know? Oh my god.

Pete Wright:

That's It's so funny.

Andy Nelson:

So funny.

Seth Nelson:

It's a great movie, though, Andy. That's a great pick, and it's not a gut punch. So I'm a little pissed.

Andy Nelson:

I had to get one out of here. That was me to destroy people.

Pete Wright:

Well, I and I'll I'll end with my bonus pick that isn't, isn't as much of a gut punch, either. This is, it's actually a remake of of a movie that was, I I don't remember where it was made originally. The the director is Sebastian Lelio. This is the original film was called Gloria. This is the 2018 film, Gloria Bell, and it's another getting your groove back movie.

Pete Wright:

It's, music and, you know, it's a a woman in her middle age just going out and having a good time and trying to rediscover herself sexually and, who has fault with that plot at all. Great use of music. Amazing, amazing cast. John Turturro joins, Julian Moore as as Gloria Bell, John Turturro, Michael Cera, Brad Garrett shows up. Brad Garrett.

Pete Wright:

Everybody loves Raymond fame. Love Brad Garrett. He's very funny. Jean Tripplehorn. Rita Wilson, who I think was in another pick.

Pete Wright:

Was she in it's complicated or something's gotta get complicated. It's complicated. Yeah. It it is, and Sean Astin is in this movie as well. Fantastic.

Pete Wright:

It was produced by one of our very favorite people, Pablo Lorraine. And, so I think it is a worthy entry into the list. Gloria Bell, if you haven't seen it, it's a lot of, fun watching Julianne Moore get her groove back.

Andy Nelson:

Nice.

Pete Wright:

And you won't be surprised to know in the climactic scene of the movie, they do play the song Gloria. So that apparently is and by the end, if you don't want to dance with it, you you know, then you're you're not wired right.

Seth Nelson:

Wow. Something's wrong. Yeah. Something's wrong. Awesome.

Andy Nelson:

Yeah. So, Seth, did you come up with something? Did Google give you

Pete Wright:

Is that it?

Seth Nelson:

No. I I I decided I was gonna focus on what you were saying and not do uncle Google. Okay. I just felt like that would not be, right to kinda cheat that way. But, I gotta tell you, I can't thank you both enough for, Andy, all the hard work and behind the scenes stuff you do for the toaster and producing and

Pete Wright:

Absolutely.

Seth Nelson:

Pete always keeping me honest when we're, on the show talking to our guests. And, I would like to share with you a couple of things I've heard from some people.

Pete Wright:

Oh, outstanding.

Andy Nelson:

Oh, great.

Seth Nelson:

Yeah. Recently was told that, really loved the show, learning some things, and have stepped outside of my comfort zone and reached out to a divorce group to meet new friends. Wow.

Andy Nelson:

That's really great.

Seth Nelson:

Yep. Yep. So I was told that and it was told that I was allowed to share that on the show. Had some other people, I think we talked about we we haven't talked about on the show, but there was that, amazing review about listening to the show and talking about how to talk to your lawyer and save money. So that's always a good thing.

Seth Nelson:

Yeah. And we had a really nice review on that. Got some other, people that are are are die hard listeners, some of which, one of it is a former client who says, I listened to that show, and it's great, Seth, and Pete is awesome. And I'm like, what are you doing listening to this?

Pete Wright:

You're done.

Seth Nelson:

She's like, I

Pete Wright:

You're done.

Seth Nelson:

She's like, I right. And she goes, I just think I think you guys are really funny. Oh, that's nice. And so that was very very kind of her. So we've gotten some nice feedback, and I just thought I'd share that during the holidays.

Seth Nelson:

It's really nice. Out there and you're going through a divorce, it is perfectly okay. It is perfectly okay to get some popcorn and whatever you wanna drink, and go watch a movie by yourself, and realize you're not gonna be interrupted by the kids, or sit next to someone that you don't really care for anymore. And so go enjoy the movies, enjoy your holidays, enjoy the time that you might have to yourself because you don't get those moments back. And I would encourage people to try not to think about what you don't have or who's not next to you or your kids aren't there with you, but that you get to enjoy this time for yourself and do all those things that you might not have had time to do when all other people were around.

Pete Wright:

That is a lovely way to wrap up this and this season and this holiday, this as we enter into, and explore this holiday season, whatever stage of the divorce process you are are in, thank you everybody for downloading and listening to this show. We deeply appreciate you, for participating in this community. All of the movie picks will be in the show notes in your podcast app or on the website at, nelsonkoster.comorat true story dot f m. And, we hope that you find something to laugh at if you're like me and Seth or if you're just in for a torrential cry, you could watch Andy's movies. Any one of them.

Pete Wright:

It's great. Hey, Andy.

Seth Nelson:

And we listen. We we don't give legal advice here as everyone knows. But if you do have any legal questions or any questions at all in your life, feel free to ask my fiance, Siri, and we'll just go from there. I thought

Pete Wright:

you were gonna be serious about it. You can ask us questions too. We're collecting questions for our next season. Just go to the website. There's a button that says ask a question, and it'll go right to us, and we'll queue them up to knock them out, as we gear up for next season of the show.

Pete Wright:

We're taking a little break for some weeks here as we, navigate the holidays. We'll have some older episodes. We're gonna queue back up over the next couple weeks. So enjoy your holiday. Listen to some reruns, and, we'll see you in 20, dear god, 22.

Pete Wright:

Thanks, everybody. On behalf of Seth Nelson and Andy Nelson. Thanks, Andy.

Andy Nelson:

Thank you.

Pete Wright:

We'll catch you back here next year right here on, how to split a toaster, a divorce podcast about saving your relationships.

Outro:

Seth Nelson is an attorney with Nelson Coster Family Law and Mediation with offices in Tampa, Florida. While we may be discussing family law topics, how to split a toaster is not intended to nor is it providing legal advice. Every situation is different. If you have specific questions regarding your situation, please seek your own legal counsel with an attorney licensed to practice law in your jurisdiction. Pete Wright is not an attorney or employee of Nelson Coster.

Outro:

Seth Nelson is licensed to practice law in Florida.