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Believe in the process and embrace the journey. 10 minute tips with Kinglsey is the ultimate podcast for entrepreneurs and business leaders who want to align their personal and professional lives and create the life they want.
Each week, we explore the habits, strategies, and mindset shifts that foster productivity, clarity, and sustainable success. From mental and physical health to overcoming self-doubt and finding the truth about balance, self awareness, and busting myths. We tackle the challenges that hold you back while uncovering the tools that move you forward.
Whether you’re scaling your business or starting fresh, this podcast is your guide to achieving more—without burning out. Tune in, get inspired, and start creating the life you want and leave a legacy you can be proud of.
Being Present
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Kingsley: [00:00:00] How present are you in situations and is there anything that maybe you can do to increase your presence with people?
I'm convinced my wife thinks I've got a DHD, and there's a good reason for that. Probably the main reason for that is because for me to sit and focus on one thing is really, really difficult. But here's how important being present is. See, one of the main reasons she thinks I've got a DHD, or I think she thinks that is because she says to me, you've got A DHD, which pretty much is a dead giveaway.
Now, as I mentioned, I. Sitting still on one. Focusing on one thing is really, really difficult for me. It's not the easiest thing on the planet. Have I got checked out? Have I got tested? No, I haven't. Am I gonna, no, I'm not gonna, some people want to and go, okay, this is, now I understand me better. That's fine.
And that's, that's good. If [00:01:00] that's what you wanna do, I have no problem with that for me. I know who I am. I'm self-aware enough to know that is something that I need to work on and I need to focus on, and it's not necessarily easy, but at the same time, I can take advantage of this fact that I can focus on a lot of things all at the same time and be doing a whole bunch of different things all at the same time.
In fact, for me, that's one of the reasons why I do so much and I do so many things. I have people look at me and go, man, look what you're doing. You're doing this and this and this, and this and this. Yes, because if I try and focus on one thing, my mind goes everywhere. But if I try and if I have a bunch of different things on the go, then I can focus better and do things better that way.
Now will that one thing take me a lot further in a hurry? No, it won't. But I've got a lot of little things that are actually growing towards that one thing together. That's how I [00:02:00] operate. Now I say all that to say that being present is ridiculously important. I'm gonna read something from. A book that I've written called Create Your Ultimate Tomorrow, 10 Precepts to Revolutionize Your Entire Life.
Now, I wrote this book after doing 75 Hard, and in here there's a quote that I put by CCA Toll, and what he says is. The foundation of greatness is honoring the small things of the present moment instead of pursuing the idea of greatness. Personally, that's the opposite to how I like to think and act, but I've learn over time till I need to honor the small things.
There's a saying, the devil is in the detail, and there's a reason for that because it's a, the small things are the detail, the small things are the, the details that are important, and it's [00:03:00] honoring those little things and making sure they're done well. They're done properly, they are done as well as possible without perfection.
Yeah, because that's what leads to the greater good. When all of these little details and things come together, that's when the big thing actually happens and appears. I wanna take this down to being present. So being present is reality. In reality about honoring. Here I am with you right now. I'm listening intently to you, to everything you have to say, not just with your mouth.
But I'm listening to your intonation, to how you're speaking. I'm watching your eyes. I'm watching your body language, your movements. I'm watching all of these things, and I'm listening to what you are not saying at the same time. Now, anyone good at sales is good at listening. [00:04:00] Because those people are actually listening to what's not being said or listening to what's being said, but understanding the bigger picture of what the person is trying to say or trying not to say at the same time.
So when it comes to business, being present is incredibly important. In fact, I think it's a vital lesson that we have to learn. To be good at business and to be able to do things because you've gotta be present. And when you're in front of people, giving them your undivided attention. 'cause people can tell whether you are or not.
The other side of that is in a personal level, is that when we are present, to me that's one of the greatest forms of love that we can show people if you are at home with your spouse or your partner or whoever it is, and you're just. They're telling you a story. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, wow. [00:05:00] Okay. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Did I hear? Yeah, yeah. No, I heard you. That's not being very present. And it comes across like that and can put a divide. And again, it's not easy if we've got a lot of stuff going on or we've had a massive day or things have happened and you don't wanna sit there and listen to somebody talk about all these things.
But by taking just a few minutes and doing that, being present, it shows love. It shows attention in a big, big way. And I think if we can learn to be present, learn about the, the small. Little things that are important that may not seem important to us, but we can be present, listening, understanding, watching carefully.
I think that's one of the greatest measures of love that we can show someone in the person. And when we've got kids, same [00:06:00] thing. I know. I used to get bored outta my brain when my girls would've wanted to have tea parties. And it wasn't easy to do it, and I didn't always do it, but when I did sit there for like 10 minutes having a tea party with the Barbie dolls and the little plastic cups and sauces and pretending I was eating whatever it was, I know those times made a bigger difference in their lives.
Then a lot of other stuff, including instruction or discipline or anything else, those were the times that made a difference in our relationship and made it, made it so much better. And so this whole idea of being present when we are in a situation, if we can learn to get better at this, it shows love. It shows our potential clients that we understand them.
We are listening to them, and we are, we are part of their solution, not just trying to sell something or get what we can out of it. It shows our [00:07:00] partner or our husband or wife that. That we're actually really interested in them and what their feelings and their thoughts and their emotion and what's going on and what's happening and where they're going.
And it shows with our kids that the whole relationship there that we can, we can build with them and grab, grab a closeness with them. So the whole idea, and I'm no expert on this, let me tell you, but I'm working on it and I'm getting better, but being present is an unbelievable gift. And I think one of the things that really helped me with this is when I started doing podcasts and I would ask questions and I would have to sit and listen to exactly what was being said.
So I knew where to take the podcast and how to direct it from there based on their answers, not based on a checklist that I had. And that's where the real goal comes out. So a quick question of how present are you in situations and is there anything that maybe you can [00:08:00] do? To increase your presence with people.