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"A LOT with Audra" is the podcast for women juggling big dreams and full lives. Each episode, host, Audra Dinell, Midwestern wife, mom and neurodivergent multi-six figure entrepreneur encourages women to embrace their many roles holistically by living a values-based life with confidence and joy. Through candid discussions, practical strategies and inspiring stories, this podcast is your guide to designing and achieving success without losing yourself in the process.
Ep86
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August Burnout Check
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[00:00:00]
Audra Dinell: [00:01:00] Hey, happy August. By now, if you're a person with kids, your kids are probably back to school. Everyone is back to school But I have to tell you that August is kicking my butt so hard. I don't know about you, but I just feel ... I hit the afternoon, and I feel so, ~like,~ emotionally, energetically, just, like, internally fatigued.
So if you are there too, you are not alone. We are gonna make it through August. This happens every year. For myself, and my family, and my team this year, we just added on a whole bunch of other things.
Birthday Treat Flashback
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Audra Dinell: One thing that does occur every August for us, in addition to the Global Leadership Summit and back to school, is my oldest son's birthday, and that's what got me thinking about this podcast episode.
I was [00:02:00] laughing at myself a little bit because, ~you know, ~I ask my oldest, "Hey, we're gonna celebrate at school. I get to bring a little treat. What would you like?" He had a couple of different ideas, and I ended up going with the easiest, easy ice cream sandwiches, old school Kroger brand. Think I spent less than $10 on 30-something of them to make sure I had plenty extra.
And I just thought back to when my oldest was in first grade, and for his birthday at school, I made these chocolate-dipped banana popsicles. ~So, like, ~I take the banana, and I cut it in half, and I stick a popsicle on the flat part that I've cut into the first half, and I do the same thing for the second half.
And then I dip it in melted chocolate, right? And then I roll it in [00:03:00] sprinkles. And then I freeze it, and I bring these to the first grade classroom, and it just felt so good. I had so much fun with that birthday. My oldest was happy and smiling. It had nothing to do probably with the type of treat that I brought.
It was just such a good memory.
Last Minute Celebration
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Audra Dinell: And today, I get off a call at 2:00, and I have 45 minutes to get to the store, pick out the treats, buy the treats, drive to the school. ~So, you know, ~I, ~like,~ gather up my bags and my ice packs and, ~um,~ all the things that I'll need to, like, transport these treats.
I throw a packet of wipes and a roll of paper towels in, ~you know, ~my, my little plastic grocery bag or my, like, reusable grocery bag, and head to the store, go immediately to the section, get the treats, get back in the car, get to the school. Here we are, and it was such, such a fun time [00:04:00] walking in and seeing him focused on his work, and seeing him celebrated by his classmates, and just feeling his energy of just...
He just felt like he was glowing from the inside out, ~you know? ~And it just, it made me so happy. And I was laughing because it doesn't matter if it is $10 last-minute Kroger brand ice cream sandwiches or planned ahead Pinterest banana popsicles. The result was the same, and the feeling I got was the same.
I was so grateful and felt just so full of joy to be spending my afternoon in his class celebrating him. And I just thought, "Wow, what a difference from first [00:05:00] grade to fifth grade do I see in this situation," yet it's still true to where we are. Everyone's happy. Although on the outside it looks different.
Embracing Seasons Change
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Audra Dinell: And that got me to thinking about this season of change. And I'm talking to many people these days who feel like they're in some sort of transition, some sort of season of change. And I started to think about how okay that is. But oftentimes we talk ourselves out of embracing change. Like, if I were zooming way up and I was just looking down at my life as a first grade mom versus a fifth grade mom, I might have thoughts like, "Wow, you really gave up," or, "You're not as organized as you used to be," or I don't know what other [00:06:00] stuff my brain would have made up, but it would have made up a story that would have left me feeling maybe guilty or like this change was negative.
But just feeling the joy, this was probably one of my favorite birthday treat situations ever because of the way it felt. ~I mean, ~obviously the, the, the 45-minute time slot was a little anxious feeling, but going there and being with him and just seeing what a cool fifth grader he is, ~you know, ~it just, it was my favorite.
And it was probably not even $10 ice cream sandwiches. And just, like, letting myself Be okay. Like, have no judgment towards myself of the way I show up as a fifth grade mom in 2026 versus the way I [00:07:00] showed up as a first grade mom. It's such a silly little example, but I just thought, we do this in bigger ways in our life.
Sometimes we feel that change coming or the need to change. We just, like, feel, my friend said the other day, pregnant with change, where we don't know exactly what to expect, but we can tell that change is coming. We can sort of start to see the signs or feel the signs, but we're not there yet and we're, like, in this in-between season.
So whether it be a job change or a relationship change or, ~you know, ~a full-on, like, location change, identity change, where, ~you know, ~you were just this one way for many years and you're feeling like that doesn't really fit anymore and there's something else that fits me better right now. But so often [00:08:00] I find we hold ourselves back from this beautiful season of becoming who we need to be in this season because of the way it could look.
Three Change Lessons
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Audra Dinell: And I thought of three things that I know I'm personally processing while I am going through a season of change. If you listened to the podcast last week, you know the thread is evolving. It's a big change. It was a long time coming. I'm excited, and there are also feelings, ~right,~ of anxiousness, nervousness, like what is going to be next?
Is it going to be okay? I will tell you, just like I, I told my team, I wish I would have made this decision sooner. If I could go back and change one thing, it would have been to have made this decision sooner. Sometimes I don't think we get that luxury. Sometimes I think we need to peel back all the layers and take all the time.
But [00:09:00] I know one of the ways I sabotage myself is by avoiding a hard thing. And I knew before now that this was a change I wanted to make in one way, shape, or form. It could have looked a couple of different ways within the thread. But I sat on it for longer than I wish I would have. And so while I'm in this season of change, three things that I'm processing that are helping me, and I'm sharing these with you in the case you or someone you know might be in that season of transition and these might help.
Stop Explaining Yourself
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Audra Dinell: Number one, the first thing that I think- holds us back is automatically thinking about, ~well,~ what am I gonna tell blank? Fill in the blank. This person. ~What, ~what would these people think of me, or how would I share that in a way that feels congruent? ~Like, ~we oftentimes think that, ~like,~ who [00:10:00] we are and how we've been showing up, we need to explain to others if we're going to make a change.
And sometimes we absolutely might. But my guess is that more often than not, we don't. There have been years that I have been deeply involved in organizations that I care about, and there have been years where I have not been able to give much of my time or energy If I was so focused on who I have been to that organization or that cause or that group of people or that person
If I was overly focused on that, that is a thing that I think, ~like, kind of ~gets in the way of allowing the changes we need to make to happen. So number one, one thing I am personally doing is trying very hard to catch thoughts that come in when they're about [00:11:00] what someone else might think. Because I know for sure if that's how I live my life, I will absolutely end up with regret that I could have avoided.
I remember the first time I started thinking about shifting the model of the thread, and it was just, like, such a scary thought that I couldn't even, I couldn't even face it. And then it came up again with a coach ~n- nearly a year later.~ Then it came up again in a strategy session. ~Then it ca- I mean, ~it's like it kept coming up.
But when I first thought about it, it was too scary. What would people think? Would people think I'm a failure? This must go on forever. We must hit cohort 100. ~You know? I mean, ~you go into a business with those intentions sometimes, or maybe even if you don't [00:12:00] go in with them, they're, like, ~sort of ~living in the background.
But guess what? I finally, like, shook myself loose ~of, ~of that fear and that thought and took a good hard look at what I thought would be the change we needed. And I had to get over thinking about, what am I gonna tell people or how will this look?
Rewrite Your Stories
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Audra Dinell: The second thing when it comes to change is examining the stories I tell myself.
This one for me is huge. The way I've showed up in motherhood for the past, I don't know, 10 years, is like a certain way, and it was very important to me to show up in that way. One of the things that I've absolutely come to love is walking my kids to school. It was just like the beautiful gift that I didn't know that I needed, and it has brought so much joy to my [00:13:00] life, so much so that I have based my definition o- of success on, do I walk my kids...
Do I get to walk my kids to school? If I do, ~like,~ ooh, that's a successful day. I love that. ~That's, ~that's just part of what I want some of our core memories to be. And now, ~you know, ~as my kids grow and I'm looking at next year, we will end our time at the school we're at. We will start sixth grade and be in another school.
And the walking to school thing, ~you know, ~may come to an end, and it likely will. And so just looking at the story I've told myself about what kind of mother I am based on what my day looks like or what I get to do or how I get to show up, that's been really cool for me to, ~like,~ pick that up and, ~like,~ examine it from all angles.
Kind of like it's a diamond, right? Where it's like I'm picking it up, and I'm looking at it from this [00:14:00] angle and looking at it from this angle and just questioning, like, "Is this still true? What else could be true?" Oh, like, I could live in that, and I will live in that as I go through this season of change.
I'm gonna live in that for a hot minute.
Build Discomfort Capacity
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Audra Dinell: Number three, I think when it comes to change, we have to work on our ability to be uncomfortable So often we're trying to avoid this feeling of dis- discomfort. One of my other saboteurs and a way that I have tried to avoid the feeling of discomfort in the past is just, like, by controlling as much as I could possibly control.
But sometimes a change is coming or a change is needed and you don't know, we don't know exactly what's on the other side, and that is scary and that is uncomfortable and that is uncertain, and man, that is life. [00:15:00] So for me, instead of trying to grasp for control and make all the plans and focus on, ~you know, ~what I want to happen, I'm spending more time in the space of allowing myself to be comfortable with discomfort.
I recently got an emotional agility certification. I've talked about it a lot, and this is one of the things, this is one of the great tools that I now have in my tool belt to help me grow my capacity for discomfort, and I would love, PS, love, would love to dive into that with you if you are a person who is hearing this and saying, "Ooh, yeah, that's me.
I know I need a change, but it's the fear of discomfort that I'm feeling, and I need to learn how to sit into that." I've got a process for you. Book a coaching call. Would love to work with you. For me, [00:16:00] in addition to the emotional agility process, I can have a day where my body feels uncertain and nervous and all the feelings, and I now know how to sort of, like, anchor back in, come back to my center as soon as I get a chance.
Sometimes that's at the end of the night, sometimes that's midday.
Anchor Back To You
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Audra Dinell: I led a panel this week and the point was made that we each kind of need to learn how to do that for ourselves, and it's gonna be different for each of us. Some people will embrace, ~like,~ stillness and space and quiet and meditation.
Others might need movement, whether it be a run, yoga, a hike, just getting outdoors. Others still might need connection with loved ones or fun. So I just wanna leave you with if you are in this [00:17:00] space, figure out for you how to get home. Like, what gets you home to yourself and anchored back in? Because change is life, and if we're prolonging change- ~You know, we're not, ~we're not growing.
We're not maybe reaching our potential. So get comfortable in that discomfort. Figure out how to anchor back to yourself. Examine the stories, even the ones that have been beautiful and helpful to you, and just make sure, truly above all else, that you are being aware of the thoughts of what other people will think so that you are not basing where you choose to stay or go on that.
Final Encouragement
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Audra Dinell: Okay, y'all. I hope you have an excellent week. I hope August gets easier for us all, and I will see you back next week
[00:18:00]