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A gargantuan rot-crustacean waits on the roof of a farm that shouldn't exist. Oren reach-heals from cover. Rahua cones light across the shingles. Tannhauser stacks mirror images and lines up one decisive electric strike. The creature drops. Picturn is still in there. The fight isn't actually over.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all righty everyone are you excited for another exciting episode of rot grind
welcome back everyone to another exciting episode of rot grind it's the season finale
yay we finally met it i would like uh just kind of uh it's a cool mouse that we did 30 episodes of
warhams fellas and then we did over 30 episodes of this how tired are we no not really well i'm still
ready to go this is this is adventure two of six buckle up buckaroos like we've there was i was
going through all the stuff and everything and uh like i had like make our big master patron post
that shows everyone like everyone we do like everything that we do on patreon and stuff
and i was like okay how many shows like you know i was looking at everything like we make a lot of
fucking content like a lot of shit man like oh my god but um it's um it's been a long road fellas
thanks for sticking with me after most of it i really appreciate it you guys are the best group
i've ever played with zorn we love you we love you zorn bring it in big bang you hear that rock goons
you're nothing you're done
who are you i played with zorn on rock ride i played with you okay i'm gonna i'm gonna jump really hard
on this trampoline and fly through my window don't tell me about trampolines right now jamie and i have
had to assemble two of them in the past week why do you need two trampolines i'm suffering better than
i am both two pairs of nieces ah but speaking of having horrible memories there's just no segue to
that like i have nothing to really go back for that one you try you're calling her dumb
like regardless regardless of um oh my god i lost my track i'm completely disjointed myself
welcome regardless back to another episode of rock run if you liked everything that we do here
patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration if you'd like to help keep the show going
because we got a whole new season planned for you a whole bunch of amazing stuff and we left last time
after a interesting cliffhanger but before that i want to introduce you to the amazing players who
have stuck with you all for what is it two three years so far of dealing with my ass
like christ just all the all the bullshit and everything else um first off i'd like to say
thank you for coming back odoroshi hi hello zoran uh and hello everybody i am odoroshi rider i am
playing vali the sylph swashbuckler and uh the box you opened it and i came um out of it
out of the box there's a reddit post for you next up is hulky crow that is me thank you so much for
having me for over 30 episodes now zoran honestly i i don't know how you managed to tolerate me that
long but all the same i will be playing the gunrasu cleric rahua today and i want you to know
that sometimes murder is okay and speaking of murder being okay we also have erendil
hi everybody uh it's my pleasure to be here of course uh primarily because i'm off my baldrick
meds today i'm playing as the evil other character that i have uh vectrix corlas and she is here
to do literally nothing that the party wants her to do except possibly kill something
god forbid women do anything god forbid something's up with my voice someone help me
war games or robots gosh you're never gonna let him live that down never of course next up we have
the ever revolutionary speaker d oh yeah allow me to give you dark greetings uh yes i am speaker d
and i am playing tan hauser our mechanical maniacal man of many manifestos and i'm very excited to be
here i'm very excited to kill god again and i am zoran the bear i am playing the level seven
strix druid oran uh your feathery fiend who who constantly badger the rest of the party and the
one who's going to be torturing us all today the one who's going to be throwing us through the ringer
and seeing how many of us potentially die today is our ever stalwart and ever amazing game master
thurston hillman hello hi it's me i look forward to tormenting you with our avataric deity of rot
dadamus um apologies in advance if i'm wired and or in a weird state i've been at a convention on
all weekend for paizo con and i literally finished my last panel for paizo con and rushed right here so
oh hey let's do it i'm gonna yeah rot dadamus let's let's get you drink that monster
crotch we're gonna start doing we should do a stream where you get all the like art assets of
all the monsters and npcs and stuff and just do smash or pass you can do that
all right no he's picked up creepy cabin which one do you rink it at
oh no i dig my hands i dig my hands in the dirt under your feet
haven't you seen monster house you absolutely can fuck the house
i'm i'm digging my hands into the dirt under your feet and hurling you into the sun
it's like i'm gonna take off your toenails and make you stand in a bath of alcohol
that's how much i hate this i didn't say that at all move on
uncultured swine you did not we're getting rid of this stuff
it's prawns all right thurston
sorry we're gonna smash your passing right yeah we're skipping next content next bitch streamer
what do you have for us today
uh well if you've come to this point i'm sorry like this is not the episode to start with wait
for the next one this is the episode where we start right in phase three of a boss battle
as our young happy-go-lucky halfling pictor and squelchfoot has now been uh consumed by the rot
and as they battle in what could be some alternate dimension example of the squelchfoot family farm
uh pictor has now shifted into the avatar of rot dadamus and um well
rot dadamus is going uh first in the initiative order so i'm just gonna uh
uh no i don't think he is no no it's okay you guys have all the time in the world to heal each
other up because victrix is right here and was the last person the last hit uh oh no he got the last
hit yeah she got like five gold and a little bit of experience fucking chaos hey you didn't deny it
that's your problem
that's your problem
rot dadamus's first action
could be its final action
no is to
move step i should say
to there it scuttles forward its immense bulk sort of looking out in various directions as this vast
rot blighted crustacean steps forward
and then it uses one action
to attack you victrix with its pincers
pinch her brain
i can't i get a tag of opportunity
no because it stepped
fuck but it will hit you man and that hit me on a four
yes it will also deal four points of damage or 15 points of damage to victrix
and then for its laxed action it will grab you
okay
it's doing the pinch
as it grabs you with its pincher claws
now as it does so
um
i'm uh just gonna put this thing here
um i need you to give me a will save please
uh wilbert's save
let me show you her true power
uh i did not make an intimidate chick so i cannot do terrifying resistance
all right
here we go
just throw tony spice on it
that'll get wicked
uh 30
okay cool
um
you are you are unaffected
as you feel as it crushes you with its pincer claw
um and you you start having visions of rot filling the sides of your eyes
everything getting black and gooey
but then it recedes um as this immense creature has stepped up to you
oran you are on top of the building looking down at this vast entity as it has moved forward
uh what are you doing
as she gets pinched she's just banging her hand on the claw and screaming
get your claw off of me now
that oran oran seems a bit panicked
he sees a giant crawdad used to all of them being in a big pot
boiling
eating them
boiling
sucking the meat out of the very carapaces
it looks at all the spells yet i see this victrix is currently having an issue
um i do believe i still have the reach spell
uh feat that might allow me to cast a heal over the victrix
as i'm delaying for time because we're mid-combat thing and i have to measure
i am going to be in range with the 60 fees if i spend one action uh to basically do reach spell
the fee that allows me to extend my spell up to 30 feet and um i'm going to cast a let's see
victors is at half health so i'm going to spend a third level spell slot to do so
and then at least she only is only at half health right now because she uh eight pick turns destructo disc in the last battle
but i'm going to heal and use my two action heal to pretty much do the 30 feet 30 feet one
we're extending to 60 with reach i spent an action to do that so it'll be all three of my actions
and boom basically 34 hp uh heading over to victrix
sweeter do you mind healing oh okay i can just click heal right
i got you yeah the gate master has to do it yeah and that will be the end of oran's turn i'll click
the in turn button so you have this like like green primal healing energy that rushes out
don't worry victrix vast crawdad i have you coils slightly ah don't get pinched fellas try to get
behind and its tail might be ineffective and he just kind of uh cast out heal on victrix there
rahua you're up okay so seeing what has just transpired and also in the aftermath of what
just happened uh rahua will let out a primal scream as his carapace cracks and inky black
tendrils seep out of him uh do you need me to make another terrifying noise for chap yes
yeah yeah as his carapace splits apart with inky black tendrils of nothingness seeping out
as he places his hands on his chest tearing at it and casts vital beacon at a heightened level
so i'm going to gain whenever i touch myself five d10 healing yeah now because that's it would be
three actions to be casting at uh three level or blah i'm no i'm dumb it's like it's two times
um am i still able to object interaction myself to proc that um okay so first of all it takes a
minute to cast it so you probably can't cast this in combat oh fuck i forgot about that yeah it's
more of an out of combat deal so he just makes he just makes a loud noise i just make a loud noise
i just i do a little scream rewind rewind rewind oh man i don't get casting yet unfortunate uh
that's not good so i'm just gonna heal myself instead we'll do all that but we're gonna heal
instead okay okay okay let me let me cast that are you gonna heal yourself are you gonna like do a
burst for three actions what's your uh i don't know if i can do a burst because that's gonna hit
rot datamus too and i don't have uh selective energy so that will be
rot datamus has not taken damage
that's fair yeah i can't overheal it so yeah fuck it uh 30 foot cone
rot cone i i don't i don't know what i'm fucking on today
30 feet of healing goodness yes 30 feet of healing goodness this will do nothing to rot datamus surely
you should be able to place down a thing see how he gets affected but
if you need help let me know yeah yeah you should get everyone in it um and then it's a fourth level
so you're going to get oh gosh i believe it's uh what does it 5d8 or 48 yeah
let's fucking let's spin the hill split i cannot help but notice this thing is larger than a large
creature correct he's big as hell it's what is the size four by four it is a four by four so it is
a uh gargantuan creature at the highest size oh oh excellent yes all right so now
question for you my friend so you're using this um and you're doing your um
um you're you're you're healing the font right correct okay cool all right so yeah that'll be 12
points so that'll be 12 back to uh 12 back to tan hazard one 12 back to
lane muh for your effect okay good job rahua i'm doing my best i know you are i love the heat
all the heels before rot datamus all right so at the end of year go uh i'll go over to
tan hauser then all right let's boil this buck uh i'm gonna start out uh being tactical actually okay
So I'm still hasted.
And that gives me how much extra feet of speed?
None.
It gives you an extra action.
What it does, you're able to strike or strike or stride or basically just move or just normal attack with hasted.
So you just get one free move, one free attack.
Can I just say real quick?
I just want to double check.
I believe you all.
Of course, it's Laughing Shadow that gives me extra speed.
So I need to check how much extra speed I'm having because we're in mid combat.
Yeah.
Um, Laughing Shadow gives me a five plus speed and I am armored because I'm a roboid.
Um, okay, great, great, great.
Uh, so with my 30 foot speed, I'm actually going to start out.
I'm not going to do any damage this turn.
I'm going to instead focus on positioning and defense.
Um, now does anyone want a defensive buff?
Or rather, I should ask Vali, would you prefer a defensive buff or do you think I should take it?
Um, I would say you take it.
I have a dodge that might help me at least a little bit.
At least maybe negating a crit.
All right, cool, cool.
So I'm going to come to here.
Then I'm going to come to here.
And then I'm going to cast on myself a little spell known as Mirror Image.
As my servos come alive and various different suggestions of my location.
Good spell.
Good spell.
Good teamwork.
Good, good, good spell.
Different concepts of Tanhauser just emerge out.
I have a bit for you, Speaker.
Give me a bit.
Give me a bit.
When you cast it, you could just make Tanhauser be like, there is I and team.
And then you go, pew.
And you have multiple of you.
United we stand.
Yeah, there you go.
All right.
And, uh, after humming the Internationale, I will end my turn.
Ha.
We are the USD.
Volley.
Volley.
Okay.
Tanhauser isn't quite flanking it yet, is he?
Not yet.
I'm not base to base.
I should have.
Ah, fuck.
Can I?
Can I?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I make sense.
So, you know, Crawl Dynamis has reached, I think at that size, the reach of 15 or so.
Woof.
If you're right here, you're base to base to him.
Okay.
Yeah, because he fills up the squares.
Yeah, I just want to create a.
A variety of different places.
So, if someone makes a lion throne, they'll flank him.
Yeah.
It's a crazy question.
So, technically, you are flanking him, though, because.
Has to go through the center.
Fuck.
Yep.
So, then if I were to go here, would I be flanking him?
Yes.
Okay.
In that case, no.
Good, good, good.
Okay.
Yeah, no matter where you went, I was just going to go in for a flank.
Either you or Victrix.
If that were the case, let me just real check.
If you don't mind, just check my movement.
Would I be flanking him here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It would be, yes.
It's the four squares in the middle that you measure through.
So.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's up to Thurston.
It's up to Thurston.
Yeah, Thurston.
You know what?
I already ended my turn.
I'm cool being here just to create more variety of flanking options.
All right.
Sorry.
Okay.
Continue.
No, you're good.
You're good.
You're good.
All right.
We need it.
We're going to get our ass beat.
Yeah.
All right, melee team.
Let's roll out.
Yeah.
I'm going to spend my move getting here.
So I'll be flanking with Vicky Tricks.
I'm going to go in for a feint to try and get some panache.
Uh, so it's my deception versus its, uh, its will.
Yes.
So 10 plus its will.
Yes, indeed.
Oh, that's bad.
That's bad.
Oh, I'm revealing you panache.
That is, that is not enough to, uh.
Is that a re-roll?
That's a two.
You have one hero point.
Oh, no.
I definitely need to save that for something, uh, something a little better.
So, unfortunately, I'm going to have to be panache, panache-less.
Um, yeah, I'm just going to give it a regular hit with the rapier.
Oh, and, um, I should point out that is a critical failure.
Oh, does that have, uh, an effect?
It makes you flat-footed against, uh, attacks by your target.
I'm going to re-roll it.
Okay.
I do not want to give this guy any extra chances to crit me, so, uh.
What are you doing over here, Bali?
I'm, I'm, I'm swashing, I'm buckling.
Oh, much better.
31.
That will, that will actually, uh, succeed.
So.
Yes.
Let me see if the button works.
Oh, please, button.
Very nice.
Okay.
Sweet.
Uh, in that case, um, I'm going to spend my last action to hit him with a finisher.
Absolutely.
Uh, bing bong.
Nice.
You'll hit.
Good hit.
Very nice.
That's a 34 you rolled, and you rolled a 31-year deception thing last time.
Yes, indeed.
Oh, yeah, for the podcast.
Sorry, podcast.
Sorry, podcast listeners.
Sorry, podcast people.
Odo hates you.
That's right.
All right, there we go.
And let's roll it up.
Oh, my God.
My panache damage is always so bad.
Okay.
You did 13 points.
Why, why did he take a, oh, wait, uh, I have mossy weapon, don't I?
Yes.
I enchanted everyone before the fight.
Yes, he did.
Yes.
And we're all in round three.
Yes.
Very good.
Very, very good.
You're doing great, Molly.
No, I clicked the wrong button.
Thanks.
Orange here is for you.
He has pom-poms.
Give me a V.
Can't wait for Rodatomus to do the Elden Ring crawdad laser spit.
God, please no.
All right.
All right.
And, uh, yep.
Off to Vic, I believe.
Uh, Vic is going to use her fucking...
And hit in turn.
Yeah.
She's going to use her, uh, glaive to try and pry...
Or pry...
Pry the, uh, the claw open.
Okay, so you're going to try to escape from the grapple.
Correct.
What am I rolling?
Uh, so this will be an athletics...
It's an escape test, so there's a couple different things you could use, but I'm guessing...
I'll do an athletics, because that's the strongest I got.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it'll be an athletics versus, um, athletics.
So, yeah.
Go!
That's a four on the die.
An 18.
That will not be enough.
Now, also, you should keep in mind that, um, escaping, I believe, is also considered, like, an attack action.
So I think every time you take a minus, you get the multiple attack to it.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Well, it wasn't a crit fail.
Correct.
Uh, let me double check.
Because it's an 18.
Uh, that, that will be a crit fail.
Uh, oh.
Oh, is it now?
So I'm going to reroll that with my hero point.
Which means you actually, you can't attempt, yeah, because if you, a critical fail on escape is you can't attempt escape again until your next turn.
Uh, in that case, I'm going to use a hero point, and I'm going to try that again, because that's not a good use of my time.
Absolutely.
Just got to do a little bit better than that.
Rerolling!
Yep.
That's not much better.
That's a five.
Is that a crit fail?
It is.
Okay, well, Vic is, Vic is stuck.
She is trying to budge her way out of this claw.
Let me talk to you, I blast you!
You can still attack and do other things, it's just, um, it, one, you'll take a multiple attack penalty on your subsequent attacks now, and two, anytime you take an action, you basically have a flat chance of, of failing when you're grabbed.
Yeah, I know, because I got to do the DC five check.
Uh, she's going to try to pry it loose using her glaive, and seeing that the claw does not budge after her struggling, she will instead loop it through the claw and then use both hands to swing at the guy using a map minus five using exacting strike.
Absolutely.
This is a map minus five.
Yeah, Zoran?
This is an exacting strike, uh, lower your, give you a minus five, you just, keep going, nevermind, I gotcha.
Yeah, I've got it, dude, I'm good.
Yeah, I was very good, sure, sorry, my bad, I'm backseeing too bad.
Yes, die.
Okay, but I have to make a DC five check before I do anything?
Uh, yeah, make the DC five now, so, so roll a d20, see, basically if this pincer prevents you from taking your action, because it's holding you and kind of, like, squealing as it's shaking you about.
I roll a ten.
Yeah, you're good, you're good, so you succeed.
Okay, so I'm going to make a, exacting strike is just a modifier I can put on my strike, that's all I have to do.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, wait, hold on a second, so it counts as an attack, correct?
So you'll get the map, the map on this, but basically.
No, no, no, I'm asking, I'm asking because exacting strike is press.
Um, it is, yeah.
It allows me to follow up earlier attacks.
Yeah, so for the purpose of this, escape is an attack, yeah, escape is an attack.
Okay, cool, wanted to verify that.
Yep.
I'll do a map minus five with an exacting strike, please don't fuck it up.
Well, 23 miss.
By three.
Well, mercifully, that means I get to make another, a map minus five attack.
Technically, that is, uh, yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
Uh, yeah, okay, make, make another attack, yeah.
It's kind of, she's not in a great position for swinging the glaive around the first time,
it's just kind of bending her arm a bit.
Uh, she will attempt again, though, because exacting strike lets me try again without incurring
further map penalties.
Yeah, so it's just still minus five.
Roll it again.
That's the same roll out of 23.
All right, so you, you begin swinging the, the, your weapon around wildly, trying to, to
strike exacting, lining it up, but this thing has grabbed you, it's kind of shaking you about
slightly as it's crushing down on you.
Um, all right, well, with that, I think that's the end of Ixco?
Yeah, that'll be it, I can't do fucking anything else.
Well, in turn, it is the big guy's go now.
Oh, first of all, you have persistent bleed from the, uh, the Kameha, or the, the, the,
type two, type two roll recovery.
Krillin's Destructo disc is no longer affecting me, 19 on the recovery.
Nice.
Victrix is full of, Victrix's blood is like pancake syrup.
It's from all the swamp roots she's been eating.
Very good, very good.
All right, well, fine.
Uh, Rot Dadamis goes, the avatar of Rot summoned forth by Picturn, uh, squeals and uses its first
action to maintain the grapple on you, Victrix, holding you in place, um, and then uses its
next action, um, like whipping about its, its pincer goes and grabs Vali, its second pincer.
Yeah.
I guess he does have two hands.
Mm-hmm.
That'll be a hit.
That will be a hit.
A hit on an eight.
Ah, my four.
Yes.
Um, we will hit you.
I got a question about this.
Uh, yes.
How is, obviously turning around to meet Vali, does that mean that Vic is staying
in the exact same place?
This is like, okay, this is a bit of a weird ism with like tokens and stuff.
In this case, it's essentially like it's spreading out its claws, like one's going to
you and then it's kind of like skittering around, holding you there and moving in a different
direction to grab Vali.
Right.
Yeah.
So it's, it's essentially just like doing a T-pose, um, and grabbing Vali, um, which.
Yes.
Uh, will strike you, Vali, for, uh, 21 points of damage.
Ouchie, ouchie.
And then it will grab you.
Lobsters for lesbianism.
And that will be its turn.
As it now has both Victrix and Vali grabbed.
Anger.
Oh, no.
All right.
He's a misogynist.
I don't think that's what this is.
Yes, you know, it is Oren's turn.
Not so sure.
No one seems decently in good health for now.
Um, Oren is going to.
For now.
Yeah, for now.
Yeah, he's going to hit us with a spell.
I'm going to reach, uh, reach spell feed again.
And I'm then going to cast on to Rob Datamus.
Tempest Surge.
Primits a bunch of wind.
He begins to swing his, uh, like swing his staff around, his healing staff around.
His wind begins to gather up, crackling energy, and lightning just all around him.
Hopefully not hitting Valley in Victrix at the same time.
And he will cast Tempest Surge.
You surround, you surround a falling, a swelling storm of violet winds, falling clouds, and crackling energy.
Uh, Quantum has to make me a basic reflex save and be at a DC of 25.
Or else, the storm will deal 1d12 electricity damage that the target must attempt to reflex save.
On the failure, the target is also clumsy too.
For one round, it takes persistent electricity damage.
Okay.
Very good.
Very good.
All right.
Well, let's see if I can make this reflex save.
Well, cause it's hiding to four cause it's a focus spell.
And so it'll be 40 to have electricity for my damage.
So let's see if it makes it.
Oh, it fails.
It's busy.
It's T-posing.
It's hard to reflex while you're T-posing.
As it's got both of its pinstress.
I rolled garbage at like two, three, four, and then I'll 11.
It's only 20.
But regardless, it's 20 electricity damage.
And it will be clumsy too.
You can just drag that on there.
And I'll click this persistent electricity for you.
So I think if you do the damage button on that, it'll take one persistent electricity damage.
I got you.
Bam.
And for clumsy too, I'll click this and read it out for chat so they know what clumsy does.
Your movement becomes clumsy and an act.
Clumsy always includes a value.
Take a status penalty equal to the condition value to dexterity-based checks and DCs, including AC, reflex saves, range attack rolls, and skill checks using acrobatic stealth and thievery.
So if you're going to do anything that makes it do a reflex save, it'll be a little bit easier.
So that is Oren's turn.
It took all three of my actions.
And Oren's just like, Oren's just like, I'm tired of being in this swamp!
Now it's Rahua's turn.
Oren is very sad.
All right, Rahua, you're up.
So among our funny DPS members of the party, do we all do a unified damage type?
I think I do slashing, because this is a glaive.
We have slashing, piercing, Tannhauser.
Yeah, I use Tannhauser damage.
Yeah, it's a very effective damage type.
It's true.
Tannhauser type, yeah.
What's your primary form of damage, Speaker?
My primary form of damage is electrocuting people with Shocking Grasp.
I see.
Okay.
Now, would it be safe to assume you're going to do something funny on your next go immediately after me?
You would be rather safe in assuming this.
Excellent!
So Rahua's going to glide across the battlefield.
Not quite gliding.
Just running very fast.
As the tendrils of inky black behind him are trailing before sliding to a stop in front of Rotdatamus.
Hopefully flanking with where Vali is now as well.
As the tendrils shoot out and a little tears in reality around Rahua before coming back down on Rotdatamus, nodding around it.
As I'm going to cast Seal Fate.
And Rotdatamus, should it fail its check, will be weakened.
I'm just going to cast that spell and Thurston will have to make a save for that.
All right.
Let the spell in.
Yeah, click the cast.
Cast the spell.
Cast it.
Cast it.
14.
You will hit it.
Yeah.
Nice.
With a 27.
27.
And then, can you click the cast spell button?
Oh, sorry.
Because that'll post it in there and then I can do my 40th save.
Not on Rahua, but on myself, I guess.
Because, you know.
Yeah.
I always do the attack thing.
I always do the cast button thing there.
Yeah.
I'll shove in jail.
Okay.
In case it adds or misses anything.
Okay, I succeed.
Cripes.
Barely.
I mean, this is a boost.
It's a big, it's a big boy.
It's a boss.
It's a big still.
It's weakness too.
But he will now be weakened to electricity.
Nice.
Yeah, yeah.
And he will be weakened to that by two until the end of my next turn.
Nice.
Okay, cool.
I want to point this out really quick, Thurston.
I find this very funny.
Failure.
Same as success, but duration is one minute.
If the target creature is reduced to zero HP by the chosen damage and its level is seven or less, it dies.
As though reducing this to zero health would not kill it already.
That is more applicable to players.
Yes.
I know.
This would be a really funny thing to kill you with.
Yes.
That is where it's like, oh.
Thurston says, is the cleric hiding behind the tree is ready to cast that spell on us?
Also, wait.
Does that mean that if we cast that on our dearest picture in Squelchfoot that we could have avoided phase three?
I mean, who knows?
I do like critical failure, though, because critical failure is an actual curse because it makes the duration unlimited.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's a really good crit fail effect.
I quite like that spell.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
All right.
You got it.
You got it.
I mean, and does it do damage at all?
No, it just.
No, it just.
Yeah.
It just incurs the penalty as far as vulnerability.
All right.
Tanhauser is up.
All right.
At the start of my turn.
Yes.
I'd like to ask if I could spend a hero point to do one thing.
I'm going to reach into my bag of tricks and use the most powerful weapon at my disposal.
Okay.
Caltrops.
Caltrops.
Caltrops.
Caltrops.
Oh.
Oh, Caltrops.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
If I spend a hero point, can I use an action to throw these Caltrops across Crawdadamus and
have them count as Crawdadamus wearing metal for the purposes of shocking grasp?
That sounds like a narrative declaration about malicious to me.
That is definitely a hero point.
That's the question is, can I spend a hero point to do it?
I will allow it.
I will allow it, but it's only for one attack and then the Caltrops don't even count as being
on the ground or anything.
Totally fine.
So I will reach into my pocket.
Pocket Caltrops is like pocket sand and then you.
Literally.
Taste.
There's a lot of nooks and crannies on the Crawdad.
And he's covered in sticky rod.
Yeah.
That's my thinking is that he looks like he'd be goopy.
Like they might even stick to he goopy.
But I accept you allowing me to even begin to get away with my bullshit.
So then I am going to spend another action, true strike.
And now I'm going to spell strike with shocking grasp at the fourth level.
Oh God.
So let's get started.
I'm going to roll this twice.
Pick the highest of two.
Okay.
Oh, one's a seven.
Twenty-three.
That one was not very good.
There it is.
Fifteen will get it though.
Oh, excellent.
He's flat-footed, right?
Yes.
All righty then.
So this damage plus five.
So 11 off the top.
Okay.
And now we get to the fun part.
What type of damage is this?
This is slashing.
Oh, fuck me.
That's okay.
I kid.
I kid.
I kid.
It's actually going to be five more than that.
It's just that he has resistance.
He has resistance five for slashing.
He has resistance.
Yeah.
It looks like his carapace is not as affected by slashing weapons.
What's your weapon for Tanhazer?
It's an excoriatorge.
Okay.
Never mind.
You can keep going.
Okay.
Cool.
Cool.
And I just want to check and see if my extra damage from Laughing Shadow is different than
my weapon.
It does not appear to be.
So let's get to the main event, shall we?
As lightning begins pouring forth from my ambulatory limb, let's cast my fourth level
Chalking Grasp.
12, 3, 7, 7, 3 on the damage.
Oh, not the strongest damage.
But still good.
That's pretty decent.
Right on down the middle.
That's 34.
Yeah.
That's 34 with the two weakness to it.
And two weakness, yeah.
It means also, would I crit it?
I doubt I would, but would I crit it with a 32?
No.
Okay.
Figured as much.
It was also going to enjoy 1d4 persistent electricity damage.
Yeah.
That'll overwrite the other.
Yeah.
It takes the highest one, but it's better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And the damage it'll take, it'll be two more.
So four, five, six persistent now.
Yeah.
We take those.
Yeah.
If you need help with it, you can remove mine, then add that one and apply it.
And it should do it.
There you got it.
A horrific visage is all it has.
Strike it down, comrades.
And that's my good spot.
Was there a, the metal armor does the persistent electricity thing, right?
Let's see.
The target wearing metal armor is made of metal again.
Plus one circumference bonus to your attack roll.
Okay.
It's just plus one attack roll.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's all it does.
Did I get that?
He was just fishing for some bonus too.
A little, you know, a little, little bit of difference than it could have.
I'm saying it out loud because we may know, they might know, but not know.
Out of curiosity, would the 24 have hit?
I don't think so.
No.
No, it said miss.
Just wanted to know.
Well, it didn't calc the plus one, so I just didn't know.
Okay.
Okay.
So I think it's me.
Um, I'm first going to try and wiggle the fuck out of here.
Don't, don't roll lower than a five or lower.
Yep.
Uh, and as a, what's a scape check again?
Uh, so that'll be, um, there's a couple options for you.
I think it's athletics or acrobatics, which would be good for you.
Oh boy.
I'll put this here so you can see what it's all about.
Um, to make it easy for you, if you do a control space type escape for the action,
drag it onto your action thing, there would be, you see the ones that it looks like you
see athletics, speech bubble, then acrobatics, speech bubble.
If you click the speech bubble for acrobatics, you can, uh, click it to do a save if you're
targeting the thing.
That's a macro that we have.
Modifier.test is not an option.
I'm just going to roll acrobatics.
Yeah, don't worry.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to try and dexterity my way out of this.
Not good.
So, um, that, uh, that will be a critical failure.
Oh, critical failure.
You have hero points.
There you got two of them.
Yeah, I guess I do have hero points.
Thanks, Jet.
Yeah, shoot.
I guess I am going to attempt.
I really don't want to be crushed by this thing.
I hate to be using it for re-rolls, though.
It's fair.
Man, we just can't.
Oh!
Oh, you are, you are trapped in the claws.
Oh, boy.
I am trapped in them claws.
All right, then.
You've heard of hero quest it.
Oh, I already did.
That was a hero quest.
Yeah.
Then, uh, you could do nothing to get fucked a nerd.
Then I, uh, am not sufficiently slippery, apparently.
So, Volley is just kind of, kind of, pull out her, um, she's going to take the gun in her
off hand, press it against Crawdadimus' head, and I'm going to use the, uh, Luminous
Pistol.
All right.
All right.
The funny, special thing that I have to go into a different tab for.
Oh, so you're going to, like, aim the line away from, uh...
Yes, away from Victrix.
Very good.
No, shoot Victrix.
She'll love it.
Yeah, so I'm going to use my last two actions to just fire through Crawdadimus.
Absolutely.
Do it up.
Let's see what happens.
She's fucking afraid because she's being held by God like a potato.
Oh, yes.
This is her God, too.
Uh, yeah, exactly.
I'm cooking him.
Cooking him for an ancient, right.
Um, yeah.
He just needs to make a, uh, reflex save.
Uh, yeah.
I will.
You need to make that with your penalty because of the clumsy.
Yeah.
Ooh, 26.
That does, uh, that does save.
Um.
Give me half damage.
Well, roll damage and I'll get half.
Yeah, yeah.
I, uh, I hate to be an ass.
Uh, does she have to roll that DC, or that DC5 check because she's still grabbed?
That's true.
Yeah, roll me a D20.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's absolute.
No, you're right, Sarandil.
Thanks, Urndil.
Um, teacher, you forgot to assign us homework?
Yeah.
Okay, there we go.
There we go.
Hey, I'm grabbed by this thing, too.
Yeah, exactly.
We have to both suffer.
All right, so it's going to be...
Oh, not great.
It's still, it's still damage.
It's better than the other types of damage unless, oh, for fuck's sake.
Oh, he has resistance to fire?
Use bludgeoning if you can.
No, he made his save, so he only takes half damage.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
I was like, he has resistance seven against holy damage?
Well, listen, crawfish are notoriously resilient against the attacks of priests and other holy men.
It just makes sense.
I once saw a Catholic guy I knew get pinched by one, and he was like, oh, no.
You guys have to think that we've made a divine being manifest real.
Yeah.
Divine being real, true.
Volley, is that it for Trois?
That's going to be my turn.
All right, Vic.
I'm going to try to break off the pincer again.
You know what?
His hands are full.
Vic is just going to continue to try and wallop him.
Attack it?
Yeah, okay.
Give me the flat check for the first attack.
Are you going to do an exact thing on the first attack then?
I assume so.
It's a press.
Oh, that's right.
It's a press.
It has to be.
And I have to ask Thurston, given my current predicament, can I attempt to knock down him?
Um, I mean, probably, yeah?
I'm asking you, because I'm grabbed, presumably held in the air by a giant crab.
It'd be very funny if I could hit its feet.
Yeah, if the, yeah, you can certainly attempt to trip it, yes.
Okay.
So I'm going to quickly make my roll to my d20.
Okay.
Not 1d0, goddammit.
Seven.
Aw, I saw that one.
Um, so you're good.
So you're good.
Okay.
Now you can make an attack roll against it.
Uh, then you will make a trip, um, immediately after.
So with knock down, it's, uh, two.
It's two action move.
Yeah.
And I will have to make a melee strike.
If it hits and deals damage, I can attempt an athletics check to trip the target I hit.
Yes.
If I am wielding a two-handed melee weapon, I can ignore Tripp's requirements that I need a free hand.
Yes.
But, and you don't increase the, the, the map until the end of this, which, I mean, is your good action.
Yeah, it only increases it by one.
Yeah.
Oh, that was right.
You would have one action after this, yeah.
Cool.
Whack.
Do it up.
You're full of shit.
That's a three.
That was a three for a 20, so that will miss.
I'm going to re-roll that hero point it.
Yep.
Here we go.
I want you to know I saw that number and immediately opened up the little panel for hero points.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, Zoran, uh, you might, you might want to start scraping off the LGBTQIA plus because
you're kind of, you're kind of hampering these two here.
I'm just going to say that.
I'm going to re-roll that.
Oh, eat my fucking ass.
At least that's a hit with a seven.
That's a hit.
It was close to the one, though.
Thank God you're a fighter.
Thank God he fixed natural skill for that.
Yeah, wow.
Okay, you'll hit.
I still deal damage with it, so.
Yes.
That's the magic of fighter, baby, and that's 19 slashing.
Yep.
With a bleep.
I open an artery in his spindly little shitty legs.
Cool.
There we go.
What?
God damn.
Sorry, that is not what it is.
It should have been one sec.
It should be five more.
Thirsten, his armor is increasing.
No, it's the adjusting thing was awkward.
There we go.
Okay.
Foundry is conspiring against you.
Against you, yes.
Okay, so.
But it is bleeding, too.
I will now attempt an athletics check to trip the target.
Yes.
As Vic is a strong lady, she has spent many years in the swamps tripping crawfish.
Granted, they were very small.
I believe in you.
She's been preparing her whole life for this.
Oh, for Kramity Jim Jim.
That will not be enough to trip this.
I have a less than 50% chance of improving this.
Do I dare do that?
I mean, risk it for the biscuit.
It's life or death.
So trip.
Let me just look up trip real quick, because there's the action for it.
Uh, if you fail, you lose your bath, fall, and land prone.
So.
Is that a crit fail?
I mean, I land prone.
That's a crit fail.
If you just normally, there's no fail.
This is not a crit fail.
This is not a crit fail.
But if you got worse than an 11, you could knock yourself down.
Then I will avoid doing so for now.
She slashes and opens an artery in the tiny shitty legs, but does little else.
Seeing this, she will be mad and proceed to make a map minus five strike.
Okay, cool.
And roll the d20, see if you can do it.
Yep.
Go.
You're good.
Yep, she's fine.
Lots of 11s out of you.
Um.
Yeah, it's her special number.
That means something.
All right.
Give me the map minus five, please.
Map minus five.
You roll a 12 or higher on the die.
You're good.
Yeah, there you go.
Yay.
I will hit.
There you go.
Give me the map.
She's mad.
She's spiking this garbage.
12 damage.
I'm going to just apply the damage and then apply the resist.
Oh, it did apply the resist this time.
Okay, sure.
Whatever.
Okay, so good.
Takes the John DiMachio there.
But it is still holding on to you.
She is wildly flailing her, uh, her glaive and hitting this thing and just screaming loudly.
Drop you sumbitch horse's ass.
Drop.
Okay.
She is.
Okay.
Okay.
And my turn.
Angry as hell.
All right.
Well, um, that's, that's it.
All right.
So at the start of Rodadamus's turn, and I'm going to apologize in advance.
Um, it's going to use this.
It's going to, first of all, it's not going to sustain, but it does keep you grabbed until
the end of its turn.
That's how grab works.
Gotcha.
I'm going to use this ability here called grab strict.
So I need both Vic and Volley to click on that basic fortitude save.
Basic fortitude.
I'm good at that.
I roll 16.
I rolled an 18 with a 34.
That was not a crit success.
I rolled a 23.
That is a failure.
Okay.
So Volley, you will take 23 points of damage.
So I'll just apply that to you.
Uh, Victrix, you will take half of that.
I'll deal that to you.
Um, and then, um, I need.
Um, to put the unconscious thing on Volley, because now you are unconscious.
What?
Oh, boy.
Yeah, if you fail, that saved your unconscious.
Oh, it's greater constrict, that's why.
Yeah.
So, it's an attack so relaxing, you can't stay awake for it.
Oh, my God.
It hit her with the chloroform claw.
Not the chloroform claw.
I hate this.
As it's like, as this massive pincer is now just crushing you and, like, forcing out all of your breath,
you're starting to, like, lose your vision.
Uh, Victrix, since you succeeded.
Hey, speaker.
I'm sorry.
You.
Oh, sorry.
What?
Thurston?
Yes.
Hello?
Uh, so, funny thing about that.
Yeah?
So, as this happens, and Volley is getting her insides crushed and mangled and about to fall unconscious from the sheer pain,
a ghostly image of her appears briefly before disappearing, and she is fine for one turn due to the consequences of Delay Consequence.
Oh.
So, she's still gonna get fucked up, but she's just looking at this like, uh-uh, no, no, no, no, no, not right now, and just pulls her away,
sequesters this other version of Volley from the time stream out and out of mine for right now.
Woof, okay.
You got one more shot.
You might, yeah.
I got it.
There we go.
I got it.
There we go.
Ding.
So, yeah, it's a creature.
Yeah.
That's spicy.
That is very spicy.
Thank you, Ruhu.
I owe you my life.
Oh, don't, don't owe me yet, because it's coming back to hit you.
Well, you see, this is where I was gonna say I, I kind of apologize, but I don't kind of apologize, because I, you've had like two, you've been setting up, and it's been setting up.
All right, that was its first action.
Oh, boy.
Its second action.
It continues to squeeze.
Please give me another save.
Another one?
Yeah.
It's a single action to greater constrict you.
Oh, boy.
12 is a success.
Okay.
Cool.
Yeah, that's correct.
You have a hero?
Oh, my God.
You have two hero points now, Volley.
Yeah, but she has, like, a less than 50% chance of fixing that.
Yeah, I mean, the only way it could get worse is if it's a fail.
Knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood.
So, yeah, I'll re-roll it.
Might as well.
Here we go.
Here we go.
No, it's worse.
Oh, that's worse.
That wasn't a crit fail, though.
At least you tried.
Okay, so nothing changes for you.
Here we go again.
Well, here's the next set of damage.
It was a good idea, Hulky.
I'll get, I'll take the unconscious off here.
Then I'll apply the damage to Volley.
Then I will apply the half damage to Vic.
And then, guess what it's going to do for its third and final action, y'all?
Please don't fall into it.
We go on again.
Consider its actions and turn to a life of good.
Please don't, please.
Don't fall into it.
Don't fall into it.
I haven't yet been she for a third time.
I roll a 28 again.
Chat, please give me her energy.
Can she even resist because she's unconscious?
Yeah.
It's fortitude.
It's your body's ability.
Is that delayed?
How, how, how long is that unconscious getting delayed?
Well, the first one is unconscious.
And, and, but no, because then you failed again and then you became unconscious.
So, well, she's not unconscious.
It's weird.
I guess if you got woken up next to her, then you would immediately fall back to sleep.
So, yeah, if you take damage, you come up.
But it's like, you get the idea.
Yeah.
So, she's awake again, but she might fall asleep again.
Yeah.
Circle, life circle.
Oh, I saw that one.
Oh, my God.
You can't make it with a 13.
Oh, yeah.
No, that's a, that's a, that's a failure.
I believe the DC is probably right at 28.
Yeah.
Well, I've made that DC twice.
Well, well, Vali, um, would you like to re-roll now or are you going to, as Kat says, pop like a ketchup packet?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I think you'll survive the next attack.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, maybe.
Yeah, this is his last action, so.
At this point, I might as well try.
I'm sorry to burn through all my hero points, chat.
You've been so generous with me.
Yeah, I'll go ahead and re-roll it.
Yeah.
Just to hail Mary.
Sure.
It's a hard knock life.
Hey!
That's better.
Hey!
18!
I saw the 8, and I'm like, no!
There we go.
So you only take half.
You take 9.
Oh, Christ, on a bike, dude.
But you can't go unconscious for one minute now.
Well, for-
That is true.
From greater constrict, yes.
That's, yeah.
Um, but at the end of its turn, neither of you are grabbed, as it spends all of its efforts squeezing both of you.
Um, grabbing, yes.
Stapping out the life force, then it just discards both of you.
And then it roars its head back with a triumphant, like, hiss that cuts through you.
Oh, and, Vali, uh, there is one other thing you have to do now, because it did actually display strike you, and I forgot to apply this.
Um, give me a will save, please.
Oh!
Oh, do I have to do that, too?
No, you're immune to it for 24 hours.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
But Vali has not been affected by this, so.
Okay, okay, okay, whew!
You're, you're good, so you are also immune to this for the next 24 hours.
Cool.
Oh, oh my god.
Thank you, chat, for your energy.
All right.
All right, that was, that was the act of the giant Rotdatamus.
Oh, people are still giving me hero points.
Thank you, chat, love you.
I have persistent, I have persistent bleed.
Recover.
Chat.
Can Rotdatamus recover?
No.
No.
There's no critical failure effect on a persistent damage, though, so.
Sheesh.
Vic is just rubbing her hand up and down her side, like, I did not wear a corset for 31
years of my life to now wear one from a crab.
Yeah, for the electricity one, I don't know if you applied the right one correctly, but
it'll be six persistent on him with the weakness, and four the Tannhauser did for his
persistent.
Yeah, yeah, I've got to, I've got to actually roll that recovery check, because he's got the
two different, I only did the one, so.
Chat, you're all allies to women.
And then, so it's two extra, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take that, take the pain.
So it'll be six total, because Tannhauser's four that overridden.
No, no, Tannhauser did one, you did D4, so the D4's higher.
Hold up, we're going to scroll.
Yep.
Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll,
scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
So remember that his overridden the thing.
God damn it.
You think, you think, where'd my thing go eat?
I'm mostly checking that, because I know somebody's going to be like, hey.
Yeah, no, he did four.
Yeah, he did four persistent electricity damage, so four with his weakness would be six.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, remember, we had that old thing where it would replace mine, because mine was weaker.
Oh, okay, okay, okay, cool.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm sounding all rules, Laurie.
I'm just double checking, because I know someone's going to come in going, um, actually, and then,
you know, it would get all fixed.
Yeah, it's the chat.
Yes.
Oh, I don't, yeah.
Hulky Crow added the user term, please die.
It's a lot to check, a lot to do, a whole bunch of stuff.
All right, well, Oren, you're up.
It is my turn, and Oren is going to see Volley getting killed.
He gets flashbacks of all the multiple times Volley has died, and you just see just kind
of like a painful cry of, like, Volley!
And then he'll just, like, immediately just heal Volley with another Wreath spell, make
sure I'm in range.
Yep, 50 feet.
So Wreath spell, feed again, boom, one action.
Two action heal, uh, that's going to be, uh, my last, uh, I've already casted that one,
so I have to be a second level one.
Yes, second level heal.
I'm going to have to do it, so what I have left in my spell slot.
So, woo!
And that's going to go to Volley.
That's going to heal for a total of, only rolled a six and a one on the die, but it's
23 total to Volley.
And if she was unconscious, she no longer is, because she received healing.
She was not, so we're good there.
That's all three of Oren's actions.
And he's like, just stay with us, Vali!
Don't go away again!
And then he'll heal you.
I gotcha!
Rahua!
Okay!
So, seeing what's going on here, fucking, oh dear.
I'm looking at, yeah, okay, no, I'm committing to this one.
So, Rahua, with the damage Rotdatamus has already taken, will reach up his hands, will
the energy around him surging forth and trying to envelop Rotdatamus, or at least what's
under Rotdatamus, and I'm going to try and cast Bone Shaker, heightened, three actions.
Ooh, okay, okay, okay, okay.
But wait, Hulky, he's a crustacean.
Ah, but an exoskeleton is still a skeleton, is it not?
Oh my god, he's right!
Rattle them bones!
Rattle them bones.
Roll me, uh, or cast the spell, and we'll see y'all.
Okay, so, I must make a fortitude save.
As if someone's shaking your skin, that'd be fucked up.
I will critically succeed, so I will take nothing from that.
As your attempts to shake the bones reveal, there are no bones.
There is only Rot.
He's mid of Jello.
Yes.
The 14 was a critical success.
I hate you.
It's a, okay, this thing is the size of a small house.
It has a good fortitude.
Yeah, so whenever, whenever you're dealing with large creatures like this, it's going to
have high strength, so high strength, a good fortitude, more likely like a low reflex and
stuff, so you probably want to go like reflex savey stuff with it.
If you try to beat it with strength, you're probably going to lose, you know, so think
of that logic.
Great.
I will remember that after this combat, since I don't have access to it anymore.
Yes.
Also, uh, Thurston, does the clumsy effect go down the one now?
I don't think it'll automatically bring it down one.
I just want to make sure.
Oh yeah, I got you.
Yeah, you can right-click it and go down this value, I think.
Boop.
There we go.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm just, it's a lot to take track of, so I'm just trying to help.
So I apologize if I'm sounding too annoying about it.
You good?
You good?
That was it for you, Rahua?
Yeah, I can't do anything else.
Tan Houser.
Tan Houser Mania is about to go wild.
Um, okay.
I'm going to do another crazy thing with a hero point.
Okay.
Um, so the claws, everyone's released from the claws, right?
Yeah.
Yes.
For now.
Um, if I were to cast a little known cantrip, known as Tanglefoot, onto one of the claws,
which grants people the immobilized condition, I say grants, inflicts the immobilized condition,
can I potentially shut down one of the two claws for a set of period of time, if I use a hero point?
Yeah, I'd say so.
Okay.
My god is putting the rubber bands on him.
Then I think it's time to put some rubber bands on this crawdad.
Son of a bitch.
It's time to boil this crad.
I will cast Tanglefoot.
It's the strongest spell in the game.
Oh.
Oh.
Other people were hitting with a, um, uh, 25 now.
No?
No, not 25.
You probably needed one more, maybe.
A loss and a lock.
You have a hero point.
Um, the other thing is, is that, um, Tanglefoot wouldn't benefit from, um, flat, uh, from the
flanking.
That's why.
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess with my last hero point, I could re-roll that.
Yes.
It's less than 50%, but go for it, I suppose.
Yeah, I think I will, because getting one of those claws out of the game is really good,
because, uh, if Bali gets, uh, uh, crab clawed again, um, crabbed on, you know, crab hammer
is a damaging move.
We all know this.
And then we find out-
Okay, did this!
Oh.
Oh, that means I have to go to the complications sheet.
Complication.
Well, that's worse.
That's worse.
It's fraud and freuder.
Yeah, maybe we lucked out.
Maybe, maybe, uh, maybe he does more damage by slamming you with his bludgeonous claw rather
than crushing you with it.
Who knows?
Right?
Like, it'll be fine.
I imagine he's going to grab us again and continue duking that.
Uh, Oren is seeing what Tannhouser's trying to do as you're looking for your complication.
Oren's like, Tannhouser, what?
What are you doing?
Tannhouser!
It's all under control!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Oh, that's it!
Imagine, like, you, like, you tangle-footed, and then it's, like, it's wrapped around his
claws, just swinging you around.
Ah!
This complication is called splitting the atom.
Your spell splits the atom and causes a nuclear explosion inside of your skull.
That's your death scene.
Ah!
I'm taking you all with me!
Oh!
Shout out to my homie, Oppenheimer.
Wait.
Oh.
That movie is going to use to barbie in the box office.
You know what?
You know what, Zoran?
Thank you.
Thank you for having that exchange.
It's really, it's really pertinent here.
I'm going to use this one, um, from, uh, uh, Toadkiller Dog called the Outset City Shuffle.
Um, and the, uh, the Anarchy decides that you were stationary for too long, and now swaps
positions with another teammate.
So, Oren, I'm gonna move you over there.
And, Tannhauser, I'm gonna move you back there.
God damn it.
As you swap positions.
Oh, damn it.
Well, as funny as that is.
And, Tannhauser, what a speaker's just like...
Dragon Ball Z teleport is sweet.
I just imagine speakers like, I always get the complications shitting, I'd be fucking thirsty.
God damn it.
I'll, I'll have to, what am I gonna do from here?
Detect magic?
Fuck my life.
Um.
You can just produce flame from there.
Well, no, he's out of 30.
Tangles for the second time.
You can scratch your ass.
I don't know.
Can you teleport?
No, I can't use Tangle for the second time, because it took me a hero point just to be able to use it.
Yeah.
Wait, can't you teleport at all?
Yeah, I can, but my teleport is, like, slower than me just running.
You know?
Yeah, but then you don't fall into the group.
Then you cast, and then just appear on the roof, like, da fuck?
All right, you know what?
Fuck this.
Fuck you.
Fuck everything.
Everyone is going to die.
I take out my grappling hook, and I'm gonna make an acrobatic check.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking do a sick backflip, and I'm gonna land exactly where I was.
It starts then.
Okay.
I'll even let you displace Oren, who's currently in your spot.
Get displaced.
Get displaced, kid.
Kick him out of the way.
Displaces you.
Can I, uh, what should I roll for this?
Acrobatics?
Yeah, sure.
I delirious sick assy.
Like, I'm just letting you have this after the bullshit I put you through.
It's another one.
No!
You have to be fucking kidding me.
Yes!
It's a one!
Oh, look at me.
Oh!
Does anyone else want to kind of talk in here for a bit while I find the next?
If you're watching this right now, I need you to leave the man alone, okay?
Please.
Please, please, please, let me just do a sick backflip and then get grabbed by the crab
claw mids.
Please do that to me.
It would be really funny, actually.
It would.
Can't you just do that, Thurston?
Please, Grace.
Please, please don't.
Please don't give me the complication that makes my hemorrhoids activate.
Look, two, first of all, two real.
Second of all, I rolled the one and my hemorrhoids exploded.
No, that would be if he got, like, a kidney stone and had to, like, huddle over in pain
on the roof.
You know, that's not a...
He's gonna start looking for meaner complications now!
That's not a complication, Thurston!
Well, look, there's this person named Jurston Jillman who put in this complication of, oops,
my kidney stone.
Kidneys!
Oops, Tenhauzer kidney stone.
Oh, gosh.
Let me see, let me see, let me see.
Oh, God, so many of these are just, like, good, but so many of these are bad, but so many
of these are good.
It's hard to also know which one is a skill versus a, like, combat action, because this
one's kind of the same.
What I've started to do is that any time, like, I'll just morph it a bit because there's
so many situations in these that I think they just kind of want with the spirit of it used
for the best part.
Do the same one again, but now swap Vic with him because now she could do even less.
But then I wouldn't be punished by God.
Yeah, that's true.
Is it that the same thing, asking how much damage do I take?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, it's not going to happen.
That is true.
You know, I think I will go with that.
Just have him tell a frag, Victor, because that could be funny.
Valley, Valley, what's going on?
That one's up there.
And now I'm here.
Valley, Valley.
Valley, I have no idea.
Valley.
Okay, okay.
Valley looks like a crinkle cut fry.
Okay, okay, okay.
So here's what happens.
Here's what happens.
I'm going to use this one.
It's a GC Rust classic called A Stickier Situation.
Oh, no.
Not that you're schlicky.
You are going to get to there.
Actually, no, you wanted to be in your old spot, right?
That's right.
My old house.
Oh.
Okay, so I'll shift.
I'll shift over and over.
You come careening over, but as you do.
I'm sorry, four tanhousers come careening over.
Yeah, four tanhousers.
And Rotdatamus, like, begins, like, way, like, shaking around.
And Rot begins flying up.
And some of it spatters onto you as you have this, like, sickly, somehow viscous black fluid that's impacted you.
And it makes you clumsy, too, in fact.
I thought you were going to have him collide with Oren and do the funny, like, we've both been gummed up.
Oh, no.
Oh, that would have been funny.
But this is awful rot coverage.
Though not in the kind that, you know, gives you rotten or anything awful like that.
Yeah, it really sucked to be rotten, Thirsten.
Yeah.
Is that the end of your go, then, Tanny?
I have one more.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
Of course, haste.
Yes, of course, haste.
Yes.
I'm going to look up at this fucking beast.
I'm now covered in rot.
I'm angry.
I'm humiliated.
I'm going to look at it.
I'm going to kill you so much.
And I'd like to try to demoralize it.
Oh, please.
Oh, boy.
Absolutely.
And I'll manite surge it.
Fuck, yeah.
I saw the wall.
This was a wall.
If there was another one, oh, my God.
Well, the 19 would have developed pretty much total.
That was a 19, though.
For a 31.
The creature, um, you succeed.
So it's become Brightened One.
Yes, the natural enemy.
The actual order of things.
The crawdad fears the robot.
It's the communist.
This kills the crab.
It, like, looks at you skittering backside.
It's like, eh.
Tanhouser, with all your metal, do you remind it of a boiling pot?
I think so.
Vali, save us from this torment.
Well, I don't know if I can reduce anyone's torment.
That's not really my forehead.
I heard it at all last turn.
Not really.
Go to crack.
Um, yeah, I'm going to, I think the best way to get panache here is probably with my,
uh, with my feint.
So I'm going to make a feint against him.
Absolutely.
Feint.
Feint him out.
I'm going to feint him out.
See if I can't do that.
Deception.
Deception.
Deception is now flat-footed against melee attacks until the end of your next turn.
We can only succeed on social rolls against this product.
We can still talk him down.
We can still talk him down.
We gotta cascate him to death.
Come on, gang.
I really wish that was on the attack, but, you know, we take what we can get.
I'm helping my friends.
Uh, so yeah, I'm going to, uh, hit him with a finisher.
Remember, you're still prone.
Am I prone?
No.
No, no, you weren't talking.
She wasn't actually unconscious from that, so.
Oh, she has the thing on her, so it'll affect your stuff.
Oh, weird.
There we go.
There we go.
I got you.
All right.
Striking his ass.
Do it up.
Whack.
I think believe.
That'll hit.
Ooh.
I saw that three, and I will shat myself.
Yay.
32.
We'll hit.
Hit the damn damn.
Line up your strike.
Why did the finisher not go through?
I.
Oh, because panache.
I didn't have panache.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Weird.
You can just roll the damage extra.
Okay.
Uh, for this level.
Oh, God.
My finisher is a 46.
Should be, I think.
Here, here.
Let me, let me do this.
I'll give you panache.
Then you can click the button, and we'll just do, uh, whatever the panache roll is for this.
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
And I'll just add it to the 11.
Sure.
Do it up.
Just roll, roll finisher part ladue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go.
There.
Thank you.
Uh, so.
Yeah, it gives me the number here, so it'll be plus 10.
So you'll do 21 to it.
Not bad.
Same thing.
In fact, it's the same as, yeah, same as the first round, so.
Yeah, good job.
Bop.
Yay.
The simulation continued.
Nice.
Yeah, just have it.
Yeah, look at that half-barger down.
It's nicely.
Yeah.
Is Mossy Weapon off of me?
Is that only for one strike?
Oh, that's, nope, my bad.
That would work.
Oh, crap.
Then you haven't been applying it for, for her either, for Vick.
Yeah, yeah, but actually, I, also for Vick, I forgot.
For those initial attacks to apply the resistance, so.
Ah.
Eden's out.
Sure, whatever.
I got, there we go.
Oh, cool.
All right.
So, deceive.
Uh, yeah, I've got one more action.
I'm out of panache, uh, and I'm going to use my, uh, third action to go here.
Okay.
And I'm going to keep my gun leveled at it.
Sure.
All right, Victrix.
Uh, she's fucking annoyed having her ribs crushed, so she's going to try to trip the
bastard again.
Absolutely.
Give me a knockdown.
Do it up.
Strike!
Go!
Oh, my gosh.
You absolute asshole.
You, when you roll bad, you roll threes.
My blood is boiling, I re-roll that.
Yeah, just roll better.
Yeah, just, just, yeah, don't, don't, don't roll worse than that.
It wasn't worse?
It's true.
Oh, my, what is this supposed to happen when we fight a boss, Thurston?
What'd you do?
Uh, yeah, um, are you influencing the game?
You have to tell us.
Well, I have, I have good news.
With all the penalties you've applied to this poor thing, it's not a crit, so you're good.
Yeah, great.
Five, five for a 22.
All right, uh, she's mad.
Map minus five.
Here we go.
Can I roll worth a damn?
Can you?
I believe.
No!
I saw a 20 almost go, and then God himself pushed it over the two.
Yeah.
Hey, but you exacting strength with the second, right?
Oh, no, no, the knockdown's two, yeah.
It doesn't matter.
I repeat, God forbid women do anything.
All right, everyone.
Being punished.
And then turn it on.
Yes, there you go, kaboom.
All right, so Rotdatamus is going to go.
Now, Rotdatamus is very angry.
It's had its claw attempted to be pincered.
It recoils back, and it takes three action to trample.
Five, ten, 15.
Hey, hey, where are you going?
Hey, where are you going?
Hey.
Go a different direction.
So it basically rushes over all of you, its mandibles chomping in various directions,
as it, like, starts to just, like, move its massive bulk around.
Um, so with this attack, um, I don't have it programmed in, so that's, that's okay.
Are we getting A-Ops?
Uh, only if you have A-Op as a class skill, so only Vic will.
I think I have A-Ops.
Yeah, you can, you can definitely do it, then.
Yeah, if you have it as a feed.
Um, yeah, if you have it as a feed or an ability, you'll get, you'll get an attack of opportunity.
All right, you fucking crab, get an attack of opportunity, bitch.
Yeah, I almost rolled a two again.
I was about to throw my mouse out the window.
Yeah, remember, it's, it's your full attack.
There's no map to this, so.
Yeah, there's no map to this, so full, full, full attack, yeah.
Yeah, anyway, so it was, that was a miss for ten.
Oh, missed.
Uh, he rolled DiMaggio for, uh, slice.
For pockets, people, Victrix hit with a 29, ten has a miss with a 19, and Victrix did 19 damage.
Yeah, let's get into that.
Anybody can't believe me.
Got it.
Because I have my, uh, soulforged armaments manifested, can I shield block his reaction?
And, uh.
Uh, this, this will not be a shield blockable thing, because it's not actually going to attack you with this.
You're all going to make reflex saves against it.
Oh, okay.
Ah.
Remember the, uh, the mossy weapon, Thurston.
Perfect.
Uh, yes, yes, thank you.
Reflex save.
Reflex, reflex.
One that I'm actually decent at.
Knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, you say that.
It's time to do my reflex.
Uh, so that'll be everyone in the party.
Okay.
Rolled a 20.
Uh, no, what did I roll?
I rolled a Krenat one.
A 23.
Uh, does a 23 do it?
Oren rolled a 31.
Okay, uh, the, the target number here is 28.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
I won.
Even though I actually, one sec, uh.
20.
Yeah, I know, it would be, it would be 28.
I'm gonna re-roll mine, because it's actually pretty essential that I've.
Oh, sorry, 27.
27.
27, okay, okay.
Yeah, a little bit better.
I'm gonna spend a hero point to re-roll mine, Thurston, if you don't mind.
Of course.
Thank you.
Oh, it's worse.
It's 19.
Thanks.
That's, that's not good.
Uh, so Vic, you're gonna crit fail.
Uh, Rohua and Volley fail.
And then Oren and Tannhauser, you pass.
Uh, one sec.
I just have to roll damage here.
Vic, Vic gets to experience life as a pancake.
This is fine.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, one sec.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, so that's pretty cool.
So Vic, Trix will take.
Excuse me?
25?
Yeah, you'll take 50.
Yeah, you did roll a natural, you did roll a natural one.
So we also gotta complicate you and all that.
Very good.
Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll complicate in a sec.
Uh.
Yeah, you gotta do all this stuff.
That's, the two of you together will take halfsies.
And Vali will take.
Oh.
Um, and then as, as it like comes roiling around and, and just like hissing and moving and like,
just sort of like basically barrel, barreling through all of you, um, like its bulk is just
smashing around, it's, it's like, not even like specifically attacking you, it's just using
its mandibles to sort of like reach out and pincer you, um, as it rushes by.
Okay, um, and then the save part, um, hmm, hmm, I can need a good one for saves here, y'all.
What's a, what's a good option for saves?
Uh, saving, saves are always a weird one.
Dan Houser, are you okay?
He looks at all of you.
I'm more than okay, I'm furious.
Can you say that three more times, representing your mirror images?
I'm more than okay, I'm more than, I'm more than okay, I'm more than okay.
This one from just Guy, which is a nice vitamin deficiency.
Uh, after all of this, Victrix realizes that Victrix is very hungry.
And
Is enfeebled
God it went right through me
Last time
Yeah bleed
Fall on your sword
I have to add my
EF4 extra for that
And then I have to roll recovery
Very good
Keeps crit failing on the bleed check
But that's very funny
Alright so that's that
Oren you're up
Wait hang on
Is he taking no damage from bleed
Um
That is a
Yeah it's a weird thing for the
Physical I gave it the extra
I'll just apply that manually
I think it's because it's applying the
The damage resistance to it
There we go
Yeah if it's a resistance to bleed
It'll do it
But it also hasn't been taken at all the previous times
And electricity is the
Gotta add the extra
I got I got the
Okay my bad
Electricity weakness
No no no it's just the bleed
Was the one I didn't see
Okay yeah
Sorry about that
I was trying to help out
Uh
So I have two options here fellas
We have a whole round of us going after this thing
And we're low on health
Should we
Do we DPS this thing down?
I
I think that
Those of us who are mortally injured
Should take a step back
And heal
I can keep up the offensive
And get a decent amount of DPS
And then no matter what happens to me
And possibly you Oren
If you want to join me
Um
I think we can DPS it down the next round
Okay
I don't think it'll be able to get both of us
I
From nothing
I think that's a good suggestion
I do have
One last
Technically two last things
I can help out with
Okay then we'll do this
And I am going to heal volley
With my last heal
Okay
Uh
I'm gonna see if I have you
To reach spell
I do
I'm just gonna take all three of my actions
Woof
Whoa
Thanks buddy
No problem
I heal you for 22
I do my reach feet
And then I uh
Two action heal
And that's the end
Of Oren's turn
And uh
And
And you'll see that Oren's
Kind of
Is gripping his bow
Gripping taxes
Ready to use it
You're seeing electricity crackle
He's looking at Tanhauser
Like
I'm ready
I'm ready for a good old one too
Mr. Tanhauser
Good
Let's finish this
My fine
Fevered friend
And that'll be the end of Oren's turn
And as everyone goes
Um
I'm gonna be right back
But you guys can continue without me
That's all I can do
Oakley doakley
Okay
All right
Well then that will bring us to
Rahua
I'm just checking something for you
Real quick
Just to make sure
So Rahua will look at the situation
Think
Oh he can
I can't really
I can't get close enough
To get her out of there
But
I might be able to pull off one
One last final gambit
And Rahua will
Look to the
Dead and inky black sky
But instead of feeling
Just abject
I guess
Horror hopelessness
He feels some
Glimmer
Of hope
And Rahua will think to himself
Oh please
I
I just need this one thing
One right now
Just work with me here
Rahua will extend
His
Left arm
The mechanical one
And you might have to tell me
How many actions this is
As it begins to splay apart
A little bit
And a small
Metal object
Begins extending
From the palm of his hand
Specifically
Two metal plates
Encompassing
Three pieces of ceramic
And I'm going to activate
My wand of crackling lightning
Yeah
Oh
There we go
Zap
It's casted at third level
I don't
I'm trying to see
How to actually roll it here
Do I just
Do you want me to just
Give me the raw damage number for it
Yeah
You can just give me that
And I'll do the save on it
And see how it goes
So it should be
Electricity damage
Since it's
4012 heightened
Third level
Actually
Cool
On it
Whoa
Oh jeez
That is 41 points
Of electricity damage
Uh
Why is it
Height
Uh
The
Equipment description says
This one is made of
Two copper plates
You cast lightning bolt
At third level
But the spell's area is twice as wide
Two adjacent parallel
120 foot lions
I'm going to cast it in such a way
To not hit volley
In what I assume is a cone
To kill her
Yeah
And it does have to make a save
But it doesn't say what it is
It's just to see if they
It's a reflex
Sorry
You rolled
You rolled
Lightning bolt is
4d12
For a third level spell
Is it
Yes
Oh I saw
I'm sorry
I was looking on
PF3A
So it did
4d12
And heightened
Plus one
Is increased
By 12
Uh
Yeah
But it's
It's a third level
Like the one
Casted is third level
So
It
You don't heighten it at all
Because it's not heighten here
Wah
Oh okay
Uh
Yeah
All right
So
Just roll
Um
Yeah
Just roll
4d12 and all
We'll make it
Make it
We have a chance
Of doing more damage
He does
You didn't
It's 26
But that will be a fail
So it will take 26 points
Of electricity damage
Okay we take those
Oh
Oh
Oh he's so close
Says he's dead on my screen
Oh he's dead
So
Holy frick
Ruhua
Uh huh
Describe to me
How the bolt of
Electricity
Destroys
This
Crustaceoid
Monster
So
In the moment
That Ruhua
Readies his weapon
And
Fires it
Presumably
The mutual understanding
Between him
And
Papa Storm
Has
Reached a
Turnabout
So to speak
As
The bolt
That leaps
Forth
From his
Mechanized
Hand
Is
Just
Blindingly
Incandescent
Like
It looks more akin
To just a beam
Of pure white
Surging forth
Like so bright
To the point
Where it just
Makes a silhouette
Out of Rot Datamus
Just black
With this piercing
Beam going through it
As
It reels
For a moment
Caught off guard
By just this
The sheer magnitude
Of this elemental
Of this elemental
Force
Cool
As
Slowly
The
Chitened
Rot
Infected
Sinews
Begin hissing
And popping
As
This
Giant
Nascent
Demigod
Just
Staggers
As it begins
Fizzling away
The
Burning hole
Spreading through
It as it's
Just consumed
But then
It only takes
Half damage
Because I'm
Gonna use
A villain point
You son
Of a bitch
Oh
The boss
Who came back
To life
You son
Of a bitch
I have to go
Back to my
Combat music
Thurston
How many actions
Do I
Take to use
That wand
Two to use
One to draw
Two to use
One to draw
Okay
You're all
Completed
I know
He's
A villain
Point
All right
You son
Of a bitch
Hey
Tanhauser
You're up
Oh
Boy
Can't
Wait
All right
Scam
Hostile
GM
Hostile
GM
Hostile
Hostile
GM
Son of a bitch
Highly
Hostile
GM
I'm running
On up
To this
Son of a bitch
Move
I'm following
Narrative
Declaration
Right now
Oh god
Well I don't
Think I can
Stop
Because I don't
Think I can
Kill him
Three times
This turn
With three
Actions
Remaining
So instead
I'm just going
To focus on
DPSing him
Down
I'm going
To hit him
With that
My auto
Targeting
System is
Going to
Roar to
Life
For true
Strike
And we're
Going to
Save
The
Sump
Bitch
Let's rock
Yep
Oh god
How do I
If I hit
The strike
A hamburger
Yeah
Not quite
Enough
Not quite
Enough
Do I have
A hero
Point
You have to
True strike
Don't you
Oh wait
I don't
Need a
Hero
Point
True
Truest
Of all
Strikes
There you
Go
Battle
Yeah
Let's get
Demage
Going
Seven
It's not
Flatfooted
Right now
Is it
No
No
Well before
Anything
Please take
Eight damage
Okay
Takes
Three
Three damage
Alright
That's fine
But just
Just
Just
Follow
Don't
Fuck this
Up for me
Again
Alright
And now
Yes
The monster
Level three
Shocking
Grass
Ugh
Gross
Damage
But
Twenty
Three
Let's just
Overlay
Hulky's
Description
On what
Happened
Because it
Was all
Lightning
Anyways
Replace
Replace
Rahua
With
Tanhauser
So
All
Four
Shadows
Of Tanhauser
Leap
Up
Onto
Rot
Datamus's
Dumb
Crawdad
Face
Plunge
Their
Weapons
Into
The
Skull
And
Pump
It
Full
Of
Deadly
Electricity
Thurston
On
Call
GM
Hillman
Thank you
Now
Bring
This
Crab
Back
To
Life
And
Let
Some
Poor
Son
Bitch
Do
It
All
Over
Again
Yeah
I
Can't
Because
It
Doesn't
Allow
Me
A
Save
You
Cause
Shocking
Grasp
Is
Just
Unhit
So
You
Kind
Of
You
Kind
Of
Just
Dunked
On
It
Actually
Consolation
Vic's
Totally
Bottled
Out
If
It
Came
To
Her
Turn
She
Was
Just
Going
To
Hide
Behind
Rahua
Is
Zoran
Back
Yet
Or
I'm
Back
I
Apologize
You're
Good
You're
Good
First
Okay
You
Marked
Me
Dead
At
Villain
Point
Good
Good
Good
All
Right
So
As
As
The
Electrical
Energy
Surges
Through
And
Dissipates
The
Rot
Causing
This
Flakes
Almost
To
Start
Flying
Off
Of
It
There
There's
Crackling
Energy
Just
Everywhere
As
This
Is
As
This
Is
Going
On
And
As
As
As
This
Entire
Thing
Begins
To
Just
Dissipate
The
Air
Almost
Seems
To
Cool
Around
You
And
Everything
Seems
Like
Less
Humid
And
The
Boiling
Rot
Manifestations
Around
The
Building
Seem
To
Recede
And
You
Hear
This
Suckling
Sound
As
Everything
Seems
To
Pull
Back
In
The
Sky
Though
With
Some
Clouds
There's
You
Know
Like
Moonlight
And
Starlight
Coming
Down
And
Then
As
Like
This
This
This
Vast
Crawdad
Creature
Almost
Shrinks
Down
As
As
The
Rot
Along
It
Begins
To
Recede
And
Boil
Down
There's
Something
In
The
Center
Of
It
Something
That
Stands
And
Looks
At
You
A
Partially
Etheric
Figure
Who
Looks
And
Stares
Though
You
Can
See
Through
The
Figure
It's
Not
Like
It's
Entirely
Tangible
Or
There
And
You
See
Pic
Turned
Squelchfoot
Standing
Like
The
Day
You
Met
Him
Oh
Oh
My
Hi
Hi
Folks
I'm
Sorry
I
Think
I
I
Think
I
Just
Had
A
Case
Of
The
Meanies
There
You
Know
And
Let's
Take
Our
Break
Here
I
Will
Eat
Cheese
We
Will
Be
Right
Back
Everyone
Don't
You
Like
Oh
You
I
I
I
I
Oh, oh, oh, oh.