Basic Motivations Webinar 2024

What is Basic Motivations Webinar 2024?

Every culture (family) has distinctive motivations for doing things, but they all have definite pattern and logic, they all provide order and direction within the culture (family). We need a valid cognitive styles model to help us understand the motives and actions of other people, to predict behavior, and sidestep conflict.

Connie Smith:

Don't mind me. I am totally distracted, and I can't keep two thoughts going. So just have to bear with me. So we're going to start with, where you have, put where you have put the person that you've chosen, on the

Mike Banker:

The careful casual?

Connie Smith:

Careful casual. Mhmm. Careful casual. Yeah. Okay.

Connie Smith:

That's, and, also, where where do you stand? Let's let's do that. No. That's never mind. So who's first on the list, Mike?

Mike Banker:

Okay. So Stone, I guess. Mhmm.

Carmen:

Yeah.

Stone:

This person, this person, the sister that I mentioned, she was more on the, dichotomy side, and, she she is more on the individual effort side. And, when comes to careful and casual, she's more on the careful side. So when I talk to him to her, she tends to represent herself without any mistakes, wrongdoing, even though sometimes she she did something that is not in not appropriate. She will think, oh, you you are having all the excuses. So it's like the blame shifting.

Stone:

And, he will say, oh, you are the one who's avoiding, the major topic here. So it's like the projection. And, even when I confronted her, she would awkwardly smiled without apologizing or saying anything. Yeah. So she couldn't be the wrong person.

Stone:

She she cannot making she cannot make any mistakes. It's never the other people who's making mistakes. So when I'm with her, I'm quite, like, open kind of people. I don't really mind showing my vulnerabilities. And, she sometimes feel shocked by me revealing my vulnerabilities, and she said, oh, you have security.

Stone:

So she does sense something from me. But when I'm with her, she would never share, you know, the personal struggles with me. I can, some kind of level sense that I'm only having interaction with her strong side. You know, she's very independent and strong and, very good lady, faithful lady. But when it comes to her own struggles, I never heard of him.

Stone:

I never heard of her talking any of that. Mhmm. Yeah. And, yeah, she she's a person who's more, like, quite stabilized kind of person. She will find a job and stay with it for many, many years.

Stone:

And when I'm talking about taking risk or facing uncertainties, that sounds quite crazy to her. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. She will also project on me saying, oh, Stone, you are just avoiding your social responsibility.

Stone:

You're not fulfilling your social responsibility. You're avoiding the pressure. Look at me. So, basically, she's she thinks it's the right thing to, you know, living in a standard format. And then, like, one go go to the work, come back home, get married, and, you know, do this and that.

Stone:

So it's there's a there's a template of living a standard life. And according to that standard, I'm out of that. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Very well done. K?

Mike Banker:

Mhmm. Okay. Carmen?

Carmen:

My pastor's wife should be on the casual side, but she's also someone who does good planning, I can see. I don't know. I I have enough observation of her to decide, but she did share, openly a lot of her personal testimonies, which was to build others up. She was very in her sharing, she will be very respectful of her husband. Yeah.

Carmen:

Not to mention, she will say I he she will honor him. That means she's also careful on the details. And they they went from the US to Myanmar, which would was a big risk. I think that shows she's like a typical American who's not fear afraid of taking risks. My impression of American like that.

Carmen:

We only talk about casual, careful, or other including other other No.

Connie Smith:

The other one that we didn't do

Carmen:

Okay. The other one is I think she's individualistic. Oh, okay. The first is time, then that called me, then what?

Connie Smith:

Selective. Select. Select. You have

Carmen:

your selective

Carmen:

side. She's also maybe this is from selective to being individualistic that, she leads the group. She leads women's ministry, used to include children's ministry, but now, she assigned a new leader for the children's ministry. And the women's ministry, we have a group on a social app. When someone out when some members post something that's not in agreement with her theology, she would quickly post something else to say this is not right.

Carmen:

This is not allowed. It happened several times and don't then no one would share anything. That was So

Connie Smith:

that that so that's, are you describing the individual effort? Or are you describing the the careful?

Carmen:

Individual or being directive, actually.

Connie Smith:

Oh, okay. So you've already determined that she was selective even more.

Carmen:

Selective in other in some ways. But

Connie Smith:

Yeah. Okay.

Carmen:

Also directive.

Connie Smith:

What what was she then in the,

Carmen:

Casual careful. I mean, she didn't mind sharing her testimony, but not casual not not like with anyone, but only in the women's ministry.

Connie Smith:

Mhmm. Okay.

Carmen:

And or with the mom's fellowship. She was intentionally to encourage others. But from the many different things this church does and not many churches in town do what they do. I see they are kind of adventurous. They they try different things.

Connie Smith:

Mhmm.

Carmen:

And they don't have to talk and talk for a long time before they decide to try something new.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So So that should they're casual.

Carmen:

The pastor

Connie Smith:

the pastor's wife then, you have as as more casual.

Carmen:

I didn't see perfectionism on her. I didn't see her judging anyone or blaming her.

Connie Smith:

Well, that's that's, that's a good evaluation. Okay. Okay.

Carmen:

If someone's right in the middle, it's hard to tell. Right?

Connie Smith:

Yes. But it then you work with them because they are in the middle. I mean, again, neither right nor left is is good or bad. It just simply helps us understand how to relate to them.

Carmen:

She's not very obvious on either side, I feel.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Alright. Who's else?

Mike Banker:

Okay, Cindy.

Carmen:

My son is really casual in the way he makes decisions. Boy, oh, boy. He has started many things just on a wing and a prayer, and he just throws against the wall and see what sticks. So, for example, he started this, details are not important. So he started this online business, and, because he had this which is a really good idea.

Carmen:

I mean, his ideas are very good, but because he doesn't pay attention to details, he gets into trouble. And so he started ordering all these things from China, and was planning on selling it in here in Vancouver. And, however, he did not when he set his selling price to sell it over here, he did not factor in the shipping cost. Right. And so the shipping cost, from here out so, you know, because he competes like you would be competing with Amazon.

Carmen:

And if you compete with Amazon, then if you buy $35, it's all free. So all these details, it's like he there are so many things. It's a wonder, actually, that he got his Eagle Scouts because that but the thing about that is because he is a, like, what is it? Dichotomous. He needs to he needs to, if it's laid out for him and he knows he has to reach a goal and but it's laid out for him and this is a must.

Carmen:

You cannot get your Eagle Scout unless you follow these unless you then he is motivated because he knows it then he'll follow. He's able you said it. But for him to come up with how to get from a to zed, no. No. No.

Carmen:

No. So he needs to have somebody who, you know, agrees with this idea. I mean, I mean, could,

Connie Smith:

affirm this. Supports him, comes along to support him.

Carmen:

Yeah. Exactly. However, because he is an an individual, he has his own ideas and he's gonna go he's gonna okay. Let's just say go, Son, you're not sure that's gonna be okay. I mean, I see.

Carmen:

These are the potential pitfalls. Well, so he'll so he will go it alone even though there's somebody who's willing to help. That's where he's gonna start taking off going off his own road because he wants he believes, like I said, because he's so casual that a wing and a prayer is gonna get him to the end. Because maybe by you know, I think maybe in his young experience, he has experienced where a wing and a prayer has gotten him to the end. And so he remembers that one little time and ignores all the other times.

Carmen:

And so he's hoping that, you know, this time, it's gonna be like that one time in the past, and that's and that's how he, Again, like one

Connie Smith:

of the things, one of the definitions said that they hope for success.

Carmen:

Yeah. He totally is a mister helper. Yep. He has strong hope.

Connie Smith:

Very good. Very good.

Mike Banker:

So, Cindy, I was, part of his board of review for Eagle.

Connie Smith:

Yep.

Mike Banker:

I was just amazed how I think a lot of people will follow him as a leader because he, he he truly likes people and engages with them, and people feel very safe around him. And and like you said, he has good ideas. I I just, I was really struck by that. It was it was surprising to me. I didn't know him that well.

Mike Banker:

But, anyway yeah.

Carmen:

Yeah. Well, it was a lot of, Scott and I helping him, like, do the being on time because he's an event person and he just gets caught up in the moment. Whatever he's doing at the time runs out. It it's never failed where it's part of it has to do with his ADHD. They have a tendency to wait to the last minute.

Carmen:

There's this fantastic video. It's hilarious of a of a guy who was on TED Talks who's talking about his ADHD and talking about the time monster. You know? It's like, until you get to the end, it's like, la la la la la la la la. And then it's like, oh my gosh.

Carmen:

My mind is tomorrow, and I better get moving. And so they need, like, fire under their seat in order to go. So because yeah. I don't know if, like, all all you know, all that's a sweeping bet. Perhaps many ADHD people fall under that event because they just they get caught up because they hyper focus.

Carmen:

They get caught up in the moment, and then all time disappears. All other responsibilities disappear because whatever's in front of them is the most important.

Mike Banker:

And It's so wonderful.

Carmen:

It's so yeah.

Mike Banker:

From their view. You

Connie Smith:

you can see just from what she's saying that, how do you work with this kind of person or that kind of person to help them? Otherwise, to help them get their task done, to help them, relate. And she's found that one of the things that her son needs is someone to help him determine the pieces in a in a timely fashion, because he's he's he's dichotomistic. Let's see.

Carmen:

You bet. He's very Yes.

Connie Smith:

He's dichotomistic, which struggles very, very, very difficult. You see, dichotomy is on one side and event is on the other. Yes. So there's always gonna be a struggle. I I have a good story about that, but we have too much to talk about today to, listen to my stories.

Connie Smith:

But, great despair in in the guy who is going through this because he was also at this point, he was holistic holistic in time. Yep. Okay. So there's a there's Sounds like my son. And probably pretty far to to the towards the more extreme on both of those.

Connie Smith:

And, the the frustration, I've seen this man, a cross cultural worker, delightful man of god. I've seen him in tears because he could not accomplish this in this amount of time, and he let down everybody. He let down God. He let down himself. He was a total mess.

Connie Smith:

He was a failure all because of this. And we had the privilege of of helping him sort this out so that he could indeed accomplish by understanding where he was, helped him to be able to live successfully in that contrast.

Carmen:

Yes. And I just I I mean, I'm very grateful to the Lord, to God, because of of he does know my son very well, and he knows what he needs, and he knows that he needs structure. And so I'm very grateful that the Lord has given him this opportunity to experience teaching, and now he's loves teaching. And so but in teaching, there is structure, and you've gotta show up to class on time as the teacher. You've got to mark.

Carmen:

You've got a grade. You've got to do all these things. And so it it allows him to be successful within you know, without it being, like, somebody's telling you what to do because he does not like that. But it that's the way it is for all teachers. It's not like saying, hey.

Carmen:

You you need to do this and this and that. It's like, okay. You teachers have to follow these these guidelines, these rules, these times. And so the details are given to him to help him to be successful. So I'm just extremely grateful that given who he is, that the Lord has provided this experience for him to, enjoy it enough because he's such an event person that enjoyment factors high, high, high, high, high.

Connie Smith:

And that event includes working with people.

Carmen:

Yeah. And he's such a people person.

Connie Smith:

There you go. So it all works. It's amazing. It's amazing.

Carmen:

It's amazing. I mean, you thread it together.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So you've given us some really, really good examples here. Very good. Alright. Who's next?

Mike Banker:

Hey. Next, I guess, Donna, you're up.

Carmen:

Okay.

Carmen:

My husband is sounds related to your son. On his event, he is holism and selective, and he is casual, I believe. The only thing I'm I see that he doesn't fit what the casual is. Mistakes are okay, reveals errors. He doesn't like to be wrong.

Carmen:

But everything else he says is pretty much my husband, even down to Eagle Scout. But I think, yeah, his even his pilot job was kinda the same as the teacher. You gotta be there at a certain time, and the the steps are laid out.

Stone:

So And

Connie Smith:

even the flying of the plane.

Carmen:

Yeah. The steps are

Connie Smith:

Checkpoints. Your your checkpoints. And you do that every time, and then and then it's this order so that it's all becomes very automatic. But everything is programmed for him to do.

Carmen:

Right. But the copilot and the captain and who's ever there, it's like, boy, they had a great conversation the entire 3 hours or whatever. So Yeah. And

Connie Smith:

then kind of what? I'm I I miss it. You

Carmen:

They had a great conversation, the 3 hours or whatever they're trying to do.

Connie Smith:

And everybody everybody works with Lovesy.

Carmen:

Oh, yeah. And then they end up

Connie Smith:

Oh, yeah.

Carmen:

And his other stays in his you know, they invited to his their cab him to their cabins and their

Connie Smith:

Yep.

Carmen:

Their weddings. And, I mean, he's

Stone:

you know?

Carmen:

Instead of

Connie Smith:

he

Carmen:

had funeral, I'm gonna have to rent the twins the twins stadium because there'd be so many people he knows. But, anyway

Connie Smith:

Where is he on the, striving part? The individual see, we missed this yesterday. That's why I'm we're taking 2 today. The individual effort or, relationships through individual or through, relationships?

Carmen:

Oh, relationships. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at the list.

Carmen:

He's distracted by family and friends for sure. Well, I guess he can be a little about each maybe.

Connie Smith:

Well, it depends on what it is he's doing perhaps. But I I would say given the rest of what he does, that he would be, doing things in relationship.

Carmen:

Yeah. He does. Yeah. He'll just yeah. He'll find someone spur of the moment.

Carmen:

If he's doing something and can't figure it out, he'll go outside and someone walks by the street and, hey. Can you come and help me with this? And Yeah. They stop everything and come in and help him. He's got a way of getting him to you know?

Stone:

Amazing.

Mike Banker:

So

Carmen:

yeah.

Stone:

Like you mentioned, your son is more on the casual side, and then now he's doing teaching. I think that if she has more experience on teaching, she will maybe slightly have more presentation on careful side. I mean, because I've seen some some so many things have been changed me. I used to be a very careful person while based on my culture background and the way I was raised up, and then I'm at 2 things really changed my tendency. So one thing is that I got I got sick, and I got a surgery.

Stone:

And after surgery, it really changed a lot of my, you know, my value system towards, like, how how how do I wanna live my life. And the second second thing is that I might Mac. So Mike is a very casual person, and I started to like, I learned a lot.

Mike Banker:

Yay. I have a casual disciple.

Carmen:

Yeah. I remember. Yeah.

Stone:

So I definitely think that I've changed a lot. Yeah. So I think that it's it's not like I'm 6 by this time. So it it only reviews me on this point. But maybe several months later or several years later or once something big happened in my life, and then that will maybe move further towards casual side or move to careful side.

Mike Banker:

It's Here's I I don't know why this comes to mind, but, yeah. I guess I do know why. So I have one dream that keeps repeating itself my whole life.

Carmen:

Interesting.

Mike Banker:

And and then this dream, I'm supposed to get somewhere, and I can't get there. I can't lift my feet, or I can't get a cab, or but before I go there, I'm supposed to get all my stuff together. But I go on like, my suitcase is missing. And then I find my suitcase. My suitcase is empty.

Mike Banker:

All the stuff that was supposed to be in it is, like, nowhere. So I have to go find and collect all my stuff, put it in the suitcase, and then I can't get wherever I'm going. I think this describes the effect of being too casual. Oh, too casual. I don't know if that's the right word.

Mike Banker:

Anyway, wanting to be, to get something done, to get somewhere, and always feeling hindered because of this, I don't know if it's the casualness maybe. But that's a dream that I consistently have over the years. It's like, wow. It's like the casual man's dream.

Stone:

That sounds quite anxious.

Mike Banker:

And yet I get stuff done. So it's like, I don't know why I have that dream, but I guess that's my, anyway. Now Denise never has a dream like this. Yeah. So okay.

Carmen:

Alright. Well, thank you. Yeah. Was

Mike Banker:

helpful. Alright. Maybe we should move on then. So I think Connie wanted us to, to look at our own I forgot what she said. We want to look at our how we stand with the last of the 6, continuums.

Mike Banker:

Right? Yeah. She teaches that. So so that would be, performing. And so under performing, there's status given and status earned.

Mike Banker:

So pull out your, your sheet that you filled out from your questionnaire. It says analysis on the top, and let's see where everybody stands on the questionnaire. So it'd be the very last of the continuums. Are you status or status status earned? And so where where does everybody stand?

Mike Banker:

I'm sorry. What?

Stone:

Carmen and I are both 10. So slightly worse status earned.

Mike Banker:

K. Okay. I'm gonna get mine. Alright. Wow.

Mike Banker:

That's interesting. Okay. So Stone and Carmen are Tim. Okay. How about Cindy?

Mike Banker:

Where you where do you land?

Carmen:

I am 12.

Mike Banker:

12.

Stone:

Right in the middle. Okay.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Donna?

Carmen:

I'm 11.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Okay.

Carmen:

What were you, Mike?

Mike Banker:

Yeah. And I I land on 4.

Connie Smith:

Woah. Wow.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Wow. That's interesting.

Carmen:

So that means

Stone:

that you're given our earned.

Mike Banker:

Alright. So let's go let's go through and look at the person's mind. Okay. We'll look at mine first. That's fine.

Mike Banker:

4 okay. Okay. Where's is 4 even on here? If your score is less than 5, you have a status earned orientation. You may occasionally shift towards status given.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. That's that pretty much describes me. I think that's true. I don't know if I'm that far though, but I'm kinda I'm big on status, though, for sure. Like, I don't care what letters are behind your name.

Mike Banker:

I'll listen to you and decide whether it's worth listening to. Are you guys shocked?

Stone:

No. I thought

Carmen:

I don't.

Carmen:

Either way, no.

Mike Banker:

No? You

Carmen:

know that? I just wanna share that. Reminds me, I read this book about, the guy the guy who started Hobby Lobby, which is a store that has home decor and craft stuff.

Mike Banker:

Uh-huh. And

Carmen:

he said when he has his meetings, he doesn't let anybody in the group introduce themselves as, you know, I am so and so the vice president. I'm so and so the secretary. I'm so and so the janitor. I'm so and so. He won't let anybody have any titles at the meeting because he wants everybody's input the same, I thought.

Carmen:

That's cool. And he's got a really good, really satisfied employees. I thought so that you would fit in really well with him.

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Yeah. Or the fact that, Richard never never emphasized that he has a PhD.

Carmen:

No. I know. I never knew it till I saw it in one of his books. I'm like, he never mentioned.

Stone:

Sir, he served in

Mike Banker:

I like that he doesn't emphasize it.

Carmen:

What you

Stone:

said? Richard also served in army, and we did I didn't know until I went to this funeral on online.

Mike Banker:

I'm sorry, Stone. What who was that?

Stone:

Richard served in the army.

Mike Banker:

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Stone:

Yeah. And we didn't know that until we've we went to this funeral. I went to the funeral online.

Mike Banker:

Uh-huh. Yep. Yeah. He didn't emphasize, he, he just wanted to be another one of the one another one of the group.

Carmen:

Yeah.

Mike Banker:

And I I like that actually very much. I like that. Alright. Let's look at the other sense. So, Carmen, you were let's see.

Mike Banker:

We have to find you here. You were you were in Tan, is that right?

Carmen:

Yeah. It was done. Yeah. Again, Carmen.

Mike Banker:

And, again, Stone. So, Ted, you're beginning to show some signs of status given. You're a mixture of both status given and status earned. So does that make sense to you, Carmen?

Carmen:

I'm not taking the the score so seriously. Okay. It shows it shows people around us, how we interact with them, I guess. Uh-huh. I need to while I answer these questions.

Carmen:

Because it can there can also be two ways. It's about how you see yourself and how you treat others. Right?

Mike Banker:

Mhmm. Right.

Carmen:

On their

Carmen:

how does it affect the like, you being yourself when you live amongst a status given commit community. You may you may behave one way. But if you live on most status earned community, you have to behave another way. I wonder if that affects the score because the score is asking about your actions. Right?

Carmen:

The questions. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

So Yeah.

Carmen:

I have

Stone:

the same problem with.

Carmen:

Mhmm. I'm seeing quite

Mike Banker:

Like, in China in China, it's it's kinda can be really tough to be a woman in China. Right? So status so I think a status, status given, status earned, culture culturally, that's, it can be very tough for a woman in China.

Carmen:

In China and Korea, it's very obvious status given kind of community. But Americans, would you say come like, as a group, Americans are more, like, on status earned side? Mhmm.

Carmen:

Or they're like

Mike Banker:

Yeah. Well, I don't know. You're asking the wrong one. I'm a 4. Maybe that's

Carmen:

I think most Asian country Eastern Asian countries most Asian Eastern Asian countries are status given.

Mike Banker:

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Stone:

They have something common with Chinese culture or Asian culture.

Carmen:

Mhmm. Chinese this number.

Stone:

They give outer people respect out of their age, not based on their performance.

Carmen:

Yeah. It doesn't matter how bad you behave.

Carmen:

You can be

Stone:

cursing people on the street, yelling at people, but still it is required to respect The

Carmen:

congress to respect.

Mike Banker:

I I love living in China. I love living in China because of status given, because I had white hair. So that was just and then I had a white beard, so I was giving you more status. It was great.

Stone:

Maybe that's why you were sent to China.

Mike Banker:

But, coming back to America is kind of a shock. You're old. You don't know anything. It's it's how it feels in comparison to Asia. So, alright.

Mike Banker:

So, Connie, we're just going people through people's scores on, status given and status earned. And so, Stone and, Carmen and Cindy are all tens.

Carmen:

No. I'm 12.

Mike Banker:

Oh, sorry. 12. I wrote that down wrong. Interesting. And Donna's 11.

Mike Banker:

And then I'm the outlier. I'm a 4.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. I know.

Mike Banker:

And so, where do you land, Patty?

Connie Smith:

On this one, I was an 8.

Mike Banker:

An 8. Okay.

Connie Smith:

And, the the turning point, I think, was the spat the fact that, even though I disagree or think the person is a bad person, I will still honor and respect him for his position. For ins no matter what I, we had one young man, for instance, who didn't like the president who was current at the time. And these are just some more illustrations, but couldn't, he didn't respect the the president of the United States that was president at that time. So we asked the question, if he came to your home, would you invite him in? Oh, there I go again.

Connie Smith:

Keep going, folks. I've gotta do this one.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Carmen:

Well, I would like to add to her point. I think I probably would have been more

Connie Smith:

What is this

Carmen:

status given if I had not read a book about watchman knee was a book really that really struck me about submitting to authority. And, you know, so that I think, like, some of my couple places where I have a 2, like, the director should have his own parking space or the teacher should go to the front of the line. I probably wouldn't have thought that before. I would have thought that wasn't fair as an American because we we tend to be so individualistic here and and criticize like like she said, criticize our leaders freely. But now having read that and learning about submitting in other words, honoring a position, not necessarily to separate the position from the person and honor the position that God's given them.

Carmen:

So that was an example of someone was mentioning. How Sloan, you're mentioning Stone, you're mentioning how you changed a little bit, and I can see that scenario that I've changed a little bit having heard that teaching. And I thought, okay. I need to not be rebellious in in my attitude toward a person. So

Carmen:

Yeah. I think that I can agree with that because I I think that it's also when I think about that passage in the bible, like, you know, submitting to your authority, and it's not because you like it, and but I think it is just like what you said about watching when you submit, honoring and what Connie said, honoring the position. And so that is also too I I feel that when you honor the position, even though the person is is not worthy of that honor however, I think that, it is a good example of, to others that because we live, especially in North America, under a very like you said, Donna, a very individualistic also to, just does not has a problem with authority.

Carmen:

Right. Rebellion.

Carmen:

Just Just it's like huge problem with authority. And so, you know, there was a woman in our organization, who went out, and she did not agree with her TL at all in the way

Mike Banker:

Team leader.

Carmen:

Sorry?

Mike Banker:

TL is team leader.

Carmen:

Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Team leader. And he because he was so careful in in a Muslim country of sharing the gospel in the way he shared the gospel.

Carmen:

And she was just going I she's she was just different. Like, she wanted to get the gospel out there. Right? So he, was reining her in and preventing her from sharing as often as she had when she went out into the countryside. And I really commended her for, you know, she said that even though I did not agree at all with my team leader.

Carmen:

However, because I was in his team, I had I chose I chose to respect his authority, and so I changed. And, and I finished the rest of my term under him. Obeying what he, you know, he asked, which was to go slow, be very careful because if you're not, then you jeopardize the whole ministry. And so, you know, slow but her her thing was he was too slow. And so I really and I I I really because for the sake of the whole so she she knew if she were to disagree and just storm off and say, hey.

Carmen:

You know? Like, why are you we're here to share you know? If she went and said all that, she knew it would actually be very disruptive to the team. And so for the sake of the team, she was careful to adjust the way that her thinking for the, for the sake of team. And I think that's so biblical that for the sake of others that I mean, it's important not to lose your identity and your, individuality.

Carmen:

But I think that in certain circumstances, I I I mean, I feel that if the situation warrants it and the message that we send to others and that ripple effect of our thinking on our behavior, if we don't consider that, I think that that is,

Connie Smith:

Okay. That's

Mike Banker:

Yeah. I, so I'm on the far end. And, so I I emphasize status earned, but I don't it's not that I ignore status given. Like, if there's if my team leader asked me to do something, I will do it. I'm not going to, go against him.

Mike Banker:

It's just that I would say it has more to do with, do I respect him? That has to do with whether he's doing the job. His team leader has responsibilities. Is he doing what he's supposed to? So my at a my respect level of respect might be different, but I'm not gonna disobey him.

Mike Banker:

I'm not gonna rebel against him in that way. But I suppose it may come out as an attitude thing if I'm not careful. So for me, the status status and authority, I don't connect those directly. I don't disobey. The I do recognize your position, and, I would respect them to a degree.

Mike Banker:

I think that's the right way to say it. It's kinda like, okay. It's let's just use a father as an example. I would go to the store and buy a Father's Day card, but I'm gonna buy the card that's consistent with my heart, not the one that sounds the best. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

Okay. So I can't I can't go there. That's that's what I'm trying to say, but I would not publicly, in some way, disobey them or disrespect them in in front of others. I wouldn't do that. But anyway but so I agree with you, Cindy, is that there's a position, and we we need to honor the position and not go against them if they're in a position authority also with that with that status.

Mike Banker:

But status is a lot of things. Like, like I said status because they had white hair and white beard. But, like in China, women have a certain status. And it's different in the city than it is from the village also, I think. And so, it's not always about authority.

Mike Banker:

I think it it has to do with a position, whether it's author authoritative position or not. Children have a different status too. You're a child. I'm the adult. You should listen.

Mike Banker:

That's one. That's but some parents have the attitude that I'm your friend. And so the status given to the child is that of a friend, not a status of a child. But so I I think in terms of responsibilities of a given position, that goes with status. So that's why it's earned, I think, not not just given.

Mike Banker:

Or what makes you a father? Is it just because you contributed to the you contributed the sperm? Is that it? No, it's so there's more to it than that. There's a list of responsibilities.

Mike Banker:

So I think that's why it comes down strong in the forest. Probably, I'm a little biased from all the sessions I've done, I suppose. I don't know.

Carmen:

Well, from the list of questions, what I say, I cannot take the scores so seriously because after I understand what this is, about, the questionnaire. For example, the first question. Every question is aimed to find out your, tendency on on this one continuum. But when I answered it, I may be thinking something else that affected my answer. I didn't choose to use the garage instead of my neighbor because I thought the garage was more more professional, I guess.

Carmen:

But because maybe in this neighborhood, it's not convenient to use neighbor or what. It it depends. And, like, for example, question

Carmen:

Depends on your neighbor. If your neighbor

Stone:

is more professional, that's the one you go to.

Carmen:

Yeah. It depends. So it's not always about status. And, for example, question 10 question 10, to say hi. When you if you live among the American English native speakers, no one say sir.

Carmen:

Right? Even to our older people. Right? Everyone say everyone is, like, created by God. It's equals on status or identity.

Carmen:

But if you live in a if I live in a Asian community, like in Korea community, I have to say or even amongst the village Chinese community, I must use titles with everyone behind their name. So that will that will change my answer. So the number the scores show my community's interaction with me. It may not show who I am. That's what I mean.

Carmen:

And on the other questions, if I think carefully, why a teacher should be able to give go to the head of the line at lunch? No. No. No. Because that happened in China.

Carmen:

It's not about you respect authority or or not. But in China, authorities take privilege. Like, they they misuse their authority and people suffered. So, of course, we won't choose to give them any privilege. Everyone should be treated equally.

Carmen:

No boss should have his parking lots because that happened and caused lots of tragedies.

Mike Banker:

Interesting.

Carmen:

Yeah. That may not show what's the test really want. I wonder. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Well, it testing a lot of things, but what it was mainly testing is you. It wasn't testing your culture. But that's beside the point. You are somewhere. I wasn't aware of where on the status.

Connie Smith:

This is a hard one to to talk about, and this is one that, everybody has status. But, anyway, have we done any teaching or just talking?

Mike Banker:

No. We just been About our scores? We just talked about the scores and Mhmm. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So, so we kinda have an idea whether you're tending towards earned or tending towards given. And, so you have some point of reference as to remember neither side is good or bad, and neither side is right or wrong. It's what how that's acted out that can become sin, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But we're not judging for sin or not sin.

Connie Smith:

We're judging because god is all of these things. Okay? So, again, I reiterate, number 1, these scores are not absolutes, but it will give you an idea whether you or the culture or the person that you're looking at is tending more towards the earned or tending towards the given. Okay? So let's let's go through this and see if we can see some illustrations and and so on.

Connie Smith:

Okay? Mhmm. You probably still have questions as you probably will always have questions. But we'll try then to answer the questions as we go along. Okay?

Connie Smith:

Mhmm. Yep. Alright. So performing. This perspective focuses on the positions that we have in society and the expectations in fulfilling them.

Connie Smith:

One side of this continuum emphasizes our status, our position in society that gives us the status, and we don't lose, gain, or you can't gain that status, and you can't lose that status, particularly, anyway, at at until you're elected out and no longer have that status. Okay. Anyway, the other side emphasis our role or how our performance gets us that status or, loses that status. The heavyweight, I think this is this would be in boxing. You can tell I'm a real, real sports enthusiast.

Connie Smith:

I think this would be in in boxing where you have the, world, heavyweight champion. That's who you are. Because you've just done all this, but now you are that. But you're only that until the next fight that you lose, and then you're no longer that anymore. So that would be, status given or status earned?

Mike Banker:

Status earned.

Connie Smith:

Pardon?

Mike Banker:

Status earned. Yeah. The Absolutely.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. When it, you can lose it. You you know, whatnot. Okay. So, anyway, those of us who have an orientation towards status as given show respect or disdain for certain positions in society and expect others to do the same.

Connie Smith:

The caste system of India, at least what India used to have, I don't know where they are today. But in their caste system, you could not, you you were stuck in your caste. You were born into that caste. And you could not, that's just who you were. And everybody related to you out of that.

Connie Smith:

If you were born in the lowest class, you couldn't even hope to get out of it. If you're born in the privileged class, you would never become a lower class. That would be status given or status, earned.

Carmen:

Given? Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Very given. Yeah. Is it just Nobody nobody even, thought of fighting to to change their status. They accepted their status. Okay.

Connie Smith:

So status given. We may consider people special because of their parents, their race, their gender, or their age. As Americans, we emphasize usefulness and consider the aged as having finished their useful lives. Now does every American feel that way? No.

Connie Smith:

K. But as as an as America, that is the culture. This is in contrast to Ethiopia, for example, where the elderly are automatically considered a resource of wisdom and counsel. The Matzah were both status given and status earned depending on the setting. They were status given in the way that women were kept out of the religious rights except in subordinate ways, And the tribe considered themselves superior, and other tribes, and especially foreigners, as totally inferior.

Connie Smith:

I mean, they were the center of the universe as they knew the universe to be. The Matzah were firstborn of the tribes, so, therefore, they were special. That is an indication of status given. We will try to behave in keeping with our position. So if you're on the lowest cast, you are not going to be doing whatever you can do to become part of the higher class.

Connie Smith:

But you are what you are. So we will try to behave in keeping with our position, and we will tend to associate with people of our same station in life. We will look upon those who do not give respect to the proper people as disrespectful, ill mannered, and to be avoided. We who have an orientation towards status earned, judge ourselves and others based on our accomplishments. People must earn our respect.

Connie Smith:

Sometimes, once you have earned that, then no matter whether you, are a good person or not a good person, once you have earned that, that title, then a status given person will tend to respect you not for your what you've done, but because of your position. Does that make any sense? Just as in a status given society, the guy on the lowest rung well, let's leave out the the cultural difference, out. A person that is at the lowest rung, coming from a family of nobody in the family has has any education. This is the first one to graduate high school, first one to go to college, and the first one to get his PhD.

Connie Smith:

Now that PhD was earned. It was not given. He was not born into it. He was given that. But now that he is the PhD, status given people will tend to think that he is now the

Mike Banker:

Expert.

Connie Smith:

The expert in everything. Mhmm. In everything. I have a number of examples for that, but, our time is really limited today because of my interference and stuff here. So, anyway

Mike Banker:

So, Connie?

Connie Smith:

Yes.

Mike Banker:

I have a example. Is, I met this man in Chiang Mai who is from India, and he was Christian. Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

But

Mike Banker:

his last name was status given. If you heard his last name, people would literally bow at his feet in India just because of his last name.

Carmen:

Mhmm.

Mike Banker:

And so Wow. But then he also became a renowned chef, Indian chef. Mhmm. So that's a status earned. People love to eat his food.

Mike Banker:

I said you have, like, the perfect set of tools here. You tell them your name, they bow at your feet, you invite them to dinner, and then you share the gospel.

Carmen:

What is in black, Nick? I'm just curious. What's

Mike Banker:

Oh, I can't remember. Isn't that sad? I thought that's such an important

Carmen:

That would be so interesting to know. That last name is so

Mike Banker:

revered. That's sad.

Connie Smith:

Like I

Mike Banker:

said, you just have the perfect setup. You're gonna go a long ways. Don't don't stop cooking. I said, no.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Let's see. Where was I? Status earned people, may ignore formal credentials, degrees, and titles, and consider just the person, not their rank or position. Richard, for instance, definitely earned his PhD, but he even the purpose of that was the same as his earning his MA.

Connie Smith:

He the the first MA anyway, was so that he would have a credential to add to his name for being able to get into Ethiopia to do a PhD, a a master's degree work. So he was not after. What I'm trying to say is it didn't matter to him whether he had an an MA or a PhD or an x y z. They the degree meant nothing to him. What he learned now, that was that was really interesting to him.

Connie Smith:

But he was not interested in the degree. But he got it because it was needed to be able to fulfill a requirement to be able to do what god had asked him to do. K? Most by the time he got his PhD, some of of his books, he was convinced to put his PhD initials after his author's name. But if you notice, most all of his books do not have that because it meant nothing to him.

Connie Smith:

He did not want this ministry, this the, oh, the the the nonprofit to be called Richard Smith Ministries. No. He said, I do not want this is not my work. This is not my ministry. And thus, we became Cross Resources after another other names that we and so on.

Connie Smith:

So, well, he did a a lot of things in working with status giving given groups where his title, his dress, his things he did were important. But he had to adapt his status earned to cover that, to be able to work on to work with status given people. Okay? The Matzah leadership was never handed down father to son, which would be status given. A chief was one who knew he was the chief, shaman of the whole area.

Connie Smith:

A chief was one who knew more about the ancestors, who never got angry, who was a righteous mate, who would give the shirt off your back, let's see, and who, was followed because others recognized his wisdom and were willing to follow him. So they they were that was status earned. He earned this position. In fact, just as a point of interest here, when we finally got to the point where we had some stories on, on records, about Jesus so that they could learn about Jesus. They were so excited about this Jesus because he was just like Mario, the chief shaman

Carmen:

Oh, wow.

Connie Smith:

Who would have given his life for his people. Mhmm. And who had power to heal and did good things. And I've seen him. What we've literally seen him.

Connie Smith:

There were few pieces of clothing when we first got into the tribe. But they began to see that people from the outside wore clothes. And so I saw one time they heard the plane was coming, and I saw, Mario had a shirt. He didn't have any pants, but he had a shirt. And, he actually took his shirt off and gave it to one of the younger men so that the younger man could be okay to meet these foreigners.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. He also loved Richard so much that when Richard got really, really, really sick one time, he came to heal him. And we knew this was done out of love, so we allowed him to do his business over him, but, of course, we asked God to cover it and, not allow anything from the kingdom of darkness to be a part of it. And, it didn't work, but but out of respect for who he was and building a relationship with him, because he had the power to say we could stay or not stay. He had the power to do anything.

Connie Smith:

But Richard stepped under his leadership and always asked permission for everything that he did with, with his people. Anyway, we really, anyway, too many stories. Okay. So, Mario was followed because he he demonstrated all of these things. And, Miguel now wanted to be a shaman.

Connie Smith:

He wanted that place of honor, respect, and power. But because he was rough and had a temper, he was disqualified. Now this is this is that that role was under status earned.

Carmen:

Sorry. Which country is this one in?

Connie Smith:

Well, that doesn't particularly matter, but it's the headwater of the Amazon in Colombia.

Carmen:

On Colombia. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Not that they knew that they were in Colombia. They they had they had no concept of countries or anything else outside themselves and had had virtually no experience from anybody from the outside. We, we, who are status earned, will measure prestige and success by accomplishments and wealth or having having attained something. We honor very highly the self made man. Okay.

Connie Smith:

So now let's look at some so there's an illustration on somewhere around page 37 b is what it is in my in my copy. And, there is a a an example given that looks like this. And says, a status given, the position that we're talking about is that of teacher. So the status given accepts the right to be a teacher and so performs as such, Even though it was earned, he simply is that now, so he acts out of it. The status earned person earns the right every day to be a teacher by performing as a teacher.

Connie Smith:

So the status given accepts the right to be a teacher, so his his status is teacher. And his performance, he teaches, acts with authority, dresses like a teacher, etcetera, because he or she is the teacher. This was very, very important. So many examples from Ethiopia too. We did not see this, but we heard of it.

Connie Smith:

Okay? An expat came to be a teacher at one of the universities, in the master's in a master's program. So he's dealing with people who are, students who are in the master's program. So being from a, from a culture who's very relational at the, at the master's level The master's level, you know, you're you're past the stage of being told the information. The master's is an interaction kind of degree, and that, you're expected to learn from the outside sources, but you are also being told by outside sources.

Connie Smith:

But you're also required to have some input into this. You're not just taking in. Is that not a a a reasonable thing to say about the difference between the BA level and the master's level? Okay? So the 1st day that this, expat came into this class, number 1, he he was very casual.

Carmen:

And,

Connie Smith:

in dress. He was very laid back. And the first thing he wanted to know from them was getting to know you kind of questions. And then he said, so what project would or what topic would you like us to start with? I mean so what did they do?

Connie Smith:

They actually picked him up bodily and threw him out the window. Now he wasn't hurt, but that's not the truth. The point is, you're the professor. You should be telling us you should not Mickey Mouse around with all of this stuff. You should know what you're going to teach us.

Connie Smith:

This was in Colombia? No. This was in Ethiopia. Oh,

Carmen:

gosh. Okay? Interesting.

Connie Smith:

Was that Ethiopia? No. That wasn't even Ethiopia. That was that was the case in in, North Africa. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

And why we heard about it is because that's where we were running the program as students of professor Smith. And all of them were actually registered at a at a at a college. So let's see. So, anyway

Mike Banker:

So, Patty, that wasn't the 17th floor window, though, Rhett?

Connie Smith:

No. Well, I I I wasn't quite sure about that. All I do know is that he survived the teacher the professor survived enough to, to moo to leave the country because he was not accepted by his students. Okay. So the students in that case okay.

Connie Smith:

Yes. So the, this so this, what did the students where were they? Were they at the status given or this or the status earned?

Carmen:

It's given.

Connie Smith:

Okay. It may be given, but you had to, you did not perform well. Yeah.

Mike Banker:

He wasn't He

Carmen:

didn't fit

Mike Banker:

that he didn't meet the he's an imposter. He's not a teacher. Look how he dresses. Oh, he's

Connie Smith:

not a professor. Get rid of him. An imposter, as you said. Yes. Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

So the position of teacher in that culture is given or earned? Given. Given. Okay. Okay.

Connie Smith:

It's it's given. If you're a professor, then you should behave this way.

Mike Banker:

Mhmm. It's

Stone:

based on performance.

Connie Smith:

And you are not a professor because you did not fulfill this. Okay? So that was the position of teacher anyway. Alright. So the status earned, teacher earns the right to be a teacher by performing.

Connie Smith:

So he goes out, and he teaches. He acts with authority. He dresses like a teacher, etcetera. So he or she will be accepted as a teacher. Because the reason that this all failed is because the teacher the professor The professor did not, had was be, behaving anyway, it's not on this continuum of that happening other than the fact that the status, the status itself was given, but the performance was not up to par.

Connie Smith:

So it's all kinda mixed up. But I thought that's a very, very good example. It's a very much an example of careful versus casual also. And I have, I have several bad ill, illustrations at work. Oh, never mind.

Connie Smith:

Oh, father, help me. Alright. So status, given. Let's talk about let's go through these things now. People have status who value status have standards for assigning respect or disrespect to themselves and to others.

Connie Smith:

They will try to live according to their positions in society. Worth and importance are given to both the people and to their positions. Worth of importance. It doesn't say whether they're good at their job or not good at their job. Whether you like them or don't like them, you will respect their position.

Connie Smith:

And thus, as I started at one point, to, of the illustration of this participant in the course who we were talking about, he he said anyway, I gave the illustration of if the president of the United States what? Because this point, that group were were, Americans. Would walk into your would come and knock on your door. Would you if you he's the president, remember. But if you did not like him and his performance, would you have him in your home?

Connie Smith:

Allow him into your home. And this fellow says, absolutely not because he that is not this, and he's not that. And, you know, I don't think he's a good president. And, this is where my label now comes comes to be more status given at this point, because I was able to say, well, I, I'm sorry. For me, the fact that he is the president, that position deserves respect and honor, and I would gladly let him into my home out of respect for the office, not necessarily respect for the man.

Connie Smith:

And that seems to put me over on the status given okay. Recognize that the positive terms of status and significance can be defined negatively. So status can mean that you're at the bottom of the heap, or it can mean that you're the top of the heap. Status, there's nothing wrong with the word status. We all have status in much of our world.

Connie Smith:

We treat, we have a in Colombia, there were well, here's a very good one that shows a difference, In the many, many moons ago, when the Christianity was first brought to China, It was done through the basically, the Catholic church. And the, the Franciscans of the Catholic church who belong to the to that order, they came as servants. And they took lowly jobs and and helping jobs and that kind of thing. And their respect level was that of servant. But when the Jesuits came, they came as teachers and clockmakers, otherwise, as experts, and they were given honor, and they were listened to and so on and so forth.

Connie Smith:

Now were either of those things right or wrong? Were the Franciscans wrong? Or were the, Jesuits wrong? No. Okay.

Connie Smith:

So who were the Franciscans going to end up relating to for the most part?

Mike Banker:

The, lower class?

Connie Smith:

Yeah. And who were the professionals, the teachers, and the clockmakers, the experts in a trade? Who were they going to basically relate to?

Mike Banker:

The higher class.

Connie Smith:

A higher class of people.

Mike Banker:

Including the scholars.

Connie Smith:

Yes. Oh, yes. That's where they hit

Mike Banker:

Probesian the

Connie Smith:

slow stuff. Yes. And you go back and you study the history, both both did well. And Christianity began to be introduced to China. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Let's go on here. Well So Abel go ahead.

Mike Banker:

Just an example is PR in China. It was determined that safe helpers would come from all demographics the same demographics as the church, that they they would include both the lower classes and, farmers and and factory workers, but also include professors and doctors and highly educated people. Because you have to reach all of them. So why would you pick 1? You know?

Connie Smith:

Yeah. A really good, another good example of this is I don't know if you're acquainted with the group. Did I talk to you all about, women's aglow group? Okay. It is it was very, very well known in earlier days, and it is, it has more charismatic aspect to Christian women.

Connie Smith:

And and, like I said, it had an international kind. So this 1 year, they were going to hold their international conference. No. They were holding a conference in, Guatemala, I believe it was. Anyway, one of those Central American countries.

Connie Smith:

I believe it was Guatemala. So, they sent out invitations to, the this day. I'm doing a lot of ahs today. Goodness. They sent out invitations to the women to a beautiful luncheon at a high class hotel.

Connie Smith:

And so hundreds of people of women came to this. And but it did not go well. Did not go well. The people were not relating. The women were not relating one to another.

Connie Smith:

They were, they were fidgety. They were just it's an was an uncomfortable luncheon. So in trying to understand what happened, the leaders came to the conclusion that they had 2 different classes, status of women trying to relate to one another at a social gathering. At so, basically, the higher class people who would naturally have gone to this, high class hotel and who knew, they were the same level economic level. It wasn't a class thing.

Connie Smith:

It was an economic level of people who were, you know, housemaids and and, nonprofessional kind of women who would never even dream of being in this hotel unless they were part of the cleaning crew. So what they did to see to see if this was really the case, the next event that they held, next luncheon they held there, they send out, invitations to them all, but they send it out that they had prepared for this luncheon at 2 different locations. 1 was in the ritzy section of town, and the other one was in the oh, we might even say it wasn't in the, you know, down at the bottom of the pit, but it was maybe a a a 3 class hotel or a 2 class hotel rather than a 5 or 12 or whatever the big numbers are. And so these two locations so at your convenience at your convenience, you could register for 1 or the other. Well, what they end up ended up with, 2 groups of women who were just utterly enthralled and praising God for this opportunity of meeting together as they interacted and got to meet new other believers because the ones that would relate to the high class the 5 star hotel went chose to do that one.

Connie Smith:

And the ones who were more comfortable at the 2 or 3 star hotel so they both had lovely luncheons. But your group of people that gathered, they tended together to like people like levels economic levels. It was important that they be able to recognize what was going on. And so from then on, in many of these diversely, economic level groups, they tended from then on to have their luncheons at 2 2 different locations or even their convention at 2 different locations. And I thought that was that was eve that happened long before, we got into all of this.

Connie Smith:

But looking back and recognizing that, that's that came at this status. The people who are of the same status, birds of a feather flock together. Okay.

Mike Banker:

So

Connie Smith:

Now it wasn't

Mike Banker:

So, Connie, the so, like, by having 2 locations and some people of high class who were willing went to to the hotel, that was lower class and vice versa?

Connie Smith:

Because, you know, it was closer to home or or or whatever their reason may have been. Mhmm. But also, people of this lower economic class who wanted to go

Mike Banker:

Right. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

To the high the 5 star, They were well able to do that. Nobody made a judgment as to they didn't send out separate invitations.

Mike Banker:

Right. Right.

Connie Smith:

They invited everybody either one. To choose which one of these they wanted to go to. Maybe they were not at the same day or maybe they were not at the same time to take care of people who couldn't be there this Saturday, but could be the next and so on and so forth. But what ended up being is that people who had something in more in common and in a place that they were comfortable with we're both able to be ministered to and receive blessings from God. That's all.

Connie Smith:

Yep. Oh, okay. They will expect, they will show respect to people according to the standards that society has set. Let's see. For instance, for the most part, people do not have much respect for, drug addicts and alcoholics.

Connie Smith:

And that would be like like a cultural, disrespect. The what used to be called the Maku, they now have a a more appropriate name, because this one was that that was found to be a derogatory term, or it put them in their place, I should say, were a slave tribe. And their their name, reflected that. And so they were a slave tribe and that they were the servants of everybody around. They were looked down on.

Connie Smith:

They were not allowed privileges. As civilization encroached on their area, they were not allowed the the privileges that, that, other group other ethnic groups were. They now have, scripture in their languages and church established, etcetera, etcetera. Because there were people who were willing to go and live under this this negative influence from the outside, being one of the slave group. What country is this that is that slave group?

Connie Smith:

Colombia.

Carmen:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

I mean, we were working in 54 different tribal groups, all different in Colombia alone. Wow. So this this none of this reflects Colombian culture.

Carmen:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

Okay? I mean, it may be reflect it, but in my illustrations, the illustration is from the tribal group, not the country. I have, a dear, daughter, in the Lord, but a daughter who has the the belief that her sister, who is a pastor and she is married to a pastor, but who treats Joe as absolute dirt, terrible, terrible person to Joe. And also, some other sins that are in the church and, but but it it it just but just And so all of these years that we've known

Mike Banker:

So, Connie, you broke up for about a minute there.

Connie Smith:

Oh, dear.

Mike Banker:

So you're talking about this sister, and her sister's pastor. Her husband's a pastor. That's that's where it left off.

Connie Smith:

So now we're there. Alright. Now this sister is terrible to Joe, And the the husband is no better, and they are let's just put it this way. They are not good representatives of Christ as pastors even. But they're both whole kinda high positions and are well known in the area.

Connie Smith:

And so the the very cruel to, to and this all has to do with a whole cultural pattern of choosing 1 in the family to be the scapegoat, and everything that's wrong is their fault. And and and and besides just being a wicked person to Joe. So she spreads rumors about her. She she's just mean to her in every way. But still, Joe believes that because they are she and her husband are pastors, that God hears them and not her.

Connie Smith:

She always wants me to pray for whatever else. She always wants me to pray for her because God will hear my prayers because I was a missionary. I was a no. I wasn't a missionary. I was a Bible translator.

Connie Smith:

So what I've learned to do with her is to say, well, what do you want me to pray? And then I would say, I'll tell you what. Why don't you ask your heavenly father for that or about that? And I will come along and be in agreement so that God will answer our prayer. But, anyway, now here's a person that she has both both both the husband and the wife, she also found out that there was some sexual abuse going on in the home, and she confronted them being Anyway, so she confronted them on this and then went to tried to go to a higher authority, but blah blah blah blah.

Connie Smith:

Anyway so, anyway, she still believes that God judges her on the basis of what her sister says about her tells him about her. And we've been working with this problem now for since 1991 or 2. I mean, this is just one of one of many things we've worked on over these years. But, anyway. Alright.

Connie Smith:

So where would she stand? Would she be status given or status

Mike Banker:

alright. That's given.

Connie Smith:

Absolutely given. These were these couple should not even be in ministry. And here, she believes with all of her heart that God hears those who are in his service with this label. I was a Bible translator. Therefore, I know it all.

Connie Smith:

And I I everything I say is right, and everything I I say about the word of God is absolute truth because I was a Bible translator. Her sister has great power over her life and in the extended family over her life because she says these terrible things about Joe, and nobody can quite understand why Joe doesn't wanna be around her. So it all becomes poor Joe really needs to get her act together. She needs to forgive her sister and come back and have a relationship in the family. Well, how can you have a relationship with a rattlesnake?

Connie Smith:

You know? And Joe just simply cannot believe that God judges her by looking at her and knowing her. Nope. That's not what my sister told him. And so would you pray that he would do?

Connie Smith:

There. I said, anyway alright. So they might equate birth by I mean, worth by birth. So the first born is the most important. There was a period of, okay.

Connie Smith:

Or you're the firstborn, or you're born into the Royal Society, or you're the firstborn of a set of twins amongst the matzah was a person, but the second born twin needed to be killed because he will turn out to be a monster every time. He will not ever be a human. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. I know.

Connie Smith:

I know. But you don't teach against that until you understand why they do it. K? And that you can help bridge the gap into the why before you attack infraside. Alright?

Connie Smith:

Then in, in India, there used to be this terrible caste well, now, Sam, that was a judgment term. This caste system, which kept certain people down, whether they're good people, smart people, or really bad people, kept them in their place and different levels up to the very top one who did no wrong and was practically worshiped as a god. Okay? It may be by race. So whether you're, black, white, green, or purple, or whether you're, a blue eyed blonde, whether you're big busted.

Connie Smith:

It's my understanding from talking to some Korean women and their obsession with getting their eyes

Mike Banker:

Almond shape. Yeah. Is that the

Connie Smith:

So the best thing to do is to have cosmetic surgery and get your your eyes almond shaped and not oh, because Oh. The the normal is not is not beautiful, and the almond shape is more beautiful. Mhmm. Or, wow. Look at that gal walking down the street.

Connie Smith:

She's really got big boobs. Wow. I really like to get to know her. Okay? There was a, a travel group.

Connie Smith:

I can't remember what they were that we met in in, Mexico. Really southern Mexico. And, what we were in jungle camp. And the most erogenous area of a woman's body was her ankles. So they could go topless, but they made sure that their skirts were dragging the ground so their ankles wouldn't show.

Mike Banker:

K.

Connie Smith:

Or it might be by gender. Male or female. I mean, I I understand that that this was quite prevalent during a one child, obligation. And, okay. Gender is very much marked in, the Mattson language, and you could do something.

Connie Smith:

Women women with a bride price. The exchange of women with a bride price. So plan a, plans could not marry within themselves because that would be incest. So your your, your wife had to be chosen from someone from another clan, and the rule was that if you give me one of your women, then we will give you one of our women. Now this this woman might be a child, but they would wait until the child had her first menses before she would be traded.

Connie Smith:

Okay? So I I mean, this all sounds so weird to us that but the women that that was the bride price, is that we exchange women. Because the women were the whole workforce. I think any man I think any man amongst the matzah would actually die of starvation if there wasn't a woman to prepare the food. That was not only a dichotomistic kind of thing.

Connie Smith:

But this point is that status, your role was determined by whether you were male or female. Males also had their job, but, anyway, you get my point. Let's see. What does that mean? Anyway okay.

Connie Smith:

I have some more, but let's get through these. They will expect others to show the same respect or disrespect for a position. The worth of a person may be based on outside factors. Their birth, for instance, if you're born into a royal family, you are more worth. I'm not talking money wise.

Connie Smith:

I'm talking you're more valuable as a person because you are part of the royal family. You might be a 14th cousin twice removed, but you're of the royal family. It may based on genetics and all this kind of stuff. Well, we just talked about that. Status given degrees, credentials, and past experiences are important and deserve respect.

Connie Smith:

They will sacrifice to achieve a higher position. Now how can that be status given? I think that's been mislabeled. Anyway, people who will sacrifice to achieve a higher position would be status earned, I would think. Yes.

Connie Smith:

Not given. And, however, the person with status given, their degrees, their credentials, and their past experiences are important and deserve respect. The military is a good example of that one. The enlisted man, there are clubs he can go into, then that the, noncommissioned officer cannot go into and vice versa. And there's a 3rd club for the officers, and you never find that ever violated.

Connie Smith:

Credentials and prestige. Okay. I went to Harvard. Okay. Already, I'm up here.

Connie Smith:

Whoo. Wow. She must really be smart and really And everybody gives respect to someone from Harvard or Yale or any of the the big number big names. But talk about, Biola University. Well, when I started there, it was still the Bible Institute of Los Angeles.

Connie Smith:

When I started there, by the time I graduated from there, we were Biola College. But now we're Biola University, and the only people that know about us are basically Christians on the West Coast. But we are amongst the these days, we are amongst the, the the hundred the hundred best universities for, educational standard. But nobody cares whether you went to Biola or not. But, man, I did that from Yale or Stanford.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Let's see. Okay. Here's one that that I think is really, really cute. We had a dear friend who just this this month has gone to glory.

Connie Smith:

And when we first got acquainted with him, he had come to, we were home on on sleep, and he had just come to audition. That's not what you do. But audition for us, choosing him as a new pastor. And, anyway, I reminded him of his sister. And so he he he really we were good friends.

Connie Smith:

Our families were good friends. And we got to know them well. Then when they left the church and we were on the field again, he started his ministry. We supported one another in many, many different ways. But Harold had this this interesting thing.

Connie Smith:

He would be talking along in a normal voice, in a normal animation, and you and then you would ask him a either a biblical question or a question, a point of asking his advice. And suddenly, he would slow down, and his voice became very, very pastoral. No. When he was teaching or preaching, his voice would change. His manner would change.

Connie Smith:

Even his gestures would change. Okay.

Mike Banker:

What? Nice done.

Connie Smith:

And, anyway, I just thought that was really interesting, but he he really worked into his goal into his role. He was really performing his role. Then, Atotamaru, who was the one I talked about who didn't know what to do next when he came to the end of the instructions. So he didn't even go on and translate the next verse or the next passage. He just stopped because he hadn't been told to go on.

Connie Smith:

Okay. He was a deacon in his church. And one day, we were trying to move from one building to another building, and we were having to set up chairs for something. Setting up desk and chairs. And he was very, very adamant about not doing that, participating in that because deacons don't do manual work.

Connie Smith:

There have been societies that we have lived in. In the tribal group, for instance, Richard shaved every day because hair did not grow on the bodies of these people, and so anybody that was hairy was more than likely a monster. And for people would Richard had a lot of hair on his arms, for instance. And they would rub his arm, and they would look at his eyes, and then they'd rub his hair some more because they don't have, body hair. And but he also then didn't grow a beard, so he shaved every single day.

Connie Smith:

Now when he was a professor in this North African country, a professor was older and wiser, and he had a beard, a person of importance. And a religious person, particularly of importance, had a beard. So he always had a beard.

Mike Banker:

That's an application of Paul Paul's verse about, being all things to all people.

Connie Smith:

Absolutely. Absolutely. Another thing, is we have one of the larger churches that, took an eldership role over us and or accountability role, I should say, over us, and who formally sent us out at one point and who supported us for over 17 years. It's a church you you would you would know about, if I said and then pastor and all of that. But, we used to say of the of the interns, the seminary students who were in interning in the church, we used to say that they became, they become elders by clonship.

Connie Smith:

Otherwise, you dressed exactly exactly like the pastor. I mean, it was a certain color, a certain color tie, and, of course, full suit. Never never never anything more than a full or less than a full suit. And you could just point them out. They've just stood out.

Connie Smith:

Okay. But on the opposite side of things, in status, status

Mike Banker:

Earned.

Stone:

Earned,

Connie Smith:

We were at a a gathering, a a church gathering, a small we would probably call it a house church development. They met in a in a little place. This was in Turkey. And we we were there to evaluate, the formation. Okay?

Connie Smith:

This was an assignment that we were asked to do. And so this evaluation that we were doing in in in Turkey is the time that I'm talking about. So so we attended the the service in this little tiny space, and every one of the Turks were dressed very professionally. They were dressed to go to the house of God. I saw this in in Sudan with all this one woman had on was fresh leaves, 4 and aft, and that that was her dress.

Connie Smith:

But they were clean, and they were fresh because she was going into the house of God. But so the Turks and the then the expats who were there, leading the thing and leading them to otherwise, they were discipling them, and they were the expats who had come to bring them to Christ and etcetera, etcetera. So the Turks, they would come all dressed, dressed to the hilt. The expats were in shorts of all things when men in this country do not wear shorts. They were in shorts and a t shirt.

Mike Banker:

And

Connie Smith:

there there was another thing that, showed that they were not, these expats were not at all observant as to what's going around them. You know, the the verse that says that we're to watch and pray? So every time that we prayed, Richard and I watched and prayed. And, of course, the Turks all prayed with an open hand to receive the answers to their prayers and their offer up their praise. So they did it with open hand hands.

Connie Smith:

And the Christians are over here with their eyes closed and their hands clasped. And the, the nationals were seeking to converse with God, and the expats were all conversing with God. It was just such an interesting contrast, such an interesting contrast in where one group held this meeting place as a place that god was present. And so to to be honoring, we do things what we consider honoring. And where the expats, who were the one bringing the gospel, they were just so casual about the whole thing that, they didn't understand that at all.

Connie Smith:

And god's everywhere, and god's with us always, and god really doesn't care what we wear. And, so I can do what I want, and so they did. Very interesting. Okay. So we're talking about

Mike Banker:

It seems like, something like that's like a stumbling block. Right? Becomes like a stumbling block. It's it's, the shorts are just a distraction from everything else. Or

Connie Smith:

Absolutely. I remember I remember when we first started out, there was all these divisions. You know, the King James was the only Bible, and, it didn't have all these modern translations then either. But, anyway, we had a few. And, makeup on women's oh, no.

Connie Smith:

Now you could, you know, have your hair all frizzed up in the big beehive, but you couldn't wear any makeup. So we would go to, knowing the group that we were going to, I always carried, or we always carried a King James Bible and a modern translation.

Mike Banker:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

And I always carried lipstick and earrings. Oh, because earrings were a no no too. Christians don't do that. I carried earrings and lipstick. So if we were at a church where they did not wear makeup, I wiped all mine off, put my earrings off, and knew that this was gonna be one of those that King James is the you know, sort of like King James is good enough for Saint Paul.

Connie Smith:

It's good enough for me. And, so, we would leave the modern translation in the car, and we would go very reverently carrying our King James version into the church. And the whole purpose was so that they were not sitting there being all, oh, oh, oh, she has on earrings or whatever I'm gonna do. You're reading from the word of God, which is the King James, and there was no distractions. For churches that didn't didn't matter, We did whatever we felt like that day.

Connie Smith:

This this whole study is about about this. So it's very important in status given and your status earned that your behavior is done well, what you wear. Okay. Here's a here's a good case in point. We say, oh, the the long dress, the covering up the veil, all of that, that is that is a sign you are, a Muslim.

Connie Smith:

And so you as a cross cultural worker definitely don't wear any of that. K? So one of our, assignments was to have them observe or by questions, interview, and find out why a woman is covered from her head to her toes. And a woman is covered head to toes to show her modesty that she is a righteous woman and that she's not a streetwalker, but she is a righteous woman. And so she covers herself.

Connie Smith:

So what did we do with our female participants in the course? We all wore the gelava. We all wore the skirt, scarf. It was could be worn around the neck. So at times, I would I would even put it over my head because the circumstance called for it.

Connie Smith:

For the most part, it could just be around the neck. We learned what shoes wear, what not to wear, and Richard dressed as a as a professor. And so we all went in as well when it came about oh, dear. The time comes when I go in with, 7 participants that year. Richard is off at a conference and is going to come a day or 2 later.

Connie Smith:

So we get off the train, and, of course, you don't have phones in those days, way back in the dark ages when you didn't have, anything but landlines. And so we would, we didn't know how we were gonna communicate as to what hotel we were staying in that first night, Or not that first night, to wait for his arrival. And, but we we both knew of of, a couple that we could go to, and he could get off the train, go to their house, and find out where we were and get get there. Okay. So, anyway, he gets so we go on about our, business, and we go, May with my 7 children, go and and we, register and move into this hotel.

Connie Smith:

So now he comes in at the the next day, I guess it was. He shows up, and he gets off the train, and everybody's trying to help him. And finally in exasperation, he says, no. I'm going to find my wife. And the fellow says, oh, I know where she is.

Connie Smith:

She's wearing she's wearing a a white cape, and she has a a purse that goes when she opens it. And she has 7 children with her, and I know where they are. Oh. So he leads he leads Richard right to us. We had we so fit in that we were people.

Connie Smith:

Richard, as the family head, was the was not only the patriarch and the father of this group. Otherwise, he was the professor with the students either way, and it was all legit. But he was either the father father of these, but he was the one responsible for the women and and and, particularly the women on the team. And it was because he was dressed appropriately and behaved appropriately. And it's children dressed, and his wife, of course.

Connie Smith:

In fact, he was stopped on the street one day and complimented on the fact that that he had dressed his wife so nicely by another man, of course. No woman would ever stop and talk to him, but he had dressed his his wife so so nicely. And I was in my gelada. I always wore my gelada. Anyway, but don't think you're not noticed.

Connie Smith:

I think that was the thing out of that story. Okay. Now these are all, same. So status given will tend to associate with their own peer group and friends from the same level of society. I remember, when we were home, and Eric was, what, 15, I guess, at the time.

Connie Smith:

And, they had, we went to this this big church, and they sent each of us to a different Sunday school class to talk to them about what we were doing. So, anyway, this particular instance with Eric, we have I have several of those. But this particular instance, he was accosted by a lady and, accosted is the wrong word. He was met with a lady, and she was telling him, oh, how sorry she was for him for all that he missed in the culture by being away and not being in the culture and getting to do all these things in America. And, oh, oh, me?

Connie Smith:

Oh my. And

Mike Banker:

I

Connie Smith:

don't know where he gets it, but Eric was able to say to her, oh, ma'am, I don't understand what you mean. I've gotten to swing on vines in the jungle, and I have also sat at the table with the ambassador. And he he said, I don't feel I have missed anything. What of the teenagers in your, in your family have had those kind of opportunities. Okay.

Connie Smith:

They would consider let's see. That's earned. Now status earned. Let's go quickly through some of these. I will be there tomorrow.

Connie Smith:

This I I will not be going to court. The woman is being sent home today.

Mike Banker:

Well, that was one solution.

Connie Smith:

Yes. And, anyway, I don't have time to go into that. Okay. People who are value status earned must work to gain respect in their own eyes and will respect others using the same standard. People can earn a low status through drunkenness, etcetera, etcetera, and may constantly prove that the label is justified by, their appropriate or I by their by the actions, appropriate to that distinction.

Connie Smith:

Did that sentence make sense? It didn't to me as I was saying it. But,

Mike Banker:

I know that they're drunk because that's how they act in behave.

Connie Smith:

Yes. And they not only get that label, but they then continue to live out that label. And you continue to judge them on that label. And everything they do then is suspect. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Or you're judged you're judged an addict, and that is no help whatsoever. The statement, my name is Connie. I am a alcoholic or I am a drug addict or I am whatever. That's who I am. To me is the most terrible statement anybody can ever make.

Connie Smith:

And that's, of course, is the first step in the 12 any 12 step program. My preference would be able to say, hello. My name is Connie, and I struggle with the problem of alcohol or drugs or gambling or whatever. That's not who I am. Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

It's good. It's not who I am. I can't change who I am, but I can certainly change my attitudes and my beliefs and my behavior. I'm not here to change my being. I'm here to change my behavior and my attitude.

Connie Smith:

K? That that was a freebie. Okay. They will consider the person, not the rank or position of authority, not their education, not their age or maturity. When we were leaving, we had put ourselves under the Finnish Lutheran mission in our work in Ethiopia.

Connie Smith:

We were under the state church, but the one not the state church. Under a national church conglomerate that was basically oh, I'm telling too much story. Anyway, the point being that, worked with these Finns and so on and so forth. And when we went to leave, we had relationships then with their workers who were scattered around and would sometimes come into the center, and we would go to the church service with them. And I was the anyway, this woman, I don't ever remember having a conversation with, period.

Connie Smith:

I knew who she was, and I knew what she did. Probably had even, did scripture testing where she was working. But I don't ever remember even having a conversation with her. So as we were leaving, she was there, and she started to just cry. And she threw her arms around me and said, I will miss you so much.

Connie Smith:

You are just like my mother. Okay? Now that part's okay. However, at this time, I'm barely 40, and this woman is probably in her late twenties. Now here's a person who was not judging me on my age nor on my maturity, But she was judging me on whatever whatever place in her life she thought I filled.

Connie Smith:

In this case, it was her mother. Now I don't know what about me reminded of her mother. But anyway. Status earned people, consider a worthy person or a person worthy of respect or honor as one who accomplishes something. Doesn't or in this case, doesn't accomplish in the in the negative of that.

Connie Smith:

So you would have less respect for, for a person you, see is behaving like an a drunk, then you you would think has more if he's gotten himself out of that. Okay? So they constantly struggle to gain and maintain status in their own eyes, but they will not necessarily seek to gain a position of importance to others. That would kinda depend, a whole lot on where they are in some of the other continuum, I think. And their work, proves they have worth.

Connie Smith:

So worth and status are kinda tied together. So you can gain worth. The more you do, the more you accomplish, the more worth you have. Now again, either side carried to the other, to the extreme, you're gonna run into trouble. There is nothing wrong with this with this, being status earned.

Connie Smith:

K? Everybody that's in a competitive sport, they may not like losing. They may be this. They may be that. But they are no longer the top.

Connie Smith:

But the guy who was always at the bottom or the team that was always at the bottom, the underdog, if he wins, well, he is the winner of this. He's not the underdog who won. He's the winner. But the next game he plays, in any you see, this is the thing with comparison or contrast, is that somebody always comes out the loser. Therefore, to take this to the extreme and start deciding people's worth on what they've, accomplished or lost is not a good thing.

Connie Smith:

But in and of itself, it there's nothing wrong. Okay. So they will listen to both those with credentials and those without credentials because credentials are not important one way or another. Status given people tend to see the position another holds without really seeing the person. Status earned people tend to see the achievements or performance and still do not really see the person.

Connie Smith:

So in that sense, both are wrong. Correct? Mhmm. K. Both orientations need to respect both performance and position, but not give too much attention to the person in keeping with their chosen field or or of experience.

Connie Smith:

Okay. I see what what his point is here. We have we have a a man who, in in my time, was the, the author of and and the expert on raising a baby. Oh. Have you ever heard of doctor Spock?

Mike Banker:

Yes. Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Now this is not the one of star, of Star War Star Trek. Okay? This is not doc that doctor Spock. This is the doctor Spock of the, of this book on how to take care of babies, and he was the bible of it.

Connie Smith:

Anybody who wanted to be a good mother had that book in hand. He told you what to feed him. He told you what to, how to train him. Oh my goodness. He was the expert.

Connie Smith:

But his doctorate was not it had nothing to do with that. It had something to do with, engineering of some kind. No. But because he was a doctor, he became and he wrote this book for I have no idea why. And most of the stuff in it was pretty good, but he became the expert because he was the doctor.

Connie Smith:

Doctor Norm Chomsky was a PhD with 47 of them, I think, because I had not that many, but he had a lot of PhDs, all in mathematics and linguistics. But because he was a doctor, he became a vocal a very vocal man in the world of, nuclear warfare, nuclear, the the positive and negatives of nuclear power.

Mike Banker:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

So that's what he's trying to say here, that both our patients need to respect performance and position. It But outside of that position, he's not the expert. Okay. Got a question.

Mike Banker:

We do the same thing with, with actors and actresses. We Yes. Value their opinion in politics because they're an actor or an actress. I mean

Connie Smith:

Yep. Yep. Yep. Let's see. A PhD in physics does not make an authority on child rearing.

Connie Smith:

That's what it was. Okay. So nor does a gold medalist in swimming make an authority in child rearing. So both types of people should find out more about the person before they accept that person's ability to guide. Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

So status given the interest is in titles, earned titles unimportant. Rank conscious versus achievement conscious. Dress for position versus dress according to personal choice. Privilege based on position, privilege based on results. So what side would be the employee of the month?

Carmen:

That is earned.

Connie Smith:

Okay. What would be, the, side of the, physicians only parking.

Carmen:

Given

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Stone:

Yeah. Okay.

Connie Smith:

Okay. Behavior limited by position and the behavior unrestricted.

Mike Banker:

No.

Connie Smith:

That's another one. Says, given judges people by their position and earned, judge people by their accomplishments. I remember I don't know how the conversation got started probably when we were trying to talk about this. But one of the participants of the course said, well, all I know is that I could never worship God if the pastor is, is wearing a robe. I mean, how ridiculous.

Connie Smith:

So where would he be?

Carmen:

That is earned. No. Yes. That is earned, I would think.

Connie Smith:

Yep. Yes. Would would that not be more, status, yes. Yes. Okay.

Connie Smith:

And so he's not performing. He's not wearing the garb that this man thinks he should be. Okay? I said to him, well, I find that kinda sad because I think I've gone to the point where I could worship God anywhere. And I said, I thought it was sad that he would be limited from hearing from God just because of what the man speaking is wearing.

Connie Smith:

Okay? Which shows that I am more what? Anyway, it doesn't matter. Status. Status.

Connie Smith:

More static. Judge people by their position and judge people by their accomplishments. Alright? Then social group is the only only the peer group is is for status given. If you have a PhD, I relate to you, but I don't knock about with those just with a BA.

Connie Smith:

Social group of the earned is they can relate to both above and below one's level. Anyway, another story is too long. Okay. So, anyway, that, gives you a little bit about all of that, and we'll, talk about some more here tomorrow. But tomorrow then, we're going to start putting things together.

Connie Smith:

So your assignment, of course, is to find what your where you are on the continuum and why and where the person that you're working with is on. But we are going to be I want you to reason I want you to have paper and a writing instrument, and it was put that way rather than saying a pen or pencil because that didn't give selected people enough choice. So we're going to be doing this, this profile chart. So you're gonna need paper in which to make profiles. So, do bring paper and pencil and oh, there I did it.

Connie Smith:

See well, that was for the directing people. Anyway, come prepared tomorrow to start on figure out what do we do with all of this stuff and all of these labels. Okay? And so that is the basic end of us of the of the teaching part of the information part. Now we're going to see how to put it into action for these next 3 days.

Carmen:

Okay? That'll be very interesting.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. It will be. And it'll be very time consuming, and we'll never have enough time.

Carmen:

Very complicated.

Connie Smith:

No matter what side of the coin you're on, we will never have enough time to fully grasp this or its permutations.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Like we said, what happens when the person is this person is time and dichotomy is no problem. But what if what if he's time and holist? You've got Yeah. What if he's dichotomy and event? Oh my goodness.

Connie Smith:

We had a expat come to us in tears. So frustrated because he can never do what he set out to do. Could never accomplish my accomplish it. He was so frustrated with himself. He was ready to lead the field.

Stone:

Interesting.

Connie Smith:

Wow. To relieve stress. Okay. I'm so

Mike Banker:

Yep. Alright.

Carmen:

Thanks. You, everybody.

Connie Smith:

Okay. 2 prayer requests. One, Tanya, who's part of our PR family, in Thailand not Thailand, in Indonesia, needs to have an answer before Saturday on whether there's extension to her tourist visa or not. She's already made the application usually done in 2 or 3, 4 days. It's now been 8 days.

Connie Smith:

And if she doesn't get an answer, then she will have to leave the country on Saturday.

Carmen:

Wow.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So that that's that's one. The other is still, for me and the many hats that I thought I had resolved from myself for these 2 weeks are multiplying rather than being removed. So thank you. Okay.

Connie Smith:

So somebody might

Mike Banker:

I'll just pray and close us. This father, we we are so thankful for Connie and for her sharing all this, that she's learned, all these things she's learned, with us. For, help us to be faithful ones to use these things that she's taught in order to understand other people better, communicate better with them. And, yeah, just thank you, Father. And now, Father, would you give Connie good rest tonight?

Mike Banker:

Would you also give her peace, peace in her heart with all this hubbub all around her? Somehow give her peace in her heart. And, she has so many different hats she's wearing, father. It's, quite a juggling act. So we pray also that you would, guide her, give her wisdom, And, if possible, father, to take some of these things she's struggling away.

Stone:

Yes.

Mike Banker:

And, but give her peace in all of this, and give her rest, and give her wisdom, I pray. And bring us back again together tomorrow so we could start to knit all these things together and deepen our understanding so we can use this tool effectively. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.

Mike Banker:

About Tanya. And Father, we also pray for Tanya that, she's still waiting on on word about her visa, and time's running out. And so, Father, we pray that she would get, so that she would know clearly whether she needs to leave or not. And, pray that she'd get that visa so she could stay. And, if you have other plans that she would just know so she can make plans.

Mike Banker:

We pray that in Jesus' name. Amen.

Carmen:

Amen.

Mike Banker:

Okay. Alright.

Connie Smith:

Bye, Ria. I love you all, and I thank you so much for your prayers. Most of my prayers right now are not something about what can I do, but what in the world are you going to do, God? Oh,

Mike Banker:

yeah.

Connie Smith:

That's it. They have to be God answers. I had a marvelous God answer on Sunday, Sunday night. Marvelous God answer. So I thank him for that.

Connie Smith:

But these are most of my concerns right now are I'm stuck in the middle of a need and a god answer because they're beyond me. They're beyond me. I think they're beyond any human. Mhmm. Wow.

Connie Smith:

And one of one of them right now is a a young mother, single mother, 2 children, everything in the world wrong with her physically, not able to work, no income, and her, stage 4 metastatic cancer and the pancreas and liver and having kidney problems, so on and so on and so on. And her co pays now there's no income in this family except what, a pittance that she gets and literally a pittance. And the work that the 18 year old can fit in, between his school and after school, I should say. And her co pays alone yesterday yesterday alone, her co pays came to $500. She doesn't have the co pay.

Connie Smith:

Now she has insurance. This this is this is the co pay for the insurance. And my resources for God to touch are rapidly drying up. And where is that his co pays going to come from? 1 month, it was over $1200.

Connie Smith:

Well, who's got that kind of money just laying around? So, anyway, this is a solution that only God can give. I don't I don't even know what to ask him for except either bring in the money or heal, one of the 2.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Okay. So that's that's the kind of kind of things I'm in to. But God has her back. She's the one that I shared in my prayer letter that in in my prayer letter for the no. It wasn't.

Connie Smith:

Anyway, that, Isaiah 4110 and 13. And by putting those together, he's upholding her with with his right hand. She's sitting in his hand, and he's upholding her. It doesn't say he's holding her. It says he's upholding her.

Connie Smith:

2 different things. And with he is also then holding her hand. It doesn't say, and we are holding hands. It says, and I'm holding your right hand. And she sparked up, and she says, that means that I'm held by God by both his hands.

Carmen:

Oh.

Connie Smith:

Well, that's what I see happening in her life. And I can't believe that God is going to not take care of things. But I'm really being tested on my trusting camp for these co pays. The the food, is taken care of more or less, and our monthly bills are more or less settled how they can be taken care of with these co pays.

Carmen:

Will they not treat her if she doesn't bring 1?

Connie Smith:

Nope.

Carmen:

They won't?

Connie Smith:

Nope.

Carmen:

Because some

Connie Smith:

people get it. She'll she'll have to make okay. Okay. It's all kinds of everything we already know and all kinds of facts and this, that, and that. The situation is if she does not have her co pay paid, she cannot have that treatment.

Carmen:

Wow. That's pretty harsh.

Connie Smith:

Test. Well

Carmen:

No. But I mean, I I see what

Carmen:

you're saying.

Connie Smith:

Has to be a God thing that god brings in and either provides the money or provides a way through the system to take care of these co pays that they can let it go or that they can put it on a time plan or that they can do something that even though she doesn't have the co pay in hand,

Mike Banker:

she

Connie Smith:

can go ahead and be treated. Okay? We also want her to be able to keep her same team, health care team, because they're all working together.

Mike Banker:

She

Connie Smith:

has 5 different kinds of arthritis. On on top of it, many other things.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

So this is not, anything answerable in the long run by any human. It's going to take God to do it. Okay. Okay? So I know you gotta go go to bed, people.

Connie Smith:

I love you dearly. But that's some of my one of my hats I'm wearing at the moment.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Alright, Deers. Bye bye.

Mike Banker:

Thank you, Connie. Thank you. Love you.

Connie Smith:

Love you too to all of you. I just wish I could hug you. I'm a hug. I'm a hugger.

Mike Banker:

We could set a new thing. Hugs on the Internet.

Connie Smith:

Yeah. I there's somebody should do a better, on on some app somewhere, there is a hug a hug one. No. But it's not on on my phone. And maybe so somebody that knows where it is, let me know so I can go get it on my phone.

Carmen:

Can I just add that Connie has stepped into this woman's life, and she's been Jesus with skin on? This woman had nobody.

Connie Smith:

Literally. Nobody. God brought her to me. Saw her walking alongside the road. Wow.

Connie Smith:

Along with a cane.

Carmen:

No car.

Connie Smith:

We stopped and see what we could do. I I was gonna drive on past thinking that there was nobody around that she could have been visiting. There was no stores that she could have been going to or from. I turned around in the middle of the road and went back to her, got her in the car. She'd been walking for 4 hours.

Connie Smith:

Wow.

Carmen:

From a doctor appointment. Right? To back home.

Connie Smith:

She had a a friend who took her to the appoint because they have no transportation in this family either. They had taken her to her doctor's appointment, and then it said, oh, by the way, I can't take you home. So she's stuck here at the doctor's office. No money, no means of transportation, and nobody to call that would come and get

Mike Banker:

her. Wow.

Connie Smith:

When we ran and Pam, was with me. When we ran across her, she had been walking for 4 hours.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

Okay? So we said, well, we will see we will see that you get home. First thing we did, of course, was give her all the water that we had in the car, no matter who'd been drinking out of it before. And so we said to her, well, we will see that you get home. Where do you live?

Connie Smith:

I live out of Barefoot Bay. That's where I live.

Mike Banker:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

Okay? How do I know this is a god thing? If we had not picked her up, she still had about 14 miles to walk walk home.

Carmen:

That's good.

Connie Smith:

She wouldn't have made it. She simply wouldn't have made it. I have no question whatsoever in my mind that if we had not picked her up, that they would have she would have fallen on this on the road at some point, and they would have either taken her to the morgue or to the hospital. She could not have survived anymore. Okay?

Connie Smith:

So what do you do when God drops people in your lap? Well, you do your best you can. Yeah. And it's come to this.

Mike Banker:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

And God has provided, probably just in co pays alone since January. My guess is that he's brought in let's see. What is this? This is the 9th month. I would imagine he's brought in close to, $7,000 just for co pays.

Mike Banker:

Wow.

Connie Smith:

The other day, I stopped by at the restaurant who has a a a donation jar out for this. And I picked up what was there, and I went to her house. And I said to her, how much is your co co pays for tomorrow? And it was a $125 that turned into another 3.25. But, anyway, that's what she knew at that time.

Connie Smith:

And I opened that envelope, and I counted the money into her hand. 20, 40, 60, 80, a 100, a 120, 5.

Mike Banker:

1.

Connie Smith:

This is a god thing.

Carmen:

Yeah.

Connie Smith:

I can't figure this out because I don't have the money.

Carmen:

Yeah. Very sad to hear.

Connie Smith:

And what what happened? Anyway anyway, thank you for praying for me. That that's just one of the other things. Okay?

Carmen:

Yes.

Carmen:

God bless you and

Connie Smith:

I do love you, though.

Carmen:

Override. Somehow, I just pray for provision.

Connie Smith:

And, it's not provision for me, remember. This is provision for Jennifer. Right. God is just excuse me. You know, this this this week was built remember I said that I felt like God was putting out all these fire, using me as the fire hose?

Connie Smith:

Well, what I feel he's gonna have to do because you have if you're gonna focus the fire hose on something, which is what God would be in charge of that, if he's gonna focus the fire hose on the fire, he can't just go, you know, any willy nilly. Just throw a little sprinkle here and a sprinkle there. He has to focus on one point until he can can contain that, and then he moves on to another piece. So I'm just one hose. So either he's going to have to provide more hoses or that the spray gets taken care that that the points get put out very quickly

Carmen:

Mhmm.

Connie Smith:

And very thoroughly.