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For over 25 years Proverbs 31 Ministries' mission has been to intersect God's Word in the real, hard places we all struggle with. That's why we started this podcast. Every episode will feature a variety of teachings from president Lysa TerKeurst, staff members or friends of the ministry who can teach you something valuable from their vantage point. We hope that regardless of your age, background or stage of life, it's something you look forward to listening to each month!
Kaley Olson:
Hi, friends. Thanks for joining us for another episode of The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast, where we share biblical Truth for any girl in any season. I'm your host, Kaley Olson, and I'm here with my co-host, Meredith Brock.
Meredith Brock:
Hi, Kaley. I am excited for our friends to get to hear today's teaching from our new friend
Aby McDonald. She's going to share a message all about discerning the voice of God in our lives. And I don't know, maybe our listeners are in a season where they feel like they can't hear God's voice, or [asking] "Why isn't God answering this one thing, and I'm not getting what I have prayed for?" Any of those questions, I think you're going to find some kind of an answer in our podcast today to meet you right where you're at.
Kaley Olson:
Yeah. This is one of those messages that I think I need to chew on. There's just a lot of takeaways to be able to process. And we'll let you guys hear a little bit more about that in just a second. But before we bring Abby onto the show, I wanted to ask you guys for two favors that I hope will only take about a minute of your time. So number one, will you leave us a review, please? If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review is one of the ways that we can connect with you and hear how this podcast might have made a difference in your life.
OK. So the second thing I'd like you to do is share this podcast with a friend. We've got such a variety of content available, and I guarantee you there is one friend or family member that you can share an episode with. And who knows, maybe this will be the episode that you share with your friends or family who might be struggling and wanting to hear for the Lord. So with that, let's transition into our conversation with Abby.
Meredith Brock:
All right everyone, let's welcome our new friend, Aby McDonald, to the podcast.
Aby McDonald:
Hi. I am excited to be here.
Kaley Olson:
Abby, we are so excited that you're here. I want to let our listeners know that you've been a writer for several years, and you serve on the writing team for our Encouragement for Today Devotions. I do want to ask you, how long have you been a writer for our devotions?
Aby McDonald:
I actually just started in January of 2022, and so it's been almost exactly a year now.
Meredith Brock:
Wow.
Kaley Olson:
Happy one-year anniversary. Welcome to the team. We're excited to get to work with you in a devotions capacity but also to have you on the podcast. But also, you're the author of a book called, Shift: Changing Our Focus to See the Presence of God. And a couple of months ago you came to us with a really cool idea for an episode on the topic of discerning God's voice, and Meredith and I were talking about what you sent in and said, “Our listeners really need to hear this message. They are asking the question, ‘How do I know if this is God's voice?’”
I know that I'm asking this, but I also know, Mere, at Proverbs, people come to us whenever they have questions, and it's a really cool opportunity to be able to steward God's Word and be a bridge for people who are really seeking answers. And give them part of a solution to the questions that they're asking most in their lives. And so, Abby, we are so excited to have you on today and are going to turn over the mic to you to be able to give your message.
Aby McDonald:
Thank you. Yeah, I am so excited to be here. Thank you, Kaley and Meredith. My desire to answer this question, “How do I know it's God's voice?,” was really born out of my own struggle. And it's a struggle that I see so many women face. Every week I hear from someone who is either stuck in that cycle of hesitation, questioning whether a word she received is from God, or from someone who did move forward in faith and act on a word she received but then the outcome didn't go as she planned, and so that end result caused her to question, “Was that word really from God?”
I understand these questions because I have wrestled with them myself. My wrestling with God really began early in my life when my knowledge of Him was mostly through the filter of legalism. I went to a Christian school that had a lot of rules about what to wear, what music to listen to, dancing, and dating.
And as a parent now, I see that some of these rules were for my benefit, not necessarily all of them, but as a teenager, it just seemed like my freedom was being withheld from me. And grace was a word that I heard tossed around a lot, but it wasn't really a concept I understood. And while I don't believe grace is a gift we will ever truly understand, I do believe it's what draws us to God. His conviction may keep our past straight, but it's His grace that keeps us in love.
And it's also what enables us to hear from Him and to discern what He's saying to us and move forward. If we only see Him as a distant rule-enforcer, which is how I saw Him for so many years, we will never fully enjoy the friendship with God that He desires for each of us to have.
I finally saw God as that loving Father that He really is after the birth of my first child. And I was knee-deep in dirty diapers and sleepless nights and a really long bout with postpartum depression. My husband and I had just moved cross-country actually less than a year before my son was born. And so it was a lot of transition in a very short time frame, and it was through this unraveling of all my self-sufficiency and desire to be the perfect wife and mother that God drew me to Himself.
And that was the beginning, where I began to recognize His voice, His will for my life, and His direction. But it started with surrender. It started with me saying, God, I need Your help. I can't do this on my own. And the reason I start here is because I believe this recognition is a springboard for many of us. We have to recognize that there's nothing we can do to earn this conversation with God. He speaks to us because we're His. And He leads us because we're His children, and He wants us to live in connection with Him.
And God has already given us everything we need to live in that communication with Him and to hear His voice and respond to His call. Paul actually tells us in Ephesians 2:6 that He seated us with Him in the heavenly realms, and He uses the past tense, not the future. But if we don't recognize that truth, then we'll waste time thinking we need to do better or we have to reach some sort of status on this imaginary prayer totem pole in order to hear from Him. But that's simply not true.
There are hindrances to this conversation though, and the more I enter into this daily conversation, the more God shows me some things that do prevent me from hearing Him clearly. A few of those are the desire for certainty and consistent time in the Word, receiving a different outcome than what I envisioned. Each of these things can keep me from discerning His voice, and they can also make me second-guess a word I receive from Him.
But as I walk with Him consistently and I seek Him, He shows me glimpses of the way He's moving in my life and the lives of those around me. And He shows me I do have a guarantee. And while it may not be the guarantee that I think I need, it's actually better: It's the promise that He's going to be with me no matter what.
So why is hearing from God so awkward and so hard at times? Well, I think that we have to recognize the obvious. We're talking to Someone who's invisible. Yes, He reveals Himself to us in numerous ways, but He's referred to throughout Scripture as the invisible God.
I think sometimes we read these stories of the way God spoke to the prophets, and we think, Why doesn't He speak to me like that? I know I have. I want the burning bush to blaze, and I want to have to hide my face as He goes by. But then God reminds me, even Moses doubted repeatedly. Hearing from God is a lifelong journey, and it's something that we have to commit to daily, but we are creatures of distraction.
I can't tell you the number of times I've been deep in prayer and my phone dings, or my mind wanders, or my stomach rumbles, and I start thinking, What am I going to make for dinner tonight? Talking to God is a battle, and it's a discipline, and our enemy knows this. When I dug into Scripture on this topic, I realized this battle's been going on since the Garden of Eden. Remember Eve and the serpent? That question He asked her is the same question he asks us today. And it's the question that can either cause us to become stuck in our doubts or make us seek God even more. Did God really say that?
One of the reasons this question is so effective is because if Satan can make us doubt what we heard from God, he can keep us from fulfilling the plans God has for us. And the more we ask this question, the more it becomes a perpetual cycle. We can remain stagnant for months or even years, but you know what? We have a weapon, and it's more powerful than anything the enemy can throw at us. The Word of God tells us in John 10:27-28, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand" (ESV).
Now, did you notice, Jesus didn't say My sheep might hear My voice? No, He said they hear Him. So it's not a question of whether or not we have the ability. If we belong to God, we have the gift of the Holy Spirit, and He speaks to us. But to hear Him more clearly, we have to transform our minds. Yes, God has saved us, and He's called us, but we still live in a world filled with distractions. And so in the words of Paul, we have to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, so we can test and approve what God's will is.
Now, our culture tells us a lot of things that push against that transformation of our minds. And I'm not going to cover all of them here today, but I'm going to cover a few. And the first is that our questions warrant an immediate response, and all we have to do is jump on social media to see this. We can receive affirmation or feedback from anything or for anything, from whether or not to buy a dress or whether to take a trip to Disney. Now, I'm not saying that we need to permanently ditch social media, but to say it doesn't affect the way we think would be naive.
A few of the mindset shifts I've witnessed in my own life and friends I've spoken to have been the inability to think for ourselves, the need to seek validation for everything, and the loss of patience. Now, the problem is that if we come to God with this mindset and expect immediate validation for everything, we're going to be disappointed. God is growing us up, and He wants us to exercise our faith. Sometimes this means an answer from Him may take longer than we'd like, and it can mean taking a step of obedience before we know what the outcome will be.
Other times, the outcome may look completely different than we envisioned. And that's OK, because God is still in control. Another lie that our culture tells us is that we can be self-sufficient. But hearing from God will always start with the recognition of our need for Him. Pride and self-reliance has to be replaced by humility and the desire to know God that surpasses our longing for answers. God honors those who determine they're going to obey Him, not after He speaks but before.
The more I walk with God, the more He shows me that hearing from Him is really not as complicated as we often make it. More often than not, my hesitation is due to my own fear and my desire for a detailed GPS route with a clear destination on the map. But this isn't how God speaks. He wants us to rely on Him daily and to be in continual connection with Him.
One of the biggest keys to hearing God and knowing it's His voice is simple. It's paying attention. Colossians 4:2 tells us that being watchful and thankful is an integral part of that prayer conversation. So if I'm not watching for God's answer, thanking Him for it in advance, and paying attention, then I can't expect to discern it. And if I rush past it, I will continually ask that same question: Was it really God?
Because God is infinite, the ways He can speak to us are limitless. A few weeks ago, He spoke to me through a meteor shower. The way He speaks to you may be different because you're His one-of-a-kind creation. But make no mistake, He does, and He will speak. If you sense His voice or His prompting for a specific direction in your life but you're still not sure, I want to encourage you with something I heard a pastor say, "God's will for your life is not a multiple-choice test."
This stuck with me because I know I have thought this way so many times, but God gave us the ability to make decisions so we could exercise this ability. Yes, there are some choices that clearly dishonor God, but if you feel the nudge to do something and it brings some glory, do it. Don't hesitate. Isaiah 30:21 tells us that whether we turn to the right or the left, we will hear a voice behind us, saying, "This is the way, walk in it" (ESV). I'd heard that verse dozens of times, but what struck me recently as I read it is it doesn't say only if you turn to the right or only to the left.
And this is a promise that comes after Israel has messed up and disobeyed God more times than we can count. Sometimes multiple paths can be God-honoring and God-directed. So yes, pray for direction, but don't stay stuck there. If the word you receive lines up with His Word, then take the step. See where God takes you, because faith is activated not by seeing but by doing. As we walk with God and we take these steps of faith, we will learn to recognize His voice more and more, but we will never learn to recognize His voice in a stagnant life. The more we move with Him and we're willing to move with Him, His voice will become more and more apparent.
Over the years, I've learned to recognize a few characteristics of God's voice. Now, this is by no means an all-inclusive list, but there are some characteristics that I've seen repeatedly. And the first is that His voice is consistent and steady. God will never tell us to do something that contradicts His Word. And His Word also tells us He's not a God of confusion.
The second characteristic is that God's voice convicts us, but it does not cruelly threaten us. And so if you hear a voice saying, "You'll never change," or "You'd better do this or else," then that is not the voice of God. Run in the other direction.
The third characteristic is that God's voice propels us to take action. God wants us to live lives of purpose and joy, but we can't do that if we don't act. Have you ever noticed that we don't see the first disciples in Acts questioning whether they're doing God's will? I used to think this was because they had the benefit of seeing Jesus firsthand. And then God gently reminded me one day, You have the same Spirit living inside of you.
The last characteristic is that God's voice reflects His infinite nature. So while many of our thoughts are based on our finite nature and our time on this earth, God is not limited by time, location or circumstances. So when He looks at us, He sees not only the person we are but the person we're becoming. He sees the obstacles we're facing now, but He also sees the ones we can't see yet. He sees each person our story intertwines with now and in the years to come.
If God's answer seems slow in coming, know this: He sees you. He knows the intricate details of your situation. Keep seeking Him and be watchful for His answer. But don't stay stuck there either. If you're hesitant about taking a step or wondering whether a word was from God, ask yourself this: "Does it glorify Him? Does it show my love for Him and His people?" If the answer is yes, you don't have to keep asking. Go in His love and be empowered.
Meredith Brock:
That's so helpful, Abby. I took so many notes. I feel like you had so many different points for us to help filter the way we think about hearing from God. One really stood out to me, and it kind of prompted a question in me too. So get ready, Abby, here I come. It might be a hard one.
But I love that you said, I think you referenced Psalm 23 about how we hear His voice, that's a promise. As a believer, we have this promise that we will … we are capable of hearing God's voice. And what came to mind, and I'm not drawing a total straight line to this but more just opening up a dialogue, but I thought about in the Old Testament when God was silent for, I think it was, 40 years. Am I right? Is it?
Kaley Olson:
400.
Meredith Brock:
400.
Kaley Olson:
Right. Abby, do you know?
Aby McDonald:
400.
Meredith Brock:
Yeah, 400. OK. So He was silent for 400 years. And I think, as I went to a real-conservative Bible college, and I remember people throwing around these phrases, a lot of, "I'm not hearing from God in this season. It's a silent season for me." And they would always kind of reference, not totally draw a straight line back to that like, "Oh yeah, God didn't speak to the Israelites for 400 years," or whatever. Do you think that God puts us into seasons of where He's not speaking, or do you think it's more we're not listening?
Aby McDonald:
That's a really good question. I think it can be both. I think that there are some seasons where God tests us a little bit, where He wants us to take a step of faith, and He wants us to exercise those faith muscles. And so if He just gives us that repeated validation, then that's not going to happen. We're going to become kind of like Gideon, where it's like, "OK, give me another sign, God." And God, He will often give us those signs, but eventually He wants us to just take that step, and He wants us to trust that He's going to be there in that, even when we can't see what the outcome will be.
And so, yeah, I think it can be both, but I think a lot of times it's just because we may not be paying attention. And so I think those are the times when we really need to get still and ask ourselves, Am I really seeking, and am I looking beyond my expectations? Because God can often answer in ways beyond our wildest imagination.
Kaley Olson:
Yeah. That's good. That's really good. I've also heard, because I've asked people that question before, it's kind of bounced around in my mind it seems like, “Would God be totally silent to us?” And I've also heard the answer of, “No, He's never silent because He's spoken an entire book. And so that is His means of speaking to you.”
And I think I wrote down this quote too, from the beginning of your teaching, where you said, "God is growing us up," and sometimes that may mean He has already told you what to do in His Word. And what you're asking for. Like you said, Abby, you want certainty that if you make this certain decision or you do this certain thing, you're going to get this certain outcome. And I hate to use this word, and I don't know if it's accurate, but maybe that's a lesser mature version of faith in God, that you're really looking for a vending machine, that I put these quarters in and I'm going to get this outcome out, than a relationship with a being that loves and knows you.
Aby McDonald:
Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah. And I've been guilty of that. I think we all have, but I do think that that is part of that growing up, just knowing that even if it doesn't look the way I think that it needs to, that God is still going to use it. He's going to use my obedience for His glory and to draw people to Himself.
Kaley Olson:
Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to shift from that.
Aby McDonald:
Yes.
Kaley Olson:
It's just our flesh, right?
Aby McDonald:
Yeah.
Kaley Olson:
The desire for a temporal outcome is such a draw for us as opposed to our desire for an eternal relationship. "I want a temporal outcome. I want to ask for this, God, and You give it to me," and He's saying, I want to give that to you, but more importantly, I want to know you. I want to be with you. And so that may require seasons of Him not outwardly saying, Yes, Kaley, make that decision. Do that thing. Yeah. Instead, He's saying, No, Kaley, come be with me. You know?
Meredith Brock:
Yeah.
Kaley Olson:
It's hard. It's a hard discipline for me. I'm saying it because I'm preaching it to myself, y'all.
Meredith Brock:
Yeah.
Aby McDonald:
Oh, yeah. Amen.
Meredith Brock:
It's interesting you talk about growing up in the Lord, and, Abby, I was thinking about what you said about Moses, and how you referenced the burning bush for a moment. And I think the Bible is a wonderful book for us to learn from, but I think sometimes we can look at the Bible and only see the stories from it and kind of pull that out. And in a way, it can be like watching a movie, where you see something unfold really fast, but then you don't see the day-to-day obedience or whatever.
Because I think whenever we ask this question “How do I know what God wants me to do?” or “What is God's voice, and how do I discern it?” … I don't ask that question when I wake up in the morning and put my feet on the floor and put my contacts in and brush my teeth and go get my boy out of the bed and feed him a bottle and take care of him … I feel like there's these things in our daily life that we have that are growing us up in wisdom if we tune our hearts to His Word and make it a daily habit of growing closer to Him, that then produces the ability to discern the voice. But it's not ever just going to be this momentary circumstance that happens in a picture. I think about the Proverbs and how Solomon, whenever he was writing those, was speaking from wisdom. It wasn't like, "Oh, this just fell out of the sky"; it was like, "No, this is hard-earned knowledge that I have lived, and I'm now passing to you."
And I was thinking about a verse in Proverbs 2 that I read earlier last week, and it starts in verse six. It says, "For the Lᴏʀᴅ grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe" (Proverbs 2:6-11, NLT).
And that to me, that's the person that I want to be so that even if God is silent, maybe He's silent in that one circumstance, or I can't maybe understand what He wants me to do about this specific thing, but I know that knowledge is something that He wants to give me in day-to-day life. But paying attention to His Word and living out that truth and growing up in Him, then gives me the ability to be a woman like you have learned to be, Abby, in discerning God's voice, but it's going to come with a lot of time and a lot of practice.
Kaley Olson:
Yep. Yeah.
Aby McDonald:
Oh yes, definitely.
Kaley Olson:
Growing up always does. And that's what we're all trying to do as believers.
Meredith Brock:
Yeah.
Kaley Olson:
We're trying to grow to be more like Jesus, which is the maturing of our souls. So it's so good. Abby, thank you so much for coming on the show today. I'm sure there are listeners who want to know more about how they can connect with you. So what is the best way for our listeners to connect with you, Abby?
Aby McDonald:
They can hop over to abbymcdonald.org. I have a free e-book that they can download as a gift that's called The Daughter’s Manifesto, and it's just a reminder of who we are in Christ, which is some of what we talked about today.
Meredith Brock:
That's amazing. We'll definitely link those in our show notes for you guys. And also, if this podcast was impactful to you, there are two things Meredith and I are going to mention that you can get your hands on now: first is Abby's book. We mentioned this earlier. It's called Shift: Changing Our Focus to See the Presence of God, and this is the book if you're wanting to see God in the midst of your struggles like we've been talking about today. We know you could shop anywhere, but friends, when you shop with us online at p31bookstore.com, you're supporting our ministry in a tangible way, helping us reach women with free biblical resources just like this podcast. So go ahead and grab it using the link in our show notes.
Kaley Olson:
And finally, we've linked one of our free resources in the show notes as well for you called “Choosing To Trust Over Taking Control.”
Meredith Brock:
Ooh. I think I need it. With this resource, you'll learn how to release the desire to orchestrate how things turn out by settling your soul with 10 days of scriptural reminders about God's unfailing faithfulness. We've linked it, like I said, in our show notes, so go grab it there.
Kaley Olson:
Honestly, Meredith, we've just talked about four things that people can get.
Meredith Brock:
Free things, people.
Kaley Olson:
And learn more about growing closer to the Lord and hearing Him in your struggles. So I love what we get to do here and equipping people with all the things.
Meredith Brock:
Me too.
Kaley Olson:
All right, friends, that is all for today at Proverbs 31 Ministries. We believe when you know the Truth and live the Truth, it changes everything.