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What I ate last week. Ranked #182 in food podcasts in Mexico according to an email I just got.
UPDATES
In Baltimore with coworkers, one of which has seen oceans 11 over 500 times like the Staten Island neighbor in what we do in the shadows
Chilly-fil-a Pea starch removal waffle fries. Waffle fries have always been bad and soft
Ideals special https://www.instagram.com/p/DVgoD3MEWt7/?img_index=2&igsh=MjZiYnpnaGZyMjJ4
What makes coffee mate sweet Italian creamer Italian? The aspartame? ASPERTAAME
And super sustainable, I love to keep the bottles and reuse to make Christmas crafts with my kids
Ordered Rudy Jude pants / Micaela Greg barrel pants / consumption: buy one nice thing instead of 10 pairs of pants that are just ok
Noma: many outlets reporting vast physical abuse. If it wasn’t over before, it’s over now
SCENTS
Loewe (Low-Weh-Vay) Solo Atlas
Official description: Solo Atlas by Loewe is a Floral fragrance for men. Solo Atlas was launched in 2021. The nose behind this fragrance is Núria Cruelles Borrull. Top notes are Tunisian Neroli, Mandarin Orange and Pink Pepper; middle notes are Orange Blossom, Petitgrain, Salt and Mastic or Lentisque; base notes are Olibanum, Musk, Haitian Vetiver, Lily-of-the-Valley, Amber and Peony.
My review: Immediate yes with a strong Neroli bite that quickly fades into a no with a touch of early 2000s ocean-scented candle or an Axe men’s body wash called Sunsami Tidal Wave / My Village is Gone / Eaten by a Shark or Irish Spring. I get a touch of salt. Too masculine. So strong I tried to wash it off. Could taste it in my mouth from smelling it. It’s a no.
Le Labo The Matcha
Official description: https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Le-Labo/The-Matcha-26-69731.html
My review: revisiting this sample as a work appropriate, mid season option. My sister’s chosen scent. This is actually great, fresh, and musky. Good for office wear. Woody.
Daddy smelled like oatmeal
INTERNET
Rumor about a parmesan crusted dragon fruit margarita at longhorn
Big Sky, Montana
Omakase MT
Gatorade drink series https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8xmJWbQ/
Buttermilk syrup looks like you poured a shaken up coke https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8xmujB1/
How did she not know? If this was in my house I would have a family press conference announcing my latest acquisition https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8xubD9V/
Celebrity Food Log: Elon Musk
Breakfast: Steak and eggs, coffee
Lunch: Nothing or something small
Dinner: Varies (he likes a wide range of cuisine)
Favorite cuisine: American (cheeseburger is the perfect food to him)
Proceeded to tell a story about going to sugar fish in LA where his son tried to order a cheeseburger
Celebrity Update: Gordon Ramsey is not a family man, apparently
I think we all knew this
I’m generally weary of when men position their families / children to paint themselves in a light of a family man; often the opposite is true; case and point let’s go back and talk more about Elon Musk parading his son around on his shoulders; Gordon would have his kids cook with him on his show
Kitchen nightmare disguises
Bald & Beautiful: I’m listening again even though they don’t like Cool Ranch. Come on guys. I almost stopped listening after they put a 30 minute audible commercial in the middle of one of their episodes
Top Chef: “Is this the most insufferable group ever?” - Brian
In Charlotte aka a giant housing development
Watching Kristin on Traitors made me respect her more; she seemed smart and was able to confront people; I still prefer Padma as a host; Padma knew how to not make the show about herself; except for in her new show sponsored by Dawn Power Wash. Can’t wait to hear about them all season. America’s culinary cup with Wylie dufresne (dufrains). Do I want to watch a CBS show? No. But I will give it a try. It feels very CBS. Reminds me of The Apprentice. Padma flying around in a helicopter the entire intro and talking about her accolades. Gaudy. Best part of the show was actually a commercial for an eye drop with sarah jessica parker and brian said who is that? She looks like she’s seen a nuclear blast. Actually this show could be good. Sort of reminds me of iron chef. Who could forget bobby flay standing on his cutting board. Buddah
Sponsored by Graza olive oil and they pronounce it “ga-za” not “gratza”
They make them cook in the middle of a race track while race cars do 23 laps around them. It must stink there. They all look blasted in the heat like a damn parking lot, cooking on metal tables that are giving them third degree burns
People somehow still managed to serve raw fish without it roasting in the sun
March 2, 2026 (Monday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, and a bowl of bran flakes with milk.
11am: Mary’s Gone Crackers with Cedar’s garlic hummus.
1:30pm: Leftover chicken tagine.
3pm: Tony’s milk chocolate.
6pm: Fusilli with kale, bacon, romano cheese, and lemon, made at home.
Onion, garlic, and dried chiltepin peppers in bacon fat, kale, lemon, fusilli, romano cheese mixed with pasta water, lot of black pepper, pat of butter
March 3, 2026 (Tuesday)
8am: Leftover coffee with half & half and a bowl of rice cereal with milk.
1pm: A slice of olive oil toasted La Farm sourdough with Cedar’s garlic hummus.
6:30pm: A spicy potato soft taco, a beefy potato loaded griller with slow roasted chicken, chips and nacho supreme dip, half of a chicken bacon ranch street chalupa, and a bite of a cheesy gordita crunch.
Dip gets hard real quick. Not enough nacho cheese. Mostly beans.
Street chalupa was great
Cheesy gordita crunch tasted like the early 2000s el paso gordita kit my mom would make
I need to get good at making flour tortillas at home. Last time I made them I cooked them too long and then were stiff
March 4, 2026 (Wednesday)
9am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home, and a leftover bean burrito with mild sauce from Taco Bell.
11:30pm: A small French fry from a McDonald’s in Virginia.
5pm: A pour of Black Shadows at Diamondback Brewing in Baltimore, Maryland.
6:30pm: A glass of Ronco Di Sassi Primito-Malbec, veal agnolotti, a ceasar salad, and a pour of Braulio amaro from Sotto Sopra in Baltimore.
MACdonalds plus giant Diet Coke that was too syrupy. So sad.
DUI enforcement area, 3-D Tigger, LINANA
Golden mixed fermentation / blend of four French oak aged barrels. Served as a 10oz. Yellow apples. Not too sour. Tried to order the whiskey pretzels but whoever makes them hasn’t delivered them in a while. For a brewery called diamondback in the harbor this was actually great and small. Wood fire pizza looked great and the girls who worked there were nice and friendly with everyone. Great vibes for a brewery. Bob Ross on the TV and some sort of money market reporting show on the other. There is a cat named inky which seems to be a thing here based on other brewery reviews I was reading.
Lyft Driver was on a phone call saying that she would initiate something with the police soon then yelled at Siri to play “Baby dont you keep breaking my heart” which was not working. Take a Bow by Madonna which sounds like a song that would play when you’ve stayed too long in the theater
Brian ate a frozen quart of egg drop soup leftover from the last time I went on a work trip and he accidentally ordered a gallon of soup
The Helmand was a bust due to a hotel mix up but the neighborhood was nice so I decided to stick around. Bromo Arts District.
Sotto Sopra is very 2004 Andrea bocelli music blaring. Sat at the bar near a pair of older gals. Wanted to do the prix fixe because it was a decent deal but I don’t want to deal with wasting food. I think my server was wasted. The song for children that they made us learn in Italian class is blasting. Gente di Mare. Vecchio Amaro del Capo.
Santa Maria al Monte https://amarobrooklyn.com/shop/product/caffo-vecchio-amaro-del-capo/56b1277375627526a81a0000?option-id=c29c1c0b58ba26ca7169c395550857d654c729343e65a57aa7ba2158094b48b0&srsltid=AfmBOorVLlTGmif_XHvuO2M578WLPdWjyIvpkGk6lW8tJTbyHGoz_08Z
March 5, 2026 (Thursday)
7:30am: A sausage, egg, and cheese on a garlic bagel with Texas Pete hot sauce and an iced coffee with half & half at THB Bagelry & Deli at Locust Point in Baltimore, Maryland.
8:30am: An iced red eye with half & half from Morning Mugs in Baltimore.
3pm: A crab cake, macaroni and cheese, and coleslaw from Faidley’s Seafood in Baltimore.
6:30pm: A cup of hotel room coffee with nondairy creamer.
8pm: Kaddo borwani, banjan borwani, aushak, mantwo, naan, chickpeas and cauliflower, lamb lawand, green chutney, Afghani ice cream, and a glass of Galactico Cabernet Sauvignon at The Helmand in Baltimore.
Locust point every building looks stupid except old brick row homes
Don't order an everything bagel at a work event
No pumpernickel bagels. Bagel was light and airy.
Music blasting: high high hopes for a living
The vast popularity of this song is what finally made me go insane and realize I had to exit a society I did not understand
I love you always forever near and far closer together techno remix. Seems to be a family owned local chain. Noodles and company vibes.
Guy behind the counter was desperately trying to give away an almond milk cookie dough latte that nobody would accept. He said I don’t blame you. I love a gruff union city.
Morning mugs was lively. Wedding party? The design concept was whack. Entrance to an office building and a barber shop. Faux grass wall with a neon love you latte in the Etsy shop font.
AWP: Michael Ian Black, Drill Press Press’s exhibit was just a table with loose lifesavers scattered all over it, no people. Another table with a paper plate with gummy worms on it. Box of Dunkin’ Donuts.
Faidley’s was great and the slaw reminded me of Saltbox. Mac and cheese was like original Boston chicken macaroni and cheese with tons of black pepper.
The Helmand restaurant was founded in December 1985 in Chicago (CLOSED) by Qayum Karzai along with his brother, Mahmood (Mahmud) Karzai. The brothers, who are siblings of former Afghan President Hamid Karzai, later opened the well-known Baltimore location in 1989. The restaurant is named after the longest river in Afghanistan. Also has a Cambridge location.
Kaddo borwani
Pan-fried and baked baby pumpkin seasoned with sugar and served on yogurt sauce
banjan borwani
Pan-fried eggplant seasoned with fresh tomatoes spice baked and served on yogurt garlic sauce.
Aushak
Afghan ravioli filled with leeks, served on yogurt-mint and topped with ground beef sauce
I think we also had the entree version of this with split yellow peas?
Mantwo
Homemade pastry shells filled with onions and beef, served on yogurt and topped with carrots, yellow split peas and beef sauce.
Naan
This was bad actually. Served with butter. Felt like made made for a panini where it comes already pressed and dry as hell.
Lamb Lawand
Boneless lamb slow cooked with fresh tomato, mushrooms, herb seasonings and finished with yogurt and sour cream. Served with sabzy (spinach) and challow.
Cauliflower & Chickpeas
Fresh cauliflower slow cooked with chickpeas, coriander, turmeric and spicy tomato sauce, served with challow rice
Afghani ice cream
Cardamom infused vanilla ice cream with dates, mango, and figs
A good application of sweet cardamom! Tasted like cinnamon
March 6, 2026 (Friday)
7:30am: A coffee with half & half and bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame bagel from Koba Cafe in Baltimore, Maryland.
11am: A large coffee with half & half from Dunkin Donuts in Baltimore.
3pm: A kabob from Habibi Shawarma in the Charles Towers Food Court in Baltimore and a can of botanical flavored Corpse Reviver.
4:30pm: A can of Ceremony Coffee Roasters Nitro Cold Brew Mass Appeal.
6pm: A can of Ceremony Coffee Roasters Nitro Cold Brew Guatemala Tres Gigantes.
8pm: Chicken strips with hot honey sauce and fries from a McDonald’s in Virginia.
Two-floor cafe playing reggae. The employee behind the counter had a shrine of himself in a window sill across the way with photos of himself crossing his arms and posing in front of ships in the harbor on pamphlets titled something like “reflections on my success” and “how I meditated to prominence”. What seemed to be like the owner was wandering around with customers showing them his orchids and plants. The upstairs was painted bright teal and yellow.
Adama was a part-time barista while he pursued a career in civil engineering, when he realized that his true passion was working with people. As the coffee shop continued to trust him with more responsibilities, he began to think about opening his own café. He wanted to create a respectful and welcoming space, centered around human connection. A café where people feel recognized and comfortable, as if they are in their own home. Everybody who walked into the cafe had a conversation about being grateful. Kind of feels like it doubles as a meditation center; a reflection center; or a cult.
Bagel was definitely bread in the shape of a bagel, crispy as hell
There was a case of the most random pastries including kouign-amann that looked like they were made out of Pillsbury roll dough
Overheard a customer saying they were traveling to Raleigh for St Patrick’s Day Pub crawl
Matriarch coffee had a line. Every coffee shop here has the whack est flavors
Old woman on a scooter blasted full speed into the booth next door and went under a table
Abandoned food court. Vietnamese, Jamaican. Amazing garlic toum sauce and some sort of red aioli. Fries looked anemic like in-n-out fries.
The cold brews tasted the same
Diet Coke was on point. Chicken strips taste like they’re from a grocery store. Took me a year to order off the screen
March 7, 2026 (Saturday)
9am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
12pm: Three dumplings and leftover pad Thai from Ni Asian Kitchen in Raleigh, North Carolina.
2:30pm: A bowl of rice cereal with milk.
4pm: A can of Good Mood passionfruit mango kombucha.
5pm: Tony’s milk chocolate.
7pm: Leftover Malaysian rendang with white rice from Ni’s Asian Kitchen.
8pm: Tony’s white chocolate.
More of a reddish coconut curry with some beef, one piece of tofu, a ton of string beans, and onions.
March 8, 2026 (Sunday)
10am: Little Waves coffee with half & half, made at home.
12:30pm: Food Lion spicy chicken tenders with leftover Sonic ranch and BBQ sauce.
2pm: Milton’s everything crackers.
5pm: Tony’s white chocolate.
6:30pm: Beef stroganoff over egg noodles, made at home.
Bitter Breakfast
Food Lion tenders are far superior to MACdonalds.
Beef Stroganoff
Should have used chives; ate this while watching two Bocuse d’Or winners compete on America’s Culinary Cup to make their version of beef stroganoff. The guy who made classic beef stroganoff won
Recipe
2 TB olive oil
2 small packages white mushrooms
4 TB butter
2 small chuck steaks
1 yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
2 TB flour
Water (couldn’t buy wine because it was before noon on a Sunday)
1 TB Edmond Fallot grain mustard
1 tsp Chicken bouillon powder
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 container Kalona French onion dip
½ cup minced parsley