Waythrough Well-being For All

Welcome to Audio Learning from Assemble You.

Saying yes comes naturally - as human beings, it makes us feel good to help others. But what doesn’t feel good is the stress that comes with built-up project deadlines you’re struggling to meet because you took too much on.

In this audio lesson we offer practical, actionable advice on how to say no more often and take control of your day.

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What is Waythrough Well-being For All?

Elevate & Thrive: Your Guide to Wellbeing at Work

This podcast is for every employee looking to enhance their wellbeing and excel in their role. We dive into practical strategies like how to make time for you and harness the power of no to protect your energy. Discover essential skills such as leading innovation and mastering time management. We'll also explore the four pillars of emotional resilience and equip you with a 5-step daily routine for a balanced life. Learn about the 4 Cs of mental toughness, embrace positive thinking, and tackle self-doubt, especially in customer service. Plus, unlock your potential through journaling and the transformative practice of self-reflection.

The Power of No

Brought to you by Assemble You.
It’s time to work on YOU. So sit back and listen to practical, actionable advice to accelerate your progress.

Today we are looking at the Power of No and how that simple, two-letter word can have a huge impact on your life IF used in the right way.

It's nice to say yes. Studies have proven that making people happy by saying yes releases the peptide oxytocin, known as one of the ‘Happiness Trifecta’ of oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. So it makes sense that you want the warm feeling you get from giving or receiving a positive response.

It's human to like a yes.

However, ‘yes’ can be very dangerous. Once the fleeting warm feeling has gone, you can find yourself in a stressful situation.

"Yes" can get you involved with projects that take up time you don't have. "Yes" can pull you away from your real purpose and goals. It can ruin downtime, recharge time, or family time. ‘Yes’ is dangerous.

On the other hand, "no" is your friend and ally against the constant demands on your time. Yet, it's far more difficult for most of us to say no. By saying "no," we're pushing against the very essence of what makes us human - altruism.

Let's start with an example of giving a difficult no.

Imagine you’re good with numbers and spreadsheets. Your team knows this, so they regularly come to you with their spreadsheet issues or questions. While it feels great to help and teach them these skills, are you performing a task that an online course or IT helpdesk could be doing? Are your staff learning to solve these types of problems themselves, or are they just leaning on you?

You need to be helping them solve problems without your assistance. It may take more time at first, but you and they will reap the rewards in the future. This is one way to scale yourself, and it starts with saying NO.

Of course, sometimes, you need to say yes. You can't say no every time someone asks you to get involved.

Here are our top three rules on how to make that call.

Number 1 - Know Your Boundaries

Does it help me achieve my goals? Is it a must-do or a nice-to-do?

Prioritize properly. Know where your hard line is.

Not all projects or tasks that you do have to directly contribute to your bottom line. Some things are good for the soul. Sometimes a coffee with someone may not seem a productive use of your time, but if it's deepening an important relationship or gives that person the confidence they need to succeed, then it's worth it. You make judgment calls like this every day. Start to recognize which falls within and which falls outside your boundaries.

Number 2 - Take Your Time

You don't need to reply to emails and messages as they come in. In fact, doing so can hurt your productivity. It disturbs your flow, and more often than not, you give an automatic response over a thought-through answer.

How many times have you replied quickly, agreeing to something, and then regretted it later? The best way to avoid this - take your time responding.

Flag that email, or respond tentatively to that meeting invite where your presence isn't needed. Come back to the request with a clear head and make a decision.

Number 3 - Listen to Your Gut

Gut feeling is a powerful ally when saying no.

If something seems like it may be a waste of time, then it most probably will be. Our top hack is to back up that gut feeling with some data points. Is your feeling accurate, or is it holding you back from taking a big opportunity?

Most importantly, don't ignore your gut. It has your best interests at heart.

OK, so we know when to say no. But it's still not an easy thing to communicate. So what's the best way? Our three favorite approaches:

Number 1 - Cushion It

Don't burn all your bridges in your new quest to say no. People don't like hearing no, even if it's for the best. So try to be polite about it and cushion those no's with an explanation.

For example:

"This sounds very interesting, but it's just not something that helps us achieve our current goals. Thanks for thinking of us, though, and please continue to bring new ideas our way."

"Thanks for thinking of me for this job. It looks really interesting, but my plate is full right now".

Number 2 - Use I Don't

Use I don't and remove the personal element. "I don't" helps others understand your boundaries and respect your time.

For example:

"Dave, can you get me the most up-to-date figures on the RP Briggs account?"

"I don't run one-off figures as it's too time-consuming. However, I've attached last month's figures for all the accounts, and I'll be running this month's in 8 days. I'll be sure to send those onto you."

Number 3 - Suggest Alternatives

Sometimes no isn't a no forever. It could just be a "not right now."

"I can't give that the focus it needs right now. However, it is something that interests me. Can we arrange a call in a couple of months instead?"

Or suggest an alternative method to achieving the same outcome.

"I don't think another meeting on that is a good use of our time. Can we collect our thoughts on this over email, and if we need to discuss further, arrange a meeting?"

Or suggest a different person.

"It will take me a while to extract all the information you need on this. Try Mary instead as she is much closer to the detail".

So, let’s summarize what we’ve discussed today. When making decisions on what you take on:

Know your boundaries and stick to them
Take your time - you are allowed to think things over
Listen to you gut - it’s normally right

Then when saying no to things:

Cushion it and don’t be rude
Use I don’t to reinforce your boundaries
Suggest alternatives

If you take one thing from this lesson, it should be to live and work on your terms - not other people’s. You're not impolite by saying no. Saying no gives you the bandwidth to say yes at the right time.

Your homework for this week - start thinking about some of your boundaries. If you can, write them down and refer back to them when next faced with a yes/no conundrum.