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Amplify with Jess Ekstrom is a top rated business podcast designed to help you amplify your ideas, influence and income. We have a special focus on amplifying women's voices, but this show is open to everyone. Tune in every other Tuesday to hear from Forbes Top Rated Speaker, Jess Ekstrom as she talks to speakers, authors and entrepreneurs who are crushing it in their own way.
Lindsay - 00:00:03:
You think that you just went, wow. And this is what you did. Wow. That's your perception of how ridiculous you were. You think you went like, I got this. And what you really did with this. And I had this myself. That's it. And so you also need to watch videos of yourself and see like, oh my gosh, I thought that was huge. I thought that gesture really made a difference. And it was like this big.
Jess - 00:00:33:
Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom. If you're ready to amplify your ideas, your influence, and your income, then you're in the right place. One of the most common struggles I hear from speakers, whether you're keynoting a conference or just trying to hold people's attention in a meeting, is how do I bring more energy to the stage without feeling fake? You want to be engaging, but you don't want to sound like a game show host who just downed five expressos. That very question came up in our LinkedIn live chat from Dana, one of our Mic Drop Workshop members. And if you're not following me on LinkedIn, make sure you do that right now so you know when our next live comes out. But Dana asked, how can I appear more energetic without feeling like I'm putting on a performance? So I knew exactly who to bring on for this conversation. The Lindsay Boccardo. Lindsay's journey included being a professional drummer, where she learned firsthand that energy and presence matter just as much as the words we say. Now she's a keynote speaker and expert on generations in the workforce, helping leaders communicate and connect more effectively. And when it comes to public speaking, she knows exactly how to help you show up in a way that's engaging, confident, but still completely you. So when Dana asked her question about energy, Lindsay had the perfect response.
Lindsay - 00:02:01:
It's not about you come on the stage and you're like, hello, I am now going into my alter ego. It's actually what you said. It's the skill. And it is a skill of turning up the dial without becoming self-conscious. Really turning the dial up in service of the people that are watching you. And sometimes we think authenticity is I'm just going to be exactly me on stage. But then you're not thinking about being in service of the people that are there. And you and I know that, like, for an example, if I'm in front of two people, I'm not going to be like, what's up, everybody? But if I'm in front of a bunch of kindergartners and, I'm going to tell them a story and there's 300 of them, I better have running shoes on. I better be ready to be in service of my audience. And I think that's something that I know you really care about that we connect heart to heart on is that we don't become speakers for the applause. Although it's really nice to have a job that people clap for us and, like, actually clap. We do it in service of our audience. And sometimes we can get that reversed. Like, I hope they like me. And instead it's I have something really important that I want to share that I know will change your perspective and potentially your life. And that's that mindset. And I know you've got a lot to say about this, too. You've got some amazing analogies around this. But I think that's the difference is I'm turning the dial up in service of the people that are here.
Jess - 00:03:27:
Yeah, Lindsay and I were trying to narrow it down beforehand. And we're like, what are the three tips that we want you all to know when it comes to public speaking? Because if you have this... Huge checklist. It's like, you're going to go up there and be like, like Ricky Bobby. Like, I don't know what to do with my hands. So that first tip is around mindset. And we like to call this the difference between being a spotlight speaker and a lighthouse speaker. So a spotlight speaker goes up on stage with the spotlight on them. And when I say on stage, this could also be like, you know, in a meeting or whatever it might be and saying, I want to be liked. How do I look? How am I being perceived? What do people think of me? I want to be perfect. It is all in the favor of me. But a lighthouse speaker shifts the light from themselves to the audience. It's not about me. Like if I have stuff in my teeth, like that sucks, but who cares? Because it is about the audience. What do they need? What are they struggling with? And how can I use my story to help them get there? So that first step around like the mindset of speaking is like, am I doing this for me or am I doing this for them? And the more you do it for them, the more you do it as a lighthouse speaker, the better you will become as a speaker. But that also has to do with the prep work that you put behind it.
Lindsay - 00:04:48:
That's right.
Jess - 00:04:49:
Is where you come in, Lindsay. Yeah.
Lindsay - 00:04:51:
Yeah. So the second, you know, the second tip that we want to give is, you know, confidence comes with repetition and preparation. Sometimes I think we believe that like, oh, I'm just not a confident person. I wish a fairy godmother would come down and bestow it upon me so that I could get on stage. And you and I know, Jess, after thousands of speeches and presentations. That that type of confidence, which is basically, I know I'm going to get the result that I'm planning for when I go up. That comes through earning it. No one is bestowed. And that means you're warming up and you're practicing. Every time you are warming up before you go into the meeting, before you go into Girl Scouts, even something as silly as that, when you're presenting to a bunch of girls, that's the most stressful place for me.
Jess - 00:05:36:
I'm more scared to present to Girl Scouts than I am like CEOs. But Joanna also has an interesting comment here. People don't know if you're truly confident or if you're faking it until you're making it. They can't tell the difference. So we might as well pretend that we got this. I love that.
Lindsay - 00:05:52:
I love that. Yeah. Well, and you know, as women, aren't we told, like, let's be honest, aren't we told, keep it small. Don't take up all the space. Oh, people are going to think you're arrogant and cocky. And the other thing I know that if I walk in and I'm like, I've got you, I've got this, this is going to be phenomenal, that people actually can take a breath. We need to hold that room. And so that second tip about making sure you're warmed up, you know, your intention, what am I trying to create in this room in this moment? I'm trying to motivate the Girl Scouts to sell more cookies this year. I've got to give them a strong enough vision to do that. So that's my intention is to motivate them in that way. And then making sure that you're warmed up. And here's why more than ever, think about how you and I spend six to seven hours of our day. You know how we spend it. What do you look like when you're doing this? Let me show you behind the scenes. This is what you look like.
Jess - 00:06:45:
Like The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Like this. Technique.
Lindsay - 00:06:50:
And your face, no one is like. Expressing. And so a lot of us unconsciously have a flat affect. You are walking around the world with tech face where now you're used to not mirroring other people. And so when I go in and I know this because I'm an introvert too, which is hard to believe I know, but when I go into a space before I go in, I will stretch my face. I will do like Jim Carrey level warmups. And you and I both just, we've got vocal warmups that we do. We've got to flip all these expression switches before we come into the space because our world turns us into little. People like this. And so it does. That's where your confidence comes from, prep and warmup.
Jess - 00:07:37:
I'm curious, Lindsay, like when you speak and I'll share my experience too, and you feel like I got this woman over here and I got this person, but like this person is like checked out. They are like. You know, doing Words with Friends on their phone or, or they're just like giving you tech face. What do you do? Yeah. In that moment when you feel like you don't have everyone.
Lindsay - 00:08:02:
I think that it is the expectation, whatever room you're in, that you will not have everyone. Life is what it is. We all know how intense life is right now. And I just make the assumption I believe the best about that person. So I don't create a negative thought process. It's like if somebody's like this in the back of the room, I'm like, oh, their dog must be at the vet. And they're making sure that the surgery went well. I just like make up a story in my mind. And I assume that that person has a really good reason for not paying attention. The other option I have is to be like, how rude.
Jess - 00:08:35:
And then it throws you off. Yeah.
Lindsay - 00:08:39:
Exactly. So almost like let me already start shouting out Mel Robbins because I'm obsessed. The Let Them Theory, like let them. Now I'm going to be careful because that doesn't like excuse me from not trying or being like if they're going to listen, they're going to listen. If not, I'm going to do my darn best to engage you. And it also depends on the age of the people. And the situation that I'm in. So this weekend I have a keynote for 700 people. If there's a table that's distracted and they're making a lot of noise and they're college students who I freaking love and their advisors and the people that are like in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and they're all distracting the group. In my keynote, I'm going to be talking while putting my physical body near that table. And you know what's going to happen when I get near that table? They're going to be like. Group teacher is here. Oh, right here.
Jess - 00:09:32:
Yeah.
Lindsay - 00:09:32:
Exactly. So you also can use your presence as a tool for attention to keep the attention in the right spot as well.
Jess - 00:09:39:
And I will say on top of like the The Let Them Theory, let them feel, I've done the same thing where I've made up stories. Someone's sleeping in the audience. I'm like, oh, they must have a newborn baby at night. And they're just up with them five times. Yeah.
Lindsay - 00:09:53:
Yes.
Jess - 00:09:53:
I come up with a story too. That's it. But I will also say you don't know based on someone's facial expression or even what they're doing, like if what they're, you're making the assumption of what they think about you. And I've been so wrong in that. I've spoken to like police force before I've spoken to military. They were giving me nothing. Absolutely. No laughs, no nods, no facial expressions. And I was like crumbling because I was like, I just can't, I'm not getting it. I'm not getting to them. And they loved it. I remember after I spoke at the Las Vegas police force, you know, they lined up to get their book signed. And I got to the first man and I said, you know, who do you want me to make this out to thinking it was like their daughter or their wife? And he was like, uh, I don't know. Bill like points to his name tag. I was like, Oh my gosh. And that whole time I thought I lost them just because I was trying to interpret their facial expressions. So I'll go a step further than let them and say, don't even try to like interpret what they are thinking or something, because you just don't know, like don't spend the, the mental energy and talking about energy. There's been a lot of questions about energy on stage, which you are so good at. Um, so let's talk about how do you bring the energy and not just in a way that's authentic to you. That's the right tone. Um, talk about energy on speaking.
Lindsay - 00:11:29:
Okay. So there's a couple of pieces to this and Jess and I text about this all the time. The number one thing for energy just gets on so weird is like hydration, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, drink tea, take care of your voice. It sounds really exactly. Oh, a water bottle. Hey.
Jess - 00:11:45:
I need to get you a branded one.
Lindsay - 00:11:47:
I'm going to take it everywhere. Okay. I'll tell you, this is so silly, but more than like eating protein and I'm a protein girl is making sure that you're hydrated, especially if you're traveling to hotels, you're on planes, drink water on the plane, drink wine. I'll forego the diet Coke. I can't believe I'm saying that our friend Katie is going to be so mad at me, but you're going to just drink and get enough fluids. And because as soon as you get a little bit dehydrated, your brain gets fuzzy and your energy will show up differently. So that's like a very silly piece of the hack, but it's really important. I'm sure you didn't expect me to say water. The other piece, when we talk about energy, just like if you're watching the football games right now, if you're a football fan or basketball fan, no one, Caitlin Clark, or, you know, somebody from the Chiefs, they don't come out on the field. The first time they're on the field is not when the game starts, they're up their energy to that moment. So I know I already said this, but making sure you're warmed up. The other thing is that when you're on stage, you think that you just went, wow. And this is what you did. Wow. That's your perception of how ridiculous you were. You think you went like, I got this. And what you really did with this. And I had this myself. That's it. And so you also need to watch videos of yourself and see like, oh my gosh, I thought that was huge. I thought that just really made a difference. And it was like this big.
Jess - 00:13:11:
Yeah.
Lindsay - 00:13:11:
We talk about like even things like being clean in your gestures, which I just need complete the gesture. If you're going to point to me and you're like, I did it myself. You can't go, I did it myself. You have to go, I did it myself. You have to be really crisp and show. And it's just that little bit. If you're a dancer, you know this, you know, when dancers are going through rehearsals and they're like five, six, seven, eight, and they're doing like this. And then the real thing, they're like completed five, six, seven. You have to practice like you mean it and gesture, like you mean it. And you'll get that feedback on video too. You're going to go, oh my gosh, I really thought I nailed it. And I didn't. So it really doesn't take me to be honest. I know it looks like I have a lot of energy. If you saw like my blood work, you'd be like, you shouldn't have as much energy. You're anemic. Secret is competing your gestures and making them bigger than you think you need to. What do you think about this, Jess?
Jess - 00:14:03:
I think it's true. And I'll, I'll say, um, when you practice... Hold a mic or hold a clicker. Because you might be like practicing in your room like this. And then when you get to the opportunity and you have to hold something and you're like, uh, you know, and, and so practice being big while you're holding props as well can be helpful because then you get used to, uh, you get, you get used to bringing the energy, making gestures while you're holding things.
Lindsay - 00:14:40:
So.
Jess - 00:14:41:
Um, I am, you know, caffeine for me, uh, some people are like, got to get the coffee. And then sometimes I'll go like half calf before I speak because I don't want to be like jittery up there and definitely no carbonation.
Lindsay - 00:14:54:
Yeah.
Jess - 00:14:54:
Because, uh, I've burped into a microphone before and it is not, not the most great thing to recover from.
Lindsay - 00:15:02:
That's so cool.
Jess - 00:15:04:
It is. Yeah, it is. What I would love to do now is lead into our very fun announcement with some of you who are in Mic Drop Workshop or Mic Drop Academy. I'm looking at you, Catherine, and a couple more already know about this. But for those who don't, Lindsay and I have a very exciting new program that we're launching called Mic Drop Club. So Mic Drop Club is the first women's public speaking club designed to help women get confident at speaking month by month. I started Mic Drop Workshop like in my room. We had the pandemic. We've never done in person before, but so much about speaking. And what we're talking about is about repetition and getting things and going up there and practicing in low stakes, but supportive environments. And so Lindsay and I have put together Mic Drop Club to help do in-person and virtual meetups where women can meet, practice public speaking, get better at different skills month by month, and also just do it with each other and have fun along the way. So what's coming up? We have, Lindsay, you want to talk about this actually?
Lindsay - 00:16:14:
Yes. Yes. The reason that Mic Drop Club is so potent is because if you just learn these skills and walk away, you won't fully connect neurologically what's happening. But when you see your colleagues practicing this, you're going to go, now I see the difference it makes. So March's eye contact, can you believe and do you believe that eye contact even matters virtually? Virtually, we're going to talk about the power of your gaze, where you put your eyes when you are doing a virtual presentation. April, and we're going to do this in a cadence where some of you will be able to be together in person at your city, and all of us will join virtually to review these skills. So every month when you're learning a new skill, we have to stack like one or two and then cluster them and practice them together. Then stack one or two and practice them together. Because if we just keep throwing new skills, you would never give you a time to kind of compile them, you're going to have a hard time keeping it all on the cart and making it happen. So that's why we have this spread out over the year like this. And then into May, we'll be spending more time with gesture and posture. This is very important. This is why I stand for almost all my virtual presentations. I'm standing right now, even though you might say, why are you doing that? You could be sitting. There's a reason we're going to talk about for me, not for everybody, but for why I do that. So you're going to see every month, you're going to get clued in to the invisible threads, that you pull behind the scenes to show up with more energy and expression than the next person. And you'll be blown away over the year. You'll be able to see your own process as you practice these and have videos of yourself practicing. You'll see the difference.
Jess - 00:17:53:
And I mean, just speaking from the Raleigh chapter that we just had for our pilot meetup, the speaking experience that you're going to get is amazing. But the friendships and the network that has formed out of these have been incredible. And so I am so excited for you all to sign up. I know that we have new cities that are being added. So if you have ones that you want to nominate, be sure to let us know. And then if you are at a company, we also have a template on the site that helps you ask your boss or your manager to pay for this for you, because this should be a part of every company training. And then if you're also at a company and you want to bring this into your company in a specialized way that is specific to your employees, we can do that as well. So just reach out to us at club@micdropworkshop.com. But we are so excited. This is for women only. We want this to be a place not where we learn communication skills that are more masculine, but a way that we can learn about how do we lean into who we are as women? What do women experience when it comes to communication? And how can we stand up, step into our voice and get to where we want to go? Lindsay, any parting words?
Lindsay - 00:19:08:
I would just really encourage you. I think this is a season where a lot of us, because I work in the corporate space often, we feel a little isolated or unsure if we matter. You do matter. Join us at Mic Drop Club so that you can hear your own voice coming out of your body and watching other people responding to it. This is really, for me, when I see what we did live together in person for our initial club, I see that the joy that it brought people. When you're sharing and you're practicing these skills, you're also telling people about you as a human. You're going to find these other sisters, these quick friends who are on your team who can cheer you on to use your voice. I know that's so important to you, Jess, that we use our voice as women in the world right now. This is a way that you can flex this in a safe, supportive environment. I would just really encourage you. If you're on the edge, just try it with us. See what you think. I think you're going to have a really awesome experience that builds your confidence.
Jess - 00:20:04:
Yes. And this is something that we are building as we go. And so it is just going to get better from here. And the more you attend, the more skills you'll stack on since we're focusing on one scale per month. Thank you so much for tuning in and high fives all around. And Jack just woke up from his nap. So perfect timing.
Lindsay - 00:20:25:
Fantastic. Yes.
Jess - 00:20:27:
Bye everyone. Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you're a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review. This episode is brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop, where you can learn how to become a better speaker, how to land paid speaking gigs, and become a keynote speaker. This episode was edited and produced by Earfluence. I'm Jess Ekstrom, reminding you that you deserve the biggest stage, so let's find out how to get you there. I'll see you again soon.