Pickleball Therapy

We are friends. Playing a pickleball game. One of us will win and one of us will lose. That is just the way of things.
Imagine a world where you went into the game like this:
1.     I know that no matter what, either my team or my friends opposite me on the court will be able to celebrate the win.
2.     I also know that no matter what, the other one of us will walk away with something to add to their games.
I was reminded of this take on the succinct, “win or learn” idea this past weekend at the conclusion of the French Open semi-final. Specifically, Janik Sinner had just lost after a back-and-forth battle with his respected adversary, Carlos Alcaraz.
While Janik was disappointed at not winning – perfectly normal – he was able to immediately reframe the loss as an opportunity. He knows that there is a lot of tennis left in him, and in Carlos. And that they will meet again. Between now and then, Janik has the opportunity to work on his game so that the next time, Carlos is the one who leaves with a lesson to work on.
Having this sort of improved perspective can:
·       help all of us avoid the needless downside when we, unavoidably, lose one or more pickleball games, and
·       actually gain from the experience so that we can continue to grow as players.

Join our email list- https://betterpickleball.com/

Register for the upcoming summit- https://www.pickleballsummit.com/

Check out our Academy courses: https://betterpickleball.com/academy/

The Pickleball System- https://betterpickleball.com/system/

Check out Total Pickleball, Use code Better10 at checkout- https://www.totalpickleball.com/?from=wepic
Be well

What is Pickleball Therapy?

The podcast dedicated to your pickleball improvement. We are here to help you achieve your pickleball goals, with a focus on the mental part of your game. Our mission is to share with you a positive and more healthy way of engaging with pickleball. Together let’s forge a stronger relationship with the sport we all love. With the added benefit of playing better pickleball too. No matter what you are trying to accomplish in your pickleball journey, Pickleball Therapy is here to encourage and support you.

[00:00:00.270] - Speaker 1
Hello and welcome to Pickleball Therapy, the podcast dedicated to your pickle improvement. I am your host, Tony Roig. I hope you're having a great week. I am on location here in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. We are doing our camps for our inclined village camps right now. So I'm recording this up here in Tahoe. That's why the sound will be a little bit different than usual. This podcast, as you probably already know by now, is part of the betterpickleball. Com Network of Resources, designed to provide you everything you need to play an amazing pickleball game. This week's podcast, I'm going to cover two topics. I'm first going to talk about setting reasonable expectations when you're out there playing with a partner. Then in the RIF, I'm going to talk a little bit about the way that we frame out wins and losses based on the results of the semifinal match between Yannick Sinner and Carlos Alcaraz at the French Open. I had the pleasure of listening to Yannick Sinner's postgame interview, and I thought his words... He's a young man, but his words were very mature and will help us as we think about dealing with the plusses and minuses, which are natural when you're playing pickleball.

[00:01:09.490] - Speaker 1
If you haven't joined our email list yet, make sure you're on our email list. We have our summit coming up. It is an amazing event, and you can get your ticket by registering for the summit. But if you're on an email list, you're going to get notified of it and get an ability to get a ticket early so that you can make sure you join our pickleball summit. And then after that, we're going to be launching a a series of academy courses, which I think will really help you where you're at in the game by providing you with actionable solutions to areas of the game that may be troubling right now or that may be helpful to you to improve your play. We're looking for that. Again, if you're on an email list, you're going to be fine. If you're not, betterpickleball. Com, make sure you click sign up and get our email list. All right, let's talk about setting reasonable expectations in partner play. What I'm talking about here is I'm talking about When you play pickleball, most of you listening, and most pickleball players, the pickleball players behind me here at the courts, are playing doubles.

[00:02:08.230] - Speaker 1
That's how we play most of pickleball. When you play doubles, you're playing a team sport. There's no ifs, thens, or buts about it. It's you and another human being playing together, competing together with the same objective in mind, trying to be the victor in that match. It's, again, a team event. It's really important to understand that there are two players on the and that it's not just setting expectations for ourselves as players, it's setting regional expectations for our partner. I was reminded of this recently, playing in a group where we're basically switching partners back and forth. I've been at this game for a long time, and I have certain expectations about how to play the game and how I see the game. But there are situations where it is unfair for me to impart those expectations onto a partner who has not not yet traveled the road that I have traveled and developed the view of the game that I have currently in the game. What it can happen is if you allow yourself to set unrealistic expectations for a partner, is that then you create potential disappointment in terms of your view and also your reaction to what's happening on the court.

[00:03:23.160] - Speaker 1
That will manifest itself in your mind. It also manifest itself in your partner. Because whether you want to or not, you're going to react in a way that will be evident. Nonverbal communication, the studies for Alvarez, I think it's 70% of our communication is actually nonverbal. We get a lot of nonverbal cues. We're programmed to receive those nonverbal cues from outside source from other humans. In this case, you imagine a situation where you have set an expectation for your partner of X, and that expectation is just unreasonable for whatever reason, whether it's shots or understanding of the game or whatever. You have X in your mind. Partner invariably does not meet X, and the partner is at a different place in the game. So your face will show We have X, you did not meet X. That'll be evident. Again, as much as you're trying to disguise it, it's going to be evident. First of all, your mind is going to be cloudy because you're thinking, well, you're supposed to do X. And I don't mean respect the X, I just mean X as a variable. You're supposed to do this thing. You didn't do the thing, right?

[00:04:34.400] - Speaker 1
Now, I don't feel good about our situation. You don't feel good because of how I reacted and/or my nonverbal communication, even though I don't have for shoulder or anything like that. Then the third thing is energy. What will happen is your energy as a player will go down. Partner play, a lot of it is energy, right? You better your energy together, the more better you're going to perform. It doesn't mean you're going to win, but you're going to perform better. The more negative your energy, the more obstacles in your energy, then the least favorable you're going to be able to perform as a team. What I'm suggesting here is when you go out to play, have whatever expectations you want for yourself, and that's fine. You expect that you're going to hit your return or serve to a certain spot, you're going to have an additional intentionality, you're going to hit balls to a certain spot, say to the moving player if you're a system member. Concepts that you're in there. You're going to apply those when you play. That's great. But be careful about extending those expectations to a partner. Particularly, think about it like an open play and rec play in situations like that.

[00:05:40.190] - Speaker 1
The situation I was in was a form of open play. It was a group, but we were moving around partner to partner. Be careful about projecting your expectations about how the sport is played and the optimal way of playing onto your partner. Because, again, you're going to suffer from mental negativity yourself, potential negativity transmitted to your partner, which is very hard to avoid, and then lastly, impacting the energy. Rather than that, rather than projecting your expectations, accept your partner as they are. Now, there's an exception to this, which I'll talk about in a second, when you're working to improve as a team and you play together all the time. But if you're playing open play, you're playing in a rotational setting, just enjoy the game. Just accept the game as it comes. Accept the results as they come, not just of the whole game, but of the rallies. Your partner hits it to a place that is not ideal. Okay, move on. Set the expectations for yourself and your play and what you can control and understand that in those situations, you cannot control your partner. And setting expectations that are unrealistic for your partner is going to be counterproductive.

[00:06:45.650] - Speaker 1
Now, the exception that I note is if you're working together with a partner, so someone you play with regularly, you're trying to improve together, you're playing tournaments with a player, husbands and wives or partners who play together, things like that. In those situations, then Having productive conversations is fine. You can have a productive conversation with your partner. Again, if you're working together with them and you notice something, you can have a conversation about, well, maybe consider doing this a different way another time. But in most of our games, when we're in open play and rec play, It's like these games that are going on behind me, again, projecting your expectations on your partner is going to be counterproductive. Before you go into the game, be aware of that and try and avoid projecting the expectation before you start playing. In the minute, I'm going to talk in the rift about the French Open. Before we do, however, I want to remind you that we have our good friends at Total PickleBall, have a code that they've provided to us that allows on products that are eligible for this, allows for a camera, it was a discount or some a benefit, right?

[00:07:48.280] - Speaker 1
But I can tell you this, it doesn't affect your price negatively, and it helps support this podcast as well as all the other content that we try and provide for free to thepickleball community to help grow it. If you'd be so kind as if you're looking for something and Total Pickleball has it and you're good with the price, use the code. You may get a benefit, but no matter what, it will help support our podcast, and I'll put that down in the show notes here. Now we're going to dive into the Rift, and the Rift is, as you may know, the Rift is basically where I get to talk about whatever I want to talk about that I just came across recently from time to time. In this case, Yannick Center is playing Carlos O'Croise in the semifinals of the French Open. It was a five-setter back and forth, two young, great players, number two and number three in the world, battling at the French Open in what some would consider to be the actual finals, right? Even those are semifinals. But nonetheless, there was a great match. And Center had the lead early.

[00:08:44.700] - Speaker 1
Alcaraz tied. Sinner took the lead again. Alcaraz tied. And in the end, Alcaraz ends up winning in five sets. And so during the interview, Sinner was very humble, very mature about his responses to it. He was disappointed, which is Perfectly natural. As a human being, he expressed disappointment. But what I really like that he said that I think we can take with us is he said that basically, he recognized, first of all, there's two players on the court, him and Carlos. He says he looks forward to a lot more of these matches. Basically, the result of any of the matches between them, and they've played nine times, and I believe Carlos has won five and Center four. I could be wrong in terms of the order, but they're basically tied except for one. Basically, the idea is this. He said, One of us, me or Carlos, is going to be the winner and can celebrate, and that's great. The other one is going to have something to learn, is going to be able to grow as a player. You see how the Both sides win in that framing. You have the winner who gets to celebrate, and you have the loser who now has the opportunity to progress in the community to challenge himself in this context, because they're both men, but to challenge themselves in order to then next time, hopefully, try and win.

[00:10:04.350] - Speaker 1
That competition is what drives each one of them to improve. Having that more mature perspective will help us because if you're playing pickleball at a level, It's supposed to be a 50/50 proposition over the long term. You're supposed to win as much as you lose. Having a better framing for those times that you lose will help you feel not as bad as maybe you would if you didn't have that positive framing. That's this week's podcast. I hope you enjoy the podcast. As always, if you have time to rate and review it, please do. We appreciate you helping us reach as many players as possible. In that light, share with your friends because if you enjoyed the podcast, they probably will, too. Have a great week, and I'll see you next time from the studio.