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Manhood often feels like navigating through uncharted territory, but you don't have to walk alone. Join us as we guide a conversation about how to live intentionally so that we can join God in reclaiming the masculine restorative presence he designed us to live out. Laugh, cry, and wonder with us as we explore the ins and outs of manhood together.
Cody Buriff
Jesse, welcome to the Restorative Man podcast. Good to see you. I have a question for you right out of the gate. you know, this is quiz time, do you know what the eighth plague was with the Israelites and Egypt and Moses and that whole thing? Do remember?
Jesse French (00:03)
Hi Cody. Good to see you.
Yes, this is like standard knowledge. Everyone knows that the eighth plague was the plague of locusts.
Cody Buriff
Yes.
Great. Good job, Jesse. didn't know that.
Jesse French
the thing, full confession, if we wouldn't have like had a little bit of conversation around this before we hit record, I would have given you a very blank stare and said, I have no idea what the A-flag is. yeah. ⁓
Cody Buriff
Totally there. I remember this.
Yeah, yeah, I just, I don't remember what order stuff was in. I know what the last one was. Anyway, I got some crazy facts about Locus for you. Okay? And we're going somewhere. This is not just like a bug fog test, like we're going somewhere. But here's some crazy Locus facts. right. Did you know that a square kilometer of Locus
Jesse French
Yeah, fire away,
Cody Buriff
can eat 20 metric tons of food in a day.
Jesse French
Okay, square kilometer. Yes. That's a big area. What also is big is 20 metric tons. Good night. That's a lot of food.
Cody Buriff
That's a lot of food. And these things swarm in the billions. So the biggest swarms in the United States that we've ever had is the Rocky Mountain Locust, which by the way is extinct now. And we don't actually know why or how they became extinct, but they did, back almost 100 years ago.
But in the 18, I think it was 1875, there was a swarm of Rocky Mountain locusts that descended upon the Midwest and it was 190,000 square miles. Bigger than the state of California. All right. That's that eating that much food every single day of the swarm or whatever. Like, okay.
Jesse French
No way. What?
Whoa.
Cody Buriff
But that wasn't the biggest.
Jesse French
Okay, I wanna make a Midwest joke right now, cause you're from the Midwest and I'm from Colorado. But I'm gonna refrain from that. So, continue on, continue on. Lots of.
Cody Buriff
The year before 1874 the swarm was 2 million square miles. Good. What? That's insane. That's a lot of bugs. Yes, I can't fathom. There were reports, there's like recorded reports of people saying the locust swarm would black out the sun for like six straight hours.
Jesse French
this, right?
Yeah. In my mind, I was like, is this just, I mean, I have no way to fathom it, but I was thinking like cloud like proportions, right? That just completely obliterating and covering all of the sky.
Cody Buriff
Right, isn't it? It's like, I can't fathom personally. And so even though they're extinct, like, or you know, here, like that does not mean that we're like, totally out of the woods. Back in the 80s, there was this huge swarm that traveled from Africa to the Caribbean. Across the atlas. Yeah. So all that to say, locusts are nuts. They're these like, crazy cannibalistic eat everything in sight.
crazy bugs that destroy farms, destroy economies, they eat everything. Yeah. So they're no joke.
Jesse French
And what you're also saying is they are not just some sort of almost like mythical biblical creature like no very very real reality in today's world
Cody Buriff
They exist right now today. Okay. Okay. Here's, here's maybe in my mind, the craziest thing about them. All right. Do you know what the difference is between a locus and a grasshopper?
Jesse French
No idea.
Cody Buriff
What if I told you they have the exact same DNA? Like, identical DNA. What? Yeah. Stupid. So, here's what happens. Here's the crazy thing. They're the same creature. Literally the same exact creature. But like, you have grasshoppers, and now not- this doesn't happen to all grasshoppers, but like, you got the grasshopper, and everybody knows what a grasshopper is, like, it's this like, solitary, kind of chill, green, like, whatever.
They're not a problem. They're great fishing bait, right? Kids like to catch them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But here's what happens. You get into this area where they've gotten a ton of rainfall and everything's super lush and there's an abundance of food and vegetation. And so the grasshoppers go nuts and they lay just like zillions of eggs. Okay. And then the rains dry up and the vegetation dies back. But you have all of these little baby grasshoppers, these nymphs or whatever they are.
and they're all compressed into this small area with limited vegetation and bumping up against each other and stuff and they change. So what happens is the serotonin levels in their bodies changes and they've replicated this in a lab. It takes like three hours. They change color, like physically, they change color, their legs get shorter, their wings get shorter.
and they turn into this crazy swarm where normally they're kind of more solitary they like swarm together and like and then eat way more than they normally would. It's nuts.
Jesse French
All because of the environment shifting of like, now they're in this very tightly packed environment. There's a shortage of food and that environment is what triggers this.
Cody Buriff
Yes, so the environment of like not enough food where they're at not enough like triggers this crazy metamorphosis and so where I'm going with this Jesse, okay, we'll shift from in our podcast to like people Where I'm going with this Jesse is that there's this thing called scarcity mindset and It changes us as men
Jesse French
Here, let's go.
Cody Buriff
It shifts, there's this thing that happens in our bodies and our minds and our hearts and our spirits that like, we become a different person when we're living in scarcity. In scarcity mindset, let's say.
Jesse French
Yes. Okay. Hang on a second. My mind is still like back in bug mode here for a second. And we're going to leave this and make the leap. But like that is obviously you and I are not scientists, but that is wild that like the shift in environment triggers such this total, total shift in behavior, right? And action. My mind is going to Cody to last summer in Colorado. There were again, not a bud guy, but like
there was this total prevalence of grasshoppers. it was, there was just massive amounts. And so my wife and I have a very like humble garden and we're trying to figure it out. Like I pick your brain all the time cause you're green thumb guy and you know, we're like trying to figure it out. And last year the grasshoppers just like decimated people's gardens. Like so much so that this year in the spring, people are like, I'm not running this back. Like to do all that work and have grasshoppers just destroy it. And so in my mind, I'm like,
Man, I have a one very small season of seeing the havoc and destruction that small little green semi-cute grasshoppers can bring. I don't even want to picture the locust plague total horrific, you know, apocalyptic proportions. I can't even... Hard pass! Hard pass! And so...
Cody Buriff
No, thank you.
Jesse French
The reality of scarcity is true in our lives. Cody, I want you to unpack a little bit around that because how is this present? Some could argue like, Hey, obviously, you know, for most of us, our lives are not, it's not the same correlation of the grasshopper reality of like, Hey, there's this total constriction of food, but scarcity mindset is the thing. How does that show up and unpack that a little bit?
Cody Buriff
Yeah, I mean, I think it shows up in a lot of different ways, right? So for me, I would argue probably the way that it shows up for me is when I notice that I'm or maybe I don't actually notice it. And that's part of the problem. When I'm in this space of scarcity, I'm feeling stressed about there not being enough of something, whether it's money or connection or, know, whatever is not available to me that I'm feeling like I'm needing.
I get stressed. And so I go into problem solving mode and control mode and I'll start like kind of giving directives to people and trying to like fix the problem and find solutions and not in like healthy ways, like in ways that actually harm the people around me or, or sometimes for me. And I know, you know, in restoration projects, we like to talk about that one is kind of powering up in many ways.
I think I also sometimes tower down if I'm feeling both scarcity and hopelessness. I'll probably just like hit the eject button and shut down hands up. give up and either way, like in those states of mind and that state of mind of scarcity, like there's no creativity. There's no generosity. There's none of that available for anybody, including myself.
Jesse French
Yeah. And I appreciate what you said of saying, look, this can be applied to, you talk about finances, time, connection. I love that you said connection, right? Like the scarcity mindset is not just in the financial space. Maybe that's place that we would quickly go to, but it is applicable in these different realms in our life that that can take over. think that's so, so helpful. It makes me think even this, this weekend, I was
Some of the way that scarcity showed up for me was I was working on our sprinklers in our backyard, which we could devote a whole series to like sprinkler support groups, but it was working on my sprinklers. And the bottom line was I was working on this issue all day, Saturday, most of the day, Sunday. And I did feel like, okay, I have reached the end of my capability and my expertise. And not only that, but like, there is not enough expertise to be able to navigate this.
And it was the total power down that you just talked about of just like, well, I'll just retract back, you know, raise my white flag. And because there is not enough knowledge to be able to navigate this. And so even that simple kind of funny example, right, shows up there in that space.
Cody Buriff
Totally. Jesse, where do you think scarcity mindset comes from for you? Where was some of the roots of that for you? ⁓ I think we all, mean, maybe I'm painting with a broad brush, but I think every man experiences it to some degree, at least. I'm curious where you think it began.
Jesse French
Gosh.
Yeah.
Man, I mean, for me, as I think back about it, that's partly why your articulation of like the scarcity of connection. When I think about, especially kind of one segment of my life, like in the middle school, late elementary time of my life, it felt like connection, especially with my friends at school, like navigating that felt like connection was the kind of
Is it going to show up? Like, the right conditions going to align to be able to have that happen? And more often than not being like, man, it feels meager or it feels scarce. And so somehow try to figure out, you know, the right combination of behavior to be able to navigate that. So that's one space that I think like, man, the roots of that in that space probably were began to grow then. How would you answer that Cody? Yeah.
Cody Buriff
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah,
well, I'm probably a similar age, you know, period in my life. And maybe that's common for all of us in terms of when some of those things start, you know, cementing in our, in our minds and hearts. But I grew up as a pastor's kid. And in that space, part of my experience of that was pastors just don't get paid enough. Frankly, you know, there are the exceptions, but generally speaking, pastors are severely underpaid.
And so we grew up with a bit of a financial scarcity, you know, and I realize, you know, my parents may or may not listening to this. it's like, yes, you guys did the best you could. If you're listening, thank you. And like, you're not Jesus. So it's, okay. Yeah. We can't control how our kids things and interpret things. So throw out that caveat, but you know, there was shortage. Like we ate.
beans and cornbread and spaghetti and government cheese and whatever was cheap and affordable. I knew early on not to ask for the Nikes. And secondhand clothes were normal and I didn't know any different. so there was that kind of financial stress that I could see in my dad.
how he engaged around finances and things like that. And we did some neat things, but for the most part, like I could feel the stress that was there and internalize that. then also as a pastor, right, he's giving out of himself all day long. You know, he's going on, you know, shut in visits with older people who can't get out of their homes and hospitals and nursing homes.
And the random person who comes by and needs help with something or counseling people, or he's just pouring out all the time. And, uh, you know, from a relational, emotional standpoint. so again, I am to it. That I needed to not be a burden. I needed to not add to his stress because there wasn't enough there for me. And so, you know, and whether there was or wasn't, doesn't matter. That's like how I interpreted it, you know, as a kid.
Right. And so, yeah, there was a scarcity financially, there was scarcity relationally, you know, in that sense, connection. And so I think that put into my mind started, started really cementing that into my mind of like, there's not enough. And, you know, I got to work really hard or be really creative or scramble or scratch or whatever to make sure there is at least enough.
to take care of myself and the people around me. Yeah. Yeah. So I... isn't that...
Jesse French
Yeah, fascinating. just your phrase of like, hey, I just intuited that this is the reality. Like this is the waters that I'm swimming in. And so to get really creative, to lower the needs, desires, that phrase like to not be a burden formed and then just reinforced, right? Like throughout your life.
Cody Buriff
Yeah, totally. mean, I became very self-dependent and self-sufficient, you know, in all the ways. You know, I got a job at age like 12, right, mowing lawns. And I've had a job ever since in every way and tried to learn how to provide for myself. The other way, was like, quote unquote, stopped needing people. I needed people totally, but I stopped rejecting a need for people, you know? And so there was both of those like pushing in and pulling out sort of
spaces around scarcity. And that's what's with me today.
Jesse French
Yeah, the images that I have, and I have each talked to different points about like watching the TV show alone, right? Where they people go and get dropped off into the middle of nowhere and they have like a list of 10 things they can bring, but they're really their goal or the task is for them to stay as long as they can build their own shelter, do all their own, you know, food gathering, procurement, all of that. And right. The whole premise essentially revolves around like.
Because usually they build pretty good shelters, right? But are these people going to be able to access and procure enough food? And so this concept of rationing, like they'll catch fish, right? And they'll be so, so pumped. And then they're just talking about like, okay, I'm going to ration my food. This fish will give me eight, 10 days of food until the next one comes. And good strategy, right? In that scenario, right? But it is like a total scarcity mindset in that vein, right? Of like,
How do I ration? How do I not need too much so that I can actually survive? Because that's the name of the show, right? Or the name of the game, right? Is Survival. And yet I feel like the other kind of side of that coin of scarcity is actually an invitation towards something very different than just the meager rationing of survival.
Cody Buriff
Well, yeah, even I mean, before we jump quite there, I remember one of the seasons of alone. There was a guy who caught a lot of fish and he he essentially hoarded his fish. If you remember this guy, remember his name or where he was like European. He got forced out of the game because of his malnutrition, because he wasn't eating enough and he had like 10 dried fish hanging in his.
his little like cabin that he had built. He had plenty of food, but he was hoarding it and afraid that he wasn't gonna have enough food. And so he starved himself and they pulled him out for medical reasons. I think that's another way that it can go. Like we hoard things like hoarders, right? And guys that just keep building their empires because they'll never be enough, right? It's the same mindset.
Jesse French
That's such a good example.
Cody Buriff
It's the same thing as going on. It's the scarcity stress. And so they just keep hoarding it, but then you don't ever enjoy it. You don't ever invite other people into it. Yes.
Jesse French
It's such a good example. It's like heartbreaking for that guy and so true in our own lives, right? Of again, going back to what you just said of like the fundamental belief of is there enough? Is how much is available, right? And how that just frames so much of our response of our living, of our interaction with people. Cody, I want to ask maybe on some of the flip side, like around this idea of abundance, but even before kind of the unpacking of that concept, like
Who is someone, I'm putting you on the spot, but who is someone that you know that lives from a posture of abundance? Like give us, take a second and again, whatever category you wanna apply that to, there's a whole range of that. But just give us a little example of like, this is someone that as my life has intersected with them, they choose to live out of a place of abundance.
Cody Buriff
Yeah, the first person that comes to mind is a friend of yours and mine actually was on the podcast recently. Kevin Lyon right there with you and Fort Collins. He's the first one that pops into my mind, you know, and I recognize fully Kevin, if you're listening to this, like I'm sure you're not perfect and don't do it all the time, but he projects abundance and practices living in that mindset of like, there is enough. am free to enjoy the things that are there.
I am free to invite other people to enjoy the things that either I have or that are available to me. And it's not this like tight fisted white knuckle, like fear or stress or anything like that. And it's not that he doesn't have any stress, like, you know, and yet even in the midst of that, he's generous in pretty much every way. Yeah.
Jesse French
That's such a good example. He also popped in my mind and lots of ways. I think that you and I have experienced his generosity. One of them, which is really simple, but it means a ton is like you said, Kevin lives in Fort Collins and he will routinely drop by the restoration project office. Like poke his head in.
Cody Buriff
Everyone wearing a meet and greet.
Jesse French
Usually when we're in a meeting, which is even better, right? Like multiple times this has happened, I've been on a meeting with you and Kev will just pop in and be like, that's Kevin. And, I absolutely think not only is that thoughtful, but I think that is an act of generosity born out of a posture of abundance. Because I know like he looks at his day and he says, look, there is enough time, there is enough energy where I can go.
Cody Buriff
time.
Jesse French
And actually give to my friends a restoration project, give to them through the encouragement through 15 minutes, half an hour. Sometimes it's longer that which is great of just like, Hey, how are you? I'm thinking of like, you guys are on my mind. And it is not the white knuckled like, man, I've got to just be so efficient and knock 58 things off my to-do list. Right. And that's one small example of other ways that he actually, absolutely.
Cody Buriff
from that. yeah. Thanks, Kevin. Cool. Yeah. Jesse, I think the Lord invites us into a space of abundance. I don't think he wants or desires for us to live in a scarcity mindset. You know, even when we're in the desert, you know, when the Israelites were in the desert, like he provided for them everything they needed. And I think that he does that for us and invites us to sit in that posture.
Jesse French
Thanks, Kev. You’re great.
Cody Buriff
rather than scarcity, to sit in abundance mindset rather than scarcity mindset. And so what I would like to do, just for our listeners, if that's all right, is kind of invite you into a space that's a little different. We don't normally do this on the podcast, but it's kind of a unique little practice we're going to invite you into. And so if you are driving or working out or in the middle of something, if you're able to jump in on this, that'd be fantastic. If you're not, you what I would recommend is actually pausing.
this podcast and parking somewhere or finding a quiet spot or whatever for just three minutes or so, you know, get off the road and go ahead and hit pause right now. then welcome back. If you paused, if you're, if you're still with us, cool. This is what I would say. Here's what I want you to do. Close your eyes. Just start by closing your eyes and take a deep breath.
and put your feet on the floor and feel your body kind of relax and settle in, let go of some of the stress that you might be carrying in your hands or your shoulders or your neck and just kind of relax, rest yourself. Take another deep breath. And I just wanna read some scripture. And so just keep your eyes closed, relax and take this in.
from Isaiah 55 says it, is anyone thirsty? Come and drink, even if you have no money. Come, take your choice of wine or milk, it's all free. Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food.
Matthew 11 says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
The Matthew says,
And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, and yet Solomon in all of his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don't worry about these things, saying, what will we eat?
What will we drink? What will we wear? These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers. But your Heavenly Father already knows all of your needs. Seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and He will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.
John 10 says the thief's purpose is to steal kill and destroy my purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying and abundant life
Guys, I think God offers us something different. He invites us out of the swarm and into abundance. A place where we don't have to worry and stress and live in a state of scarcity, but we can live in generosity and freedom and faith. And that's what he's inviting us all to.
Jesse French
Thanks for that, Cody.
As we find ourselves in the normal day of wherever and whenever we're listening to this, as this conversation kind of sits in our mind, particularly the scripture that you read, what would your invitation be for those of us listening coming away from this conversation here?
Cody Buriff
Yeah, I think it could be helpful to kind of examine yourself a little bit and just ask the Lord, God, where am I living scarcity? How is that showing up in my life? And then even just practically speaking is if you can figure out one way, if you can decide one small way that you can shift a little bit into abundance and let go of some of the scarcity, just one practical way this week, it could be a game changer for you.
That'd be my invitation.
Jesse French
And scarcity in these different spaces, right? In our time, in our relationships, in our finances, like in connection with other, like the whole spectrum of our life.
Cody Buriff
Totally. Yeah. God knows where we're at. He knows what's going on in our lives. He knows what's available to Him and therefore what's available to us. So we don't have to live in scarcity.
Jesse French
Cody, thanks for that invitation. Thanks for the nerding out on grasshoppers and locusts that just, I think gives such a vivid picture of those two dynamics of abundance and scarcity. Thanks, man. Thanks for joining us on another episode of Restored Man podcast. Look forward to what's ahead. And with that, adios.
Cody Buriff
Yeah. See ya.