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We're all riding pretty high on our victory over Vikshi, but after a rumble and a tumble we end up at a different dance altogether.
We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!
Last time on Cursebreaker. Holy shit, y'all. We killed a dragon. Well, we didn't kill it. Even better, Snack had every opportunity to do so, and he turned the other cheek.
Tim / GM:I'm I'm just so darn proud. After that, Joe was ready to call it quits and we let him take a portal straight into a prison cell in the heart of Tildry. Now we just need to divvy up this treasure and see where this passage leads out to. I'm feeling good. If a full size dragon can't stop us, I'm not sure anything can.
Tim / GM:As you all recall, we had sorry. We you all had just gotten rid of the dragon Vixi, flew out of this, mountain caldera. Joe was sent back to Tilderie, leaving just the lot of you in this chamber to divvy up your dragon treasures and whatever else is left behind here. Emery and Law are standing in the threshold of this room, kind of talking over what their next moves are gonna be. As you guys are handing out treasures to each other, Law steps forward and says, I think I'm actually feeling good enough to fly.
Tim / GM:And he, kind of flaps his arms up and down a little bit inside the room, and you see a couple, smoldering feathers, like, fall away from him. He says, maybe.
Thomas / Guy:Are are you sure, dude? You could travel back with us if you're not feeling up to it.
Tim / GM:Where are y'all headed?
Thomas / Guy:Where are we headed?
Speaker 3:I think Vindorn, eventually.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. That's the final destination.
Tim / GM:At the mention of that tibial, you all hear this stone scraping, and you think it's the sarcophagus lid coming off again. But you actually see a door in the back of this chamber start to slide open. It looks much like the door of markings, kind of a mirror of what you would come from.
Speaker 4:We should probably check that out. Right?
Thomas / Guy:What's that?
Tara / Journey:Probably, Tibio sneaks up to the door. Not literal sneaking, just like tentative walking.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Looking down this pathway, there's a bunch of, like, old dusty cobwebs, but the stonework in here is immaculate compared to everything else. You have it in your head that this might be the first time anyone has ever looked into this passage since its creation. It looks untouched aside from, you know, dust and spiders.
Tara / Journey:Can I, investigate a little bit and see what's going on there? I don't wanna fall into a trap. Sure.
Speaker 4:14.
Tim / GM:It it it does not look like this was constructed in the same way that the rest of this place was. I would hedge that against the idea that if no one has been down this way, they wouldn't have set off traps that might be there. You think the traps are over with, but you would not stake your life on it.
Hannah / Eryn:Sure.
Speaker 3:Should we explore Magia, or do we want to collect ourselves before we move on?
Thomas / Guy:Does it seem safe? We know all know how this weirdo love straps.
Speaker 3:It looks fine. It looks untouched, but that is no guarantee.
Tim / GM:I I just need another minute. You look over and see Emery is walking over to a bunch of jars and vials, that had been left behind by Joe. You can see he's, like, wiping some, like, pinkish red residue off the inside of one of the jars and, like, trying to get it, like, in his mouth and in his gums. And he's like, there's still a little bit of healing potion in some of these.
Speaker 4:Oh, no. No. Hold on. I let loose a thunder wave.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Rip a big one.
Thomas / Guy:Wirt instinctively, flames.
Speaker 4:I do not surge. Everyone in a 15 foot cube. 10 HP to everyone.
Hannah / Eryn:Thank you.
Speaker 7:Oh, that's nice.
Tim / GM:Emery kind of, like, straightens his back and, like, looks you straight in the eyes Uli, as the healing kind of washes over him, and there's this, almost like cherub like angel, like as the thunder wave rolls out instead of a deafening blast. And it's just like
Speaker 4:this. And,
Tim / GM:like, you can see a couple of the jars on the shelves start to, like, rumble and levitate in the air as they're overwhelmed with healing magic. And then when the ends, all the jars just fall and shatter on the ground.
Speaker 4:I meant to do that.
Speaker 3:Probably for the best, all of Joe's potions could have been poisoned.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It's very likely. It was very intentional to destroy those. I'm gonna take the patch off and replace it with Dave.
Tim / GM:Okay. Do you,
Thomas / Guy:you feel okay, Emery?
Tim / GM:He kinda, like, rolls his shoulders and says, I do now. Yeah. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Good. Why don't you go down the hall and check, for traps down here?
Tim / GM:He, like, looks over at you, and he says, do I look okay? And, like, he's got, like, burns. And, like, he like I said, he's down to his trousers, like, and, like, a couple belts for his sword and stuff, but he's, like, mostly, like, been scorched nude. And my might look okay, don't I?
Speaker 4:Ew.
Speaker 3:I think you look wonderful given the circumstances, and I am glad that you are okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Thanks, Tibio. Anyway, he
Tara / Journey:Tibio gives a thumbs up.
Tim / GM:He walks towards that, passageway and kind of peeks in and opens the stone door a little wider. And he looks back at all of you, and he says, so we're going this way?
Hannah / Eryn:After you? Yeah. He can Probably kicks him in. No. I'm just kidding.
Hannah / Eryn:She doesn't. Oh my god. Just kidding.
Tim / GM:Seems pretty much normal. Anybody have a light?
Thomas / Guy:I, light up a haunted candle from episode 1.
Tara / Journey:Dope.
Speaker 8:Okay. What?
Tim / GM:Yeah. You just kind of, light it and and push it gently towards Emory, and it kinda floats into the room. And you see him, like, kinda glance behind himself, and he goes, oh, spooked me. And he just grabs it and, like, walks with it. What?
Tim / GM:It okay. He keeps walking until he's just kind of a glimmer at the, like, end of where you see the tunnel cut off, and he says, It turns down here.
Speaker 4:Are we gonna follow him?
Tara / Journey:Tibia shrugs and follows him. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:We're going. Yeah. I'm going.
Hannah / Eryn:I'll follow him.
Tim / GM:Law says, I'll see y'all again real soon. I just I gotta spread the news about Vixi. I know a lot of people that are they're ready to get on with their lives.
Speaker 3:Oh, Le, mister Le, could you go to, this there's this place where there are very many, refugees who are hiding from the dragon. Would you be able to go to them and tell them that it is safe?
Tara / Journey:And I give him directions to the place.
Speaker 4:My brother's there, so it would it would be really nice
Tim / GM:if you could. Really? Bent is there?
Speaker 4:A different one.
Tim / GM:Oh. Oh, Barrett's there?
Speaker 4:Different one. Other
Tim / GM:one. Borick's there?
Speaker 4:No. It's Dorr.
Tim / GM:Oh, sure. Sure. Angry one. Alright.
Speaker 4:I had forgotten his name.
Tim / GM:I'm glad we got to get through all the other brothers. Alright. I think I know where that burned village is you were talking about. So, yeah, I think I can find that place.
Speaker 3:Yes. It is very close. And if you wait, if you cannot find it, someone will come out eventually. There is a a football named Kevin.
Tim / GM:Kevin, the the serial killer?
Speaker 3:What?
Tim / GM:I'm just chicken. I'm I'm just chicken. Just chicken? Hold on. No.
Tim / GM:That's how Law says he's joking. He goes, I'm just chicken. And then he flaps away.
Speaker 4:Oh my god.
Speaker 9:No.
Speaker 4:I'm going in the tunnel. Okay. Bye.
Speaker 7:Before we do that, are we are we leaving behind the cobalt dwelling?
Tim / GM:Well, if if Snack wants to, like, do something about the bodies or see his, like, enclave again, I mean, this would be the time to do it, I think.
Tara / Journey:Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's good to know. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Hey hey, Snack. Are you are you coming with us? Are you alright after everything that just happened?
Speaker 9:I feel I must say goodbye to my siblings.
Thomas / Guy:Oh. Oh, yeah. Of course. Are are they all okay? They weren't part of the
Speaker 9:I I don't believe so.
Speaker 3:Do you want company?
Speaker 9:Yeah. Yes.
Speaker 4:You wouldn't be able to tell if any of them were his family. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yes. I I meant to be able to. Let me, let us go check snack, and then and then we can go see our family one more time.
Speaker 7:Yes.
Thomas / Guy:Hey, Emery. We're we gotta take a detour. We'll check out the tunnel a little later.
Tim / GM:He's, like, so far down there.
Speaker 4:Oh, boy. Good lord.
Tim / GM:We'll cut to this scene. We're kind of, like, pulling out, looking at Snack and Tibio standing on the middle of the bridge. You can see all these, like, scorch marks and broken pieces of stone where Vixi had collided with the bridge. And Tibio, you raise your arm and and, Snack, you see kobolds of all states of decay and burn begin to climb the bridge and kind of, like, line up and then, like, lay themselves to rest.
Tara / Journey:Can I tell if any of these are related to snack?
Tim / GM:Probably all of them are in some way related to snack. You know, they're part of his brood. Sure. But snack, you know, they're in various states of being burned. You don't recognize really anyone here.
Speaker 9:Thank you, Tibia. I believe these are not my siblings.
Tara / Journey:Yes.
Speaker 3:I cannot tell you that way, but I think you are right. Let's go find out for sure. Woah.
Speaker 9:Snack. Snack, how?
Tim / GM:How is this? You, look up to your left, the way you came in. Snack, you see your little brother Martin. He is, like, toddling down the giant steps and calling out to you, and he's just, like, flopping his, like, oversized cobalt feet, like, walking towards you.
Speaker 7:Okay. I'm gonna quickly use minor illusion to make a giant, pile of shit, like, in front of the kobold bodies.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. You just, like, cover the whole thing in, like, debris.
Hannah / Eryn:It's a big dragon dump.
Tara / Journey:He specifically said shit.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 7:Yeah. I did. It's a big pile of poop. That's the only thing that I could think of.
Speaker 4:It's high honor.
Speaker 9:Careful, Martin. It's, that's dragon poop over there. What? That's very hot. Big.
Speaker 9:Yes. Yes. Don't get any closer. Don't look too closely.
Speaker 3:Did you make the dragon go away?
Speaker 9:Yes, Martin.
Speaker 3:Yes. He did. The dragon will be back, but he will no longer be so mean. Snack made him change his mind.
Speaker 8:You made a dragon go away?
Speaker 4:I can't look at your face when you're doing this.
Speaker 9:Yes, Martin.
Tim / GM:He hugs your leg.
Speaker 9:Oh,
Tim / GM:mid talking to him, he's just upon you, and he's, like, grasping your leg, just kinda wrapped around it.
Speaker 9:Aw. Martin, does our father treat you well? Are you do you feel safe? I can't help but notice you are also small for cobalt your age.
Speaker 8:Mhmm. Time is bad. Older brothers say never worse, but papa eats last.
Speaker 9:Martin, I believe this dragon is no longer a threat to you, or father, or the others. He's wrong, you know.
Speaker 3:Wrong? How is papa wrong?
Speaker 9:He's wrong about some things.
Speaker 8:Are you right about everything?
Speaker 9:Yes. But that's not important right now.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 9:I want you to know a few things, Martin. 1, hot cocoa is fucking awesome. It is real. If you ever have the opportunity, do seek it. Hot cocoa.
Speaker 9:The sun gets easier should you have a brave the surface world, and trusting others is not always weakness. Sometimes, yes, but you'll know when it's okay.
Speaker 8:You've got a lot of funny ideas.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna telepathy to snack. Snack?
Speaker 3:We should we should bring him with us.
Tim / GM:Amid this snack, you also hear
Speaker 9:I step in front of Martin and look around for this sound.
Tim / GM:You track it down, in this pile of illusory shit. There is one kobold that is not yet dead, just kind of, rousing to life.
Speaker 9:Tibeo, can can you help with this? What it He's not dead yet.
Speaker 3:Yes. Let me see.
Thomas / Guy:I might be able to help. Martin, when was the last time your family had a good meal?
Speaker 8:Oh, we got to eat a whole goblin last week.
Thomas / Guy:A week ago, that's pretty bad. What if I were to say you could be treated to a nice hero's feast?
Speaker 8:I'd say don't pull my leg, short guy.
Thomas / Guy:I wouldn't dream of it, He says,
Speaker 8:no. I want hot cocoa.
Thomas / Guy:I think that can be arranged. Why don't we all go down these stairs and have some nice hot cocoa?
Tim / GM:Martin, like, reaches up, at you, Bert, like, to be picked up.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Tim / GM:And he just goes,
Speaker 9:hot cocoa.
Speaker 7:I do a wink at Bert, but it's a side eye wink.
Tara / Journey:Yeah. I wander over to the dying but not dead kobold and give a little healing word at first level.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Tara / Journey:So that'd be 6.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Cobalt is stabilized and probably close to fully healed. It stands, immediately up out of the shit pile and, looks over at Snack. It's still kind of, like, scorched and a little roughed up, but it's alive.
Tim / GM:Again, doesn't look like anybody you'd recognize Snack, but it understands exactly what's happened here, at least to the degree that you've saved it. It seems at a loss for words, but it bows its head to you as it would a dragon.
Speaker 7:I give a slight nod in with thaumaturgy, let out a little bit of just, like, golden wispy smoke out of my nostrils, and my eyes flash a little.
Tim / GM:It bows, like, even lower and kind of, like, presses its forehead to the ground and it says,
Speaker 8:my life is yours.
Speaker 9:Would you become a suitor for a snack?
Tim / GM:It, you can see that suggestion kind of, like, roll over it, and it's like there's an impact to it. Like, it knows what it must do. It says, of course.
Speaker 9:Not now will I take you up on this offer, but I much appreciate it. You see the little one, and I give a nod towards Martin.
Tim / GM:He nods.
Speaker 9:He is of my brood. I will eat him.
Speaker 8:What? What?
Speaker 9:No. Please do please do not do that.
Speaker 8:Not eat him.
Speaker 9:It's inappropriate for me to laugh. It's my brother. He is small, but he will be strong, and please ensure he survives for when I return.
Tim / GM:This I can do. You have saved Razorfinger. Razorfinger.
Tara / Journey:Fantastic.
Speaker 9:Thank you. Raise Razor finger.
Tim / GM:That's your name? You may call me.
Speaker 9:Keck. Keck. Perfect. Farewell and do what cobalt do best.
Tim / GM:But you don't want me to eat him. Right?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 9:Well, except for that one. That's the one exception. Yeah.
Speaker 8:Yes. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes.
Tim / GM:He, kinda watches over Martin and then looks back up at you, and he's like,
Speaker 9:I'm doing it. You can have our cock or 2,
Tim / GM:I suppose. Yes. He does the, like, elbow into his own gut, like, yes.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Emery is, anxious to get a going.
Hannah / Eryn:Hey, guys.
Speaker 4:Yeah. What what is taking so long?
Thomas / Guy:I got some hot cocoa and bacon brewing down here if anyone wants some.
Speaker 4:That sounds like an awful combination, but okay.
Thomas / Guy:It's kind of a cobalt centered meal.
Hannah / Eryn:I can have some hot cocoa. Holly flies over on her broom
Tim / GM:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:And grabs a cup.
Tim / GM:Let's call that a short rest?
Tara / Journey:Yeah. Sure.
Tim / GM:With the hero's feast?
Speaker 3:But, you
Speaker 4:know, fuck Emery.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I'll bring some to Emery.
Thomas / Guy:Snack I just remembered. I need a 1,000 gold to cover the cost of the spell.
Speaker 9:Well, I hit the mallet on the ground and summoned Marco Bingo.
Tim / GM:Okay. What?
Speaker 7:Oh. What?
Speaker 9:Crap. Oh,
Tim / GM:I am This is the weirdest day.
Speaker 9:Yes. We don't have a lot of time, Margo. On behalf of, Farewell, me here, Snackers, just asking for some, do we have some dividend from Farewell's investments, perhaps a 1,000 gold?
Tim / GM:You know Farewell. His money's kind of tied up right now, Snack. I'm actually talking with some people right now.
Speaker 9:Is this gonna help, Bert?
Thomas / Guy:Do you have a gem encrusted bowl on you?
Tim / GM:Just the one.
Speaker 9:Oh, perfect.
Tim / GM:That'll do. Do you have any collateral?
Thomas / Guy:Bacon?
Tim / GM:Oh, guys.
Thomas / Guy:We just killed a dragon. We probably have collateral.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I I have to assume it's for a good reason.
Speaker 9:Very good. Very very good.
Tim / GM:She, she takes off a ring from her finger and gives you a gem encrusted ring. We'll say that'll work. The fuck. She's like, listen. We're making some big moves.
Tim / GM:I'm actually talking to some investors right now. I'm actually out of Tildry. Investors. This might be a and she disappears.
Hannah / Eryn:Investors. I wonder what that was all about. Well, no. Didn't she mention something about funding for the tower?
Thomas / Guy:He had to rebuild the tower.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Who's this Farewell guy?
Speaker 9:But I was talking about him.
Hannah / Eryn:You said you know him, Snack.
Thomas / Guy:I know. Farewell.
Speaker 4:Yes. You do?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Speaker 4:Hey. Remember when we said friends don't keep secrets?
Thomas / Guy:I don't know if it's for me to say.
Tara / Journey:Tibio was messing around with all the cobalt bodies and making sure that they were all all the bones were in their correct places and that they were all buried separately, but close together as a little buried brood. And he comes back up and says, are we going?
Speaker 3:I think Emery is waiting for
Tim / GM:us. He's like, come on.
Speaker 9:Yes. Snack is good at, triggering traps.
Thomas / Guy:So Alright. Do we all eat this hero's feast?
Speaker 9:I will have some.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. What does it do? What do we get from a short rest in hero's feast?
Tim / GM:So short rest, you can use your hit thigh to recover HP.
Thomas / Guy:Everyone gets 14 hit points, and also your max HP is increased by 14 for 24 hours.
Speaker 9:Nice. So
Speaker 4:did we use Margo's wedding ring for that?
Thomas / Guy:I feel a little weird about it. Please remind me to pay her back.
Hannah / Eryn:It might be her guild ring. I don't know if I don't think Margo is married. So Holly is zooming around everyone on the bridge, eating this hero's feast, and she's sipping her hot cocoa on her broom, like, perched on the broom. And she's like, alright. Can we get going now?
Hannah / Eryn:I think Emery's waiting, and she's holding a cup of hot cocoa. And she's like, I really just don't want this to cool down too much.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Law takes a couple bagels to go off the hero's feast and, flies out of there. Emery never left the cave tunnel once he got in there. He was, like, dead set on getting ready to go. So, Holly, you show up with an extra cup of cocoa and a little snack for him.
Hannah / Eryn:Drink this. And she shoves it in his chest and spills a little bit on him.
Tim / GM:He's like, my burns. Yeah. He, he starts down the tunnel, leading the party, strangely as that is, sipping his cocoa.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly doesn't walk anywhere anymore. She's flying out her room, just hovering as much as possible.
Speaker 7:Snack runs up to walk slightly in front of Emery.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. He does this thing every now and then where he, like, decidedly gets ahead of you just to piss you off.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly just flies behind them and is, like, giggling to herself. Like, no. Those idiots
Speaker 4:pissing contest.
Tim / GM:Yep. It becomes obvious pretty soon that, definitely nobody has ever been down this tunnel. You guys are the first people to ever set foot in here. Despite that, you do notice some signs of damage. It looks like natural geological damage.
Tim / GM:There are some minor cave ins in here, and you can see this part of the tunnel where some, like, loose silt had, like, spilled into it, almost entirely closing off this area that you're moving into now. Suffice to say, it's not a perfect journey, but you've been on foot for well over a mile now.
Speaker 4:On Broom.
Tim / GM:On on Broom.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly also, like, halfway down, she realizes Sal was stashed in her pack for a little bit, just hiding out. So she pulls him out and lets him walk beside everyone on the top, just on the floor. So
Tim / GM:As he's walking, he looks up at you, Holly, and says, what became of Joe?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, well, we ended up sending him away, locking him up behind bars.
Tim / GM:Yes. I had my suspicions that he might have been a, criminal of sorts.
Hannah / Eryn:Your suspicions,
Tim / GM:Well, I don't exactly know all of your laws and policies, but he was in it for himself, wasn't he?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I suppose so. Well, actually, I don't suppose so. We learned that he was trying to, in his own way, do the right thing.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Tibeo, I feel like this is a moral gray area that you could shed more light on.
Speaker 3:He was going about it all wrong, but he is right that Moja, also whatever, needs to be dealt with.
Tim / GM:Interesting philosophy. Are you a bad person if you do the right thing the wrong way?
Speaker 3:Not a bad person, but not necessarily a good person either.
Tim / GM:So complicated. So glad on my cat.
Speaker 3:I'm so lovey.
Tim / GM:And then the whole room starts shaking.
Tara / Journey:Yeah. I was gonna do an investigation. Oh, sorry.
Tim / GM:It's not a trap. It's an earthquake.
Tara / Journey:Oh, great.
Tim / GM:The stones above you immediately come loose, and it's bludgeon damaged immediately.
Speaker 4:Telekinesis.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Uli, burns her telekinesis holding up some of those rocks, but you see a lot of that loose what?
Speaker 4:I also surge. Sorry. Can you tell me what you're doing off
Tim / GM:the ground? Before I say another word, you need to know where that goes.
Speaker 4:So useful. Each creature within 30 feet of you becomes invisible for the next minute.
Tara / Journey:Is that all of us?
Speaker 4:Yes. I don't know if I also become invisible. But
Tara / Journey:are we creatures?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, yeah. We creatures.
Speaker 4:Is that bad?
Tim / GM:It's just different. Alright.
Speaker 4:No. I I'm saying that.
Tim / GM:As if this wasn't confusing and difficult enough Mhmm. You all turn invisible and immediately lose track of each other.
Speaker 4:The What's that? I is everyone here?
Speaker 8:Where did
Speaker 4:it go? I'm so sorry. I can you all hear hear me?
Tim / GM:I'm sorry to cut you off, but there literally is no time to talk in this situation. I need everybody to roll a d twenty and tell me where you land on that. Flat d 20, no bonus.
Speaker 4:Everyone?
Tim / GM:Everyone.
Thomas / Guy:19. My sister.
Speaker 4:16.
Speaker 7:15.
Tara / Journey:34. Alright.
Tim / GM:That is the separation. Tibeo and Holly, you are separated by loose silt that pours into this room and cuts off the group from each other. Holly and Tibeo are now in this, 8 foot by 10 foot pocket of low oxygen that is rapidly closing off. The rest of you still have rocks pelting overhead. Uli, the cave in is becoming too much to hold up with telekinesis.
Hannah / Eryn:Fuck. Where did Emery fall?
Tim / GM:Emery is on your side with a natural one.
Hannah / Eryn:Where did Sal fall?
Tim / GM:Your side. He'll stay with you. Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Are we all here? Are we okay?
Speaker 4:I'm here. Oh, fuck.
Thomas / Guy:TBS ends far
Speaker 4:away. Alright. Snack?
Speaker 9:Yeah. These rocks hurt. I don't like this place.
Speaker 4:I don't like this place either.
Thomas / Guy:Are you behind this big pile, Holly?
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. Guys. Can you hear me?
Speaker 4:I can't hold up anymore.
Thomas / Guy:We should make a break for it. Holly, can you portal out or something?
Speaker 4:I guess we run back and hope for the best? Alright. Well, this is
Tim / GM:I I fly really fast. Snack. You with your insane fly speed are able to, like, Aladdin fly out of here as the whole place is collapsing around you. You explode back into the original chamber or close to it anyway. You can see the original, like, light up there.
Tim / GM:There's another cave in behind you separating you from your other party members. Potentially, you can't see them.
Tara / Journey:Right. Before before this all happened, because could we see ahead of ourselves in this hallway? Because we had a little bit of light.
Tim / GM:Yep. You couldn't see, like, the end of it, but it continued forward.
Tara / Journey:Tilde Holly.
Tim / GM:Can you
Speaker 3:get out of here on your own?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I think so.
Speaker 3:Just go. If you cannot if you cannot take me with you, just go.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay.
Speaker 3:Go ahead.
Speaker 4:What about Emery? Is he I think he does. Him if you can.
Tim / GM:Emery's not responding.
Speaker 9:Crap.
Tara / Journey:Can we feel around?
Hannah / Eryn:Are you Give me a send
Tim / GM:an investigation check.
Speaker 4:Find Emery.
Tim / GM:Sal finds you, Holly.
Speaker 4:Okay. Can you find Emery? Help us.
Tara / Journey:Investigation would be 24.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You find him right away. You can feel him. He must have been bludgeoned by something. He's, like, breathing, like laying down on the ground.
Tara / Journey:I would like to use some of my bones to encapsulate Emery. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:Are you
Tim / GM:gonna be inside that, too?
Tara / Journey:So, yeah, I'm gonna encapsulate me and Emery and use the bones to try and start crawling out of this mess.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:I was just gonna freak out. And I was just gonna freak out. No. I I wanted it to be kind of like a, god, I can't I can't believe I keep doing this shit. You're so stupid.
Speaker 4:And like, like, I'm the reason everything fucked up.
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm. Uli. Uli. No. What?
Thomas / Guy:It's not your fault. We can get out of this.
Speaker 4:Alright. We're stuck. And it's just it keeps coming down. And I don't know. I we weren't prepared for
Thomas / Guy:It's alright. Do you have your tankard? I do.
Speaker 4:I, like, fumble for it. Bert, you're gonna you're gonna die here with me, and it's my fault.
Thomas / Guy:No. It's not your fault.
Tim / GM:And then I
Thomas / Guy:You huff on that tankard.
Speaker 9:I'll try to figure out a way out.
Speaker 4:Just start hyperventilating into it.
Tim / GM:Bert, as soon as you say try to, like, console her, the what the direction you're looking, you see a boulder 4 times the size of Uly just, like, close off the way.
Thomas / Guy:Toward the entrance?
Tim / GM:The way you came. Yeah. And it, like, it would have killed Uli if it had moved maybe, like, 12 inches.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. So,
Speaker 4:Bert and I separated now? No. Okay.
Tara / Journey:Tibio is gonna cast see invisibility.
Speaker 4:Oh my god. I mean
Tara / Journey:So that he can see his friends. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And
Tara / Journey:then Before
Speaker 9:they die.
Tim / GM:As you cast that Tibeo, the timing is a little confusing. Right around the time that you cast See Invisibility, you also see this little blue circle open up right in front of you and you see another one in that same room. And now you can see Emery. He's sort of a he almost looks like a glossy outline of Emery that you can see through the invisibility now. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:But
Tim / GM:there's 2 little blue circles standing in front of both of you.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna look real close at that.
Tim / GM:Okay. When you look in to see it, like, when you get real close, it's about the
Speaker 4:size of
Tim / GM:a quarter. Okay. It's almost like you're looking through a peephole
Tara / Journey:into an idyllic garden. I grab Emery and I telepathy to Holly. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Holly, I think there is a way out. There has some sort of magic in this room. Try to look at it. If you cannot gonna touch the Okay.
Tara / Journey:One of the circles. Holly, to be able to gonna touch
Speaker 9:the Okay.
Tara / Journey:One of the circles.
Tim / GM:Holly, tibial is in this little pocket of bones with Emery, but you're on the outside of that. Mhmm. What are you
Hannah / Eryn:doing? Holly hears Tibio saying that to her and she will, be like, oh, yeah. The weave. And she like was in panic, so I didn't really like even think about it. And so, she like eyes glaze over and she looks for the weave in this room, and she just, like, doesn't even know what to Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Like, look for really, but she's trying to see what what's going on.
Tim / GM:So when you open your eyes to the weave, you see this bright line shoot towards you like it's the trail of an arrow, and then it stops right in front of you and then opens up into this little blue circle, but you can see this vortex leading off to the northeast. You also see another one of those arrows like streak across the sky and land some few 100 feet behind you.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly touches it
Speaker 4:Okay. With one finger.
Tim / GM:Snack. You have, left sight of all of your friends. You can see an open path to go back to the main chamber. Where you are, the cave in is no longer a problem. The rumbling is less severe here, and there's no sand filling in.
Tim / GM:What do you do?
Speaker 7:So it's just sand in front of me where I came from?
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 9:Just a pile of it? Yep.
Speaker 7:I just breathe fire on the sand.
Tara / Journey:Windows.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. There is now a wild it almost looks like burnt sugar, like sheen of glass, like molten sand that is preventing your passage in a whole new way. I've run over to
Speaker 7:it at night.
Tara / Journey:Prettier.
Speaker 7:I do taste it because it looks kinda like sugar.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It's not, though. It it actually cuts your tongue.
Speaker 7:I scratch at it with my claws and
Tim / GM:It breaks away from that. It's pretty weak.
Speaker 7:Through the through the telepathy, but also out loud.
Speaker 9:What am I supposed to do?
Tim / GM:Uli and Bert can hear that.
Speaker 4:Snack. Snack.
Thomas / Guy:Snack. Did you make it out?
Speaker 9:Yes. This is me. Snack.
Speaker 4:Oh my god. He's alive.
Thomas / Guy:Yes. Did you make it out? Where are you?
Speaker 9:I'm back from where we were before.
Thomas / Guy:Are are you cut off from us?
Speaker 9:It appears to be that way. Yes.
Thomas / Guy:By what? The boulder or the sand?
Speaker 9:The the sand stuff. Yes. Are are you well, Bert, Uli?
Speaker 4:God, I think there's a lot more better. Yeah. Well, I we don't have time to talk.
Speaker 9:Okay. Well
Speaker 4:Can you get us out or no?
Speaker 9:I'm trying.
Speaker 7:I'll just start scratching at the sand.
Tim / GM:Snack. As you're scratching at the sand and the glass and kind of pulling it away, it just keeps filling in in front of you, and it seems like hours of work is gonna get you nowhere. At the same time, a beautiful, shiny blue circle opens up right in front of you, illuminating this room that you're in.
Speaker 9:I should've thought it was a blessed.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Tara / Journey:Great.
Tim / GM:Noted. Noted. Interesting. Okay. On the other side of the circle, you see darkness, and then you shoot an Eldritch blast into it, and you see, like, a flash of bright purple, and you see, like, a beautiful jacket.
Speaker 9:Farewell, Uli and Bert. Hopefully, I will see you again someday. I'd jump into the spot.
Thomas / Guy:The heck does that mean?
Speaker 4:Supposed to get us out.
Tim / GM:Alright. No response from Snack on that. Bert and Uli, it is down to you.
Speaker 4:Fuck. Did he just die?
Thomas / Guy:He who knows? Okay. Billy.
Tim / GM:Nobody else is responding to your telepathy.
Speaker 3:Bert, I think
Speaker 4:he killed them all.
Thomas / Guy:Now here's what we're gonna do. You're going to push that boulder straight through that pile
Speaker 4:Dave patch on.
Thomas / Guy:I'm gonna give it a little tap with this hammer I found.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:And then you're gonna push as hard as you can, and the momentum will push through the sand.
Hannah / Eryn:And then a blue arrow will appear and then it'll go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
Speaker 9:ding. We're
Speaker 4:gonna shoot. Awesome.
Thomas / Guy:Alrighty. You ready? Yeah.
Tim / GM:Bert makes a little impact with his mallet and Bert, this boulder that is 4 times the size of Uli just starts rolling down the room.
Speaker 7:Oh.
Tim / GM:And then comes to a halt.
Thomas / Guy:Get an Uli.
Speaker 4:Do you need me to I'll just, like, flick it with my finger.
Tim / GM:Uli, by the time you get to it, it's already too heavy. Burnt, you realize that you have you have to play this like croquet.
Speaker 4:Bert, what the fuck? You broke my finger.
Tim / GM:For the listeners out there, to clarify, Bert is using the gravity hammer to lighten the boulder as he hits it. However, the lightning effect of the gravity hammer lasts for about a quarter of a second.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Do you time it better? While this work?
Speaker 4:What if you push the boulder?
Thomas / Guy:What are you doing?
Tim / GM:I am enjoying
Speaker 4:watching this happen.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. Well, I'll give it a big wind up then.
Tim / GM:Okay. Just make an attack roll. Yeah. I'm just curious if you crit this thing.
Speaker 3:15.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. My strength modifier, that's a 15. Alright. Strength modifier, that's a 15. Alright.
Tim / GM:It's a solid hit. Uli, this is a impressive feat of strength. Bert hits this thing, and it immediately, slides in the dirt towards this pile of sand and then rolls kind of at the end of its trajectory, and it firmly lodges itself, into the sand. On its way, you could see it, like, breaking off pieces of the cave and, like, scraping against bricks and smashing them. You can tell this thing is heavy, but it's not enough to get through the sand.
Tim / GM:It just stops.
Thomas / Guy:No. I'm out of ideas.
Tim / GM:The room explodes with dust as part of the ceiling caves in again.
Speaker 4:Okay. So we need just, I grab Bert and I cast Banishment at a 6th level.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:So that we both just go into a different realm.
Tara / Journey:Oh god.
Speaker 3:For the
Speaker 4:healing, no doubt. Thing.
Thomas / Guy:Oh. And you've done it with, Tibio before? Yeah.
Speaker 4:So where are we?
Thomas / Guy:A harmless demiplane.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. So it's just like a completely white room with no features?
Tim / GM:Yes. That is the harmless demiplane.
Thomas / Guy:Uly, did we die?
Speaker 4:I sure hope not.
Thomas / Guy:You can let go of me now.
Speaker 4:Oh, sorry. And I, like, unhug him.
Tim / GM:I think it's canonical also that in the harmless demiplane, there is a high top with 2 glasses of water.
Tara / Journey:Sure. Sure.
Thomas / Guy:I am a little parched.
Tara / Journey:I was just playing this, like, ting ting ting ting ting ting ting
Speaker 3:ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting.
Tim / GM:Little also
Speaker 4:no. So, we only have a minute here, but I thought we could think because I couldn't think with, you know, rocks falling
Thomas / Guy:at it. Things were getting a little little heavy. No pun intended.
Speaker 3:You can't, like
Thomas / Guy:No. I can't I can't undo this. I don't know any teleports or anything either.
Tim / GM:You guys notice at this point after using banishment, your telepathy is broken even between each other now. Great. Got about 30 seconds left.
Speaker 4:I have dimension door, but there's no guarantee I could dimension door us.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, we could get out to where Snack was
Speaker 3:Yeah. And
Thomas / Guy:we don't know what happened to Snack.
Speaker 4:It's got I can do it, like, pretty far.
Thomas / Guy:That might be our best bet.
Speaker 4:So just, like, lock and load it.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. And hope that Holly and Tibio and Emery found a way out themselves.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You appear in a dusty cave.
Speaker 4:Cool. Okay. Hold on tight. And then I dimension doors back.
Thomas / Guy:Back. Back.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You're out into a much clearer
Thomas / Guy:Is Is our telepathy still off now that we're back? Correct. Interesting. Okay.
Speaker 4:That fucking sucked, and I never wanna go in a cave again.
Tim / GM:Uli disappears. Bert, when Uli disappears, you catch just the last flicker of a blue ring closing. And then you see another one open right in front of you.
Thomas / Guy:Well, hello?
Tim / GM:This is not the first time you've seen this, Bert. This is a temporary summons. The very same kind your parents use when they want you to visit.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, Why would they do this now?
Tim / GM:You see, the portal meant for you is beginning to close.
Thomas / Guy:Well, it's a way out of here,
Tim / GM:I guess. Alright. Bert, you, unfortunately, are dead.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I'll say. What?
Tim / GM:It's immediately obvious to you that you're in the look back on your life phase of the afterlife because you're looking at your childhood wardrobe, and you're imagining it's probably full of your old school uniforms.
Thomas / Guy:Yep.
Tim / GM:Your old bed is in this room. It's a a large elaborate frame that always felt empty to you. The room is full of all your, like, old familiar favorite things. Some of your old games are there, ball cup.
Tara / Journey:Sure. Classic ball cup. Ball?
Thomas / Guy:No. It's good as ball cup, but it's so good.
Tim / GM:Action citizen, action citizen super.
Thomas / Guy:Action citizen.
Tim / GM:You still got your participation trophies for kicksport and tri ball. There's an uneven picture frame made of sticks that you made for your parents, but they put in your room.
Hannah / Eryn:That's torture.
Tara / Journey:That's cruel.
Tim / GM:But there's also something very unfamiliar. This room is completely different. It's not the one that you grew up in. And as you're staring at this wardrobe, all of a sudden, breaking into visibility, you see Holly.
Thomas / Guy:Everything's just like I remember it. There's weird stuff, and Holly's here, and Holly's here. Yes. What are you doing in my afterlife?
Speaker 4:What? Am I dead?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, I thought I was dead.
Speaker 4:Why am
Hannah / Eryn:I in a teenage boy's room? And Holly looks around with disgust.
Thomas / Guy:Don't don't look at me.
Tim / GM:Holly, give me a would Holly be keenly interested in Bert's childhood?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is just thinking about how much jizz is on that bed, and she is disgusted.
Tim / GM:Give me a give me a perception check.
Thomas / Guy:I'm gonna roll a d 100.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:For how many times?
Thomas / Guy:90.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. Oh my god.
Speaker 7:It's impacting air quality. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:There's gotta be, like, a magical kaleidoscope setting for UV right now.
Speaker 7:Yeah. Do I
Thomas / Guy:do I yeah.
Tara / Journey:Oh, no.
Speaker 4:This is
Hannah / Eryn:my worst nightmare.
Thomas / Guy:I don't love it either, Holly.
Tim / GM:Holly, the only thing you really catch on to looking around the room is that this doesn't really scream Engelbert.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That would be a really hard room to sleep in, I think. Yeah. The room the room screams.
Speaker 9:Screams your name, all of
Speaker 4:a sudden.
Speaker 8:Good night,
Speaker 4:Good night, room. Please, please
Tara / Journey:stop. Oh my goodness. I'm sorry.
Tim / GM:Suffice to say this room does not really remind you of Bert. It does not scream Engelbert.
Thomas / Guy:I mean, while I'm here, I'd like to do a history check to see if I can pick up on some of the things that are
Tim / GM:different. Okay.
Speaker 4:I
Thomas / Guy:rolled a 2, so that's a 14.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Can we talk about those bonuses
Speaker 4:for a second? How the fuck? Goddamn. How do you have a plus 12?
Tim / GM:The first thing you notice, Bert, is the color of the room is different, but that's easy. It's now like a sage green, whereas you had grown up with, like, a sort of navy pewter blue. The biggest difference is when you look out the window and you see the, mountainous countryside of Vindorn. But, closer in, you see a lush green grass and a blossoming beautiful garden far out down the hill.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Holly, I've got some good news and bad news.
Hannah / Eryn:What could be worse than this?
Thomas / Guy:Well, the good news is
Tim / GM:Bert. So sorry, old chap. Your mother insisted on letting her friend from the hunting club perform the summoning.
Thomas / Guy:Dad, I was just about to do one of my patented good news bad news.
Tim / GM:Oh, don't let me interrupt. Please go ahead, son.
Thomas / Guy:I was gonna say the good news is that our travel to Findorin has been cut short.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Tim / GM:That is good news.
Thomas / Guy:The bad news is we're already in Vindorin.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And where are
Hannah / Eryn:the rest of her friends?
Tim / GM:Very good, Bert. My goodness. Did you hear that? He knows exactly where he is. What a smart boy, and he pats you on the head.
Tim / GM:Thanks.
Thomas / Guy:I only rolled a 2. 2.
Speaker 4:Was he in this room the whole time, or is this the room talking to him?
Tim / GM:He just walked oh
Speaker 4:my god.
Tim / GM:This is Roger Wisherspoon stepping in through Burt's door. He, looks at Holly, and he just says, oh, dear. Can I get you some clean garments? The dance is going to start within the hour. I won't have you wearing something so plain.
Hannah / Eryn:Dance? And Holly looks down at herself, and she's covered in dust and debris from the cave. And she's like, oh oh my. I'm I'm terribly sorry. And Holly pressed the titrations her whole outfit, and she is sparkling pristine clean once again.
Tim / GM:He looks you up and down and he says, talented. I didn't get that right off the bat. You seemed very plain at first. Okay. Miss, what was your name?
Speaker 4:Me? Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's a little bit disoriented because she was just in and came about to die. Just FYI. Yep. I'm Holly Hyacinth.
Tim / GM:Very good. Holly, I'm afraid the theme is deep red today. We'll have you meet with Deville.
Hannah / Eryn:Donita Deville?
Speaker 4:I'm just kidding.
Hannah / Eryn:Would Holly know this designer?
Tim / GM:Fair to say. Yeah. He says, Danita DeVille. Yes. How did you know?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, all designers tend to know one another. It's a small world here in this continent that we live in.
Tim / GM:Well, I'm sure she got a fresh wardrobe and maybe a bit of a trim ready for you. Why don't you see to it?
Hannah / Eryn:I will meet her. And Holly, like, squints her eyes, and she's like, show me the way.
Tim / GM:He gestures to the, like, open door. And once you step out into the hallway, a, a similarly, pink haired with a shock of white stylist is standing out there, and she says, hello. I'm Danita Deville. Nice to meet you.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly Hyacinth. The pleasure's mine.
Tim / GM:Holly Hyacinth. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Hannah / Eryn:I heard you're the
Tim / GM:Oh, you've heard of me?
Hannah / Eryn:Town house designer for this townhouse.
Tim / GM:If you mean by this house, you mean to say all of Vindarren, then yes.
Hannah / Eryn:No. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you could have done better in the teenage boys' room.
Tim / GM:Oh, dear. And she kind of, like, picks up the shock of white on your hair and says, let's see if we can brighten that up, maybe do something about all of this.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, like, turns her head away and pulls her hair away from the from Donita's touch.
Tim / GM:She gives you this, like, fake nice and kind of like drapes her hands on your shoulders and says, oh, don't be like that. We'll have you looking we'll have you looking okay in no time.
Tara / Journey:This bitch.
Tim / GM:And, she walks down the hall with you a little bit. Bert, back to you in that room.
Thomas / Guy:Is is Holly okay? What's what's going on?
Tim / GM:Bert, don't be so suspicious.
Thomas / Guy:Well, I mean, you know, I'm normally not grateful for one of your summons, but we're actually all in a bit of a pickle. So
Tim / GM:Well, perfect then. Happy to help.
Thomas / Guy:Are the others here too?
Tim / GM:They should be. I think we got everyone.
Thomas / Guy:There was a mostly nude guy with a big sword. Did you get one of those?
Tim / GM:Hey. Here's the problem. Your mother had her friend do the summoning and, well, they've been drinking all afternoon and It was a bit sloppy, I'm afraid.
Thomas / Guy:Let me let me see them. Take me to them.
Tim / GM:I am sure they're all here, and he looks out the window somewhere.
Thomas / Guy:Somewhere? Not in this house?
Tim / GM:I Bert, I'm sorry I have to cut to the chase. Sit down, boy. I have something to ask of you.
Thomas / Guy:Fine.
Tim / GM:Do you remember those shiny green things? They were like clear, like glass.
Thomas / Guy:The emeralds. Your phalactories. Yeah.
Tim / GM:You know that word, emeralds? Yes. Very good. Bert, these are very important to mommy and daddy. Do you understand that?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. They contain your soul essence.
Tim / GM:Very good. Do you Bert, did you have time to seek these out? It's it's important that we get them back.
Thomas / Guy:I understand it's important, but we had our own important things to do. It was on our agenda, but we didn't get around to it.
Tim / GM:I should have spoken up. I knew we were making a mistake.
Thomas / Guy:A mistake?
Tim / GM:Well, it was important that we got those emeralds, and it shouldn't have been enough just to ask you.
Thomas / Guy:Well, I I know where one of them is, and I have a reasonable hunch on the other one.
Tim / GM:Okay. He takes out a pocket watch and says, we've got maybe an hour. See what you can do. He's about to leave the room, and then he turns around again and he says, have you had time to consider our offer, by the way?
Thomas / Guy:I've had lots of time, but I didn't need any. The answer's still no.
Tim / GM:Bert, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need to really think on this. Do you understand? And you see him kind of, like, reaching around his waist, and he grabs a key ring. And he says, I want you to be really sure that you're making the right decision for forever. He walks to your door, and he begins to close it.
Thomas / Guy:But he's locking the door?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Thomas / Guy:I, so I'm sitting on the bed
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:And I grab the skateboard that's under the bed and Okay. Try to scoot it into the open door before it closes. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Give me a give me a slight of hand check.
Speaker 7:Skateboarding. Does Bert still have proficiency in skateboards?
Tim / GM:I would say your proficiency proficiency in skateboards has worn off over time.
Thomas / Guy:What if I used channel divinity to become proficient at skateboarding?
Tim / GM:You already used your channel divinity for the day.
Thomas / Guy:I get 2. Right?
Tim / GM:Oh, do you?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I think so. Okay.
Tim / GM:There you go.
Thomas / Guy:This seems worth it.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Sure.
Tara / Journey:Totally.
Thomas / Guy:So, it's a it's a 12.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You, you think back to your days on the half pipe Mhmm. And and Brad. Trying to ollie for years.
Tim / GM:Your skateboard, goes right into the kind of, like, crux of the door and prevents it from actually latching as it closes, and your father does not notice as he walks away. Alright. Tibio.
Speaker 3:Oui.
Tim / GM:You touched that portal, and you went from the shaky, sandy, scary place to a dark shed.
Tara / Journey:And I got Emery on my arm.
Tim / GM:You don't? No. You don't know where Emery is?
Speaker 8:No.
Tim / GM:You are in what looks to be a garden shed. There are extra pots and loose dirt in a wheelbarrow. There's rakes and clippers hung up on the wall, and it's earthy and musty in here. And there's a little round window near the peak of this shed. It's like letting some daylight in.
Tim / GM:But it's all very, like, neat and new looking.
Tara / Journey:Do I have my bones?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Tara / Journey:Can I use my bone dog as kind of a familiar? Sure. Tibio is gonna summon his bone dog, Patello, and send him to peek around the shed a little bit, to, like, peek out to
Hannah / Eryn:see if there's anybody there.
Tim / GM:Right. It can get its nose kind of, like, in the crack of the door a little bit, but it can't get out because you are locked in.
Tara / Journey:Okay. And it it can't see out at all? There's no, like, crack that it can
Speaker 3:see out of?
Tim / GM:I mean, there is a crack in the, like, floor, but you'd be just as well served looking under that crack.
Tara / Journey:Okay. I'm gonna use my spine cloak to try and jimmy the lock.
Tim / GM:Okay. You approach the door, and you can see, it's like 2, it's like a double doors wooden double doors that close in together, like barn doors kinda thing.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Tim / GM:Looking through that center crack, you can see a padlock on the outside.
Tara / Journey:Okay. So that's not gonna happen. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna I wanna investigate the shed.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:19.
Tim / GM:Okay. Like I said, everything in here is quite new and in good repair. It would feel a little bad to bust out of here, but the, while the padlock looks substantial, the little metal latch looks like it would bust right off if you pushed on the door.
Tara / Journey:Okay. Yeah. I'm just gonna bust on through.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna, like, use my shoulder and really lean to it. I don't have a lot of, like, gusto when it comes to, like, busting through things or doing crimes. Yeah. So Tibio is just kinda gonna try and do the least amount of damage that he can
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Given the circumstances, but he definitely wants out of that shed.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 9:Give me
Tim / GM:a strength check.
Tara / Journey:That's a 3.
Tim / GM:Wow. Okay. You give it a good heave, and you just hear the lock like a rattle against itself, and you hear the wood strain a little bit, but nothing on top of that. When you kind of recover from that attempt, you hear Tibio.
Speaker 3:Hello?
Tim / GM:Your father is calling to you from outside.
Speaker 3:Papa? Where are you? How are you here? Can you let me out?
Tara / Journey:And I'm gonna knock on the door a bunch.
Tim / GM:No answer from outside.
Speaker 8:What on earth
Tara / Journey:is going on? Hello? And pound on the door a bunch.
Tim / GM:You hear? Baby, help us.
Speaker 3:Mama? Where are you?
Tim / GM:It's plain as day as if they're on the other side of this door. They're calling out to you.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna try and bust open the door again.
Tim / GM:Okay. Take advantage.
Tara / Journey:Natural 20. Hey.
Tim / GM:It seems that's what it took. The padlock is it melts. You, bust the door open and, hear the clinking of the padlock as it falls against the ground. You step out into these well kept grounds on a beautiful summer day. It's quiet and peaceful, and there's birds singing, but it's dead quiet out here.
Tara / Journey:Do I see anyone around?
Tim / GM:Nobody. You see a small stone fountain with trickling water or tall trees and a huge estate up the hill in the distance with this big, like, terraced pavilion and then this giant, like, glass walled room.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna start heading up to the place that looks like it might have people in it.
Tim / GM:You're walking along this, like, cobblestone pathway, and you see all of this, like, lush vegetation around you. And it just looks like the most kind of, like, elegant place you've been to in a long time. There's these arches overhead just, like, punctuating the area, sending little shadows over you. And then you near this massive archway that leads into this garden, and you see dozens of beautiful women in dark red dresses that are all walking the opposite way to you. There's, like, 30 of them.
Tim / GM:A lot of them, like, smile at you. Some of them nod as they pass,
Speaker 9:but none of
Speaker 3:them speak to you. Hello? Can you can you hear me?
Tim / GM:A few of them kind of, like, turn, and then there's a small ripple of women that kind of, like, stop for, like, one second and just kind of, like, give you a deep nod, but none of them talk to you.
Speaker 3:Some good
Tara / Journey:old MPUCs on the road. Tibio is going to try and get a feel for any magic in the area, curses, or anything like that. K. Do I do, like, an arcana?
Tim / GM:Yeah. We'll call it arcana.
Tara / Journey:Natural 20 again.
Speaker 4:Wow. Hey. Oh, Jesus.
Tim / GM:I will say this. You reach out with your necromantic energy to try to feel something around you, and you see your father. He is moving backwards down a hedge maze as he disappears, but he is reaching for you.
Tara / Journey:I chase him.
Tim / GM:Uli. Yes. You are in the middle of a ring of rose bushes lying on your back. The rose bushes are, like, 6 feet tall, completely covering you.
Speaker 4:I'm, like, in bushes?
Tim / GM:No. You're actually in a little grass clearing with, like, a lamppost, but, like, the bushes surround you completely like a doughnut.
Speaker 4:Where the hell am I?
Tim / GM:You can hear people moving around, this area. It seems to be some kind of garden, and you can hear all these, like, hushed whispers as people pass by in little pairs.
Speaker 4:I sit up.
Tim / GM:Okay. You hear some people passing by, and someone says, come with me. I know a little spot we can run away to. And then those voices kind of like fade away. And then you hear another one saying, I'm not saying I don't wanna be here.
Tim / GM:I just I'd rather be drinking wine in my own bath. Mood. And that one kinda fades when you hear, How long until the dance starts? I wanna get something to eat, but I don't wanna be too full. You know?
Tim / GM:A dance?
Speaker 4:Can I peer out like
Tim / GM:You try to, and and the rose bushes, like, cut your fingers immediately? Ow. But you can see people kind of moving about out there.
Speaker 4:I just wanna, like
Thomas / Guy:Blade Ward.
Speaker 4:Oh my god. Thorn Ward.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Wait. I do have blade Ward. I'm gonna do that. Okay. Just, you know Yeah.
Speaker 4:But I'm gonna, like, sneakily peer at people. I wanna see what everyone looks like.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You see a lot of, human folk, walking around here. The pair that's passing nearest you right now looks like young students. One of them says, oh my god.
Tim / GM:Did you see that? Are we in a children's tale? And you hear, a woman next to her say, there's a literal actual Minotaur in the hedges. Dear lord, what kind of gathering is this?
Speaker 3:As
Speaker 4:soon as I hear minotaur
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:My eyes go hazy, and I look for the ring.
Tim / GM:It's a huge spot right in front of me.
Speaker 4:Jesus. Okay. I, I burst out of the rose bushes.
Tim / GM:Kind of right before you do that, you hear this, hi there. And you hear you hear You hear, oh, no. I I'm I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:Dave. Dave.
Tim / GM:Who?
Speaker 4:Dave.
Tim / GM:Uly.
Speaker 4:Why are you here? Why? Why am I here?
Tim / GM:You're here. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I go bursting out of a rose bush right into his arms.
Tim / GM:He he he's like, I like hugging you, like, embracing you, and he, like, leans into it right away where he can, like, hold you tighter. And he's like, hey.
Speaker 4:Hey. No. I'm sorry. I tripped.
Tim / GM:Oh, and he, like, backs off. Yeah. Holds his arms up like a criminal.
Speaker 4:Where are we? What?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I don't know why you're here, but well, listen. There's a lot I gotta tell you about, you know, like, my family.
Speaker 4:Okay. Can we walk and talk maybe?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I don't know where my friends are.
Tim / GM:Oh, he kinda, like, looks around.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So there was, like, a cave in. It was kinda my fault. But,
Tim / GM:He looks for a cave.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It's not here. Clearly, there's but I woke up in the rose bushes, and I I was holding on to Bert, And then I wasn't.
Tim / GM:Oh, you and Bert,
Speaker 4:No. No. I mean, we're just friends.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 4:But, yeah, I don't know where I mean, this is kind of a nice place. But
Tim / GM:Yeah. Here. I already kinda went through, but let's go again. And he kind of, like, takes you through the, like, this little circle garden area, and he starts showing you these little flowers. He shows you this first one that's like this white orchid looking thing, but he touches it.
Tim / GM:And where he touches down, the orchid turns blue. And he says, man, it's actually just frost. It's called an ice orchid. These stay frosty all the time. Isn't it pretty?
Speaker 4:I'm yeah. It's cool.
Tim / GM:He, flicks one of the petals really hard, and it shatters. And he goes, you wanna try?
Speaker 4:Do I? I just like Karate chopping. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Karate chopping flowers.
Tim / GM:He says, anyway, I know I've never brought it up, but my parents are actually, well, they're loaded.
Speaker 4:You're rich.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Sort of. They're they own a lot of property.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Tim / GM:My family happens to own this big mine, and every now and then, people wanna buy it, and I have to answer for it if I'm the closest family member. It's not for sale. I gotta turn them down, whoever this is.
Speaker 4:Where, where are we?
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah. I didn't even check. And he, like, reaches into his pocket and pulls out this, canvas letter and cracks open a wax seal, and he says, I mean, coming to barter, Wisherspoon? Isn't that your friend?
Speaker 4:Yeah. Is Bert trying to buy your mind?
Tim / GM:I hope not. I'd have to turn him down.
Speaker 4:He doesn't have that kind of money. So if it is, it's it's not a real offer. Sorry.
Tim / GM:Anyway, look at this one. It sheds its leaves every 5 minutes.
Speaker 4:Dave, thank you. This is very cool. Where are we?
Tim / GM:In a garden in the, he opens a letter and says Wisherspoon Estate, in Vindorn.
Speaker 4:We're in Vindorn.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I know, but it's not like we're actually here. I think the summons was only for 2 hours.
Speaker 4:2 hours. And then I go back to the cave in?
Tim / GM:Cave in? I mean, yeah. You go back to wherever you are from. But if you're going back to a cave in, Uli, that's
Speaker 4:Yeah. Not ideal.
Tim / GM:No. That's really not good. You can't I can't work. He puts his hands in his hair and he says, Uli, if you teleport back into solid earth you know, I've heard of this.
Speaker 4:Uh-huh. I'd be buried alive, I assume. Crushed to death, suffocate with dirt in my lungs.
Tim / GM:He shakes his head really hard and he goes, this flower, it's really gooey and its petals. It's got really gooey petals anyway. He reaches out and swipes them and he tastes it and he's like, it's actually really sweet and he like holds up gooey fingers to you and he goes, do you wanna taste it?
Speaker 4:No, Dave. I really just wanna find my friend.
Tim / GM:I know. I just don't wanna think about you being buried alone. I
Speaker 4:don't wanna
Thomas / Guy:think about
Speaker 4:it either. We I hand him the tankard.
Tim / GM:He he grabs
Speaker 4:it for Oh, yeah. Wait. Don't look at that.
Tim / GM:He, like, puts both of his hands in his hair and he just starts pacing. He's like,
Speaker 9:Uli, Uli, we're gonna die
Speaker 4:out here. No. No. I'm so sorry. Those were mine.
Speaker 4:Uli. They're not, shit. What do I do?
Speaker 9:Too much. Too much.
Speaker 4:I pull out some of Ben's ale.
Tim / GM:He he grabs it, and he finishes the rest of the cask.
Speaker 4:That might help.
Tim / GM:And then he sits down, and then you see Tibio walking towards the hedge maze decidedly marching inward.
Speaker 4:Oh, shit. There's Tibio.
Tim / GM:He doesn't even notice you. He's, like, bolting for it.
Speaker 4:Tib He
Tim / GM:just disappears into the hedge maze.
Speaker 4:Alright.
Speaker 9:I
Tara / Journey:hear a whisper.
Speaker 4:That's not probably good.
Tim / GM:He looks up at you with, like, teary eyes, and he says,
Speaker 9:is Timmyo gonna die too?
Speaker 4:I do. Honestly, I already thought he was. So Alright.
Tim / GM:It's Snack. Snack, you are looking at the most beautiful, elegant jacket you've ever seen. It's got a dark charcoal exterior with a purple velvet inner lining and gold trim. You want it?
Speaker 9:Glance around and see if anyone's looking at me.
Tim / GM:No one's looking at you because you're in a very small coat closet.
Speaker 9:I see. Well, I take this coat and I stuff it in the lamp really fast.
Tim / GM:As you take the coat, you notice it's also destroyed because an Eldritch blast had burned right through it. And, like, 16 of the other coats.
Speaker 7:I kick open the closet and grab the coat, carry it with me.
Tim / GM:Okay. You kick open the closet, and you see some 12, 13 people turn around and look at you and go,
Speaker 9:fix this cart for me, please.
Tim / GM:You have stumbled into a party of humans all smoking cigars and eating strange tiny foods off little plates.
Speaker 7:I throw the coat at whoever's closest to me. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It, hits a servant holding a platter, and they just go Right away, sir. And they walk away with it. Everyone's kind of, like, staring at you. Total silence in the room.
Tim / GM:You hear 1 person just, like.
Speaker 7:I squint at them very carefully.
Speaker 9:Why have you brought me here? For what purpose have you brought snack? You hear. Oh. Oh.
Speaker 9:Oh. Sorry. That was me.
Tim / GM:I've been drinking.
Speaker 9:I'm sorry. I would like some hot cocoa too then.
Tim / GM:I'm okay. She holds down her hand to you, and she says, my name is Priscilla Adamantium. I've summoned you here upon request of this one. And she points at somebody you've seen once before. It is Carole Wisherspoon, Bert's mother, the green eyed, the litch woman.
Speaker 9:Yes. Well, what services do you ask of Snack, the powerful dragon?
Tim / GM:Carol says, we only wish for you to attend our ball, snack. Do you know how to dance?
Speaker 9:Yes, of course.
Tim / GM:Very good. Then it should be no trouble for you at all. We should be starting within the hour. Please make yourself at home. Enjoy some bacon wrapped sausages.
Speaker 7:Alright. What is this room? Is there is, like, a fire going or anything like
Tim / GM:that? So it's like this circular library, like a little, you know, imagine leather couches, fireplace, like, books going 20 feet up. Are there windows? Yes. Lots of them.
Speaker 9:I I need to go, I need to go pee somewhere. Where can I do this?
Tim / GM:Oh, there's bathrooms on every floor.
Speaker 7:Oh, no. I look around.
Tim / GM:I'll have someone escort you.
Speaker 9:That's quite alright. I will find a spot
Speaker 7:myself. I leave the room.
Tim / GM:She looks at the rest of her party guests and goes,
Speaker 4:he's so funny.
Speaker 7:Yeah. When I get around the corner Yeah. And out of sight, I I will pee. Yep. But then I'm also going to stroke my mustache.
Speaker 7:Yeah. And then come back.
Thomas / Guy:On every floor.
Tara / Journey:I mean, farewell has arrived.
Speaker 7:You you
Tim / GM:get around the corner and pee in the corner. Yeah. And turn into farewell.
Speaker 7:Yes. Is there anything wooden that is handheld around?
Tim / GM:For sure. Yeah. Let's say you grab a there's a back scratcher on a desk.
Speaker 9:So I break the back scratcher Yep.
Speaker 7:In about 8 inches or so.
Tim / GM:K. Set
Speaker 7:it on fire. K. And I walk back into the room, have his farewell, Holding the flaming
Tim / GM:Burning stick. Yeah.
Speaker 7:And, oh, you all of you must be here for the ball.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Good chap. I don't believe we've met.
Speaker 9:What's your name? My name is Farewell.
Tim / GM:You can call me Eustace Clinkin.
Tara / Journey:Great. That's the best one.
Speaker 7:I see there's a fire in this room. Indeed. Very nice.
Tim / GM:There's a a a way too day drunk old lady sitting in front of the fire, and she goes,
Speaker 8:what a pretty fire.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay.
Tim / GM:Tell me, farewell. What is your venture? How did you make your money?
Speaker 7:Same way as every famous businessman.
Tim / GM:I No. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Speaker 7:Farewell flinches and looks around. Startled by this. I was selling shoes and then closed that business and then built a tower. Invested in a tower, it's going to have wings.
Tim / GM:Vincent came up the same way, didn't you, Vincent? You see a hand come up from in front of a couch and just point at you, and it says, shoes to towers.
Speaker 9:Nailed it,
Speaker 7:hey. Snack thinks to himself. Oh,
Tara / Journey:I'm not gonna make it,
Tim / GM:you guys. Someone else says, you should have invested in textiles. They were huge 10 years ago.
Speaker 7:They're too flammable.
Tim / GM:Well, that's true. And she kinda looks in with this new insight. The whole room starts to crowd in around snack, and they're just like, tell me, have you spent much time on the road? You seem well traveled.
Speaker 7:Yes. I've been all places through the fey realm. I went portal
Speaker 4:to the
Speaker 7:portal to the underworld, and we did business there.
Tim / GM:The underworld, I say. Oh.
Speaker 7:Yes. Yes. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:More people start to kind of crowd in around you. Somebody comes up to you and says, Matt, might I ask an adventurer such as yourself? It is not out of the question that you might have at one point encountered a dragon. Oh.
Speaker 4:That's what I
Tim / GM:bet he has.
Speaker 7:Yes. Quite troublesome buggers, aren't they? Those dragons. Yes. Almost killed 1, but I, honestly, I felt pity for the creature and decided
Speaker 9:not to kill it. So
Speaker 7:Yes. I mean, they do serve a purpose, burning peasants and all that. That fire is still going over there. Wow.
Speaker 8:Such a pretty fire.
Speaker 7:So where is this ball? And I look around and I look under the table.
Tim / GM:Can't belong now. Yes. And, you see row upon row of allegedly beautiful humans, walking in, and they're crossing past the library into the ballroom. A bunch of them kind of like look off in your direction, and a few of them kind of stop, and they're like, who's that handsome man? And then, they're just like, we have to be in here, but I want to be in there.
Tim / GM:Any minute now, the, dance itself should start. Tell me,
Speaker 7:have you, acquired a few incredible dances from across the world? I do have one up my sleeve, and then I hop on someone's shoulder.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. How do you remember these references?
Tim / GM:Alright. We'll cut from that.
Speaker 4:Oh my god.
Tim / GM:Holly, you are being sat down into a barber's chair, and, a drape is being thrown around your body. She says, alright. What'll it be?
Hannah / Eryn:What's happening exactly? I I'm just, they set a ball or something.
Tim / GM:Yes. It's a ball, of course. But we're having a special guest. Don't you know? No.
Tim / GM:Or I suppose you don't. The special guest is, of course, the, she gets, like, way too close, too friendly up to your ear and goes, the spirit shaman is going to be here.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay.
Tim / GM:The one who gave the wisher spoons their, you know.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, that spirit shaman.
Tim / GM:Anyway, everyone here has an open invitation to, well, to eternity. Consider yourself lucky. We're all going to live forever. And, she says, I'm just going to do what feels right, and she starts, like, snip, snip, snipping away.
Hannah / Eryn:Give me something that says death becomes her.
Tim / GM:Jesus, oh, takes off your, veil and begins cutting your hair. How do you wanna go a much shorter, or do you wanna kinda keep it the way it is?
Hannah / Eryn:Like, can she magically change the color?
Tim / GM:Yes. Everything is within her purview.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. I'm trying to think of what would be
Tim / GM:She can lengthen it if need be.
Thomas / Guy:It's an MMO barber.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. Nope. I got it. Okay. Holly wants a short chin length bob.
Hannah / Eryn:So it was kinda more shoulder length before, so she wants it, like, maybe even shorter than chin length, like mid cheek.
Speaker 8:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:And then she wants it styled, like, old Hollywood, like, kinda like waved, like, almost looks like it's wet, like, to her stuck to her head kind of.
Speaker 4:Sure. Finger
Hannah / Eryn:waves. Finger waves. She wants it completely jet black.
Tim / GM:Nice.
Hannah / Eryn:Cool. Like finger waved to her hair and, like, yeah, old Hollywood starlet. Yeah. Starlet. Like, a 19 twenties flapper starlet kind of that in my hair.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah.
Tim / GM:She's, like, finishing up, and she's, like, kind of, like, even just drying off your hair after leaning back into the little tub. And she says, okay. Well, don't hold it against me because it's your fault, really. But she shows you a mirror, and she says, I couldn't dye this part. And she shows you the white shock in your hair.
Hannah / Eryn:Sick. That's alright. It works.
Tim / GM:Not bad, though,
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Fair to passing, I would say.
Tim / GM:Alright. Go get yourself some immortality, miss, what'd you say, Haya something?
Hannah / Eryn:No. It doesn't matter. I already forgot your name
Tim / GM:too. She says, well, let's do something about that. She casts prestidigitation to create a business card and hands it to you, and it says, Danita Deville.
Hannah / Eryn:Danita. Holly puts it in her pocket for later.
Tim / GM:She says, the actual dance will be starting any minute. You can, go out to the mezzanine or get on the main floor if you wanna boogie down yourself.
Hannah / Eryn:Definitely. What outfit did you have planned?
Tim / GM:Well, the color palette's a little limited, but and she, opens this wardrobe, and it's just like red red red red red red all the way through, but, like, a 1,000 different styles.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. And you made all of these?
Tim / GM:Of course.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly goes up to the first dress she sees, and, she pulls it out of the rack and off the hanger, and she looks at it, holds it up in front of her up and down and she's like, yes. And she starts ripping, pieces of it apart and she grabs some pieces from another dress and then she, like, uses her weave thread to, like, magically basically, she's gonna make a whole new garment in, like, 5 minutes, but, like, just, like, with the weave thread and not trying to necessarily make it magical in a certain way, but that's the only thread she had on her. Basically, wants to make it the most fabulous dress anyone has ever lays laid eyes on, and it's magically enhanced to be glamorous. Right? Like, people are amazed when they see it.
Hannah / Eryn:Like so that's kinda what she's going for.
Tim / GM:Can you give me a, with Advantage, have we ever talked about your, like, crafting skill and, like, where that lands? I I'm sure it's intelligence. Let's do that. Let's add your intelligence and proficiency.
Speaker 4:She's just good at making the
Thomas / Guy:last time we did it was, like, Snacks bracer,
Tim / GM:maybe. Yeah.
Speaker 7:Which is a long time
Speaker 4:ago.
Hannah / Eryn:You said with advantage? Yep. 18.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. For the time you spent on it, this is, you know, considerably better than anything else she had in her wardrobe. And, you can see her, like, fuming after you put it together. And she's like, well, that's those are choices that you can make.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. Yes. That's what I thought, Danita. And then Holly pulls the business card out of her old clothes pocket, and she looks at it, and then she gives it a shake with prestigitation and changes the name to Holly Hyacinth, fashion designer
Speaker 7:Oh.
Hannah / Eryn:And hands it back to her. Holly Hyacinth, Tildry designer.
Tim / GM:She takes the card and just gives you a
Hannah / Eryn:and she struts out of the room. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You can, as soon as you strut out of the room, you see her dive for the pieces of her other dresses, and she's like, no.
Speaker 4:No. No. No. No.
Tim / GM:And I think we'll end it there for tonight.
Speaker 4:Oh, so funny.
Tim / GM:Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.
Thomas / Guy:I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert f f Wisherspoon.
Tara / Journey:I'm Tara, and I play Tibio Femur.
Speaker 7:I'm John. I play Snack the Cobalt.
Speaker 4:And I'm Maggie playing Uli.
Tim / GM:Hi. It's me, your genie. Thanks for listening to people being other people. If you want to help Master Snack and his servants, you could make my wish come true by following us on Instagram at pbop_podcast. That's p b o p underscore podcast.
Tim / GM:Thank you very much.