Family worship: Tradition or transformation

The Seventh-day Adventist church in Australia (AUC) is encouraging people to get back into the habit of doing family worship. Sylvia Mendez, Children, Women's and Family director for AUC speaks about what worship is and how important it is. Worship is making time for God and recognising His work in our every day lives. For more information check out The Worship Project at <theworshipproject.org.au>. 

What is Record Live Podcast?

Record Live is a conversation about life, spirituality and following Jesus in the Seventh-day Adventist Church.

  📍                    Welcome back  to Record Live for 2024. 2024 has been going for a little while now, but we haven't done a broadcast yet. So, Zanita, Happy New Year.

Thank you. Welcome back.

Zanita. We're joined by a very special guest today. Sylvia Mendez is the, let me get this right, Sylvia, you're the Director of Children, no, sorry, Women and Family Ministries.

Children,

women and families, , those things are connected, but, it's a very big sort of area for the Seventh Day Adventist Church in Australia. So that's your, your role, your position, and it's really great to have you on today. We're going to talk about family worship and,, the AUC.

Which is, the group that sort of helps to organize the church , in Australia has a special passion or a project that they're running this year. And it's all about worship. So can you tell us a little bit about that project?

Yes. Thank you. Firstly, thanks, Jared and Zenita for. inviting me to be on your first program for this year.

That's exciting. Yeah, let me tell you a little bit about the worship project because at the Australian Union Conference, we're really excited that we can actually be working in this space. It's something that was identified From all our conferences around Australia and in fact,, if I actually go deeper, the general conference have also said, we actually have a problem with family worship numbers are in decline, statistically speaking, , on average, about 25 percent of Adventists say that they don't do family worship at all.

That's a pretty high number. So the conferences identified a problem and they came to us at the AUC and asked us to. Try and do something to help encourage more families into having worship time. So, that's how we now have this family worship initiative which we've called the worship project and actually it really kinda started last year and we'll be running yeah we've got three years three years of funding to try and really create awareness.

Awesome, I love how they've seen a need and acted on it. Can you tell us a little bit, for someone who hasn't heard about what the worship project is, what does it consist of and what can they expect from that?

Yep, I'm going to give you the really simple, we wanted to be able to simply communicate what the worship project is.

So I'm going to literally give you the why, the what, the how, a sentence for each one. That's pretty good, right? So the why the why of the worship project is simply Responding to God's invitation to come. Right? Scripture talks about God inviting us to come and spend time with him. So the why of the project is responding to God's invitation.

The what is developing a daily rhythm of time with God. That's what the project is all about. We want people to have a daily rhythm of connecting with god and the how is three words and at the end I should test you and see if you can remember these words but the three words are curate Create and educate.

So , we're gonna curate the good stuff that's out there because it's already a bunch of amazing resources that can encourage and facilitate worship, right? So we don't have to reinvent all the wheels. , we can curate and bring together the good stuff. Then when we identify gaps, we can go, hey, There's a real gap in this age group or for this particular type of resource.

So let's build some resources. So we'll create stuff. And the educate really is two pronged in that an education is required on, yep. Why worship is important. Like why do we do it? Who are we worshipping and how often should we do it? How long should it go for? So, we wanna have conversations about why we worship but also we wanna have conversations on how.

And this is something I'm really passionate about because I didn't grow up as an Adventist or a Christian. So I didn't grow up doing family worship. So when I became an Adventist as an adult with children, little children, and people would say, you know, are you doing family worship? And I would be like, I don't know what family worship is.

I don't know where to start. I don't know how long it's supposed to go for. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and so you know II recognize we have a lot of adults who actually join our church who have never done family worship and so to be able to be part of a project that will equip and empower parents who have never done worship.

To just make a start. That's something I'm really excited about.

My journalistic heart just was happy when you was breaking it down with the who, what, why. It's simple, it's a good place to start. To broaden the conversation a bit, Worship in the context that you're using the word is having two different meanings coming through. Let's define the word worship to start with, because a bit like church can be a place, a gathering, a group of people, you know, people will say, but the.

Biblical definition of churches, such as what is worship in terms of us and God? What is worship? And then how are we using it in sort of family worship? What does that look like?

That's an awesome question. And you're right. You ask 20 people what worship is and you'll get 20 different answers.

Right. And again, I am a big fan of keep it simple and if I was to define worship, I would actually go to Romans twelve verses one and two and particularly, I I'm not saying I'm the biggest advocate of the message version but in this instance, that particular version really captures, I believe, one of the best pictures of worship.

It says in Romans 12 verses one and two and now I'm about to paraphrase it into a Sylvia Mendes version but anyway take your ordinary everyday life. You're getting up, going to work, sitting at the table, going to bed, that just every moment, right? And place it before God as an offering. So to me when I think about worship, it's from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed.

I am in this connection with God that whatever I do, getting up, going down, driving, walking down the street, sitting at the table, there is an opportunity to be connected to God, which to me is an act of worship. So that's my simple answer,, if I was to become, put on my theological hat. And the studies that I did at Avondale, I'd have a much bigger answer with a lot of biblical examples of worship and ultimately what we would take from that is that worship is a response.

You know, worship is We the redeemed responding to the redeemer and that response looks different for each of us because of what we might be going through. Our response can be a response of joy and celebration. Our response can be tears and lament cuz we're in a season of grief but both can be actual worship.

So II will pause there. , just in case I've forgotten the next part of the question, it was

just about family. What, like, what do you mean by the word family worship that look like,

yeah, sorry, I kind of was like, oh, there was another part of that question. I've forgotten what it was when I think about family worship it for me, it's about intentionality, , actually bringing the family together.

to have a discussion about God. And family worship, again, can have some Very traditional thoughts around, oh, it has to be at this time. It has to go for this long. It has to follow this pattern. But actually, if we go back to, worship is a response and it can look different in different seasons.

I think, depending on the age of our children, again, family worship will look different because of where we're at. But at its core, it is an intentionality to actually have it. conversations with our family about God and to invite God into our space, into our everyday ordinary life, like Romans 12, and teaching our children to make God a part of their everyday ordinary life.

Yeah, that's awesome. I guess when you say, , I love that idea of worship, is a way of life and it's like we incorporate it into our ordinary routine and our ordinary day to day activities. When we think about like family worship and when I think about as a child it was like a very routine thing and I actually loved family worship as a kid but I don't I think from memory we would only do it like once a week but I guess what I'm getting at is like we think of worship as this thing we do in our ordinary day to day life.

, but then we think of family worship, and it's very, usually it's a very structured thing. And I think some parents have this expectation that they have to do, a mini church service with their family every day. And there's a lot of pressure around it. So how can we find a balance between those two sort of expectations of worship and family

worship.

Yeah. Absolutely. And I think historically when you look at a lot of the resources that were produced for family worship. Often there is this assumption that one of the parents is at home full time. So they've got plenty of time to get the craft materials and get all the things that are needed to produce this production of family worship.

But actually family worship can be as simple as Let's read a couple of Bible verses together and let's talk about what they mean and one of the things for me whenever you're reading Bible and talking Bible is okay so what does this mean today? You know there has to be the so what? You know what is the practical application?

What is the principle for today? Right there just that simple conversation is family worship. Family worship can happen as you're driving in the car to school with the kids. You know, whether it be through the singing of a worship song, having a prayer before the kids get out of school. , I think one of the things we need to remember is as we engage in family worship, if we're gonna take the view that it is part of our everyday ordinary sleeping, eating, going to walk, walking around life, worship can happen anywhere.

It doesn't have to just happen when I'm sitting in my house. You know, if I'm walking home from school with my kids. You know, what's to stop me from saying, look at this beautiful flower. Isn't God amazing? And having a conversation about isn't that a isn't that a moment of worship? When you are directing your children's thoughts to God and the creator and what he's done.

So I think it's about utilising the moments that we have throughout the day to point to God. And that's an act of worship. And when we sit together at the table it doesn't have to be a production. It can simply be how did you see God working today?

I really like that idea, Sylvia, of, , pointing our thoughts to God. I guess sometimes the Adventist church does surveys to see how people are tracking and you've mentioned some of the statistics that less and less people having family worship or even reading the Bible, there's concern around.

That happening in our homes. But I guess, is there a benefit to the sort of more structured, like we have it every evening or we have it for opening and closing Sabbath, as opposed to the unstructured acknowledging God like when you see a flower saying, Hey, isn't it great that God created this for us?

Or, in the everyday conversation. , I guess what I'm asking, is there a benefit to structured family worship as opposed to acknowledging God at all times in your day, which I think we should do maybe both, but is there one or the other that's more important?

Yeah,, that's a really good, some good thoughts to think , is what I would say.

I, I think there is a place in our lives for both, right? There's the organic. worship, which is what I've just mentioned. Walking down the street, sitting at the table, , having those, those conversations where we bring our children into this mindset of seeing God in the everyday. And that can happen in,, a one minute conversation, which might end up blowing out.

But you know, it's just those moments. I think the structure is where I, tap into the idea of rhythm, because the rhythm is regular, right? If our heartbeat isn't having a regular rhythm, we're kind of in trouble. There's something not right. So I think there is a place for that rhythm.

What there isn't a place for is shame when parents can't quite get the rhythm right. And so I think we, we have to work, with families where they're at. And so we invite them into small steps and I think that rhythm can be if all you can manage as a family is a prayer after dinner or before dinner or before bedtime.

Start there. Right? Start there but make it regular. , do it every night. And then as you do it every night, maybe you've only started by devoting three or four minutes, see if you can push it out. Maybe you can read a bible verse or two together and then pray. So I think that yes, there is a need for having a rhythm, something that is regular.

So finding what works for your family rather than you must do it at this time and in this style, rather. If you all sit down at the dinner table together, then use that time to, to actually have devoted, intentional God talk, not just the incidental,, we thank God for the food. But actually, finish dinner and then read a couple of Bible verses or put on a worship song and actually talk about what that song is communicating about God.

So, I think there's a place for both. Yeah,

we have looked on this show before about the importance of, I don't remember who we had, but we had someone on talking about the importance of eating together as a family and how that impacted like children's growth and maturity and development and all sorts of things.

But it wasn't so much like. The banquets and the feasts that had an impression on the children, it was just the consistency and even if it was takeout, it was still, yeah, that consistency and that ritual was the thing that I guess changed them and stuck with them. It sounds like it's the same thing with family worship, like we don't need to place pressure on ourselves to have this awesome performance, but it's the small moments, it's the everyday moments.

Yeah, well, kids aren't necessarily gonna remember the whiz bang gadgets but they will remember if mom or dad or grandparents or whoever it is sat with them every night and talked about god. Yeah. You know that they're gonna remember that intentionality and that routine and I'm not a scientist and I'm not a someone who's done heavy research in that space but I I know that kids need routine.

Little kids need routine. You know and when they're out of routine that's when you find cranky children and I've been there and it's not pleasant but when they have routine and part of that routine should be God But you as a family know your, you know your family rhythms and if mum and dad are racing off to work in the morning and there's stress and chaos then maybe all you can manage in the morning is that prayer in the car but if you're all sitting down for dinner then that's the perfect time to actually have a deeper conversation about how God is present and real and teaching our children you know the deeper truths of who God is.

you But yeah, I think kids love routine and I think we as parents, we tend to function better ourselves when we have that routine as well.

I'm just starting to see the importance and the beauty of this. , my eldest is three now and we're trying to do worship or we pray with her every night before bed.

And last night we had a God conversation when It was bedtime. We'd done some songs and a prayer earlier , in the evening. And, that was, it doesn't happen every day by any means. We try and do it, when the time is right. , but it was so cool. She asked me, where is God? And I was like, wow, big question for a three year old.

And I had to explain prayer and that we could contact God anytime. It's kind of like how we call grandma and granddad, but even though they're far away, we can talk to them on FaceTime , and she's obviously been born and raised in a pandemic, so we haven't seen much of them and, but just having those conversations at bedtime, for me, that was the highlight of my week.

Like, just to have her ask those questions. , but she's only asking those questions, I guess, because she's Been able to be exposed to God, we pray to God every day and we talk about God at different times and we haven't always been perfect in getting the rhythm right, but she's now starting to ask questions, her little brains processing, who works and how it works and, and I, I was telling her, you know, God, God's in heaven, but he's also with us, we can talk to him at any time and she goes, can we go there tomorrow?

Can we go, can we go see God? And,, I had to say, well, probably not, probably not to see him, but he's always listening, ? And, and it was a really, to me, yeah, as I said, it was the highlight of my week, just seeing that. And so, I'm now understanding as a parent, how important it is to incorporate these.

Structured times into our week where we can just sit with the kids and sing some songs and it's very unstructured. Sometimes it's highlight of your week. Sometimes it's read a Bible story from their little Bible story books that they have. It's not,, a verse or something they can't unpack, you know, even the Romans 12 verse,, they may not be at that stage at three and one, but.

They can sing the songs, they clap a lot, , they love the, they love the time that we spend as a family. So, I guess I'm seeing how important it is to start incorporating that into my family.

And you hit on something really important, which is You know family worship actually looks different in every home.

There is no one size fits all. There is no cookie cutter. This is what family worship is. But it's okay this is the age and the stage that we're at and so we choose the appropriate method that will connect with our kids but what it comes down to is that intentionality. It's that it's just that regularity and that routine and that rhythm.

Oh look at that. Three R words. So yeah I just think when I started coming to church my kids were five and three and so it was all about stories. So you know I bought the story time books and I bought stories that had values and taught them about Jesus and so every night we would just read a story before bed and then I would go in their rooms and I would just you know pray with one and pray with the other and I would ask them to think about.

You know before even this gratitude thing was a big thing. I'd be like so what are you thankful for today that God might have done and so it was nothing it wasn't you know fireworks and you know big event but it was just every night they knew we would read a story together and then we would pray together and that was something that they looked forward to and as they got older you know they didn't necessarily want the stories anymore.

They wanted to just ask questions. And so we had a season of asking questions and sometimes the questions let's be honest you know when they're teenagers sometimes the questions you don't know how to answer as a pairing you're just like whoa and you know you can kind of go let's well let's research together let's find an answer because you know I I don't know and even that in itself is you know a time of worship because you're going to go on a discovery journey together but yeah we I just want to go back to it.

I think we just need to remember not to shame parents because they're, because this family's worship doesn't look like this family's worship. Like we all have to just meet God where we're at and just encourage one another to just be intentional about making time, whatever it looks like.

Yeah, I love that.

And it's, you've just given us some really simple ways, that we can incorporate. Worship into our evenings or into our routines. I'm wondering what, , what Sylvia Mendez, Director of Women and Families Ministry, like what is, I guess to give us a little bit more of an idea, what is like an awesome worship, night in your opinion, or what is something that you love doing with your family that they get really

engaged in?

Yeah. So, I'm in a bit of a different season now because I actually have adult children and life changes again when your children become adults. So, it's a for me now family worship has become a very personal thing again. Because I can do, what I want to do and I can read what I want to read and I can listen to the music that I want to listen to, which is all very exciting, of course, after you've had to listen to, the kids music for many years.

So for me, I guess, , ultimate worship experience, I'll give you two, two examples because we talked with, I know we're talking about family worship, which to me is that very private in your home worship experience. So for me that, I actually have. A green Ikea chair which anyone who's been to Ikea like the green velvet.

I feel like you know what I'm talking about. It has the matching footstool like the wings on the side. Like it's just a really comfy green chair. And it is really my worship chair. , I take myself, I sit in my chair, I read some scripture, and I don't read a lot. I actually prefer to read a small amount and just sit with it and just think about what have I just read?

What questions does that raise for me? And just to talk to god about it without any agenda or rush or trying to accomplish something but just simple Hey I'm just having a conversation with you right now God. And you might choose to reveal something. You might not but to be unhurried and just have that time.

That to me is my favourite type of worship. , it's just I guess a stillness of just being with God present. But, I also Really love I really do love corporate worship as well. In the sense of there's nothing quite like being in a space where you look around and everyone is lifting their voice singing.

And singing praise to God and yet you look around you go I know that people have challenges and hurts and griefs and we've all got stuff going on in our lives. None of us have these amazing everything is. Rosy kind of lives, , we all have stuff and yet we can come together and all sing and praise God in music and , I absolutely love that as well.

To me that really will often fill my tank to just be able to sing with others. Knowing that, yeah, we all have stuff we're working through, but we've made it, we've made a decision to still respond to our Redeemer through, through music and song.

As we unfortunately have to wrap up soon, Sylvia, we like on Record Live to end on a practical note.

What's one thing or maybe a couple of things we can do this week to start engaging better with family worship, maybe incorporating it if we've Not for a while, perhaps we are doing it, but perhaps there's a way we could make it easier for ourselves , or more effective for our children or something like that.

Can you just give us in a nutshell, some quick tips that we can take with us into this week?

Yeah. So the first quick tip I would say is, if you're doing absolutely nothing, that's okay, but why not make a commitment to just two minutes? Every day. Even if it's just before you go to bed. If you have children, because I, when I say family worship, I don't want it to be limiting.

If you don't have children at home, that doesn't mean you can't have household worship, , wherever you at. So, if you're not doing it, then just make a commitment for two minutes. If that's all you can start with, I still think two minutes is better than zero minutes. And just pray, just talk to God and just say to God, help me be more regular in spending time with you.

So that to me is a good place to start. If you're just struggling , and feeling like you don't know what to do, then some of that comes from this pressure that it's supposed to look a certain way, and I would say just remove some of that pressure and focus on what you can do. Look at your family, look at your calendars, because if you're a mum who works full time and after school you have to race the kids to sport or music or, and then you race home and you're cooking dinner and everyone's frazzled and tired and you're thinking you have to put on this production. It will fall by the wayside. So just choose to do something simple and just buy a devotional book if need be. There's some amazing resources one of the newest ones. I don't have one on my desk. I was gonna do a bit of show and tell but devotions from the aisles is a new resource from the AUC and very short stories on well known brands in the supermarket.

Arnott's Cadbury.,, Bunnings, Cotty's, you know, all these , how these companies were started and they were often started by Christians. So, just little stories. , just a great, , if that's all you can manage as a family, read the devotional together.

The book actually has a couple of questions. You can discuss what you just read. Hey, guess what? You just have family worship. , it's easy. Start simple is what I would suggest. Yep,

do something, start simple. Hey, do you have a link to your resources for the worship project? Where can people find out more information?

Yep, if you just go to theworshipproject. org. au at the moment it's redirecting to another page because we're just finalising our lives. site, but you will find some links there to our Bible Buddies program, which is actually a daily devotional for kids. Four minutes only. Perfect for when you're driving in the car, kids to school.

So Bible Buddies, you'll find some information there on a worship box, which is a starter kit. Again, never done worship, don't know where to start, this box will help. So yes, theworshipproject. org. au will link you to everything you need to get started.

Awesome, and can I just confirm with this workshop project, is this specifically designed for families, or is this for other age groups, teenagers?

So the simple tagline is anywhere, anytime, anyone. So , it is for everyone. So we've talked a lot about family worship, but we didn't call it the family worship project. We called it the worship project because we recognize that every one of us needs to actually have a daily rhythm with God.

Awesome. Well, it is great to have you on Sylvia. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this topic and we'll hopefully have you on the show again another time.

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Thanks everyone. And we'll see you again next week.