lonely campus podcast | Episode 6: lonely campus podcast with Jalyss Agosto

Episode 6 features Newhouse graduate student Jalyss Agosto, who is studying Broadcast and Digital Journalism. Jalyss is of Puerto Rican and Peruvian descent who was born in the Bronx but grew up in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. Jalyss comes to Syracuse from Westchester University of Pennsylvania, where she studied Media and Culture. Jalyss talks openly and honestly about the struggles of getting settled at Syracuse as a graduate student and finding her network of support. Her story speaks to the importance of self-advocacy and reaching out to find that support on campus when you feel isolated and alone. A special thank you to the Intercultural Collective (IC) for being gracious hosts to ODI's Pop-up Podcasting Studio.

Creators & Guests

Host

Amy Messersmith

Amy Messersmith is one of two inaugural Office of Diversity and Inclusion Administrative Fellows at Syracuse University. She is the Associate Director of Student Support Services (SSS) and works closely with the Arthur O. Eve Higher Education Opportunity Program (HEOP). HEOP and SSS are two opportunity programs that serve undergraduates at SU, many who are first generation college students. Amy collaborated with a team of likeminded staff and faculty to create The SENSES Project in 2021, which is a student focused recording studio and podcasting program for HEOP and SSS students and their friends. If you want to share your story on the lonely campus podcast, please email Amy at [e-mail].

Guest

Jalyss Agosto

Episode 6 features Jalyss Agosto, a graduate student studying Broadcast and Digital Journalism at Newhouse. Jalyss is of Puerto Rican and Peruvian descent who was born in the Bronx but grew up in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. Jalyss comes to Syracuse from Westchester University of Pennsylvania, where she studied Media and Culture.

What is lonely campus podcast ?

Loneliness in the United States was declared an epidemic recently by the Surgeon General. Finding community on campus – especially post-pandemic – can be a challenge for students coming to college their first year. The purpose of the lonely campus podcast is to let students who are feeling lonely know that they are not alone, and features students who are willing to talk about experiencing loneliness. Students then share the steps they took to find their community and a sense of belonging. The podcast seeks to bring hope and reassurance to the listener, as well as provide concrete steps to take to find community. This podcast is sponsored by Syracuse University's Office of Diversity and Inclusion and produced by Amy Messersmith, an ODI Administrative Fellow.

Episode 6: lonely campus podcast Jalyss Agosto

Mary Grace Almandrez 00:11
Hi, I'm Mary Grace Almandrez, the vice president for diversity and inclusion. Welcome to the lonely campus podcast is presented by the Office of Diversity and Inclusion. This show is hosted by our administrative fellow Amy Messersmith. And features students just like you who share stories about the challenges and triumphs that come with trying to find your place on Syracuse University's campus.

Amy Messersmith
Hi, everybody, this is Amy Messersmith. I'm one of the Associate Directors for HEOP and SSS to opportunity programs here on campus. And I am also one of the administrative fellows through the Office of Diversity and Inclusion. And my proposed project is a pop up podcasting studio. And so I'm really excited to pop up in the intercultural collective. It's September 29. And we're set up here and our purpose is to collect students stories. And so for this episode of lonely campus, our goal is to hear stories from students who might not have initially kind of found their place on campus and then learned learn the steps that they took to eventually find their in their niche or their people or their place, the place where they felt, you know, most accepted and that that also important sense of belonging. And so I am super excited to introduce Jalyss agosto. Welcome, Jalyss.

Jalyss Agosto
Thanks, Amy. Hello, everyone. So yes, my name is Julie's I'm Puerto Rican, and Peruvian. I'm 22 years old. I'm a graduate student here at NewHouse, studying broadcasting and digital journalism. So I was born in Bronx, New York, we're raised in Pottstown, PA, for those of you that don't know where that is, that's like, near the Philadelphia area. I went to my undergrad at West Chester University of PA where I studied media and culture with a minor in psychology.And yeah, you know, then I graduated this past May. And now I am here at Syracuse University.

Amy Messersmith
So, Julian, do you mind telling us a little bit about your process of selecting Syracuse?

Jalyss Agosto
Yes, so my process with selecting Syracuse, so I originally didn't have going to grad school in mind, I kind of just my situation at home, like my home situation really isn't the best situation. So home for me,
has always been school, right. Like in school, I'm able to have an environment where I'm around individuals that are goal driven, you know, kinda all on the same goal to succeed at least and you know, get a degree. And, you know, I was able to have my own room be surrounded with, you know, supportive people. So, when I look at a school environment, it's way more than just receiving my education. To me, it's a safe space, you know, I- you gain mentors, you gain resources. So for me, school, in general has a really special place in my heart rather than again, just you know, getting a degree. So how I kind of ended up at Syracuse was because I switched my major. I originally came in to Westchester as a criminal justice major. And I switched over to media and culture because COVID happened when I came in as a freshman in 2019. And I came back as a junior, so you know, I lost a lot of time as an undergrad, and I lost passion for criminal justice, I wanted to be an FBI agent at the time, and it just, you know, I went back to school and the passion and drive just was not there for that anymore. And so at that point, you know, I kind of just was like, Okay, what was I already doing outside of school, and that was more so of media and modeling, and being in front of the camera and production and camera operating. I noticed how much I love those spaces. So then I switched over to Media and Culture, graduated still on time. And in like I said, I didn't have going to master- to receive my masters. It wasn't not in my plan. It was like a situation where I was like, Okay, well, I switched over last minute to media and culture. So I didn't get a lot of you no experience within the education side of things. So I was okay, like, why not go and get my Master's but it was also because, you know, I didn't want to go back home. Just because that environment, I feel like would have not been in an environment that would have continued to help me succeed to the next level. So I was like, Okay, let me start a time but also receive my next degree at the same time. So that's kind of kind of how I ended up at Syracuse you know, I was okay well, Media and Culture major. are a mentor of mine, Kay was actually the reason why I ended up at Syracuse she recommended Syracuse to me she is from the Syracuse area, but she didn't go to Syracuse, she actually went to Buffalo, she recommended Syracuse to me, I did my research I came and visited, and the rest was history,

Amy Messersmith
what you share about what college and your education has meant to you, and how it's provided a safe space and how it was the space where you felt validated as a learner, and as a student is so powerful. And I think that is so important for people to understand, thank you, that it's not just a degree and a piece of paper or, you know, a stepping stone to your career. But you know, school means something different for different students. And I think that that is really powerful. So thank you for sharing that.

Jalyss Agosto
Yeah, of course. And I'm glad that you touched on that. Because, you know, there are some people that do come and receive their education. You know, there's multiple reasons, like you said, a lot of students have reasons because their parents think that's the best decision for them, or they went, so you should go take a situation, you know, in my situation, I didn't really, you know, I'm a first generation, high school, graduate college student, master's student. So it's a little bit different for me, when it comes to like this school topic, when it comes to speaking to my mom about it, you know, I have a younger little brother. So it's just something that that was just my journey, you know, it's my, it's my escape from an environment that kind of just doesn't serve a positive purpose to my future. So, you know, it's something that I feel like, definitely helps me has gotten me so far, because I was able to, kind of like, overcome the tribulations in the cards that was dealt for me.

Amy Messersmith
And not only were you able to graduate on time through the pandemic, but you are also able to manage a pretty significant shift from criminal justice to media.

Jalyss Agosto
Right. And yeah, that wasn't easy, right? That was actually probably one of the hardest things that I did. Because for my criminal justice degree, I had one credit left. I was supposed to graduate early. And it was just a decision that my mom was not happy with. Nobody was really happy with nobody was really supportive of it, because it's like Jalyss you're about to graduate. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm about to graduate. But I do have this extra year that is, you know, technically the year, I was supposed to stay as a senior. But I think my mindset to that was, one thing about me is that I'm a risk taker, I kind of like doing things that people are not normally going to do. I don't think I say this all the time, I feel like 98% of people would have had one more credit left than would have never switched into a major Never, never. So it was just something that I looked at as I'm like, okay, like, do I stay with this degree that I'm not going to be happy with and it occur that I'm not going to be happy with for the rest of my life? Or am I going to switch and just stay the extra year. So it was something that it was a big decision, but it was its decision that I made. And it was the best one that I've ever made, you know, I'm doing things that I love, I'm successful in it. I'm meeting amazing people and mentor mentors from it. And, you know, if I didn't do that I'd be you know, being a criminal justice major. And it's crazy now, because I'm in broadcasting and digital journalism. And I And now that I'm in this program, I say all the time, like if I wanted to go back into criminal justice, I'm able to do that as a journalist. 100% So it's like, that's pretty cool, too. You know what I mean? Like, technically, I do don't have a criminal justice degree. I mean, I had one credit left. But you know, I did learn everything up until the end. So it was hard. Like, I was taking seven classes, I was a full time student, I had to double up on my credits to graduate on time. I also was working part time. You know, I was I was working overnight at Target. I was waking up at 6am to go to Ulta Beauty store and then I'd go to class like it was exhausting. It was not easy at all. But honestly, like it taught me so much about myself like I'm just a true Trailblazer. It's something that you know, nothing was handed to me. So it's like a has to work hard for everything but I knew the main goal was to graduate college and I was going to do anything that you know I needed to do to do that. And that's because I have my little brother looking up to me

Amy Messersmith
Wow, seven classes while working two jobs.

Jalyss Agosto
It was terrible. literally insane, like literally insane. And you know, shout out to you know, my sister's like assisted me my best friend Destiny like she has was there through thick and thin through that, like, you know, she was my roommate she seen everything that you know, emotionally and mentally that the toll that that took on me you know, it wasn't easy, but like I said, like you gained that that's those friends and that support system, you know, in environments like this. Especially to because you know, West Chester University was awesome. to a predominantly white institution, so you know, finding spaces where there's people like you or went through the same things as you were, you know, that was one thing about Westchester where there was a small percentage of us, but we were all like family.

Amy Messersmith
That is so impressive. And so, through that, through your one year of finishing your media major, you are able to then be accepted into the number one communication school in the country.

Yes, which is, I think the biggest accomplishment that I've done this so far, because I definitely worked very hard to get into this school. Um, I, to be completely honest with you, I didn't know how big of you know, deal new house was I didn't know about the NewHouse Mafia. Like, I knew that Syracuse had a name to it. I know that it was an amazing school to be at, I knew that it was an amazing school for media, but I didn't know how amazing it really was. I didn't know how you can walk around and everyone's like, Oh, my God, you would have Syracuse, oh, my god, your NewHouse student, your NewHouse like or, you know, the the network that they're behind you, when you leave out of here and support you through your journey. Like, I did not know how strong it was until I got here. Well, that's quite the accomplishment.

Amy Messersmith
Before you came to SU, can you share a little bit about what you imagined it was going to be like?

Jalyss Agosto
So I honestly imagined Syracuse to be a school where I was going to be able to kind of branch out of my shell, right? Because I think all I did was work so hard and undergrad, like all I did was grind grind grind grind that like I sacrificed so much fun. I sacrifice my senior year homecoming, like, it was just a lot of things that I sacrificed. So coming to Syracuse, I kind of expected it to be an environment of definitely like, fun, right? Like a lot of people interacting with each other. They're a, you know, kind of like the a multicultural center of us all, like kind of being in having events and programs and networking and having fun and laughing. So, because like I said, I was just, that's what we did, right? It was a small amount of us, but you would never, you never would have thought. So that was one thing that I imagined I imagined honestly, like, the diversity in new house, I actually was really surprised with the lack of diversity that was in that specific, you know, building. I think I, for some reason would have thought that there would have been more of that. But also, it wasn't a surprise to me, because I came from a predominantly white, you know, institution as an undergrad. So I think I kind of like thought that that would have been different for some reason, but it wasn't. So that was something that I also thought would have been, as well with my cohort, I thought there would have been way more, you know, diverse students coming in, but there wasn't either. So and then like I said, it's I think that's just because I've been so used to being in a predominantly institution, right, and knowing that there are those little low numbers of multicultural students, but feeling like it wasn't that so I kind of expected the same thing here. And over the summer, right, nobody's here, it's just kind of like just our cohort BDJ cohort TRF PR. So you know what, we don't interact with each other because we're all in bootcamp for like 8-10 hours of the day. So my expectations of diversity and fun and networking, on a level of like, being in a multicultural center and everyone kind of like being together and yeah, like kind of just I guess I don't want to say being supportive but more so I guess gathering together was just not what I expected in the beginning and I don't know if that was because like I said it was summer that it was like okay, this is terrible. But it definitely got better

Amy Messersmith
You mind going into a little bit about the like your moving experience and getting here initially kind of landing in Syracuse and what that was like?

yes, so um, honestly, my moving to Syracuse was awful. It was a very terrible experience for me.
On the level of support from Syracuse moving in was just not great. You know, I don't know if it was because it was summer and it was level the lack of employment, that you know, kind of just not knowing where my apartment was not receiving any emails about where to get my key not, you know, the directions to get to my apartment like I didn't receive anything like I had to make dozens of phone calls. To find out where do I get my key? Where am I living? Who's my roommate? Like, I didn't get any of that information, I had to literally call multiple different offices to find out. Where am I living? Who's my roommate? Where do I go? Where do I pick up my key? What time? Can I pick up my key? What time can I move in like, so I thought on that, and that this or that this organization was, and like the professionalism on the aspect of providing students information with housing was awful. I didn't like how I had to be the one to reach out, especially, you know, I'm coming to a new environment, I shouldn't feel I already know, I'm going to feel lost. But now I feel even more lost. Because there's no guidance, you know, so now I have to reach out and get all this information when it should be provided for me. And again, I don't know if that was also like my undergrad, they were very good at that. So I was just, you know, certain expectations that I've had for my time as an undergrad that, you know, this is a really big school. It's really known for communications, and it's that so it's like, okay, like, where's the communication? So, I think that was like, my biggest thing like, okay, like, you know, lack of communication. So honestly, that was terrible. I remember being so frustrated. And it was, yeah, it was a lot. So that was number one. I was like, okay, strike one, strike two, you know, I moved up here. Like I said, I don't have my mom and my dad aren't together. So my mom also is, you know, she's a single parent has two kids. So, financially, she can't help me as much as she would like to as a parent. Right. So moving up here was difficult, like, you know, we had to, it was a struggle to find like, Okay, how are we going to afford the Uhaul to get you to school four hours away? That was a financial hardship that we went back and forth for probably a week, week and a half about and I'm sorry, I don't know how I'm gonna get the money. My, you know, my mom's like, I can't afford it. I was like, Okay, well, like how am I going to get to school like, so we're just a battle that we were going back and forth about because, you know, for people that do come far, like, it's a financial, it can be a financial burden that I feel like people sometimes aren't comfortable talking about, and it's, and it's like, it happens to the best of us, like, you know, you aren't the only one out there that you know, is struggling and is afraid to admit it because you feel embarrassed, right. And I think that's my biggest thing that, you know, shout out to my aunt, she was the one that was able to help me, you know, and my uncle, get me to school, you know, they definitely are a big support system for me when needed. So I really appreciate them for that. So that was also an issue, you know, even like, to be completely honest, it was hard putting food in the fridge when I first got here, like, it was not easy, because like I said, like coming from a single parent household. Like, we just spent 400 My aunt just spent $400 to get me up here plus tolls and everything. And then it's like, okay, well, now I don't really have enough money financially to get food in the fridge. So that was something that that I personally personally struggle with getting up here too. And if it wasn't for, you know, my friend that I met Jordan, kind of like I met in the program of broadcasting and digital digital journalism, you know, offer that sense of like resource of showing me around campus and you know, me being able to be comfortable enough to have conversations because I know that we came from the same demographic and hardship that I was able to, you know, make people aware that I felt comfortable with that I was building those friendships and those relationships with of my situation and the amount of support that I got back and the amount of you know, loving care that I got from people that technically at the time were technically strangers right because I'm just getting to know them was just amazing how much they were able to be there and support and provide any way they can. You know,

Amy Messersmith
Jordan is an HEOP grad. Wow, he was well he was in our program.

Jalyss Agosto
He's a really big part of honestly a story of how I was able to get through the beginning of my struggles with you know, Syracuse like I said financially it was hard and like I said meeting the right people at the right time I think is is crucial like you never know who you're going to meet you never know what that one conversation that one “Hi” that one “good morning” that one “Hey”, like my name is Jalyss Nice to meet you is going to do you don't you don't know.

Amy Messersmith
I'm really sorry. That that that you experienced that in the movement and had to kind of go digging to find the vital information? Yeah. Where are you going to sleep? Yeah. Going to enter the apartment. Are you on South?

Jalyss Agosto
Yes, I am on South Campus. Yeah. So So yeah, that was that was struggling then obviously I moved in and in the summer, so let's talk about how there is no AC down south campus. So I was honestly going through it, like, I think I kept saying to myself, like, did I make the worst decision of my life, right? But then it's like, I remember that, you know, this environment that I came from, right? of, you know, not having food in, in the, in the fridge or wondering where your next meal is going to be or kind of, like, you know, just not having a lot of, you know, that financial support and resource. Because, you know, as a single parent, anybody that, you know, relates to that understands, like, that they can only do so much, you know, what I mean? They can only try their hardest, and it's like, as you get older, you start to understand that, you know, they gotta pay the bills, they gotta, you know, try and take care of you. It's, it's not easy, right? So it's like, okay, like, you know, I had to grow up faster than other people. And, like I said, it wasn't easy. It was hard. So I think that's one thing that I kind of what is what got me through the summer and through those hardships, you know, the support system that was there, but also, you know, just remembering, like, I have overcome some of the hardest things in my life, that I was like, this is just another, you know, hurdle that I'm going to jump jump over. You know, it's hard right now. It's flushed. Anyway, now it was, you know, emote vent mentally draining and emotional. But there's nothing that I can't overcome. You know, I just told myself like, you cannot give up. And again, like I said, having those people around you that remind you like, you got this, like, right now, you may not feel like you can do it, but I got you. And I think that's what's important when having those, you know, people around you that kind of uplift you when you can uplift yourself.

Amy Messersmith
Did you? Did you stumble upon the Hendricks Chapel? They have food pantry, okay.

Jalyss Agosto
Yes, yes. So that is a resource that I do recommend. Anybody that is in need of that, you know, kinda remember, I think the biggest thing too, like I said, like, put your pride aside, right, like acts for help reach out to the people here at Syracuse that I have met, like I said, my experience has gotten so much better, that are going to help you that are going to guide you to the resources that you need. Just ask. And I know that asking is probably one of the hardest things for anyone to do. Because you you fear rejection, you fear it, the feeling of embarrassment, but I'm telling you that like you're not the only person that goes through it, like there are people that go through it. And it's like, this is why I'm here to be a voice to know that, for people to know that you aren't alone, you know what I mean? Like to be that voice and to admit that, you know, there's other people that struggle and go through it too, and it's gonna get better, but never reach out and be scared to ask for help. Because there are people here in the university in the community, that care for you that love you that want to see you succeed, and they're going to guide you to the help that you need.

Amy Messersmith
At what point would you say did you start to experience feelings of loneliness?

Jalyss Agosto
Definitely. You know, when I first came here in the summer, like I said, I couldn't and really, nobody was really up here, either. So it was hard for me to find my community, it was hard for me to find people that kind of like, looked like me or came through the similar backgrounds. So definitely, during the summer, kind of going through boot camp was hard, right? Like, it's only a few people were all new, we're all trying to get to know each other. We're all trying to get comfortable and trust one another, like who can you confide in who you can't. So during the summer, like I felt very lonely, honestly, like, it was just, I have a really big problem with trusting people, like, you know, I just came from an environment where that's not normal, like you don't just see people and just feel like you can trust them. Right away. You know what I mean? Like, I came from an environment where there was a lot of gun violence, you know, there's kids that you know, we walk to school, we have to be watch our backs walking to school, like it just, it's just hard, kind of like maneuvering that. And I think that's one thing that I've learned, through, you know, talking to other people kind of learning when to turn that switch off of understanding, like, you won't feel alone, if you learn how to put your guard down.

Amy Messersmith
Sometimes that's a tough dynamic to navigate. Because it's a protective measure. And if as you navigate and move the world, your guard is up, and then all of a sudden, you're thrust into a situation where you're with people you don't know and your guard is up, then you know, at what point do you do let it drop a little bit?

Jalyss Agosto
Exactly. Yeah. And I think that was something like honestly, ever since I started doing that I dropped my guard. I think that's where my experience here got better. You know, when I started reaching out to faculty and professors that you know, I know are really good to me and really, you know, recommended by the professors like you should meet this person you know, I listened to it, you know, I think the biggest thing that I can say for people that do feel lonely, right, when you are feeling that way is to reach out to your network reach out to the people that make you happy that uplift you. Because that's what I did. You know, I've reached out to all the Latin ex professors, faculty that you could think on this campus, that amazing, amazing individuals, amazing people. But also, within the Multicultural Center, right? Like, this is a place where people come and, you know, you're going to see people that look like you, you're not going to feel lonely, you're not going to be able to feel like you can't have a conversation and someone is not going to relate to you. So, you know, those feelings of loneliness definitely were during the summer, but like I said, it's definitely gotten better. Since I've let my guard down.

Amy Messersmith
It's almost like you have to take that risk.

Jalyss Agosto
Yeah. Yeah, like putting yourself out there. I think, what is my biggest advice? Like, it's not like, you know, when I talk to other students who be like, Why are you meeting with all these professors and faculty? And like, what, like, what is that do and I'm like, that does more than you know, right? Because it's like, they're, they have these jobs, because they want to see us succeed, like they're here dealing with students, and, you know, different departments, because that's what they specialize in. That's, you know, and then if you sit down and speak with these faculty, and, you know, professors, you'll sit down and hear their story as well and realize that they are more wiser than us, right? Because lived a longer life, you know, but also similar stories to understand, like, which goes back to, then you don't feel alone, because you are like, wow, like I can relate to you like, and then they can guide you and be your mentor. So I think that's my biggest thing is like putting yourself out there, I put myself out there, I reached out, I was like, hey, like, can we talk like, I would love to get to meet you, I'd love to get to know you. And now I just have this support system at Syracuse. Now, that's just growing bit by bit by bit. Because I took those chances to introduce myself and was like, you know, this is who I am. And as much as your resource to me, I would love to be a resource resource to you.

Amy Messersmith
I love that you saw faculty as a place to build community that is so powerful, that I mean, that's something that you're rewriting the narrative of what a professor can be, right? You know, not just from an undergraduate perspective, and maybe because the age difference is a little bit less as you get into graduate school, but undergraduates see faculty mostly as the person that's going to give them the grade them accountable.

Jalyss Agosto
Yeah, it's true. And I think that's one thing that, you know, I would love for people's perspective, you know, don't look at your professors as just the people that are grading your papers, or the person that's teaching you because like, they are going to be such help to you and such a support system, as long as you know, just sit there and like, talk to them and tell them what's going on. Like, their job isn't to just only grade your papers. And it's not to only be your professor, or not only to see you on Monday morning or Monday night, you know, like, they're here for much more than that. And, you know, as an undergrad to understand, like, you you're so young and you're worried about partying and you're worried about trying to make it to class on time and getting your grades on that. I feel like you know, there's that saying where it's kind of like you you miss what's right in front of you, right? So what's like the those professors that are right in front of you, or way more than just people grading your papers, their research, their support system, there are people that they might not know the answer, but they know the next person that does right. So it's just kind of like that train of network right. And that's one thing that you hear at Syracuse is the support system, the network is amazing here, it's like there isn't going to be someone that isn't going to no one answered, that person may not know that you're axing but someone they know does.

Amy Messersmith
Can you talk a little bit about what a sense of belonging feels like to you? Or how you might describe it?

Jalyss Agosto
I definitely think a sense of belonging longing to me. That is such a good question. Um, see, I don't see a sense of belonging in the sense of like, okay, like, let's say for example, I'm in a Latin X environment, right, so now I've found my sense of belonging, like of course, I'm going to find my sense of belonging there, because those are people that look like me. And kinda like, I'm pretty sure experienced similar upbringings. I think to me, a sense of belonging is just being around people in an environment where I feel loved and supported and cared for. That's how I when I feel like I belong, right? When there's that communication or that like, people around you that are like I'm so proud of you or like, you know, you to go back to the uplift upliftment part where it's like, you know, you're talking to your friends or you're talking to people that you're around or Hear environments like, again here, like the Multicultural Center and you're talking about maybe how you you're nervous about something or you feel like you can't do it in somebody's like, Girl, yeah, you can, you know, so it's just stuff like that I think a sense of belonging to me is being in an environment in a community where you don't have to be around people that necessarily look like you, or went through the same things you went through or experienced hardship, but there's just that support and love, I think that's when I feel like I belong.

Amy Messersmith
That's fantastic. That's what we try to create, with our students in Ethiopian sss. It's like, just that sense of, you know, we're in your corner, right? You know, we, we believe in you. And we know you can do it. And we're here. And I think, and I'm glad that you said that.

Jalyss Agosto
Because I think another thing too, is like a lot of people take the sense of belonging as in like, right, you can't do as if you can't step into other people's communities or culture, and you don't belong, I think it's just kind of like, you know, obviously respecting that community and that culture, but also knowing that you can find your place their yearning, and you can find a way to be a resource and to be of help to be support. Vice versa, like you just because you don't look like that person, or you may have not experienced their cultural background or things that they may have experienced. It's just kind of like being that support system of each community. Right? Like, how can I help you? How can how can we help each other right? I feel like that there's a lot of people who feel like, Oh, I can't go to this because it's not, you know, what I am? And I'm like, no, like, you know, there is a sense of belonging for you, like people are welcoming and going to be there for you no matter the skin tone or the cultural background. So

Jalyss Agosto
that's so true. So how did you cope with your feelings of loneliness and lack of sense of belonging and whatever you're comfortable sharing, please do but no pressure?

Amy Messersmith
I definitely cried a lot. Honestly. One thing about me is I'm a cry. I'm a very emotional person. So I did a lot of that I cried a lot. I kind of just you know, I figured it out though. Like I think I you know, I ended up finding a church here going to church a lot like I said, being around people that are supportive, having outlets where I can kind of like let out things that I'm talking about was a lot of what I did when I was going through those hardships and you know still do I think definitely again like crying my way through that letting it out understanding that you know, these tears are not going to be here forever was something that I that I did do a lie it was definitely cry. That's kind of how I let my emotions out the gym too. I really enjoyed going to the gym. I feel like I would go into the gym upset or sad and angry and come out feeling like a brand new person. So the gym was is definitely always been an escape for me though. Like I know the gym is a place where kind of keeps my my sanity intact, as well as, you know, self care. You know, when I'm in a mood where I just am so sad and I'm so frustrated. I'm like, Okay, well I put everything down aside and I just need a self care day. You know, whether that's putting on a mask or a bubble bath or, you know, a mask in my hair and kind of just, I also do lino sometimes listen to a meditation music, I let that play. I think that's like one of the biggest things that I just relaxes me a lot. Love r&b music kind of like gets me in a happy mood. One of my mentors, Wolf has a happy playlist, which I don't know if he knows, but I guess he'll know now that I listened to it all the time. He shared it with me because I was like, oh, so he there's like Camp Rock on their high school musical. And I'm like, it just brings me back to a moment, you know, in my childhood that I was just so happy. So I kind of put things like that on a kind of just uplift my spirit when I'm in those state states of you know, mind, you know, I really appreciate you sharing that you cry because it's so important. It's such an essential human function. Yes. And we've been shamed about crying since you know, since children

Amy Messersmith
and so I think it's so important that we release those enzymes or whatever, you know, feelings and so on and so forth happen when when you cry, it's like, if you bottle it up, you just kind of get stuck

Jalyss Agosto
and via and that's one thing that I kind of like, talk about a lot because you know, I struggled with mental health a lot. You know what I mean? Like therapists mean, trying to find the right therapist has been something that I've struggled with before but I really do enjoy therapy, you know, it's just, it's a lot of things that I've experienced that you know, I am a huge advocate for like cry if you need to cry, like there is no shame here. I'm not judging you. You should never be judged for you know, releasing those emotions that deserve or deserve to be released. Right. Same thing well, you know, having a therapist and having those resources and those outlets to speak to you It's all about really just putting your pride aside, I think is the biggest thing and just understanding that like, stuff like this is okay, like we are human, we're okay to cry, it's okay to cry, it's okay to reach out and say, I need a therapist, I need to talk to, you know, some professional, right? I need to be on medication. Like, all that stuff is normal, like, you know, there's people who they need it, they need it to get through the day they do, right. Like, I needed to be on medication for a while to get through the day. And it was just something that, you know, that needed to help me and it was just, there's no shame in it. Like, I think I rather my biggest thing that I always say to someone is like, I'd rather be here today, tomorrow, the next day, with help than not be here at All

Amy Messersmith
Right? So you kind of answered the next question. Because the question is, what steps did you take to figure out the spaces and places on campus where you found your sense of belonging, and I know you mentioned going to a church in the community, going to the gym, any other things that come to mind

Jalyss Agosto
that, like I said, definitely the outlet of the, my, you know, people that I've found here, I can't even like put into words, how appreciative I am of the support system, from you know, people as far as going out and doing activities, whether, you know, like, obviously, October is coming up, we just went to a pumpkin patch. And you know, just really exploring Syracuse, I think, like fun activities, I really enjoy hiking, I enjoyed nature, I'm such an outdoor person, I love everything about it. So being about around my friends and hanging out with them. And, you know, just exploring an environment that I'm new to has also been something that's been very helpful. And like I said, just taking the time to relax, watch movies kind of be put your mind in a space of relaxation, like understanding that, you know, when you are in certain spaces, like, okay, like, what do I do that makes me happy, or that's going to make me relax. And if that's being around a specific person that you know, puts a smile on your face, and, you know, lets you do things together that you guys enjoy, you know, it's just, it's just an amazing feeling.

Amy Messersmith
It's interesting, what I'm getting from your story, what I'm taking away from your story is that you gave yourself permission to kind of understand and kind of honor the feelings that you were feeling. Initially, you also took a risk, and you kind of let your guard down a little bit. And then you took so many steps to kind of move yourself from the situation you are in, to, you know, reach out to faculty, to go to the gym and to stay active, to reach out and make friends to go on adventures to explore the outdoors and the community, the surrounding community to find a church where you've had a sense of community. It's like Julie's you, you took it upon yourself to build a life here.

Jalyss Agosto
Yeah, I did. Yeah, you know, like I said, it wasn't, it wasn't easy to to get here. And literally, physically, mentally to get here. It was hard, it was not easy. Being here was hard, like anybody and I know you guys do have experience living in South campus with no AC, it was a struggle. But I made it through, you know, winter is on the way, but you know, I am proud of myself. And thank you so much. You know, I really appreciate that. Like I said, That's what I think my biggest lesson I learned is like I had to put my guard down once I put my guard down. And once I had those people that was like Julie's like, turn off that switch, like, turn off that switch that you're so used to having on in that environment of looking over your shoulder of not trusting people of, you know, not knowing if you can have a conversation with other people around like, you're not in that environment anymore. Like, Jordan also told me all the time, like this phase of your life needs a brand new release. And, you know, that requires a lot of new things. And once I took that advice and like understood, it was time to turn that switch off, it was time to let my guard down. I have received so many blessings, opportunities, mentors support, because I was like, okay, you know, it's game time, let's do what I know Julie's can do and reach out to people that are you know, that I want to meet and reach out to people that you know, are recommended to me and just explore and understand that you know, people and that you're gonna sit next to in class and people, the professors that are here that have worked in the industry, you know, they're all going to be of help to you at some point in life, whether it may not be now or they may not be in five years, you know, the New House Mafia is real, like you are going to go into every space and job and there is going to be a Syracuse alumni in the building so I think that is something that I'm so grateful for, you know, getting that advice that push to kinda like get out of my To show and get out of my head has changed the game I feel like I am blossoming into, you know, the woman that I know I'm going to become day by day taking things, you know, one step at a time. And it's honestly, it's amazing to see photos so powerful.

Amy Messersmith
Any last words of wisdom for, say, a graduate student or undergraduate student in Syracuse who might be feeling something similar to what you're feeling? Initially?

Jalyss Agosto
Yeah, so for any student, right, whether it's a grad student or an undergrad, I definitely, you know, it's so cliche to say, but keep going, right? Keep going and acts for help. You're not alone, you know, you are gonna there's going to be periods in your life, and where you're going to feel alone, where you're not, you're going to feel like you don't have anyone or you're going to feel like you're good enough isn't good enough. And it is, you know, just be mindful and give yourself grace, understand that things are going to work out. It may not be when you want it to be, but it will be the right time. And just keep going, you know, be proud of yourself. You've made it this far. And what's in store for you is going to be bigger than you imagine.

Amy Messersmith
Oh, my goodness, Chili's. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so powerful. And I just I really appreciate you being open and your honesty. And I mean, your your story arc is amazing. And it's not over yet. It's not over yet.

Jalyss Agosto
All right, thank you.

Jalyss
Bye.

Amy Messersmith
Hi, everybody. This is Amy Messersmith. I just wanted to give one quick last note regarding this episode of lonely campus. Jalyss was very open and honest about her experience at Syracuse University. And we just wanted to let the listener know that with Jalyss’s permission, we did reach out to the respective offices on campus to communicate her experience just so that they were aware of what she had shared on this podcast. Thank you. Bye bye.

Armando Martinez 42:08
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Lonely campus Podcast. I'm Armando Martinez, Director of inclusion and belonging. If you found this podcast helpful, let us know and feel free to share other ways we can make campus more welcoming and inclusive to all Thank you.