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What comes to mind when you think about your father? Is it joy, pain, or indifference? Whatever it is, it can reveal deeper wounds that still affect you today. In this journey of healing, Zach Garza invites you to explore topics like generational sin, emotional scars, and the transformative power of forgiveness through the lens of his own story of growing up without a father in the home. By confronting the past, you'll discover how to break free, embrace your true identity, and experience the unconditional love of God.
Chapter 16, Sonship. Chapter 16. Sonship. I can remember how I felt the day I became a father. To say that day was special for me doesn't begin to describe the magnitude of the event.
Speaker 1:Hands down, it was one of the greatest moments of my life. To hold my son for the first time was a surreal encounter. As I sat in the chair with him in my arms, I couldn't help but stare into his dark brown eyes. For what seemed like an hour, we just looked at each other. And at that moment, my heart developed a love I'd never experienced before.
Speaker 1:I can't put it into words, but I just knew this love was different from the love I had for my wife or my friends. I cannot even begin to explain how much I love my kids. If you're a parent, you know the feeling. From the moment they came into this world, they had my heart. I would do anything for my children.
Speaker 1:I take very seriously the call to protect, guide, and do whatever I have to do to ensure they are set up for success. I love being with them. They don't have to earn the love of their father. I love them because they are mine and nothing can take away that love. Here's the crazy thing.
Speaker 1:God loves you so much more than that. God's love makes earthly paternal and maternal love look amateur. God's love makes earthly, paternal, and maternal love look amateur. When God looks upon you, he sees his child with whom he is well pleased. His face lights up.
Speaker 1:You don't have to earn or perform to get God's love. You don't have to earn or perform to get God's love. He loves you because you are his child. His love flows straight from the goodness and kindness of God. All our heavenly father wants is to be with his children.
Speaker 1:And as his sons and daughters, we can be secure knowing we are covered by their father. That's sonship. And it's probably a little bit different than what you've experienced. The beginning of sonship. What does it mean to enter into sonship?
Speaker 1:You can find the beginning of sonship in the Garden Of Eve. You can find the beginning of sonship in the Garden Of Eden. When God created the earth, there was no sin and everything was perfect. God created man and woman in his image, a true work of art. God took his time on man and woman.
Speaker 1:Once created, he blessed them and took care of them. He set them up for success and gave them everything they needed to thrive. He called them to be fruitful, to multiply, and to create an abundance of the things that brought them joy. Adam and Eve were living a life of dependency and intimacy with their father. Adam and Eve were living a life of dependency and intimacy with their father.
Speaker 1:Whatever they needed, physically and emotionally, the father was there to take care of them. They were always in his presence. God was their Father, and they were His children, His pride and joy, His everything. There was no lack. Instead, there was an invitation to fill the earth with good things and oversee it.
Speaker 1:They were in charge and the Lord trusted them to do a great job. God gave them food through plants and animals to manage. He gave them beauty everywhere. There was beauty everywhere. It was perfect.
Speaker 1:Our minds cannot even comprehend what the Garden of Eden was like. Even when he finished. When he finished, God looked around and was satisfied. His masterpiece wasn't just good. It was very good.
Speaker 1:Everything that I just described, that sonship, then sin messed everything up. Because of the sin of man, a wall was built between man and God. There was a separation because God cannot have anything to do with sin. It goes against his perfect nature. But God has a plan.
Speaker 1:God the father sent God the son, Jesus, down to earth to redeem what was broken and to reconcile his children. The death of Jesus dismantled the wall that sin built between God the father and his children. I used to think God was this old man sitting on the chair waiting for me to mess up so that he could scold me. I thought he loved me only when I did right and focused only on my mess ups. Never in a thousand years did I believe he was a compassionate father who was willing to move heaven and earth to show me his love for me.
Speaker 1:Your identity is no longer of an orphan. Your identity is no longer that of an orphan. Your identity is now that of a son or daughter, a child of God. You may have spent the first part of your life thinking a certain way or perceiving life through one set of lenses. Now everything has changed.
Speaker 1:You are now free to stop thinking like an orphan and start thinking like a son or daughter of the king. I was spending time with my son the other day, and he was telling me about a problem he had at school. He didn't know how to do a problem. He didn't know how to do a problem in math class, and a kid was poking fun at him. I sat my son down, and I asked him if he was worried about school or the issue he was having.
Speaker 1:He turned to me and said, no. I'm not worried at all, dad. I know you'll take care of me and help me if I have any problems. One day, my son will realize that I, his earthly father, will fail him in one way or another. After all, I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1:But my son also has a father on his side who is perfect, a father who will never fail him or forsake him, a father he can count on no matter what. As a son, I am free to believe that my father is who he says he is. As a son, I am free to believe that my father is who he says he is. The confidence my son has in me worry and fear, so it should be the same with how I view my Father in heaven. As a son, I can let him be in control.
Speaker 1:I can depend on him instead of myself. When we let go of control of our life and ask God to lead, we'll never know where the Lord may take us, but we can know it'll be good. As a son of the Most High, it is no longer up to you to control things, but instead you have faith that the Lord will take care of you and the Holy Spirit will guide you. You can let go and rest knowing that you are in the Lord's good hands. Through abiding as a son or daughter of the Lord, you produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1:Love replaces hate and joy dismantles negativity. You are patient, never forcing your own way and your own timing out of fear. You are kind instead of sarcastic and gentle when you are once angry. Your life is marked by peace and you walk in goodness and self control. You live not with a spirit of fear but with the spirit of power because the love of God has been poured into your heart, filling you up so that you can spread that love to others.
Speaker 1:The promises of sonship. In the eyes of a child, there is nothing stronger than the promise of a father. When a godly dad promises his son to do something, consider it done. Our heavenly father is the same way. His promises are better than that of a good father.
Speaker 1:His promises will never fail you. In fact, as sons and daughters of God, his promises are not just promises, but they are part of the inheritance he is handing down to us. It's more than a guarantee or a wish list. It's his legal will. My five year old son loves nothing more than a good bike ride around the My five year old son loves nothing more than a good bike ride around the My five year old son loves nothing more than a good bike ride around the neighborhood.
Speaker 1:Having just learned how to ride a bike this past summer, he's extremely proud of the fact that he can ride his bike without training wheels. My wife and I love to watch him go. The only rule is that he has to ride with dad because our street can get pretty busy. One day, I come home from work, and my son meets me in my driveway asking if we can go ride bikes. It was one of those days where the only thing I wanted to do was change into my sweatpants and turn on the TV.
Speaker 1:I gave my son the old, we'll do it later, and hoped he would forget about it. My son, the persistent one, waited about three minutes before asking me again if we could go ride. In a daze, I said, after dinner, son. Do you promise? He said.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Sure. I answered and didn't think about it again. Well, my son didn't think about well, my son did think about it again. As soon as dinner was over, he said, dad, let's go ride bikes.
Speaker 1:It's too dark outside, I told him. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. But, dad, you promised. Three minutes later, we were riding around the neighborhood in the pitch black. The last thing I was going to do was build an idea in my son that my word was no good.
Speaker 1:After all, I'm working to model God, whose word we can take to the bank all day every day. He simply cannot be anything other than faithful. It's who he is. Littered throughout scripture, we see a rich bouquet of promises. Littered throughout scripture, we see a rich bouquet of promises aimed directly at the sons and daughters of God.
Speaker 1:The sentiments are clear: God is good to all. His compassion is for all. His love endures forever, and His faithfulness continues to all generations. He gives good and perfect gifts to His children. He never changes.
Speaker 1:His promises are trustworthy, and he has promised good things to you. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in the Lord. He cares for those who trust in him alone. He withholds nothing from those who walk. He withholds nothing from those whose walk is blameless.
Speaker 1:He gives strength to the weary and power to the weak. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will not grow weary. When you pass through the waters, He will be with you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.
Speaker 1:For the Lord has plans for you to prosper. He gives you a hope and a future. He will not harm you, nor will He ever leave you or abandon you. He goes before you and will be with you always. Do not be discouraged.
Speaker 1:Do not be afraid. Even though you may walk through the darkest valley, the Lord will be with you. There is no reason to be afraid as He will comfort you. When in need, ask God who will replace your anxiety with peace. God knows what you need and will provide.
Speaker 1:The Lord will make your path straight. He is a good father who gives good gifts to those who ask. You will be successful in every good work because God will bless you with all that you need. Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. For God did not spare his own son.
Speaker 1:How will he not also graciously give us all things? If you are weary and burdened, go to the Lord. He will give you rest. He is gentle and humble in all of his ways. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
Speaker 1:Whoever follows Him will never walk in darkness. The Holy Spirit will help you. He will teach you all things and remind you when you forget. The Lord will bind up the brokenhearted and release the prisoners from darkness. He has come to give life and life to the fullest.
Speaker 1:He will listen to you and will respond to your prayers. He is near to all who call on Him. He is with you always, even to the end of the age. If you lack wisdom, all you have to do is ask Him for it and He will freely give it to you. If you ask for something in prayer and believe you have received it, it will be yours.
Speaker 1:When you take delight in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. Whatever you ask in His name, He will do it. Ask and it will be given. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.
Speaker 1:For God so loved the world that He gave us His one and only Son. And if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive and purify us. The Lord is patient towards you, not wishing that you should perish, but that you should reach repentance. God is a father to the fatherless.
Speaker 1:I could chew on the promises of God for the rest of my life and still not understand how he is this good. This is our father. Does it sound too good to be true? It does. But that's how good our father is.
Speaker 1:Abiding in Sonship. Instead of focusing on bearing fruit or trying to wrestle these promises into your life, the role of a son or daughter is to simply abide and be connected to the father, to be with him fully dependent on reaching to be with him, fully dependent on receiving all that you need from him. This can be hard because I have very little experience with being the son of a good father. The experience I do have is not positive. I do not know how to rest in the arms of a father.
Speaker 1:It's a foreign concept to me. How do we know if we are abiding in God? Look at the fruit. Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way which he walked, First John two:six. And whoever keeps his commandments abides in God and God in him.
Speaker 1:First John three twenty four. Does a branch have to strive to be a part of a tree? No, it just is. We can be the same way with God. Just like a tree and a branch, being connected is simply a way of life.
Speaker 1:God says that if you abide in him, you will bear much fruit. Your heart will desire the things of God instead of the things. Your heart will desire the things of God instead of the things of this earth. Identity and sonship. When someone first pointed out my inability to receive compliments, I played it off as I was trying to be humble.
Speaker 1:But really, it was because I didn't believe I was worthy to be praised. My self esteem was too low, and I didn't have an accurate view of myself. I couldn't see myself as the Lord saw me. I was used to seeing myself through the eyes of this world instead of through the eyes of a father. Now as his son, I can be grateful for all that the Lord has done through me.
Speaker 1:I can receive praise and tell how good God has been to me. I can receive love because I see myself as loved by God. I can receive praise because I believe the Lord made me on purpose for a purpose. When I look in the mirror, I don't see all the things I've done wrong. Instead, I see a son of God who is being used to advance his kingdom.
Speaker 1:A son and daughter can freely receive from their father without guilt and shame. They know who they are and whose they are. Their identity is secure. As a son or daughter of God, you may even find yourself believing the following: Confidence in the Lord's ability to take care of me and to provide for my every need is available to me. You can feel secure in who you are and who God created you to be.
Speaker 1:You don't need to pretend anymore because who you are is enough. You were made on purpose for a purpose. Your relationship with your father in your childhood does not have to bring you as much pain and shame as it once did. You can talk about your father without negative emotions rising. If you find yourself holding on to unforgiveness or bitterness, you can quickly give it to the Lord and deal with it.
Speaker 1:You can walk in a culture of honor and do everything that you can to stay positive. You may even find yourself celebrating other people's successes and putting them in a position to succeed. You now realize there is enough blessing and favor to go around and that God has a different mission for each of his sons and daughters. You no longer are afraid to no longer are afraid to be in touch with your emotions. In fact, you are now grateful that you can recognize and deal with your emotions in such a way that keeps you healthy and ensures that your heart is right with God.
Speaker 1:Being authentic and vulnerable with people helps keep you humble and facing your emotions helps you process potential hurts and pains. Submission to authority has now become a staple in your life. You know the security and covering authority brings and you welcome their feedback and observations. You believe the best in people knowing that they are doing the best they can and trying their hardest. You expect good things to happen and are quick to celebrate others.
Speaker 1:You can rest knowing that you are enough for the Lord. His approval is all that you need. You now walk in security knowing that you are exactly where the Lord wants you to be. You are quick to forgive others because Jesus Christ has forgiven you. You do not hold grudges and reject bitterness.
Speaker 1:Your motive has changed from trying to please others to trying to please God. You are focused on making him happy, knowing that if you live to please God and do what he wants you to do, it is there that you will find the most satisfaction with life. Of course, you still sin and fall short of perfection, but that is not who you are. You are a lot more focused on the grace and kindness of God the Father than on your performance or behavior. You do not allow circumstances to control your emotions.
Speaker 1:You have the confidence needed to face difficult situations, and you handle yourself with maturity and wisdom. You recognize disciplines like praying, reading your Bible, and going to church are all things that help you grow closer to the Lord. They are your way of being with him, not some requirement to receive his love. When the Lord showed me himself as a perfect father, I entered into sonship. Over time, I felt like I had worth because the creator of the universe wanted to be with me.
Speaker 1:One thing that helped me tremendously in seeing myself as God saw me was repeating my vision statement over myself every morning in the mirror. If you don't have one, I would encourage you to do if you don't have one, I would encourage you to get one. Feel free to use or modify mine as needed in your own life. I am a man of God. I am strong, fearless, and courageous.
Speaker 1:I am a man after God's own heart. I walk in wisdom and power. I favor with God and man. I live life to the fullest. I was created on purpose for a purpose.
Speaker 1:I act with responsibility, humility, integrity, leadership, and respect. I am loved and will love others with the love of Jesus. I will forgive because I am forgiven. I surround myself with godly friends. I honor women with my words and actions.
Speaker 1:I will be a godly husband, father and leader. I am loved by my heavenly father. I am saved by grace through faith in Jesus. I am empowered by the Holy Spirit. I am a man of God.
Speaker 1:Amen. At first, those words made me feel awkward and insecure. But over time, I came to truly see myself as the Lord saw me and the shift in identity changed my life. Experiencing God as a father and as a result walking in sonship was a watershed event for me. Most importantly, it shifted how I thought.
Speaker 1:I went from believing the worst about people and situations to believing the best. I no longer assume the worst because I knew God, my good father was in charge of it all. Knowing that my heavenly Father is for me, not against me, shattered any foundation of lies and replaced it with truth and fear. Through my newfound identity, the Lord transformed my mind. I could now do things I could never do before, like believe the best when someone gave me hard feedback or forgive someone when they wronged me.
Speaker 1:Whenever I spent time with the Lord, I was filled with His presence and my mind was renewed with His purposes. The highest compliment imaginable has already been given. It's not that God calls you a servant, a slave, or a colleague. Instead, he has extended the unthinkably high title of son to you. Embrace your identity and watch your world shift.
Speaker 1:Father wounds cannot cling to the hearts of those who know they are true sons of the most high. Tell me, which bullet point in the identity and sonship resonates with you the most? Why do you think it hits home? How does the concept of adoption register with you? God has adopted us into his family, and he has chosen us despite all of our flaws and shortcomings.
Speaker 1:What does this say about his heart for you? Which promises in the scriptures listed above stick out to you the most? Why do you Why do you feel a connection to those verses in particular?