Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The Man On FIRE Podcast is your #1 trusted resource for learning to grow and become the Man and King you were born to be. You’ll hear directly from David Mehler as he provides tools, tips, and strategies for your business, relationship, body, heart, and mindset. This is a must-listen for the man that is ready to rise into his passion, power, and purpose, and live into his full potential!
Learn more at www.manonfirerising.com.
The Grass is not always greener on the other side
===
[00:00:00] All right, gentlemen, welcome. To the live today. It is your host David Mehler the Man On Fire mentor we're gonna dive right into the center of the fire and discuss a controversial topic and that is is the grass greener on the other side and this of course is in relationship to relationships because many Men fall into this trap of feeling that the grass will be greener on the other side.
[00:00:33] So let me preface by saying that for anyone out there listening, Whether you're a man, whether you're a woman, if you have a knowing in your heart that the person that you're with is not the right person for you, you can always end your relationship with respect, with dignity, with reverence, with grace, with love, with empathy, with compassion, that is always available to us 24 7.
[00:01:01] And I am in no way, shape, or form, number one, telling you whether you should or you shouldn't end your relationship. That is for you to decide and for you to come to the truth of. Number two, what we are doing with man on fire is we are seeking to help a man have his blind spots illuminated. And when you are able to look at the truth dead in the eye, we are here to build you up and support you in having the courage to act on your truth.
[00:01:29] Because knowing the truth is one thing, acting on the truth is a world apart. And that walk across that rickety bridge for the man that has fear and allows fear to dictate his life. So we're here helping men have more passion, more power, more purpose. We're here to help men start to level up, show up more powerfully as, uh, men show up more powerfully as husbands, show up more powerfully as fathers.
[00:01:54] And as leaders in their communities and however far out you want that ripple effect to go. And we're here to let men know you don't have to do it alone. You could absolutely be a part of a Brotherhood that is here to lift you up, support you, challenge you, hold you accountable. That is what is the essence of what Man on Fire is all about, is that we want to save men from Wasting time, right?
[00:02:20] Ben Franklin said, lost time is never found. It's our most precious and treasured commodity for anyone who has ever lost a loved one. You a hundred percent understand what I'm saying. So we're here to come back into community as men and to build each other up. So with all that said. If you have a knowing that the relationship you're in is not for you, uh, then you can get out of that relationship in a respectful manner.
[00:02:43] And naturally, yes, you would be thinking, well, there's somebody else out there for me that is, uh, more compatible with who I am or who I'm growing into. And that makes complete sense. With all that said, having coached over 10, 000 men over the past 20 plus years, more specifically in the past 10 years with man on fire, what I have found is that most men live under the illusion that they're going to be more happy when they break up, leave, get out of their current relationship.
[00:03:17] And There's a saying that everywhere you go, there you are, which means you think that having a new partner in your life is going to lead to more happiness and lead to a more fulfilling life. And little do you know, after three months or six months of being with that new partner, where initially this new.
[00:03:37] Uh, person in your life, which we'll say is something that's external to you, right? Money is external to you. A woman is external to you. A job is external to you. Your house, these things are all external. And most of us as men, unfortunately fall into the trap of the accomplishments, the achievements, the awards, the plaques, the trophies.
[00:03:56] This is what's going to fill me. This is what's going to make me happy. And initially it may, it very well may. However. Inevitably, you'll be left with an empty feeling because it's not something outside of yourself external to you that can fill that void and the faster you learn that in your life, I promise you that the happier you will become when you learn how to cut the cord to things that are external to you and you actually learn how to start doing the deeper, more internal work.
[00:04:24] Then you place less stress on your partner because you don't realize that you come into a relationship Uh, inadvertently, unconsciously putting pressure that they're supposed to bring you to a certain feeling. And when you no longer have that feeling, off you go, thinking, well, somebody else must be the right fit for me.
[00:04:43] And, you know, three marriages in, four marriages in, you realize, geez, the common denominator is me. And that's where guys start to come to man on fire where they recognize, you know, I'm the common denominator. And if I want to have a different life, then I'm going to have to grow, I'm going to have to become a different person.
[00:04:57] I'm going to have to wake up. I'm going to have to become more aware, more conscious and have my blind spots illuminated. So what we see with so many men is that after three, six months goes by with their new partner where they were so happy, all of a sudden the patterns start emerging again. And then will you fall into the trap?
[00:05:16] Will you fall into the trap of finger pointing again? Will you name? Will you blame? Will you shame? Will you judge? Will you project? Will you think that she's a problem just like you thought your boss was the problem or your workers were the problem? Or will you have the courage to look in the mirror?
[00:05:29] Will you have the courage to look truth in the mirror? In the mirror, because the one thing that will never lie to you is the mirror. Your mouth will lie. The mirror will never lie. The mirror will always reveal to you exactly where you're at in life and how you truly feel about yourself. And we are too quick as men to finger point, put the finger, put the blame on to our partner.
[00:05:50] She should be more like this. She should be more like that. She should be less cold. She should be more warm. She should be more affectionate. She should be more happy. She should be more grateful. As long as you're talking about somebody outside of you, in this case, your partner, you're screwed and you should replace it with I, and you need to look more deeply into the mirror and decide who you want to be moving forward because the person that is in relationship with you is in relationship to the version of you that you're bringing into the relationship.
[00:06:23] And inevitably, if you want to see a change in your relationship. You must change. Some of you were like, well, David, doesn't it take two to tango? I don't know. Does it? What I do know is that A plus B equals C and you plus your lady A plus B equals C. If you want to have C be different, only one of you needs to change.
[00:06:46] One of you. And in the man on fire world, the man must go first. The man is the leader. The man must create the safety for a woman to even, uh, be willing to look at what are her patterns in the relationship and have a, a greater level of safety to want to, you know, unearth and dig into what we call the shadow, the stuff that we suppress, that we pushed down when we were kids.
[00:07:06] And you must get to a place where you're no longer judging her. You must get to a place where you are Holding a sacred space for her and that you have empathy and compassion and she feels loved and built up Rather than judged and teared down and many men can't say that they treat the woman in their life with this type of sacredness And in man on fire We are a fierce stand for men to come back to the restoration of protecting the feminine heart To be that guardian and be that gatekeeper for the feminine so for those of you listening and and you You feel like you're happier now that you got out of your relationship good for you But with that said, you don't need to talk poorly about your ex partner.
[00:07:48] Right at some point in time she was a little girl that had purity and she had innocence until the world was harsh and cruel and mean and whether it was her father or an ex boyfriend or an ex husband that eventually made her put up her walls and close off her heart. I'm inviting you to come back into a space of empathy for that person that was in your life and hold them as reverent and hold them as sacred.
[00:08:09] So, is the grass greener on the other side? That's for you to discover. You just had me chiming in on some perspectives for you guys to consider for those of you that are in a space right now where you truly love your partner and the relationship is having some challenges and you want to learn how can you authentically reclaim her heart.
[00:08:29] And the intimacy and the passion in your relationship, no matter where it's at, whether you're sleeping in separate rooms, whether you've already moved out, whether you've heard the word separation or divorce, whether it's content, whether it's gotten to a place of apathy where there's no emotions whatsoever.
[00:08:45] Please don't buy into the mindset of it's too late. Oh, I wish I discovered this six months ago. Don't let that sneak into your mind. At the end of the day, this is all about you getting yourself back first and from that place. Let's see what's possible in your relationship, whether it's this one or the one down the road.
[00:09:01] Guys, it's your man on fire mentor, David Mehler. Here's to you rising with passion, with power and with purpose. So much love guys. See you tomorrow.