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How Does She Do It? is a podcast about what sits underneath the roles women carry.
Hosted by Latasha Kennedy, the show explores motherhood at the intersection of faith, family and calling through honest conversations with women building meaningful lives. We talk about the decisions, systems, relationships, setbacks and support behind what everyone else sees.
These are not conversations with women who have everything figured out. They are conversations about becoming, choosing what matters, navigating seasons that stretch you and building a life that reflects what God has entrusted to you.
From marriage and motherhood to identity, health, work, purpose, money and the dreams that still matter, How Does She Do It? asks the question women are often thinking when they look at another woman’s life they admire:
"Geez, how does she do it?"
Well sis, it’s time to find out.
LATASHA (00:00)
Incorporate
faith with vision. So for me being intentional is paramount. We're gonna let our kids practice engaging with the world and negotiating what they want with the world.
CECELIA (00:17)
But I want to hear from you, how did you know that this was the exact time, the right season to use your voice in this way?
LATASHA (00:25)
the only person who would be holding myself back at this point is myself. So let me get started.
CECELIA (00:30)
The one thing you would tell her.
LATASHA (00:33)
That she's doing better than she thinks.
CECELIA (00:41)
Hey Latasha. Hey. Hey
LATASHA (00:43)
Girl
CECELIA (00:44)
girl. Hey. Whereas you always say to me, hey friend.
LATASHA (00:47)
Hey
friend
CECELIA (00:50)
I I'm just so excited to be here today. I'm so excited to be excited to Yeah, like to be the one who gets to grill you. I'm so honored that you chose me to be here today. Yeah. So thank you. Thank you. I've been looking forward to this conversation ever since you asked me. So I'm really excited. Yeah. How does it feel? How does it feel to be on the other side?
LATASHA (01:14)
It's exciting.
It's exciting. It's a little it's exciting. I'm you know, I'm excited. It's a little nerve-wracking, but not too much. I mean, I'm excited to share my my version of how I do it. So I see this as kind of like no different than us being in a cafe, having a good girl, Kiki, about our kids and all the things.
CECELIA (01:35)
Excellent. Well, that's what we're doing. We are going to have a good, a good girlfriend talk. Just like in a cafe, we just happen to be having microphones in front of us with like and all the things. So but I'm really excited to be here. Now, before we dive into the really good stuff, into the really deep stuff, I just wanna hear from you. What does your life look like right now? I know because I've known you a little while that you have an 18-year-old, you have a 12-year-old, you're a boy mom like me. But what is your life look like?
Right now, maybe on a random Tuesday morning.
LATASHA (02:08)
Yeah, a random Tuesday morning for me is looking it's kind of uneventful, honestly. maybe up until the time I get in my car and have to actually drive my son to school. That becomes more like a Jason born event, you know? Because I have to navigate traffic and crazy situations on 95 every morning. But other than that, we do a lot of prep leading up to the
leading up to the the morning of school. So because I don't like to be frantic and I don't like looking for things. And I don't like sending my son off to school with a bad attitude. Right. So because all of those things of not being prepared, not knowing what's coming up, not knowing what's next, not knowing you needed a project board, you know, before we head out the door, all those things just have a way of just changing the mood, the morale, you know.
So we do a lot of prep at night. We do a a wide scope on Sundays to just really talk about what's coming down the pipeline. What, what, do you have any tests coming up? Do you have a game? You know, we really try to understand does he have any things that are concerning to him? Oftentimes my oldest son is also here because he comes home on the weekends because he goes to school locally. so he comes home on the weekends and we just sort of have a family discussion.
about what our life is about to look like and where we can plug in in the different areas to offer help or support. So by the time we get to the morning, you know, bags are packed, homework is done, you know, clothes are pulled, my kids Josiah wears uniform. So there's really nothing. There's no reason to delay on the getting dressed part.
And I think once I can get the baby up, once he's up, then we're okay. I've had to recruit my husband to help with that because there's something about the vibrato of dad. Yes. that helps people move a little faster. So, so yeah. But once we get past that part, it's pretty chill.
CECELIA (04:29)
That's so true. I find that my husband usually leaves for work pretty early in the morning. He's not usually available to get the kids ready. Yeah. But there's one thing I ask, I'm like, before you leave, can you just get them up? Just get them up. I got this after, but can you just there's just something about it. And I think part of it too is they want to see him in the morning before they
LATASHA (04:54)
That's a good point.
CECELIA (04:56)
Think you're right. The vibrato of dad is just helpful and getting help in the morning. Yeah. You know, I'm a little bit, I I'm typically not envious of people,
LATASHA (05:05)
Okay.
CECELIA (05:06)
but you said that your Tuesday mornings are typically uneventful. Yeah. Uneventful. I want my Tuesday mornings to be uneventful. I really truly do. Yeah. And I'm glad that you kind of spelled out some of the things that make your mornings uneventful. You talked about
You know, the family meeting on Sunday nights, you talked about prepping the uniforms before do you prep them each night or do you prep prep them at the beginning of the week? I'm curious.
LATASHA (05:34)
Yeah, so we do every Sunday, Josiah brings his laundry to to me. I do it. and because his clothes are like they're the material just it doesn't get wrinkled. So I never have to iron his clothes. Like once we we take them freshly out the dryer, they're nice and cozy, you know. and there's there's no need for ironing or steaming.
and then he puts them away. He has a uniform drawer. When he was younger, like your kids, we had a cubby system. So what I would do with them on Sundays, instead of just put all your clothes in your uniform drawer, we would go line by line. Monday, these are our undies. Do you want to wear Spider-Man or do you wanna wear Hulk? Because I know it matters. You know? Are we wearing red light up shoes?
Or regular shoes. Like we would have these conversations because those were the bottlenecks. Those were the things that we kept getting hung up on at the front door. so we would go line by line. And I made it fun, turn on my favorite music, but it was like our laundry party, part of our laundry party, to have those cubbies in the closet. And then we would just pack up and they're ready for the week. And so literally they would just grab everything after their shower and get dressed.
CECELIA (07:02)
Thank you for detailing that. I feel like I prep and then morning hits and it's a little bit
LATASHA (07:09)
What's going on though? What I mean, what parts are you you feel like you're not doing or could do?
CECELIA (07:16)
It's things like getting the lunches ready in the morning. even if I have prepped and made sandwiches the night before, just the time. The time of putting the things, the little water bottles, the inevitably somebody can't find something, even though we prepped the night before. This morning my son couldn't find his drum set. I don't it's huge. The whole drum set. Whole drum set.
the whole dri the which is confusing to me. It really is. But at the end of the day, it was in a car. I don't usually I don't usually drive a car. I usually drive a minivan. So we found it in the back of the car from that one day a long time ago that I picked him up in
LATASHA (07:59)
Okay.
CECELIA (08:01)
that car. yeah. So I'm gonna I'm gonna take some of your notes. I will continue to try to prep in my own life, but impressed
LATASHA (08:08)
Yeah, so
CECELIA (08:09)
that you say it's uneventful. I really am.
LATASHA (08:11)
I had to work to that. Yeah, we didn't start there. We did not start there. We got to uneventful a little bit at a time. especially with my oldest Elijah, who had very specific shoes and very specific hats and also tried to sneak toys out the house. I mean, we didn't start here. So it takes it took some time. It took some time.
CECELIA (08:36)
Okay. So uneventful is my goal. It may take a little bit of time to get there. Your kids are are getting a little bit older now. Yeah. But if you could just look back at your younger days, at your younger Latasha mom days, younger kids, younger husband. Yeah. Just look back. I mean, you had what, like a baby on the hip and one in kindergarten, first grade. And just remember that brain fog and
Yeah. Just where you were as a woman, as a mom, as a professional, if you just think back, yeah, what are some of the things that you're just like, man, all that was going on, and somehow those are the things I got right? Like if you could just look back, tell me what are some of the things you feel like you got right during that busy younger mom season.
LATASHA (09:23)
Yeah.
You know, one of the things that was super important to me when I started having children was to be able to bring my full self to the motherhood journey. And so I didn't know all of what that meant because I also knew there would be times that I wanted to step away from my career so that I could just focus on my kids, especially Elijah, because he came at a time when Robert had just started medical school. So
You know, the idea I and I really wanted us to be able to bond as a family. So I took some time off from my career to really lean into that to for that first year for us to really be able to feel like a family. And and I just remember constantly being like, okay, but I still want to be able to explore the things that are important to me. Yeah. I was an artist.
you know, and so I really wanted to figure it out. And so I was willing to go through the painful troubleshooting of trying to understand how much I could do, how much I couldn't do. and I just remember being in New York and when we went to New York, we we just didn't have any we didn't have any family there. So we were doing everything ourselves and it was really challenging trying to manage baby
And career and a husband whose schedule is just, I mean, it it is not to serve me. You know what I mean? and so I remember and then I also was have just had the audacity then to also be like, Well, but I really want my family. Like, I don't like leaving my kids with strangers. And I had really great friends, really great community, but they also had multiples and they also had
a plethora of responsibilities. So I didn't want to impose on them as well, even though they were helpful when they could be. But it was becoming clear that this was this may or may not work this way. And I had a really good friend who said, You're gonna have to choose. You're just gonna have to make a decision. Do you wanna do it this way? Where you invite, you know, you vet
people from nanny dot com or wherever you get your babysitters from, or do you want to involve family, which is in Maryland and it's gonna look different. But which life do you wanna live? because I was having a really hard time navigating this back and forth stop and start in New York City. And at the time I was a director, I was, you know, building programs, developing programs for students and
Nonprofits, I was having this time my life. But when it when I really wanted to be able to expand, I just could not because I was always trying to figure out how who was gonna watch my baby. So when I had Josiah, that it just changed everything. You know, having two babies, like you said, one on the hip, one in a suit coming with me everywhere, you know? I I just I I decided, okay.
I'm gonna go home and let my parents, my in-laws and my mom and my my siblings, I had my whole family in Maryland, my husband's whole family in Maryland. And that was probably the best decision that we made for that season because I was able to get so much done in so many different ways. My marriage got better. My career flourished. I flourished just because I had more help. I just had more hands.
And so this idea of I think we were doing okay doing it by ourselves, but I remember going home and people being, you know, excited to be a part of our journey, you know. So, so when I look back, I I am proud that I took the time to figure it out. I think a lot of times you can keep hitting walls and have setbacks and you just quit. People just quit.
Yeah. But I wasn't willing to quit. I just wanted to figure out how to how does this next part of my life look a little better? How do I just make it just a little better, you know? and I the things that I had to unlearn though was I had to get better at systems. So when Elijah was two, I called him the bossy toddler. He just was running the place.
If he wanted to go to bed, he would find a way to negotiate or suggest something that seemed I mean he just made things seem cool, right? So it's like nine, ten o'clock at night, team umizumi is still on. You know, I'm just like, I can't. Like what's happening? But I didn't really have any I didn't really I wasn't totally connected to my agency to or even the wherewithal to make better choices.
because I was tired. So I was tired of negotiating. I was tired of, you know, having to navigate all the different but mommies, you know? Yeah. So I but I remember my husband walking in and the living room room was covered in primary colors, like just covered with toys and Legos and all the things. And I was still in pajamas. And Cecilia, I wasn't even in cute pajamas. I was in like, you know, those
House coats or like gowns that our grandmas wear. Yeah. Yeah. I was in that. I don't even know how I got it. Like w
How I got that, gave that to me, but it wasn't someone who cared about Yeah.
CECELIA (15:21)
I had no
LATASHA (15:23)
No,
he never gave that to me 'cause he hated it, you know? And my hair was like disheveled and the ponies I just looked at a hot mess. And so he came home and he didn't insult me, but he had this look on his face where he just looked really concerned. Hmm. And that changed everything for me. he helped me, you know, clean up with the baby and get the baby in bed and everything, but I never forgot the look. And I just felt it made me feel like not embarrassed or ashamed, just
I I'm better than this, you know? And I just realized that like this isn't this isn't gonna work. I know you're tiredable, you know, but you gotta figure it out. And so I that's when I really started leaning into systems and I started reading about family management. And I came up with a way to reverse engineer my my days with Elijah so that there was a hard out for certain activities and for certain times of day.
And even for bedtime, which I was pretty lenient with at the time. But those systems served me so well throughout my entire time as, you know, ri at throughout his rearing, because even him having to go to bed at 7 30 meant that I wasn't this disheveled woman when my when my man comes through the door. Right. And so now we can have time together, we can talk. I'm a
I can do things for myself that I enjoy. And so I don't have so much resentment or confusion about how my day is gonna look because I have a clear understanding about what we're doing today, what the goals are for today, what the vision is for the spring, you know? And so that just really helped me. So when I stopped being loosey-goosey with my day and with the baby, then I really was able to not just
It was it became more than him just going to bed on time. It actually became this life that became so expansive and gave me an opportunity to really begin to explore some things that I d couldn't explore during the day. You know what I mean? So it was it was a those that unlearning that, deciding to just be very much a stickler for systems and structure at home, it changed the game for me.
CECELIA (17:48)
Think some of the things you said don't sound like they go together or they make sense, but they do as you say them. You know, you talked about when you stopped being loosey-goosey and you started adding more structure and more definition to your day, then you actually felt free. You felt liberated to focus on the things that really matter to you, to focus on your relationship with your husband, to focus on time well spent with your children, not just cleaning up Legos, but time.
Well spent, you know, time well spent for yourself for that self-care to get out of those pajamas, to do your hair, to be ready, to be ready for your family and for yourself. Well, you know, Latasha, we've already talked a little bit about faith and how it impacts everything, how it impacts our approach to life and even our approach to implementing systems in our homes. But I do want to dig a little bit deeper. I want specifics. I want to hear from you.
On what's fueling you beneath the service. Hold on. I said service. Hold on.
LATASHA (18:54)
Okay.
CECELIA (18:56)
You know, Latasha, we already talked a bit about our faith. We talked about looking to Proverbs and how actually adding some of the biblical structure to our lives is liberating. It actually makes things better. It's not suffocating, it's liberating. Yeah. But I want to keep going. I want to dig a little bit deeper. I want to understand what's fueling you beneath the surface. You always ask your guests, you always do, how they incorporate their faith.
into their busy schedules. Yeah. I want to hear how you do it.
LATASHA (19:29)
Okay. How do do it? Yeah. so I incorporate faith with vision. So for me, being intentional is paramount. You know, so everything that I do or I don't do is because it has something to do with the vision. And because, you know, I've been a mother and a wife for most of my adult life, it's been really important that
you know, to to go back to the scripture that I mentioned, please teach us to number our days, right? that has been the the the governing, the core scripture for me. So because I'm so aware of time, I don't want to see my kids waste time. And it's it doesn't have anything to do with not wanting to have downtime or play or anything like that. I mean in life.
CECELIA (20:25)
Right.
LATASHA (20:26)
So when I started
having my kids, it was very much about what's the vision for my boys? And every move, every step has been about does it support the vision or does it not? And having those priorities and the non negotiables in place, maybe they change a bit, but not really. You know, they never really move away from family first, God first, husband, and
Because of that, you know, I get to my life looks exactly for the most part, you always have a surprise here or there, right? But I'm not often surprised at the season that I'm in. I I feel like I can learn from seasons prior because I'm older and I you know, I can see where I may have had some missteps. But my prayer in that season, my intention in that season was to move in the best way that I knew possible.
And it wasn't just, I'll just do anything. It was, well, what's the vision? What are we after? What are we trying to achieve? So even though I had little crazy kids running around beating each other up and putting underwear in my freezer. Okay. I had a vision for him. And I would communicate it to him. I would communicate it to his father. And we did specific things.
to support that vision. Obviously it's a shared mission and a shared vision with my husband as well. But I say all that to say that my faith and has ha plays out every single day. in how I respond because my kids are wonderful kids. I love my kids. But my kids, they can get on my nerves just like anybody else's kids can get on their nerves. Right. And get out of pocket or, you know,
get a little too, you know, what's the word? Spicy, right?
CECELIA (22:26)
Nice.
LATASHA (22:27)
It's it's spicy. And so we have to tone that down. And so, but how we tone that down is based on the end in mind for me. So because I always want to be able to have a wonderful relationship with my boys, I speak to them a certain way. Right? I my tone is is very specific, even when I'm angry.
I don't feel the need to just completely just lose all resolve and yell at them in a way that disrespects them or that makes them, you know, feel s scared. I don't need that. I just, you know, because I have I've already developed a relationship with them where there's respect and there's love. And so we can have a conversation. Now I my tone may have changed a bit. I may sound a you may know that I'm
For sure angry, but it's not because I'm disrespecting you. It's not because I'm yelling at you. It's because you know me and you sense that the vibe has changed. Right. Right. and so that's that but I only make that decision because of what I want, what what my vision is. If I didn't have a vision to have a relationship with them years from now, when they're married and gone, then I would then I would I wouldn't need to pause.
You know, I wouldn't need to reconsider how I respond. but I do. And when it comes to who they are and how they who they grow to be, all of those things start with Christ. You know, it's the most important thing to us is that our children love and know God for themselves. Whatever else they do after that, we're like, we're here for you. We support you, we're rooting for you.
But you'll get through anything. You'll make it doing anything if you actually have God at the center of your life. So, you know, so those have been things that have been rooted in our family. and so the that's how the day-to-day could look, it could be wild or it could be totally uneventful. But God is always sort of in the midst of it because I'm always asking the question, okay.
How do I respond to this? Or I go to my husband and have a conversation about something that is happening in our life or with our kids that's concerning me. And before I just, you know, just have a knee-jerk reaction to talk it through. But I think that, you know, having an idea about the future is what helps to s really govern us because
It's giving us like sort of a a roadmap, so to speak, in terms of how we get to where we're going. 'Cause it's not just that you raise kids or, you know, just that your kids leave the house, but in what condition are they leaving the house? What condition are me and my husband in when they leave the house? Right. So because all those questions are we're always investigating that and always exploring that, we're always having these conversations about how we can do better.
How can we show up more for each other? How can we show up more for our kids? You know? So, does that answer your question?
CECELIA (25:51)
It does and it raises other questions. I think this is so good. Yeah, I think this is so good. And so many women and moms, even dads, need to hear this about being so intentional about how we're raising our children, the vision, the day-to-day decisions, the day-to-day conversations, and how it doesn't just impact the now, but it impacts the future. It impacts their self-esteem, their confidence, their relationship with their siblings, their relationship with their parents going forward.
So I think it's so important. But some of the questions I have for you now. Okay. would you say you are continuing kind of a legacy of intentional parenting, or do you feel like it's something you've picked up along the way, something you and your husband have had to learn for yourselves? Because so many of us repeat what we see our parents do, good or bad, we tend to repeat it. So I'm curious if you feel like you're
repeating.
And continue continuing a legacy of faithful, like intentional parenting, or if it's something that you and your husband decided, this is who we are and this is who we're going to be as a family.
LATASHA (27:01)
That is such a good question. That's why you're here. That is a awesome question. Because yeah, I mean, I was raised in the faith. So, you know, my mom was a Christian. we didn't go to church all the time, but mm my mom raised me to be a Christian to and to activate my faith for different things that were happening.
in my life. And my grandma was also, you know, a a very pivotal character, you know, in my world. But my mother and my grandmother were the only ones who were raising me. My father was not in my life as a child. And then you have my husband who was raised by both parents, and who was raised as a Christian. He even went to Christian schools.
throughout his entire educational ad academic career. And his his parents are still married to this day. and so we come from two very different backgrounds. The thing that was important to us when we got married was to identify the things that and to be very clear and grateful for the ways in which our parents contributed to our rearing, our life, and our jump start, if you will. But we were also very clear that
you know, the things that we wanted to achieve and if we wanted every generation is supposed to do a little bit better, right, than the one prior. And in order to do that, we were gonna have to lean in into areas that weren't leaned into as much when we were kids. Our parents were a because I told you so generation. Right. There wasn't a whole lot of but can we talk about it? Right. and that served us.
But we didn't want to be those type of parents. We really wanted to give some sort of understanding to our kids about why we said no. Now that also brings into all you know, brings all kinds of other issues into the room because now you have to also take another step where your kids understand how to navigate those conversations to understand when mom says no, when it's okay to push this a little further.
And when mom says no, and there's room for a discussion. Right. Okay. So, but before we started having children, we read this book called The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Yep. And in that book, Malcolm Gladwell talks about the clear distinction between children who were raised to learn how and learned how to navigate the world and get what they wanted from the world.
versus kids whose parents always spoke for them, whether they went to a doctor's appointment or a dentist appointment. The the the child never really had the practice of using their own voice. Right. And so we decided okay we're gonna implement that. We're gonna let our kids practice engaging with the world and negotiating what they want with the world. Do you raise crafty kids that way? Yes. And do they use some of that on you?
Uh-huh. However, the long game, right, is what we're looking at. Because I can correct little JoJo or little Elijah over these little, you know, tricks that they're trying to play with mommy. The bigger idea is do you know, do you have practical intelligence? Yes. Do you know how to talk to authority? Do you know how to get de-escalate a situation so that it works in your favor?
you know, certain things like that. So we really took a lot of time to focus on those things. It wasn't just about be polite, right? be respectful. Yes, be respectful, be thoughtful, but here's why. And here's some of the outcomes that happen because of that. Right. and then when you think about on a professional level, I mean, my idea for my kids was
I wanted it to be a mandate for them to run a company that they start and as starting either in eighth or ninth grade. And the goal was by the time they graduate from high school to have a viable business. I didn't care how profitable it was or was not. I just wanted them to have the practice. Because what I was learning as a young entrepreneur, when I was in certain rooms, I was learning that when Johnny.
is like 26 and he's being called a prodigy. It's because he's been practicing this for 10 years. So his family was putting $100 here, $100 there in his hand and said, go do something with it, right? So Johnny would start a lemonade stand. And the next year Johnny might start a a car wash, right? But what he was learning was all the big things, client acquisition, marketing.
how to deal how to do sales, right? And we don't say that, but that essentially is what we're learning. Right.
CECELIA (32:22)
True. Yeah. Right.
LATASHA (32:24)
Or and so my goal was I really wanted my kids to graduate from high school already understanding their value, right? Because our value increases as we grow and get older and gain more skill set. But I wanted them, even at the tender age of 18,
To know this is my value today and this is what I can bring to the marketplace, right? And I wanted them to train them for the years that they had with me to be able to hear problems and think about how they could solve them. Because essentially, that's really all an entrepreneur is. We're hearing problems and we're figuring out how we can solve them best, right? And so because my kids, you know, are just kind of naturally entrepreneurial.
Those were things that I just leaned into when they were young. For me, it was my mom really leaned into me for artistry. I was really, I was, you know, I wanted to do theater. I wanted to do I wanted to sing. I wanted to do all the things. So my mom was just like, well, where is all the things? You know, and she was driving me around. There wasn't a whole lot of opportunity for my mom to learn the entertainment business and then teach it to me, which is something that me and my husband do. You know, we
learn finance and wealth management and then we teach it to our kids, right? So when our kids were in 2020 when we had a lot more time with them, that's when we started teaching them how to, you know, trade and understand stocks and dollar cost averaging, you know. And Josiah was only six, but he did understand the concept that I like Nikes and Nike is being publicly traded. Could I give some of my birthday money?
You know, and like and start investing. Sure, Jojo. Right. So those were things that we just thought were really important. Those weren't necessarily conversations that our parents had with us, you know, at when we were young. because I had a job at like 14. I think Robert started working at fifteen, sixteen. You know, that was how you made your
your money to get the little things that you wanted that your parents were like, no. Right. For our kids, we're like, if you want something, why don't you figure out a problem to fix? And then go fix it. Find a, you know, price that that solution at a rate that people are willing to pay you. And let's see what happens. And so my oldest son started a few businesses.
He landed on apparel and sports photography. And it was just by identifying needs. And we he did so well that w he was saving for new equipment. Girl, we just we're like, baby, it's five. We'll get the equipment.
CECELIA (35:24)
Just pouring into him. Just pouring back into him. Yeah. Yeah.
LATASHA (35:28)
And so he's 18 and he, you know, has the opportunity to do all these things. But when I was 18, my 18 looked a little looked a lot different. Yeah. You know, college was the way. It was my out. For Elijah, college is just another part of his process. Right. You see. So, but we've just been really intentional about thinking about what we want to see.
years ahead and then making those hard choices or whatever the whatever was required of that choice at the time to and then following through with it and really getting the children's buy-in. And that's what we found is that kids don't have a problem being stretched. They really don't. Oftentimes we just we don't we don't have it. We
CECELIA (36:18)
We We limit them.
LATASHA (36:20)
don't have it. Yeah. So we don't wanna w if it's I don't ha I don't have a a hundred dollars just to give away.
Okay, do you have twenty-five? You know, maybe save up some coffee money. but figure it out. Right. Because the because whatever it is, when you we all I I feel like intrinsically as a mother, we all look at our kids and can see that like they just have like really strong gifts or proclivities towards something, right? And so the the sooner you decide to lean into that and to
pour into that and to focus on that as mom, the sky is the limit. One of the things that was really frustrating me during 2020 when we were all locked in our houses during COVID was that my kids were just like consuming YouTube at high, high amounts. And it was it was killing me. And so the mandate to my kids was for every hour that you're gonna watch somebody else sit in front of a a camera and live their life.
You also have to go sit in front of a camera and live your life. So I don't care what you do. And so I required my six-year-old at the time and my 12 year old at the time to start their own YouTube channels. And it wasn't for the purpose of going viral. It was for the purpose again of understanding that I too have something to contribute to the world, to the marketplace. I don't I don't need to just be a consumer. Let me also think about some ways in which I can entertain, I can fix problems, right?
And so then what it did on the back end was that it helped them both with public speaking, right? Because it we think it's nothing to say, hey, YouTube, it's your boy. Right. But having to say that over and over and practice that, they became better speakers. So I think that, you know, as moms, we have so much power. We have so much influence. Our kids adore us.
I mean, right. And so when you use your power for good, you can raise your own little superhero. You know, like you really can. And they will they will follow you to the edge of the mountain. They will because you said it's fine. Right. So lead them somewhere where the future them is gonna be excited about it too, you know? And so I always want my kids to have options.
So my stretch, when I'm stretching them, I tell them why, right? I don't just drop them off or sign them up for something that could be challenging without a conversation or without their input because I want their buy-in. and so I remember when a lot when we lived in Maryland, Elijah went to a s very small Christian school. And I signed him up over the summer for this very large elite gym camp.
basketball cam, I'm sorry. And he couldn't understand why he had to go. Like, mom, I don't want to do this. And I said, baby, like the world does not look like your school. Your school is so small. The goal is for you to be able to pick up a backpack and go live anywhere in the world. Anywhere. Yeah. And right now you're not equipped to do that because you are only in this small, tiny environment. You need to go
Where there's more people, there's more diversity, and where you have to kind of stretch a little bit, right? To find your tribe, because that's what it's like to live in another state. That's what it's like to live in another country. And I never want my kids to feel like they can't make big choices because they they're too paralyzed by fear or by the fact that they've never, I mean, we all face things that we've never faced before, but if you've just if you've never
you know, been in a space where there's more than a hundred people in the room, it's gonna, it's it is gonna be terrifying, you know? And so I know I can't save them from every future thing that they'll face, but I do want to equip them as much as possible with strong faith and with the agency, the courage, the fearlessness that if God said I can, if mama said I can't, daddy said I can, you know, I can do it.
You know, because sometimes we need someone else to believe in us until we can believe in ourselves. And that is really the role that I feel like I play, not just in my family's life, but in anyone's life who comes across my path. If you can't see it, I'll see it for you. Right. I'll see it for you. I'll I'll say it back to you so that you can really, really see how powerful and amazing you really are, because we all have a gift. We all have purpose.
You know? and so until you see it, I see it. And then when you see it, I can back off and let you do you boo.
CECELIA (41:29)
I love that. I love all of it. I love all of it. We both know, you and I have both been married a long time. We know that the marriage is the foundation for the family. If mommy and daddy aren't okay, then it's tough for the kids to be okay. It is so how do you keep your marriage strong? What are the things that you and your husband are doing to just make sure y'all are good so the kids can be good?
LATASHA (41:55)
Well, I mean, it starts with God. So that is number one. and we have learned how important it has been for the both of us to care and to be responsible for our own well being. Right? So that the person that we bring to each other is someone kind, someone thoughtful, someone willing to serve, someone who's patient and friendly.
So that's that's that's where we start. Outside of that, I mean, I really like my my husband. I would go call him my boyfriend. I really like my husband. I mean, I really enjoy time with him. and, you know, I would say probably over the last ten years since, you know, he's or more that he's been out of that he's been an attending position, his schedule has allowed us to have this really cool schedule together.
So for a long time he was seven on, seven off. So he would work seven days, right? And then he'd be off for seven days. And those seven days were our time. Like we just enjoyed coffee and taking a walk at the park or going to the mall. Or I mean it's it wasn't always about the fancy stuff. Sometimes we just love being in the room together. Both are tapping away on our keyboard. but we're together. Yeah. And when our kids were young, I that was it was a little bit harder.
Because there were so many moving parts. And there were so many times when I felt like we were just moving trains or passing trains. And I remember the benefit of Elijah going to bed at night was so that we could have our date night. And during that time, Scandal was really popular. And I remember Robert coming home and was, you know, just giving me a lot of lip.
about the the show. What is it? Why is that happening? All the things. But then it caught his attention. He started asking different questions that suggested he was interested. Mm and before you know it, he's like, So when does when this come on every night? Like
So we
CECELIA (44:10)
That was your time together.
LATASHA (44:11)
that was our time together. And so we would use that every every Thursday. We would order food from one of our favorite restaurants. And that was our date night because we didn't have anyone to watch Elijah for us to go out. So we just used that time creatively as as best we knew how. And we did that for a long time. and then when we moved to Maryland though, my father-in-law was
super influential in helping us kind of move to the next step. And he was like, You guys are so, so spontaneous. You guys never plan, you know, when it comes to these type of things, but we want to help. And we can help if you plan it. So so he encouraged us to be really intentional about traveling more, about date having even more date nights. and so that really
really just, you know, fueled our friendship even more. And then now that our kids are a little bit older, well, Elijah's not here during the week. But when Elijah was here and at the babysitting age, we called him our living babysitter. Right. So we would take dates any day, you know? but the cool thing still is our schedule. We have the days together. So we can
Do whatever you want. And a lot of times we'll take a day date, we'll go explore somewhere the at the beach, a new restaurant or something like that, or just take a ride. but honestly, I could just sit next to him in a car and just listen to music. I don't really need much, you know. but he still offers so much, you know, to our friendship and to our relationship. And even as I was saying earlier, I needed the vibrato.
Of dad, you know, and so he makes it easy to talk to about the things that aren't working in our family. and he brings a lot of humor, a lot of dry humor, but he brings a lot of humor to our experience. And I think also he's been such a great leader in helping us to embrace another season or a new way of doing things.
So I remember when he was sort of new in his career, he was really stressed out. It was it was it was a very challenging time for the both of us during that time. And I just remember him really putting in so much effort to try to figure out what's going on with me, not me, but him, you know? And in that the in that exploration.
You know, he was able to sort of sort of d create a new narrative for himself, for his journey at work. And that was I just really appreciated that because the books that he was reading, he was like, We're gonna read them together, you know? And new concepts, new principles, principles that we we use in our family life and our marriage, so just so helpful. And people always say, you know
no one knows how to do a marriage or no one knows how to raise kids, but people do write books, you know? People write really good books about things that they've learned, principles that they've lived by that are really helpful. And so for us, that has been that has been a a a way that we've sort of come back to ourselves if we sort of find our way, what am I trying to say?
That has been a way that when times aren't looking, that has been a way that we have really come back to our center, our core, is by redefining a a new way forward. So if we find that a way that we're communicating is just not working, we just lean in. You know, we really lean in and we try to really hear from each other what's not working. And I think honestly,
you know, really understanding emotional needs. and it's it's I think it's a step above the love languages, you know, but really knowing someone's emotional needs, what really moves them, what really makes them feel loved, is it it's just such a game changer. Be and so for me and my husband, we explore that. It's a questionnaire that we take every so often just to kind of see what's the temperature.
For each other, you know, because needs change. And his needs when he was a young man first started med school are very different now. So I think, you know, that's another area where us being intentional has really just helped to sustain our marriage and not just sustain it, but help it to grow and help it to remain fun and spicy and enjoyable. And especially as you're, you know, because it's like,
If you only wait until your kids get older to enjoy each other, then if so much has happened in that time. That's such a you there's no way to possibly know someone after sort of neglecting them or not really engaging with them for eighteen years. You know what I mean? So yeah.
CECELIA (49:46)
You and your husband sound really cool. Like obviously I think you're very cool, but I haven't met him. But I can understand he must be cool because you're married to him. So I just have this desire to like go on a vacation together. Your husband and my husband, and that would just be so much fun. You're Elijah, my Elijah, all the boys. Yes. It just I don't know. Maybe we'll add that to our list of things we need to do together.
LATASHA (50:13)
We
do, we do.
CECELIA (50:14)
It sounds like you guys have a good a good thing going.
LATASHA (50:18)
Yeah, thank you. I mean, I really I really feel like I really honestly I feel so blessed because where I where I came from, that was I wasn't even thinking about that. I just wanted to get out of Southeast. That's all. You know, I just wanted to be able to do enough or more than enough to get a yes from a college and get out of the neighborhoods that I was in.
And when I met my husband, I remember telling him, I have no idea where you fit. I do not know where you fit in my life because I was so busy. I was so committed to building my future. And and even though I thought he could be a great part of my future, I didn't know if it was worth it to negotiate him being in it like that. You know what I mean?
But yeah, but w being married to him, I've learned so much. I've become like it's funny how the roles switch or the personalities blend because he's very type A, and I'm very much not. But there are areas in my life where I can operate as a type A so much better because I have learned so much from his structure, his rhythm, the way he moves and
and then on the on the flip side, he's a lot more loose, you know, and spontaneous. So it's kind of cool too to just have this life where we've had such an adventure, such an adventure, and we've lived so many lives, but we've been able to do it together. And so there is something so profound when I see him in a season where he's really growing, where I can like reflect on that back to him.
Right. There's something really profound about having a witness in your life who's like, my gosh, I remember when that was really hard for you. And now you're killing it. You know? Now you're just soaring. Like I remember when you thought you couldn't do it and now you're doing it. And there's something really special about someone who's just been with you in and out of season who sees you for this moment. Right. They always saw that this moment that you're in was possible.
And they just were willing to walk with you until you really arrive there as well. So it's it's really great. And then my husband was also the one who took care of me. He was my primary caretaker when I had my brain surgery. And there is something that shifts in a marriage when that happens, when now the a person who was vibrant and could do all the things with you is now completely and totally dependent.
on you for everything. And for me, it was everything from walking. I could not walk by myself. I was only awake for like two hours of the day. he brushed my teeth. He, you know, helped me shop. I mean all the things. He did everything. And he did it with a smile. And he did it make making me laugh, even though I wasn't really supposed to laugh because it hurt, you know. but that type of commitment and that type of devotion
is not lost on me. And so I just appreciate him. I have such a immense amount of gratitude to God for giving that man to me. And then for that man to do the work daily, to choose me, to love me, to care for me and for our kids. It's just I feel very, very blessed.
CECELIA (54:00)
Yeah. You sound very, very blessed. Thank
LATASHA (54:03)
I don't think
CECELIA (54:03)
you. You do. You absolutely do. And I'm very happy for you.
LATASHA (54:07)
Thank you.
CECELIA (54:09)
Well, you are launching this podcast. How does she do it? You're launching this podcast. There's no other person on earth who is better equipped to launch this podcast than you. But you you're launching this podcast right now. you do have one who's eighteen, but you still have one who's very much in the home, very busy. You're very busy, mom. And I know there's so many, I'll just say moms in particular.
Who are like, you know what, I'll do this after the kids get older. I'll do it later, later, later, later. And you're like, no, I'm doing it now. So I love it. But I want to hear from you, how did you know that this was the exact time, the right season to use your voice in this way?
LATASHA (55:00)
Yeah. So I that goes back to me just really embracing seasons. And I do understand every season is not a good season to start something. D this time last year was not the time to have these type of conversations because at that time I was trying to help my oldest son graduate from high school. Not help him in that way, but you know, help him navigate from high school into a pr
brand new chapter. I think around this time we're talking about prom and, you know, and then I had my youngest Josiah was just starting middle school last year. And time management and productivity and, you know, just really trying to help him find his way in a new space was the priority. And those were the conversations that I was having. I was really trying to figure out how to be present and and help
our situation all all of our situations move forward, right? and it was in the back of my mind in terms of wanting to do this and wanting to, you know, have these conversations and have a podcast and do all the things that I'm doing through my brand. But I just I it it just was not the right time. And now that my my older oldest son, Elijah, is in college, that's one whole kid out the house. You know?
From the d for the day to day. and then for Josiah, he's really found his way a little bit better. He's navigating middle school so much better. and so I felt, okay, well, the only the only person who would be holding myself back at this point is myself. So let me get started.
CECELIA (56:48)
Well, this is the segment everyone waits for. I've been waiting for. You call it the pulse check. It's your show. You call it the pulse check. Yes. So let's do it. Let's check your pulse. You have five seconds to answer every question. Do not overthink it. Okay. I just want rapid fire. I just want rapid answers.
LATASHA (57:06)
I'm gonna do
CECELIA (57:07)
So we're gonna do the survival staple first. It's four o'clock PM and you're hitting a wall. What's your go to? What's your mom fuel?
LATASHA (57:16)
My mom feel, probably I'm going to go to the bathroom. Just sit in there.
CECELIA (57:25)
Okay, you're gonna hide in the bathroom. Mm-hmm.
LATASHA (57:27)
I'm gonna eye in the bathroom. Okay.
CECELIA (57:29)
Got it. That's different from going to the bathroom.
LATASHA (57:31)
No, I'm not gonna go to bed. I'm just gonna t take my phone and turn on some music and sit
in there. Okay.
CECELIA (57:35)
Okay,
got it. I hide in the pantry sometimes. that's good. yeah. The unfiltered truth. What is the one household chore you would happily delete from existence?
LATASHA (57:47)
No, laundry.
CECELIA (57:49)
Laundry. It's gotta go off the top. Take it away. Not in my life. Yeah. Take it away. Finish this sentence. Beyond being a mom and a professional, I am a woman who loves.
LATASHA (58:01)
To eat. To eat?
CECELIA (58:03)
I would not have guessed that. I
LATASHA (58:05)
I am such a footie.
CECELIA (58:06)
would not have guessed that. Good to know.
LATASHA (58:09)
Yeah.
CECELIA (58:09)
Modern luxury. And I know you like your little luxuries, girl. I know you do.
LATASHA (58:13)
Ha ha.
CECELIA (58:14)
It's Saturday morning. You have two hours of pure unscripted freedom. What are you gonna do?
LATASHA (58:22)
girl, I'm gonna get in my car and drive to the mall and just walk. I'm gonna probably grab a an iced coffee from Starbucks. I love hazelnut iced coffee, two pumps, not four. Okay. And yeah, I'm just gonna walk around and just hang out. the mall that I like is sort of it has an outdoor and indoor area. So, you know, when the weather is nice, the breeze.
CECELIA (58:51)
Sounds lovely, especially in Florida. That sounds perfect. Yeah. The legacy word, the big L word. If your boys had to sum up your mothering style in a single word, what do you hope that word is?
LATASHA (59:07)
Joyful.
CECELIA (59:09)
Joyful. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I like that a lot. I can imagine your household is very joyful because you are. You have so much light and so much love and so much joy that you share to the world. And I know that we're only getting a teeny tiny part of it. Your babies get most of it. So I have no doubt that that is the word they would use to sum up their childhood.
LATASHA (59:30)
appreciate you that so much. Thank you for sharing that with me and saying that. 'Cause it it never gets old, I think. As a mom, you no matter how much you you're doing, you always feel like you could be doing more. Yes. You know? So I really do appreciate you for saying that. Thank you.
CECELIA (59:48)
So for the mom who is listening right now, she's somewhere between, girl, I got it and Jesus, take the wheel. She's wondering, how does she do it? Like she's looking around at these other women and asking, how does she do it? What's the one thing you would tell her?
LATASHA (1:00:07)
that she's doing better than she thinks. Yeah.
CECELIA (1:00:09)
Hmm. Yeah.
LATASHA (1:00:10)
And I think, I yeah, I think she I think every mother needs to know you're you're doing okay. You're you're doing much better than you think. And I think when we really lean into the fact that our role starts with love and nurture and that even in the small things, even in a child sitting next to you or holding your hand
Or just looking at you in your eyes, those moments mean so much to them. And our children adore us. Our our children really, really love us. They're the level of resilience, the amount of resilience a child has to bounce back from a time when a mom has had a bad day. And that bad day, they caught the outcome of that bad day. And yet they still want to sit with you. They still want to love on you. That is.
such a special relationship. And I think it's important for mothers to not feel the shame of bad days, to not feel embarrassed about not being where they think they should be. But rather to just embrace the season that they're in and to see the love and the and the influence and the imp that they bring, even in the small things, as something that really matters, because it really does.
And every mother has a voice. Yeah. And that voice should be shared with her children in a way that moves their heart and it resonates with them because it does. Every word does. And so I think if she knows how much she matters first to God and to her her family, it changes everything for her. I think. If you realize that enough, it it like you're yes, you're doing enough.
Could you do more? We all wanna do more, right? But you're doing so much already. You've done so much already. You're doing a good job. Just keep going.
CECELIA (1:02:14)
Amen. I love that.
LATASHA (1:02:15)
It was my absolute honor to have you here and to have you interview me in this way. So thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you.
CECELIA (1:02:23)
Thank you. I love you, Freen. I love you, Freen.
LATASHA (1:02:29)
So that's all we have today, ladies. and thank you so much for joining us today.