Dec 14. Breakout Session - Lindsay Dotzlaf

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Middle.

Okay.

, what would you love coaching on Denise?

Okay, so, um, I've, I have had a few
people, this is like a new thing in

my business, ask for, um, but they
don't wanna continue on the mastermind.

They've had like personal things
happening in their, in their life

that they think are stopping them
from continuing in the program.

And I've coached myself on it.

I'm getting very clear.

I know what my policy is and
I feel pretty good about that.

But what now is happening is I
was starting to conflate like my

niece with like people who wouldn't
invest at like a higher level.

And I was saying that like, oh,
spiritual entrepreneurs, like they're

not gonna invest at the 10 K level.

And so when I created my
mastermind, I think I created it

with some of those people in mind.

And now I'm starting to see evidence
of that showing up in my program.

And my goal eventually next year is I do
wanna have an entry level offer, but I

don't wanna create it from that place.

Like I'm thinking like a three K offer.

It's a year long commitment and it's
literally like business basics for,

um, yoga teachers and coaches in that,
in that more spiritually led space.

And then I would like my mastermind to
be a 10 K program, but I have like this

intent, like not intense, but like I
really do can see, I can see how hard my

brain is fighting that there's not people.

Niche that want to invest at that
level, like that they just don't have

the means or they're not resourceful.

And I need to clean that up and I
wanna clean it up before my next

launch, um, for February, even
though I'm not raising my price yet.

Um, I'm raising, uh, my plan is
to raise the price for the Q2

launch, but I wanna clean up those
thoughts cuz they're still there.

Okay.

Um, so my first question, I
just wanna be sure I'm clear.

So right now for this group, what
you're saying is a couple people are

like, not, not continuing, but they're
maybe quitting like in the middle.

Yeah.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

and this group is 10 K?

No, this group is 5k.

Okay.

And then you're, it's currently
five that as proof that Oh.

Like see they don't wanna pay this money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I think one thing that's interesting,
like where I would definitely start

and spend time on, I love that you
wanna do this work now and like give

yourself plenty of time to just coach
yourself, like get coached on it.

Um,

sorry, I have an alert.

Hold on.

Hmm.

Okay.

One thing that I would just
definitely work through now is just

your thoughts in general before you
even connect it to like your price.

You can look at your thoughts
about your clients because mm-hmm.

, one thing that you said, and I, I
wish I had written it down so I had it

exactly, but you said, um, like they
just don't wanna invest at that level.

They just like, I'm not trusting
them to however you said it.

Like just in general I would think,
I don't think you wanna have those

thoughts no matter what your price is.

You probably don't wanna have
those thoughts about your clients.

Right.

Which is why I want to clean this up,
even just for the next launch that

the price is still gonna be 5K because
I want to attract just a different.

or just more committed person.

Um, and I can see how like I really
do have that lack of trust because

I was like, oh, I even do payment
plans to help to be accommodating.

And, um, and I, and it's all coming
from this belief that they don't invest

at that level and they're not making
the kind of money that, you know,

makes it an Easys for them to invest.

And I thought 5K would be easy, and when
I was selling my one-on-one, it was 10 K.

But I worked with a lot of people that
I think I just naturally had easier

thoughts about because a lot of them
were working full-time and wanted to

become full-time in their business.

And I still have some of those
people in my group program.

So my brain was like, oh, well if they
have a full-time job, they definitely

can invest and I need to clean that up.

. Yeah.

That's so interesting.

Okay, so what, like, why, why
are you thinking that's true?

So when you think, oh, like it's
easier if they have a full-time job.

Like what does that, what are you making
that mean about the people that don't?

I have lots of thoughts about people
who are in, you know, the yoga space

or they're doing kind of healing
work, that they're just not making

enough money in their business.

That's why they need coaching.

Mm-hmm.

. But then it's stopping me from owning
my price, or at least my thoughts are

stopping me from owning my price because
I'm telling myself, well, they don't

have the money to invest at that level.

Like it's gonna be a hardship for them.

How much are they investing
for yoga teacher training?

Uh, about 3000, 3,500 or more.

Right.

Or, or more if they do multiple
trainings over a couple years.

Yeah.

Why, how do you think
they find the money to.

I think some of them have full-time jobs,
so they're doing yoga teacher trainings

like on the weekends and that's, you know,
whether or not they wanna have a business

or they just wanna teach yoga on the side
is, you know, some of those options that

people take yoga teacher trainings for.

Um, and then I think there's just
some people that figure it out.

Do you think it's possible for them
to make the money that they need

to make to, in your mind, to like
invest that much money in coaching?

I think it's possible.

It's a hundred percent possible
if they sign up and coach with me.

Okay.

So do you think they have to
create that result before they

hire you in order to hire you?

No, I think there's lots of ways that
they can pay for, pay for coaching.

They can put it on a credit card,
they can, um, you know, they can

ask for support from family members.

And I've had conversations with, with
people around that and some, some of

my people are, are pretty resourceful.

Um, but then there's a few that
haven't been and or have said no or

now asking for like, oh, I can't, you
know, I can't stay in the mastermind

and it's, I'm making it mean something
about my ability to sell to this.

Yeah.

What if them leaving the mastermind
has nothing to do with your price

to them saying that they can't afford
to stay in the Mastermind anymore?

Is some, there's something
else underneath that maybe.

Did they actually say those words?

I can't afford to stay here anymore.

Yeah.

Okay.

One was saying I can't, I, I
wanna do, um, , I wanna invest

in therapy and can't do both.

And then the other person
said that they lost their job.

Okay.

So I think one thing that's just I
a little important to see is that

the first person is saying, I'm
choosing that something else is more

important, which is like mm-hmm.

, I'm not necessarily saying that's wrong.

Right?

Like, I don't know the situation.

I don't know if someone is like, I mm-hmm.

want to invest in therapy, but
you are interpreting it as, I

can't afford this, and then taking
it all the way to like mm-hmm.

which means it's too expensive,
which means there's no way I can

raise my price, which means, right.

And it's like these, like dominoes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Are they leaving or are
they not re-enrolling?

They're leaving.

They're, so one was a, um,
one re-enrolled, so this

would be her second round.

Um, and then the other one is like, we're,
we're like, she's in the middle of it

and they're on payment plans.

So basically just not wanting to continue
paying for the rest of the mastermind.

What would be different if you
focused on, instead of focusing on

the two people, right, like focusing
on the people that can't afford

it, the delivery of the program.

Like taking your mind in that
direction instead of like solving

for this problem that you, that
you're like assuming is a problem.

Mm-hmm.

just what do you think?

I'm not saying just like drop it,
like that might not be possible,

but what do you think would
change for you if you did that?

Like, what would you focus on instead?

I find it very difficult to do
that, to really focus on people

who like 5k, they can afford it.

, they're more than happy to pay.

They're gonna be like super committed and
then wanting to raise my price to 10 K.

Like I have such resistance to that.

But I guess if I did try to
focus on that, what would change?

Um, okay, hold on.

Let me rephrase that really quickly
because I wanna be sure that

you understand what I'm asking
and I don't think it's okay.

Quite right.

What if you didn't have to focus
on can someone afford it or not?

Because that's not a decision
you can make for someone, right?

Like you're trying to decide like,
can these people afford this thing?

Can they not afford the thing?

And that's where your energy is going
versus the other direction, which is

like the value of your program, the
focusing on clients that are getting

results, like creating more of that,
like whatever the opposite of that is.

Mm-hmm.

, you're saying what would shift?

Yeah.

I think I would be spending a lot
more time selling myself, even

more so on my result, like on the
results that my program creates.

Like I'd be selling myself more on
the process that I have that I feel

really good about to begin with.

I'd be coming up with even more
tools and concepts to support my

clients that are in my program and
support my people in my audience.

Um, and I definitely think I
would shift, even though I would

like to think I'm selling to the
person that I really wanna call in.

Like I think my energy would be, would
be a little bit, or maybe even a lot

more compelling or convicted in like
why people should join my program.

Mm-hmm.

, which is very different than solving for
like, why can't these two people af afford

this thing and why are they quitting?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

What do you think about that?

Like, what comes up when you say that?

Yeah, I don't wanna spend
any more of my energy on it.

I really do wanna focus on
the people that are gonna get

deeply served by my container.

And I can see, I can see how my
brain wants to keep going to like,

to the people who can't afford it.

And the people who are like
10 K is like, yes, let's go.

Let's, let's do it.

Like, that's where my
brain wants to keep going.

Um, versus like, no, just keep staying
focused on the value of my program and

the results that my clients are creating.

Why do you want it to be 10 k?

I think for a few reasons.

One, I think my program's
a, a total overdeliver.

I mean, people have triple, quadruple
six x that investment, so I think it's

a complete overdeliver in that way.

I feel like there's also, and this
is my thought, but there, it's like

a different energetic when someone,
you know, it almost felt like it was

easier to sell my 10 K one-on-one
than selling this, this 5K offer.

Um, and the people that I had that came
in at that level, there was to me like

a, just a different level of commitment.

Um, even not just to the program, but
like to their own business, like to

themselves and continuing to take action.

Mm-hmm.

, what do you think is the difference?

I think this is where you could spend
pl like time exploring, definitely.

How can, because we can't ever
go like, this is where pricing I

think gets a little tricky, right?

Because we can't ever go and like
say, okay, let me prove that people

like my clients can afford this
thing or can't afford this thing.

Cuz we'll always be able to
find people that can afford it.

We'll always be able to find
people that can't afford it.

Right?

That like, and, and don't wanna do the
things that they would need to do, put

it on a credit card or like, whatever.

Or can't even get a credit card.

Right?

There's just no way to say
like, this is provable.

My people can afford this product
or can't afford this product.

But when you, I would be so curious about
how you show up differently when you

sign a client for 10 K and you're like,
they're gonna show up like in this way.

And then how does that affect
the way you show up for them?

Hmm.

Because when you just said it was almost
easier to sell the 10 K, it wasn't easier

because of the people that came for it.

It was easier because of the
way you thought about it.

Okay.

Yeah, I think I, yeah, I, I almost
think like my self concept was there.

Like I just believed so much in my
coaching and like that the next six

months together was gonna be just such
an incredible win for, for my client

that they were just gonna get so much.

Like I had a client, a
one-on-one client, just insane.

She was like crying, like, and I feel
like I overdeliver inside my program.

Like I really do feel like I
still show up as that coach.

I take it very serious when someone
pays me whatever they pay me.

I want to always overdeliver to my
clients and they care very deeply about

their trajectory inside my program.

I really do.

Mm-hmm.

. Um, but then, , what made it
easier for me to sell the 10?

KK was like, I just think I naturally
was like, oh well they can afford it

and it's one-on-one and yeah, that's it.

Like the value of the program is there and
I just have to make sure that I'm needing

what I offer with what they're asking
for and making sure that that's a match.

Tell me more about, and it's one-on-one,
um, is that what makes the value 10 K?

Hmm.

I think that's how I was thinking about
it as I was still continuing to sell my

one-on-one in between my launches is like,
oh, 5k, they're in a group one-on-one.

If you want more individualized
attention, it's a 10 K.

Yeah.

Do you sell one-on-one now?

I do.

Do you?

What's the price for one-on-one?

It's still 10 K.

10 K, okay.

Mm-hmm.

. So do you think you can get yourself
to the place of why either like why

they're equal, the value of group versus
one-on-one or why group is better?

I can definitely get there
easily why they're equal.

Yeah.

I can see why one-on-one is very, has
been very helpful for some of my clients

and I can see why like being in group has
been very helpful for a lot of my clients.

Like I'm sold on both.

Yep.

Do you think that the, your
clients are sold on both?

Yeah.

Like my clients that are my
one-on-one clients like that they

love the one-on-one and the clients
that are in my group, there was no

question on whether or not like, oh,
should I, should I do one-on-one?

Like they wanted to be in community
with other people and they love being

able to like do peer coaching and, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

, I would say there's still, there's
something there that I, I would explore

if I were you because, and go back maybe
and watch the recording because when

you were like, well it's 10 K because
you know this and one-on-one so mm-hmm.

, maybe I'm thinking one on one.

What?

Yeah.

So maybe I'm thinking because they're
getting my private personal time, I

can charge that versus like, oh no,
it's just the value of that offer

and like the results that they're
gonna create and regardless of it

being one-on-one and then sell myself
on my group that way, same way.

Especially when I'm considering,
when I want to raise my price, going

to raise my price a group to 10 K.

Mm-hmm.

. Okay, I see what you're saying.

And you could even start now with
like, okay, let's just say I sold

one-on-one and this is for everybody.

Let's say I sold one-on-one and group
coaching and it's all the same price.

Oh my God.

Right?

See whatever just happened there?

Like those are the thoughts
you have to work on.

Whether you wanna work with me in a group
or not, this is what it's gonna cost.

And I'm not saying you
have to do that, right?

But Right, right.

But get yourself on board with that.

Where like, if you can get yourself
on board where you're like, no matter

what, it's 10 K to work with me.

Here's the group, here's
the benefits of the group.

Here's one-on-one, here's
benefits of one-on-one.

And I'm not saying get yourself
to where you're like, oh,

they're the exact same thing.

Cuz I think there are differences, right.

But knowing that the value is the same
no matter what is what will help you get

to the point where you can just raise
your prices and it'll be Of course.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

I've been like, this has been so
sticky for so long, and I feel like,

yes, I cannot wait for the replace.

I can go back and catch all those
other little things, but I feel

just hearing that one question
really was like, oh, okay.

Yeah.

I would start there and see all
the stuff that comes up for you of

like, why you could never do that.

Right?

Like, whatever your reaction was
that you just had, that was like no.

Mm-hmm.

. Okay.

Find all those thoughts in
between those two things.

All right.

Thank you so much, Lindsay.

You are so welcome.

Olivia.

Hi there.

Hi.

How are you?

Good.

Um, okay.

So I was in a launch November and I
sold 21 people into my mastermind.

My goal is 40.

Okay.

So I'm selling in December
and the first week of January,

and I've added on the same.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Um, so it's open right now.

Like I'm in a, I'm in the December launch
and I added some, I was in a really low

value cycle last week, like early in
the beginning of the week, and I self

coached myself and downloaded all of
my really negative thoughts, and they

got myself to a much cleaner place.

And the creating demand workshop
like helped a ton with that.

And I was really in this place of
like, I have nothing else to give them.

I've given them all my best stuff.

And I got out of that and I'm like,
oh, I haven't said any of this stuff

and I haven't done any of this stuff.

And like, there's just like such a
reservoir of things that I haven't

tried yet or haven't told them.

So I'm in a really good place with that.

I have like, essentially one live event
per week between now and like mid-January.

and they're all different.

Most of 'em have never done before.

Like I'm doing an open coaching
call, I've never done that before.

I'm doing an info call for the mastermind.

I'm doing like an end of year goal
workshop and then I do a monthly webinar.

So I'm doing my monthly webinar on Friday.

And one of the things that came up
for me was should I offer a bonus

at the end of the live events?

Because like part of me is like, I
don't want them to wait until the

very end of this launch to buy.

Like I'd rather have like the sales
coming in like consistently throughout

the month rather than like people
just wait until like the cart closes.

Why?

Um, part of it's like for security
reason, I mean I guess it's

like my lack of belief, right?

That like it's gonna come later.

So I feel like there's no incentive
for them to do it now versus later.

Why does there need to be an incentive?

I mean my thought is that
they're just gonna wait.

Okay.

But I don't want them to Yeah, I think
you don't want them to, for you for sure.

This is gonna feel better
for you if they don't wait.

Yes.

So you have to either find the reason
for them, which I guess could be

an incentive, but if you're doing
like all of these things, then what?

You're just gonna do
an incentive each time.

Is it like the same people
coming to each of the things?

Um, so that's a good question.

Not identical groups of people, but a
lot of them like come to all of my stuff.

So there's that.

Um, and then I thought like the
reason that I'm bringing this up

now is cuz I have the webinar on
Friday and I was like, well maybe

just see what happens on Friday.

and then like I still have other bites
at the apple to make a decision later on.

Mm-hmm.

rather than like, I don't wanna keep
making like the same offer, like

the same bonus offer multiple times.

Cuz then it's like, oh well
it's just always available.

So that doesn't really incentivize.

What if the incentive is
the value of the program?

I know and my thought is
like, if that were true, they

would've signed up already.

Hmm.

Or you just didn't explain it to them
in a way that they know that it's true.

Yeah.

Because if that's true, if what you're
saying is true, do you actually want

them to sign up if the only reason
they're signing up is, is because

of the value of the incentive?

Like so there's like the right answer,
which is like no and then there's

my actual answers like, I don't
give a fuck why they say sign up.

Like I could care less Uhhuh . Yeah.

Like that's my honest answer.

Okay.

Yeah.

I don't think that
there's a right or wrong.

Like I don't think it's like, yes you
should do this or no you shouldn't do it.

Yeah.

But I just don't think I'm
doing it for the right reasons.

Yeah, I don't either.

Yeah.

Okay.

You either have to find the right
reasons that you love because otherwise

if you do it for this reason Right.

For just like, I don't wanna
feel the discomfort of them

waiting till the last minute.

Yeah.

The incentive's probably not gonna work
anyway cuz the intention behind it isn't

gonna be like, let me create more value
for them or, you know, whatever thought

would be useful in that situation.

Yeah.

Okay.

May I offer something?

Yeah, go for it.

Who's that?

Um, this is Wendy.

Yes.

Uh, another thing that may be useful is
what I heard you say is you're offering

this incentive because you want to
show them the benefit of signing up.

Right now the incentive
is one way you can do.

I would spend some time in
your brain if that's what, if

that's what you were noticing.

The gap is spend some time there.

It can be the incentive, it can be
copy, it can be part of your workshop

in a new way that seems to be the, uh,
gap that you're identifying and you're

thinking it's just, oh, I'm gonna
deliver it through this incentive.

But you can explore that through
a lot of different mediums and

like, what could happen then?

Like why should they sign up now?

Well, like there are limited spots,
so if they want to be in the next

round, they should sign up now.

Like that's part of it.

Another answer is like, just like to be
able to start planning and like getting

everything lined up and like also to get
excited and like your personal development

for the next six months is like dialed in.

Yeah.

So like, like I just did a, a
one-on-one consult last week and the

relief at the end of the call, like
the person was just so relieved and

like you could feel it on the call.

So like same thing with the group,
that there's like a sense of relief

of like, Hey, I don't have to repeat
next year like I did this year.

Like I'm gonna be supported.

I'm gonna be in this community
with people like that.

That feels like such a relief for them.

Yeah.

And if you think about them and they
may be in that back and forth right now,

another thing I would think about is, you
know, cuz the question that you're kind

of playing with is them buying now versus
buying the, the day of cart clothes.

Yeah.

How is it so helpful for them not
to go through that on the fence

thing for another three weeks?

Yeah.

and the, the incentive is the tool
you're using to try to express that.

But I think that you could do it
if you're gonna use the incentive,

you need to have that narrative
to go along with that as well.

Like that, that's my opinion.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I actually like, at least to start
like the challenge of just selling it

from like what you're saying is like go
through, get really clear on why they

wanna buy now with no incentive, with
just what's, why it's better for them.

Like what they get out of signing up
today, the relief that comes with it.

Um, one of the things that just jumped
out to me from what you were saying

is like, one of the things we're
gonna do during our time together is

make really fast empowered decisions.

And like, you get to start that today.

You get to start like practicing
that skill and my, most of my

people hemond haw and like spinning
in decision and all of that.

And like, I used to be that
person too, and that is torturous.

Like, it feels so uncomfortable.

Like just having it in your head.

I used to do that on
consults in the beginning.

I'd talk to people about like the
benefit of, you know, saying yes or

like, that's why we do follow up calls.

So it's not, there's no like murky gray
area and just how terrible that feels.

So that will resonate with them where
they're like, oh, I do that all the time.

I just like overthink things and then it's
like, I should have signed up already.

I didn't sign it.

Like, just save yourself
from that torture.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah.

All right.

Challenge accepted to sell it this way.

Offer something to Olivia.

Yeah.

What might you be missing out on
if they all do sign up in a uniform

way that makes you feel good?

Tell me more about that.

. I love it.

Of course, you're just like the rest
of us that, like, we would like to

see money coming in at a steady rate.

Yeah.

Because then we can use that external
validation to make ourselves feel good.

Right?

Yeah.

So what skill might you develop
for yourself over the next

three weeks if everybody waits
until the last minute to buy?

Yeah.

Jessica McKinley, I can't pronounce her
new last name, but she reached out to

me, she, um, after I got coached by Stacy
last week and she was like, it'd be so

interesting to see how you could channel,
like last year at this time, I was like,

I am walking across that fucking stage.

Like, come hell or High WA
water, like that will happen.

Right.

And I remember I like held belief in it
and I was just like, I am doing this.

There's no question.

And I definitely haven't
felt like that this time.

So it's like almost like this challenge
again to be like, can you actually

believe for three and a half more
weeks or four more weeks, there's like

this external part of it where like,
I have a contract with the hotel for

rooms that I would like, like to fill.

So there's like this external pressure
with this that I feel like didn't exist.

Like if I didn't, I didn't
walk across the stage.

Like it's a bummer, but I don't have
to pay a hotel thousands of dollars.

So like there's this discomfort of
like, I would just like to know right

now that I'm in the clear with that
versus like, Lindsay's nodding her

head If , I'm sure like anyone, oh, I'm
like, oh, I have bad, like you get it.

Right.

But also I'm curious, like when I hear
you say that, I'm like, okay, but if you

believed it was happening like you did
last year, would that discomfort be there?

Yeah.

No.

Right.

Cuz you would believe it's happening.

Mm-hmm.

. Yeah.

Which like my sentence right
now is like, it might, yeah.

So to your point, Melissa, like.

working, having another opportunity
with a new offer to build belief that

it'll happen and that I can sell it.

I think that's another, like there's
doubt there that you can sell it.

That I can sell more of it.

Hmm.

Like enough to get to where I want to go.

Melissa's like, no, that's not a tell
you . It's like you don't have that doubt.

Okay, I'll work on it.

I think you could just, I
mean this for everyone, right?

Like I've also had to work on this
that thought of like, but well,

okay, I could, I know I could sell
it cuz I sold this many, I sold 20

but I couldn't possibly sell 20 more.

Doesn't actually make sense, right?

Cuz it's like if you can
sell it, you can sell it.

So what you just said is like
exactly how I feel right now.

It's like if I sold 21, but
like I can't do 19 more.

Yeah.

So you have to find that space
where you're like, no, no.

If those aren't, those aren't the only
20 people, the only 20 lawyers on Earth

that want this thing that I'm selling.

Yeah.

They're definitely 20 more.

You just haven't told them
why they need to buy it yet.

And you could get real creative
about how you could fill those rooms.

Melissa Parson than . Yeah.

We'll cross that bridge later.

That's different coaching.

First we're gonna believe
it's gonna happen.

Perfect.

Then you figured that out, don't you?

Mid-January, Melissa.

Amazing.

That's right.

All right, I'm good.

Thanks.

You know your work.

All right?

Yeah.

Kelly.

Hello.

I like your shirt.

Thanks.

What do you love coaching on?

I'm gonna lunch too.

Okay.

and.

. And, um, my c is goal
of 15 sold one so far.

Okay.

Cart closes Friday.

Okay.

Cart opened last Friday.

Okay.

And that's where I am.

And so, um, what I've done
differently this time is like the

demand and the staying in belief.

Like, I'm like actively
working that every day.

Um, looking through my marketing
from the perspective of why this is

important to them, less about me.

Um, today the brain definitely wanted
to pull me sideways, brought it back.

Um, but , you have kids, so I don't know
if you ever saw the original monsters ink.

Hmm.

Okay.

And Sully is practicing for the bunk beds.

Yeah.

He was like, who?

That's literally how, that's literally
how I feel in my energy right now.

I'm like, go back, go back.

It's like I, I'm at them and then
I pull myself back and then I'm at

them and then I pull myself back
and this energy back and forth.

I keep trying to tell
myself, oh, this is fine.

I just, this is my new awareness that
instead of like, feeling like I have

to push I can, I'm like, I am actively
trying to like, pull myself back and just

think of being resourceful and problem
solving from a more grounded spot.

And my circumstances still one out of 15.

What does it look like when you,
like, when you say, I try to pull

myself back, what does that mean?

How does that show up in real life?

. Um, so right now it's just pulling
back from the word is like being

aggressive cuz I'm a, I'm a, my
personality is kind of pushy to be just

naturally, I'm a pushy personality.

Mm-hmm.

, um, I say things like they are and,
um, are you trying to not do that A l

I'm trying to not do that a little bit.

Like I'm more aware, I'm just more aware
of the way I'm saying things now than

I have been in the past and I'm falling
back into, I can feel the drift that's

like, here we go again, not working again.

What am I doing wrong this time?

And like, like that energy

is like, it feels like it's right here.

And I'm trying not to fall back
into that energy and yet still stay.

Like I believe there are people,
I, I believe there are people out

there that want what I'm offering.

Mm-hmm.

, I'm completely clear on the
fact that I can help people.

I see it every week, my coaching, and yet
it's like this looming, here we go again.

Keeps trying to occupy

some of my time and then just
approaching it from a place of

giving and serving compared to what,
what I get out of it for myself.

In a result.

It's all jumbled in there cuz
it's like where I am right now.

, how much energy do you think
you're spending trying to like

ride that like middle lane?

Like when you say the
like up and down, right?

Yes.

It sounds, the way you describe it,
you're trying to like control it.

You feel your energy
going, going like that way.

And so you try to bring it back
down or like going down, you try to

bring it back up and it's like this
constant, like whatever you described,

Solly, , how much time are you spending
doing that instead of just kind of

like riding the waves of it and,

um, I dunno how to finish that question,
but do you know what I'm asking?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't think that has been my
predominant place until, I think maybe

today it's starting to show up more.

Like I've been, I feel like I've been
quote unquote like holding, holding my

own , so to speak, um, from the problem
solving perspective and thinking what else

I need to say, what else do I need to do?

And

yeah,

like I have a list of things that
I will still do and I'm also not

trying, actively trying to keep myself
in belief while taking the actions.

That's the, that's what
I'm trying to ride.

And also believing that
my result can change.

What are your thoughts?

, the Kelly that is a little pushy and that
is a little like over the top and is a

little like, well, I love her to tell
you how it's, she's who I am, period.

I don't ever question who
I am as a human being.

Yeah.

Just feel like you're trying to,
like, you're holding that back or

like there's some kind of like, no,
I think it's less about me holding

that version of me back and more of

curbing the version of
me that's in disbelief.

What does that version of you look like?

When she's in full belief or in at
least partially like two-thirds belief?

When she's in full belief,
we're partially partial belief.

Um, she's just, she's lighter.

Even, even the pushy version of me is
just, it's, it's, it's me, but lighter.

Mm-hmm.

, um,

just, she's just like,
this is my work today.

This is what I'm doing today.

This is what I have planned today.

Um, and then

it's like uncoupling the R line and the
belief and still holding the belief.

Mm-hmm.

do you think that you're doing that now?

I think I'm just trying to hold the belief

and take action from
not aggressive energy.

That's, that's it.

Okay.

I, does anyone else want
to coach Kelly on this?

I feel very distracted by like, I just
wanna say , that I think you're like not

letting yourself out and just like, let
me figure this out because I'm a badass

and I know what I'm doing like this.

Even the way you describe it to me.

Can you say that again?

Can you say that again?

Yeah.

It's like just the way you, this is
not coaching, this is totally biased,

but just the way you say it to me and
because I've coached you on this so

many times, it just feels like you're
so like measured and like here's how

it is and I must be calm and this like
badass version of me can't come out.

Like I'm not allowed to like be this
thing and be in belief cuz it might be

a little pushy or it might be a little
whatever, but like that worked before.

When you're fully owned, that
that's who you are and that that's

who you get to be in a launch.

When you're believing it, when you're
not believing it, when you are like,

no matter where you fall on that
spectrum, you still get to be her.

You don't have to fear the like, oh,
but what if it's like a little graspy?

Who cares?

We're all a little graspy sometimes.

This isn't even like what
I would say to everyone.

I just feel like for you specifically,
it's just like I'm just holding

it in and everything's gonna be
calm and this is gonna be fine.

what comes up when I say that,

I think I'm just hitting a frustration
point of I've tried to do this so

many different ways and it's like,
I think the underlying thought is

it's just not fricking working.

No matter what I do, what I say, what
I don't say, how I show up, how I don't

show up, how many days I launch, how
many days I don't launch, how many

days I sit and believe how many days
I don't sit and believe how many days

I don't wanna get up in the morning,
but I get myself up in the morning.

How many walks I go on, how many
days I think about my clients,

how many times like I'm just like,

like there is literally a piece of me
that just wants to put it the fuck down

cause it feels like trying too hard.

So I wanna offer something.

I was like recently in this like really
frustrated energy and like I think people

can like go in different directions.

I get frustrated, I don't get sad,
but like one of the things from

being in a room with you for a couple
rounds now is like, I think there's

a lot of sadness in your business
and like how do you get rid of that?

Like how do you get back to a place
where like you, because I think selling

from sad or selling from frustrated is
never gonna create what we want it to.

And like I keep, I kept trying to do
everything and I was finally like, I

am not one to self-coach very often
just cuz I am an action taker and I can

normally stay pretty like high energy.

And I was like the, literally the only
thing left is for me to address these.

and I sat down and I like, this
is what I wrote out last Monday.

No one else wants this.

No one is gonna buy.

I've exhausted my demand.

What I'm doing won't make a difference.

My audience doesn't want this.

I don't know why they aren't buying.

My program isn't very good.

I don't know how to sell anymore spots.

What I'm doing isn't working.

I need better social media
stuff to be more compelling.

They don't wanna spend the money.

They're ruining my plan.

They should be signing up with me.

There aren't 10 people in
my audience that wanna buy.

I've given them everything I have.

I have nothing left to give them.

This should have worked by now.

And like look at my notebook.

What's happening was, I know . That's
pretty much my, and I was like,

I don't, and for the record, I
don't have sadness in my business.

Frustration, yeah.

Tears are my version of frustration.

Frustration, okay.

Yeah.

So finding like where you are
gonna be in it for the fun of

it or like the challenge of it.

Cuz like I think this is gonna be our
work at every single level of like you

set a goal and you don't hit it and
you have to figure out how to hit it.

And like that is just
a perpetual challenge.

And where I see people struggle
with that, it's like you have to

kind of fall in love with that.

Mm-hmm.

. And like if you can get your place
I, if you can get yourself to a point

where you're like, all right, this
kind of sucks and I don't love feeling

frustrated, but like this is the game.

Mm-hmm.

and then cleaning up like the list of
super negative thoughts and like trying it

without them or without the frustration.

It's just what I've been doing myself.

I wanted to offer that.

Okay.

All right.

I think I got what I needed.

Thank you.

Have you listened to
the relaunching podcast?

Yes.

I would be curious, cuz I've listened
to it like three times and noticed

so many thoughts that I was having
about like not filling my launch.

And I know that you're not necessarily
relaunching, but I think the same things

can happen from launch to launch, right?

Like if you don't hit a goal in one
launch and then you're like launching

again however many months later,
even if it's not like a relaunch,

you can still take thoughts with you.

Like things that you were just
saying, like, here we go again.

Those types of thoughts.

Yeah.

And I think those thoughts
create so much pain.

They do.

Like when, for anyone, right?

One thing that Stacy said in that
podcast that blew my mind was like,

you never relaunch as a punishment.

And I was like, I'm sorry, what?

No, it's obviously a punishment.

Like I didn't fill the first
launch, so now I have to relaunch.

Right?

And just seeing that for me, like
unlocked so much like then it just kind

of came pouring out of like, oh, here
are all the thoughts under that one.

Mm-hmm.

. And I would be curious for you,
because this has come up for like

a couple launches of like, what
are you bringing with you, right?

Of like, this didn't go like I wanted
it to and instead of, and I just love

you so much and I know that like how
much people need your offer and how much

people need this and that you are an
incredible coach and I hate seeing you

beat yourself up with like, I think it's
just stuff that you're bringing with you.

Yeah.

And I really, I honestly, I didn't
think I brought any of it with me.

I thought I had cleared that all up and
I just, I kind of, I almost like decided

that this launch was like launch number
one for 2023, like in my brain, right?

Like I, I've left everything else behind.

I've learned every launch,
I've learned something from it.

Hmm.

And I, I don't really think I brought that
with me until like, literally today it

start, like it started to seep back in.

Yeah.

And so I don't, again, I
don't know if that's it.

I think I, I might just, I, I think
I literally just got what I needed.

I think I'm just in the muck of it and
I just need to verbalize it out loud.

Okay.

And that literally might
just be all I had to do.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like, I'm in the shit right
now, and sometimes this is like,

sometimes we just are Right.

Especially during a lunch.

Especially when it's not going.

Exactly.

Especially unless you want it to.

Yeah.

I think that literally might have
been just, I just need to express it.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, all right.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

One thing that, I'll just say this really
quick in case it's helpful for you, Kelly,

or for anybody, is that I think when you
are in a launch and you're trying to hold

that space between the up and down, right?

You're trying to like, okay, I'm in
belief, like I can keep going, I can,

whatever the thoughts are that you're
trying to kind of stay like level and,

you know, put the drama aside and just
like solve for what's actually happening.

I think that sometimes we can push some
of those thoughts to the back and then

when we're, when our energy is worn down,
they just all come pouring out, right?

Like, okay, here are all my real
thoughts about what's happening.

Instead of like writing the wave and
feeling the emotions as you go, which

sometimes isn't as fun, but can be
a lot more useful than just like,

holding it and putting it in the
background and like never addressing it.

Okay.

Jasmine?

Hello.

Hey.

Hi.

I wanna say real quick, uh, to, with
regard to Kellyann, . Um, I'm a person

who, when something I, I guess she left,
but I'll say this anyway cuz of time,

but I'm a person when I, yeah, sorry.

, I'm a person that feels, uh, it
isn't that I feel sad, it's grief.

What I feel is grief when things aren't
like going the way I want them to.

And I just wanted to throw this out
there just cuz she had said that.

And, and like internally, cuz I'm
the person who feels it, I would

bristle it sad, but it is grief.

And um, and the thing that I
have been, I have been right

where I just witnessed you.

Like I, I feel you.

And, um, I realize that I'm grieving
who I thought I'd be in something.

Um, anyway, I just wanted to
share that and like put that out

there because that's something
that I feel in those experiences.

And what I realized was that I,
um, do a lot of action, but the

whole time I'm actually, it's
like I, it's like existential.

I'm trying to be, anyway, I just,
if it resonates, it resonates.

But I just really, I have been there and
the, I have done a bunch of work around

it to take it to grief, which feels highly
dramatic and yet is accurate for me.

I don't, I don't think that's dramatic
in my feelings out of control.

Like, it's not even frustrated.

I pinpointed out of control last week
cuz like, there's literally part of

it that like, I control a lot, but
there's part of it that I can't control

and like, I just hate that part.

Like it's really frustrating that like,
I can't make them put their credit

card information into the little form.

It's frustrating.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I too am in a launch and, um, I
actually just had coaching like, uh,

one-on-one coaching right before this.

And so the thing that I'm still.

Like doing in my head.

Is that okay?

Uh, quick Cs, is that, um, I'm,
I'm working to get 10 spots.

I have until the 23rd of this month.

Um, I have not all the contracts
have come through yet today, but I

have four, so I have, I have some
time and I got six spots left.

I felt okay.

I don't know how to overcome
this objection, and I'm not,

I'm not necessarily looking for
strategy more like mentally.

I don't know how to overcome it.

And it, is this the problem that
people keep saying, and I've heard

this for years, and I just don't know,
I'm, I'm just coming to realization.

I don't know how to answer it.

They think they aren't ready and
that they need to do something

and then they'll be ready.

So like this idea like, oh, I just need
to get two clients, or I guess need to get

more clients and, um, fill in the blank.

It's not always that, but it's
always, I need to do something

and then I'll be ready.

Mm-hmm.

. And I know there's a solution, but I
don't know what it's . When you say

overcome it, do you mean like in your
marketing or like on a, like doing a

consult with people who are joining?

In my brain, honestly.

It's like deeper than that.

Like, um, well, it's always
in your brain, right?

But I'm just curious, like where
are you, where is this I Objection.

Coming to you.

Usually it come, I mean,
it comes in various places.

It comes when, you know, they're
DMing me or in a call or, you know,

I, I, I hear this, some version of
this, a bunch of different ways.

Mm-hmm.

and, um, I don't feel like I'm, I
feel like I'm able to, like, I ask

questions and we go through it.

It's like, I think I'm believing it.

Hmm.

and what happens when you believe it?

Well then I think, oh, they can't come in.

Or I'm an Enneagram three.

So then my brain just is like, ah, well if
you're too dumb to get over that, right?

It's like that brain , that's great.

Like, I'm like, not literally,
but I'm exaggerating it.

But like, yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Like I get into this.

Yeah.

I assume you don't say that to them.

No, no . Yeah.

No.

Um, and I don't even truly think
that it's more just like it's

frustration like Olivia said.

Okay.

Like makes me, let's use the example
of I just need to like sign two

clients and then I'll do this thing.

What part of that are you, well, first
of all, is that like a pre prerequisite?

Like, do they have to have
a certain number of clients?

No.

No.

Okay.

Why are they thinking
they do, to afford it?

To justify the payment.

And like, uh, it's funny cuz I
think it was Denise, so I have a

$10,000 mastermind for your audience.

That is, that's what I've done now
for many, many, many, many years.

So just so you know, they're out there.

Um, but this is what they're saying.

So here, listen, um, basically, you
know, they're like, listen, don't give

her any more proof that they don't
have the money to afford the third.

Right?

Like, there's no proof
that this, this is it.

Well, I've sold a million
dollars at that level.

So they, they're, they're doing
it, but it's 1500 a month.

And so they have immediately thank
two clients or whatever it, you

know, it's, they do the math.

Why would they be ready
if they sold two clients?

They'd have the first payment, which
does not guarantee second payment.

But that's how they think.

But why do you believe it?

It's not that I.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's not that I believe that it's
that I believe that they can't get

over that, that that is what they,
they need in order to come in.

Does that make sense?

The nuance of that?

I don't believe they need the two clients.

Yeah.

So what do you think they need to feel?

So like if they, they do that thing,
they, let's say they sign two clients.

They have a thought about that.

They feel a certain way.

What is that?

Safety.

What's like the model of it?

Safety.

They feel safety.

They safe.

Yeah.

Okay.

Think that they can justify.

So how do you create that without
them changing their circumstances?

Well, I was doing this as we were like
going through coach, just like writing

down ideas that came from everybody
else's wonderful coaching today.

So I like, I was coming up with
a bunch of things that feel

like they're in the A line.

So like, oh, I can do a case study
on this client and I can do a

different case study on that client.

Like, people who had great
success but didn't feel ready.

Cuz who feels ready when
they invest in anything.

And I guess is that maybe I'm trying to
solve a problem that doesn't need solved.

Is that just what I need to do?

Cuz that's what I'm doing.

I'm, I wouldn't solve for the a
line, I would solve for the T line.

Right.

Like if you know what they wanna feel
as safety, what are the thoughts that

they need to have that aren't like
right now you're like, okay, well

yeah, if they, if this circumstance
changed, then they would have these

thoughts, then they would feel safe.

The, the A line would be
then they buy the thing.

What thoughts make them
feel safe enough to buy?

Because we know as coaches, they
could sell like five clients.

Right.

And that won't necessarily,
it might create like temporary

safety of like, oh, I made.

$2,000 or you know, whatever.

Now I can like afford this thing, but
we know that that's not gonna last.

Cuz then if they don't solve
two more clients the next

month to make the payment.

Right.

Like that's a Right.

Like a bandaid on a
wound or whate whatever.

Whatever the saying is, . Yeah.

Right.

So if you think about that, right?

Like what thoughts for them create
the safety and how can they find

those without thinking, oh, I
have to do this thing first.

Yeah.

So in the model, they're going to
the A and they're skipping the T.

Yeah.

They're thinking, and
we're all guilty of this.

I actually got called out hardcore on
this the other day on a 2 million call.

They were like, so wait, you think
your results create your, like you need

the results to create that thought.

To have that thought I'm feeling.

And I was like, oh yeah, I
guess that's like backwards.

Right?

And that's what they're doing.

They're like, if I feel safe first,
or if I do this thing first, if

I change my circumstances, then
it will make sense if I do this.

Mm-hmm.

, because I can feel
differently about myself.

I can have different thoughts
and I can buy the thing.

Which actually if we get really
deep, is actually the reason

they're not making money.

Hundred percent.

They constantly think they
have to change the situation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And sometimes that's just like
a slight adjustment, right?

Even in your marketing and wherever,
like showing them that that's kind

of the, the cycle that they're in is
like, you think you have to create this

result first in order to create safety.

I'm gonna show you and
just as an example, right?

But like I'm gonna show you
how to create safety so you

can create different results.

I totally do that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's what I needed.

Sure you do, right?

Like most of us probably do that, but it.

Like you, so your work is like,
okay, how do I explain that to them?

How do I help them see this?

How do I create it in order
for them to buy the thing?

Yeah, I do that, but I don't think about
it like on the front end, like before.

Right.

It's like all the safety is sitting
behind a paywall and so like

only the brave can get through.

Yeah.

. Oh yeah.

That's so interesting.

Right?

Because it really aligns
with like, oh, of course.

So then, yeah, they think,
well, in order to be brave,

first I have to do this thing.

Right?

They might not be as aware of
that thought, but it's like if

that's kind of the, what you're
putting out, that's the energy that

you're selling it with, then yeah.

They're like, well, I'll be brave
once I sign two clients, then I can

get through, then I can make the
payment, then I'll do the thing.

Yeah.

The switch here for me is, was
what actions do I need to take to

make them feel safe enough to buy?

And what you just kinda shifted me to is
what thoughts are th like would make them

feel safe enough to buy their thoughts.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And there might be actions
involved there, right?

But you wanna start with that and
like, okay then what does my, you know,

what, what thoughts do I need to have?

What's my model that makes that in my
action line of like creating safety

for them, showing them how to create
this safety before they do the thing

that they think they need to do.

Yeah.

I need to clean up my entire
thought process there cuz I get

frustrated and then it's just like
almost internal eye roll reaction.

And that of course is gonna go, and
I will say for all of you, I would

never go to like problem solving.

This kind of goes, a lot of you
brought this up in some way.

I would never go to problem
solving for like the one person

that sends you the message, right?

How do I create safety for this person?

Like how do I convince this person?

How do I respond to this instead?

I would think of it bigger picture.

Okay, if this person's thinking it,
other people are also thinking it.

How do I address this in general?

in my marketing because that
one person is never gonna buy.

They're like, I promise you,
I've had so many people tell me,

oh, well, as soon as I do this,
then I'm joining your mastermind.

I don't think that has ever
happened, like literally ever.

I'm like, why do you send these messages?

They're so strange.

. Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome.

All right, friends.

I think today's the last one, right?

Last time I'll see you,
or is there one more?

One more.

Okay, good.

Perfect.

I will see you.

Happy your birthday, Lindsay.

Oh, thank you.

Who said that?

Debbie?

Thank you, Debbie.

You're welcome.

Enjoy your day.

Thank you.

I will see you all in a few weeks.