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Two Salts On A Pod features a married couple having real conversations about anything, at any time. Come along as they discuss relationships, love, philosophy, spirituality, parenting, and the aha moments along the way. It’s honest, a little messy, and always a good time.
K.
Speaker 2:I hope you enjoyed that intro.
Speaker 1:Are are do we gonna make an intro?
Speaker 2:My my I know a local artist who's rudely slurping into the mic at this microphone.
Speaker 1:Two salts in a pot. I
Speaker 2:was kinda thinking it would have already been made and we'll just hear it at the beginning.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, I don't understand how to record.
Speaker 2:This is our inaugural inaugural, babe. Don't say Just stuff like
Speaker 1:bleep it.
Speaker 2:Inaugural premier podcast
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Of two salts.
Speaker 1:In a pod or
Speaker 2:on a I created it in a pod.
Speaker 1:In a pod. Two salts in a pod.
Speaker 2:I think we're gonna keep it in a pod.
Speaker 1:Because I'm salty boy and you're salty girl. I
Speaker 2:have joining me here this week and most weeks, forthcoming, fourth with.
Speaker 1:Is it gonna be weekly? Did we decide
Speaker 2:Definitely. Every week.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2:We'll see.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Podcast to come. I have the boy himself, a salty boy
Speaker 1:The salty boy? Games. Yes.
Speaker 2:And Salty Boy Media. Yes. And other adventures. Yes. Hi.
Speaker 2:We'll get to. Well, at the end, I'll let you plug all your
Speaker 1:No. I wanna do it now. I drove all this way. No. Okay.
Speaker 1:Yes. I am Mason of Salty Boy Games. I started this back in 2013, but really haven't done anything Wait. I didn't give you the Wait. I haven't really done anything until, like, the past month or two that I started and I actually changed my name legally to Joshua.
Speaker 1:So that's how I'll be referred to from now on. But all you
Speaker 2:don't go by Mason anymore. No. All the The man I married is Mason.
Speaker 1:Yeah. The Doesn't exist anymore. Yeah. All the day ones will know in their heart and will hold it there that I am Mason.
Speaker 2:Mason. Mhmm. Yeah. But of course, you don't go by Mason anymore. No.
Speaker 2:You go by
Speaker 1:Jonathan.
Speaker 2:Jonathan.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:He was a j
Speaker 1:So you had a question for me?
Speaker 2:Well, I was gonna get to that Oh. In the next hour or so. We'll get to those questions.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. I feel like seventeen and a half minutes is a long first podcast.
Speaker 2:Seventeen and a half? So I think in the future, we'll have more of a regular format. But for this one, for the premier
Speaker 1:You're doing French with him?
Speaker 2:Podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was thinking because we were gonna do this on the sixth. Mhmm. Which was like the twenty second. And now it's the twenty second. We were gonna do it on our daughter's birthday, and we were gonna talk about parenting.
Speaker 2:So I'd still like to talk about that because I
Speaker 1:think We're not married, but we do have the same daughter.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, that happens all the time. So that's not that
Speaker 1:That's different. That's not even There's nothing different about that.
Speaker 2:Alright. Well, thank you for coming to this podcast
Speaker 1:That's what
Speaker 2:she and for agreeing to be to be a part
Speaker 1:of I wait till it doesn't song's going. Thank you for coming To a podcast. That's That's what she said. Aw. Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Sorry. Continue. Wait. So is this questions, or what do you have coming?
Speaker 2:I I have a question, but of course, you can ask questions.
Speaker 1:But Okay.
Speaker 2:I was curious. Our daughter just turned two.
Speaker 1:On the What was
Speaker 2:your favorite color at two?
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding. Okay. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:But if you know, you can tell me. No.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Okay.
Speaker 2:No. My real question is.
Speaker 1:I was actually giving
Speaker 2:you thought. If it's complicated.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be orange no matter what age.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's always been. It's always been orange. Okay. No.
Speaker 2:I wanted to know what is something about parenting, because she was our first for those at home listening.
Speaker 1:Isn't that for anyone who's listening?
Speaker 2:For anyone listening and wondering if our first child is our first child.
Speaker 1:So she's our first for anyone who isn't the two of us. Who doesn't For
Speaker 2:anyone who decides to give this more than three minutes. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's not gonna happen. Just kidding.
Speaker 2:What is something that parenting has taught you that surprised you?
Speaker 1:What is something
Speaker 2:What was What were you surprised by from parenting? What's something that you learned in parenting that you were surprised by?
Speaker 1:What did I What have I learned in parenting that I've been surprised by?
Speaker 2:You.
Speaker 1:No. Address me by my name.
Speaker 2:Oh, Mason.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you. I thought
Speaker 2:you were by Jonathan.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes. I'm by Jonathan. But you, well, you're allowed to call me Mason, even though that is a dead name. Wait. Ask it again.
Speaker 1:What's something that I'm surprised that I've learned about parenting?
Speaker 2:Is there anything that you've learned during the last couple years from parenting that has surprised you? Because I know that you're the type who's like, I imagine so many different scenarios that
Speaker 1:Oh, I have something.
Speaker 2:I already kind of feel things before they happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I'm really good at feeling, and anticipating negative reactions, but positive not. So my answer will yeah. It's gonna be on the positive side is definitely how fun kids are. Well, specifically, our daughter is super fun Just to hang out with.
Speaker 1:Because everybody seems to talk about the weight and the responsibility and the chores. But they don't talk about the benefits. Which I feel like we've talked about that before where where
Speaker 2:Well, plus she's a a child model, so she does bring in an
Speaker 1:easy child. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:She is she does bring us a lot of benefit that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's true. Yeah. What have you I'll let me you know what? Let me do something experimental.
Speaker 1:Let me turn that question back around on you. For those who don't have access to the video that doesn't exist, I pointed the mic that I'm holding that's meant for me and my voice, and I pointed it at her where she has her own mic.
Speaker 2:Woah. She flipped the script.
Speaker 1:I mean, she booked the script. And it's comedic because she already has a mic. Okay. Sorry.
Speaker 2:Two mics. Two legs, one pod.
Speaker 1:Two mics,
Speaker 2:Yes. One Yeah. I was gonna He stole my answer, I can't even say it.
Speaker 1:Really?
Speaker 2:No. I think it's something that's I don't know if it's a learning thing. Actually, you know what? I won't do yours exactly. But I do agree with everything that you said.
Speaker 2:But I did learn a lot more about the positives than I expected to. Because I was really expecting it to really suck.
Speaker 1:Why did you expect to suck?
Speaker 2:Just was expecting it to be really hard. I was expecting it to be not very enjoyable. Or like at least the early stages, I was expecting it to be like, oh, it's just so much work, especially with newborn and breastfeeding and stuff like that. Is she crying? Speaking of
Speaker 1:Ugh. She's making noise now.
Speaker 2:Is she really crying?
Speaker 1:Yeah. We gotta pause this This annoying girl is just giving guts Is she crying actually? I think she is crying. Yeah. I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I'll go take care of it. Aw. Okay. Brief pause.
Speaker 1:Okay. We should be able to
Speaker 2:Alright.
Speaker 1:I took care of it, you know, because I'm a good father because I babysit my child. Yeah. No. She was just just for all at For all the folks at home, she was just crying. And basically, what I did was I comforted her and I was like, you know what?
Speaker 1:It's nighttime, so you know, time for bed. That basically was
Speaker 2:Right back in her bed. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:For those wondering. For those wondering what the
Speaker 2:exact care was that I provided.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay. So I was in the middle and I was so rudely interrupted by a child crying, talking about what I liked about parenting. And I agreed with you on the fun. It's way more fun than I expected it to be. But what I feel like I've learned, because that was something that surprised me, but I don't think it was necessarily like a learning moment.
Speaker 2:I think what I've been learning is more how to, I mean, I'm not great at it. But trying to let go more of just like, I don't know, preconceived ideas in general.
Speaker 1:I feel like, yeah, you've let go way more probably than you.
Speaker 2:Me there's
Speaker 1:also You're way something more let go than you have been. Yeah. And I'm probably more holding on, because we're on the opposite ends of that. You need to learn how to release the grip, and I need to learn how to start to have a grip.
Speaker 2:To get a grip? Wow. Yeah. Think No. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:But I think I think it just it surprised me that that was something that I would need to learn this early. Because you think Mhmm. Of letting go as more of like a when they're older, you have to start Yeah. I'll change my mind control.
Speaker 1:I'll change my mind about there's some things that I probably and more but even leaving her once, that felt like a huge struggle to leave her with anyone else Mhmm. Even just once. Or if we go to, like, church and there's a nursery, it just feels like, oh, bleep that. We don't want anyone to know that we're
Speaker 2:That we go to church.
Speaker 1:Go to church with Satan.
Speaker 2:Or that we go to we have put her in nursery.
Speaker 1:No. Just kidding. But like I can remember kind of my I can remember kind of my head space when we're leaving the hospital. I'm like, I don't think I know enough to take her home. Thinking of that.
Speaker 1:And now it sounds like ridiculous. Like, well, what was gonna happen? She was gonna run away? And I wouldn't know how to chase her or
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's true.
Speaker 1:Think if something went wrong, we'd take her to the hospital. I think I
Speaker 2:still would have a I think my mind has adjusted to being okay with being all together more often. Where for a while, I was feeling
Speaker 1:Altogether, what do mean?
Speaker 2:Like, we both get to work from home, which is great. Yeah. The majority of the time. And so there was a while where I had to adjust, I think. Because I felt not pressure from anyone else, but my own pressure feeling like, oh, gotta get back to whatever.
Speaker 2:I have to get back to like some sort of pre kid schedule somehow. But adjusting to
Speaker 1:But you don't.
Speaker 2:Like, no. This is just the new normal. This is us being a family type of thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:What has been easier about having a kid than you thought?
Speaker 1:Everything, I think. I feel like everything was complicated in my brain, probably. Or not complicate well, some things complicated, but mostly everything seemed like it's difficult, like cleaning up and taking care of another person. But when you're just in the flow of that, it's pretty easy.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I agree.
Speaker 1:But yeah, what what for you was easier? And I'll ask a question on my own after you have this answer.
Speaker 2:Well, this is a little bit of a a cheater answer, but the sleep schedule was easier than I expected. How fast she But we might have just had the best baby, because she is the best. But
Speaker 1:There's probably not a lot of parents who are like, yeah, you know what? Dealing with a baby, like learning to sleep is way easier than they tell you. Because yeah, it is. There's some was was
Speaker 2:was She was sleeping in her own We had her in her own crib at three weeks, weeks and she was sleeping, not through the night at that point, but because she was way too little.
Speaker 1:Well, speaking of let letting go moments, there was like probably one night where she just kept crying forever. That was just like, oh, we can let it go. She can cry and she'll fall asleep when she's crying for no reason. Because you don't wanna leave them alone. But sometimes it's just
Speaker 2:Oh, meant to like trust that she'd be okay?
Speaker 1:Yeah. That she'd be okay. Because after you tried Oh, you mean
Speaker 2:when she was a lot older. Not when she was a newborn. Yeah. When she's When she was like Yeah. We were trying She was probably going through a sleep regression or something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And she was just sleeping or crying because she basically didn't wanna go to sleep.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, that was your answer of what was more easy was the sleep schedule, which I'd agree with. Yeah. So what was more difficult for you?
Speaker 2:That was the next question that I had.
Speaker 1:So Well, now I get the credit for it now.
Speaker 2:What was what was more difficult?
Speaker 1:Yeah. What's more difficult than you thought? And that sucks because I asked a question and now I know you're gonna turn around on me and I don't have an answer, but I'll try to come up with one.
Speaker 2:What's more difficult? I don't know if it's more difficult than I thought, because I don't know if I thought about it too much. But asking for help from you, I think is probably more difficult than I would have expected.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 2:Because it requires me to use a part of my brain that No for I'll be sexist and say that generally women don't use, which is thinking of what do I actually want and following through on what do I actually want from you. Rather than hoping that you'll read my mind and figure out what I had already don't
Speaker 1:think it's like I mean, that could be, but
Speaker 2:that Or it's committed sounds to what I want. It's like Oh.
Speaker 1:That sounds uncharitable to me though, like it's you're being hard on yourself, and it could be more
Speaker 2:Uncharitable to you?
Speaker 1:To yourself. You thought when I said yourself, I
Speaker 2:You said uncharitable to me.
Speaker 1:No. I said uncharitable uncharitable to yourself, and luckily, it's recorded, so you'll be able to hear it. No. I'm saying it's uncharitable to yourself. But yes, to me, as in if you're
Speaker 2:saying Oh, it would be
Speaker 1:I see. Yes. I'm saying if you're Gosh. This is how things get off track.
Speaker 2:Very excited to hear this played back to hear what you actually said.
Speaker 1:I'm saying, to say, oh, well, it's just I want you to read my mind. It's possible that that could be something there, and that could be a subconscious thought for me as well. But I feel like more than that, I would say you don't want, or it seems like you don't want to be needy. And it feels like, be wordy. See, look at how censored and nice I am.
Speaker 1:Be wordy. It feels like yeah. It feels like that to say, hey, can you do this? Hey, can you do that? And then, I feel like the the bad end of that is you don't say what you want clearly, and then you get frustrated about what it is.
Speaker 1:So when you end up asking, then it
Speaker 2:means other people. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yes. A hypothetical woman who I've never met.
Speaker 2:Definitely exhibits symptoms of this. Yeah. But not ever me. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:No. I'm saying like, for me, I don't think I'm some kind of praise hungry person necessarily. I don't like a want. I'm not like some needy person for approval from you constantly. You know, I'm not like, I wouldn't think of myself that way.
Speaker 1:And the unintended result of that is I try to I subconsciously hide everything nice I do for you because I'm like, well, I don't wanna be doing this for praise. Yeah. Don't wanna be So then you don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So then you you don't know. And then I'm like, you don't even notice what I'm don't
Speaker 2:even notice when I pick up your bobby pins constantly?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I'm saying I feel like the opposite is that way for you. Where you're very considerate and helpful and you do a bunch of tasks without any kind of like, you need to do this for me if I'm gonna do it for you. But because of that, because you're so helpful, it can turn around and you don't ask for anything until you're frustrated about not getting it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Until I'm Yeah. I'm like, why haven't you been doing this already for the last Yeah. Six Yep. Kept track every time.
Speaker 2:What's been harder for you? It's really Than you expected. Did you Can you think of anything? Well, said
Speaker 1:I feel like. You said
Speaker 2:you kinda felt like everything would be hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I feel like I was so Not pessimistic. But so it felt so daunting that I feel like I didn't really expect to Well, you know me, and you know me audience.
Speaker 2:And the audience knows me so well by this point.
Speaker 1:Oh, I see you know.
Speaker 2:For those who have listened ahead, and then have decided to go back to the beginning.
Speaker 1:We know all of you are here. I mean, isn't wow. Fifteen years of contest. Seventeen thousand hours. Don't even know what that math is.
Speaker 1:I'll have find out what those numbers I said were by listening back. Now
Speaker 2:be eight years of full time work.
Speaker 1:Yes. No. The Goodness. Eight years.
Speaker 2:Eight years of doing
Speaker 1:eight hours of Forty hours of podcast. Yeah. People who actually do podcasts, they like wait all day to do like at at most two and a half. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Unless you're Joe Rogan. So I my tendency
Speaker 2:Which we will be as big as Wednesday.
Speaker 1:Yes. Well, let's not let
Speaker 2:ourselves Joe Rogan podcast, we're gonna be right there. Pods Two bigger. Two salts in a pod. You can't even say already.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I was thinking, and to the people listening to the future, we should probably have Joe Rogan on and throw him a bone. You know, we might as well.
Speaker 2:To those listening.
Speaker 1:No. Let me get back to it.
Speaker 2:Yes. Good. I said, what has a bit harder than you
Speaker 1:thought. No. No. I was gonna say, knowing you know me, and then I said the audience knows me, and then we went on that whole thing. No.
Speaker 1:You knowing me, I tend to I feel like feel like there's people with flaws in two directions. There's the people who try overestimate themselves chronically Mhmm. Or that's what they struggle with, and that's their tendency. And then there's the people who tend to underestimate themselves. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I feel like I'm that way, and I'm not saying, oh my gosh, I'm a secretly such a actually awesome guy. Just don't even a
Speaker 2:good guy. But I just chronically undervalue I'm
Speaker 1:saying, I chronically like, even if my conscious mind knows, it is ridiculous to think that you're not gonna be able to figure out where this trash can is at a friend's house to dump the trash and be able to find your way back. But that is how my brain works.
Speaker 2:Have you had that thought specifically?
Speaker 1:No. Can That was a very specific example. Well, I'll tell you one that happens all the time that is true. What? When we go to a restaurant and I go to the bathroom, I actually am like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to find my way back.
Speaker 1:What? Every single time.
Speaker 2:To the table?
Speaker 1:To the table. I'm like, I'm gonna probably be searching for a long time.
Speaker 2:Gosh. I've lost
Speaker 1:my ask me how many times I've actually
Speaker 2:How many times have you gotten lost?
Speaker 1:Zero. But I'm saying, that is the low expectation of myself. So because of that low expect wrapping around the low expectation of myself, I thought I probably wouldn't be able to do any of it. I thought I wouldn't be able to
Speaker 2:I wrap said, well, it was harder than you thought.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So nothing. Because I didn't even think I was capable of of putting a diaper.
Speaker 2:Nothing was harder than you thought. When So
Speaker 1:Diaper is actually is is is a diaper is something that's simple to put on, actually.
Speaker 2:Oh, Tucker. Tucker's joining us today.
Speaker 1:No. Sorry. That was as long winded as Tucker is. So apologies for that. But you guys have gone hey, the salt crew.
Speaker 1:You guys have gotten used to that. Sorry. I've been talking way too much. You jaw for a bit, which is a word that we learned from the magician's nephew, which we are currently reading to our daughter.
Speaker 2:She loves every second of it. She isn't at all distracted and running around constantly. Okay. So nothing was harder. Everything essentially then was easier.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I didn't expect I was gonna be able to do any of it. Which is irrational. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So then everything exceeds the expectations.
Speaker 1:Yes. True.
Speaker 2:Okay. I am the one that keeps the beat of said podcast going. Okay. I do have another question.
Speaker 1:What's the question? Okay.
Speaker 2:In your opinion That's a tough one. I y o. Now, how is your how is our we're married. We've been married for how long were we married before we had her? Eight years?
Speaker 1:Eight years. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or like eight in a little bit. How has our relationship changed in your perspective since having her?
Speaker 1:I feel like we have a better view of each other. Like we have a more full view. Because when it's just you two excuse me.
Speaker 2:Are you great?
Speaker 1:No. When it's just you two, you get the view of the view of you that I would get would just be you interacting with me Mhmm. Most of the time. And I'd like, know, I could be happy with that sometimes. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:But I'm saying, like, you get little bursts where you're talking to other people, and I get to appreciate, like, oh, wow, you're good with other people. Always. Or you're good at interacting. Mhmm. But now, it's like every single day.
Speaker 2:I get to see good aspects. Whereas versus you're the only one interacting with me.
Speaker 1:Yes. I'm I'm getting to see Yes. That's how our daughter
Speaker 2:says that.
Speaker 1:Yes. No. You seeing you in a different context, but like giving different things than you would normally like, that would you'd naturally give to me different aspects, more nurturing and stuff. I get to have a whole new respect for you.
Speaker 2:So That's cool. That's a cool perspective. I like that. Well Did you feel like it's changed in a good way or a bad way?
Speaker 1:No. Definitely a good way. I feel like that's probably why like, you know, people say when they get divorced or whatever it is, that they say or or not when they get divorced, but when people don't get divorced, they say, oh, we are staying together for the kids. And it's like, you're probably you had a common purpose. It's not, oh, well, the kids would have wanted us to stay stay together.
Speaker 1:It was like, we had an actual mission that was important. And then when we didn't have that mission, we didn't know what to do. We didn't know how to work it out. That's my guess. But sorry.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah. How do you think
Speaker 2:answering my question. I like that.
Speaker 1:How do you think it changed? But I feel like I talk so much. Which is probably why I'm good
Speaker 2:for podcasts. I'm quizzing you. I came I'm the one that came prepared with questions.
Speaker 1:Not answers, apparently.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I didn't. I didn't expect you to
Speaker 1:How could you not expect that? That's like obviously the first thing I would do.
Speaker 2:I didn't expect you to not. I just didn't necessarily expect that you for sure would. I mean, I think our relationship has changed for the better. There's definitely things What's
Speaker 1:the positive? I wanna come up with a negative. You say a positive and then say a negative.
Speaker 2:Okay. You can come up with a negative if you'd like. I'm sure it'll be not that hard to think of one. But I think
Speaker 1:Yeah. I probably will be.
Speaker 2:I think it's been better. There's elements that have gotten like more complicated or something. Something that's like not as Like, I don't know how how much you want me to share. But like Share, we can believe Do
Speaker 1:you even know where to post podcasts? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I imagine we'll Yeah. Figure something Like, intimacy, it feels like it's changed since having her.
Speaker 1:Or just like there's less time for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Or well, maybe. But I think partly because I didn't account for how long it would take to recover after having her. And then there's breastfeeding.
Speaker 1:The baby breastfeeds too.
Speaker 2:And the baby breastfeeds too. She breastfed for like thirteen months or something like that. And so Or maybe longer actually. So it just is like, it changes the dynamic. It changes how much energy you have.
Speaker 1:So that's what you're saying?
Speaker 2:Or at least how much I negative side. Oh, yeah. I guess I'm saying it in a negative way. I think overall
Speaker 1:Well, what's the positive
Speaker 2:for the better from the perspective of like, I feel like we communicate a lot more than we used to. At least, seem to be intentional more about our communication. But we also fight about little things that are probably we wouldn't have ever thought about before.
Speaker 1:I feel like, yeah.
Speaker 2:Or maybe just mostly me. I like we fought with you about things.
Speaker 1:No, I feel like we fought probably a lot more before having kids, but
Speaker 2:I think it helped give perspective. Like I like the way that you thought of it.
Speaker 1:Perspective. Perspective.
Speaker 2:That I is a toy definitely do. I do like seeing you with her, course. I think that's really sweet and it is fun to see.
Speaker 1:If I had a negative side, I it's hard for me to come up with a negative for it, honestly. For our relationship dynamic, because it feels like everything just gets better and better with us.
Speaker 2:It does feel like things have gotten better overall. I was just trying to think of how it's changed.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's a super small negative, but we get but again, I could say this is a positive too. We get less time that we are specifically hanging out and being able to do what we want, but I would say the positive side of it, and I think this is actually objectively true, not subjectively, that when you have less time to do a good thing, it becomes objectively better. You get to see how special it is. Yeah. You know how like people oh, I think we talked about this before, but like, older people are like, enjoy your twenties.
Speaker 1:And I just say, yeah, people can't because they don't know They're it. Yeah, they're in it. They don't have anything to compare it to. They don't understand the value of their time. They can't comprehend its specialness and no one can tell them how special it is.
Speaker 1:They will only learn how to take care of the it's like how, you know, I'm this is something I'm worried about is trying to teach our daughter how to be careful with her belongings. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Like to take to take care of them?
Speaker 1:Yes. And knowing that I never learned the lesson even though I was told by my parents to take care of my belongings. I didn't learn the lesson until I had like loss. I'm like, ugh. I wish I still had that, but I didn't take care of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think lessons like that about about time, like the valuable ability valuability? The value of free time you will never understand until it is Until you access supply.
Speaker 2:I think that's a good point. I think this isn't, this isn't related to either of the questions but I do I do think that it has Being a parent has caused me to really reflect on more of the moments. Or like to try to really enjoy the moments. Because that was something I was never very good at. Was being in the moment.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah. You're way better than me. And I I understand that too.
Speaker 2:I'm not way better at you. You're really good at being in the moment. You're almost only in the moment. Maybe. I mean, don't know how much you appreciate being in the moment.
Speaker 2:But you definitely are the type that's mostly in the moment. You don't think of things as past, present Interesting. Or past future. Think of what's the next thing. So then I have a hard time thinking of how do I just enjoy this time.
Speaker 1:That's like because you've talked about that.
Speaker 2:We just wanna to have a vacation for And we left right close to your birthday. And on your birthday. I was like, hey, well, let's hurry it up. I was like trying to keep the schedule at And the you're like, hey, can we just maybe Hang out. Hang out.
Speaker 2:And literally the night before I'd been like, hey, we're just gonna be super chill tomorrow, so like, whatever you wanna do. Yeah, that's I just want it to be your day type of thing. And I was already getting stressed about timing, which we didn't have anywhere to even be.
Speaker 1:That's funny because, yeah, because you're good at anticipating and being excited about stuff. And I've always interpreted that as you're good at appreciating things and I'm not good. But like, okay. For instance, we're sitting in in Park City. Like you're talking about the trip.
Speaker 1:We're sitting in Park City with a view of the mountains on a hot tub on a balcony in the early morning.
Speaker 2:We were on a hot tub. We weren't
Speaker 1:in it. We were just on it. It's called.
Speaker 2:We sat on top of the case because it it didn't work.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Did pay
Speaker 2:for it. Listeners.
Speaker 1:That's a joke. She's not telling you. No. Yeah. In that moment, just having cold early fall
Speaker 2:That was so fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah. In a hot tub, looking at mountains with the sun coming up. Nothing else. And I don't mean this as a hyperbole. I'm saying like almost nothing else feels like it exists to me except for that moment.
Speaker 1:And I don't feel like you worked that way. But I've never not worked that way. And you've never worked.
Speaker 2:The opposite. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You've never worked not con
Speaker 2:super conscious of the present
Speaker 1:past and future.
Speaker 2:Things like, oh, this is so fun. Or isn't this trip such a good Isn't this such a fun trip? Or like, oh, look at that view. I feel like I comment on those things when I like, on a regular basis. I don't feel like I hear you comment on those things
Speaker 1:very Well, we're talking about something learning from parenthood because I've seen that that's definitely important. Because I feel like I wasn't bad usually at feeling good things in the moment or feeling like it's something's a good experience, but sharing that is important that I feel maybe that's what I'm saying. You're much better at expressing the goodness of something where I feel like my association isn't because I'm not feeling good, but because I'm afraid that I'm gonna come across as, like, insincere.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:Because I you know, like, I'm hyping online. This would
Speaker 2:be a whole other podcast is deep diving on how we how we react to things totally differently from Like each gift giving and stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. This will be yeah. You could do Oh, audience.
Speaker 2:The the podcast that you were in store for
Speaker 1:is Well, I was gonna say you had to push really hard. Not like not really, but kind of for me to even do this.
Speaker 2:This podcast?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Because of my nature, what I which I've talked about is you're good at planning and thinking forward and anticipating. And I'm like, I don't know what it's gonna be. I'm gonna suck at it. And I'm and I'm realizing the problem is gonna be getting me to shut up.
Speaker 1:Not that I'm gonna have nothing to say.
Speaker 2:That's funny.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:You very much.
Speaker 2:Was on a that podcast I was on a couple weeks ago. I felt like I was talking the whole time. And I I did kinda rewatch it. I mean, I didn't rewatch every second of it because you it's really hard to watch yourself.
Speaker 1:Is it?
Speaker 2:It's hard for me to watch myself. You should
Speaker 1:try doing some editing when we do it because you'll get you get You'll
Speaker 2:over get against it? Yeah. Or over it? Well yeah.
Speaker 1:Which is weird because I didn't realize
Speaker 2:I was trying Oh,
Speaker 1:I am used to
Speaker 2:really hard to smile a lot because I'm I'm very conscious of the fact that, like, you can look kind of pissy You mean easily, meaning me probably, if you don't make a conscious effort to like smile. In the in between. I'm I'm like pretty smiley, I think usually when I talk, or I'm like not super grouchy looking when I talk usually. Especially if I'm performing.
Speaker 1:No, don't think you have But RBF in general.
Speaker 2:But like, yeah. So I was super conscious of that. But I had someone that reached out to me and said that they watched it and that I seemed very natural. Because I was like, they were like, oh, totally resonated with what you said. You know, whatever.
Speaker 2:Pat on my back there. I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I was like, oh. Was like, I, you know, I'm super embarrassed really, actually that you're even commenting on the fact that you watched my podcast that I was on.
Speaker 1:It's so funny.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad that you liked it.
Speaker 1:It's like you've
Speaker 2:just so many You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's it was you were like a total natural type
Speaker 1:thing. Yeah. That that is funny because like
Speaker 2:Although this person was trying to get a job with me, so Yeah. Hard to say.
Speaker 1:Hard to trust. But you're, like, you've you've done so many Zooms and stuff, and you have to
Speaker 2:I don't do Zooms.
Speaker 1:Okay, whatever.
Speaker 2:Teams is We need to represent my job at least to some degree with accuracy. Sorry.
Speaker 1:You did Teams on a PC while you're using Internet Explorer to find out things. No. She's with Microsoft, if you guys aren't sure if I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:I'm with a Microsoft partner.
Speaker 1:But it's funny because you look at an image of yourself constantly while you're talking to other people and you're nervous about it. But
Speaker 2:I don't though.
Speaker 1:Well, try
Speaker 2:I look down in the corner watching myself. I mean, I'll catch a glint glimpse a glamp.
Speaker 1:One glimp. But I'm I'm catching
Speaker 2:one glamp. But I'm trying to pay attention to what they're saying.
Speaker 1:You know what's funny? Because I'm usually like
Speaker 2:Are you like only looking at yourself?
Speaker 1:No. I'm like, do I look stupid? Do I look stupid? Do I look stupid? Oh yeah, they're talking.
Speaker 1:And you're the opposite. No. No. I try to pay attention to
Speaker 2:that mind that I'm paying attention to them, like, I'm paying attention to them and then I'm realizing, oh, shoot. I wonder if I'm like, I look I
Speaker 1:guarantee that you do not look like it's good because through the course of our relationship and through knowing like micro changes in your moods, if you look
Speaker 2:And how they they wane wildly throughout You the
Speaker 1:know, there's pregnancy hormones and whatnot. No. But if you look like you're in a bad mood, I know that you are in one. Because it's it's never a false, it's never a fake signal. No.
Speaker 1:But yeah. It's you should try editing because You
Speaker 2:look like I'm No.
Speaker 1:With editing, if I'm sitting if I'm sitting for literally three, four hours just looking at images of myself cutting and hearing my voice Vorsh. Hearing my voice and seeing an image of myself, the sustaining a level of self consciousness throughout that is it's I feel like
Speaker 2:Well, you just have to get used to it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. I I don't even think you try. Like, you said that, and you said, oh, I I feel I couldn't watch myself. And then I realized, oh, I
Speaker 2:was I listened to it though. Isn't that weird? I was okay listening to it. Oh. But I couldn't watch it.
Speaker 1:But I'm saying that when you said that, I realized when I started editing, I was like very uncomfortable. And I was like, ugh, I'm being annoying there or whatever it is. And then I just stopped to even I'm just like, okay, these are two people talking. Capture the bits. I stopped seeing it as myself completely.
Speaker 1:Well, I get that. But I didn't try. That's what I'm saying. It
Speaker 2:wasn't know an what I effort made that video? That really short video that I made?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Will humming the music or something like that. Is that what I called it? What? I called it Will humming the music. I don't know why.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is a long time ago. I thought you're talking about the the intro video that you made with OBS.
Speaker 2:Oh. No. Down here. Yep. No.
Speaker 2:Okay. But that one, I know what you're talking about. Because I had like a I stopped paying attention to how I looked and was just thinking of what am I trying to accomplish?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, like, I was paying attention to how I looked because I wanted to recreate a specific thing that I had in my mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. But that's a different spot.
Speaker 2:But I was yeah.
Speaker 1:Then who's gonna judge me? Yeah. That's so not useful. I wonder yeah. Why do we all have that?
Speaker 1:I wonder. What do you think? Or do you have more questions? I'm sorry. I don't wanna derail.
Speaker 2:I don't have any more questions, but I do think it would be nice if we maybe, like we don't have to write this second, but it would be fun to say something to our little girl.
Speaker 1:Gosh. Cut can't that even
Speaker 2:say her name. Yeah. I think it'd be fun because she might listen to this someday and it might be fun for her.
Speaker 1:Okay. Do you wanna start or do you want me to start?
Speaker 2:I might cry now that I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 1:Well, there's no other visuals, so it's fine. Okay. Can I say her name for that at least?
Speaker 2:I wasn't thinking of that. I was just thinking like, something about her. But if you wanna talk to her, you could.
Speaker 1:Oh. You want me to
Speaker 2:say something?
Speaker 1:I was
Speaker 2:just thinking like, it could be fun to talk. Like saying a favorite thing about her or something specific to her. Because obviously the parenting stuff we've been talking about are kind of like life lessons.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I can say something about her.
Speaker 2:I guess I could say something about her. Let me think about it
Speaker 1:here. No. Well, I could say yeah. My one of my favorite things about her is that she's extremely well, to be fair, I don't know this particular character or part of her character that she has. I don't even know how special it is because this is our first kid and she's always had it.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:But she's so jovial and
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Outgoing and she just talks with such like
Speaker 2:She's super personable.
Speaker 1:Yeah. She's so personable. And she just People love her instantly. And and and that's again something like, maybe every parent just thinks that. But it feels
Speaker 2:No. That's definitely I've called her the best probably since
Speaker 1:the Is this your thing or my thing?
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sorry. No.
Speaker 1:She I agree. She is the best and everyone yeah. We think that every parent says that, but how many parents have we seen you just talk
Speaker 2:I've never seen your parents say that their kid is the best.
Speaker 1:Yeah. No, like, she has her ups and downs, and will be moody like any human being could be. But she is so she seems so personable and relational and she's just a joy to be around. Just has an energy that's joyful, and it's really good for me who definitely can struggle with being angry or cynical or so many, you know, negative things. And I feel like that's probably from you, but.
Speaker 1:That's from me? Yeah.
Speaker 2:That you get angry? No. No. No.
Speaker 1:It's probably from you, the good and hopeful and stuff.
Speaker 2:No. I mean
Speaker 1:Well, maybe it's maybe both
Speaker 2:of us. Because I think, remember your mom's talked about when you were a kid and that you were her sunshine? I feel like like I forgot that she called you sunshine and then I called Elise oh shoot. I called her my sunshine one time.
Speaker 1:Yeah. She really is though.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. She she totally is. And I can get why How a parent can see their kid like that. Because she really just does like make your day. Just but like as soon as she wakes up, like there's something, she's just ready to go and she's excited and she wants to hang out and she's just got energy.
Speaker 1:You walk into
Speaker 2:Just bear immediately. She's so happy. Yeah. Walk into And she's been like that since she was Yeah. A tiny baby.
Speaker 1:Till she could
Speaker 2:Pretty much.
Speaker 1:Learn parts of words.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Ever since she's been able to smile, basically. She's been Yeah. Super smiley and fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's totally, I would agree. Those things are all my my favorite things too. And I think that having her because there was a big part of me. We didn't know that we were gonna have a daughter. We were gonna be surprised, so we didn't find out what we were having.
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And there was a big part of me that kinda like wanted a boy or thought we would have a boy.
Speaker 1:That's I, thought that too.
Speaker 2:And pretty much the entire pregnancy, I thought we were gonna have a boy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:And then when you said, kinda closer to the end, you had a dream about having a girl. And then I think you, maybe before that, I don't know, you'll have to tell me if the timeline's wrong. But you said something like, I think I kinda want a girl. I was like, why? And you said, well, I just want someone to love me.
Speaker 2:And I thought that was so sweet. I mean, kind of sad because I'm like, okay, well I love you. But also, I got what you were saying because little boys are little hellions. Which Yeah. We might end up with one as well, which is totally fine.
Speaker 2:And they're awesome.
Speaker 1:Little boys usually, yeah, they tend to like
Speaker 2:Little boys are are great. But but when you said that, I was like, okay, maybe it would be fun to have a girl. And then obviously we did. And so I think seeing that softness, because I think part of why I wanted a boy was because obviously I'm a girl. I'm I was a girl and I grew up with kind of like a a sad relationship with my dad.
Speaker 2:And I think that was partly what I didn't want her to have. Not that I thought she would with you, but there was like this element of like association, I think, for a That's
Speaker 1:the new version you'd seen. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And so I There was a part of me that was like, oh, if you have a boy, I can be like the counteractive. I can be the the like female presence in that kid's life in a way that like I didn't feel like my my mom showed up for my brothers. So I could be the the other.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then
Speaker 1:But you can't
Speaker 2:take it how you would have yourself. And then he would have you
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To be a strong male presence and to be obviously an amazing dad to show him how to be. But the girl thing, I don't know, there was something I could only imagine what it would be like to have a negative dad experience as a girl. Yeah. So I think it was hard for me. So anyway, that has kind of been like a really healing experience for me.
Speaker 2:All that to say, it's been really special and healing to watch you with her, and to watch and know that she'll she won't have anything like that. You know, like it'll be a totally Yeah. Amazing experience I think for her.
Speaker 1:Well, and you also have the opportunity to be the mom I don't know. I'm trying to put it delicately. You to be the mom that you wanted to have. Yeah. There's no way to say it.
Speaker 2:There's no way to say it. It's just more like Positive. Having the yeah. Trying at least to to be the to be there for her in a way that maybe I didn't well, doesn't even have to mean that I didn't feel like my mom was there for me. It's just in ways that maybe I would wanna parent differently.
Speaker 1:Which I
Speaker 2:think every parent wants their kid to be a better parent than them, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, hopefully.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I mean, our daughter is so special. She she makes everyone's day. Like anytime she's on, she'll hop on work meetings with me sometimes. And everyone immediately softens and just gets excited to see her.
Speaker 1:And when when we go out to dinner or something like that too, it's like
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:There'll be the not exaggerating five to seven people who are like, oh my gosh, she's so great. She's so cute.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I kind of thought that would stop as she got older. I sort of thought like people would stop doing and ahhing and she's got way more interactive and Hi. Hello.
Speaker 1:That's always yeah. She greets if if a waiter or, you know, if if any kind of if they drop anything off, it's always, day day, which is her thank you, and she she pats her chest, and everything is, yeah, to see I mean, I don't know what the opposite of autism is, but she has it.
Speaker 2:She's highly social.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very social. Yeah, I feel like that's probably a mix of of the two of us. Yeah. Because I feel like you're that type of presence when I whenever I see you interact with people I don't know, but they know you. It's kinda like Yeah.
Speaker 1:They see you as like I'm sure, like, if if at your work, they people are professional enough, but they it's like they think of you as a friend that they like to hang out with. And I'm like, where is this person from? No. But but I'm saying that kind of, like, I feel like you've always had the ability to just relate to people easily. And I feel like
Speaker 2:You're like that for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah. No. I think it's it's a good example of both of us. And I'm sure some of it's genetic, and some of it is just how we interact with people that she sees.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's That's true.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, and I'm thinking about this. I don't We can always cut this earlier. Or or like cut this out and put this somewhere else for her to listen to. But. I think there's something special
Speaker 1:Yeah. She's
Speaker 2:About her being able to maybe hear this someday.
Speaker 1:I'm not someone who has a lot of I'm kind of I feel like I've become less this way, especially through her, and less this way through being married to you. But, you know, struggle with ups and downs over kind of just being a, like, kind of cynical person who I don't like to I don't like to be gooey because of life experience making me feel like that's fake. Mhmm. To be sappy and Mhmm. Oh, like, I love that so much.
Speaker 1:I can see it as false. But seeing, like, seeing the beauty of her as just like an innocent soul is something that is kinda undeniable that you can't be like, whatever. That's meaningless. Mhmm. Like, it's very special to be around someone that pure.
Speaker 1:And pure doesn't mean I think some people like see it like perfection. It just means unadulterated, unfiltered.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And she is that. She's not she doesn't have all these. Fears and damage that we usually carry Totally. To our lives.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm sure there's probably things that are there that we don't know are there right now, I guess.
Speaker 1:It's possible, but yeah. Intuition is she's so open and so she's, you know, she wouldn't have the
Speaker 2:ability No. Hide her fears Perfect. She'd No, that's why I'm pure though. Disobedient and will like be rebellious and stuff. But she's also My only like worry with her is that since she's the oldest, she's gonna end up in the oldest camp of like, she's the really good kid who always does what we say.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But but here's the thing is that because I
Speaker 2:she was disciplined a lot. Like she was paid the most attention to. And but then it kind of backfires later.
Speaker 1:I because
Speaker 2:they're like, you're so hard on me. It's like, you're the only one we paid attention to for the post two years. Two and a years of your life.
Speaker 1:No. I guess that's well, and I think part of the antidote to that is being aware of it as a regular thing that happens within all this, but also something I would wanna change from my childhood. Like, my parents did it. Let's say, specifically, my dad. He did a good job, I think, of talking about struggles and stuff, but I think he had kind of a responsibility to he had a big responsibility in in being a pastor that I wish I would've seen more of like his faults and like if he swore and stuff, what he swore and stuff.
Speaker 1:I wish I knew more about that stuff. Mhmm. And those kind of flaws and just being like a little bit Messy. Yeah. A little bit messy or a little bit of like a rebel kind of.
Speaker 1:I hope that that's something I can convey a little more of to her, so she doesn't feel the pressure to be so good all the time. Because that's something that I wish that I had more of.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Is because I felt a lot
Speaker 1:of pressure. Even though
Speaker 2:I personally unique scenario of being a pastor's kid though, which probably would add that.
Speaker 1:Well, a lot of pressure came from just church people and not necessarily my parents, but you still feel that when you're like like well, I've told you that before where it's like being a prince of a tiny tiny nation where they're like, make sure okay. Wave to everybody. And you're gonna have to make an appearance here. And And you feel like need you have to marry
Speaker 2:the pastor's kid of our neighboring church.
Speaker 1:Yeah. To promote peace. But yeah, you do feel a little bit like, okay, we gotta play the part and be like, a good example. And that's not a pressure that's a pressure you can feel as a child, but you don't really understand it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's true.
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's a good point.
Speaker 1:But I feel like you would have that something similar to that as well, being, you know I feel like almost every kid in a church environment has somewhat of that.
Speaker 2:Probably. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure we did.
Speaker 1:Well, look into it. Wait. I wanted to ask you, did you want me to cut out all the racial slurs that you were saying? Or because I can. I mean, I probably audience, I probably already did.
Speaker 1:Just kidding. Hey, wait wait. It went for
Speaker 2:longer than I expected.
Speaker 1:I know it's the thing is yeah. I hate I hate starting to do things, but once you once I've done something once and I get to feel for it because I feel like I'm so in the moment, I look forward to it. I'll be excited to do this again. But like Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm excited do it again. Do you feel emotionally exhausted from it? Or do you feel fine?
Speaker 1:I could talk for for all of the time, always.
Speaker 2:You don't feel exhausted by
Speaker 1:this? No.
Speaker 2:I could do this don't know if I would do it every night just because we have other stuff to do, but
Speaker 1:I find rest could
Speaker 2:do this
Speaker 1:exhausting. You know what I don't find exhausting is Talking. Action. Any kind of Action. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Any kind of task or thing I get to work on, I could do that forever. The thing I hate is resting and having to go to sleep.
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, that's fair. I think this is this is fun. This is a fun thing for us to do together, but it's also fun. I don't know.
Speaker 2:It feel it there's something about talking and being recorded while talking that makes it feel like you
Speaker 1:You take it seriously? It's okay. Horrible. It's like take it serious, something like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. You take it seriously, but also I think you do try to, manage your time. I mean, didn't manage our time that well, but we didn't say how long we'd go for. But I think we manage our responses more.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, I'm gonna still listen back and be like, gosh, I talk so much.
Speaker 2:I know. We're not gonna have fun editing this probably. Not because you talk so much, but because there's so much.
Speaker 1:Big deal. Okay. To all the salt bros.
Speaker 2:Hey. It's my podcast.
Speaker 1:Oh, sorry.
Speaker 2:Where where can people find you? And what services do you offer? First off
Speaker 1:I'm on
Speaker 2:you're on YouTube as
Speaker 1:I'm on YouTube.
Speaker 2:You do you do content.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. Do video content. Plays salty boy games, one word. Salty boy games, one word. And amalgamatis is what I do for music, which is the word amalgam with a t u s at the end.
Speaker 2:Amalgam.
Speaker 1:Amalgam at us. And
Speaker 2:And he's gonna create the intro and outro.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. Should I
Speaker 2:For this?
Speaker 1:What kind of genre are you thinking?
Speaker 2:Crime. Good. Good. Good. It real crime?
Speaker 2:Oh, what kind of
Speaker 1:No. Yeah. For the music. True crime. True True crime is what it's called.
Speaker 2:I know. I said real crime.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:And then, yeah. And then you can find you can find me and all of my two shorts that I have up on YouTube at salty girl saves, which will probably be changed at some point to match this podcast Okay. Or the like. But this was fun. Yes.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed it. Thank you, listener.
Speaker 1:Keep it good. Keep it gravy. And keep it running on. This is the salty people signing off.