Prisoner of The Planet of the Apes

Kevin recounts an entire film franchise. Harley longs to live in an Epic Universe. Plus: The Conclusion of the eBay Epic.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is Beardless, D*ckless Me?

For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.

00:00:23
Speaker 1: Welcome back.

00:00:26
Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, wow, I love that one.

00:00:34
Speaker 1: Two Beard the stickles me.

00:00:36
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith. That was amusing for me. Thank you.

00:00:41
Speaker 1: I like to begin with a bank. You really did start a high note. All downhill from there, just like my career clerks all that.

00:00:48
Speaker 2: Oh, stop it right now.

00:00:51
Speaker 1: Speaking of old movies that I made, I did an interview today with w MMR, which is a legendary, iconic historic radio station in the Philadelphia area, and they, God, sometimes my fucking wind up to the story. I get so lost in it that I forget what the the story was. They said something, and I said something the end nice, I know, cock, what was it? The pointed out something?

00:01:27
Speaker 2: Oh buddy.

00:01:28
Speaker 1: I was doing an interview about Dogma, but I wound up telling old Dogma stories in the interview. It was kind of a preview of like what's to come with the tour, which I guess was really the point. Like we sold out all the first shows of the tour, added second shows, then we've added cities. We add at Pittsburgh, San Francisco, and they're adding Austin in Denver, oh, twenty cities in total. I have been Jordan is like, you can't go to anymore and I wanted to get to at least twenty five. She's like, there are other things we need to be doing.

00:02:08
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, I mean, like what.

00:02:12
Speaker 1: Some stuff, some strategic partnerships we've been building for many years, Okay, and those relationships may be coming into fruition finally, and so we have to be available.

00:02:25
Speaker 2: Okay, that's suspicious and all right, yeah, it's just.

00:02:31
Speaker 1: There was we were thinking we're going to be making a movie at the end of April, all through the beginning of we're middle of May, and then that money went away. But you know, it doesn't mean that, like money is not going to come up in another spot and not like you know, I'm sure if somebody listening is like Jesus fucking what a charmed life, it ain't me. The women who make these movies people are like you, Yes, I am the woman.

00:03:01
Speaker 2: That you are.

00:03:03
Speaker 1: Liz and Jordan, they you know, are always like, all right, if it ain't gonna be that, it'll be this, And I've got places to go and stuff. So I you know, I'm not like it's going to happen, but it has a good chances happening. Again based on other discussions that are going on.

00:03:22
Speaker 3: All right, okay, what about saying all right, well, I, for one have been tracking the dogmatour like a hawk.

00:03:33
Speaker 1: Yeah you are. You're adorable, Like I had no idea that you were such a ticket watcher.

00:03:40
Speaker 2: I absolutely am.

00:03:42
Speaker 1: Hardly since the site has been up, has been like this one sold out, the other one sold out, this one's.

00:03:48
Speaker 2: Was on it today? Yeah, I was on it yesterday.

00:03:52
Speaker 1: I look, I go all the time, but I have a vested interest. What's your three time? What's going on? What happened happiness? Well? Thank you? I thought it was like the fucking Disney bloggers are down for two days. So you're like, I got nothing else, I have some spare time, We'll watch the tickets.

00:04:12
Speaker 2: It's just invested in your happiness.

00:04:14
Speaker 1: I appreciate that very much. What are your thoughts from the outside, What does it look like?

00:04:18
Speaker 2: It looks like people are stoked. I mean, the first shows sold out so fast.

00:04:23
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something. Nobody knows what information that was shared with me from the tip top. You exclusive it is, my god, we should market it as such. The yeah CinemaCon just happened used to be called Show West when I was a youngster, all the way up to like fairly recently. Now it's called CinemaCon, probably a better name.

00:04:52
Speaker 2: Could you have gone because.

00:04:54
Speaker 1: An exhibitor for as for example, Sadcastle keeper Ernie O'Donnell was just there, he went.

00:05:04
Speaker 2: Was there a reason that you weren't there?

00:05:07
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:05:07
Speaker 1: I like, I don't really go places unless like they're like, hey, we want you to do a talk and I'm like, okay, but just to walk around and you know, be like, oh, what's coming out? Like he went to the presentation where he's like, I saw Ben Ben was really funny, and that would feel weird to me. If I was just in the audience, I'm like, there's a guy that I fucking worked with an awful lot, there's my friend on stage. It gives I would probably be the guy that gets up and walks the stage going.

00:05:36
Speaker 4: Ben Bad presentation, Ben a flack, it's me, It's it's it's not it's a black hat, normally it's white.

00:05:47
Speaker 1: I'm silent, Bob Bad just ignorous doing his fucking studio app So anyway, they count too, because a masterful thriller Bed do you know what was master Oh the way you dodged me just now.

00:06:05
Speaker 2: Kind of hurt my feeling really hurtful.

00:06:08
Speaker 1: I see you're taking a selfie. They did one of those like look at all these fucking famous people, let's take a selfie things. Because I think he was there with Amazon or something like that. I think that's who's doing the accounting to I do hear that, So it would feel weird to me if I was there, not on stage. And I don't mean to sound that, to sound arrogant or anything. It's just like, make sure I heard the doorbell. I'm assuming somebody went to get it.

00:06:39
Speaker 2: Well, I would just assume you'd want to go to see the exclusive previews.

00:06:46
Speaker 1: Honestly, there's always a part of me that would like to do that.

00:06:49
Speaker 2: But then because I would go, if you want to go next year, I go.

00:06:54
Speaker 1: I think about that and like, but I don't know, And then I'm like, well, think about the one I would have went for this year is like, oh my god, the Superman presentation. Yeah, it's literally up on fucking Instagram. Oh is it like the next not even that day? That night?

00:07:08
Speaker 2: It gives D twenty three? Is is that correct? It's giving to me D twenty three D exclusive.

00:07:18
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, but the D twenty three stuff doesn't leak D twenty.

00:07:23
Speaker 2: Three stuff that goes up like the second second.

00:07:27
Speaker 1: One, not always because they don't even do that with the ship they do at Comic Con, like I saw a far different trailer for Guardians the Galaxy three than they released either time when they did their like their two theatrical big drops for their trailer. Yeah, the one I saw was done to the was the Flaming Lips. Dude, whole video was like fucking oh yeah.

00:07:53
Speaker 2: I feel like I was there and.

00:07:54
Speaker 1: We were there. Yeah. Yeah, we were.

00:07:57
Speaker 2: In the back room crying.

00:07:59
Speaker 1: Yes, that was his baby rocket, right baby rocket?

00:08:04
Speaker 2: Oh god that was that was That was a tough one.

00:08:08
Speaker 1: Oh so you they can swap shit out. D twenty three doesn't, like, I guarantee you, we don't see all the good ship D twenty three seeds.

00:08:20
Speaker 2: I guess, just in terms of the announcements like.

00:08:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, like we're doing it.

00:08:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of that. It's it's pretty live on social media.

00:08:32
Speaker 1: Just for those folks who are like, hey man, I've been fucking paying attention and I'm keeping track and ship. I got that piece on eBay. I want it.

00:08:42
Speaker 2: I'm so happy for you.

00:08:43
Speaker 1: And it arrived. I saw it, I showed Harley. I felt like I felt I don't know, I felt like I landed a boat to Marlin. I was a fisher person.

00:08:54
Speaker 2: Hot take. Yeah, the ones you had commissioned. Yeah, I like more.

00:08:58
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Bobby D very happy to hear that. I texted that right before the show went. I said, everyone likes the yours more than the original, even my kid.

00:09:07
Speaker 2: It's the truth. Rocky's little hat is blue and Bobby D's and it's gray in the other one in the.

00:09:16
Speaker 1: Original piece, Bobby D said, it like makes no sense why they wouldn't Why.

00:09:19
Speaker 2: Is this heart not blue?

00:09:21
Speaker 1: Give them the blue aviator got? But now I've got both. And the original has three signatures of Bullwinkle icons that are no longer with us June four A, Chris Jenkins and Bill Hurts, so definitely worth having. Plus it came with two other like really cool pieces as well. So all's well, that ends.

00:09:42
Speaker 2: Well, I'm so happy for you. I know that that was that was hard.

00:09:47
Speaker 1: It was it was it was an adventure and you.

00:09:49
Speaker 2: Ended up with three of the piece.

00:09:52
Speaker 1: Yes, but but like Bobby D, I texted him the original photo of the original to be like I won the original, but yours is better, and he was like, I'm so glad. Otherwise, you know, we wouldn't have done what we did. Like he I had bought a bowl of bugs bunny piece from him, and it was losing that other piece made me go like, maybe I can he can paint a thing. Not only did he paint that, and it's coming up, maybe it's today. Maybe that's what that ringing the doorbell was like. I had him do six sell paintings of the opening credit sequence to The Rocky Show and he's finished. The FedExing and packet fucking fire looks it looks like the absolute real thing. You could never get this in real life. It's not like, well, why don't you just collect those pieces? They animated down in Mexico. Oh wow, in the very beginning of like, hey, let's try doing stuff in Mexico. So for four years of the five year run of those shows, they were animating down to Mexico and they would go right from the Mexican animation company to air with no checks or quality. Wow. So the first season is like, you know, all over the place, quality control could bless you. And then just when they got it down to a science, they moved it back up to the States because ultimately it wound up costing the same as it would have cost to continue doing it down there. There's so much boring bullwinkle his You know so much, and yet I don't know anything. I'm going to be on a panel at the Van Eaton Gallery April nineteenth, the day before the Dogma tour kicks off. By the way, dogmamovie dot com. By the way, that's where Harley hangs out.

00:11:36
Speaker 2: That's where I'm at.

00:11:37
Speaker 1: You find her madly refreshing those pages.

00:11:39
Speaker 2: I'm on the other end of the screen, going another one.

00:11:42
Speaker 1: So another sea it is. I'm going to be there on the nineteenth. Hello, Bertie, and I'm part of a panel, a bowlinkle panel about Jay Ward.

00:11:57
Speaker 2: I see it. No, I'm very excited I did for you.

00:12:00
Speaker 1: I know I'm going to be being treated like a serious bullwinkle expert. You are, well, we'll see. I'm gonna be up there with real experts.

00:12:10
Speaker 2: The absolutely you qualify as a bowl winkle expert at this point.

00:12:14
Speaker 1: True. But Jay Ward's daughter Tiffany Ward and his granddaughter Amber Ward they're gonna be there as well. Something tells me they're your new best friends. They may have me beat in terms of what they know, like as much as I enjoy Bullwinkle, Like the Amber said, my whole fucking life is Bullwinkle.

00:12:33
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:12:34
Speaker 2: But if I was up against somebody in a Kevin Smith trivia contest, do you think you would win? I would if it were personal questions?

00:12:43
Speaker 1: Yes? For example, what's considered personal? So you mean you can answer trivia questions about me personal trivia questions about me better than professional Yeah? Less viewske you more just Kevin Smith in general?

00:12:57
Speaker 2: Why don't you ask me some questions?

00:13:00
Speaker 1: Okay? Kevin Smith trivia my favorite. I know.

00:13:05
Speaker 2: I go to the club every week for Kevin.

00:13:07
Speaker 1: Smith trivia like cub quiz time you chased Kevin Smith trivia nights around California bars.

00:13:14
Speaker 2: Like his daughter is keeping this afloat.

00:13:17
Speaker 1: I want to wan a but Humboldt County and I want forty dollars cost me one hundred and twenty in games. But my god, I showed them I know a thing, or show them all? Right? Hold on Kevin Smith question, when did he get married?

00:13:37
Speaker 2: Twenty six years ago? On April twenty fifth. April twentieth, twenty fifth.

00:13:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't even fucking like give you not, not even so much as a poker tick. You quickly like it was what it was what I was like, Fuck, I don't know.

00:13:57
Speaker 2: Twenty fifth.

00:13:58
Speaker 1: Yeah you were at the first time, okay, but I was just carry is why you were, like you went with the whole twenty six years ago because of your age. I was supposed to just saying the same fucking year you were born, because it's the same year we got married.

00:14:09
Speaker 2: You know, you got a point.

00:14:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I'm already beating you at Kevin Smith triggery.

00:14:16
Speaker 2: No, no, I said, Twentyson.

00:14:18
Speaker 1: Here you where did I my home address growing up?

00:14:24
Speaker 2: Twenty one Jackson Street?

00:14:26
Speaker 1: That is impressive? How you know that?

00:14:28
Speaker 2: Only because I've heard it, really and it's a million times I know, but.

00:14:33
Speaker 1: You've said things one million times. It definitely didn't stick with me, and like probably about things that really matter, but numbers would never stick with me, Like if you were like, you.

00:14:46
Speaker 2: Know, please don't say my address, yeah.

00:14:49
Speaker 1: My address, Like if there was an album that was all numbers and shit, like if MCR was like MCR one twenty eight or whatever, like I never remember.

00:15:01
Speaker 2: Twenty one Jackson Street. Atlantic Highlands. What yeah, oh no, no, no highlands, just highlands. So sorry, I'm so sorry.

00:15:11
Speaker 1: You really alienated a bunch of people right there, like, oh, she just wrote us out of your line.

00:15:17
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

00:15:18
Speaker 1: Atlantic Islands is where small Castle Cinemas is. Now what was Mydcastle Cinemas called?

00:15:26
Speaker 2: Uh?

00:15:29
Speaker 1: This stretches into the professional as you were in a movie that featured that movie theater?

00:15:35
Speaker 2: Wait, what do you mean?

00:15:37
Speaker 1: I'll let you continue to get.

00:15:38
Speaker 2: Atlantic Cinemas where the movies come to play?

00:15:42
Speaker 1: There you go. That is also, by the way, these podcastle slogan.

00:15:46
Speaker 2: Where the movies come to play.

00:15:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, I borrowed it for the movie. It's a good slogan.

00:15:49
Speaker 2: It is good.

00:15:50
Speaker 1: Nobody's eyes looked all over the internet. Nobody ever put that together.

00:15:55
Speaker 2: Ask me more.

00:15:56
Speaker 1: Okay, I like it. I like my Kevin Smith's first fandom.

00:16:08
Speaker 2: Rocky and Bullwinkle. What what Marvel DC? What the fun?

00:16:21
Speaker 1: What the hell? I have to just think of my room in there, my office.

00:16:26
Speaker 2: Oh Snoopynopie, meet their newbie.

00:16:32
Speaker 1: My first fandom, I collected Snoopy. Snoopy was my guy I'm back Snoopy and all the Peanuts cut out their comic strips every Sunday from the newspaper. Okay, mm hmmm mm hmmm, this this will be Let me see, where did I go to high school?

00:17:00
Speaker 2: Uh? Oh, Henry Hudson.

00:17:05
Speaker 1: My god, deep cuts ball, well done. Where did I go to grade school? I don't know. Some church, yeah, but narrow.

00:17:14
Speaker 2: It down, mother, somebody.

00:17:18
Speaker 1: Just mammally the only mother involved. No pooh poohs, although there was a chanological uh reference attached to it. I'll give you the initials. O. Well, pH.

00:17:34
Speaker 2: Our lady, yes, pH.

00:17:40
Speaker 1: You said this will be tough because you probably unless you Yes. Indeed, our lady of philosop we named you after our lady of perpetual help. Oh no, she will always help.

00:17:58
Speaker 2: Yeah I will, I know.

00:17:59
Speaker 1: Yeah. Honestly that may have infected my personality. The notion of perpetual help all servitude, a life of service was laid out for me every Sunday that I went to church, and every weekday. We would also go on the weekdays as well, not like you know, fucking religiously every week and stuff pun intended, but we would go on the weekdays. If there were days obligation. Yeah, and also as an altar boy, I had to do the funerals and ship with father.

00:18:28
Speaker 2: It was a real bummer.

00:18:29
Speaker 1: It wasn't man, because they would give me two dollars every time fucking then somebody died. I was praying for death because I'd get two bucks from the fucking paid you two dollars. Yeah, and the fucking funeral director man from postings and ship one, the you know, the you got two altar boys. I don't know why. It's not like we did anything all that different ship, but like the end of the mash, you always gone like two bucks, and I was like, fuck, really, that's so I start killing people, start blotting the Suddenly twenty dollars and ten people died in Highlands, me a mad magazine, some wacky paggages, Centipede bought some chocolate Twizzler.

00:19:13
Speaker 2: That's kind of an interesting little storyline right there, just saying.

00:19:17
Speaker 1: I couldn't Maybe it's more than a story. Maybe somebody should do some deep dive investigations and be like you did, ten people mysteriously die in Highlands around the time that Kevin Smith was an ultimate Why do you ask?

00:19:29
Speaker 2: Oh, no reason, I.

00:19:31
Speaker 1: Listened to his podcast with his daughter and it didn't sound made up. You can kind of tell he's always fucking around he thinks it's funny. But this one thing I think was very revealing.

00:19:43
Speaker 2: I mean, find out that.

00:19:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, you uncovered a fucking thing. That's how I made twenty dollars as a child.

00:19:51
Speaker 2: I'm murdering ten.

00:19:53
Speaker 1: And I was so sociopathic about it, even though I was a Catholic altar boy. I was just like, yeah, but two bucks, it's two bucks. I knew what a human life was worth two dollars. So yeah, sometimes I would go to church during the weekday, but always on Sunday. Always. That's something that you were not subjected to as a fucking kid. Let me tell you would not have liked it. It was like wake up eight o'clock Sunday, mash. You'd be like, what the I mean? Why up? I got school tomorrow? Aw sleep?

00:20:29
Speaker 2: Why is that my sleepy boys?

00:20:31
Speaker 1: Well, mom said the other day she was like, oh, Harley wakes up. Well. I was like she doesn't. I do, No, you don't I've woken you. I'd be like, oh, I feel like your mother. Your mother's just like that's so mean, it just doubles the bedroom like a fucking raptor. I just get out of bed and I'm like, hello, Lucky, Hello Bertie, It's time to face the day. What am I going to? What do I get to do today?

00:21:03
Speaker 2: I mean I do I do?

00:21:04
Speaker 1: Get up?

00:21:06
Speaker 5: No?

00:21:07
Speaker 2: No, he's making a very rude face.

00:21:10
Speaker 1: For those who you're watching on that chems to me, you would see some of the best facial work since Marcel Marceau. I'm going full silent Bob. I saw like Jason on his X and also on.

00:21:29
Speaker 2: It's really called X.

00:21:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't know why I'm fucking Twitter. Let's just call it.

00:21:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's just call it what it is.

00:21:39
Speaker 1: I didn't what I don't know. I was sitting there going like is it right to call it that? On Instagram as well, that makes it. He put up like one of those gift or mean things that was just like, what do you think of when you see these two and it's a picture of chains, and you know, a bunch of people are listing to movies or listing whatever and ship and one guy wrote cringe two thousand humor, WOA guess who I want to respond to again? Because I was like, who the fuck? And sure is sure a shooting man? Just hardcore hardcore magawing away.

00:22:26
Speaker 2: I couldn't have guessed.

00:22:27
Speaker 1: Well, the fucking top tweet that he had pinned was here, I gotta read. I'm gonna say dude's name, but you got to hear this man, because it's.

00:22:37
Speaker 2: Like, whoa, Oh man, why are we giving this man the light of day?

00:22:42
Speaker 1: If you are not If you are not saved, I urge you to acknowledge Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, ask him into your heart. He's the only way to true peace within yourself and to have true peace with others. Read the Gospel and steep yourself in his teaching. I pray that you find him and him is capitalized. I actually wrote that the very well, this was a tweet he wrote in twenty three, But the very next tweet that wasn't saved, but his top tweet was went to a self defense class in the ghetto. It was just a bunch of teens and scholars stabbing white people. Too creepy for me. Lol. Right after the Jesus post, WHOA Now, I was raised in Jesus, WHOA. We didn't do that second thing. That's some hateful shit. So when I see a thing like that and I see a motherfucker being like you cringe two thousand humor, and I'm like, oh, man, did I lose somebody? And then I see who I lost?

00:23:42
Speaker 2: Good riddance, buddy, holy good fucking ridden No creepy.

00:23:46
Speaker 1: Ass crazy ow. Yeah, I don't know why I still roll by that site.

00:23:55
Speaker 2: Man, It's like, yeah, why do you even just stay off of that nasty ass in old time sake or whatever?

00:24:02
Speaker 1: The fuck?

00:24:02
Speaker 2: But like, does that actual piece of garbage still own it? Or did he sell it?

00:24:07
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:24:08
Speaker 2: No, didn't he sell I don't know. I don't even want to talk about him anyways.

00:24:14
Speaker 1: Anyways, all right, it was supposed to be your show, me into asking questions.

00:24:21
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it was fun for me.

00:24:25
Speaker 1: What is your idea for a show?

00:24:27
Speaker 2: Well I didn't realize it was my show today. But I would like to talk about what matters most to me?

00:24:34
Speaker 1: Okay, what matters most to me? By Harley Quinn Smith management to me, my Baker car, my boyfriend Austin, Yeah, my cats.

00:24:46
Speaker 2: Any pew, Oh we should talk actually before we well, the bill report, the bill report.

00:24:54
Speaker 1: Oh, first of all, got to be a billionaire.

00:25:00
Speaker 2: His name is pronounced Buell. A few things about Buell.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a boy.

00:25:12
Speaker 2: He's a boy. I've started picking him up, which is something that Cinnamon did not allow for Cinnamon.

00:25:19
Speaker 1: For those who came in late, Harley's uh best friend, horror, Harley, will you marry me? Because my host impression. Harley's Bunny who my band and also the namesake of her band listen to But I was going to say marketing Uh left us tragically too early at the age of one hundred and eight. Bunny lived a long time man, and so naturally we thought Harley would never would be bunny less forever. But a new Bunny came into her life to help mend her her bunny broken heart. Buele is and he's hopped all over her life.

00:26:06
Speaker 2: He's really such a funny guy, and I often think Cinnamon sent him as a joke. I think Cinnamon was like, you know what you had me. I hid under the bed for many years, didn't move that much, never left the room. Here's the craziest.

00:26:25
Speaker 1: Motherfucker I can ever remember. All the things you wished for that I would be more interactive, but I would come out and hang out with you, whip around the room. Here it is, Here's buell, unadulterated, you fucking bnuts.

00:26:42
Speaker 2: Fuel is so just such a funny little guy. But I've started picking him up and he's okay with it. No, well he'll let me pick him up. But he has started to bite.

00:26:58
Speaker 1: He bites me, put me the fuck down.

00:27:00
Speaker 2: Yes, but yesterday he did fall asleep in my arms and it was quite magical.

00:27:06
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you broke through but then reached him.

00:27:09
Speaker 2: He woke up and bit me. Bull is also the person. I'm sure I've said the story of how Bill came into my life before, but I'll just give a quick little run.

00:27:24
Speaker 1: For those late Yes, the story of the story.

00:27:29
Speaker 3: I was.

00:27:31
Speaker 2: Working on this project and I went in for a fitting, a costume fitting, and the costume designer asked what my necklace says. It says Cinna for cinnamon, and I told her I that was my rabbit who just passed away after ten years of being together. And she was like, oh, that's crazy, because I know somebody who's looking to rehome their rabbit. Right now, I feel like you're not listening.

00:28:03
Speaker 1: I never have it right now, I can even do the fucking inflection. I was so dial up.

00:28:09
Speaker 2: And I was not going to I was not going to take him because it was a little too soon to losing Cinnamon. But then I saw a picture of Bill, and Bill is one handsome man, and you're like, I must have him. I cannot say no to this guy.

00:28:23
Speaker 1: I must have him. I must have.

00:28:27
Speaker 2: And when we got Be, the person who had him previously told us that he will shed his for once a year. I did not really understand because cinnamon Cinnamon did not really do that.

00:28:40
Speaker 1: No, is that molting or no, it looks like it molting is.

00:28:46
Speaker 2: Birds birds, But it's like he's molting.

00:28:50
Speaker 1: Hair has just been coming off.

00:28:51
Speaker 2: It's just coming off. I have a a giant sized freezer bag full of the ziploc bag full of bules hair.

00:29:01
Speaker 1: Yes, and you can build another be you at the building works shot.

00:29:13
Speaker 2: The life beam and there's a here's a it was a funny.

00:29:22
Speaker 5: Oh God's abuse for you to be choose me, fuck me, film me up. The dirtiest fucking song there ever was shot for beauty.

00:29:35
Speaker 1: Fuck me, stuff me, fill me with love.

00:29:40
Speaker 2: Not the real theres close enough, but you know what, not that far off?

00:29:45
Speaker 1: What a happy day when best friends get I promise to left night. Remember there's somebody who does the taking partner beauty man. There's a I think it's on Netflix. I don't know where I watch it, but there is a Build a Bear documentary. But it's oddly enough, it's only like twenty eight or thirty four minutes long. It was a very weird, like world, what a fucking lot. There's a lot I had to go into that. That was a nationwide brand man like something. But they can only really get half an hour out of I was kind of flower gassed, like I was like, make some shit up. Oh I say the first build of bears were made of human skins. Oh god, taken from from who an ancient burial ground?

00:30:39
Speaker 2: Oh God, not build Abu, build Abu. I so wish that they still had to build a bear close to our house, close to your house.

00:30:52
Speaker 1: Fucking I'm sure get tariffed. I can't fucking put any stuff in there.

00:30:58
Speaker 2: We can't have anything. It's not anymore.

00:31:00
Speaker 1: It comes in another country anyways.

00:31:03
Speaker 2: So Beal looks like he's wearing pants right now because he shed all his back fur, but not the fur on his butt.

00:31:12
Speaker 1: He's wearing a fairy pair of pants.

00:31:13
Speaker 2: He does have a free pair of pants on right now, durable man.

00:31:17
Speaker 1: It's like Peter cottontail or something that's very cute and.

00:31:20
Speaker 2: It's very nice. But anyways, what I would like to talk about.

00:31:25
Speaker 1: So wait when the the the pants you know of hair comes off, he'll look thinner.

00:31:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, he'll scraw I mean yeah, his I would say the pants are like an inch more out than the rest of us. Smart.

00:31:48
Speaker 1: It's so strange. And he'll do this every year, I guess, fucking so. I mean, keep an eye on the ship he lives behind man just in case it's not like another rabbit. Could be a Gizmo type situation.

00:31:59
Speaker 2: Oh my god, can can you imagine a second? Be a little.

00:32:05
Speaker 1: There's a thing that I see on TikTok all the time and on Instagram, a little short video and it's it says, my husband checking up on me when I'm doing my activities. And it's a clip from Gremlins when the boy Billy like he's doing something and then he like turns over to talk to Gizmo, who's like sitting in his bed with three D glasses on looking at a comic book of watching TV so he turns over and me goes, you're right, and he's like, all right, nice, what Okay, back to you.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: So I'd like to talk about a very big event that happened this week. Okay, the first people to go to Epic Universe.

00:33:01
Speaker 1: Harley is a theme park enthusiast, heavy on the ass. She has been waiting for this park to open. She's been sending me videos all last week of Frankenstein. They've got the Frankenstein, the animatronic that like, now, these things look incredibly much more lifelike. And they even had how to train your dragon toothless, like an autonomous little like just a little guy. Yeah, I mean robot with skin on and ship, but like he looked like the thing come to life and looked like an animal, put his ears back, rolled his eyes, and ships. It's pretty fucking impressive.

00:33:47
Speaker 3: Man.

00:33:48
Speaker 1: So when we eventually lose all the dogs and cats because of like remember playing the Apes, that's how it begins. First, all the cats and dogs die because they bring something back from space. Everyone's so sad, like we want a pet, and they into the apes and ship the chimps, and that's where it all starts going fucking south. Because first their pets, but then they're like, hey, they can pick up the dry cleaning as well. Oh shit, that's how it gets very slippery slope. And so they eventually get to that place where they realize, hey, man, fucking we can uprise and ship. That's conquest of the Planet the Apes, which ironically was fourth in the series and the original. I know that you had a whole fucking Planet of the Apes series of your own, your whole generation and shit like that, but the classic Planet of the Apes man going back even before I was born. Let me take you back to a time when Rod's serling motherfucker who wrote The Twilight Zone nearly every episode of the Twilight Zone at least took credit for nearly every episode of the Twilight Zone. Him, Pierre Boulet, is based on his book, came up with this fucking story about like these space travelers who you know, the astronauts who return to Earth, but they don't come back to that come to a planet where apes have evolved past man and man. Basically the relationship is fucking reversed completely. And uh. At the end of course, the big hook, as you found out, it was Earth and shit like you know, because he sees the Statue of Liberty. He's like, God, damn it, you're blowing up. So that was the first one. It was a mind fuck. Then the second one was Beneath the Planet of the Apes, and at the end of that movie they destroy the Earth because there's one last atomic bomb. And in the midst of the fight with the Ape Army and shit, some of the guy tailor no Taylor is the first guy. I forget what the second astronaut's name was, he like fucking dies and as he was shot and he grabs the control and pushes it down the go No, okay, but it's pretty powerful.

00:35:50
Speaker 2: I thought I heard a tear coming in.

00:35:51
Speaker 1: It's cool ending. They fucking like one of the few movies where everybody fucking dies at the end, like the whole world blows up. Then, you know, because that came out and people were like, I guess that's the end of the Epe movies. The third one was called Escape from the Planet of the Apes. Oh, and that's where they took everybody's two favorite characters, the chimpanzees, Cornelius and Zero. And the movie opens with a spacecraft. The spacecraft from the first movie that Charlton Heston was a landing in the water and shit, and fucking government coming out to meet it and they're like, welcome back, gentlemen to the United States, and the astronauts take their helmets off and it's the Apes. So they're our world in our timeline, like this ain't no more like dystopian fucking future and ship the Apes have come back to our world. So the whole movie is charming fish out of water, shit about Cornelius and Zero being embraced by the world, particularly America and turned into celebrities and shit like that, and then slowly everybody fucking turns on them and shit because they know something. There's a guy who like works with the government who's like they her cool and shit, but like there's something they're not telling us, what happened to the astronauts who were in this craft, and like they're like, oh, we don't know, you know, we were there were there were there's some shit going on, but like we were scientists and blah blah blah. But it oubts that they would, like, you know, she the one guy gets her drunk, gives her Great Juice plus and really it's just fucking wine he's getting her all lubed up, and so Zero gets drunk and she starts talking about the world they came from, and she's like, oh my god, like I used to operate on human beings, you know, take out their brains and study the way we study like animals and shit. So this guy hears all this and he's like, that's the future, Like we could stop this right now, and so it becomes like, we have to kill these fucking two. They find out that Zero is pregnant, and so they came three of them off the ship. One was doctor Milo, but doctor Milo got killed by a real gorilla because first they put them in cages because they didn't know what to do with them even though they were wearing clothing and shit like that. They put them in cages next to like an actual gorilla, and the real gorilla strangled doctor Milo. So all this leftist Cornelius and Zero and stuff, they become super popular. But then this guy is just like, hey man, these this is they're danger Like, I here's the tape. I know what the future looks like. We become extinct, they hunt us, the relationship is turned upside down. We have to stop this now, and then they found out she's pregnant, and they're like, that's it. This is how it begins, Like, we can't let the fucking first talking hate be born in our timeline because that leads to everything that she talks about. Shit. So they turn on them and they hunt them down and stuff. Oh it's so sad. They kill them both.

00:38:48
Speaker 2: Well, I guess I don't have to fucking see it like your coal miner's daughter.

00:38:52
Speaker 1: You would never in such an old movie. Oh my god. The guy like, oh, it's so heartbreaking and shit, and they die together Nelssen zero. But she throws the baby off like the dock into the water and shit, like you know, and then the guy shoots into the water to kill the baby. But what you find out the end is that when they were briefly like hiding in the circus with Cardo Montabon's character, there was another chimpanzee there who was pregnant at the time, and they switched babies, and so they you know, they go to Ricardo Montabon, who's talking to the little baby chimp who's in the big cage with the mom chimp, and he's just like, you know, yes, you're you know you're very special, you know, but we can't tell anybody and stuff, and he walks away and little Chimp goes like it ends, and it cuts the fucking black and roll the credits with him just going mama, because it's haunting because you're like, oh my god, Like this guy didn't even stop it. He Killednia, Cornelis and zero. But the baby is still alive. So the fucking Planet of the Apes timeline is still sacred. The next movie is called The Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and it's about their baby, whose name is Caesar, and so.

00:40:11
Speaker 2: Oh yes, Caesar.

00:40:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where they started biting from for their storyline. So Caesar is their kid. He picks his own name, he has a different fucking name, and then he gets traded away to somebody else. And at this point, this is where you start learning the history where like, you know, they talked about in the first movie where all the dogs and cats died and so like apes became pets and like blah blah blah. I think they touched a little bit on the origin there. But here in Conquest and the Planet Apes, they have a statue to like our best friends, there's a statue of a dog and a cat, because none of them are alive on planet Earth. Because once we start going to space, somebody brought something back that killed all the dogs and cats, that led us to like chimps and apes, that led them from being pets to being servants and shit. And that is the world of conquest of the planet the eph So Caesar, who picks his name in this but the child of Cornelia said Zira, he is like eighteen twenty when it begins or whatnot, and it's all about like subtle rebellion. It is so fuck it's masterful. It was shot down in Century City. You know, the towers are in Century City. That was when it was first built, so it was brand new, so it looked futuristic. So they shoot there as if like that's what the world looks like in fucking twenty whatever the fuck, which I believe if I look back on now, I think we are well passed the point the year that story took place. So he can speak, but he can't say anything. But he talks to the circus owner, Ricardo Mont's bomb, but he winds up getting killed or whatever. So Caesar winds up with the governor of California of New America or whatever. It's this quasi futuristic stopian society which is very clean. It's not like, you know, fucking society's collapse. Society is like homogenized and you know, fucking nobody does anything because we have all these simian servants and stuff. It's almost like it is now, but everything is out. Everything's digital now, and shit, everything there was like they showed like apes doing their fingernails and shit like that, and so like somebody would the ape would fuck up, and they'd be like no, you know, and like yelled them shit like you were a yellow dog. It's very profound the movie, you know, it's it runs on a couple of different levels.

00:42:36
Speaker 2: Well, I guess I don't have to see the entire series now, seeing how I've been explained all of it.

00:42:43
Speaker 1: The governor guy asks Caesar, like pick your name, and you know, Caesar pretends like he's a normal chimp, so he's just like he's given him the birdy headcock and shit, and then he just opens up a book and seemingly random picks but he looks and he points, and like chimps and apes can't read, so they're not thinking that he knows exactly where, and he picks Caesar, and the guy's like Caesar a great military leader, and caes just like and so Caesar slowly foments rebellion. The only kind human he ever knew was killed by other humans, so he has no fucking love for the human race. And the whole movie is about I know, oh it's so good, but the whole movie is about him fomenting like revolution, and it it is. It's powerful even now, you can see I still get emotional thinking about it. But when they made it, we were not We were still in the throes of the civil rights movement, and it was not like lost on people that this was a like good science fiction. This story was holding a mirror up to our world. And so the end of the movie originally was the apes killing everybody. Oh wow. And then the studio got scared. They're like, I I can't guarantee this won't be a fucking clarion call to true revolution because the times were so fucking turbulent at that moment. So what they did instead was they do this like shot of you know, it was Rody McDowell playing Caesar, playing his own son, because he had played Cornelius as well, and so most of the time he shot in this like waste up or head to toeja. Then they come into this shot that's just his eyes, and it was this wasn't something they did while they were shooting the movie. They did this in posts where they're like, well, let's just assume it in the eyes. Then we're gonna make him say anything we want. And so he's building this fucking speech where he's like, we will crush the humans the way they have done to it, like it is powerful. And then they come into the shot and he goes but not today but you know, and then they land with like today begins the Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and you know, everyone's going like woww shit, but they pulled back because they were really scared that people would just fucking leave the theater and start tearing Town's partnership, being like, god, damn it, they understand and shit, that's incredible powerful filmmaking. The fifth in the series, Oh there's another one. It's called Battle for the Planet of the Apes, and it has its own charms, but it is a far cry from the previous four because basically it now takes place in the world we saw in the Planet of the Apes and so, but this is the last stand where humans and apes are fighting one another and shit like that. This is a notion that they took and really blew up in those new Planet of the Apes movies like man An April War and shit. So that's what they did in Battle for the Planet of the Apes. But at the end of it, which was meant to be the last one, and it was for like decades, they're all sitting together and they're the Lawgiver is uh is they're reading from the scroll of the Lawgiver.

00:46:12
Speaker 2: Who oh, there it goes again. I just like how I was like, are you gonna cry?

00:46:16
Speaker 1: And you're like, no, well not on that one. But I forgot how fucking hardcore gets.

00:46:21
Speaker 2: Oh we have to go through all five.

00:46:23
Speaker 1: There's a reason I love those movies. They're fucking powerful. And they would run them on the four to thirty movie.

00:46:29
Speaker 2: Movie.

00:46:30
Speaker 1: That's where I watched it the most, was on the four thirty movie and they would run short versions of the flick. So it wasn't until I got laser disc years after I was watching the Planet of the Apes movies where I saw the actual Planet of the Apes. I'd never seen the full version. Oh, I'd only seen the four thirty movie version, which was seventy two minutes. So they cut a two hour, fifteen minute movie to seventy two minutes and said this is Planet the Ape, And for my whole life, I was like, what it sure the fuck is? Yeah? Four to thirty movie ran from four thirty till six o'clock at night. That's only ninety minutes with commercials taken out. That puts you at between sixty five and seventy two minutes. Oh my god. So they took a two hour and change movie and cut it down to that length. So my version playing the Apes I grew up watching begins with them on the planet. But when I'm watching the Laser disc years later, it's like takes place out in fucking spaceship and I'm like, it's fucking nuts, man. We must got the uncut version. Did this come from Japan? Like is this a bootleg? But it was the actual full feature version that I'd never seen.

00:47:35
Speaker 2: That would be a mind fuck.

00:47:37
Speaker 1: It was kind of a mind fucker. I was like, they went to space first, Like what the I absolutely love those movies, No disrespect to the what they eventually did with the new movies. They people love those as well, but those movies like made Me who I Am? That was amongst the first fandom that was before even Star Wars, those movies. I like about you is you'll sit there and listen to any old bullshit without being like people have see move on.

00:48:13
Speaker 3: Well.

00:48:14
Speaker 2: Sometimes I like to see, like how far you're gonna go?

00:48:17
Speaker 1: And then I will sell you on this plane.

00:48:21
Speaker 2: There's a fourth one. Oh man, there's a big one.

00:48:23
Speaker 1: And I thought I was in charge of the show. You are in charge of the show. What were we talking about before? I it's been like an hour. I know we asked a very specific question. What was it? How the fun did we get to age?

00:48:38
Speaker 2: I have no fucking idea. Him blushing.

00:48:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're watching on that Kevin Smith club, you could see that he's blushing. I saw somebody bitching about h and rightfully, so I'm not dismissing it going like bitching, but somebody going like, hey man, I was watching something, oh abalon video from the last Babylon we did and will put up an ad for beardless, stickless me. And he was a club member. He's like beer of Stickless Me is on. iHeart, like, what am I paying for the fucking club for? Man? I could just listen to show for free, and people pointed out, like you you can't watch the show anyplace else. And there's also the after show as well. I don't think the gentleman was that persuaded about Beardless Stickless Plus. That's right, beerdless Stickless plus is the after show. That's where the party happens. This is the business. This is the fucking that is the mullet of beardless stickless Me, because business up front, then it's all parts. But but so it did make me go like, oh, that's true. I have I've stopped doing anything else for the club except beardless Stickless Me. So I started a new show called Silent Bob's Breakdown.

00:49:51
Speaker 2: Oh what's that?

00:49:52
Speaker 1: Well? It works on two levels. One is me just like, hey man, this is what we're up to and fucking like.

00:49:58
Speaker 2: But then it's also the world slots.

00:50:01
Speaker 1: What are we gonna do? Nobody?

00:50:03
Speaker 2: Right?

00:50:03
Speaker 1: No?

00:50:03
Speaker 2: Right?

00:50:04
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:50:04
Speaker 1: So a bit of that good for the mental health. I realized I was suffering silently and I was like why why I could kill sorry, I could feed thank you two birds with one seed by using my fucking the fock's going on and just channeling it into a thing. Yeah, it's the stuff I forgot from when I was in the fucking nuthouse and shit. But it did come back where I was like, oh, well, you can, you know, still deal with your issues while getting something done.

00:50:36
Speaker 2: I'm sure other people are relating.

00:50:39
Speaker 1: I saw a few people being like, I get it, Yeah, I get it.

00:50:42
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people feel the same way right now. Yeah, it's pretty interesting times.

00:50:48
Speaker 1: May you live in interesting times? Tariff scout YEP called off for ninety days.

00:50:55
Speaker 2: Oh what wait?

00:50:57
Speaker 1: They got called off for ninety days except for China, China. He jacked it up.

00:51:03
Speaker 2: Austin went and bought a phone yesterday before the terrorifts went into effect.

00:51:07
Speaker 1: I told Mom because Mom was talking about, like I need a laptop. I was like, we should be doing it now, because like, right across a couple or at least twelve hundred dollars more. Yeah, that's twelve hundred dollars I could be spending on fucking bowling Clark. Yeah, come on, priorities, woman, Geez, I make my family go without so I could have pictures of dead cartoons for now.

00:51:32
Speaker 2: I remember what we were talking about.

00:51:34
Speaker 1: Fire Away, good thing, welcome back co host.

00:51:39
Speaker 2: Well, fuck, I was just staring in amazement as my dad walked me through all five fucking Planet of the Apes films. My god, I'm a good ass daughter. I just sit here politely and listened to the coal miner's daughter explanation.

00:51:55
Speaker 1: One of the first things I said when I was done was like, it's so.

00:51:57
Speaker 2: Lovely, not even the synopsis, the hole play by play, you.

00:52:01
Speaker 1: Tell you something, Grandpopoly. He wouldn't have explained something that long.

00:52:06
Speaker 2: Oh I don't know that many.

00:52:08
Speaker 1: So what I didn't get as a child I gave as an adult.

00:52:11
Speaker 2: Oh, thank god.

00:52:12
Speaker 1: I always dreamed my old man would sit down and explain shit to me painfully to the point that I understood.

00:52:19
Speaker 2: He threw a five franchise.

00:52:21
Speaker 1: Exactly fucking I want to know every detailed, dad.

00:52:25
Speaker 2: Describing it in such detail that he cried multiple times.

00:52:29
Speaker 1: And my father wouldn't do that either. Although he would cry at movies. I saw my old crime movies. That's the only time I ever really saw him get emotional, except when like, like his mom died. I don't think he cried when his dad died. Maybe he did, but none around us. But in the movies he had no problem just being like, I respect.

00:52:45
Speaker 2: You gotta let it out sometimes, Oh my god.

00:52:48
Speaker 1: Like that led to me being an artist, like looking at my fucking father, like get emotional about art. There's definitely a fucking connection there and shit. But that being said, he never would have over explained the Planet of the Apes.

00:53:01
Speaker 2: They're sucking me.

00:53:03
Speaker 1: Count your fucking blessings. I dreamed of my old man explaining all the Planet of the Apes movies to me. It would have been amazing. This is my old man. Huh, Like I guess this hearing got bad to you know, toward not the well, I guess what wound up being the end, but we didn't think it was going to be the end. But like his so he was always like I'd be like, hey, dad, did you watch that thing? Huh? Did you watch that thing?

00:53:33
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, oh my god, fucking Austin does that yes, And I'm like, you fucking heard me, you know what I said?

00:53:44
Speaker 1: If I hear him do it and it triggers me, oh no, if I'm sorry, if I'm like.

00:53:53
Speaker 2: Or who I just remember playing of the Apes?

00:53:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like Austin, sit down. Do you know about the planet the Apes? Have you seen these movies? Not the new ones. I'm talking about the old ones with the rubber masks and ship because that's what makeup was real. You can't paint dots on your face and put it on fucking monkey skin later. You gotta wear fucking prosthetics on your face. It gotta look like your mouth don't even move. That's the crazy thing. If you watch Roddy McDowell, this is Academy Award winning makeup, and I'm taking shit away because it's amazing. But like that dude had to overact with his mouth to make the monkey mouth move a little bit. So when you watch the movie, there's a lot of like, you don't understand Tarla. We have to stop general, you know, because it's not like form to their lips and shit. But it was ahead of its time makeup. That's what I would say to Austin if he was like huh huh, and then he'd learn never to say huh again because he'd be like, oh my god, whenever I say hung around your dad he over explains movies. I don't give a fuck of that.

00:54:54
Speaker 2: He just walks me through the playing out the apes.

00:54:57
Speaker 1: He's very passionate about it. I will say that for him.

00:55:00
Speaker 2: But we were talking about toothless about.

00:55:04
Speaker 1: Epic Universe Universe. I always want to say Epic Adventure, Epic Universe, Universal's new theme park in Florida, Epic Adventures so close, Yes, yes, mine sounds better the illiterative. Technically, I guess Epic Universe is also alliterative because it begins with a vowel, both of them, but it doesn't have the illiterative sound because that you.

00:55:30
Speaker 2: I thought an alliteration was the same letter. It's not.

00:55:33
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be. I never know, so it could be like an egregious anecdote. Oh that begins with an A in an a whoa. Don't quote man, but I'm pretty sure that's right. I didn't know, So I think Epic Adventure, like my mouth just wants to say that, it's little more lyricals Epic Universe is like Epic Universe, two different.

00:55:54
Speaker 2: Works, and put some respect on that name. That's a good ass theme park.

00:55:57
Speaker 1: We see on the side, whether it's epic or not when I go fucking visit it and shit like that. But I do look forward to it. They got a monster Land, they got aphon Universe that's called Dark Universe.

00:56:08
Speaker 2: They got fucking how to Train Your Dragon, Isles of Burke.

00:56:12
Speaker 1: How to Train your Dragon Land? They got Super Nintendo Land.

00:56:16
Speaker 2: They have that out here, right, yeah, but they have the Donkey Kong Ride.

00:56:20
Speaker 1: What are you doing that?

00:56:21
Speaker 2: You jump in your little cart and it's donkey like the cart like yes, and it jumps off of a broken little fuck you.

00:56:33
Speaker 1: I know, I know you're a kid. I probably shouldn't express myself that way, but what yes, seriously, yes, bitch, I've been saying, we got called to the cart. You've well coasted a fly off track or nothing. Bro. It feels like that serious and it looks like that. I want to go all right? What other lands they got there?

00:56:51
Speaker 2: Let's see Dark Universe, Aisles of Burke, Super Nintendo World. Oh, Harry Potter.

00:56:58
Speaker 1: Situation, but they have a Harry Powder situation now.

00:57:02
Speaker 2: But this one is different. They have the Ministry of Magic, so.

00:57:07
Speaker 1: It's a whole different Harry Potter theme park. Yes, so strange because Harry Powder not part of Universal made by Warner Brothers. Still is yeah, no, that is very true. But Warner Brothers don't have their own theme parks. They are like, go ahead, do you want to overpass for that? Feel free?

00:57:22
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you know what I found out today through a vlog? Tell me Universal somewhere I can't remember has Snoopy. They have Snoopy.

00:57:36
Speaker 1: They so they're going to bring them to the park.

00:57:38
Speaker 2: They I think it's in a Universal park in Asia, but they have the rights to Snoopy there.

00:57:44
Speaker 1: At that park.

00:57:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, at that park.

00:57:46
Speaker 1: Not mean enough to make me travel. I'll wait till they.

00:57:49
Speaker 2: But they also have Hello, kiddy.

00:57:53
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've been paying attention to headlines. Americans not very popular or abroad right now?

00:57:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it.

00:57:58
Speaker 1: Yeah I can't imagine. Yeah me overly welcome.

00:58:03
Speaker 2: Yeah I get it.

00:58:06
Speaker 1: Yeah there anything you did, Yeah there anything I did? But yeah, just fucking Bobs breakdown. When that comes to the class next up shouldn't be joined by Hartley's breakdown. I can't go to the theme parks I want to go to. Yeah, Oh my god, fucking talk about a first world problem.

00:58:31
Speaker 2: If you really want to get deep, I got mad problem.

00:58:35
Speaker 1: That's only those are only the problems you're willing to show.

00:58:38
Speaker 2: The mental disorders run deep.

00:58:40
Speaker 1: Yeah. The theme park is just for show. Yes, yeah, I'm going to be out, you know, because of the dog matur I'm going to be in Florida on Mother's Day. So there's talk of us going to Epic Universe. There you go Epic while we're there, because it's in previews or something like that. I'll let you know how it is. You will be here with your mother?

00:59:06
Speaker 2: Oh my god, if you go without.

00:59:07
Speaker 1: Me celebrating Mother's Day, I just.

00:59:09
Speaker 2: Want you to know that if you go without me, I'm never going to figure.

00:59:12
Speaker 1: You know, it's not my fault. You got a mother, hey, brother, Well, actually you're right. You may have got me on that one. It is fuck. You can lay that right on my feet. All right? My bad? Not fuck? Do you think you'll follow? Would you come out on Monday Tues?

00:59:29
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about it.

00:59:30
Speaker 1: Wow, that is commitment to a fucking theme park. Bro.

00:59:33
Speaker 2: You know ordinary Adventures you fly coach? Yeah, I'll that's committment to Oh, I will drive my ass.

00:59:42
Speaker 1: You think it would take you to drive from here to Florida? So long? Yeah? But how long do you think? Is long?

00:59:47
Speaker 2: Like a week?

00:59:50
Speaker 1: Probably? Like doing it the way you can get it done in three days.

00:59:53
Speaker 2: But that's nice.

00:59:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, you would drive that hardcore and ship and it's so about a week about right.

00:59:57
Speaker 2: My car would break down? My car's piece of Ship?

01:00:00
Speaker 1: Is it really? We sho had one of them? Rich parents? Right? Can be driving around it Badley and Ship. People like, oh my god, it's nice. Check me, daddy got it for me?

01:00:09
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Can you imagine my car?

01:00:13
Speaker 1: Bro? I'm sure that's how some people imagine.

01:00:18
Speaker 2: I'm driving.

01:00:19
Speaker 1: You saw Harley's Piece of Ship car and then you were thought for a second danny at me. They would be like, well, your dad didn't give your dad wanted you to look like a would.

01:00:33
Speaker 2: My car was recalled and they wouldn't give me a new one.

01:00:37
Speaker 1: So are you still driving? I had no choice. I leased it to Cove. Motherfucker. Why that car? I don't know who picked it? I did based on the color.

01:00:51
Speaker 2: Yes, I see was recalled.

01:00:57
Speaker 1: You should hear the breaks through lemon. Stop driving a recalled car and you're also driving on a donut, aren't you? Did you get the car at the tire replace? Yeah? I did, Thank heavens.

01:01:08
Speaker 3: If you saw me roll up to my parents house a few days ago in my fucking recalled car.

01:01:18
Speaker 1: Harley's here. Oh my god, bro, it is true, Like for anybody that's just like fun, she just get everything. I have to do a tour around her ship box and be like, oh, I guess they're one of those parents that are like, well, I'm not leaving her anything, And then Aaron is just to make her own way, you know, I don't know why. Well, I mean, I haven't bought a car in a long time. I think buying a car is for suckers, unless you're buying a used car, buying a new car. I never buying something where you fucking drive it off the lot and it appreciates thirty percent right then and there, like fuck bat. Now there's some people that are like, hey, but you can get a car that fucking values up, but like, I'm not, I'm not going to take care of something like a Mustang or some ship. And then they're like used to be you could count on like old Tesla's we're still selling for well, but now that's in the fucking toilet shit. So there ain't a car on the planet you drive off the lot and it's still worth the same amount of money it was when you put your name on that piece of paper. That's a sucker, bet, bro. So I got a company because I have to do business and shit, so I lease cars now through the company.

01:02:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the way I got to say. Actually, you just saying through my company.

01:02:36
Speaker 1: You might have learned that from a from somebody who are from a guy. Yeah. Now, maybe I'm wrong, And if we're long, if we're hey, let us know what you think in the comments below. It could be that people like that's stupid and shit, but there you are affected by then the stupid choices that I made as a parent.

01:02:57
Speaker 2: But who has the money to put down to buy a car, And.

01:03:01
Speaker 1: Also like not me, yeah, not me? Yeah, man, it appreciates and like at least if you have a business, you can write off the vehicle like yeah, as like this is my business vehicle and stuff.

01:03:15
Speaker 2: I'm just more about like the month to month payments. That's where I'm at because I'm not trying to put down twenty thousand dollars.

01:03:25
Speaker 1: For exactly for cars.

01:03:26
Speaker 2: And I don't even know.

01:03:28
Speaker 1: I guess you're right.

01:03:29
Speaker 2: I think it's more than that. I have no idea. I think I'm not even looking over.

01:03:33
Speaker 1: There when I go for like when my car lease is a mercifully Carol does everything, so I just go into a place and sign something. But I believe I remember signing a document that had a lot of figures on it where I was like, is that what this fucking car is worth?

01:03:47
Speaker 2: You grab a nice, nice car.

01:03:50
Speaker 1: I love driving here, but I wouldn't buy that shit, Like.

01:03:56
Speaker 2: There are way more important things to spend money on.

01:03:58
Speaker 1: Buy that shit? Cool and cool? That's right, man, I found out the statue. I want what the opening price is gonna be? Oh my god? Why not that bad?

01:04:07
Speaker 2: Is it embarrassing?

01:04:08
Speaker 1: No, it's not embarrassing. It's very manageable. However, I'm glad it is where Oh isn't.

01:04:13
Speaker 2: It an eight tall statue? Gigantic mom that has her opinions?

01:04:20
Speaker 1: Fuck? But fucking living that statue. It's amazing. What about what? Well?

01:04:25
Speaker 2: Okay, well no, what about the Jaws statue? Remember the hanging shark?

01:04:34
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you mean you should get that? Oh? I thought you remembered when we had in this house. I'm like, I don't know that.

01:04:41
Speaker 2: One that we talked about a while ago, Like the ten foot tall fucking Jaws statue. That would be real cool outside by the pool.

01:04:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, big fiberglass shark. Yeah, you know somebody got one. No, I wish I was flash man. I was like, fucking red And that's stupid money to just waste and ship.

01:05:02
Speaker 2: Totally do that just by a pool. That'd be so cool.

01:05:05
Speaker 1: We would be fire like the one that's up at Universal.

01:05:07
Speaker 2: Like yeah, yeah, Loo's be fucking sick.

01:05:10
Speaker 1: And you could probably see it from the road. If we had it by on our deck, people would be like oh, And then it would capture the imagination of every kid that drove past the house. Because when I was a kid, there was a house in my neighborhood that in the backyard had these giant like wooden cut out and every time I passed out, I only saw it once when I was a youth. For the rest of my life, whenever I passed the house, I'd look in the yard and ship it was never there again. I don't know if I dream it.

01:05:33
Speaker 2: My neighbors have a teacup from Alice in Wonderland the Mad Hutter ride at Disneyland.

01:05:40
Speaker 1: I was going to say I have a teacup from Bulwinkle somewhere, but you're talking about a teacup that motherfucker sits.

01:05:45
Speaker 2: In the Mad Tea Party ride at Disneyland.

01:05:47
Speaker 1: I think that's that. I think a lot of money, is that right? I think did you ever be like, yow much? How much you want?

01:05:57
Speaker 3: You?

01:05:57
Speaker 1: Guys, they probably had all the fun they're going to have with it? Yeah? Let me yeah, let me like, look, how about do you just want to clear out some space? Put in my arm?

01:06:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably need some space.

01:06:09
Speaker 1: Things are fucking expensive. I saw those are so expensive. Well. I was at Van Eaton Gallery where we're doing the Bowlenkal panel on April nineteen.

01:06:20
Speaker 2: And.

01:06:22
Speaker 1: He showed me a mister Toad's car. Oh man, how much came from world?

01:06:33
Speaker 2: Okay, no, they don't have They don't have mister Toad's.

01:06:37
Speaker 1: Anymore because they did, they did when I was a child. Absolutely, yeah, they don't got it no more. So that's where it's from. It's from Disney World, mister Toad. They still have it in Disneyland though, right yeah, mister six figures easy. Yeah, you're talking about one hundred hundred fifty birthdays coming up. It's a car that only works at Disney Like, it's not like it's got its own motive and you can drive it on the street and shit like that.

01:07:07
Speaker 2: Wait, how much is your statue?

01:07:10
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I honestly don't want to say, because I want anyone bidden against me. But it's the opening bid, which I don't think it's going to stay there is manageable. It sounds like I was. I was fearing that it was going to be so big to begin with unless yeah, So I was fearing that it was going to be like yeah, and then it's, oh, shit, fucking I'm gonna put it maybe one bid and then be blown.

01:07:35
Speaker 2: Out of the water for an eight foot statue that ain't bad, a foot statue that was made in nineteen sixty. If you join that Kevin Smith club, you could see the number that we're talking about.

01:07:46
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, that's right. I was sitting there doing this shit. I really felt like I had it over on everybody. I was like, we're talking code and they don't even know what we're saying. And I forgot there's a video. There's a whole video. I can think of no better commercial for that Given's Good club than see the figures. If you need to know. Fuck, but also if you can't see it, if you just listen closer. You can how many times I opened my figures? There it is because there's your beardless stickless me for this week. Wow, And just like that, That's how life happens. Sometimes it just ends and talk to your fucking grandpopoly I'll tell you. Oh fuck sobering words. We had a good time, but we have to end on a serious note, serious note. I'm going to die with that, Okay. Thank you for listening to Beardless with me.

01:08:43
Speaker 2: Thank you, and good night for.

01:08:46
Speaker 1: Beardless stickless Me. Don't forget man Dog Momovie dot com.

01:08:50
Speaker 2: Get your tickets, don't forget send them in the band. Go listen to it anyways.

01:08:55
Speaker 1: The track that you dropped, if you will and will you be picking it up now that you've dropped it? Thank you?

01:09:00
Speaker 2: Huh uh. Our first track is called Star, Our second track is called why on.

01:09:06
Speaker 1: The third track will also have a one word title, probably MASSI just the title no what is it? Bull sack? There? Fuck you. I'm so glad you opened the door.

01:09:20
Speaker 2: I shut it, then I opened it, then you threw it open.

01:09:23
Speaker 1: All I had to do with some of this shit.

01:09:25
Speaker 2: You look sad, so I had to say is acting.

01:09:28
Speaker 1: Oh that's what it was what the thing I wanted to remember before someone I remember I read that one tweet from some guy. Yeah. Someone else was like when I see another like what do you think of when you see these guys see this picture? And someone wrote I think Kevin Smith is brilliant because he is such a terrible actor. He figured out a way to be in movies and not talk.

01:09:59
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're you're actually really hey? Have you seen any Twigs video?

01:10:05
Speaker 3: Everybody?

01:10:06
Speaker 1: I know, what the fuck? I honestly wanted to like hit my man back and be like, come on, no, I hate on my fucking output as a director, but like.

01:10:14
Speaker 2: That's rude.

01:10:15
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty good actor. You really are. No, I'm not saying sound Bob just.

01:10:19
Speaker 2: Send him the link to the FK Twigs video.

01:10:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.

01:10:21
Speaker 1: I was like, check out this bag of video.

01:10:23
Speaker 2: Man.

01:10:23
Speaker 1: Man, he was like, are you serious? Are you really reaching out to me to convince me to like a ship? How fucking thirsty are I was like, I'm really thirsty actually for thirty one years on total thirst.

01:10:37
Speaker 2: Please love me, please please please love me?

01:10:41
Speaker 1: Love me? Oh man, there it is true. Words were never spoken by a fucking artist. Mutch Cover that fucking song. Send him in the band.

01:10:55
Speaker 3: Says your invitation of my voice and I hate you.

01:11:02
Speaker 1: You scared me.

01:11:05
Speaker 2: That's your favorite line, you scared me? Why was I British? Just sc scared me?

01:11:16
Speaker 1: Where are you?

01:11:19
Speaker 2: Pretty?

01:11:21
Speaker 1: Scar?

01:11:23
Speaker 2: Star?

01:11:23
Speaker 1: Now that's true, You're star.

01:11:26
Speaker 3: Now.

01:11:29
Speaker 1: There it is. There's your beardless tickless mohafer this week? And do you know what number? This is? No me neither. We have to have a discussion about do we continue calling it this or do we when we hit our year two call it something completely different.

01:11:45
Speaker 2: I'm sure iHeart would appreciate that.

01:11:49
Speaker 1: I mean, I I just putting it out there. I'll see it's an idea. Man. There it is. Kids, there's your beardless. An intriguing end to beard. The stickless means people are like, well what they called it?

01:12:08
Speaker 2: Maybe we'll talk about it on Beardless Stickless Plus.

01:12:10
Speaker 1: That's exactly what we're gonna talk about. A beerdles stickless plus could call well done. That's marketing. Yeah, you know, chip off the old block, chip off the old bob. There it is And.

01:12:27
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

01:12:28
Speaker 1: Gover Beardless Stickles Day. This has been a podcast production some podcast podcast using our Mouths on You since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what. We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that Kevin Smith Club dot com. Go sign up now,