41 Charles Atlas, and his best gal Sal

This one-act play script, Charles Atlas and his Best Gal Sal, presents a behind-the-scenes look at a classic carnival strongman act, focusing on the personalities and drama of the performers and crew.

"Charles Atlas and his Best Gal Sal": Step right up for a hilarious and heartfelt look behind the curtain of the "Strongest Man in the World" carnival attraction. Charles Atlas and his "Best Gal Sal" put on a show of incredible strength and wholesome American values for the rubes, but backstage, the rubber bars, Styrofoam bowling balls, and their dramatic, complicated personal lives are exposed. The show's director, PT, and stage manager, Carol, desperately try to inject "real drama" and "suspense" into the predictable routine, leading to an unexpected on-stage meltdown that reveals the emotional truth of their relationship. This one-act play explores the tension between performance and reality, the price of fame, and the raw, unscripted drama of a very human relationship under the big top.

🎭 Major Themes

• Appearance vs. Reality / Performance vs. Authenticity: The show is an act—Charles's strength is based on a rubber bar and Styrofoam balls, and his persona is a "Mountain of a Man" but his relationship is fragile. The audience is being given what they expect, not what's real.
• The Nature of Theater/Entertainment: The crew debates the value of a predictable "show" versus "drama" or "real theater". PT wants to create suspense and unpredictability, while Carol is focused on what the audience is paying to see.
• Masculinity, Weakness, and Impotence: Charles Atlas, the "strongest man in the world", is repeatedly mocked and deeply insecure about his "manhood". His physical strength is fake, mirroring his emotional and sexual vulnerability.
• Financial Necessity and Exploitation: Sal openly discusses doing crass acts "for the money", highlighting the financial desperation of the performers and Carol's belief that "rubes" will pay for vulgarity.
• Power Dynamics and Control: Charles believes the show is his, but Sal and Carol correct him, stating they work for PT. PT, the director, attempts to control the creative direction, but Charles's emotional breakdown ultimately hijacks the performance.
  
  

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Charles Atlas and his Best Gal Sal
by
Rick Regan
December 21, 2024
Rick Regan
[e-mail]
919-218-8834
INT. CARNIVAL TENT - DAY
Bare stage, house lights.
A man, CHARLES, walks out. He is in his early thirties,
very bulky. He is shirtless and wearing striped
“wrestler” trousers, gaudy and loose.
CHARLES
(to the audience)
Hello, folks. I’m Charles Atlas,
strongest man in the world. I used
to be like you, scrawny and weak.
I was at the beach one day and
some bully comes along and kicks
sand on me. I vowed from that day
that I would become the strongest
man in the world. And here I am!
I bend iron bars with my bare
hands! I juggle bowling balls,
three at a time! I lift my best
gal, Sal, over my head. I am
Charles Atlas! Mountain of a Man!
And any mountain has to have a
Best Gal, and that’s Sal. She’s
smart, so watch out! Here she is!
Here’s Sal!
A woman in a circus outfit comes forward across the bare
stage. She waves to the crowd. The crowd whistles and
cheers.
SALLY
Oh, stop it, ya’ bunch of goons!
Just because a beautiful woman
appears, right in front of you,
doesn’t mean that you have to ogle
and wolf-whistle...But it doesn’t
hurt either!
(winking)
Crowd guffaws!
CHARLES
How are you doing today, Sal?
SALLY
Well, Charlie, I was just saying
to Carol, backstage, that this is
about the best audience we’ve ever
had.
CHARLES
What do you mean, Sal? They seem
like regular people.
SALLY
Regular people?! Have you seen
these folks? Fine, upstanding
citizens! Models of their
community. Leaders, men of wealth
and taste, entrepreneurs!
CHARLES
Is that French?
SALLY
No, Charlie! The French don’t have
a word for ‘entrepreneur’. It’s
American as apple pie. As
wholesome and good as every
American who is faithful to our
beloved republic.
(to audience)
Isn’t that right, folks?!
The crowd cheers!
SALLY
And what a mountain of a man you
are, Charles!
(to audience)
Strong as an ox!
(stage whispers)
And almost as smart too.
Crowd laughs.
SALLY
And for a man as big as he is,
you’d think there’d be
more...manhood. But, sadly for old
Sal, there’s just not much meat on
that bone. But he’s a good guy.
He’s sweet.
CHARLES
(to audience)
So here we are, the strongest man
in the world and his Best Gal Sal.
We’ll be doing some things tonight
that you have never seen,
anywhere!
An energetic, younger man enters. He’s carrying a messy
sheet of papers.
PT
(rushing in)
Wait! Wait. Guys, hold on.
(shuffling papers)
Let’s see...”Charlie comes in. I’m
Charles Atlas...blah, blah, blah.
Here’s Sal. Blah, blah, blah....
(to himself)
No, no, no, We skipped the first
part.
(looking around)
(to offstage)
Carol! Can we get the backdrops
please?
Big painted backdrops roll down from the rigs above.
PT
(to the audience)
I’m sorry about this, folks. Kind
of rushed today. Bit of a mix-up.
(to offstage)
Carol, can we get the lights too?
The house lights go down and the stage lights come up.
PT
(to audience)
Yeah, yeah. Ok. Uh, so...set the
scene. It’s a circus tent. With a
carnival barker attraction. The
Strongest Man in the World and his
assistant. He does feats of
strength.
SALLY
Assistant? I’m more than an
assistant!
PT
It’s just for the script, honey.
(to audience)
Anyway, you’ve met Charlie and
Sal. So, it’s a bit out of order
but I think you get the picture.
(to Charles)
You ready to go, champ?
CHARLES
Sure. Always. No doubt. Hundred
percent.
PT
Ok. Ok. Let’s...
(moves to exit,
pauses)
It’s just... I’ve been thinking.
SALLY
Oh, no! Here we go.
PT
It’s just, I was thinking that we
don’t have enough drama in this
show. There is no suspense, no
unpredictability. No mystery.
CAROL, the stage manager comes on, with headphone and
clipboard.
CAROL
(irritated)
PT, we’ve got to keep moving.
What’s going on here?
SALLY
PT wants us to stage some kind of
Ibson-ian hot-house drama.
CAROL
Like “The Wild Duck”?
SALLY
I’m thinking more “Hedda Gabbler”.
CAROL
Jesus, can we just move this
along? Please?!
PT
It’s just that I wonder if we are
giving the audience what they
want, if we just give them what
they expect. What if they didn’t
know how it would come out?
SALLY
What? Like, if the bars didn’t
bend or he couldn’t lift the
bowling balls?
CHARLES
I can bend the bar!
CAROL
(exasperated)
It’s rubber! We use it for every
show. Of course you can bend the
bar. I can bend the bar.
PT
But what if, maybe like Houdini,
you don’t know if he’s going to
escape?
CAROL
Like if Miss Deep-Dish here keeps
packing on the pounds and he can’t
get her up in the air any more?
SALLY
That’s not the only thing he can’t
get up.
PT
OK! So right there! She just made
an insult about his impotence.
That’s good!
CHARLES
No! It’s not!
PT
What if he gets angry! What if he
threatens her! We don’t know if
he’s going to kill her!
SALLY
On stage?!
CAROL
OK, OK. I get your point. We don’t
have a dramatic tension here, but
is that what they are paying to
see? I mean, aren’t the rubes
paying their nickels to see Miss
Boom-Boom-Coconuts here and her
pet gorilla?
PT
I get your point.
CAROL
I mean, what they really want to
see is the He-Man shucking-her
clam. Live! On-stage. Raw!
PT
I know, but...
CAROL
They would be stacking up the
quarters from here to Buffalo!
Every seat, every show, packed!
SALLY
(cooly)
I’d do that. For the money.
CAROL
Of course you would. That’s why
you are in the circus, not the
White House.
SALLY
No, I mean it. If the stiffs want
to see the goods, and PAY, I’m in.
I need to make some real money.
This-face doesn’t look this-good
forever. I’ve got to think of the
future.
PT
But that’s not drama! That’s not
theater! That’s just a show, a
performance. Like Charlie here,
bending the rubber stick. Just a
show.
SALLY
So what? If it brings in the cash?
I want to rake it in.
PT
But that’s not why we’re doing
this!
CAROL
Oh no? Says you, Mister I-was-on
Broadway. Look at you now,
directing a circus freak show.
CHARLES
I’m not a freak! I’m normal.
SALLY
Almost...
CHARLES
What if it was like a contest?
What if it was some competition or
game, that you don’t know how it
comes out?
CAROL
Chas, you couldn’t win a spelling
bee. Shut up!
SALLY
You could have him fight somebody,
like from the audience.
PT
No, no!
CAROL
Or better yet, have the stiffs pay
to try to lift up Miss Two
Cupcakes-and-a-Muffin here. They’d
lose every time!
SALLY
I’ll laugh all the way to the
bank!
CAROL
Look, PT, this is your show. If
you want to stage “The Cherry
Orchard”, then, fine. Be my guest.
I just need to keep the show
going!
CHARLES
Wait a minute! This isn’t his
show. This is my show. Charles
Atlas, strongest man in the world.
That’s what people pay to see. I
am what brings the people in. Me!
SALLY
(soothing)
And, honey, you’re great at it.
You always have been.
CHARLES
I don’t want to hear some BS about
how there is ‘no drama’, ‘not real
theater’. This is my show. You
work for me. Remember that!
SALLY
Uh, actually Charly, that’s not,
strictly-speaking, true.
CHARLES
Of course it is!
CAROL
She’s right. We work for PT.
CHARLES
I don’t!
CAROL
That’s between you two.
PT
Listen, listen. We’re way off base
here. Let’s just get through this
show and we’ll kick around some
ideas with the midgets and the
clowns, when we pull out of town.
CAROL
(frustrated)
Thank you!
Carol goes offstage.
PT
OK. You guys are pros. You’re
doing great. Take it from here.
(moves to exit,
pauses)
But, actually, I just want to
mention, that I’m proud of you,
both. You bring this stage to life
every day. And the magic between
the two of you is real. The
audience gets that. It’s like
electricity! Ok, go!
PT goes backstage.
Where was I?
CHARLES
SALLY
Feats of strength.
Charles picks up the “iron” bar and bends it easily.
CHARLES
(pathetic)
Do I really not satisfy you? I
try! You know I do.
SALLY
It’s not important. I love you.
Charles puts down the bar and picks up the bowling balls,
which are painted Styrofoam. He starts to juggle them but
he fumbles them. He scrambles around to collect the foam
balls.
CHARLES
(choking up)
But, maybe you’ve been with other
guys, like the clowns. And they
were better?
SALLY
Look, it’s OK. I get along fine,
myself.
CHARLES
(starting to cry)
But who am I, to you?
SALLY
(soothing)
The Strongest Man in the World.
Charles puts away the bowling balls.
Sally gets in position for Charles to lift her.
Charles is weeping now.
CHARLES
(lifting Sally)
But, but...I do whatever you want.
Whatever you like. Isn’t that
enough?
Charles holds Sally over his head.
CAROL
(from offstage)
Twirl her around! Twirl her
around, please!
Charles turns Sally around over his head. He is crying.
She is crying.
Charles puts Sally back down on the stage.
SALLY
(jagged crying)
And what about me? Am I just some
arm-candy for you? There are a
million women who throw themselves
at you! Doesn’t it mean anything
to you? Don’t I mean anything to
you?!
CHARLES
(sobbing)
Baby! I love you. I have always
loved you! But...
SALLY
(hysterical)
But?! But what?! What’s the
matter? Are you kicking me off the
train?! Is there somebody else?
CHARLES
There’s nobody else! How could
there be anybody else?! You are
the only one I love!
SALLY
But why?! Why do you love me?!
CHARLES
Because I just DO! That’s why. I
just do. I just love you.
SALLY
Oh, Charlie!
Sally goes to Charles and puts her arms around him. She
kisses him. She kisses his tears and his closed eyes. He
squeezes her.
The audience erupt into cheers of ‘Hurray!’
PT
(from offstage)
OK, lights! Please!
The stage lights go out.
END