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Join host Devin Carlson in this impactful episode of "Mending on the Fly," as he leads a profound discussion with Ashleigh Bauman about her remarkable journey through a breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic. Ashleigh candidly shares her emotional and physical struggles, the significance of self-advocacy, and how her involvement with Casting for Recovery provided her with a sense of peace and belonging. Don't miss out on Ashleigh's inspiring account of resilience, support, and the therapeutic influence of nature.
Show Notes:
Show Notes:
- 00:00 Introduction and Initial Diagnosis
- 00:47 The Irony of Cancer Awareness
- 02:01 Discovery During the Pandemic
- 02:44 Facing the Reality of Cancer
- 05:53 Understanding Cancer Stages and Risks
- 09:34 Genetic Testing and Family History
- 11:18 Support Systems and Mental Health
- 13:53 Navigating Treatment and Work
- 19:41 Life After Diagnosis
- 31:28 Casual Conversation and Humor
- 31:52 Introduction to Casting for Recovery
- 32:09 Discovering Fly Fishing
- 34:13 Challenges and Persistence
- 36:36 The Retreat Experience
- 39:37 Therapeutic Benefits of Fly Fishing
- 41:46 Support Groups and Therapy
- 44:41 Continued Involvement and Community
- 51:41 Advice and Personal Reflections
- 57:42 Concluding Thoughts and Contact Information
Creators & Guests
What is Mending on the Fly?
"Mending on the Fly" is a podcast hosted by Devin Carlson that delves into the world of fly fishing, focusing on its therapeutic and environmental aspects. Through engaging discussions, expert insights, and captivating stories from the water's edge, each episode takes listeners on a serene journey down the river to explore the profound impact of fly fishing on personal well-being and conservation. Whether you're a seasoned angler looking to perfect your craft, a newcomer navigating the complex world of fly fishing equipment, or someone passionate about safeguarding our precious waterways, this podcast is for you. It's an invitation to connect with nature, dive deep into the art of fly fishing, and contribute to the vital cause of conservation. So, grab your gear and prepare to wade into the enriching world of fly fishing with Devin. See you on the water!
Ashley, thank you for being here with me. Um, I really appreciate it. I I'd like to just jump in with you if you don't mind. Um, and ask you, um, you know, this is a, a, a tough subject, I think, but it's in a way ubiquitous. Um, breast cancer seems to affect everyone, whether it's a family member, neighbor, you know, a coworker, a friend, anything like that.
So, um, if you could just. Tell us what happened and how you, you know, learned of breast cancer and, and, uh, or, [00:02:00] or how you learned of your breast cancer and what that did to you.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah, for sure. So, um, I'm going to start with a kind of a story of irony. So there's a nonprofit in Baltimore city called CAS or I'm sorry, for, um, almond foundation, foundation supports, um, young adults and their family members who have received a cancer diagnosis. So, um, from like 40 years, adolescents and young adults.
So if it's anyone 40 years or younger, um, I had gotten nominated to be a game changer for them like 2019. And so with the game changer program, I had to raise a certain amount of money, a couple thousand dollars. And they went through this kind of professional development thing. And we learned all about cancer and how it affects young adults.
And I raised a bunch of money, made some great relationships. Visited the almond house where they will host people who are traveling to Baltimore for life saving [00:03:00] treatment. And, uh, I learned a lot and that whole entire time I had a tumor growing in my breast. Um, so it was about two months after a couple months after, um, the program came to an end. Um, COVID 19 had just. Started and, uh, it was June of that summer and my husband found a lump on my breast. We were engaged at the time we had just gotten engaged um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: surprised.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: right.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: And, uh, you know, it's the height of, of, of the pandemic. So like ancillary doctor's appointments are hard to come by. I fortunately had a, um, appointment with my OBGYN like a week later.
So I called and I was like, is there any way you can get me in a little earlier? So I
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: and my OBGYN,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: were you, were you like, sorry, were you like in kind of a panic mode? How do you deal with, uh, like medical [00:04:00] stuff like that?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: so I was in complete denial, despite having gone
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: couple months of learning all about young and adolescent, young adult cancer, despite having
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: that program, I was in total denial. I was like, yeah, it
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: to people, but it's not going to happen to me. And so I went to the appointment and my OBGYN, sure enough, was like, you're so young.
It's probably a fibrodemia cyst. Don't worry about it. But here's a slip for a mammogram, just in case it tossed that slip aside. Cause again, it's the height of the pandemic. aren't getting these appointments easily. Um, so I just tossed it aside and I was like, I'm not going to another doctor. Like people aren't doing that stuff right now. And two
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: the tumor had gotten bigger and it was like protruding out of my breast at that point. And, uh, When I finally called to go in for a mammogram and that came back inconclusive, then I started getting a little suspect, like a little pretty [00:05:00] fearful. Um, when that came back inconclusive and I had to get a biopsy done, I couldn't get, I couldn't get in for a biopsy for like two more months and single day for about three weeks, I called every clinic around Baltimore to see if there were any cancellations and.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Fortunately, I was able to get a sooner appointment for a biopsy. And within a couple of days, I was told that I had stage three, incredibly aggressive breast cancer, very aggressive.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Well, I just got goosebumps. The and so what was the, um, like prognosis at that point? I imagine it hadn't like metastasized anywhere else by that point or? Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: No, I mean, so stage three is like right before, um, what's, how do you say it?
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right. Stitch for metastatic.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, so the, the tumor, it, they suspected that it had begun [00:06:00] to grow into my lymph nodes. The tumor grew at like a 98 percent proliferation rate. So that's the growth rate. So that was like, that's how often the cells were multiplying themselves.
98 percent growth rate. Um, and so
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Incredible.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: How like devious it is.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: for sure. Yeah. I mean, it was, it was like three or four centimeters by the time, um, we got it biopsied, it was, it had grown so quickly.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: So from the moment you found it, how, like how much had it grown? If it was four Senate or four centimeters by the time.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: It had easily doubled in size.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Wow.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah, I mean, he couldn't notice it when we found it in June. And by the time I had my first chemo infusion, um, the end of October, I think, uh, early November, I was diagnosed October 8th of 2020, [00:07:00] and it had easily doubled in size in those couple of months. So it might've been stage two when my husband first
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: but all that time went by. Um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: just like, uh, how are the stages defined? Uh, is it size or is it, uh, the, the growth rate of the cancer itself?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: no, there's, so I learned a lot about all of this stuff. There, there are so many
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah, sorry, if you don't mind, I want to kind of get down the rabbit hole because I know like all like this stuff, um, like women, I think, like, when are you supposed to get your first mammogram? Like if 45 or something?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah, they recently, I think they, they lowered it to 45 or maybe even 42 or 40, they, they've
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: age. Um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: like women in their 20s and 30s. I mean, it's, this is, it's a problem. Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: is. Uh, [00:08:00] one in eight women will receive a breast cancer diagnosis in their lifetime. Um, and the population of adolescent and young adult, whether it's breast cancer or another kind of cancer, um, those rates are increasing year over year. And, uh, you know, whether it's stress or environmental triggers, we all have, we all have cancer cells in our body. But however they're triggered to begin multiplying and begin growing, um, it's everybody is different. Every person is different. So every tumor is different. And so how it's staged, uh, really depends on its growth path. So if it's made it into your lymph nodes, lymph nodes is how it will spread throughout your body. Um, so if it's made it into your lymph nodes, that's when it's pretty much deemed to be a metastatic tumor. Um, and I guess right [00:09:00] before then it's, it's stage three. If it's gotten that big, it can depend on the size. Um, it can depend on, uh, the location and it's access to lymph nodes. there's also for breast cancer specifically. A lot of the tumors are responsive to hormones in the body, so it might be estrogen receptor positive, progesterone receptor positive, HER2, which is, uh, I don't know much about HER2 because it wasn't applicable to my situation, but that's another of breast cancer, and then triple negative means it's not responsive to hormones. Um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And so, I mean, there, there's a lot of internal chemicals.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: But then there's also, um, and I don't know if this is, I do not want to like spread misinformation or anything like that, but I, I, and I don't have this study in front of me. Um, are there [00:10:00] any concerns with folks that have been on like different thyroid treatments, you know, for like fertility and all that sort of stuff?
I, I, um, I wish I could recall the,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah, I mean, I
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: the type of thing.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: you're
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: study, but
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: for sure. I think anytime we mess with the hormones with in our body, um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: yeah,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: know, there's,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I just change the stuff up.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: everything. And, and again, every body is different. So when you, um, suppress your hormones, um, or change your hormones, whether it's through birth control or another avenue, or even just. triggers in our food that can affect hormones. Um, those can all be causes or, or reasons to be of concern. And then there's also, um, genetic predispositions. So the BRCA gene is, uh, a gene that's more prevalent in Ashkenazi Jew heritage. but if, [00:11:00] if, I had genetic testing done. I had no genetic predisposition to this beast, but there are a couple different markers that if you genetic testing done and it comes back with those markers, you're at a much higher, um, predisposition to cancer.
Yeah,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: someone out there listening, man, woman, doesn't matter, you know, um, cause we, we, like I said, we can all be affected by breast cancer. Um, like this genetic testing, for instance, is that something that you can do? You know, you can ask your doctor to run these tests or is it not until you find a lump and you're, you know, already worried,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: that, that's a great question. I would say for any female that, um, has a, a family history. [00:12:00] breast cancer. That's a, that's a huge red flag. And, uh, once you present that information to your OBGYN, um, they would know what to do with it and, and recommend for genetic testing. Um, when I had the genetic testing done, it was after I had already been diagnosed, but they were curious given my age, like, guess that's kind of a natural course of action.
Is it genetic or was this from other,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: right? Who knows?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: reason? And,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: in the water.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Exactly. Who
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's like, who knows?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Who knows? Yeah. Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: So how did your family. Kind of handle the diagnosis and, and actually like, how did you handle it? How were you doing during it? And, and I know it's been a long road. It probably still is,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: For
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: you know, you're always kind of on this path to recovery, uh, being a [00:13:00] survivor.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to back that question up a little bit and
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: very beginning of being diagnosed for a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: um, who is about to have the kitchen sink of treatments. at them. Um, I had to make a lot of quick decisions. Um, I was a sales manager, so I was really involved with my team.
I had to figure out, you know, could I work through treatment? Um, in addition to that, I have not had any Children of my own, so I had to make a lot of decisions. Um, whether or
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Mm.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: to freeze my eggs, how I wanted to approach that. so you have, you just have so many big life changing decisions are thrown at you within, and you have to make these decisions in a couple of weeks. I mean, for me, I was, I was about to get, my menstruation was about to start and they're like, your tumor is so aggressive. So if we can't get any eggs this time, and I'm going into a lot of detail, but then we have to
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: No.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: [00:14:00] month and go through it again. And it's like. my tumor could grow even more at that. So I had to make a quick decision to, uh, to just move forward without, um, uh, attempting any, um, freezing my eggs or doing anything like that. so that was
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I mean, that was, that was just heartbreaking. And, uh, then it's the height of COVID. So I'm going to all these doctor's appointments. myself. Um, I would conference my, my fiance at the time. We're now married in, uh, so he could hear the doctors speak, but a lot of these things, a lot of this information is just being thrown at me and I'm in a state of shock trying to process it. uh, I, I went on autopilot. I really did. I just, it was, I started chemo with 30 days after I received the call saying it was in fact, breast cancer.
I had to get a port [00:15:00] placed on my, in my chest for the chemo infusions,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Mm hmm.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: the decision around fertility. it was, it was a lot. And so as time went on, I continued to work through treatment. I had to have chemo first. Okay. Because my tumor was so big, A lot of times they'll start with surgery and then do chemo or radiation.
It again, it's really dependent upon the person, the situation, and the tumor. so I started with chemo. I had six months of, uh, a CT chemo, which a CT, um, a stands for Adriamycin Cytotoxin, which is called the Red Devil. That's one
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Mm hmm.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: that you lose your hair with. A lot of neuropathy into play. so as I'm going through all of this alone, I'm losing my hair, losing my thing, my, um, eyelashes and losing my eyebrows. Um, [00:16:00] I. very isolating. It was very lonely and it was just very very scary.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: And it was
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah. Well, I
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: the people to connect to about what I was going through because we were all in isolation.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: mean, it sounds, honestly, it sounds brutal. Um, like my dad died of colon cancer, but I was able to go, you know, during chemo and, um, you know, he's, you know, you're in the chair and whatever, you're watching a little TV, but just hanging out together, talking or whatever, just taking a nap together. Having to do all that on your own is brutal.
And, uh, I'll just say that you are like an absolute warrior for going through with all that. Um, and, uh, you know, the, the many other women that do too.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Um, you know, [00:17:00] it's just incredible. How were you, um, like, if you don't mind me asking, like mental health wise, because it is beyond just the overwhelming.
nature of like all of the decisions that you have to make. Um, and kind of all these external factors. How are you actually dealing with processing this situation that you're in and, uh, the potential of it,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. Great question. So I, um, despite the aggressiveness of my tumor, I recall never, uh, Being afraid that I was, that this was going to be what took me out in the end. I, I was not afraid of, of. Dying. I was incredibly fearful of the next day, the side effects that I [00:18:00] was, um, I was taking on mentally by the end of my treatment, I was a train wreck. in fact, they canceled my last two chemo infusions because they had deemed that, uh, the chemo had really gone to my brain. Uh, and I just, I was. I was not in a good way. I was severely depressed. I, um, was having a lot of angry outbursts, whether it was the steroids mixed in with all the other chemicals that are going into my body. Or just the overall isolation. And while I might not admit that I was afraid of dying, I'm sure that there was an underlying fear of what's next in terms of, is this it? Um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: right? There's gotta be,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: gotta be,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: um, yeah, sorry, go ahead.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So the, the, the process itself [00:19:00] was, it was absolutely grueling. I had gone into warrior mode just to get through. They did cancel the last two. And, uh, that was in February after I was diagnosed, I then had, I then finally went on leave from work and I had a double mastectomy a couple of months later, I, uh, I then went through six weeks of radiation every single day. And, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And so the radiation is to kind of eliminate any potential remaining cells or, or what is that for?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: you got it. Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. So chemo had essentially killed the tumor. Um, and then surgery removes the tumor, but as, as wonderful as the doctors that I, um, I was seeing are, they can't guarantee that they've gotten every tumor. So radiation then, uh, then kills [00:20:00] any, any tissues that might have this cancer cells line await.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah, what is the, and if you, this is a, this is a horrible question, but we're kind of like going, we're talking about sensitive stuff, but age, just so that, you know, people can hear how old were you when you were diagnosed with breast cancer?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: was 37.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: 37. Okay. And family history or
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, not really there. There is a lot of breast cancer on my paternal side of the family, but they've, they inherited the BRCA gene from my uncle who was, I'm not related to. while there is a lot of prevalence of breast cancer on my paternal side, it's not hereditary.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: genetic.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay. Yeah. I think [00:21:00] this is like an important time too, for me just to mention, um, again, colon cancer, but The importance of like advocating for yourself with medical professionals. Um, You know, because my dad died younger than we expected, certainly, um, you know, had got colon cancer. I think late forties or early fifties when he was first diagnosed.
Um, and so, you know, I had a colonoscopy. two years ago when I was 38, which is well before, you know, when you're supposed to, um, and they found polyps and remove them. And now they want me coming back every couple of years. But for anyone out there, you know, that especially that has a family history of a certain type of cancer, I think it's super, super important to advocate for yourself with, um, with the, the medical professionals.
And I will say the colonoscopy [00:22:00] thing was, was actually kind of wonderful. Um, it's like a great nap for a little bit. You, you definitely clear out the day before, you know, you hit up Chick fil A right afterwards and, and like, it's all good.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: so for any, anyone that's listening, go talk to your doctor about
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Be proactive.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. Just be
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: it's hard though. It's so hard talking to your doctors for whatever reason.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. Yeah. And, um, You know, I, I was fortunate that I had a very good relationship specifically with my, um, my breast surgeon. you have a, um, uh, your chemo oncologist, um, a surgical oncologist, your radiation oncologist, and then your breast surgery, if you choose to have breast augmentation after surgery. So there's a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: [00:23:00] Yeah,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: in the mix and, um, Again, I felt very fortunate to find the right ones for, for my needs and for my personality, frankly, because that's what a lot of it comes down to. You have to be comfortable to ask the right questions. You have to be comfortable to ask those pointed questions and to advocate for yourself.
I think a perfect, example or reasoning for that is, is the delay in my diagnosis. Um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: this in the scheduling. Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: if I wouldn't have, if I wouldn't have, if I would have been more proactive in following up on that mammogram slip, maybe we would have caught the tumor at stage two, rather than stage three and then pushing to, to get that biopsy sooner than later. You have to be your own advocate.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: So what I mean, the whole thing is just a an incredible [00:24:00] battle
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: What did your husband family friends do that helped? What did they do that didn't help and what would you recommend people do? On the outside for those in the mix
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: through it.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. So, I, I, I did have an outpouring of support. That was tremendously helpful and hopeful as I was going through treatment. Um, people I went to high school with sending me cards. Um, I would get gift cards in the mail for dinner delivery. Um, I got, I got quite a few care baskets and a lot of flowers and just a lot of cards, uh, [00:25:00] offering support messages. That people would send, um, acknowledging what I was going through and how brave I was. messages of acknowledgement meant so much to me. Uh, especially again, cause we were all in isolation, um, during of 2020
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: and the fall for parts of the fall of 2020. Um, but there's just simple messages of support.
Oh, acknowledgement. Of the battle that, uh, somebody is going through upon diagnosis. Cause it's, it's scary. No matter whether it's stage one, two, three, your world is about to change and be thrown, everything's just thrown at you. Completely flipped upside down on you, making decisions at work, whether or not I was going to keep working.
If my work would accept, [00:26:00] um, the way that I chose to take leave for chemo infusions and radiation, et cetera.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah. How, how did they handle that
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, I was
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: for the employers out there?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah, I was at the same company for 13 years. upon my diagnosis. So I stayed with them through most of my treatment and they were incredibly supportive of me. It's a local family owned company. And again, I've been there for 13 years, so I had quite a history with them. Um, I did towards the end of my treatment once, started bringing people back in from remote work.
And again, I was a sales manager, so it's kind of important to have that FaceTime with my team members, but I couldn't,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: an oncology payment patient in the middle of COVID, that's, [00:27:00] it's like,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I couldn't put a seatbelt on during radiation, um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: uh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I was fried from my chin all the way, halfway down through my belly and all the way, so I couldn't put a seatbelt on, but they still wanted me to come to work. I can't. I felt like I physically can't. I ended up parting ways with them a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: little bit later in 2021. And, uh, fortunately I had a really great career and I was able to, to save a lot of money during that time. So I took a sabbatical for a while. I actually moved to Florida for about a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Did you really,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I did. I did. Um, well, and let me back up. So. I ended up with congestive heart failure in 2021,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh Jesus,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: are like a medical miracle.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: so [00:28:00] in 2021, it was when that, the Omicron variant variant was going around, I caught it at Christmas and COVID turned into pneumonia and pneumonia turned into congestive heart failure.
And so I was in the hospital again for another week and, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: my God.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: at that point, like in remission, do they think it had anything to do with the fact that you had just gone through all this chemo and
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: sure. Yeah. So some of the,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: yeah. Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: few of the, the Adriamycin is known to weaken your heart and then with the stress. And, and then, so I think it's like, they point at COVID, they point at chemo. It, you know, I think it was literally just the perfect storm of, I had a weakened immune system. My heart was probably, it was definitely not at its, at its strongest. And then I got COVID and
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And you're moving and you're getting married and
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: It was just a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: just life is [00:29:00] happening.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So I moved after the congestive heart failure. That's when I just like
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay. Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I need some salt water and some sand. Like
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: just ready for a break. So I, uh, I lived there for about a year and, uh, loved it.
And my husband and I eloped and, uh, he brought me back to Maryland. Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I love that.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I love that.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Um, what'd your family think about the elopement? I know, um, my wife and I, we've been married, uh, oh boy, it'll be 15 years this December, but, um, We eloped when I was in the Marines back in 2009. We were both real young and, uh, you know, to be honest, it didn't go that well at the time
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Mm hmm.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: the family.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: You know, uh,[00:30:00]
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I wouldn't recommend not telling anyone. But you do what you gotta do.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: that kind of parlays into another question. You had asked. Um, my family and I were kind of on the a little separated by this time. Um, I was surprised at their reactions. To how I was responding to treatment. So again, I was, I was not in a good way. I was severely depressed and I was really surprised at how my family responded to my need for help. And so by the, by the time I moved, I had, uh, I had actually told both my parents that I needed to a break from them and I ceased communication with my parents. So when I eloped, it was. My husband and I eloped. Uh, we didn't really have family to
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Doesn't have to worry about that.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah,[00:31:00]
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay. Oh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: different story, but they were all very supportive.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: yeah. And, and going back to him, how did he handle the diagnosis? Like as a, as a husband, as a dad, it, it was Like, I think it's important for me, at least, and anyone out there that's interested to hear, you know, the good and the bad, and it's like, we can really add stress to this or we can,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: 100%. And we
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: or help reduce it,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: all, all sides of, of that. Um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: you know,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: when he would pick me up from my chemo infusions and he would start talking about like what he did for lunch and, uh, whatever else going on, like as a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: such a guy.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: like trying to like hold it together. And, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: just, you know,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Well, he sounds, he sounds great. You know,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: is, he, he [00:32:00] is a
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I gotta be honest.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: but he, like, I mean, he, it's so hard to know how to relate to somebody after like, they just
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's impossible.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: with drugs for a couple hours and then come out and it's like, ah, I don't
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's impossible.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, but he, what he was, he is my, um, he, was as steadfast as can be by my side. He was my biggest advocate and a lot of relationships don't make it through. That's something like this. And, and we were simply engaged at that point, because simply isn't the right word, but we were engaged, we weren't even married he, uh, he was my, he was my number one supporter.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's awesome.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: He's a great
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's good. Just, just be in there.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: for sure.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Tell her about your lunch, but just be there, you know,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: tell her how great Chick fil A was or whatever. But.[00:33:00]
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: sit there in silence. Like that's really
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right. Also.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Just.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right. Just shut up too. Sometimes. Yeah. So casting for recovery. How, how did you, so you'd been volunteering for this other organization. Um.
Obviously familiar with cancer a little bit. And then you get cancer where, where does casting for recovery come along?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So when I was, when I was going through treatment, I researched a lot of different nonprofits and, um, how they can support and help women who have gone through breast cancer or just young adults who have gone through cancer. Um, and I don't remember how I found casting for recovery, but I thought, you What a cool I mean, they provide a weekend away other women who have gone through [00:34:00] a similar journey and we get to learn the art and the sport of fly fishing and be on the water and how cool like that. It was, it was just. It really stood out to me as a, as a really great experience. So I, um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And had you fly fished or fished before at all? Did you have any interest in it?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: uh, interested in it. I've never fly fish. I did not know anything about fly fishing, but I grew up on the water. I grew up in Annapolis. So I've, I've fished
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: but fly fishing, I, absolutely nothing about, but I love being on the water. So, uh, I think that was like the thing that really stood out to me is like, wow, an experience where they're going to get us out on the water.
Cool. I'm all in. Let's, let's see what this is about. So, um, I, they're nationwide and they have retreats in, um, a couple of all, all, all the, I would say all 50 States. I [00:35:00] don't know if that's a fact or not, but you register
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I think they're getting close. I, I interviewed and you know, for, um, I interviewed Susan Gates on my first episode,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: um, for this. So that was a lot of fun talking to her about it too, but I know, I don't know if they're in all 50. I think they're trying to expand in North Dakota this year. Get back their UK program.
And then they're also in New Zealand and Australia, I believe.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. Yeah. So when I've registered for one of the retreats, it's a, basically a lottery draw. So, uh, if you sign up for retreat, you can, or you may or may not get picked to attend that year. I got picked and right before the retreat is when I ended up in the hospital with congestive heart failure. So I had to call and [00:36:00] cancel, um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Hmm.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: uh, being able to attend that year's trip. And I'm like, all right, well, um, try again next year. So the next year. signed up again. I got selected and this, this time I was in Florida already. I was like, Oh, shoot. Well, I came to Florida for a, for a mental vacation, so can't go again. And the third year Sylvia, who was the coordinator I worked with each time, um, the third year I got selected again, and she is like, Ashley, Can you go this year?
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right. Get your shit together.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: right. Because like you, you have to submit like all your historical data about your cancer diagnosis. You have to get your doctors to sign off. So I had gone through those steps two years in a row and then canceled.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: right, right.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: third time's a [00:37:00] charm. I, uh, I made it.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: That's awesome. And then that was for a Virginia retreat or a Maryland retreat.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: was in Sharpsburg, Maryland. At, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: cool.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: spring. So we,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: we did our, the day of fly fishing on a devil's backbone. I think it's called
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: in, uh, in Western Maryland somewhere.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah. Beautiful.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah, it was really
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And so what, what obviously the, the application process is like, um, It's not, I mean, it, I guess it's a little bit intense, but, you know, they're also vetting people and, and all that. So, um, uh, and people can learn about the application process through the casting for recovery website, but.
What was the weekend like for you?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So [00:38:00] we arrive Friday, Friday evening, afternoon, I guess. Um, and that evening we do an introduction, some icebreakers to kind of get to know the other women that are there. I think there were about maybe 15 us this retreat. And. From all walks of life, uh, may have been the youngest there, all walks of life, all different, stories and histories with, with the disease. Uh, some had been in remission for many, many years. uh, had just gone through their treatment within the past year or two. So we do an introduction and getting to know fly fishing that first night. And then the next day, uh, they. They suit us up in all the gear. We go out on the lawn in front of the retreat center and we practice fly fishing. [00:39:00] Um, throughout the day they'll have different workshops or breakout groups where we can learn. fly tying. We'll do
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Cool.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: breakouts on understanding and learning what fish eat. and so more demonstration and then casting practice is kind of spread out throughout that first day and then
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So that's all day Saturday. And then Sunday we actually get matched up with a guide. And they take us out and we go fly fishing. uh, that's when we went to, I guess, devil's backbone, uh, that Sunday. And the guy that I was paired with, his name was Mitch. He was, so cool. He had just gotten back from a huge trip and, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Of course.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah, yeah, he, and he was just, he was awesome.
I caught three trout that day and, uh, it was supposed to be catch and [00:40:00] release. They, they, they let me bring a one or two home. I think, um, I was the only person that caught fish that day. Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh, you had the honey hole. Nice.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So Mitch was, he was a fantastic guide. He, he really solidified the experience for me uh, and just bringing it all together and showing me good looks like with this sport.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: What, um, so you're, you were, I guess, three years out from your treatment, the surgery,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: all of that. I know that women go, I mean, there's the surgery is, is like invasive. Um, I mean, there's like muscle and tissue and tendon and all that stuff. Um, did you notice any sort of physical or [00:41:00] mental, not changes right away, but, um, like benefits while you were out on the water just that first day?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. So for me specifically, again, kind of being on the water. is one of the most experiences. Um, yeah. And then, and then just the, rhythmic motion of fly fishing. Is really beneficial after going through surgery and then, um, potentially as well, where it tightens the muscle fibers and the tissue around, um, your breast encasement. So, uh, fly fishing really helps increase mobility, um, or yeah, it would help increase mobility. So it was. It was a nice rhythmic motion to get into and then just lose yourself as you're, uh, As you're
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah, just on [00:42:00] the water.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I know. I, I, I say it just about every episode, but I rarely catch fish, but just being out on the water is what does it for me. It could be playing tennis out on the water. It'd be fine. You know?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: right. It's so peaceful just listening to to the running water and then hearing a fish jump Uh, and then you would hear the the the screams and the cackles from other women and if they got a bite Yeah
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: so I know that there are sessions led by professionals during that weekend as well. Um, and I imagine yours was the same, um, like, I don't know if it's kind of like group therapy, talk therapy kind of thing. How were those and had you already been exposed to, um, like therapy in general, uh, and, and how did that experience with CFR?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.[00:43:00]
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Impact you. It's tough.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: question. Um, I did, I was involved in support groups through treatment, um, through some other, uh, local nonprofits here in Baltimore. Um, so support groups and, and my own therapy been a part of my, um, my treatment all along. again, it was COVID so it was all virtual and this was an opportunity to really sit across from these other women and hear their stories and, it put into perspective while I, the treatment that I went through was incredibly and Scary and cumbersome and all the different changes that you're going through mind, body, and spirit.
I would hear their stories [00:44:00] the, uh, what would happen to them after surgery, if they needed to have another surgery because of, um, something collapsing within their, their rib cage or. The surgery not as successful. They got an infection afterwards. Just hearing all these different war stories really puts it into perspective that, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: community surrounding, uh, and supporting who have been through this kind of lived experience.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: How, uh, and, and have you continued that at all? Um, any like support group stuff, kind of taking that experience with CFR and moving forward with it.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. So I've I've I'm more involved in one on one therapy now, but
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I felt really inspired given the experience I had at CFR with that, those therapy groups and the [00:45:00] bonding of sisterhood bonding, incited me to get involved with casting for recovery. I want to help and encourage other women uh, to have the same experience and to
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: be open to, uh, other people's stories and share being vulnerable and sharing, sharing what you've been through and hearing what others have gone through is so important.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: That's awesome. Then. So I know I met you sitting behind the CFR booth in Maryland,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: um, which is great. Uh, I'm so glad that they have people out there who have lived the experience and can, you know, speak about it and are willing to.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: So I think that's, you know, cause not everybody is and never, but not everybody needs to, but it really helps I think for folks to be as open as you are about it.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. I'm an open book when it, when it, [00:46:00] when it comes to that whole experience, but you know, I think another thing worth, worth noting with casting for recovery is the followup after the fact. So we have this great weekend where we learn fly fishing. We got to actually go fly fishing. And at the end, You know, we turn in all of our gear and we all hug each other and leave.
And a lot of us, a lot of us women have stayed in touch afterwards. we actually have a, uh, like a Facebook messenger group where we, communicate.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Cool.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: this, uh, podcast with them there. And, um, but after the fact the followup with casting for recovery and like, I guess or associated nonprofits. Has been amazing. So we get a one year free membership to, um, the women's, uh, what is it? Women, Chesapeake women anglers. And I have gotten, uh, waiters donated to me. I've [00:47:00] gotten. Boots donated to me. I have a fly rod that was donated to me
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Cool.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: these sister nonprofits affiliated with Casting for Recovery.
And I was only made aware of them through Casting for Recovery. So it's not only like you have this great experience. It's, it's really an effort to ingratiate and involve women and provide a larger community into the world of fly fishing
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: way.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: I mean, the, the concept is awesome. I love that there are so many fly fishing organizations out there cause it can be breast cancer. Uh, you know, there's kind of the equivalent men's group. I'm like blanking on the name. Um, but there's a cancer
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: men. Um, you know, uh, project healing waters for vets
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: project may fly, you know, [00:48:00] all this stuff.
There's so, I mean, there's, there's, uh, programs out there for, for people in like addiction recovery. Um, it's like the sport and the being on the water can just, man, it can like just heal.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's like, you just got to get out and do it. What would you say for women who have absolutely zero interest in fish or fishing?
Um, how could CFR or a similar organization be beneficial to them,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: uh, either during or after an experience? Like breast cancer.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. So, I mean, I would say of the women on the panel, On that retreat, probably won't go fly fishing again. Um, you know,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Okay.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: a couple of us like really gravitated to the sport and, uh, are following through. Um, but many of the women, for whatever [00:49:00] reason, it just, maybe it didn't resonate with them, um, or if for whatever reason, they just may not.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: It's a commitment too. I mean, fly fishing is a commitment. Like you have to have time and you know, it's like,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: all, all age ranges that, um, were in attendance at this weekend retreat.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: sure.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, so, and now I'm blanking on your question, bring it back to me again.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Uh, Oh, Oh, what would you say to women who are like, have zero interest in fly fishing or fish in general, and
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: It's
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: would it, would it still be?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: is 100%, 100%. Yes. Because it's, is the overall experience and the sisterhood and the camaraderie that you really gain from that retreat. It's an intimate environment and you're with these, these women for 48, 72 hours and. You really get to know them. So it's [00:50:00] not only just the aspect of fly fishing, but you really get to bond with other women who have had the same lived experience.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Well, and I think there's also a lot of value in just having to go do something like this as a group with a bunch of anonymous people. You don't know.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yep.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Uh, and you're kind of thrown into it. I remember Susan saying, like, you don't have to go to these. Talk therapy type things. If you don't want to, you don't have to say anything.
No one's, you know, staring you down. Um, so it doesn't, you know, need to be intimidating or anything like that. Um, and, uh, yeah, so I think it's just really important. So how, how has your fly fishing been since?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: So I haven't made it out on the water. I've practiced in my backyard. we
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Good for you.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: we actually just got my, um, fly rod strung. Is [00:51:00] that the right way to say it? Uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Uh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: like,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh, like the real you, you, you, um, yeah,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. So my
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: whatever it's called.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah, the strong.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: just take it to the fly shop. They whip it up. You know what I mean? I don't know.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: My husband did it for me. So, um,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: so I've
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: God. He's just sounded better and better. Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: he's, he's, he's fantastic.
But, uh, my birthday was in April and I actually told him, I was like, the, what I want for my birthday is I want to go fly fishing with you. So here we are at the end of May, almost June, and it hasn't happened yet. Bye.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Summer, summer is upon us. You know, the fish are always hungry.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. And I've heard cicadas are like a crate to use
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: bait. So I'm also excited
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: yes.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: finally emerge around
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yes. I, I interviewed Dave Zielinski. He wrote [00:52:00] Cicada Madness. I, I talked to him like two months ago and um, I think he's down in South, he's from Pennsylvania, but he's down in South Carolina now chasing the, the brood emergences. Um, cause it's like these two broods haven't, Co emerged since Jefferson was president, you know, in like 1803 or 1804.
Uh, so kind of a cool thing, but you got to get out to like South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, thinking that up in Illinois.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: planning a trip to Kentucky,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh, are you really?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah, yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: We were, we
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: bring, bring some cicadas. Definitely.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Cave and then maybe do some, uh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Oh, cool.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: But yeah, I plan on parlaying, uh, a fly fishing excursion in there as well.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah, I think you have to. I think you have to. Um, [00:53:00] so here on casting for recovery, we end with the whip finish. Um, what advice would you have for a woman who is concerned about breast cancer or someone who is worried about breast cancer? Found maybe something small, but you know, it's just kind of like, ah, it's just this thing, you know What what would be your advice to women out there who may be headed down that path?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, I actually just dealt with this with a good girlfriend of mine, um, in the past two weeks, who, uh, was going through a scare of her own and, um, my advice to her was to first of all, stop [00:54:00] Googling,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah, get off a web. I get a cough and it's like that's not helpful.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: I mean, it, and, and, and I think the, the biggest stressor in the moment for Waiting for the results of the test. And, you know,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: her, she's looked at her images. And so she's Googling like white spots and I'm like, just, just stop. Like the, the, the doctors will get back to you as soon as possible. Like within 24 hours, especially if there's something to be. Alarmed about. So breathe, breathe, stay off Google. And, uh, if you are concerned about something or you notice something, don't wait, just don't
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: uh, what happened to me could happen to anyone,[00:55:00]
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: right And it's like who know, I mean
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: right?
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: not to be dark, but it's like a few more months. It's like you just never know
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: caught it. Sooner or knew what we were working with sooner. Again, maybe I wouldn't have had the kitchen sink of treatments thrown at me. Uh, and maybe
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah, I mean
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: gone through heart failure because whatever other reasons due to my treatment. So just
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Yeah,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: be your, be your own advocate and get things checked out.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: um, and sorry before we before we end I do want to ask because I know you mentioned the depression
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And I'm sure a lot of anxieties in there, too
What do you think? Like I mean obviously Going through this is like As depressing as it can be, but what was it that was like really [00:56:00] triggering the depression, if you don't mind me asking, and, and like, I'm sure therapy helped to some degree, you know, if, if there was medication involved to that probably helped,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: but how did you manage it?
And where did it come from? Do you think?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: In the moment. I had, I had a really hard time, um, adjusting to the physical changes that my body was going through so quickly. you know, within two months of diagnosis, I was pretty much bald. Um, I had a port placed in my chest. I would get this pack, uh, of, of stem cells inserted in, in my abdomen after every treatment.
So I would come home like just beat up with
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Right?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: [00:57:00] everywhere. And, and, and, and then I'm, I'm bald and I'm, I'm getting very skinny. And, uh, the physical changes. were a lot for me to, uh, to see and to experience.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Mm hmm. Mm
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: and I think that that triggered a lot of my anxiety and my fear. Uh, know, you, you just don't know who you're going to be once. This is all said and done. and, uh, going through therapy, I've also come to realize that deep down inside, of course, I was afraid of dying,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: hmm.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: fear of, of, um, Resurgence too. Um, so as it is now, like you're supposed to be on medication [00:58:00] for, um, up to about 10 years after, uh, you've beat cancer. So I'm supposed to be on hormone suppressants for, my case for 10 years.
I've decided not to, not to take them, for my own personal reasons, but is. The way of doing things.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Kind of the standard route.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: yeah. so I've, I've, through my own therapy, I've come to face the fear that I really was experiencing during that time.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Well, it's like we all, like, know that death at some point is coming, but when something like that happens, um, I mean, there's no preparing for how that makes you feel.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: no, not at all.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: So, um, yeah, very interesting. Very interesting. If [00:59:00] people want to get a hold of you, um, or just follow you on social media, cause your, your Instagram page is great.
And I really enjoyed kind of, I wasn't trying to stalk you. I was preparing for the interview, but, um, yeah. Seeing, you know, it's like your story told in pictures. Um, and it's just like a fascinating journey. And I really appreciate you sharing the pictures that you did share the bald, like teeny tiny lot of weight loss, you know, like scary kind of weight loss.
Um, and I think it's so helpful to see, uh, and so really appreciate you, um, sharing it, you know,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah. I'm real and raw as can be. And I'm. More than happy and willing to talk to anyone about. Their experience, their [01:00:00] fears, my story. Um, I think it's really important.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: So how, how can people get a whole, where, where can they find you on Instagram?
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Um, my name, just Ashley Bauman. So my first name is spelled a little different. It's A S H L E I H. And my last name is Bauman, B A U M A N. So it's Ashley underscore Bauman is my, um, Instagram
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: Awesome. And I will include that in, in the, um, link in the podcast. And we'll also tag you in all the pictures and stuff like that. So people can, people can find you. But again, I just want to say thank you for being Um, with me and, and anyone out there listening, uh, I, I truly just, uh, can't say how helpful I think it is, [01:01:00] um, to hear these stories and to, to have it kind of, you know, uh, leave orbit and come back down to earth.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Yeah.
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: And, and, and make it like tangible. And, um, so I really appreciate it. And
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: Oh,
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: for the listeners out there, Ashley, um, dealt with me through, uh, like several schedule changes and cancellations. And I mean, my brain is, you know, not a good one, apparently should have it checked,
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: be so
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: but, um. But, um, I, I really appreciate your patience, uh, in, in lining this up.
I'm so thankful to have met you, uh, at the Maryland show, the Towson show. And um, I hope we share the river one day. I
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: you got
devin_1_05-28-2024_183952: think it would be awesome. Cool. Well, thank you so much for sharing your, your journey and [01:02:00] so many details about your, your battle with breast cancer. I really appreciate it, Ashley. Thank you.
squadcaster-ihc5_1_05-28-2024_183951: you for having me.