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Welcome to The Limitless Podcast with Deanna Herrin, your space to elevate every area of your life. Designed for ambitious souls and entrepreneurs ready to unlock their full potential, this podcast combines mindset mastery, leadership strategies, and transformational insights to guide you toward living a life of abundance and alignment.
Through empowering solo episodes and thought-provoking guest interviews, Deanna reveals the secrets to building confidence, creating meaningful success, and breaking through limiting beliefs. Whether you’re redefining your purpose or scaling your business, this is where the journey to your next level begins. Let’s shatter ceilings and embrace the limitless possibilities waiting for you.
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Website: http://www.deannaherrin.net
Unknown: You are listening to
the limitless podcast. I'm your
host. Deanna Herron, what if you
had no limitations keeping you
from your dream life in 2016 I
had a major tug on my heart to
write a book about my story, and
in the process, I learned that I
had been operating with a very
faulty belief system for the
majority of my life. I've had a
huge transformation since then,
and my life's passion and
mission is to teach you how to
live a limitless life. Join me
on this journey. Let's get
started.
Hello and welcome to the
limitless podcast. This is
Deanna Herron, your host, I'm so
honored that you are here.
Welcome back today. I have a
special guest, someone that I
have known for over half of my
life. My amazing husband, Mark
heron. Welcome to the podcast.
Hi everyone. We are doing
something just a little bit off
the cuff. This is actually take
two the first podcast that
recorded it, the sound didn't
turn right. So we are actually
sitting in my office with a
puppy at our feet. So real, raw
truths from the Heron couple, we
want to share with you some
insights that we've had. So most
of you know that have been with
my podcast. Have known that over
the last year, I've really been
through a tremendous amount of
healing after the death of my
mother, and just really looking
into some different traumas,
different belief systems, et
cetera. And that's where I
really got interested in the
subconscious mind and
subconscious reprogramming. So
it's really about the stories
that we are not aware of that
are actually running the show,
and that was true for what was
happening in our marriage. And
when I recognized that I was
starting to heal in other areas
of my life, I turned my focus
on, what can I do to be a better
version of myself in my
marriage? Because I was actually
in the throes of playing the
blame game, trying to fix him,
trying to control the situation,
trying to look for new
strategies on how we could be a
better couple, but I really
never took a look on the inside.
So our transformation has been
phenomenal since we have
transitioned through the last
couple of years, and we wanted
to share with you. I really
wanted you to hear from him more
than anything, we wanted to
share with you the three things
that we have noticed about each
other through the process of our
healing. A lot of times, you
just hear my story and what I've
done, but there's been major
transformation in my husband as
well. And so I would love for
you to share, and this is
totally off the cuff you. I know
you weren't expecting this, but
just a little bit about why did
you decide to start doing the
work? Because I know we have
talked about this before. It's
very difficult sometimes for men
to actually want to dive in and
look at some things within them.
So what? What made you decide to
do that, and what was the
process of that? Well, I I
went kicking and screaming. I
wanted no part of it, but it
really came down to watching
what you were doing and seeing
this transformation take place
that I think just that dripping
a little bit at a time through
that incredible journey that you
took, caused me to reflect on my
own life, and just, I don't
know, felt like that I needed to
do my part. Problem was I didn't
know how, yeah, and that, I
think, is, was the biggest
stumbling block. I wasn't that I
necessarily didn't want to. It's
just I didn't know how to, and I
didn't know that I really cared
to learn how to it was
uncomfortable. So that's that,
that's really what I think
pushed me into my own personal
journey.
Yeah, so I wanted him to share
that simply because, you know, a
lot of times you guys, it is
really difficult for husbands to
step into and I don't think it's
because they don't want to. It's
because they don't know how to
men have really been taught to
suppress their emotions. A lot
of us, women have as well. But
really suppress their emotions,
suck it up. You're a tough
person, etc. And so actually
expressing those emotions and
feeling those emotions is very
foreign to them. All of that to
say the idea is for two of you
to to heal, but I do want you to
know you can make a dramatic
change in your marriage with
your own personal healing. And
that's what I was determined to
do, because I'm sitting next to
a man, and he will admit to
this, doesn't even like to read
books, so for him to do his own
personal growth and development
has been not just personal
growth and development. It's way
beyond that, like really taking
a deep dive on the inside to
figure out what his triggers
were, what his resentments were,
and healing from that space. So
I'm going to start off, and I'm
going to share what I have loved
about what I have seen in you,
and. And what I appreciate about
you in so many ways. And just to
preface about what I'm about to
say, I we had some disconnect.
We we had a really good
marriage, but we didn't have an
awesome marriage, and there was
a disconnect. And I couldn't I
didn't really know how to
communicate what I was feeling,
but it was an emotional
disconnection, and what I have
loved through this journey is
watching my husband through that
ability for him to emotionally
connect with me by sharing some
of his innermost secrets, and,
you know, asking questions about
some of his struggles, etc, it
has really made him a very, very
safe space for me, and when I
feel safe, those walls go down,
and the same for him. And what
that has done is it has created
a whole new level of intimacy
when you both feel safe and held
and seen and important. So I
think for me, that was one of my
biggest that I have found within
us, and I want to thank you for
that. Thank you for letting me
in and letting me see not just
the really amazing things about
you, but some of the hard shadow
parts that are difficult to
address.
Oh, thank you. Well my first
one, I your your question
earlier, hit on my first one,
watching you go through this
journey has been remarkable.
There were times where it was I
watched how absolutely wrong,
brutal it was. And you know,
you, you had, you had just a
transformational experience that
I don't even really know how to
describe. And watching you go
through that, and watching you
do the work, and witnessing was
tough, because it's somebody you
love, and you don't want to see
them hurting. And there was a
lot of you had to deal with, and
a lot of baggage that you had to
stow away. And so it was, it was
a journey, but thank you for
paving the way, because your
courage and your tenacity to do
that was the reason we're
sitting here right now. Had you
not done it, I wouldn't done it,
wouldn't have known to do it,
and would still be living and
having a good marriage, but not
a great welcome. Yeah, there
were many times when I would
say, babe, I need to go in my
closet. That was my that was my
safe space, my space to cry it
out, my space to feel it. And
it's, you know, when you first
start a healing journey. And I'm
not saying that you will go
through this. When you go
through your journey. I have my
own journey, and there was a lot
of trauma in my life, and
ancestral trauma that was, you
know, brought into my life as
well. And in the beginning,
that's what I was really working
through, but it was really
getting into the subconscious
stories. The stories are the
ones that are actually running
the show. And what played out in
our marriage for me, most of all
was I am not important. I'm
dismissed, and I've had such a
fear of abandonment, and you
want to share what yours have
been, your subconscious stories
that played out over and over.
Well, the the abandonment was,
was one I've shared this before.
I went to 11 different schools
growing up, and I went through
friends literally every year.
And what you took from that was,
you know, I know I'm only going
to have these people for a short
time. And the ones I got close
to, I, you know, I lost. And so
it, you know, it sort of it
formed a pattern that, you know,
I really didn't know how deep in
and sunk that I carried into
this relationship. And so what
you do is, you know, you in
order to keep somebody, you work
hard, yep, and you try to
please, and you you meet needs
that really you don't need to,
right? And that that's how I did
it. I tried to earn it, yeah, so
that was the big one, yeah. And
when you know, when you probably
experienced this in your
marriage, as well as when you're
trying to communicate, you're
trying to communicate what you
need, and they go into do mode,
I'll do the laundry, I'll do
I'll do more of this. I'll do
more of this. And really, what
we're wanting is that emotional
connection, and that was the
disconnect for us for so long,
until we started to work with
the triggers. And what we're
talking about the subconscious
stories. Those are stories that
have been playing out in your
subconscious mind, and they
actually look for the story in
the other person. And that's why
this relationship is so
invaluable. Is because he's here
to teach me what those stories
are, not that he's to point them
out. That is, that is me, that's
my part, and his part is to is
to figure out what his are. But
during our relationship, during
conversations, there will be
times when it's like, oh, that
this is my story. There will be
triggers where I'm experiencing
something and you get really
upset because it's bringing up
an old wound, an old story. And
so it's almost like we're. King
off a list. There it goes again
that he's dismissing me again.
See, he's dismissing See, I feel
abandoned. He's making me feel
abandoned. And we start that
blame game. We blame the other
person. And like I said, we
start to try and fix the
circumstance. We want
strategies. We want to fix
things. And really the answer is
the stories that you are playing
in your subconscious mind. So
that was the work that I had to
do, and it really started to
play out this so beautifully in
our marriage. It helped heal so
many different areas, not just
our marriage, but other
relationships. Our relationship
with God, has transpired so much
so it impacts every other
relationship in your life. So
I'm so grateful. The second
thing you know, I love how what?
When we have interactions and we
have discussions that we fight
arguments, whatever want to call
them, you're less reactive and
more responsive. And I love that
about you, because I know that
sometimes when I come to you
with things that are upsetting
me, it's taken very personally
and defensive. And you've
learned not that doesn't have
anything to do with you
necessarily, but and you're
you're ready to listen and
respond instead of just react in
defensiveness. And I think that
was, you know, both of us doing
that together, going back and
forth with that defensiveness.
We never really got any
arguments or anything really
settled, because it would just
end up, we would end up in
different rooms, or, you know,
not speak for a couple of days,
or whatever that happened to be.
So just the fact that you are
more responsive than reactive.
Thank you. You're number two for
me, kind of a tough one to talk
about, but your work, my work,
where we are now, has led to a
different level of intimacy and
spicy Well, I told you, and you
know what, what I've learned is
that in order for it to really
be all that it can be, you have
to feel safe. And so you know
that that helped to know that's
important for you. But I really
appreciate one you, you said
that about me earlier, that you
feel safe around me. I
appreciate letting you letting
me in and where you feel and
trust that I'm here for you. I'm
here for me too, but I'm here
for you, and I'm not going to
break that trust, and what it
has led to is just a deeper
level of trust and intimacy
within our relationship. I love
that, and that had been missing
for few years.
Yeah, yes, and thank you for
saying that. It's it's fine if
it's spicy. And I think the
reason why the disconnect was
there is we had so much built up
resentment, and we didn't
recognize, neither one of us
recognized how much that
resentment told a story, a
different story, and actually
was the vehicle to uncover the
stories that needed to be healed
and and once we were able to do
that and come back together, and
there was just a softness on
both of us, the armor I felt
like just went down a little
bit. We weren't so ready to go
to war and ready to be a
partner, and that's been
beautiful. And you guys, I want
you to understand that we all go
through all of this in our
relationship and but it's not
knowing exactly what it is and
how to communicate that, and
that's what I'm here for. That
is this is because of what we
have experienced, because what I
have experienced in my life
through working through lots of
stories and traumas, et cetera,
it's giving you the tools on how
you can make the change in you,
because the change has to come
within you as well as the change
in your husband. But when you
start to change you without the
expectation of him doing the
work. Something starts to
happen. The energy of the
marriage starts to change, and
it's palpable to him, like he
said, I can't even explain it.
It's palpable to him. And they
see a different side of us, and
we are learning that I was
learning that I am important,
and that doesn't mean that he
has to make me feel important. I
am responsible to make me feel
important. I learned that there
are times when I dismiss myself,
so I'm teaching him that it's
okay to dismiss me, because I
dismiss myself. So I had to
learn to make myself important,
feel important, not dismiss
myself and not to abandon
myself, and those are all great
tools that I teach in a lot of
my marriage program. So are we
on number three? Number three?
Number three? Maybe. I don't
know. I don't know if it's my
favorite, but I love the fact
that we have a lot going on
right now, by the way. In our
lives, and just, you know,
little sidebar there, there's,
there's a lot happening, and all
good, all amazing things are
happening. And sometimes we are
in that busy phase of our life,
and we've been in that busy
phase of our life so many times
when our kids were young, when
they were all in sports, and we
were working and both trying to
have our careers and be
successful at while we're great
parents and moving all the
moving pieces that we lose a
little bit of touch for the
present moment. And this, this
is a recent one, and it was, you
know, that you noticed that i My
mind was in all the different
directions of all the things
that we have going on. And you
just said, What can I do to make
you feel present in the moment,
to bring you back to the now?
And it that just the leading of
that was so powerful for me that
you led me back to the present
moment. And so I just wanna
thank you for your leadership
with that. And it just touched
me in such a way that, yeah, I
couldn't melt at that moment and
just be present with you.
Thank you. My third one is
really speaks to where you were
and where you are now, when we
first got married and Deanna was
practicing medicine. The gift
that she had for healing people,
not just their infirmity or
their condition, but to heal
their heart. She attracted
people. It was amazing. And, you
know, I don't know what it was
about you. It's the same thing
that's attracted me, I'm sure,
but there's just something that
draws people to you. And there
was a period of time where I
think you switched that to
instead of the focus being on
healing people, it was on
achievement. And you know,
there's nothing wrong with with
achievement. There's nothing
wrong with setting goals and
meeting them. There's nothing
wrong with having but sometimes
it can lose its place. And you
know, there were years there
where the important things were
how much money I can make and
what trip I can earn, and if I'm
on stage, and if I'm, you know,
winning this award or that
award. And, I mean, I know it
too. I was a coach, it's easy to
fall into that. But what I've
seen is part of this
transformation I talked about
earlier, is this movement back
to where you're so concerned, or
you have such a heart for
healing other people, where you
know they're they're coming
back. We drove to Oklahoma City
on Sunday because she had
promised a group of ladies that
she would come and speak to
them, and it was our schedules
really didn't have margin to do
it, but you did it five hour
trip, there, back, yeah, lunch
on Monday, you met with someone
about their marriage, who's a
dear friend, and you helped walk
them through some things.
There's this desire within you
to give, and you also can lose
yourself in that I've done it.
You give yourself away and you
lose yourself in that process.
But you found this balance of
taking care of yourself but also
making sure that you're
available for others. And that
ministry that you have to other
people is powerful, and it's
part of the reason you're
successful with this
coincidence. So I love seeing
that art that you have expressed
that way. Yeah, yeah.
And I did, I honestly, I did
lose that for a while, and that
was one of the things like I
want, where did that Deanna
herring go? I want that part
back. And truth be told, you
guys, we are all searching for
love and acceptance in this
world, love and acceptance. And,
you know, searching for love and
acceptance with my husband, love
and acceptance through the world
and the way the methods in which
we do that can all be very
different. For me, it was the
achievement trap. Really, the
more I achieved, then that would
give me the love and acceptance
that I was desiring, that I was
craving, if I just did something
different in my marriage, then I
would get the love and
acceptance that I was craving.
But truth be told coming full
circle back to who I am and who
I'm created to be, who you are
and who you are created to be,
is learning to love and accept
ourselves. And then there's a
bonus that our partner loves us
and accepts us. But I don't need
anybody else to love and accept
me, because I love and accept
me. And when I can love and
accept me, I can, in return,
give that in such huge ways.
Thank you for another. Seen that
you're welcome. Yeah, I do feel
more aligned, for sure, in the
work that I do. So any exposing,
anything that you want to share
about, you know, if there's any
guys out there listening to
this, do the work. No excuses.
Just do the work. And if you
don't know how find out, you
know it's out there. But what's,
what's the most important thing
in your life? And if you say
family, if you say your, your
wife or partner, then do the
work. Just, just don't assume
that it happened without
the work. Yep, for sure. So
thank you so thank you so much
for joining us. Thank you for
allowing us to be real raw in
the midst of dogs everywhere,
drinking water right now, which
you might be able to hear and
you know this is us, and we want
to be real with you. We want to
share with you our journey so we
can offer some hope for yours in
just knowing that you know it,
you can turn things around, but
it starts with you. So I believe
in you. Thank you for joining
me, and I'll see you next
Tuesday. God
bless. I'm honored to have you
as part of the limitless
community. If this podcast has
added value to you, I'm going to
ask you to do two things for me.
Number one, share it with your
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Follow me on Instagram at Deanna
heron. I always love hearing
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group. I look forward to seeing
you next week. God Bless You.
You.