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Your children do not just hear what you say. They can also sense your stress, anxiety, and emotional state. So how can parents regulate themselves before that stress spreads throughout the family?
Your children do not just hear what you say. They can also sense your stress, anxiety, and emotional state. So how can parents regulate themselves before that stress spreads throughout the family?
In this episode of hol+ with Dr. Taz MD, New York Times bestselling author Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt opens up about the anxiety and overwhelm that can come with modern motherhood. She explains how learning about co-regulation changed the way she responds to tantrums, meltdowns, running late, and other stressful parenting moments.
Katherine shares how introducing meditation into her morning routine helped her feel calmer, become less reactive, and better handle whatever the day brings. She emphasizes that the solution will look different for every parent, whether it involves meditation, walking, exercising, asking for help, or simply creating a few quiet moments before the day begins.
Dr. Taz and Katherine also discuss:
• Why children often absorb and respond to their parents’ stress
• How regulating your own nervous system can help your children feel safer
• Why today’s parents may feel more anxious and overwhelmed
• The importance of asking for help instead of trying to do everything alone
• How grandparents can provide connection, support, and stability
• Staying connected with your partner when traditional date nights are difficult
• Why clear communication matters when dividing parenting responsibilities
• Katherine’s experience with postpartum anxiety during the pandemic
• How Ayurvedic practices supported her postpartum recovery
• Preparing older children and the wider family for a new baby
• How regulating your own nervous system can help your children feel safer
• Why today’s parents may feel more anxious and overwhelmed
• The importance of asking for help instead of trying to do everything alone
• How grandparents can provide connection, support, and stability
• Staying connected with your partner when traditional date nights are difficult
• Why clear communication matters when dividing parenting responsibilities
• Katherine’s experience with postpartum anxiety during the pandemic
• How Ayurvedic practices supported her postpartum recovery
• Preparing older children and the wider family for a new baby
Katherine also shares how she and her husband, Chris Pratt, navigate parenting as a team. Rather than expecting each other to instinctively know what is needed, they focus on honest communication, regular check-ins, and clearly asking for support.
If parenting sometimes leaves you feeling overstimulated, anxious, or stretched beyond your limits, this conversation is a reminder that you do not need to be a perfect parent. Finding your own calm, accepting help, and reconnecting with the people around you can create a positive ripple effect throughout your family.
About Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt:
Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt is a New York Times bestselling author, animal advocate, and mother. She is an ambassador for Best Friends Animal Society and the ASPCA and a global ambassador for Special Olympics. Through her books, interviews, and BDA Baby platform, Katherine explores motherhood, pregnancy, family relationships, wellness, and the experiences that connect parents across different stages of life.
Connect with Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt:
About Dr. Taz:
Dr. Tasneem Bhatia (Dr. Taz) is a triple board-certified integrative medicine physician, bestselling author, and founder of hol+, a multi-location integrative medicine practice.
Learn more: https://doctortaz.com/about
Stay Connected:
Connect further with hol+ at https://holplus.co/ and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on future episodes of hol+.
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Produced by https://ClipGrowth.com (Producer: Pat Gostek)
Creators and Guests
Host
What is hol+ with Dr. Taz MD | The Future of Medicine is Holistic?
hol+ with Dr. Taz MD is redefining modern medicine through a comprehensive, evidence-based holistic approach; integrating functional medicine, integrative medicine, and time-tested healing systems to treat the whole human, not just symptoms.
Hosted by Dr. Tasneem Bhatia (Dr. Taz), triple board-certified physician in integrative, functional, and holistic medicine, bestselling Penguin Random House author, and founder of hol+; a comprehensive evidence-based holistic medicine platform with clinics in Atlanta, New York City, and Los Angeles, and virtual care available nationwide.
At the heart of hol+ is a revolutionary framework: the Five Body Map- physical, mental, emotional, energetic, and social/community bodies that create whole health. This whole-human approach connects hormone imbalances, gut dysfunction, microinflammation, cortisol dysregulation, metabolic disease, autoimmune conditions, perimenopause, and stress-driven illness to the full spectrum of who we are; body, mind, and spirit.
Each episode explores Dr. Taz’s original clinical frameworks ;The Cortisol Loop, Microinflammation, and The Invisible Load alongside conversations with leading experts, celebrities, and thought leaders including Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, Katherine Schwarzenegger, Cameron Mathison, Carol Alt, Jane Seymour, Tamsen Fadal, and Kris Carr.
Topics include hormone health, gut health, GLP-1 and metabolic therapy, thyroid dysfunction, weight loss, inflammation, autoimmune disease, mental and emotional wellness, energetic health, and the future of holistic medicine.
This is the show where science and spirit converge- driving health, happiness, relationships, and family ecosystems.
Want to go deeper? Join Dr. Taz’s private community, the hol+ Circle ; medicine beyond the exam room. (holplus.co/circle)
A 2025 Webby Award honoree, recognized alongside the Mel Robbins Podcast in the 29th Annual Webby Awards, hol+ is built on the foundation of Super Woman Wellness, which surpassed 1 million downloads over 8 years.
This is medicine beyond the exam room. Welcome to hol+
[00:00:00] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Finding a way to find my own calm and that it has [00:00:05] a ripple effect on being beneficial for my whole family, whether it's for my kids, for my [00:00:10] husband, for me as a very pregnant woman right now. Like, I think [00:00:15] that prioritizing my calm energy and my ability to [00:00:20] be in a place of as much calm as possible to co-regulate with my kids for whatever is thrown [00:00:25] at me throughout the day, if it's a temper tantrum, if it's a meltdown, if it's a- Right, right
[00:00:29] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: you know, we're [00:00:30] running late for something, if it's something doesn't go the way that we want it to, I feel that I'm [00:00:35] much better equipped and prepared to flow with those things. Deal with that, yeah. Yeah, now.
[00:00:39] Dr. Taz: [00:00:40] A part of my mission with this show, HolPlus, is to really stress the [00:00:45] importance of a healthy family unit, and how when one person in a family is [00:00:50] off, the entire family actually gets thrown off.
[00:00:53] Dr. Taz: You can't have a whole family. [00:00:55] Well, Katherine Schwarzenegger and I have had many discussions around this concept [00:01:00] of whole families, and believe it or not, she's actually my next guest. [00:01:05] Please join me in welcoming Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, a New York Times [00:01:10] bestselling author, an animal advocate, and a devoted wife and mother.
[00:01:13] Dr. Taz: As an ambassador for Best [00:01:15] Friends Animal Society and the ASPCA, she passionately raises awareness for [00:01:20] animal rescue. She's also a global ambassador for Special Olympics and [00:01:25] empowering others through her writing. In 2021, she launched BDA Baby, a [00:01:30] popular Instagram Live series discussing pregnancy and wellness, now available [00:01:35] in YouTube and podcast.
[00:01:36] Dr. Taz: Her second children's book, Good Night, Sister, released in [00:01:40] February 2023, explores the special bond between sisters. Katherine resides in [00:01:45] LA with her family, and
[00:01:46] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: she is here today on HolPlus. Welcome, Katherine. [00:01:50]
[00:01:50] Dr. Taz: Thank you so much for being on this show. I'm so excited to talk to you about [00:01:55] all these things.
[00:01:56] Dr. Taz: Yeah. But let's just jump right into it. So Kathryn, I was [00:02:00] actually scrolling this weekend, and my eye caught, it's so ironic that we're doing this today, but [00:02:05] my eye caught, uh, a little clip of something that I've really, really believed in, and it was [00:02:10] talking about the fact that grandmothers influence their [00:02:15] granddaughters and grandsons so greatly to the point that their DNA is often [00:02:20] imprinted upon them and influencing them far into their adult years and beyond.
[00:02:24] Dr. Taz: [00:02:25] And back in, I think, 2017, 2018, I actually did a TED Talk talking about the fact [00:02:30] that the maternal line of inheritance is so important. In fact, the mitochondrial [00:02:35] DNA transfers grandmother to, to mom, to grandchild [00:02:40] intact, often without being, you know, messed with very much. So the thoughts and [00:02:45] feelings and the emotions of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers we're often carrying with us.
[00:02:49] Dr. Taz: And [00:02:50] ironically, we are talking today about- ... The Grandmother Project. So- Yeah ... [00:02:55] universe is something. So I wanna know more about why you [00:03:00] started this. What was your, you know, motivation or incentive, [00:03:05] uh, you know, to start this type of project, and sort of what's come of it as you've dug in? [00:03:10]
[00:03:10] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, well, The Grandmother Project was something that we did in honor of Mother's Day, so [00:03:15] my mom and I did it, um, together, and it was [00:03:20] really- interesting and fun, and we basically just wanted to do [00:03:25] it to dive into all of the dynamics of [00:03:30] grandmotherhood and motherhood together.
[00:03:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And, you know, my mom and [00:03:35] I are both in these new chapters of life where I'm a mom. Mm-hmm. [00:03:40] Um, I'm four years into being a mom, and she's four years into being a grandmother. And, [00:03:45] uh, and so we're both kind of in these new spaces that we're [00:03:50] navigating and, uh, and experiencing together. And [00:03:55] it's been such an amazing experience, and also learning from so many other people's dynamics of, [00:04:00] like, what to do and what not to do - Yeah, definitely
[00:04:03] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: uh, within the [00:04:05] grandmother and mother dynamic, and also the in-laws, and just, like so [00:04:10] many different, uh, ways to, you know, experience motherhood [00:04:15] and grandmotherhood. And, um, so it was a really interesting experience to be able to [00:04:20] interview so many mothers and daughters, and also, um, [00:04:25] mothers with mother-in-laws, and just to talk about the varying [00:04:30] dynamics in, uh, families and in households and, of course, how that [00:04:35] impacts raising our children, and especially now how people are [00:04:40] leaning on their grandparents, their kids' grandparents, so much for childcare [00:04:45] because everything- Definitely
[00:04:45] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: is so expensive and-
[00:04:46] Dr. Taz: Yeah ...
[00:04:47] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: um, so we, we had a great time doing it. My mom [00:04:50] and I are super close, so it was really fun for us to be able to do together, and also to just learn from so many [00:04:55] different dynamics and, uh- Yeah ... be able to, to walk away and talk [00:05:00] about that was really great.
[00:05:01] Dr. Taz: Is there something that you guys came away from?
[00:05:03] Dr. Taz: Like, we had [00:05:05] my, my husband's mom live with us, you know, once for about 10 years or so until her [00:05:10] death, and, um, it was really special the bond that she had with my children. That's not [00:05:15] something that I had. Like, my grandparents were in another country. I never really had that sort of [00:05:20] bond or relationship with them.
[00:05:21] Dr. Taz: But, you know, is there something, I'm curious, that came out as a universal [00:05:25] truth? Like, you know, what, what is the role of the grandmother? You know, [00:05:30] where, where is that a value when we think of parenting in general? Which we're gonna talk about parenting in just a [00:05:35] minute, but, but that's the whole sticky situation in today's culture, you know, period, in [00:05:40] terms of navigating all, all the things that come with parenting.
[00:05:42] Dr. Taz: What is the grandmother's modern-day [00:05:45] role?
[00:05:46] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I mean, I think it changes really for every single family and every [00:05:50] dynamic because everybody has such a different and unique setup. Some people have their grandparents live with [00:05:55] them, uh, their kids' grandparents live with them. Other people, you know, have them in different countries.
[00:05:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: [00:06:00] I grew up with my grandma coming to visit us quite a lot, but-- or [00:06:05] us going to visit her as well. But she lived across the country, so I didn't see her as [00:06:10] much. And the idea that both of my girls are growing up with their grandparents being five minutes [00:06:15] away from them and seeing them, you know, multiple times a week, being able [00:06:20] to have special days with them, being able to have dinners and lunches and, you [00:06:25] know, have them come to different activities with them is such a huge gift, and [00:06:30] it's not one that I take for granted at all because it's something that I I know [00:06:35] how lucky I am to be able to have that, and also just that support.
[00:06:38] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: So if I'm, [00:06:40] you know, unable to pick up my daughters- Yeah ... from school- Such a relief ... my mom picks her up. [00:06:45] Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely an incredible blessing to be able to have the close [00:06:50] proximity to my mom and to my dad. Um, and just to be able to have [00:06:55] their involvement in my kids' lives is such a huge game changer.
[00:06:57] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I think also, you know, [00:07:00] we talk a lot about just the time that kids spend [00:07:05] with their grandparents, and being able to learn from those experiences and the stories that they hear from their [00:07:10] grandparents is something that you can't get anywhere else. You can't get that- That's true ... in school. You can't [00:07:15] get that, you know, in any classes.
[00:07:16] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: So that relationship and that [00:07:20] bond and those lessons and, um, and experiences that my kids have [00:07:25] had and will continue to be able to have with their grandparents is such a huge gift. So [00:07:30] I mean, I think that it, the, the kind of universal takeaway is really what a gift [00:07:35] that is, and also the, the fact that- Mm-hmm
[00:07:37] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: this generation of- Love it ... parenting is [00:07:40] really going back to really leaning on [00:07:45] grandparents as caretakers and people to be heavily involved in their kids' lives. I [00:07:50] think there was, you know, a period of time where people didn't [00:07:55] necessarily do that. Right. And we're going back to that kind of how we were originally designed to live, people [00:08:00] living together in close proximity.
[00:08:02] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, and, uh, that's how as, like, [00:08:05] human beings we're meant to live, and also to, uh, expand [00:08:10] families in that way. So it's, it's a huge gift to be able to do that.
[00:08:14] Dr. Taz: I think that's so [00:08:15] true. I think that it's been a little bit, I wanna say, almost a failed experiment of the nuclear [00:08:20] isolated family. Mm-hmm. And there's been so much stress and disease and illness associated with trying to [00:08:25] sustain that.
[00:08:25] Dr. Taz: You know, what, you know- Right ... as you talk to your friends and young women [00:08:30] who are starting families and things like that, I know what I see in the exam room, but, like, what is, what is their experience of [00:08:35] parenting like today? You know, do f- people feel like it is less stressful [00:08:40] maybe than what people went through a decade ago or two decades ago?
[00:08:44] Dr. Taz: Or, [00:08:45] you know, are young parents today just really struggling in terms of trying to keep, uh, you know, keeping all the balls in the [00:08:50] air?
[00:08:51] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I mean, I would say that I feel like our, [00:08:55] like my generation of parents seem to be much more anxious and stressed out, [00:09:00] and I think my, my mom and the other [00:09:05] grandparents that are around our kids say the same thing.
[00:09:08] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, they are like, "You [00:09:10] guys are so, you know, like you have so much to worry about. You have so much [00:09:15] to think about." It's, you know, there are amazing things that come from [00:09:20] raising kids in this day and age, and there are also, uh, the other [00:09:25] side of it is being like ama- information overload and- Right ... um, [00:09:30] just too much to think about, too much to worry about, um, too much to be [00:09:35] aware of, which, you know, is comes with like a blessing and a curse with social media.
[00:09:38] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: So-
[00:09:39] Dr. Taz: Yeah ...
[00:09:39] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I, [00:09:40] I think that, uh, if I had to like group in the overall [00:09:45] feeling of how people are feeling that are raising kids right now, I feel like [00:09:50] they feel like they're anxious, [00:09:55] and also, um, you know, like the nervous systems are [00:10:00] not necessarily in a great place. Um, and I really felt that honestly [00:10:05] this summer in myself.
[00:10:07] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I felt like I was at a point [00:10:10] where I, you know, over the summer was, whatever, seven months pregnant, [00:10:15] and I was like, I have, you know, a, I had a three and a half year old and [00:10:20] a two-year-old over the summer and, and pregnant. And so I felt like I was kind of [00:10:25] on this edge of, you know, being anxious all the time, and it [00:10:30] wasn't benefiting my nervous system or the nervous system that I was able to [00:10:35] have to co-regulate with my kids.
[00:10:37] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And so I started, um, [00:10:40] implementing meditation into my routine every single morning, and I have [00:10:45] noticed such a dramatic difference in myself- Wow ... and also how [00:10:50] I interact with my kids and just, like, how I parent, um, [00:10:55] that I really-- It's been so incredible and life-changing for me to be able to [00:11:00] have more calm-
[00:11:02] Dr. Taz: Mm-hmm
[00:11:02] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: in my life. And, [00:11:05] um, I've noticed it just impact my parenting and my relationships with [00:11:10] everyone, and especially my relationships with my kids, um, and just, like, [00:11:15] the ability that I have to kind of, like, flow- Yeah ... much easier. [00:11:20] So that's been something that's really helpful for me. But I think prior to that, [00:11:25] the kind of on edge or, um- Yeah
[00:11:28] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: nervous system being [00:11:30] frantic was definitely something I, I felt.
[00:11:33] Dr. Taz: Well, that frantic nervous system, [00:11:35] you know, one of the things they talk about in Chinese medicine is that the health of the mom and the child go together. They're [00:11:40] linked up. You can't separate the two. And what we're seeing in research now is that children's [00:11:45] mental health and their stress is impacted by stress in the family, and then the stress that the [00:11:50] mother perceives.
[00:11:50] Dr. Taz: It's such an important piece of the puzzle. So, you know, finding [00:11:55] opportunities to tone your cortisol levels down or calm your nervous system [00:12:00] down is so important in this whole game of parenting. You talked about meditation. [00:12:05] You know, what are three ways you think that- young moms, new moms, [00:12:10] you know, no matter what age or stage they're entering parenting, and I remember those early years.
[00:12:14] Dr. Taz: They're super [00:12:15] stressful. You're adjusting to being a new mom. You're running between a career. Mine were 15 months [00:12:20] apart, and I started the practice at the same time. You know, it was complete chaos, you know?
[00:12:24] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah.
[00:12:24] Dr. Taz: [00:12:25] So, you know, as I look back, I'm like, "Why?" You know, "Why did [00:12:30] we sign up for all of that at one time?"
[00:12:31] Dr. Taz: You know, so there was a little bit of like maybe we should have been a little bit more [00:12:35] methodical about it, spaced things out a little bit better, but things happen as they happen. You [00:12:40] know, what would you tell a mom listening today who's feeling that, who's just feeling [00:12:45] like there's too much on their plate, they can't catch a breath, they don't have time to feed themselves, you know, they, they, they're [00:12:50] not sleeping?
[00:12:51] Dr. Taz: You know, where should they start in this game of parenting to [00:12:55] really start to center and bring that sense of calm to the family?
[00:12:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I mean, I'm definitely not an [00:13:00] expert in that. I, I would say that, um, what's worked for me is [00:13:05] finding a way to find my own calm and [00:13:10] that it has a ripple effect on being beneficial for my whole family, [00:13:15] whether it's for my kids, for my husband, for, um, me as a very [00:13:20] pregnant woman right now.
[00:13:21] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Right. Like, I, um, I think that [00:13:25] making that a priority for me and having that be a priority in my [00:13:30] daily practice is, has been hugely [00:13:35] beneficial for me. I learned a lot about the importance of [00:13:40] Being calm and regulating our nervous system [00:13:45] because our kids co-regulate from us- With us ... and with us.
[00:13:48] Dr. Taz: Yeah.
[00:13:48] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, so [00:13:50] when I learned about that, it sounds like it's so simple and [00:13:55] straightforward, but when I really learned about the benefits of that and [00:14:00] having the parent be in a, you know, as calm [00:14:05] as possible place to- Mm-hmm
[00:14:06] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: co-regulate with their kids, that the benefits of [00:14:10] that are incredible. And, um, and really [00:14:15] finding whatever that looks like for you. If it's meditation, if it's, you know, um, [00:14:20] going on a walk, if it's exercising, whatever that looks like as being a helpful [00:14:25] thing to implement into your daily routine. And, you know, it's [00:14:30] definitely not easy to do.
[00:14:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Right. Like, I wake up now at 5:00 in the morning just to [00:14:35] make sure that I can get my meditation in in the morning before [00:14:40] my kids wake up, and that I have that as a way to start my day before I have coffee, [00:14:45] before I look at my phone. Like, I... It- it's... You know, I, I wake up [00:14:50] early to make sure that that's something that happens in my day.
[00:14:53] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, but I [00:14:55] think that everybody has to do what works for them. For me, I've definitely noticed that [00:15:00] prioritizing my calm energy and my ability [00:15:05] to be in a place of, of as much calm as possible to co-regulate with [00:15:10] my kids for whatever is thrown at me throughout the day, if it's a temper tantrum, if it's a meltdown, if [00:15:15] it's a- Right,
[00:15:15] Dr. Taz: right
[00:15:16] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: uh, you know, we're running late for something, if it's something doesn't go the [00:15:20] way that we want it to, I feel that I'm much better equipped and prepared [00:15:25] to flow with those things. Deal with that,
[00:15:26] Dr. Taz: yeah.
[00:15:27] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah. Now.
[00:15:28] Dr. Taz: I love that, uh, that [00:15:30] word, actually. I love that word and that idea of co-regulation, that we're sort of cor- co-regulating with their, with our [00:15:35] children, you know, in any given moment, because they really are reading our energy.
[00:15:38] Dr. Taz: And, you know, my daughter is such [00:15:40] a feeler and so sensitive. Like, before I say a word, she kinda knows what's going [00:15:45] on with me, and she'll react to that. Yeah. And then I'm reacting to whatever she's reacting to. So, so anyhow, [00:15:50] it's just so interesting to establish that cadence. You know, one of the things, too, and I've often [00:15:55] said this, is that in the journey of being a new mom and raising children and starting this family, [00:16:00] the dads get depressed.
[00:16:01] Dr. Taz: You know, I don't know if you've seen that in your conversations with your guest [00:16:05] or, you know, amongst your friends and things like that, but the dads sometimes will feel like they're on the outside of it, [00:16:10] and then they're sort of dealing with this new person, this mom, [00:16:15] who is, you know, sometimes struggling with all the responsibilities on her plate.
[00:16:18] Dr. Taz: You know, how, [00:16:20] how do we help our partners, you know, in this journey of parenting? [00:16:25] And how do we do things like keep the actual relationship with our partners [00:16:30] and kind of the romance alive as we are, you know, again, kind of, you know, really [00:16:35] feeling like we're stretched and being pulled in multiple different directions?
[00:16:39] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I feel like that's [00:16:40] something I'm definitely still learning. I think I g- I grew up with, um, my [00:16:45] parents definitely having their own individual [00:16:50] roles with parenting and how, um, and what they were kind of in [00:16:55] charge of with us kids. I would say that with, [00:17:00] uh, Chris and I, we have, from the very beginning, [00:17:05] open communication and dialogue has been, like, the foundation in, in addition to, [00:17:10] um- Mm-hmm
[00:17:10] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: other things. But it's been a huge priority for us to [00:17:15] just be open with one another and communicate with one another and [00:17:20] be able to check in. Um, we're very honest with each other, so if I [00:17:25] seem like I'm frazzled or stressed out or, like- Yeah ... maxed out-
[00:17:28] Dr. Taz: Mm-hmm ...
[00:17:29] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: he'll say, [00:17:30] he'll say to me, like, "Hey, what can I do to help here?
[00:17:34] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: What can I do?" And [00:17:35] I'm always, you know, I am the oldest in my family, so I'm very- Right ... much like, "I have to [00:17:40] do it all myself." Yep. "Don't, nobody can help me."
[00:17:42] Dr. Taz: No one can
[00:17:43] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: help me. Yep. No one can help me. [00:17:45] Um, and I really learned, you know, through being a mom and also [00:17:50] being in a relationship th- like the one that I'm in, that [00:17:55] it's okay to ask for help.
[00:17:56] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: It's okay. You have to be clear about that. That's really, really [00:18:00] helpful for relationships is to say, like, "Hey, this is, this is what [00:18:05] you can help with, and this is what I can help with," and, um, being [00:18:10] open about that dialogue, not assuming people can read your mind. That was another big thing for me- [00:18:15] Right, right
[00:18:15] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: is, like, I would assume, like, you know exactly what-
[00:18:19] Dr. Taz: Yes ...
[00:18:19] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: [00:18:20] I need here or what. And it's like, no, they, you know, no he doesn't, or [00:18:25] no, uh, in a relationship, they don't know what, what necessarily to do. So being able to [00:18:30] have open communication and say, like, "This is a space that you can really help me in [00:18:35] as a parent.
[00:18:35] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: This is a space as a partner you can really help me in," or, um, you know, [00:18:40] "Here is, uh, a variety of different ways that I need more support [00:18:45] and I need more help in this space." So I, I think that for me, being able [00:18:50] to be comfortable asking for help, comfortable being open, [00:18:55] um, and just knowing that, like, you know, when I look at Chris and I [00:19:00] at the end of the day, we're on the same team.
[00:19:02] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, we both- Right ... want to raise- [00:19:05] well-rounded, good human beings as children that [00:19:10] are healthy and happy, and that's both of our goal. And so being in a place where we're [00:19:15] butting heads is not helpful for anybody. And we [00:19:20] both have the same goal every single day and the same intention, and we have the same [00:19:25] values.
[00:19:25] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And so remembering that even when you are maxed out [00:19:30] on your nervous system or you feel, like, overwhelmed in parenting, which happens a [00:19:35] lot, just keeping that in mind. Like, we're on the same team. We're, you know, [00:19:40] check in with each other, make an effort to make that time. Um, and [00:19:45] it doesn't have to look like a date night.
[00:19:46] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I would love to say that every single week we make sure- Right ... that we go on a [00:19:50] date night. I, you know, and I know date nights are really important, but they just don't happen [00:19:55] every week because life happens. Right. Very much. So finding other ways to connect and to stay connected is really important, if that's going on a walk, a hike, if it's, you [00:20:00] know-[00:20:05]
[00:20:07] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: putting your phones away after you get the kids to [00:20:10] sleep and just, like, sitting and connecting with one another and talking, that's another great thing to do. So, like, [00:20:15] there's a variety of different ways that, that, you know, if you can't make date night [00:20:20] happen to connect, that you can make other ways-
[00:20:21] Dr. Taz: Very much
[00:20:22] Dr. Taz: um- You know, I remember my husband asked me a question. He [00:20:25] was like, "Why are women always on their phones at every traffic light?" And I'm like, [00:20:30] I, because they're overburdened, you know? Mm-hmm. They have so much to do, and usually so many different [00:20:35] logistics to plan for different members of the family, so usually they're just trying to get one more thing done [00:20:40] and off their list.
[00:20:41] Dr. Taz: And I think one of the things that I noticed with myself, and even with many [00:20:45] of my patients, is that they were losing the connection to their partners because they were so [00:20:50] busy getting their to-do lists done. Mm-hmm. And it's taken me a little bit of maturity and understanding, [00:20:55] like, it's okay. Put the phones away.
[00:20:56] Dr. Taz: There should be at least 15 to 20 minutes [00:21:00] daily, if not more, where you're looking at each other, speaking to each other. You're not [00:21:05] scrolling, you know? And sometimes that's worth way more than a, a date night at a [00:21:10] restaurant that you, you know, that- For sure ... takes a lot of planning and logistics and all that other stuff, especially with, you [00:21:15] know, younger children.
[00:21:15] Dr. Taz: So I think that's such a thing. And then the whole thing of, "I got [00:21:20] this. I can do it myself," so many women fall into that. Why? Yeah. Why is that? Like, [00:21:25] I'm not- I- ... gonna hire help. I'm not gonna ask for help, you know? So all of those things.
[00:21:27] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah. I mean, I, I honestly [00:21:30] feel like it's just being the oldest for me.
[00:21:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I feel like I- Yeah ... always, like, I [00:21:35] always pride myself and I'm like, "I got this. I can do it. I can do..." Yeah. Like, "I'm gonna do this to myself. I'm [00:21:40] gonna do..." And my sister actually, my sister is a year and a half younger than me, and I remember [00:21:45] when I was... I think I was, my last pregnancy, I was [00:21:50] carrying, I was very pregnant with Eloise, and I was carrying Lila and the diaper [00:21:55] bag and my purse and, like, this other bag, and she's like, "Let me help you."
[00:21:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And I was like, "No, no, no. It's [00:22:00] fine. I got it." And she was like, "Katherine, you don't- ... you don't need to [00:22:05] prove anything to me. Like, I know you're strong. I know you're capable. Let me help you carry this [00:22:10] stuff to your car." And I was like, "Ugh, fine." Like I... But it's like, you know- [00:22:15] Until you have someone who can, you know, give it to you straight and just be like, "There's nothing [00:22:20] you, you don't need to do this."
[00:22:21] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Right. Like, "I can, I can help you. It's okay. You're still [00:22:25] just as strong and capable as you were before. You let me help you." Like, you know, [00:22:30] it's a, it's a different m- mentality and mindset, but it's definitely, you know, it's [00:22:35] true.
[00:22:35] Dr. Taz: Definitely important, and, and if it's your blind spot, remember, like, to [00:22:40] kinda, to see past it, because I think so many people get into trouble, so many new moms get into trouble with [00:22:45] that.
[00:22:45] Dr. Taz: You know, you are, what, eight months? How, how pregnant are you right now?
[00:22:49] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Oh, no. [00:22:50] Right now I'm, you know, I am, like, I could go into labor while I'm on this call- Oh, my goodness ... with [00:22:55] you right
[00:22:55] Dr. Taz: now. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for being here.
[00:22:59] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Ideally, [00:23:00] ideally we wouldn't have that happen. I know.
[00:23:01] Dr. Taz: Oh, wow. And this is your, this is your third, right?
[00:23:03] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Third baby. This is, yeah, this is my [00:23:05] third baby, and I don't know, um, [00:23:10] I don't know what I'm having, and it's really exciting. It's, [00:23:15] like, a surprise that I feel like nobody who knows me, everybody who [00:23:20] knows me knows that I like to plan and then, like- Right ... know every, as much information as [00:23:25] possible. So the fact that I don't know if I'm having a boy or a girl stresses everyone out around [00:23:30] me.
[00:23:30] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, but I feel very, like, you know, excited and good [00:23:35] about it. So I think, um, yeah, I'm like, you know, I'm [00:23:40] full-term, ready to have a baby, and embracing the [00:23:45] The time of what that will bring, and also understanding that, [00:23:50] like, the newborn days are a little crazy, and I have- They're
[00:23:53] Dr. Taz: crazy ...
[00:23:54] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: two, [00:23:55] I have two, uh, toddlers that I'm also like, you know, they're gonna go through [00:24:00] their own adjustment period and, you know, everybody's gonna [00:24:05] go through a new, uh, a moment of trying to find their [00:24:10] groove, and being aware of that and comfortable with it, as [00:24:15] comfortable as I can be with it.
[00:24:16] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And, um, also always remembering that, like, [00:24:20] I'm... My siblings are my best friends- Mm-hmm ... and I'm the oldest of [00:24:25] four, and we have a similar age spacing in my [00:24:30] family as, um, as our kids are. And so I always try to remember, like, [00:24:35] any time I think, "My God, my," you know, "my two oldest are gonna feel like I'm [00:24:40] neglecting them," or I'm like, you know, I'm like, I never felt that with my mom.
[00:24:44] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I never felt- [00:24:45]
[00:24:45] Dr. Taz: No. Yeah ...
[00:24:45] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I never felt... And my mom is, you know, the best mom in the entire world, and [00:24:50] just does every- Love that. Yeah ... like, she's, like, insane. But, um, I try [00:24:55] to remember that a lot, 'cause it's always like, I think parents go back and forth with like, this is [00:25:00] really exciting, and then also feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm not gonna be able to give my kids- Not doing enough.
[00:25:04] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah ... the [00:25:05] same attention. Yeah. Um, but yeah. So I'm [00:25:10] excited. We'll see.
[00:25:10] Dr. Taz: I'm excited for you. So there's something I've gotta ask, is there something you did this [00:25:15] pregnancy to prepare for the postpartum period, or during the pregnancy that was different from the other [00:25:20] ones, or not necessarily?
[00:25:22] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: You know, my first, uh, my first [00:25:25] pregnancy and postpartum was, like, in the thick of COVID, so I literally did nothing.
[00:25:29] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Like, I, [00:25:30] um, I stayed home, I was by myself, I was isolated. I definitely [00:25:35] experienced a lot of, like, postpartum anxiety my first, uh, after my first daughter, [00:25:40] Lyla, was born, and it was, like, anxiety about, you know, getting sick, about [00:25:45] h- you know, making sure that I didn't do anything to, um, [00:25:50] you know, risk my health or her health.
[00:25:52] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I was by myself a lot, so I felt very lonely [00:25:55] and isolated in that space, 'cause even though my family was 10 minutes away from me, you couldn't [00:26:00] see anybody until they were tested- Mm-hmm ... or in a quarantine. So it was a very [00:26:05] challenging postpartum. Um, my second, I would say, was [00:26:10] much... It was still in COVID times, but it was, you had the ability to, like, know a little [00:26:15] bit more about- Um, how to keep each other safe, and I really leaned on [00:26:20] my family in that time, and that was amazing.
[00:26:23] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: I also introduced [00:26:25] a lot of the kind of, um, Ayurvedic, uh, [00:26:30] philosophies about healing postpartum- Mm-hmm. I love that ... um, with my second, [00:26:35] uh, after Eloise was born. And that, to me, was, like, [00:26:40] dramatically impactful with my hormones-
[00:26:43] Dr. Taz: Wow ...
[00:26:43] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: and my healing [00:26:45] process. And I I really, like, [00:26:50] for me this time as, uh, doing it a third time, I fully intend on doing the [00:26:55] same, you know, warming foods and nourishing foods.
[00:26:58] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And I breastfed both my [00:27:00] girls for 15 months, and I really, for me, it was like about [00:27:05] healing myself from the inside out and being, you know, [00:27:10] very present with my newborn, but also understanding that [00:27:15] your body just spent 40 weeks growing a human- Yes ... and [00:27:20] also an entire organ, and then you, you know, have both of those leave your [00:27:25] body, and that that takes time to, you know, to [00:27:30] heal and recover from.
[00:27:31] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: And feeding your body and nourishing your body and taking care of [00:27:35] your body is, is an amazing way to do that. And obviously, you don't [00:27:40] get enough sleep. You don't get, you know, you don't drink enough water. You don't eat enough food. But doing it where you [00:27:45] can and setting yourself up in advance was helpful for me last time, and I've tried to do [00:27:50] that as much as I can this time.
[00:27:51] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Um, and then there's parts of it that I'm just like, "I don't even know," because I've [00:27:55] never had two kids that are in a bunch of activities [00:28:00] and- Right ... also have a newborn. So I'm kind of... That part of it I'm unknown about. But I would [00:28:05] say that I'm setting myself up this time [00:28:10] to have my girls fully, you know, [00:28:15] um, entertained and occupied by my mom and sister
[00:28:19] Dr. Taz: Amazing.[00:28:20]
[00:28:20] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: as much as possible. And then, um, also have myself set up [00:28:25] and, uh, cared for as much as possible going into it as I [00:28:30] can.
[00:28:30] Dr. Taz: I love that you mention that. You know that I am a champion of bringing [00:28:35] these Eastern sort of practices- Yes ... whether it's Ayurveda or Chinese medicine, into the healing [00:28:40] picture, because I think we don't honor, you know, a lot of what needs to happen when we're [00:28:45] raising children, bearing children, all of the above.
[00:28:47] Dr. Taz: And so both systems of [00:28:50] medicine, every Eastern system of medicine I've ever looked at, talks about that six weeks or [00:28:55] those 40 days of really needing to heal, nourish your gut, nourish your liver, [00:29:00] you know, get in the, as many nutrients and vitamins, and be supported by all- Mm-hmm ... the people [00:29:05] around you, and ask for that support.
[00:29:07] Dr. Taz: So I'm so glad that you are on that path. That is my [00:29:10] passion- Yay ... and my mission. I love it. So and I'm wishing you so much luck. I know, I know, um, [00:29:15] we're, we're short on time today, but I can't wait to hear how everything [00:29:20] goes and to even- Thank you ... see your little one. I'm so excited for you, and definitely wanna be [00:29:25] supportive of your journey as well.
[00:29:26] Dr. Taz: But before you leave us, I have to ask you this question. [00:29:30]
[00:29:30] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yes.
[00:29:30] Dr. Taz: What makes you whole?
[00:29:34] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: My family, [00:29:35]
[00:29:35] Dr. Taz: for
[00:29:35] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: sure
[00:29:35] Dr. Taz: Oh, I love that
[00:29:36] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Yeah Families are great Definitely Yeah Family is, like, everything for [00:29:40] me. Um, and it's, like, the number one most important thing for me [00:29:45] every day, always, no matter what, family, family, family Mm-hmm.
[00:29:49] Dr. Taz: I [00:29:50] love that. Yeah I am aligned with you that way. I think it, it's really what brings our meaning [00:29:55] into existence very much. So good luck- Thank you ... and lots of love and kisses [00:30:00] and hugs and all of those things. Thank you so much I can't wait to, to see how it all turns out, and of [00:30:05] course we'll stay in touch.
[00:30:06] Dr. Taz: Yes. But thank you so much for taking some time today to join me and share [00:30:10] your wisdom and your experience with so many people who really truly are struggling right now, and [00:30:15] just need to hear how it's done and how many of us are tackling [00:30:20] parenting, relationships, raising children in today's society, and [00:30:25] really leaning into that concept and idea of family as being the grounding force that helps [00:30:30] us get through all of it.
[00:30:30] Dr. Taz: So thank you so much.
[00:30:32] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Thank you so much, and I'll make sure to check in [00:30:35] postpartum
[00:30:36] Dr. Taz: Yes
[00:30:36] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: We'll see how it's all
going
[00:30:37] Dr. Taz: Please do. I'm, I am here for you. Please [00:30:40]
[00:30:40] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: do-
[00:30:41] Dr. Taz: Thank you ... for sure. All right, take care.
[00:30:42] Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt: Bye.
[00:30:43] Dr. Taz: Thank you so much for [00:30:45] listening and watching today's episode of HolPlus. Be sure to share this episode with your friends and [00:30:50] family, and if you haven't already, please take a moment to subscribe to this podcast on YouTube, or [00:30:55] click the follow button on Apple, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts.
[00:30:59] Dr. Taz: And don't forget to [00:31:00] follow me on all social channels @DrTazMD. Until next time, stay [00:31:05] healthy and stay whole.