Agnostic plus Jesus - Jeremy Duncan

What if your doubts don’t disqualify you from faith?

In Mark 9, a father brings Jesus an honest prayer: “I believe; help my unbelief.” His story invites us to let go of perfection, make room for uncertainty, and take the next step toward the future we hope for.

From the mountaintop transfiguration to Jesus’ compassion in the valley, this message explores how hope becomes tangible in ordinary life—and why imperfect faith is enough to begin.

You don’t have to believe perfectly to belong. Bring your questions, your hope, and whatever faith you have today.

Scripture: Mark 9:2–7, 14–18, 20–24

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Sermons from Commons Church. Intellectually honest. Spiritually passionate. Jesus at the centre. Since 2014.

Jeremy Duncan: 00:00

You don't have to arrive to begin, and you don't have to believe perfectly to belong. You don't have to use any label to justify your journey here in this room. You just have to be willing to take the next step in front of you. We are gonna start the season with a series about learning to listen. Now today, we're gonna talk about learning to listen to ourselves, to our hearts, Then it will be strangers and neighbors and nature and scripture and even those ancestors in the faith that have come before us and set the stage for us.

Jeremy Duncan: 00:35

But I think that perhaps in an era where everyone wants to be a content creator, maybe learning to listen is more important than ever. And so that's where we're gonna start season thirteen. But first, let's pray. God of gracious love, as we begin this new season together, would you quiet the noise around us, perhaps still the noise within us, teach us once again how to listen well, how to listen to the wisdom of our own hearts and to the voices of our neighbors, to the world that you've made, and to the quiet movement of your spirit near us, around us, surrounding us always. And once we have heard, would you then help give us the courage to take the next faithful step in our story even if it feels unfinished.

Jeremy Duncan: 01:29

And maybe when that scares us a bit, perhaps even when we can't see yet exactly where it will land. But through it all, would you remind us to be gentle with ourselves and with each other, open to new surprises along the way, and ready to follow wherever the season ahead calls us. In the strong name of the risen Christ we pray. Amen. Today, we wanna start a new season together by learning to listen to our hearts.

Jeremy Duncan: 02:04

And we're gonna talk about a little excitement, the fear of failure, some kind of metamorphosis, and our unbelief on the way toward our belief. But to start all that, I wanna tell you a story. My daughter is six years old, just started grade one actually, and she's loving it by the way. So shout out to all the teachers in the room that help us through all these important transitions in life. But a couple weeks ago, she and her brother, who usually get along quite nicely, were having a bit of a dust up.

Jeremy Duncan: 02:35

Now generally, I'll say this. My kids get along pretty well. There's a six year gap between our kids, and sometimes that presents some challenges. For one, you think you're out of the diaper stage of life. You've moved on from that part, and all of a sudden, they drag you back in.

Jeremy Duncan: 02:50

But on the other hand, in some ways, I do think that gap makes it a little easier for siblings to get along together. Right? Like, there's a little more grace, a little more understanding, and yet inevitably, sibling interactions still sometimes break down. And so a couple weeks ago, my son and my daughter were on each other's nerves, and tensions were high, and emotions flared. And in the heat of frustration, my daughter kicked the multi pane glass door that separates our living room from the front entry.

Jeremy Duncan: 03:23

Now I was in the kitchen at the time, but I heard the smash. And even before I could turn to look, heard the tears. Now thankfully, my daughter did not hurt herself at all. She kicked straight through a pane of glass. It shattered, scared her tremendously.

Jeremy Duncan: 03:38

She didn't have a nick on her. So feeling very grateful for that, I didn't have any time to get upset about the broken window. I just rushed over, scooped her up, and tried to comfort her as she became aware of the magnitude of her actions. Now eventually, the sob subsided and her breathing slowed. And in my arms, she turned to me and said, daddy, that was very scary.

Jeremy Duncan: 04:01

And then she paused and added, and a little bit exciting. The thing is, I was not interested in condoning future glass kicking adventures, so I did my best to conceal my smile, but I knew what she was talking about. Right? Like, is a little bit exciting to do things that scare us a bit. That's why we like horror movies and roller coasters and apparently kicking down glass doors.

Jeremy Duncan: 04:28

And my contention is that while no one should be kicking down glass doors, at least not literally. Metaphorically, go for it, and maybe that's my point here. All of us should do something once in a while that scares us a little bit. Right? Not just because it gets the blood pumping, but because it helps us to get to the something that's exciting for all of us.

Jeremy Duncan: 04:51

Thing is in real life, I think what actually stops us sometimes is not so much the fear of trying something new. It's often the fear of not doing that something new perfectly. Sometimes we talk about FOMO. Right? Like the fear of missing out.

Jeremy Duncan: 05:06

I think there's another fear that stops us sometimes. A fear that convinces us we'd rather miss out entirely than fail spectacularly. And I've got a phrase that I use for myself whenever I run up against that fear in my life. It's this, veggie with bacon. See, I'm a vegetarian.

Jeremy Duncan: 05:26

I have been for almost two decades now. I try not to talk about it all that much, but you know what they say. How do you know someone's a vegetarian? Don't worry. They'll tell you.

Jeremy Duncan: 05:35

Thing is, I have not eaten meat in about two decades. But a couple months ago, I was in a hurry, so I went to the drive through at the A and W, and I ordered their plant based veggie burger. And over the loudspeaker, the voice came back, says, do you want cheese with that? And I eat cheese, so I say, sure. I'll take the cheese.

Jeremy Duncan: 05:53

And then perhaps on autopilot, the attendant responds, do you want to add bacon for a dollar more? And I paused, and I thought about it. So I said back, do have a lot of people ordering veggie burgers with bacon? And the person on the other end laughed, and they punched in my order, and I drove around, and I got my food. But as I was driving away munching on my cheese laden veggie burger, I thought to myself, why isn't a veggie with bacon on the menu?

Jeremy Duncan: 06:17

I mean, what if someone just genuinely wants to cut down their meat consumption? Maybe their doctor has asked them to reduce their red meat, but they just really love bacon. Apparently, that's a thing. Wouldn't a veggie with bacon get them farther toward that goal than, say, a quarter pounder? So my question is, why do I why why do all of us have this fascination with a label like vegetarian that somehow supersedes real concrete tangible steps toward where we want to go.

Jeremy Duncan: 06:47

Now, maybe you don't want to cut down your meat consumption. Maybe you love a lot more than just bacon. That's fine. This is not a sermon about dietary restrictions. Vegging with bacon is just my way of reminding myself that taking small tangible movements toward our goals is a heck of a lot better than dreaming about the day we get there without any intermediate steps.

Jeremy Duncan: 07:11

In fact, maybe we're afraid of the wrong things. Maybe a whole bunch of small failures in the same direction is exactly what will get us to where we want to be. So, as self appointed spokesperson for all the vegetarians of the world, go ahead, order yourself a veggie with bacon. It's fine. It's on the menu now.

Jeremy Duncan: 07:33

Now, it's silly. I get it. Thing is, almost anything important in your life is going to follow a similar path. You're gonna have to do it badly before you do it well. And maybe you're here, and it's a new season, and it feels like a chance for a new start, and maybe it feels like there's something missing.

Jeremy Duncan: 07:55

So you wandered into church to see if this is where you might find it. But maybe identifying yourself as a Christian still feels like a bridge too far for you right now. Or maybe that's because of past experiences in church. It didn't go well. Or maybe current doubts.

Jeremy Duncan: 08:14

You're just not sure. Perhaps it's even about those imagined future failures. I don't know. It's all fine though. Call yourself an agnostic with Jesus if you want.

Jeremy Duncan: 08:25

Because the labels we use for ourselves are not nearly as important as the journeys that we start. And the truth is faith, whatever it is, is rarely a finished story. It's almost always something more like a veggie with bacon. And the story I wanna talk about today is all about that kind of a journey. It's in Mark nine, and we'll get to the good stuff in a moment here, but there is a little bit of setup that's important for when the story lands.

Jeremy Duncan: 08:55

Mark nine opens with something we call the transfiguration, and honestly, it's kind of a strange story. Jesus takes Peter and James and John, sort of a core of his inner circle up on a mountain with him. And there alone with them, Jesus was quote, transfigured before them. His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone could bleach them in the world. And there appeared before them Elijah and Moses who are just talking with Jesus.

Jeremy Duncan: 09:22

So Peter says, Rabbi, this is very cool. We should stay here. Let's build some shelters. One for you, one for Moses, one for Elijah. Not sure where Peter thought he was gonna stay.

Jeremy Duncan: 09:32

But if you read that, you're like, okay, that sounds kind of silly. Just know it sounded silly to Mark too. This is what he writes next. Look, he didn't know what to say. He was just frightened.

Jeremy Duncan: 09:41

But even before they can pitch a tent, a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came saying, this is my son whom I love. Listen to him. Now before we move on, let's talk about this transfiguration. What is that all about? Well, the Greek word here is metamorphothe.

Jeremy Duncan: 10:03

Obviously, where we get our English word metamorphosis from, and it really just means to change form. So what does that mean here? Well, the way to think about this is not that Jesus all of a sudden looked like a different person. Obviously, they still recognize him. No.

Jeremy Duncan: 10:22

The intent of this story is to suggest that the disciples are getting to see Jesus in his final form. Now, if that makes you think of Pokemon, actually not a bad analogy. Because the idea here is that the disciples are getting a glimpse of the kingdom evolved, that Jesus in his glory. That's the traditional language that we use. But the idea is the disciples are getting to see what the world will look like ahead of history.

Jeremy Duncan: 10:49

Once it's finally healed, everything made right. That's what this story is about. And that's important actually because this moment isn't about Jesus all of a sudden becoming super handsome on the top of a mountain. Like long hair, backlit, blowing as his robe billows in a gentle breeze here. No.

Jeremy Duncan: 11:12

This story is about hope. It's about the disciples beginning to actually believe that a world transformed by the way of Jesus is a tangible possibility, something they can see. This week in my reading, I came across an old dusty academic book from fifty years ago. But this book was titled, The Analogical Imagination, Christian Theology, and the Culture of Pluralism by the Catholic theologian, David Tracy. And in the book, Tracy argues that the Christian tradition teaches us, it trains us really to see the world as if the sacred is constantly breaking through into the ordinary, and that teaches us about what could be possible in the ordinary.

Jeremy Duncan: 12:03

So he argues that over time, as people of faith, we slowly develop the skill to recognize patterns that suggest transformation is possible here. Or in other words, we learn to notice where things could be different in the world. Now it was actually an agnostic professor named Liz Bukar who put me onto this, and she was using it to argue that part of the problem with our politics today is our societal step back from religious traditions. We're losing the collective muscle memory to have faith and hope in what's possible. In other words, without religion, we're all slowly becoming too cynical for our own good.

Jeremy Duncan: 12:43

But she describes Tracy's argument this way. Christianity teaches people how to look at the world as it is and simultaneously hold in their minds what it could become. Not through fantasy or denial, but through disciplined attention to what reality itself suggests is possible. Tracy called this the one finite hope of liberation to the essential, but I'll call it this, the ability to work for something you can't yet prove. This is that kind of a story.

Jeremy Duncan: 13:19

It is a sacred, mystical experience that can't be proven that is shaping the disciples' imagination for what is tangibly possible in the concrete world. And what's interesting is that right after we read about this voice from the cloud saying, this is my son. Listen to him. The next thing we read is that instead of building those tents to hang out on the mountaintop together, Jesus has them all heading back down the hill. Almost as if Jesus isn't all that interested in staying in sacred moments.

Jeremy Duncan: 13:51

He wants to drive the analogy in our imagination down into the valley, so to speak. What happens? Well, verse 14. When they came down to where the other disciples had been waiting, they saw a large crowd gathered around them and teachers of the law arguing with them. Soon as the people saw Jesus though, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

Jeremy Duncan: 14:16

So he asked, what are guys fighting about? And before they could answer, a man in the crowd spoke up. Teacher, I brought you my son who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of his speech. Whenever it seizes him, throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth and gnashes his teeth.

Jeremy Duncan: 14:31

He becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to help, but they couldn't do anything for me. Let's talk about analogies here. Is this a story about spirits and demons? Sure.

Jeremy Duncan: 14:44

Is that all this story is about? I think that's selling it far short. Because here we're presented with the analogy of the transfigured Jesus, an image that points us to the world made right, and then immediately followed by an image of a young boy completely innocent and yet oppressed from birth, an analogy that points us back to the world as it really is all around us. Like, this is not random. These two stories don't just happen to butt up against each other in the text.

Jeremy Duncan: 15:16

The question being posed here is, how are these two images ever going to meet? And what do we learn? Well first we learn that without some kind of sacred religious experience, real progress is really hard. Those disciples that didn't go up the mountain, they're kind of lost here. At one point Jesus even says to them, oh I see the problem.

Jeremy Duncan: 15:39

You can only fix this kind of thing with prayer. Now setting aside the fact those disciples didn't even think to pray about this, which would be kind of amusing if not a little depressing. What is prayer if not? An appeal to a possibility you can't manufacture on your own. I mean even in desperation prayer is fundamentally a hopeful posture.

Jeremy Duncan: 16:03

It's a faith that today is not all there is, and they can't even pull that out of the bag. But really, that's just preamble Because in verse 20, the story reaches for its crescendo. They bring the boy to Jesus and when the spirit sees him, it immediately throws the boy into convulsions. He falls to the ground and rolls around foaming at the mouth. So Jesus asks the boy's father, how long has he been like this?

Jeremy Duncan: 16:35

From childhood, the man answered. It's often thrown him into fire or water to try to kill him, but if you can do anything take pity on us and help. By the way, I wanna pause here quickly. Notice how Jesus is asking personal questions in the midst of this moment? Like, there's a lot going on here.

Jeremy Duncan: 16:55

There's a child in distress. There's disciples that are frustrated. There are religious leaders that are arguing. There's a crowd that's crushing in to see what's going on here. And the middle of it all, Jesus is slowing down just enough to hear this man to understand this child.

Jeremy Duncan: 17:12

He wants to respond to more than just a crisis, but to actual human beings that are being affected by it. Like, I think sometimes we wanna rush too quickly through these moments, eager to get to the climax, and sometimes we miss the fact that the transfigured Jesus, the glory of Jesus we're always looking for. I think maybe most clear in Jesus, quiet compassion extended in real time to real human beings. Maybe that's what we're looking for. But Jesus responds to the man's desperation.

Jeremy Duncan: 17:47

If you can, he says, everything is possible to the one who believes. And immediately the boy's father exclaimed, I do believe. Can you help me overcome my unbelief? For my money, is one of the most beautiful phrases anywhere in scripture. And don't get me wrong.

Jeremy Duncan: 18:10

I understand why other people might prefer other verses. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians four three. That's a good one. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength and rise on wings like eagles.

Jeremy Duncan: 18:24

Isaiah four thirty one. Maybe this one. Through Christ's love, we are more than conquerors. That's Romans eight thirty seven. All fine choices, but for me, those verses still feel aspirational in a way that this verse completely bypasses.

Jeremy Duncan: 18:43

I never need to live up to this verse. I wake up to it every single day. And sometimes, it is about my beliefs. Like, do I believe I can trust the Bible in 2026? Do I know that Jesus is the son of God?

Jeremy Duncan: 19:05

What do I think about this or that particular atonement theory? Some sometimes it's about my own life. Like, do I believe that I can be a better husband than I was last week? Do I know that I can do better as a dad than I did yesterday? Can I honestly watch myself fail in the same way over and over again and really think tomorrow will be any different?

Jeremy Duncan: 19:32

Sometimes it's just about the world. Like, do I really believe God is watching all of this and still cares? Or do I think that we as humanity can actually learn from our mistakes this time? Do I have confidence that the way of peace can save us from ourselves? And yet still, every morning I get up and whether it is my religious convictions or my personal life or my hope for the world around us, I tell myself I do believe.

Jeremy Duncan: 20:02

I have to believe, so I will believe. I just need a little bit of help again today to believe this time. And here's what I love about this story. We never actually hear the father get any farther than I do every morning. He doesn't work himself up to any kind of certainty.

Jeremy Duncan: 20:27

He doesn't fix this doubt and then qualify for the future he hopes for. Just simply listens to his heart, and he says the true thing out loud in front of everyone. I believe and I don't. So here's all of it with open hands. And remarkably, it's enough.

Jeremy Duncan: 20:54

Jesus speaks to the spirit and drives it out and the boy convulses and he goes still. In fact, he's so limp the crowd starts to think the worst, but then Jesus reaches down and he takes him by the hand and he lifts him up. The really neat thing here is that Mark uses the same word that he will reach for later at the empty tomb. He says the boy rose. And it's like this little mini resurrection in the middle of the ordinary mess down in the valley on the way toward the healing of all things.

Jeremy Duncan: 21:26

But remember that question we asked? How are these two stories ever gonna meet? The transfigured Jesus. The world finally made right. This broken boy, the world exactly as it is.

Jeremy Duncan: 21:39

Here's our answer. They do not meet in a moment of perfect faith. They meet in a father who can only manage to listen to his heart and be honest with himself about what it says. And somehow, the glory on the mountaintop comes all the way down, touches the valley floor through the cracked open prayer of a dad who finds himself running on literally nothing but fumes. Because that's our story.

Jeremy Duncan: 22:14

The kingdom doesn't wait for any of us to get it together. It shows up in the honest half prayers of all of us who have almost given up in the faltering half steps we muster the courage to take toward the people that we want to become. Liz Buchar called this, the ability to work for something we can't yet prove. That might be the best definition of faith I've heard. Because faith has never been about the proven thing, the finished thing.

Jeremy Duncan: 22:47

It's always the veggie with bacon, the agnostic with Jesus, the showing up on Sunday when the word Christian still feels like a bridge too far for you. Faith is only ever the next step toward the future you're starting to believe in taken before you can see how it all comes together. It is the trust that enough small failures in the same direction can stack up to change the world. And so, as we begin this new season together, full of exciting and let's be honest, scary things like new parishes that take us in new directions because we believe that neighborhoods can be made sacred. As we learn to listen to our hearts and that quiet tug towards something new, whatever that looks like for you this season.

Jeremy Duncan: 23:52

Here's what I want us to hear together. You don't have to arrive to begin, And you don't have to believe perfectly to belong. You don't have to use any label to justify your journey here in this room. You just have to be willing to take the next step in front of you, knowing that it might be scary right now, but it might end up a little bit exciting tomorrow. Because everything is possible for the one who believes.

Jeremy Duncan: 24:26

Everyone is possible for the one who is even willing to whisper, I think I believe. Lord, help my unbelief. Let's pray. God, as we stand together at the start of a new season, school back in swing, work back in full motion, new ideas bubbling around in front of us, some of them that feel intimidating and too large. We pray that in the midst of all of that, we would be able to listen to our hearts and the way that your spirit is with us right now speaking to us, calling us forward into one step and then another toward the person we want to become, toward the person you have fashioned us to be.

Jeremy Duncan: 25:17

And then might we slowly begin to trust, to have faith, to believe that enough of those steps faltering in half as they are stacked up can move us back toward the center of your love. The grounding at the center of the universe, the character that you want us to step into, the person you created us to be. May all of that movement, those steps, that trust, that fear, that courage slowly draws back to you. In the strong name of the risen Christ we pray. Amen.

Jeremy Duncan: 26:02

Hey, Jeremy here, and thanks for listening to our podcast. If you're intrigued by the work that we're doing here at Commons, you can head to our website, commons.church, for more information. You can find us on all of the socials CommonsChurch. You can subscribe to our YouTube channel, where we are posting content regularly for the community. You can also join our Discord server.

Jeremy Duncan: 26:23

Head to commons.churchdiscord for the invite, and there you will find the community having all kinds of conversations about how we can encourage each other to follow the way of Jesus. We would love to hear from you. Anyway, thanks for tuning in. Have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.