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Its Where I Am focuses on the various mental health struggles that people all around the world face every day. Each episode covers a different facet of mental health with a new special guest. It's Where I Am airs on 91.5 Jazz & More every second Saturday of the month.
Unknown Speaker 0:00
You're listening to locally produced programming created in KU NV studios on public radio K, u and v 91.5. The content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 Jazz and more. The University of Nevada Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education, you're listening to special programming brought to you by it's where I am.com The content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 Jazz and more University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents and the Nevada System of Higher Education.
Zandra Polard 0:59
Good morning, Las Vegas, it's Zondra cologuard. It's where I am. That's the name of the show. Thank you for tuning in 91.5 Jazz and more. Your favorite and the best jazz station in the nation. Thank you so much for tuning in. You know, I'm here every Saturday at 7:30am. And today, I have a wonderful guest who was also a longtime friend of mine. Actress Balaji Parker is here. Thank you for coming. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:40
Hello, Las Vegas. I love you. I love you. And I love to come like to say wins money from you. But you may not always like that. But I always have a great time. Oh, girl. Yes. Thank you for having me. Absolutely.
Zandra Polard 1:58
Thank you, you know, it's beautiful. Well, you know, my voice has come a long way. And you also helped me along the way. Remember, we were doing a show together? When my voice was actually still kind of, you know
Unknown Speaker 2:14
all about that. Yeah. What happens to your voice? Correct? I totally, I totally forgot. Like, I remember now. I mean, yeah, while we were doing the forum with God he set out to gotta he's out there and Vegas. corrupt. Yeah. Okay, correct. So yes, I do remember now, like, have you had an operation or what was happening?
Zandra Polard 2:40
Girls, so I had goiters in my throat and they had to be removed. And when they were removed, I got paralysis on both sides of my vocal cords. So this happened before I was doing doing radio. And all of a sudden, I'm getting these, you know, radio gigs. And I'm talking and it's like, wait a minute, I don't even have a voice. But somehow, I am still being heard. being lowered. So I've come along
Unknown Speaker 3:16
to DLC. And be honest. You kind of gave me DLC. But it was that? You know, you
Zandra Polard 3:26
thought it was kind of nice. You know, the guys like, you know, I'm
Unknown Speaker 3:31
trying to sell you bad. You need no, I love your voice. I'm glad your voice has returned. It was It did what it needed to do in that moment.
Zandra Polard 3:40
And you know, I've been in radio now. For Thank you. Yeah. But you know, I've been in radio for girls. I don't know if it's the feedback. But when I'm talking you're talking I think is because you have a little feedback.
Unknown Speaker 3:55
I'm sorry. See that? No. Yeah, you're not you know, y'all think I don't let nobody talk anyway. So you don't get that is the feedback.
Zandra Polard 4:07
This time is the feedback. But you know, you were on the show prior. Maybe it's been about two years. The family? No, no, you were on this show about two years ago. And so yes. Your show Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So I want to know
Unknown Speaker 4:24
on what the nice couple and they are relationship gurus. And I had another young lady on. So yes, you always have such interesting guests. I really learned a lot from you know, that couple as well. And I think they have a podcast and a book and they do tours and speeches and you know, speak to people about you know, their experiences and you know, no one is doing what this twin flame thing is doing. But you know, we're all trying to keep love alive. Sandra, you're coming on my husband and myself. We have a podcast on YouTube. It's called married people. So, you know, I, I think you guys know what that was. I can't say it. But it starts
Zandra Polard 5:23
with an S. It's just and it's not stuff. Right?
Unknown Speaker 5:28
It's just about letting people know that whatever you're going through, sometimes we think we live on an island in our relationship. And especially because we women, we have smart mouth. And sometimes men think like, it's just them. Like, you're not going to talk to me like that. Sweetie, every woman in the world is talking to her husband like that is not just just married people. Right? So I think that specifically could help men relax, like just knowing that we're all going through the same. And it's okay. You know, we can see this through with love. And, you know, I, some of my favorite couples are calling it quits. So this is just like, to me, the perfect time.
Zandra Polard 6:26
Wait, so I have a question. So some of your favorite couples that are breaking up? How are they like, have they been married for many years? Are they or have they been short term?
Unknown Speaker 6:37
Data? And well, like, oh, what's going on there? You're blowing my mind people. girl out. You're really messing up my my roof. Yeah. I'm feeling like, Kendrick like, you know, please don't kill my Hi, Billy. You know, I'm like, what's going on? Out? You're really messing with me.
Zandra Polard 6:57
And now so Kendrick Lamar is getting divorced.
Unknown Speaker 7:01
No, not him. I like his song. Oh,
Zandra Polard 7:04
okay. Girl, okay.
Unknown Speaker 7:08
Like, dang. No. Is the man
Zandra Polard 7:13
I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, he
Unknown Speaker 7:15
is married. He married the his girlfriend. They might even have a kid or something. Yeah. Can't drink and going no, or a good? No. But you know, Gabby and Dwayne Wade. You know, they're going through it. And
Zandra Polard 7:35
wait a minute back it up. Because you know, I always remember a good story. Remember, when we went out to that red carpet event? I think you did a movie with Spike Lee or something. And we went to this event. And Gabrielle Union was there. And she asked us to come to her husband's birthday party. Now. It wasn't Dwayne Wade at the time. Yeah, it was a football player. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, we showed the girl and I got those gift bags off the hook. Girl, they had them in black and white. I said, I want the black one. And the white one. They had trips in there. They had movies in there. They had purses, just all kinds of swag.
Unknown Speaker 8:22
We had a really, really good time. She really did. And thank you for reminding me what that was. Because I did a show about her. But I didn't mention any of that. I didn't mention the party. Because I do remember that we went to that party. Yes. And we, you know, we talked about relationships. And, you know, I had just broken up with an athlete at the time. And, and I think he called and the party and some little girl like, came over and was trying to, you know, he wanted to talk to you on the phone. He wanted to marry me all this crazy stuff. And Gabrielle was looking at me like and like she said something like, You mean, you broke up with him? And I was looking at her like like, tell that person you know, he thought it made me have a better idea of a threesome with this big river. Oh, I was. That's not who I am. But she heard that conversation. And you know it. I think it because it dawned on she wasn't happy. And she was throwing him this birthday party. And she spent all this money on it. And she was not happy and it never dawned on her that she asked this day cuz, like, like, you mean, you don't want to be with him? Like, like, it was not a part of her psyche to? I don't know, maybe she just thought that about me. I don't know, maybe it was, but it seemed like a light.
Zandra Polard 10:19
Because a lot of times a lot of times people think if someone, to them in their mind what success is right? But you have to go by how that person treats you. Like you said you wasn't down with the big booty stripper lady?
Unknown Speaker 10:37
No, but some of these maybe she would have been. I don't know, robot. Yeah. You know what I can't call it. But it's, it's interesting that soon after they divorced, like, very soon after they got a divorce. And then now she's in this marriage. And some big blood stripper lady is saying that. I'm just saying, I'm not about I am honestly on her side, because she is that diva BIA. And I love like, we wouldn't have gone to the party if I didn't. And I don't think that, you know, people understand that she can say, I don't want to be with you. And it seems to me, like it's being fun in a way that's making her seem like she's this bad guy who, you know, being sermon. And I don't know. But, you know, I do know that. We are women. I don't care what we say to you, you're still a man, you're going to always be a man. You can beat me up at any time. The strength is in not beating me up, right? You know, so whatever she is saying or whatever they're interpreting as domineering, is just trying to express her truth. And it just seems unfair. The way it's being fun. Because at the end of the day, she's still bad be right, you know,
Zandra Polard 12:22
these are the type of things that you are talking about on your show. Right, right.
Unknown Speaker 12:26
Exactly. Yes. And we talk about relationships, and you know, how to navigate them intelligently. Like, you don't need a book. You don't mean, like, when we were talking about Gabrielle and her relationship, it seems real twin flame me to me, you know, just from the different interview that I've been seeing, you know, coming from their own mouth. And I don't even have to say allegedly because I've seen them say that she said she kind of stopped them. Like he was going through it. And he or she soda as he was like, about to break up with it, but then it was there. And it just seems a little twin flaming in the way that they encouraged women to stalk. I mean, not necessarily those that because, you know, there's a thin line between being aggressive and being that kind of gal that goes and gets her man and being a stalker, you know, but because she is Gabrielle Union, I mean, come on. Do Are you gonna say? You really do want her there? I mean, let's be honest. You're going through it. You don't want to go through it alone. She's gone. Going to make your sandwich, you know? Get being in line, whatever, you
Zandra Polard 13:55
can absolutely come in and do your feet. I don't think she would be doing it. No,
Unknown Speaker 13:59
I doubt it. I doubt that very fair. Really. Thorough, please.
Zandra Polard 14:04
So as you're talking about these other celebrities and people that you know, because most
Unknown Speaker 14:08
of them no, you're right. You're absolutely right, baby, because I'm talking about me and you. We would do his feet. But you're right. These women, when they get you know, fancy pants, they do bring in two little girls to do the feet and nails. You're absolutely right. Yeah. So I would have done to see but I
Zandra Polard 14:31
was are you on this list?
Unknown Speaker 14:37
Looking at be like Yeah, right. Yeah. You say, girl you gotta I did leave a bad girl feet.
Zandra Polard 14:44
Girl you got his foot up right now wait for you to push back the cuticles and wrote some lotion on him. So listen, do you also incorporate some of your personal relationship experience on the show as well?
Unknown Speaker 14:59
I do. Okay, do,
Zandra Polard 15:00
I do know, I'm gonna give a little tea, I'll give an example. I want to give low tea. So, when you and your husband first got married, you got a lot of flack from the industry for marrying for love. Right? For love for the love and the respect and not for the money. How many millions of dollars yet? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 15:30
And see, what people don't understand is the history of Hollywood, Hollywood was built on dry California Land, it was nothing out here. So when the men wanted to come out here and make movies, they brought prostitutes, and easy women, because there weren't any women from miles and miles around. And they'd have to be working on these movies. And back then there wasn't sound it was just them their cameras, and nothing this, but they'd bring women who would service them. And you know, and that's how the casting couch began. Because, of course, you know, the director, he wants to be serviced. If you want the job, you have to prove to me that you'll service all my people. And well, so then it just grew into I mean, it began the whole concept of, you know, actors being, you know, easy is because it like it was, it began with Shakespeare, because you need funding, you need money to make, to do a play, to make a movie, to do a television show. And people with money are usually men, and to get the money out of their pockets and into your movie. You give them these Hollywood starlet, you know, it's been documented throughout the ages that Hollywood starlet bring in money, and a lot of them are used in the base to do that to those ends. And, you know, so it all goes back to when Hollywood raises a star. They do not want her to just marry you know, someone that is not going to give back to
Zandra Polard 17:23
Hollywood. Okay, okay,
Unknown Speaker 17:25
let's see, that's, like, caught like thinking because, you know, Hollywood goes, they even make you date people within the industry that will give you a better, you know, image or promote, you know, you, whatever, you know. So, it's this vicious, like, cult like behavior, because sometimes it does begin as they put you together, sometimes it works. And sometimes it doesn't, you know, and then you have to pick up the pieces of your life during those times when maybe it's just some guy who needs a beard. And that means like, in Hollywood, it's a gay man that they don't want people to know, gay. So they call them they call the starlet a beard because she's covering
Zandra Polard 18:25
face. Okay?
Unknown Speaker 18:28
You know, they'll do that. So it sets the mindset of actresses into thinking, we have to bring in money to be able to work, especially. And it's not even just like, I want to say, especially black actresses, but it's not. It's all of us. We have to bring money into the industry. And we're supposed to if we marry money, that money is supposed to be used to promote movies, to make films to keep the legacy of Hollywood alive. And that is why they like to keep it in the family. They like to keep the money that they've given you in their pocket, or coming back and it's the same with models. You know, they really count models, like our member who told me and I'm not gonna spend on answers it might have been you. One of the somebody was working for a multibillionaire and Eric, and I wouldn't meet and, and they saw check receipts, where he had flown in a famous model and paid her a million dollars. Oh,
Zandra Polard 19:51
no, that wasn't my story. Am
Unknown Speaker 19:55
I giving her Oh, so whoever it is, don't get mad at me because the do Would ended up getting, you know, put in jail or something, because he was stealing money from whatever he was doing and sit back to where he's from. So he's not, and I'm not saying any names, but don't get mad. Don't remember who you are anyway. But you know, the person that seen the receipt, and I know the person, and a lot, they had no reason. So my point is, you know, that million dollars that she got, is going to go back into the industry is going to pay for her to live well, which makes the industry look good. It's going to pay for her to get designer outfits, which makes the industry look good. That's why they want us to marry money. And, you know, it's not fair. Because if you fall in love, you want to marry for love. And it sucks, because then you kind of get cut off. And you have to find your own way. And this is something I was meant to do. And, you know, I it's it's like, it's all I know,
Zandra Polard 21:12
You've been acting since what, two or four years old? You had your first question? Yes,
Unknown Speaker 21:17
it's like my, my thing. And you know, when you love something, and someone tells you that you're you know, you can't do it, simply because of some, you know, some some rules that make absolutely no sense. Maybe they did back in 1899? Or what 1921 To start,
Zandra Polard 21:42
do you feel? Do you feel more protected and safe? Because you've married? Yeah, being married? Yeah. And this industry? Or in that industry? Yeah. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 21:55
Yeah, I do that. And you know, all the right questions to ask because this industry is dangerous. It really, really is, like, you, your car constantly, like set up with people who are for profession, they beat people up, like, their, their job is to beat people up. You're supposed to go out with them and think that they're not gonna want to beat you up at some point in your life. You know, it's just, it is it is and then you go on set, and, you know, sets. For children. It's just if you have a child that wants this, like I did, you know, you cannot just drop them off. Not in Hollywood, maybe my mom did that in Cleveland. But it's, it's just, you know, they like, kids. I don't, I don't know what it is. But it just, it's the nature. You just have to know, I don't know, why I don't, you know, I don't, I'm not saying everyone. But, you know, this industry breeds. People assuming that you are some type of way because they seen your boobs. In it's all across a big screen. And in their mind, it's like, those boobs were for me, you know, so I can come look at them anytime I want. You know, I paid my, I guess how much?
Zandra Polard 23:35
$25 Thank you. Well,
Unknown Speaker 23:39
so, you know, I, it's it is it, it does make me feel, because I was having to go to these sets by myself. And then see, like, rappers and like, a 16. And make it I'd be like, you know, because I'm that kind of chick. I'm from the Midwest. And, you know, sometimes I couldn't bring you a cook when I could. But when I couldn't, it'd be like, you know, but I'm cool with dudes, like, I am just cool with those. I get along well with men, because I do. So you know, I would make it I would turn it into that. But then, you know, there's always that one time out of 10 where, you know, it's gonna be something and those are the times that really stay with you. Unfortunately, you know, they are dramatically over and all your mind. Yes. That being in a relationship and, you know, my husband going on set with me, has really allowed me to be able to work more confidently without looking over my shoulder or being picked on because this industry it's it's there's so much money involved, right that people get crazy, like When you start throwing around a million dollars, it people go poopoo. Like you don't. You don't. You just don't know what you do in those situations. I personally, I've never been like that caught up where I've, I've done that, because that's why I never married those crazy people. Right? They always ask but but that million dollars doesn't mean what you what you may think, you know, and it comes and goes and it's just not what you think was the
Zandra Polard 25:36
name of that movie with Demi Moore.
Unknown Speaker 25:41
Yes. In decent prepend.
Zandra Polard 25:43
This is not in decent propose. Yeah. Yeah, this is
Unknown Speaker 25:47
in that's what I'm talking about. It really is.
Zandra Polard 25:51
Well, I go like I would at least ask mine is a million. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 25:56
You would ask? Yeah, I would ask you. No, but I would
Zandra Polard 26:02
if he said yes. Oh, no. Yeah, then yeah. Yeah, that would be worth it. Yeah. Like,
Unknown Speaker 26:07
I'm like, Yes, you want the million. But in? And maybe that's why I'm broke, you know, clearly. Because I guess you're supposed to say, Yeah, give me the million I may not want to do it to you. But it was to me just close my eyes and, and let it out. And and I got a million dollars. And I I I was brought to this industry by God. And I stand on God. And I just never felt that I needed to, or want it to and I have my career has suffered. And that's okay. Because I am still standing on God and I'm still standing. So, that is what I am trying to get. Not just these la chicks to see. But all women, all people, we do not have to what you may consider, you know, given up or there's a word for it, like you just, you know, say says it I'll just married somebody, whatever. No, not settling. When you are marrying someone for love for you. There is someone for you that fits into your your, your box, your quirkiness, your, your what you believe in God, what you believe for your career, there is someone out there who's not going to say, oh, that's crazy. You know, there's someone out there who believes in you like you believe in you. And if you don't have that, it's not worth it.
Zandra Polard 27:50
Or wait for it to come. Hey, I want to thank you so much for coming onto the show. We're going to continue the conversation to make sure you tune in next week, same time 7:30am. We're going to continue the conversation with Paula J. Parker. And we're going to ask you some questions about Yes, we are ma'am. We're going to ask her some questions about the work she's doing now. With the Brown family. Doctor about what she's doing currently, who better come on my show a woman begs her a nice shirt. Well, we're going to discuss more of that next week for now, I'll talk to you all next week when
Unknown Speaker 28:28
I will because she was trying to give us the game. But I wanted to compromise. But yeah, my baby always been trying to get me to gain a this
Zandra Polard 28:40
is she will be back. This is Audra. It's where I am. We'll talk to you guys next week. Love you have a great day.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai