The Grand Parade

Queens opens. Music, floats, skeletal guards holding back the crowd. The cart is set. Food is on the grill. A crystal-headed census construct floats past every stall with a kobold skull flickering behind its face. And somewhere in the audience, a vendor is selling what he says are candies. They hatch spiders.

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

What is Rotgoons - Narrative Declaration?

By the Narrative Declaration TTRPG group: Four adventures try to make it big within the decrepit streets of Outset's Pawn Pilaster. Catch this comedic but grim dark Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG adventure and watch them all suffer!

Hey, Schnorren, can there be a food stand called Disturbed Corn?
Sure.
How many narrative declaration points do we have?
Drowning deep in my pot of corn.
I think that's where we're going to start.
That's where we're going to start.
It's like, can there be a shopping cart of Disturbed Corn?
How much butter do you want on your corn?
Drowning deep.
In my bowl of butter.
In my calories, yeah.
Oh my god.
Hi everyone, welcome to another exciting episode of Rock Goons.
So we can kind of get right into it.
We can kind of quickly go into the entrance and stuff.
People want to very quickly tell people who you are, where you came from, and who you're playing.
Starting off with Minerva.
Oh god.
Hi, I'm Minerva, aka Party Demoness.
I play Gray, the Null Ranger.
Hello.
Thanks, Tobago.
Kabal.
Hello, my name is Kabal.
I'm your favorite purple cult leader.
I come from the Dirty Dirties house.
And I am playing...
To leave Shibura, the Ghost Mages.
Oh, because you're a ghost.
I don't know why it popped in my head.
Okay, so you say Dirty Dirty South, then it links to South, then it links to the random
quote of like, the South will rise again, but you're dead, so you already did.
We did it!
It did!
The South rose again!
Okay, and next...
Twice, actually.
We don't follow that.
Regardless, next up is Froggy.
Hi, I'm Froggy Locke, and I play Betelzabob, the level five kobold investigator.
If you're curious about where I came from...
Level six.
Level six kobold investigator, that's right!
We leveled up.
We leveled up.
Did you not level up, Froggy?
No, I did!
I just, I forgot!
Listen, we've been saying level five for a hot minute.
We have.
Leave me alone!
Also, I came from my mom.
Oh, thanks.
That's great.
I'm salty.
My name is SaltyJub.
I crawled out of a hole in the ground in the ancient days before trees existed.
Allegedly.
I draw funny pictures on the internet.
I play hard.
He's a big lad.
He's level six now, and he's capable of playing basketball.
And you're a monk.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a side thing.
It's a side gig.
I'm a level six basketball player.
Oh, yeah.
No.
If there was such a thing as a sports nerd, Hart would be a jock class.
100%.
Oh, my God.
But, and I am your host, the Game Master this evening.
I am Zoned the Bear.
Thanks, everyone, for coming back and listening to Raccoons.
Remember, we do stream this live on Twitch.tv forward slash Narrative Declaration.
If you want to be part of the show, we're experimenting with some fun little Twitch integration things where you can be part of the show in some way.
So, definitely come stop by.
Come watch and be part of the adventure.
So, everybody, for those of you who last left off, like, I've been at Gen Con.
You know, a bunch of announcements were made.
A bunch of things were happening.
So, we've been on a little break.
So, just a quick refresher, just to keep everybody kind of in tuned with things.
I would like to ask if any of the players would like to take that initiative, but my challenge to you is to summarize it.
Don't take a super long, like, detailed thing.
Just footnotes.
Just, like, easy to read footnotes for it.
So, we're not, so you're not dumping a whole bunch of previous episode exposition on people.
Quick footnotes.
Who would like to take that and earn themselves a hero point?
I can do it.
All right.
Let's hear it.
Let's hear it, Froggy.
Okay.
So, a lot, a lot happened last episode, even though we stayed in a relatively small area for it.
First off, so, we set off.
The goons needed to find Brug to hire him to protect their cart.
So, they go and they track him down.
They find him living in a little dilapidated area.
And we hire him.
Everything's going good.
Brug invites us to meet Talia, his daughter.
And he's like, hey, you want to come and be back here?
And we're all, like, resounding yes.
Oh, my God.
So, we all rush, happy, to his house.
And immediately, something's wrong.
Talia's not there.
So, there's Panic, Talim, and Hart.
They go off and they start looking for suspicious neighbors in Brug's area.
They actually find the old man who used to work for the Tyrant's Guild, who we fucked up when we were sneaking up.
We were sneaking.
Baldrick!
Baldrick!
Hang on.
B-name, thank you.
Terrible with names.
We snuck Bucket Boy Baldrick in.
And this was the guy who was there to, like, assess the checkpoint that day.
So, he's here now.
He's in this old, ragged, Tyrant's Guild tent.
And he's like, ah, fuck!
He looks really suspicious.
He's watching them.
He looks kind of uneasy.
So, Hart and Talim, they go and interrogate the shit out of him.
And he's like, there was this giant, tall, tailed guy, all decrepit and gross.
He went into Brug's house.
And then he left in the sewer.
And that's all I saw.
He's all like, that's all I know.
I don't know nothing else.
Please leave me and my diseases alone.
And meanwhile, Gray was getting Talia sent from some fur that they had found in the home.
We learned that Talia is a catfolk or something like that.
And a cute little orange cabby catfolk.
So, we meet up with Talim and Hart on our way out of Brug's home.
There are some theories that maybe it's Croc, like, you know, a big, talled figure.
A tail was mentioned.
Might be Croc.
Not Hart.
Brug is like, that makes no sense.
Oh, God.
So, Brug, he's like, okay, I'm going to look into it.
I'm going to figure it out.
And we're like, okay, we're going to check out the sewer.
It shouldn't be possible for anything to get in and out of the sewer because it is all barred off when we get there.
But Hart manages to find an entrance by ripping the bars off the sewer, Gray.
So, technically, yes.
Still, there's no secret entrance.
No one should be able to come and go from the sewer pipe.
But, you know, Hart just rips it off.
And I found the entrance.
So, in we go.
We're like, oh, yes.
There was a door right here.
Yeah.
A heart-shaped hole in the wall.
I found it.
It was made for me.
It's pitch black.
It smells awful.
It smells like decay.
It's horrible.
We're met with this creepy black fog, which Talim can immediately tell is magic in nature.
It's very strong.
We tie ourselves together with a rope.
Everybody's freaked out.
And we just push forward in a single file line.
We don't know what to do about the fog.
So, we just try and breathe as little as possible, unless your Hart, in which case, he said it was fine to breathe because he'd been breathing so much of it this entire time.
Um, and then we get separated out of nowhere.
Just out of nowhere.
Hart is gone.
We're freaking out.
The rope is loose where Hart was.
Hart has been completely cut off from the party somewhere in the tubes.
And Talim, Gray, and Beetle progress forward into the tubes, where they meet Lord of the tubes, which is a strange illusion.
The tubes all get all magical and rainbow, and, you know, the Lucky Charms mascot himself appears before us, and he's like, hey, it's the tubes.
I love the tubes.
We live in the tubes.
You should go check out the tubes down there.
And Talim finds out pretty quick that this is an illusion.
Gray as well.
Beetle's in the back.
He's kind of just a processing, but not to the same extent as these two, who just walk through the guy, uh, after breaking his self-awareness by telling him he can't shit.
And he has a mental breakdown over the fact that he cannot shit and disperses into the air.
So we go in the opposite direction to where he was telling us to go, because obviously you don't want to go the way that the illusion is telling you.
We progress down the tubes, and we start to hear this very deep humming.
Tubes open into this kind of pocket area, where this gross, hunched, skeletal, decaying crocodile creature is, like, hunched up in the corner of the room with Talia in his arms.
And we're like, aw, fuck.
Uh, we were stuck here for a hot minute because we weren't sure what to do.
We didn't want Talia to die.
She's so cute.
And it's, it's got its meaty grippers on her.
So, Beetle has an idea.
And, uh, he gets his buddies out of the way of the tube.
He assumes this thing can't see, maybe, because it has no eyes.
It's never stopped skeletons before, as Talia mentioned.
But, uh, you know, he'll take his chances.
So as soon as his friends are out of harm's way, he drums on the pipe and takes off running down it, screaming.
And sure enough, the plan sort of works.
Uh, the crocodile drops Talia and takes off after Beetle, exploding into, like, Princess Mononoke worms or, like, the no-face guy, where he's, like, like, he does that.
Yeah, he goes down the pipe, and he's all like, argh, my son.
And I'm like, I don't know, you're a fucking kid, man.
And he's like, argh, I'm gonna fetch my son.
I'm a worm, I'm a worm.
And, uh, so Beetle's running, uh, Gray and Talib grab Talia, Gray nestles Talia back in her hood, safe in her hair, and they book it.
And there's a chase sequence.
Heart can hear the roaring of this monster and finds his way back to his friends.
And, uh, there is a, uh, something of, like, a conflict where Beetle is shooting and freaking out, and Heart is punching worms, and Gray is biting worms.
And then the worms are all like, argh, my son, my boy.
And he slurps up into a crack, a crevasse, if you will, in the tube, and he's gone.
He's gone.
And, uh, the group is like, oh, fuck me!
And they don't stick around to be like, what was that?
What happened?
They just run, full fight or flight, panic, get out of the tubes, and they do.
They sprint out of the tubes.
Very vivid, thank you.
They put me in a tube.
A rubber tube filled with worms.
Oh, you're like cobalt.
Oh, no, worms!
A tube filled with worms.
They called me crazy once.
No!
But once outside, uh, they, they told the group that the big worm pile that they met was not necessarily, it didn't seem to be obsessed with Talia specifically, but with her collar, or the stone that is on her collar.
So, Brug is like, well, fuck, her mom, uh, Vishna, gave this collar to her to protect her.
But if the collar is attracting dangers like that, maybe we're better off not keeping it here.
And maybe we should go talk to the Elmas about some temporary living quarters, just while things quiet down, because what the fuck was all that?
And the gooners are like, yeah, what the fuck was all that?
We'll take that off your hands.
Well, Talim said that, which I don't know if Beetle agrees with, because now that thing's just going to want to come after us with the rock.
And I, that sounds, you know, Talim was pretty confident, Beetle was unconscious, uh, Gray took the stone from Talim and pocketed it.
To help Suburize, and after all of that, you were able to save the kitten and get yourself a new amulet, which is the amulet of refocusing, which Heart now has.
And then we went to go set up a new cart.
Yeah, and then you guys went back to the cart, you brought Brug with you, and you made your way to the Queen's Pilaster.
Yes!
Yes.
Am I muted for you?
Yes.
Uh, is the vision important to cover?
You should be fine.
Okay.
You should be fine.
There was a vision.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
It's like, I'm about to say Suburizes you, because we only have so much time today.
Yeah, we gotta get going.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
So much happened last session.
Beetle gets a hero point.
Yippee!
Yay!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Hero point acquired!
And so, with everything, with everything said, let us go ahead and get back to the adventure.
Sorry.
What's up?
For some reason, you were muted for me on Discord.
I didn't know.
I don't know why.
You muted me?
I don't think I meant to.
I was like, I see Zoran talking on stream, but I can't hear him.
What the?
That's fucked up.
And then Froggy's responding to him.
I'm like, where's the disconnect?
Game master silenced.
Am I losing it?
Is this how it goes?
That was crazy once.
They stuck me in the Discord.
A rubber Discord.
A Discord filled with mutes.
Nerds.
The nerds make me crazy.
This is gonna age this episode so horribly.
Yeah, something's gonna fucking happen when someone's actually in a rubber room and dies
and is like, ah, fuck.
No!
Don't say that!
You say that that's going to age this episode horribly.
The fact of the matter is that meme has been around since, like, 2002.
Yeah.
It predates, like, the internet as we know it.
Of course.
It's more along the lines.
It's that it comes back in waves.
And this will be allocated to one of the waves.
I trust people understand it was a joke at the time, but not for any horrible thing.
That'll be fine.
No, no, it's stupid.
It's stupid.
We're moving on.
That's where we're moving on.
Yeah, I'm PvPing salty.
I'm not well.
Spellstrike, spellstrike, spellstrike.
So, everyone, you'll be, you finally, all of you goons have finally have achieved your mission
after so long.
For 18 episodes, you guys have acquired all your materials.
You've met so many colorful friends.
Oh, my God.
And you have established a network of friends.
You know, you met up with Holic.
You met up with the Almas.
You're able to acquire all these food stuff.
You're now carting it in the cart.
Heart is pulling it along while everybody is getting stuff ready.
You have assortment of foods.
You have assortments of drinks.
All sorts of stuff.
And you're on your way to the parade.
Now, you know, it's in the Queen's Palastro.
And I changed the map here so you can get a bit of reference.
Everything's labeled now.
You see the Pod's Palastro.
And, of course, you have to go all the way through some of the more major highways.
There's, like, several walkways and stuff that kind of acts as like a highway and stuff.
But you're on your way to the Queen's Palastro.
It's kind of the bottom right of the map there.
And Queen's looks beautiful.
Think of, like, going to, like, a...
The Beanstalk!
We're finally going to the Beanstalk!
Oh, my God!
For 18 episodes, every time we see this map, I ask if we could go to the Beanstalk, and we're finally going!
We're going to the Beanstalk Palastro.
And on your way there, you see it towering there, a spiral of stone and different types of materials kind of going up.
And you see that Queen's is, like...
Is that going to the downtown more into, like, not, like, Red Light District, but, like, classy.
Like, classy, it's beautiful, but, you know, there's various shops, a whole bunch of things around.
It's the Culture District.
It has culture.
Yeah!
Would be a good way to kind of summarize it.
Theaters everywhere.
Yeah, think Jazz Plan, all this other stuff.
Everything's going wonderful.
You're seeing people gather all around, basically, kind of, like, lining up through the streets and stuff.
And you already see some of the parade people kind of getting ready.
You see their floats kind of covered up with tarps and everything.
But you are carting over, and as you look through your paperwork, that the Elmas did give you a permit and everything for you to be able to operate at the parade.
And they tell you where your slot may be.
And maybe after some questioning and stuff, you find your slot, and you find where you want to set up.
So, let me switch us over to here.
Let me guess.
There's somebody already in it.
No!
No!
You arrive, and it is a scene.
Tons of people all around.
There's, like, you see hordes of people already lined up, getting ready for everything.
You're seeing people just kind of going around with their own little food stands, like, wrapped around their neck.
Just go, like, go, like, like, Glizzy's here.
Glizzy's, you can gobble them right up.
Glizzy's here.
Glizzy's, would you like a Glizzy's side?
It comes up to you.
One guy comes up to all of you as you're pulled up.
Like, Glizzy, before you set up, it's always good to have some food in your belly.
Oh!
If Beetle takes it.
Yeah, sure.
That'll be two copper, please.
Ah!
Beetle's already taken a bite out of it, but he slowly starts to hold it, like, back up.
How much meat is in this, bro?
You look at it, it is, like, minor.
It's not a lot of meat, but it's something.
It's more ping goo than meat.
Hey.
Hey, Talim, check it out.
Kebab in a tube.
The guy is just, like, holding him down, and he's like, good to have food in your belly.
And Talim is just, like, looking down at this man, just staring.
Oh, sorry, sir.
Didn't know you already had a diet.
And then he goes over.
He's like, well, anybody else besides your dog here?
And he keeps wiggling the Glizzy.
Oh, I think, I think, I think our dog is, uh, good enough.
Beetle grudgingly takes out two copper and gives them to him.
Oh, your dog's people.
Shy about that.
He takes it to copper, puts it in his bag, and then he leaves.
What a dickhead.
Brog kind of looks down, going, I don't think you're a dog.
Thanks, Brog.
No problem.
Thumbs up.
You're one of a few.
No, you're not a dog.
You're Beetle.
Oh.
And he floats away as if we wouldn't want to eat those dogs.
I gotta help out you guys.
I'll put this in general.
If you type up Medieval Fair, that's the music I'm playing,
because I can't play it through tabletop,
but this will kind of help set the scene.
But, um, you have to type that in there and play it
and change the volume to yourself.
So you guys have now arrived at this grand display.
You're seeing flags all across the buildings in front of you.
Confetti here and there.
It's now starting to fall.
You see an array of basically just skeletal, like, skeletal guards
pretty much the military in outset, um, just kind of, like,
just kind of keeping people at bay that not go into the major street.
That's the front of them.
But they're all, you're seeing everyone just having a grand old time.
But you have your cart here.
And, of course, I would like to ask you all,
how would you like to set up your cart?
Now, it kind of puts you in a position here where, um,
you can get yourselves ready.
You can kind of orient your thing in a way.
And you also have time to also see who your competition is.
You notice that there are other people set up along the road,
um, that have seemed to have already gotten themselves mostly set up.
They still seem, some of them still seem to be in the process of doing so.
But you see a couple people around you.
Yeah, we notice a, do we notice a familiar face to our left?
Uh, you do not.
We don't?
No, you don't.
Okay, okay, okay.
Because you don't see that person yet.
Oh, okay, okay, of course.
No, of course.
Well, where should we set up?
I'll start bringing all the banners around and driving them.
Yeah, do we want to put it right, right here?
It's in the middle of a walkway.
But that, Beetle steps out and leans looking around.
That guy's got his freaking wagon over there.
That guy's got a little wagon over there.
So it's probably fine if we just block this area.
Who's going to be mad?
They're probably not mad about him putting it his way.
We'll just put it here.
Yeah, we can pull it up.
Block up his whole area.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds good.
And we can hang the ribbons and stuff from the rooftops like that
and just pull them down.
Whoop!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Like, uh...
Brog kind of, like, he starts kind of, like, helping hard,
kind of adjust the cart and stuff.
And he looks at Talim going, like,
um, I heard you're good with money.
Um, who should I go for to figure out where to put stuff?
Uh, Talim, as he's, uh, looking through the crowd,
he turns around the Brog and, uh,
wait, when he says put stuff,
is he, like, motioning to, like, all the...
Like, like, the cart.
Yeah, like, how do you...
Like, how to set up the cart and stuff.
Like, he's nodding at Beetle and he kind of is, like,
okay, okay, I'll help...
I'll help move it here and stuff with Hart.
You know, and he...
And I assume, Hart, you're, like, trying to adjust it
where Beetle's, like, a little to the left,
a little to the right.
Yeah, pretty much.
Okay.
Uh, so Talim is just, like,
more than likely, we're going to want to move
the majority of the supplies out of the cart
and put it behind it as opposed to where
we're going to have customers
because we're going to need room to operate.
So if you, if we, once we have the cart adjusted,
we should be able to then determine
where everything is going to go.
So Beetle is going to suggest
that they have one side of the cart here
and the other side of the cart here.
So it's, it's, like, up in the road,
it's not pushed back in the alley.
Kind of sideways as well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, like, flipped sideways.
All right. So it runs you all over
as I'm adjusting it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Ta-da.
Well, I don't need to run over.
Almost perfect. There we go. Perfect.
Yes, yes, yes.
You can move your tokens appropriately
if you want to be over the cart.
Um, here, let me just make this easier
on all of us here.
Let me put you, put, like, one
on your height thing so you'll be over.
Oh, yippee!
You'll be over the cart if you want to go over it.
And so you're gonna look like
you're inside the cart, like a,
it's like a food truck.
There we go.
That's, uh, I didn't do it.
Can I do it?
There we go. One.
One.
One.
One!
One!
There we go.
There's one thing now.
There we go.
That's shit.
One!
I put the one
on the token!
Are there lines on the floor?
There are lines!
The floor!
Sorry, for people who don't know
what that means,
the Final Fantasy 14-bit
and then we evolved it.
Yup.
So, so with that,
you, you got your cart set up.
Uh, you guys are preparing things
and stuff.
Um,
I'm now gonna ask each person
exactly what they're doing
and try to see
kind of like how you,
your success,
basically,
of setting up your cart
for,
uh,
for all these people.
Yeah.
Um,
so I'm gonna start out
first off with Heart.
Heart,
uh,
you've helped maneuver
the cart into place
and now you're just
kind of standing there.
Uh,
what do you think,
uh,
what would you like to be doing?
Setting up your cart?
Well,
since most of the food
that we have done
is already prepared
and then we just
start things up
and start serving it,
uh,
and, you know,
assembling things,
uh,
in that way,
most of the things
that we only need to do
is fry meat
and,
uh,
fry vegetables
and that's all
we really need to do.
Uh,
Heart,
what Heart is going to do
is that he's gonna flex
his most recently
acquired skill.
Heart
is gonna write the menu.
Oh,
yeah.
Nice.
Uh,
Heart learned
how to read and write,
didn't he?
Yeah.
Beetle taught him.
Beetle taught Heart
how to read and write
and in an official manner,
Heart has
the scribe lore.
So not only
is he good
at reading and writing,
he is really good
at reading and writing.
I'm so proud of him.
I'm so proud of my boy.
as you're seeing,
uh,
so Heart,
as you're doing that,
go ahead and roll me
a crafting check for me.
See how well your lessons
have done you.
Can I roll
lore scribe?
Yes,
because it's cool.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much,
good head.
As you're doing that,
you guys are starting
noticing, like,
these kind of sparkly bits
of,
kind of like confetti
start coming down.
You know,
it starts to,
it's kind of like,
like plastic snow
in a way.
Oh no.
Oh my god.
I rolled that two
for a total of eight.
Can I read and write,
Surin?
Uh,
you have successfully
made words
that you're confident in.
Yeah.
So.
As I see it start,
as I see that stuff
start to fall,
Cleen will actually
whip around the cart
and he will point at Beetle
and he'll be like,
Beetle.
What?
Don't eat
the confetti.
What?
I'm not gonna eat this?
What do you think I am?
Hey,
heart.
He like narrows his eyes
and he like,
sculpts back behind the,
back behind the cart,
like the finger
is still pointing at Beetle.
Look,
you can hear like,
gray in the distance.
And he points the finger back around.
When Beetle says,
hey,
heart,
heart goes,
huh?
His mouth is full of confetti.
You just hear like,
gray in the distance go,
look over at heart
and heart's just got
the mouth full of confetti.
Heart's just like,
don't eat that.
That's not snow.
Take that out of your mouth.
Hey,
I'm gonna come over
and help you with that side,
buddy.
That sea's a little crooked
and then he comes over.
Oh,
thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah,
Beetle is so small
that I would actually like
to use my turn
or action
or whatever you would call it,
uh,
working on the cart
in order to help heart
because he can't help
too much with the,
heavy set up.
Yeah.
Ah,
the sea faces
that way.
Yeah.
Not the other way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It reminds me
of like an image,
like a,
like a post
where somebody typed
like,
like pee
and they're like,
how do you flip
the D like that?
Oh my God.
That's not on brand.
And they were so confused.
That's what Beetle does.
Beetle makes them
flip the Ds.
Okay.
So,
so you help out
heart there.
Uh,
Gray,
you have all these
people around you,
the other cart
setting up
and of course
your cart.
Is there anything
you're doing?
Um,
question.
Would we have a,
we,
uh,
Salty just stated
that we do have
some food prepared
ahead of time.
Would we have enough
for possibly,
uh,
enticing people
with a small sample
platter
to like stand outside
and like try and like,
you know,
bring people over
and,
you know,
possibly use that
as an excuse
to go check out
the other carts
at the same time?
Yeah,
sure.
Heck yeah.
Heck yeah.
Cause like,
that's definitely
what she would do.
See if,
uh,
anyone has any
possible,
um,
things that could,
uh,
get a leg up on them
and vice versa.
Yeah,
go snoop.
Okay,
so you basically get
like hors d'oeuvres
and stuff
or like little
tester pieces ready.
Um,
for the presentation
of them,
roll me a crafting check
unless you want to
ask someone else to,
unless you want to
ask someone else to do it
who also has a higher
crafting check.
You know what?
She's going to actually
look at the plate
and go to Talim
and ask,
does this look good?
She's going to go up there
and she's going to
just hold it up like,
is this possible?
Does this look good?
Talim pulls out
two pieces of bread
and puts them
on each side of
Frey's face.
And he shakes his head.
I'm not asking you
to eat them.
I'm asking if it
looks good.
Does it look presentable?
Um,
he was,
he looks at it
and he's like,
it could be better.
Give me one moment
and he will actually,
um,
uh,
he will actually,
uh,
try and,
uh,
use his crafting
to dress it up,
make it more presentable,
make it look more enticing.
I don't know,
maybe sprinkle some,
like parsley or something.
Absolutely.
Salt bay it.
Yeah,
go and roll me crafting.
Does it look like
little,
like,
little,
little triangle
sandwiches?
Like,
what,
what,
what little food item
did you guys make?
Oh my god,
what the fuck was that?
I'm so sorry.
What food item did you make,
Vine Boom?
I'm so sorry.
My chapstick fell on the button
that makes that noise.
I rolled a two,
but that's still a 16.
Do you wanna use a hero point for that?
Or are you content?
I...
I can use a hero point.
Yeah,
baby.
All right.
I still got one in reserve.
Yeah,
still got one left.
That is significantly better.
That is a 12
or a total of a 26.
You can make little,
like,
fried things.
What,
what do you make,
Talim?
What do you,
what do you make
or how do you dress it up?
Talim is going to,
well,
I assume like our big thing
that we're doing
is like kebabs.
So,
maybe these are like,
little,
like,
mini kebabs
or like a piece of,
like said,
kebabs
and all like toothpicks
or stuff like that.
But,
Talim will actually
try and
take some,
other edible things
and stack them
so they actually
look like,
what's the,
oh God,
what are those?
Okay.
Yeah.
So,
you know,
Aladdin,
right?
You know,
like the royal palace,
you know,
how they've got like
the domes on top.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He'll actually try
and make it like
look like that,
you know,
like,
you know,
like kind of like
more guanxier architecture.
Yeah.
It's an onion dome.
Yeah.
An onion dome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Make it look like
an onion dome.
Make it festive.
Yeah.
Put some colorful pieces
on the plate.
Yeah.
Put it on a pile of fries.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Everyone gets to try the fries.
Grey kind of just looks at it
and she's like,
thank you.
I don't know what I would do
without you.
And she just walks away
with the platter hand
as she goes to check out carts.
Does anybody else
want to go with Grey
to go look at,
talk to other people or?
Uh,
if her-
You all can go as a group.
Brog kind of comes to everyone
saying,
if you all need to go
scope out the competition,
I'll look over the cart.
Thanks you, Brog.
Thanks, Brog.
He gives a thumbs up.
We appreciate you.
Do we want to-
Do we want to split?
Leave everyone else to do that
while he preps, like,
cooktops and spices
and everything like that.
Oh, yeah.
Warm up that coffee pot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do we want to split?
Do we want to split into two groups?
Two people walk around
and do the thingy
and two people stay here
and prepare food?
I'm fine with that.
Yeah, I'm also fine with that.
You two are really good
at finding details and things.
looks over at Gray and Beetle.
You two should be the ones
going out there,
especially since you
points at Gray
with a big smile.
You are the host.
I, what?
I, what?
Huh?
I'm Fisty
in the cart
making food.
I'm the one
that can dip my hands
into the fryer.
and Talim is the guy
that knows the spices stuff
and Beetle's the one
that's going to do
the commercial
and Brog is the security.
That means that you,
he stares at Gray,
puts a hand on her shoulder
and, like,
puts all his weighted momentum
in his eyes,
just staring into hers
and he goes,
you need to be the host.
She is crumpling on the spot.
She is crumpling.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, that's right.
Oh, let's go.
I need to find a good,
thick, meaty piece of grass anyway.
Oh, okay.
You lead the way.
I'll follow behind you.
I've got the plate.
Yippee!
He hops down from the cart
and, uh,
he's gonna,
he's gonna start
shuffling this way.
Not because of
out-of-character decisions
or out-of-character watts
or anything like that.
It was just closer.
Yeah, you're not,
you're not metagaming.
That's fine.
It's not metagaming.
It's just closer
to where he was standing.
You two go ahead
and move yourselves,
uh,
to the cart you want to do.
Heart and Talim,
where do you two want to go?
Heart turns around.
He stares super seriously
at Talim
after wave,
smiling and waving off
Gray and Beetle.
He turns around,
super serious.
He puts his hair up
into a bun.
He puts on his apron.
He stares at Talim
and goes,
it's time.
And he says it
in the Quan Shiri tongue.
He goes,
it is time.
Talim, like,
looks at the cart.
He looks,
he looks back
at Heart.
He's like,
you're damn right.
And he,
he holds out a hand.
He,
he holds out a hand
waiting for Talim
to re,
to return
a cool handshake.
I actually,
hold on,
wait,
I got,
I got a thing for this.
I got a thing.
No,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no.
I have to,
does it,
does it work?
Does it work?
Does it work?
Talim shakes
Heart's hand.
Yeah.
The ghost
and the heart
combined.
So,
I can now
physically interact
with things
through athletic checks
because I have
taken the level
six feet
ghostly grass.
Oh!
Talim can now
officially be called
a poltergeist
as he can possess
objects.
Oh my God.
Excellent.
I can hug
the boy?
18 episodes.
It has taken me
to get to the point
where I can
touch things
without the assistance
of Mage Hand.
Finally.
So,
for you two,
go ahead
and move your token
where you guys
want to be.
Heck yeah.
Like,
which cart
you want to investigate?
So,
there's three carts.
Obviously,
Beetle and Gray
are heading over
to one.
It seems like
to be
a kind of
youngest guy
and he seems
to be wearing
a burlap sack.
Kind of like
robe type of deal
and he also has
a hood
slash
kind of
pointy hat
wizard hat
type of combo
which is also
made of a burlap sack
and you see
he has an array
of potatoes
in front of him.
You see that
there is an elf
who is in
very fine dress
and very
like
bit of jewelry
here and there.
You know,
he's wearing makeup
and things like that
and he
very
just gorgeous
looking outfit
he's basically wearing
and he seems
to be presiding
over bottles
and glasses
and things like that
far to the left
but over to the right
you see that there's
a cute little rat folk
person
just kind of like
with his
little like
nubby hands
and just kind of like
adjusting all these
little bits
and pieces
and all these
little knickknacks
that this little guy
has
over to the right.
So,
which one would
you guys like to go?
You can either
join up with your friends
to the middle cart
and see all what's
happening there
and do it one at a time
or you can split up
and we can
try to diversify
each encounter
and with the other
cards
which one would
like to do?
Art, Talim?
Yeah.
We are
if anything
after doing this
like cool handshake
and Talim
wanted to
stay at the cart
I assume
that
Heart and Talim
will
indeed
start to at least
prepare a few things
set up things
like lighting the fire
underneath the cauldron
within the cart
and similar things
but
what is it
essentially
a pan full of
sand
and getting
coffee
things ready.
Yeah.
Okay,
so they're not going to
Yeah,
I need to know
are you leaving
or are you already
going at the cart?
No, we are preparing
Okay, you're just
prepping the cart
Okay, so you're just
prepping the cart
and stuff
so I'll now
change the scene
over the beetle and grey
you arrive
at this fellow
Sorry about that
I was kind of like
did you want to
split up and talk
to people
because you have time
because Brad was
giving you time
to talk to folks
but it's okay
so beetle and grey
you go to this
fellow
as I described
he's wearing a
burlack sap robe
and kind of wizard
hat type of deal
he has hair
just kind of
covering his face
and stuff
but he seems sad
he's frowning
the entire time
he's just kind of
putting potatoes
around potatoes
it's just
nothing but potatoes
you know
he also has
like an iron cauldron
to the side
and stuff
and he's kind of
filling it up
with some liquid
and things
and he also has
some knives
and a cutting board
sort of deal
and he's just
kind of
like
and he kind of
looks up
and he goes
hi
how can I help you
howdy neighbor
we're set up
over there
nice teats
oh
I like your hat
oh
thanks
I
hi neighbor
my name's
Greg
um
yeah
I just sell
potatoes
wow
I love potatoes
I don't
angirama potato
uh oh
oh
why are you
why would you
sell them then
well
if
well my master
you know
he was teaching me magic
but
it's
the only thing
only magic I can do
is summon potatoes
see
and he blifts up a hand
and he summons a potato
and he puts it
back down
on the pile
and goes
I'm not a real wizard
so he yelled at me
and said to come here
to be useful
for once
so
I mean you'll never
go hungry
yeah not a real wizard
you just
you solved world hunger
with your hands
your bare hands
and nothing else
yeah but
it's not as cool
as being an actual wizard
okay well
uh have a good
trauma dump
we're gonna go
over here now
okay bye
gray will kind
gray will just like
give him a small
piece of the samplers
here you go
here you go kid
he eats it
and no joy
appears on his face
she kind of awkwardly
sidesteps away
she's just like
um
um
if I can
the beetle
wait up
if I can spot potatoes
I would cure world hunger
what a lousy guy
if at any point in time
like Talim caught wind
of this man
can just summon potatoes
he's just death grippy
the coward he's like
you have
you can make so much money
you have
you have
that's the reason
why Talim
couldn't join
these two
the story
implication
I quit being an adventurer
I just
employ this guy
in form of
potato empire
Talim
roll me a perception check
oh no
no
roll me a perception check
I saw
I almost saw that
20 wink at me
uh
you see
this
poor
poor potato man
sir
come up
and he
at the little sign
puts it down
and he says
potato man sir
selling potatoes
two copper each
like infinite potatoes
at the bottom of it
and it's in plain view
of you
and
just
just to emphasize it
uh
heart is
like
uh
just preparing
to
uh
start
just
tearing
through
potatoes
peeling
them
with his
bare
hands
looking
over
at
Talim
do you think
we have
enough
potatoes
it's like
Talim
like
kind of
looks out
he looks
over the
infinite
potatoes
I
assume
he sees
this guy
summon a
freaking
potato
out of
nowhere
yeah
he's
just
he's
just
stalking
up
his
stuff
he like
looks
away
and
then
suddenly
he's
like
suddenly
jerks
his head
back
and
it's
just
like
huh
potatoes
do you think
we have
enough
like
an
entire
bag
of
like
you
know
goes
for
quite
a lot
these
days
you
know
these
tubers
can
be
shoved
into
the
ground
and
they
you
know
they
make
more
of
themselves
that's
crazy
right
Talim
was
just
like
this
crazy
if only
there were
some way
to make
even more
of them
from nowhere
give
you know
what
heart
do you
think
you could
perhaps
watch the
cart
for a
second
no
I'm
I think
that we
should keep
ourselves
in groups
of two
I
I
I need
I need
to do
something
alright
well
leave it
it's
gonna
set
what
he
was
doing
to
the
side
he's
gonna
start
to
drift
over
to
the
potato
man
sir
we
can
engage
in
that
this
course
at any
point in time
that you
want
brog comes into the car
and taps
hard saying
I'll help
take over
take over
you might want to
stick with
Talim
you don't want
anybody to
pickpocket
him
especially since
you won't
fail it
since he's
you know
transparent
he snaps
his fingers
double finger
guns towards
uh
uh
brog and goes
I knew
what could
count on
you
and he
he follows
Talim
good so
gonna move
your guys
beetle and
gray
before you're
about to
leave you
see the
the potato
mancer put
up the
sign and
stuff and
you see
Talim and
heart now
enter into
the cart
and you
see greg
uh
kind of
look up
and go
oh
hi
do you
want a
potato
beetle gives
Talim and
heart a
weird look
like a
what are you
doing
kind of
look like
oh
are you
guys
coming
just a
you know
arm out
head kind
of extended
squinty eyed
heart shrugs
great
just kind of
like shrugs
back
her head's
tilted
like you
know
when a
dog's
like
processing
like
when you
tell them
something
they're just
like
tilting their
head back
and forth
she's just
like
what
what
hi
yeah
potatoes
they're
pretty good
when they're
fried
Talim was
actually
leaning over
the potatoes
and he's
like
looking at
them
like
he's
like
poking
at them
he's
you know
he looks
very
interested
yeah
in the
potatoes
and he
kind of
like
looks up
at the
guy
and then
looks
back
down
at the
potatoes
and he
seems
he seems
very
he would
look like
he was
concerned
if it
wasn't
just
just
like
so
intensely
staring
at
the
potato
you
see
this
kid
you
see
this
kid
he's
kind of
leans
over
he's
like
do
you
want
one
he looks
up
and he's
like
potato
man
sir
yeah
is
what
you
call
yourself
I
don't
like
it
you
would
call it
root
worker
sounds
cooler
you
can
produce
these
yeah
like
this
and you
see him
bring his
hand up
and
just
a
potato
just
conjures
right up
and he
puts
another
one
on the
pile
damn
do you
just
make
those
or do
you
like
steal
them
from
somewhere
I
make
them
Talim
like
does
the
thing
where
like
stands
up
straight
and
he
like
dusts
himself
off
like
he's
trying
to
get
sand
off
his
robes
and
he
like
calmly
places
his
hands
behind
his
back
and
he's
just
like
I
see
that
you're
a
fellow
practitioner
of magic
how
are you
able
to do
this
I
I just
learned
how to
do
the
make
a
potato
spell
and
that's
all
I
can do
I
can't
I
can't
do
any
other
magic
except
for
you
know
I
can
make
water
go
and
that's
it
what
is
what
is
he
takes
he
takes
a cup
of
like
a
like
a
cup
of
water
and
wiggles
his
fingers
and
starts
bubbling
and stuff
and he
puts it
back
down
it's called
boiling
buddy
yeah
whatever
you can
solve
world
hunger
with this
damn it
like
holding out
a hand
the beetle
and he's
just like
just one
finger
he's
just like
he's
like
you
can
this
summoning
of a
potato
spell
this
is
a
cantrip
to you
yeah
are
you
so you
can
perform
this
ad
nauseam
yeah
do the
potatoes
disappear
no
they stay
here
forever
here
look
and he
kind of
goes
another
potato
and he
hands you
one
to lean
eyes
go
wide
like
his hands
are behind
his back
but you
see
you see
them
just
clench
into fists
and he's
like
tell me
what do you
do with all
of these
potatoes
that's
selling for
two
copper
each
do they
taste
weird
i don't
know
i don't
like
potatoes
yeah
what do
i need
to roll
to know
the current
market
price
for
potatoes
oh my
god
to understand
you have
anything
that's a
mercantile
lore
or anything
or
i have
underworld
lore
so
i don't
think
there's
a huge
underworld
market
of
potatoes
society
society
would be
the best
thing in
this case
or
you could
try
it's
different
dc values
for different
one of these
you could
try
you could
try
um
i'll give
you three
options
or give
other
who also
want to
do roles
if people
want to
do a
nature
check
and inspect
the potatoes
you'll see
how genuine
and real
they are
like what
are these
nutritious
like this
is a good
potato
or not
um
arcane
or arcane
or whatever
if you
want to
be like
like
what's
the magical
aspects
of this
it's like
is this
this crate
food
but just
on super
drugs
or
society
to be
like
how much
would
potatoes
be going
for in
the city
how much
of a
conglomerate
can you
make
with
potatoes
you know
can i
roll
society
first
and then
arcana
afterwards
to determine
uh
the magic
behind it
sure
if you
want to
roleplay
through it
absolutely
but i'll
also encourage
anybody else
who wants
to make
a role
rather than
gain some
knowledge
i want
to put
my snoot
on one
of those
potatoes
okay
uh
i assume
you're gonna
do a nature
yes
nature check
okay
uh beetle
and heart
would you guys
like to do
any roles
or
or look
at all
or just
see what
happens
beetle
looks at
his hand
and he
starts
calculating
if you
fed
one person
three potatoes
every day
how many
potatoes
it would
take
to feed
the entire
city
and he
he starts
counting that
on his
fingers
but he runs
out of fingers
really quick
so he starts
to panic
he reeled
out after
six
heart
wants to
more or less
just go
with the
logic of
if this guy
can make
uh potatoes
and he starts
like peeling
a potato
he just picks
up one
starts peeling
it with his
thumb
as he just
scrapes
away the
peel
and like
just wants
to check
is this
a good
potato
or is it
like an
average
potato
whatever
nature check
would be it
so
yeah
cooking's fine
cooking's fine
my bad
yeah
uh
all of you
go and make
me your rolls
yeah okay
roll my society
for the current
market price
of potatoes
oh
I put my suit
on that
so good
I got a
nat 20
shove it up
her nose
market price
of potatoes
and outside
and heart
got a 25
on cooking
of what
is the
quality
of these
potatoes
excellent
so for
hearts
in gray
gray with
your natural
um
you'll get
this formation
but heart
you almost
get to the
full thing
but you both
come to the
same conclusion
that these
are great
potatoes
I mean
not like
the bestest
quality in the
world
I'm pretty
sure if the
kid put
in a lot
more effort
into it
he can make
the pretty
damn good
potatoes
you know
um
or different
types
maybe
you know
from what
you're seeing
here
there's different
variety
of potatoes
there
um
and gray
you notice
that
where there's
like
holy shit
this kid's
got some
good ass
potatoes
you know
these are
amazing
you know
and they're
different sizes
but they're
pretty hefty
potatoes
you know
um
like huge
ones
like this
kid can do
a lot
with just
you can just
do a lot
with just
one of them
you know
partly
partly
is over
to Talim
when he finds
this out
and goes
did you know
that you can
make alcohol
out of potatoes
and with that
information
Talim
with your
society check
of a 23
um
you have
I'll leave you
with all the
conclusions
you could make
there's a market
here
there's a market
here that you
could very much
exploit with this
kid if he's
willing to be a
potato mancer
all his life
um
but you're
but you're
thinking of
like the
actual money
value and
stuff of
like what
you may
have known
and heard
right
just to
kind of
uh
you're
thinking
like this
kid's
kind of
selling it
on the
cheap
side
he has
no
confidence
on his
potatoes
you could
probably
uh
you could
probably
up it
buy a couple
more copper
probably like
seven or
ten
if you really
want to
stretch it
but this
kid's
woefully
underselling
these
potatoes
like to
leave is
just like
sitting there
and he's
like you
can see
you can
hear like
the mental
abacus
clicking
back and
forth
almost
and he
is just
like
and like
when heart
leans over
it's like
you know
like you
can make
alcohol
of these
and like
he was
just like
that's a
good quality
potato
and it's
like more
mental
abacus
clicking
and like
his glowing
eyes are
like darting
back and
forth
he's like
and uh
can I
now um
do like
an arcana
check to
like uh
try and
I guess
figure out
the
the concept
and like
the magic
behind this
like the
the quality
and the
permanence
because like
I'm gonna
to be honest
you know
if Jolene
can figure
it out
himself
you know
he'll be
a potato
mansa
for the
rest of
his
own life
absolutely
make me
a check
all right
I got a
plus 12
an arcana
roll that
and I
got a
12 for
a total
of 24
you
you could
tell that
as far as
this kid
said he's
learned it
um
whatever
this spell
is
is
rare
no one
else you
feel should
know
that
has knowledge
of this
type of
spell
you know
wizards
could just
conjure
food
and stuff
and just
be pretty
happy once
they learned
that spell
like sure
it goes
away but
they're able
to gain
energy from
it from
magical ways
all this
other stuff
you know
there's
whole logic
to it
it's not the best
food in the
world
it's like
replicator food
on Star Trek
or something
it typically
comes back
like every
10 minutes
you can
make one
yeah
or something
like that
it's not
the best
thing
but this
kid has
somehow
acquired a
way and
you suspect
this is more
innate
this kid
has actually
had the
ability
to
to
to do this
all his
life
it's just
unfortunately
every other
spell that he
tries to cast
turns into
this spell
you don't
you're not 100%
sure if it's a
curse
or a blessing
depending on
the perspective
this kid
cannot cast
other spells
only on rare
other occasions
that he casts
another spell
but he can
use
magic
yeah
he can
he can
every time he
casts something
else it turns
into this spell
basically there's
like a you
could you
could tell
for when he
did the
water thing
he can
maybe do
something else
but it's
very limited
like he is
super
restricted
but for the
potatoes for
the magical
stuff it
turns into
an actual
potato
this kid
has learned
to turn
magic to
just matter
like matter
like that
stays
forever
until it
rots
it's just
as if he's
a potato
god
in your
eyes
so
with that
knowledge
Taleem
uh
he like
unfolds his
hands from
his back
and he
uh
will
uh
mage hand
one of the
potatoes up
and
uh
he will
like have it
spin
in front of
the kid
and he's
like
you know
you asked
me if
I was
interested
in potatoes
if I wanted
them
yeah
I would
say
yes
but there
is
something
more
that I
want
and I'm
wondering
if you
are a
man of
business
he kind
of looks
down at
potatoes
looks up
at you
looks at
his burlap
robe
and burlap
wizard hat
and he
kind of
goes
not
really
clean
like
or like
foe
put his
hands on
the counter
and like
lean in
and puts
like
you know
the rings
and like
the bangles
and everything
he like
wears on
display
like
he's
he's
merchant
flaunting
at this
point
yeah
and um
and he
was like
how would
you like
to be
roll me
diplomacy
oh my
god
i have
i have a
plus
eight
for a
total
of
eighteen
you okay
with that
i
hate when
you say
that
you have
one point
left
that is
average
that is
the law
of averages
yeah
plus
eight
and you
only rolled
a
ten
on the
die
50-50
are you
gambling
you want
to gamble
some
gamble
gamble
get some
gamble emotes
and chant
get some
gambling
uh
you
know
yeah
yeah
all right
go big
or go
broke
let's see
what you
roll
i don't
like be
broke
come on
yes
that's a
15 for a
total of a
23 on
diplomacy
actually he
kind of looks
down he goes
i don't know
i seem
dangerous
oh no
so
talim will
actually like
put his hands
out in a
generous manner
he's like
tell me my
friend
what do you
think of
magic
well
it's always
been my
dream to
be a
well
established
and accomplished
wizard
you know
it's been my
dream to
learn spells
and you
know
be a
wizard
but now
i only
cast
potato
he just
kind of
makes it
another one
puts it
back in
the pile
fell
fell
up his
little
stall
talim
like
starts
like
spin
a
tale
and he's
like
let me
ask you
something
the great
mages
of our
time
of our
world
yeah
epic
heroes
that have
carved
themselves
into
forever
our
history
all of
them
have
power
whether it
is power
through magic
power
through what
was once
the will
of the
gods
power
of their
own
body
or the
power
of their
minds
what if i
told you
there was
one power
not there
that could
gain you
all of
these
that could
gain you
any spell
you wanted
that could
gain you
the ability
to do
whatever
your heart
desires
what do you
think that
power is
my friend
looks down
not this
and
taleem is
that's when
he stops
spinning the
potato in
front of
him
and he's
like
that
is where
you're
wrong
the power
that i
speak of
is the
power
of money
money
can buy
anything
in this
world that
the gods
have
forsaken
money
is the
ultimate
existence
it can
purchase you
anything
everything has
a price
even the
magic you
so crave
and i will
make you a
deal now
that i don't
think you
will ever
have in your
lifetime again
work with
me
lend me
your
glorious
power
and i will
make you
money
and you
will have
the magic
that you
so desire
roll me
diplomacy
one last
one
this is
this is
influential
points
you're going
up different
tiers
it's a
system
the game
mastery
guide
i rolled a
17 in
total
it's okay
because he's
liked what you
said before
and he kind
of nods
and goes
yeah
it does make
a lot of
sense
doesn't
it go
in this
world
that the
gods
have
abandoned
where people
have been
left
yeah
people are
hungry
yeah
my parents
also abandoned
me too
same feeling
oh
okay
all right
floaty weird
man
my name's
greg and
he puts
out a
hand
and uh
we will
go to
uh
put out
a hand
uh
to shake
it and
he's like
belim
shabura
he tries to
dump the
potato man
he tries to
grab his
boom
boom
oh
wait wait
wait wait
wait wait
wait
yeah
roll the
athletics
roll the
athletics
i got it
i got it
yippee
he shakes
to leem's
hand
he shakes
your hands
and stuff
and um
and goes like
well i live
um
oh my master
and stuff
and he lets
me sleep
underneath the
stairs
um
if if you
come out
and call
like a bird
i could come
out and
come meet
you
we live
in the
in the
prince's
plaster
master
master
dude
if you
if anything
this guy
a heart
try like
just puts
an arm
around
to leem
and points
at him
he doesn't
touch him
because he's
a ghost
yeah
and he
points
at
talim
this
is a
master
wizard
have you
seen this
guy
he waves
his hand
through
talim's
head
this guy
got himself
back from
the dead
not once
not twice
three times
in the matter
of time
that i met
this guy
do you
even know
this man's
real name
no one
does
this man
has bought
his way
from the
dead
into the
realm
of the
living
and you
know
what
he brings
to you
he brings
you
opportunity
and you
think
about
your
master
you should
be thinking
about
yourself
dude
oh
yeah
what
do you
well
if you're
gonna be
my new
master
do you
have
anywhere
for me
to stay
in fact
i do
know
of a
little
residence
that
would be
very
very
happy
to possibly
have your
services
oh yeah
they would
scream
and cream
if you know
what i'm saying
let's not say
that
i was not
talking about
the alvas
like that
they would
they would
scream
and then
they would
make you
a nice
potato
cream
nice
potato
cream
yeah
sure
anyway
i assume
you guys
arrange
and tell
him where
elma's
is
and all
that other
stuff
and
buy out
his stock
of potatoes
you want to
buy all
his potatoes
or just
buy him
how much
is all
his potatoes
hey
chat
give me
a number
between
uh
and 500
that's
so many
potatoes
right
but it's
two copper
each
so
i like
how i said
or 500
they don't
fall in
charges
all right
we're gonna go
with 380
potatoes
so 380
potatoes
times
two
is
so that
divided
by
i think
like
i think
it's like
i think
it's
copper
for one
silver
i think
i can't
remember
the conversion
whatever
copper
so we'll
just do
that math
later
copper
for all
of it
um
what is it
chat
left the top
of my head
sorry i should
remember
this at the top
of my head
but i can't
fucking remember
for some reason
the conversion
for copper
silver gold
is by 10
or by 100
i think
it's by 100
that should be
is it 400
or is it 10
it's like
should be
7 gold
6 silver
thank you
maddie
7 gold
6 silver
yeah
yeah
i would
tellim
old
give him
8 gold
oh
yeah
yeah
yeah
he looks at
it all
he looks at
it all
and he goes
wow
i never thought
i would
see this much
money at once
tellim like
puts his hand
over the gold
as he puts
it in greg's
hand
and he's like
my friend
stay with me
and this is
just this
dark
it's like
okay well
because you
bought it
all i guess
i'll close up
shop but
i'll just
keep making
more if
you need
more during
the event
heart
puts down
thank you
i'll just get
ready to deliver
some of this
gold to my
master and
then i'll
i'll leave
and guess
i'll go to
the alma's
place
i think
he deserves
maybe like
yeah
silver for
your effort
yeah
heart
puts one
he's been
all right
to you so
far
but
he hasn't
realized
your real
potential
i'm gonna
piss off a
great wizard
i swear
it's over
one gold
and go
and goes
if you
be a great
wizard
i'm gonna
buy his
fucking tower
with this
kid and
his
potatoes
i'm gonna
make him
live out
of his
own
fucking
robe
oh my
god
i'll
popper him
i'll become
the potato
king of
outset
art slides
over one
piece of
gold
if you put
all of
these
potatoes
behind that
cart right
over here
and you
just say
call
brog
that's the
man next
to the
cart
and you
said that
heart
and
talim
and beetle
and gray
sent you
um
you
you
earned
this
gold
coin
as
well
heart
you're
bleeding
i am
dying
so
so
it's all right
like
greg kind of
nods
goes
pog
and then
he starts
doing that
he starts
transferring
all the
potatoes
over
and
he's like
pog
he goes
to lose
all potatoes
like
talim
like
looks at
heart
and like
beetle
and gray
and says
like
what is
pog
i don't
know
i am
no
i don't
know
kids say
weird shit
i'm going
i'm going
over this
way now
yeah we're
going to see
the pretty
lady over
here
lady
so you
guys you
guys continue
down
you guys
continue down
and you
see that
there's
this elven
uh
this elven
basically
bartender
really
over on the
left side
of the stall
here he's
saying he
seems to be
a very
uh
very elaborate
display like
kind of
bar setting
area that
he has
um
he seems
to be
just very
delicately
cleaning up
wine glasses
to have like
these beautiful
embroideries to
them
um
he sees
you all
and he goes
oh
welcome to
fevelon's
delights
uh
would you
like to
partake
and eat
wine
maybe some
very particular
ale
any
any lemonade
even to
freshen up
your parade
experience
i do
like
lemonade
lemmings
oh we
were simply
going around
and offering
samples
uh however
i will
i will
keep an eye
on your
lemonade
samples
uh
from where
they look
and he looks
at him
he's like
uh
pull
what
great
just kind
of
stares
i pick
up
a rock
the only way
that could have
been more
hard
it's like
i pick up
one of his
employees
i'm gonna
beat a
motherfucker
with another
motherfucker
gree's out here
trying to be
nice and he's
just like
he looks
poor
dang
heart picks up
a rock and
crushes it in
his hand
because he
remembers that
he should be
kind towards
other
patrons
of this
thing
that is
happening out
here on the
street
this individual
though
this person
that just said
that we were
poor
from what
talim
has said
that's the
greatest insult
that heart
has ever
heard
i like how
chad is like
oh no
he's
glasses
he's looking
at all
of you
and he's like
oh
i
no
thank you
i'm
i'm
quite
fine
with
my
hors d'oeuvres
um
but can
i
help
any
of you
what
what
he just
called the
food
poor
he didn't
call you
guys
poor
like
you took
it
you took
it
that
which
is
correct
but
yeah
but he
did
ask
where
did
you
get
that
from
what
is
that
he
kind of
just
looks
like
sad
she
she's
just
kind
of
sad
looking
now
like
you
just
kicked
a
dog
yeah
he
does
not
care
no
of course
not
um
soren
yes
heart
wants
to find
the
most
weird
thing
that
this
guy
is
selling
that
could
evoke
the
largest
like
just
irrational
scheme
that
now
the
evil
alignment
within
heart's
head
starts
to
shurn
as
he
i
i
want
to
roll
perception
or like
lore
cooking
or
whatever
i want
to find
the
scandal
piece
in
this
man's
tent
if
this
guy
is
selling
something
like
a
wine
that
is
actually
made
by
like
a
mass
murdering
super
wizard
or
something
like
that
you're
gonna
vibe
check
his
fucking
inventory
i want
to
cancel
this
man
my name is
mom
and i'm here
to check
the vibe
all right
sure
absolutely
uh
roll me
perception
i think
they'll
be the
best
as
you're
looking
for
stuff
i roll
a five
for
total
i will
use
my
hero
point
okay
all right
you're gonna
re-roll
heck yeah
i will
uh
and
let's
see
if
i use
my
hero
point
to be
petty
yeah
no
it's
worse
you roll
that
two
yes
um
you do
not
like
uh
you're
looking
you're
looking around
all the
wines and
stuff
and you
find one
that only
to your
mind
seems to
be a
problematic
piece
uh
chat
give me a
name
give me a
goofy name
for a
wine
give me a
goofy name
for a
wine
something
ridiculous
something
dumb
i'll
i'll pick
one out
from chat
uh
i'll pick
one out
from chat
and we'll
pick that
as
as the
name
let's see
bunger
man this
really is a
dark fantasy
world
you either
die a
hero
or you
live to see
your character
become twitter
it's bunger
from bug
snacks
we just
grabbed the
actual thing
it's take
bunger
you think
you like
you think
this is an
origin of
something
horrible
come up
with anything
but it
says bunger
in which
to everybody
else
this is just
normal cheap
wine
something that
you don't want
to bring out
the good stuff
for a public
event like this
this is a good
cheap wine
just get your
drunk off
and you know
taste the grapes
and stuff
it's generic
wine
but to you
oh my god
how dare
he
do this
wince
and looks
at this
man
as if he
was like
five feet
shorter
than he
actually
is
part just
stares at
him
with
utter
disgust
that only
a beautiful
person can
make
like this
is the type
of person
that
it's like
a kim kardashian
uh
this is almost
that situation
where
whenever
the pretty
girls
at high
school
looked at
you
and made
like a
little
uh
confusion
look
either at
you
or someone
you knew
made like
uh
of a look
at you
that is what
heart does
to this
man
even if
this is
not the
worst
wine crime
that heart
has ever
seen
he's gonna
fucking
make that
into a
thing
heart is
gonna ruin
this guy's
fucking
career
as he
goes
Bunger
huh
oh
yeah
this is
very popular
here
with the
um
he looks
around
people
yeah
Bunger
um
you were
someone
that stated
that
this food
looked
poor
right
and you
were not
that keen
on
sampling
the food
because
it looks
poor
right
oh
yeah
sorry
I don't
know where
you found
it
but it
still
looks
um
alive
and wrinkling
mm-hmm
it's made
from vegetables
but I
hear me out
though
making wine
out of
curdled
sheep's
milk
is not
the greatest
choice
when you're
questioning
if it's
made for
poor
people
quote unquote
is he
saying this
loud enough
for everyone
to hear
oh yeah
big time
you made
wine out of
cheese
yeah you
can
uh you
can use
the actual
like
actually
wait can
you
yeah
yeah
yeah
you
I'm sorry
I don't
mean
no no
yeah
yeah
yeah
you use
bacteria
flora
from
anything
and you
can like
activate
a wine
from it
can I
assist
Hart
in what
he's doing
can
beetle
find like
just a
fruity
looking
alcoholic
beverage
and pick up
the bottle
he gets up
on his
sippy dose
picks it up
and he's
looking it
over
he's like
what
where'd you
source this
did somebody
sell you
pruno
this is
prison
wine
you know
that
right
oh my
god
if you
like
if you
like
bunger
that is
fine
but from
what I
can see
in you
you sell
bunger
to people
you look
down on
and I
look around
here and I
see my
fellow bunger
drinkers
yeah
and you
do not
seem to
be one
so
because Hart
you are
confident
sorry
sorry
Cam
one second
uh
you know
since
you are
confident
uh
and what
you're
saying
because you
don't know
any different
um
you rolled
me either
intimidate
you rolled
me intimidation
um
and beetle
you're lying
so deception
yeah try to
make it seem
like a stalk
and sorry
Talim what
were you
saying
oh I
was just
like Talim
is just
like um
like
it's like
like leaning
back to
like the lady
behind him
he's like
like hand
over his
mouth
he's like
he's like
oh
he's like
you can't
find a good
wine merchant
these days
they're all
so snooty
they don't
understand
people's tastes
roll me
uh
deception
on your side
as well
Cabal
I'm going to
hero point
mine
because I rolled
an 11
for a total
of 15
okay
I rolled
a 17
for a total
of 26
okay
with my hero
point used
I rolled
for a total
of 25
I rolled
a 6
for a total
of 14
awesome
okay
so with everyone's
stuff
uh
basically
for your
intimidation
of a 26
heart
Beatles
deception
of a 25
and Talim
with your
snide
thing
of a 14
uh
people
you start
noticing
several
onlookers
start to hear
you
and come
over
and one
was like
fucking
cheese
you know
like
like
really
like
I don't want
back to you
in my drink
that'll get me
sick
it's like
oh damn
really
he's having
this terrible
drink to other
people
oh no
you know
and the crowd
starts coming
in and it's like
his hair looks
dumb anyway
you know
they start
to seem
to be on your
side
can I use stealth to kind of like
fade into the crowd
absolutely
roll me a stealth
the homer simpson's bush gift
I get a 26
just kind of like
you just fade away
homer simpson into the crowd
like
can gray
can gray pipe up for a sec
absolutely
she's just like
poor
poor
the only thing here
is your attitude
these are from
Quan Sheer
these are delicacies
you are rude
roll me a diplomacy
oh crap
snap snap
snap snap
snap
snap
snap
gray's hands are pulled
so little snaps in the S formation
for her
does gray throw her head
from side to side
when she says it
with attitude
that is a 14
for a total of 16
so with your 16
uh you see
you see him
uh you see
Fevenon
basically just kind of like
a slight panic
as he's seeing
his
his dear
gullible customers
not wanting to drink
his cheap wine
due to all your
accusations
you must understand
that Bungar
here
is an excellent
vintage
that is affordable
to the masses
you wouldn't want to come here
to a festival
everyone
and spend all of your
hard-earned coin
on something
way too extravagant
and such
of course
you're saving your goods
for the finer restaurants
here on Queen's Blaster
and I'm just giving you
a taste
of the good life
something that's affordable
for your coin persons
don't let these
bruffians
try to besmirch
the Bungar's
good name
the vineyards
of here
far off
into the swamps
of the solitude
or a fine
vintage
squeezed
from excellent
beautiful
grapes
and fruits
that come in
from the very
purified
swamplands
near the coastline
far off
of the city
of Valtzai
don't let them
stop you
and he's going to try
to persuade them all
with his
merchantile lore
and he has to beat
a
he has to beat
a 25
he rolls a natural
you see all of these
people turn
from you
and just basically
just going like
oh really
it comes
just a delectable
fruit
you say
oh my
well I definitely
want to spend
on my hardwood money
you know right now
but I just need
something to let
sip on during
the playback
oh my
I could probably
bring a bottle
or so
use it as a
Christmas gift
for five years
that I don't care
about
and they all
seem to be
coming up
to the stall
how do
you guys want
to retort
at all
or
I am just
flabbergasted
by that 30
holy crap
Hark
Hark sees this
charlatan
perform his acts
he knows
the acts
of a
cunning merchant
and he too
sneaks away
into the crowd
I want to go
off screen
over to
Brug
and I want
to go
Brug
I want you
to do a thing
yeah what's that
you are a man
a man of
he looks down
at the ground
as if he's
a bit ashamed
to bring it up
you are a man
who knows
how to break
another person's
livelihood
are you asking
Brug
continue being
a gang member
Brug
I don't want
to call you
in for this
I can't believe it
are you capable
of starting
a fire
what
no
Brug
Brug looks at
Brug looks at
you hard
and
he sees that
you're ashamed
of something
and goes
Hart
why are you
asking me
to do this
there's a mean
elf
and he says
bad things
about our
food
man
you see
you see
I'm gonna
slide you
over here
for you
to commit
arson
yeah man
I want
to kill
him
just a little
arson
is a treat
I just
want him
to be
gone
man
he has
to do
the picturesque
setting here
that uh
Brug
Brug is uh
like working
on all
prepping the food
and stuff
for prepping
the cart
and everything
you know
like
he's a single
dad
he knows
how to prep
stuff
and
he see
kind of
wipes his
hand off
with a towel
puts it
off to the
side
and kind
of puts
a hand
on your
heart
and he
goes
Hart
yeah
there's a
lot of
mean people
in this
world
yeah
reacting
reacting
the people
just being
unsavory
with violence
isn't the
way
if you
crush
his head
I
weak
killing
heart
is
is never
the answer
I
encourage
you
Brug
I could
wield
him
like a
club
I
I
get that
that's
like
pops
around
the
corners
just like
come
get
the
answer
in case
people didn't
hear it
because of
the audio
and stuff
in the
background
sometimes
it's the
answer
so
but uh
sorry if
you've
got lost
the
so
Bruggs
Bruggs
like no
no
you see
whenever I
try
whatever my
you know
whatever
Vishda or so
ever got the
problems or
people were
really mean
to her
as much as
she had a
murderous
tendency
to want
to stab
and maim
them or
so like
how dare
they
treat
somebody
else
yeah
how dare
they
they should
get stabbed
no
heart
they shouldn't
we need
to be
better
than those
of the
tyrant's guild
that go
around this
city
killing
people
we need
to be
better
than some
of the
more
brutal
people
from
Croc's
gang
who
just
rampantly
just
destroy
people's
lives
you want
to know
how
you can
tell
that
snooty
elf
to shut
up
i eat
him
no
no
that's not
how
that's not
how we
need
to sell
our things
more
we need
to beat
him out
of here
we need
to make
sure
all of
his
customers
come to
us
instead
we have
a good
selection
of stuff
here
we need
to be
the better
cart
we need
to out
sell
that guy
to prove
that his
product
is worse
and people
decide to
spend their
money
with us
instead
we need
to prove
that we
are better
than him
because all
he will do
is wallow
in his
self-pity
knowing that
he's a
failure
heart
and then
we
can continue
with our
lives
and stick
with our
business
we do
not
we should
not kill
we should
not maim
and we should
not murder
we need
to be
better
heart
heart
rubs
his shin
and smiles
i know
we aren't
killing him
we're killing
his legacy
yes
heart
kill the
legacy
not his
body
yeah
yeah
that boy
yeah
thanks
brog
no problem
heart
i assume
you all just
leave the
elf
at this
point
yeah
i want to
say that
like
uh
gray
like
just
grabbed
grabbed
beetle
and just
kind of
like
snuck
back
into
the
crowd
while
he's
dealing
with
people
yeah
as you
guys
do
as all that was
happening
we came
back
as you guys
are leaving
i'm glad that
the pool cart's
not gonna be
any problem
anyway
come get
some wine
everyone
and he seems
happier than
ever
selling a whole
bunch of
wine
i'll see you
in the losers
bracket
you gotta kick
him right in
his legacy
god dang
so
i
i could
throw a
rock
at him
right
so
you guys
come back
to your
cart
cabal
do you
want me
to move
to
lean
or
yeah
i was
looking
at
his
stuff
yeah
so
you guys
have made
your
cart
there is
one
other
cart
you guys
can
go
investigate
if
you
want
to
kind
of
scope
out
the
competition
or
you
guys
can
finish
your
prep
uh
last
last
checkout
knowing
what
is
nearby
now
heart
has
an
invigorated
spirit
uh
in that
he needs
to know
the
weaknesses
of
his
fellow
competition
because now
he's hyped
and when
he slides
when he slides
over
when
Talim
appears
he goes
Talim
i need
you to
be
on
that
coffee
and
i need
you
to
make
coffee
into
the
people
of
this
land
i
need
you
to
get
them
addicted
Talim
like
he like
looks up
from the
pot of
sand
that he
is like
he's
starting
to fire
under
to like
heat
the
sand
up
and
he
looks
over
and
he's
like
i don't
think
you've
ever
had
the
coffee
that's
so
simple
we're
the good
guys
we're
the good
guys
yeah
we're
the good
guys
we're
the good
guys
yeah
yeah
gray's
gonna
wander
on
over
to
the
other
side
because
she's
she's
she's
just
trying
to
get
the
bad
taste
out
of
her
mouth
because
that
that
elf
yeah
let's
check
what else
is
around
here
hey
i have
a
great
marketing
plan
we're
gonna
kill
them
metaphorically
kill
the heck
out of
that
guy
hard
you
hear
me
we'll
talk
about
on
he says
that
to
them
like
as
they're
walking
over
to
it
he
doesn't
work
literally
kill
the
competition
so
you guys
head over
to this
other stand
and you
see
it's
a
little
rattling
folk
you see
this
rattling
folk
it's
a
cute
little
guy
wearing
kind
of
like
a
darker
coat
with
some
gold
trim
stuff
has
little
hand
wraps
and
things
think
of
like
a
very
realistic
mouse
chat
or
realistic
rat
mouse
whichever
one
very
cute
adorable
little
guy
and he
just
seems
to be
just
kind
of
like
yeah
has
like
a
little
cloth
layout
thing
on their
table
putting all
these
little
bits
and
bobs
little
trinkets
little
items
and
things
and
see
the
person
will
kind
of
see
the
little
rat
folk
look up
at
you
hi
so
I
didn't
expect
customers
right
now
I'm
just
finishing
up
um
hi
my
name's
Packpock
it's
so
good
to
see
you
he
kind
of
like
wiggles
his
little
claw
fingers
a little
bit
and kind
of
places
another
thing
would you
like
something
precious
a little
something
for a
sweetheart
even
um
all of
these
have been
excellent
choices
I found
along my
little
adventures
we're
we're
we're
we're
you're
hi
we're
your
neighbor
we're
just
setting
up
our
cart
over
there
but
we're
we're
selling
food
so
don't
worry
we're
not
you know
we won't
have
to
butt
hands
or
anything
like
that
let
me
see
all
your
knick
knacks
wow
I
love
knick
knacks
I
love
them
oh
that
would
be
excellent
to
see
it's
good
to
meet
you
neighbor
and he
extends
that
a
little
paw
to
for
you
to
handshake
beetle
half
climbs
on the
counter
to
shake
his
paw
oh
careful
of
the
merchandise
sorry
sorry
gray will
gray will
offer
one of
the uh
one of
the hors d'oeuvres
this is the
this is the food
if you get
hungry at any
point
and if
you like
it
yeah
you try
some
oh
I'm
so
much
starving
I haven't
ate
in a couple
days
so
this will
be
oh my
gosh
take
some
he'll
take
one
and go
nope
what
no
take
more
take
multiple
I think
oh
okay
he starts
going
it's okay
we had
someone
very rude
he starts
going faster
he starts
eating half
of it
she'll like
start taking
like the
plate away
she's like
okay
that's
good enough
oh sorry
it's been a while
it's fine
you know
what you
you just
took the
portion
for the
guy
who was
super
rude
to us
yeah
oh
dear
did
was it
uh
who
who
was
it
wasn't
that
potato
kid
was he
gives
me
that vibe
no
no
no
it was
uh
l further
down
selling
wine
a little
rude
oh
oh
that
fucko
oh
got it
oh
I like
you
I like
you
as he
reminds me
of one
adventuring
party
I was
going
with
I
work
with
the
delvers
guild
sometimes
I'm
a carrier
basically
I
bring
the
items
back
up
to
the
surface
when
the
party
dies
so
the
loot
little
bits
lost
and
sometimes
I
skim
off
the
top
don't
tell
anyone
and he
kind
of leans
in
whispering
that
but these
are all
the
things
I've
collected
oh
this
is
a
this
one
has
a
family
in it
and he
shows
a locket
pops
it
open
and it
looks
like
a
happy
like
burly
man
with
his
wife
and
kid
has
a
bit
of
red
on
the
chain
oh
no
oh
my
god
well
uh
gray sweats
a little
bit
I knew
the moment
you had
a cute
little
rat person
pop up
and you're
like
oh
he just
looks like
a little
rat
and all
his cute
little mouse
I'm like
this guy
is gonna
be
morally
glorious
I knew
it
oh
you got
any teeth
oh
I do
actually
and he
brings up
a full
jar
they're a bit
mixed in
I'm sorry
I can't
I'm not really
good with
sets
can I look
at all
your teeth
mine
or the
jaw
the jar
absolutely
and he'll
like shove
it over
it's a
big
fucking
jar
filled
with teeth
Beetle
opens it
and just
starts like
rifling through
picking teeth
out
looking at
him
he holds
one up
to gray
look at
the cavity
on this
one
oh
they didn't
take care
of their
teeth
very well
you
rifling
through
that
jar
like
a
dice
container
at a
hobby
shop
yeah
uh
Beetle
Beetle's gonna
look up
how much
for a few
teeth
oh
um
I usually
sell them
by the
little
bags
and he
brings
up
a
little
bag
and
he
kind
of
shows
the
teeth
and
go
oh
I
put
numbers
on them
so you
can use
them like
playing sets
thanks for the idea
cab
you like see
this one has
one
one through
eight
I call it
a teeth
eight
and this
one has
ten
sides
oh
and the
big
orc
one
I had to
chop it
off
this one
has
twenty
sides
that's
a lot
of sides
I sell
them in a
little set
so you can
play
gambling games
couple people
here
very unsuitable
fellows
who were
very interested
in these
to gamble
with
oh
here you
go
that'll
be
five
copper
please
and he
takes
out
both
of
his
hands
he goes
give me
give me
money
Beetle forks
over
five
copper
I'm not
much
of a
gambler
I just
like
teeth
it's
like
so you
buy
so you
buy
yourself
a set
of
gambling
teeth
yep
what
other
goodies
besides
like
teeth
does
Pack
Pack
have
roll
me
a
perception
check
just to
get a
good
lay
of
the
land
we're
gonna
do
a
roll
for
a
perception
that's
an
eight
for
a
total
of
eighteen
okay
Abina would you like to make a perception check as well
yeah yeah hold on sorry I'm just making the item set of
gambling
teeth
close okay
I like how those episodes the party actually goes to a convention
yeah it is like that that is a total of twenty eight
excellent so gray you see that
it has a just an array or pick or pack pocket or just an array array of just little
bits and bop just random stuff think of a mobile thrift store um and you just
see like obviously some's been used of random items and stuff there's like some
boots and still got crud on it and blood uh and I went to outset and all I got
was this crappy t-shirt yeah and there's all of that stuff um but
beetle you notice that uh peck pocket has uh something behind him and it's kind of like
a kind of glass case sort of thing so half covered by a piece of cloth and you notice
uh that is a bit shiny or so it's a very very intricate looking like piece of jewelry
it looks like
pop pop what is that behind you that you you haven't set up yet
oh oh that's a um well I found it during uh one of my excursions with somebody and he
opens it up and stuff and he brings it over and uh it is a there's a ring
basically kind of a ring and then like a necklace around like this podium that holds this ring
uh I was like that's a couple of items that um I basically uh brought back really after uh an
unfortunate excursion when with a delvers party um apparently when when I looked at it it gave me
quite a weird feeling with it all but I thought it was majorly special and some of the wizards
in the delvers guild confirmed that it was magical and so I have it on the display piece it's my big
selling point it could really help me out if people bought it
oh oh I have one of my friends is actually uh into magic and stuff could I have him come take a look at it
oh of course
I like that shine one second Greg
so there he goes
all of a sudden I just hear like what is it like dark and darker wet feet slapping just
yeah
yeah the wet slapping feet of dark and darker comes straight towards you
Taleb! Taleb!
Peter is approaching
oh look I bought this bag of teeth
and Taleb like looks up and he's like you know he's got um he's like holding like coffee pots and
stuff like that and he looks down he's like I cannot say that I am surprised but for some reason I always am
the guy who I bought them from he's got a really shiny necklace and you say it might be magical can
you check if it's cursed
I
I got
I got you Taleb uh heart says as he starts like just shoving around the warm sand with his bare hands
but Taleb like yeah it's like when Beetle's just like can you check if it's cursed until
Taleb just like he does the thing like you know where you like dip your head down a little bit and
you like tilt it to the side like really
and he turns and he's running away
I suppose I should before Beetle touches it and maybe gets
Gree's been making small talk with the merchant the entire time because she's like left
Taleb floats out of the cart he's like do it do it for your friends do it for your companions
Talim patience patience that only the dead can have
Talim come on
float faster
so like he
he floats over um until he sees uh until he sees uh back talk and like he looks down at like Beetle and
looks like great it's just like those like emotions like so
look look look and he points back at the necklace that's been uncovered
can we take a better look at it can I hold it can I touch it
um okay just don't run off with it I know how to throw these things and he flashes a dagger like
and it goes it like shows up goes away like he's an expert
I just gave you money for teeth I'm not gonna run with your necklace
and say okay and he'll he'll present he'll undo the glass thing for you and allow uh
to lean to inspect it
okay I guess like arcana check is basically yeah lean in and do a he who funny arcana check
I got a plus 12 so I roll a
five for a total of 17 as Talim like kind of like leans over and like casually hems and hauls over it
so unfortunately you can't identify both with that role uh you do know that they are magical
now are they cursed you can't quite tell but you know basically looking at this type of stuff it's
gonna cost a lot of gold to buy these two things but you can tell um that the necklace or kind of like
the amulet type of deal is like you know you know it's something about protection really it protects
the wearer from something you're not quite sure what though
like like he kind of like leans over and looks over beetles like they I can't tell if it's cursed
to be honest I don't really care it's I've made of the business deals that I care to make today
uh it definitely has some sort of protective enchantment over it are you interested in it
I like how shiny it is
again I am not surprised but for some reason I am
I can just hang my teeth from it gray kind of leans over
I have coffee to make to put a snooty elf in their place wait wait wait one second one second
gray gray leans over to uh to Talim she's like depending on how much he's selling it for
someone else could get it could get it and that could put us in a weird spot
and like the thing like kind of like turns around and like it like puts us back to uh what is it uh
the pack talk you know like he's trying to you know like have like kind of a private conversation
but like at the same time you could just see through him um
he's like but how much is it important you know like it doesn't even know what it does
gray just kind of like shrugs and she's like hey how much is this yeah I'm gonna yell it
oh well I'm selling it as like a pair like a together thing and that's gonna be about uh 400 gold
oh great kind of just stop late great just stop she's just like never mind
it's okay it's the same reaction I get all the time and he covers it all back up and stuff and
puts it back behind him hey soren yes lip quivers uh heart comes over uh in a regular fashion uh can I spend
uh my hero point to make a narrative declaration uh tell me what it is first okay cool my narrative
declaration would be that since heart is a homeless person and has been a homeless person since he got
to outset and he has wandered about for quite some time until he you know actually got to meet his friends
um can I know this mouse uh you would have to make me a society check and have to be a hard one yeah of
course I'm into it yeah so go ahead yeah
I need to spend a hero point for that one an 18 for a total of 21. um if you you probably have not been
around the delvers guild all that much or so but you will you will not know peck pock personally but
you probably have heard of peck pock's job and probably would understand that you probably maybe
have seen peck pock randomly on the street and just thought of nothing of it um but you would know of
what peck pock's profession is uh which is basically like delvers go down pretty much think of
dungeoneering going down and stuff and then there's someone who also can kind of follow them as a carrier
and basically whenever they loot stuff instead of the party carrying it all they give it to someone
else uh and then they pawn it off etc yeah they take care of all of that and they're the one who
manages all the money and stuff and splits it to people they take care of all that stuff so peck pock
here is technically doing their job right now hi there oh hi you see peck pock is scared of you
and emily kind of scammers down the table going how can i help you uh yeah actually uh i know that
you are a uh well you're a pawn broker for for delvers right yeah yeah did you know that we are
associated with some delvers too yeah cool so uh hear me out uh since we have some associated business
would you mind due to being neighbors and all that that if you have any recommendations to any of your
patrons when they come by and buy your awesome little stuff and he like looks at these things
as we all know heart is all about aesthetic so he like actually genuinely looks at all of these
things that you remember that he is and uh if they are willing to buy one of your earrings or one of
those things i don't know what that piece of garment is called but one if they buy one of those if they
if they seem hungry or they are thirsty could you recommend them to just come right over uh to us and
we will recommend them uh to go to your place in case they uh they want to you know find something
nice for that special someone or maybe to you know amp up their style a little bit yeah if we see anybody
without earrings or necklaces or boots we could be like hey you look yeah you've got a kind of face
where you'd look real nice in some trousers and you know points that look at disheveled
it's just a red rail of disheveled pantsless homeless guy just tottering by and it's like oh like that
guy you know you know you know what just so i can have it as a conversation piece do you have any
earrings i can buy just to go like oh yeah i bought them from this guy like just the neighbor over you want
to buy first and then okay uh he does got oh well i have these um it was from a uh goblin couple
and um they had matching earrings one had the left one and one had the right one and uh here you are
and he'll kind of like brings them up and kind of rattles his hand it's like ears are still attached
to them they're pickled now you know just he'll uh he'll present them oh they're fine and
lovely folk and he'll present them up present them up and stuff and i was like oh this will be
um since it was a very precious set for them and uh has some intricate carvings on them i think
i think about 50 silver will be good how about two gold it's like okay that's one go that's one
gold for each one of them he's like not gonna argue
you yeah takes the two gold yeah give me money yeah yeah yeah he gives he gives it to him and uh
smiles and it's for the extra money oh sorry you remind me of uh of someone and he smiles a little
bit as he's reminiscing the confidence dies in pack pock immediately back to no longer being comfortable
and uh now you have to roll me diplomacy okay cool
i roll out 14 for a total of 18. a pack just kind of dodged yeah yeah i'll i'll bring people over
if they're thirsty and hungry yeah thank you and cool we'll send people over your way if we see they
have uh particularly fat purses oh no buddy you see pack pock is just kind of shaking a little bit
going thank you for your service please go okay what did you do art wanders over
no it's probably that he he knows that uh heart kills people
great she's just gonna go she's just like what the fuck just happened she's gonna freaking eat me
so as you guys go back to your cart getting ready for everything uh getting ready for everything you
notice something is coming up to you um something you're not quite sure 100 um what this thing is
uh but you see this thing kind of like floating along it has multiple limbs kind of taught first
talking to the elven butcher and you're going what do you mean it's it's it's boom ga you know and
you see here the explanation past all the people um it continues to get closer it gets to the potato
mancer and you see it kind of multiple arms it has a big headpiece around it and just kind of like
just shiny like gem looking thing into seemingly hat from a distance multiple hands extend to start
kind of riding on this scroll but then it gets to all of you and what you see
is this oh uh oh he looks cool is this is this creature this being or so and as it kind of comes
up to all of you it has like this kind of roll out scroll and stuff and you see like an arm comes
out from mother's robe and scribbles on it taking notes and various things and it leans forward uh to
to the entrance of your carts and it goes name and what are you selling this vessel wishes to know
and we're now we're gonna go take our break oh my god oh my god welcome back everyone that was such
a good edit that piece was never gonna go into the vaude wow yeah all those people who didn't hear the
q a session that we're now doing live on twitch not going to be on youtube you got to come to twitch
now to come listen to it and ask his questions and stuff they missed the plot twist questions gosh yeah
it was all those interesting questions about people's characters and the campaign and stuff
like oh wow they should come to twitch.tv forward slash narrative declaration come watch the campaign
you know get all that be able to come talk to us personally and stuff that's right
you get a snide about it sorry anyway so you guys so i play a merchant okay i'm already snide i'm in
the mindset i used to be a car salesman i'm already an asshole so
so what you see before you where we let when we just left off for youtube it's probably just for
a second um you see this crystallized beam you're not quite sure a hundred percent of actually what
i'm gonna do i'm gonna set the uh the tone for this a little bit with some music oh uh
our nice medieval fantasy fair music has been interrupted by creeping dread
so this creature comes up to you you're not quite sure what it is but as it approaches your cart
you see it's taking various notes as it looks at you talim several scribbles happen it looks to you
heart several scribbles happen you beetle one scribble cray gray several scribbles
he just writes dog and moves on
and um it looks at you all and it asks the questions again i've got like
it's like who is working this cart and what are you selling
uh we're here on behalf of the elmas
uh elmas huh he scribbles
yeah and we're selling uh blood-eye coffee iced cream liqueur uh normal uh uh
the lights and dishes from the distant lands of cornshear
yeah made by those from the lands themselves
and it's authentic it ain't no person who just went there and brought some stuff back
authentic
the multiple scribbles are happening and it goes
and it rips off a piece of paper
and and hands it to you uh with the number it says like cart number 45.
uh thank you have a good day
if the high conserve himself curdanan approves of you your number will be called
uh approved thank you what is it
did you not receive the letter talking about the contest to meet with his holiness
yes yes we did you have to prove it if we win okay sorry
my my associate is a bit scattered brain oh dear scribe
i notice and you see his hand turn uh to you to lean and you notice something you mostly you've
just been seeing like an orb like this crystal in this like this hat sort of like rigid structure
looking thing that kind of looks like like big like a big ear hat sort of bit but you notice as
it turns you see a shimmer of a skull that kind of flashes at you a bit but it doesn't look human
uh it looks like a kobold skull and it like flashes a bit and goes right back in
okay
all right thank you we will get back to work good this vessel will continue and you see this thing will
just skitter along back to the rat and here you know as it gets to the rat folk or so
and it continues on down checking every cart checking on everything just registering everybody
uh and it leaves can i roll a knowledge arcana to know if that was a construct or a
or anything like that absolutely go ahead and roll it for me okay what anybody else like to make a roll
to figure out what the hell that was what would i would it be survival or society or uh society arcana
uh you could try nature but that might be very hard i rolled a six for a total of 18. okay
i can try society it's a it's a plus one but it's worth a shot
yeah yeah i'll try society as well in case he's seen or heard about those things that's a no that's
a total of a three i don't know what that is at all can i roll a can i roll a religion since i've
heard that kernan is like a faith man yeah yeah cool i rolled a total of 24. okay i rolled a i rolled a
total of 22. okay so for all of your rolls tleem you you don't have a you can't 100 confirm but from
what you saw of this creature coming by you don't know exactly what it is um
as you suspect these things are not don't go out in public all that much or it's like super common
that people at least around here on this continent we'll see um but you do know that like whatever
built it or have its hands because you notice its hands are made of like kind of like metal pieces
or twisted metal and stuff and in things have in letterings and runes have been etched on its body
and stuff and the crystal of it uh basically forming its head uh with the skull and stuff that seems to
somehow be like magically floating in there um whatever made it was intricate work like you
don't even think certain master wizards would be able to figure this thing out it's a it's a
creature or constructed being of like no small undertaking exactly okay that is what tleem is afraid of
so for beetle in heart uh for beetle for your 24th society and heart for your religion for 22 like
it will come into the same summary that uh that you understood like for the big airship from in the
very sort of the campaign it was mentioned the big airship was kind of parked near the city of outset
and pretty much the kingdom of durn like its subjects have arrived here in the city of outset and a big
parade that they were going to attend to and do all this stuff they've been you know that they're here for a
reason uh no one knows why normally it's for trade or something else like that or negotiations with the
assembly here in the city of outset but for you that's what you know where they're from as to what
they are exactly or what that being was you've no idea um so for you heart for your religion check for
the let's see like faith man of what curtain ends from the high the high conservance is something that
you don't 100 know about it's not something that's regularly practiced here but a lot of rumors a
lot of talk have gone through and you probably heard through the parade or maybe run out from talking to
people in the tavern that you've stayed at and stuff uh the high high conservance is basically
a belief that is not doesn't exactly follow a god but it's a large population based faith that believes
a spiritual mindset yeah spiritual mindset of people should not be leaving their souls from
this material planet it must be conserved here to continue serving a a higher a higher means uh for
the king like for the king or for the subjects of its people to help improve people's lives why leave
when there's work to be done uh is the mentality that a lot of these people have um that's as far as you know
to leave as he like thinks about this
and just ponders because that sounds very familiar
well with that that is gone and of course then the music will shift or so back into happy parade
everyone's still having a good time everyone's ready and you start to hear loud cheers from way far off to
the left as you notice just drums and everything just bomb you know just hordes and everything begin
to blare as the parade has finally reached all of you but all of you need to sell things now it's time
the cell now it's time to get rid of things you know just think about okay yeah just think of aladdin
at this one i would play something like it when i boom boom boom boom boom bottom you know just think
of that music going i would play something like it but i have nothing my library for that so here's the
things or remember one of those things that i said that i i needed for the uh the prep was uh was two
cantrips right yes so one of them was a little cantrip called musical accompaniment
so um we want you to look around the card at everybody it's like are we ready to go oh yeah
uh heart are you ready to help me with the thing
oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no those all salties muted on discord oh oh oh oh oh just uh just get
to give just give someone some time uh she's probably talking to you know um all that stuff but um um
um but you know if everybody is like you're like oh you know like we're we're gonna go then uh
then we'll actually like snap his fingers and uh as he begins to you know like work on coffee and like
get that ready and um everything like that a uh you know music um befitting of a one sherry stand starts
to uh you know just kind of play so i'm gonna just you know re-up it every minute it's um it's two
actions the cantrip i can do it at nauseam so i um i don't know how well fading it is but i have
halfling festival playing from tabletop audio so it sounds like that right now it's it's it's a thing it
gives uh gives us uh plus one on performances um that's amazing awesome wait does while you're
doing the music thing was that a joke or do you actually give us plus one to performance no it
actually it actually gives us that's so good because i have a performance planned or beetle
has a performance planned but i need heart oh no heart is very important heart is so
important what i mean heart oh no it's generic like kwan cheering there's a music because that's
what we're doing it's okay uh we can save your performance thing uh when once all did come back
like okay they they they sent a uh message at discord so they have to take care of something so
um so that i assume you all are now kind of working in the cart i'll kind of move you guys for the
car and stuff kind of doing stuff um so as you guys are getting ready uh we're gonna get all your
coffee stuff prepared food things everything else uh the first thing you see coming down this large
road you see a bunch of people a bunch of fancy dressed dancers and stuff they're doing an elaborate
display musicians are just blaring everything is wonderful abby people are cheering starting to see
you hear fireworks and see fireworks explode into the night sky and you see a big elephant float like
like thing come by pretty much a uh think of it as uh like a like a humanoid elephant head um type uh
character that's on top of this floats and it's a big magical display as this thing kind of starts coming
by um i would put a shit to the tokens before and after it but let's just save ourselves some lag for
foundry forever this thing begins to cross by now for all of you forget we had a cough now for all of
you um you're out your car and there's a bunch of customers around uh how would you guys like to bring
in some customers uh gray is up front she's got her nice fancy dress called he did draw something
very cute um so i'll put that on twitter later for people but um but in discord i could show it off
oh yeah yeah yeah um because it's also got it's also got a beetle in it um yeah we have to grab it
where did it go oh no oh there it is i found it okay but gray is up front she's got like you know
she's got the sample platter she's she's bringing people in she's like waving for them to come on in
she's smiling she's got her best her best welcoming uh vibes going on right now oh my god yes yeah it's
great oh my god yes all right chat one second i'm trying to wrap it for you there you go i got on screen
here you go chat these are the cannon outfits right now okay so any particular action you're doing or
just uh uh uh she's she's like kind of doing like a little like a little dance she's got a little dance
she's doing right now uh while very carefully like handing out samples and stuff to like welcome people
on in okay uh and she's like if you want a drink or if you want something to eat we've got plenty we've got
lots of variety come in come in oh well i i really want something to eat and drink i think i'll
partake and you see there's a dwarf that comes up to you we're only performance okay performance we're
rolling that's four i'm gonna re-roll that you can do it do it if anybody subs right now i'm taking
the names and i'm putting you in as the character that comes up and talks to him
okay i'm i re-rolled that for oh you re-rolled from a six to a 13. yes i did
let me knock you down here i'm fine so pain so the help out uh salty um froggy was waiting
waiting on you to do a bit thing or so but you see the uh minerva uh minerva's character gray is
doing things like oh cook it drinks everything i was like oh well i i'm not quite sure maybe that that
else uh ale looks quite wonderful right now you know um and it seems to be faltering do you two
want to do anything that should help out uh gray absolutely so beetle will jump up onto the top of
the cart with his trusty grass reed and uh to to the beat of the nice desert music that's playing
he'll go i say yeah buddy roll it like a big shot kebab spinning on the spit and it don't stop
fresh coffee pot deck food inside deck is the outside seating and the tables wide yes are the cups big
what does it taste good good lean back right hand on the pine wood tea on the inside seats on the outside
tea on the inside seats on the outside tea on the inside seats on the outside and the elmas elmas elmas
special pie
yes
thank you okay let me roll a performance
do you both of you roll me performance but roll it twice and take the highest one
that's a 30 baby roll it twice and take the highest one you have fortune on this attempt okay okay
i will take my 30 total of a 30. can i reroll one of mine uh you can spin a hero point if you'd like
all right cool i'll reroll my 11. yeah 22. all right beetle got a 30 which is a critical success
and heart got a 22 and uh the dwarf comes right on my name's ironclad golf it's like it's so nice to
meet you that was an excellent performance uh uh one one coffee please and uh the biggest piece of meat you
have yeah thanks and have a seat buddy the only reason i can move like this is because i'm drinking
this coffee oh excellent excellent you see he will enjoy himself happy as ever
so excellent job there the float continues to go on by another customer comes up and says oh hello there
i'll talk to his venmo i would like something please and he looks to talim and heart
well you know what they say cream on the inside clean on the outside
and your your heart would thank you if you would indeed kick start it a little bit with a good
it what is it talim what is it called what is it called and what should people be talking about
talim is um has got like a pot of like hot sand in front of him and he is like magically working
things uh and you know be like oh it's like he's moving the coffee around it froths up they like pour
you like pours it into a cup and uh makes it theatric use produce flame to make a little bit of fire and he's
like blood-eye coffee from the sands of quan shear a drink that will have you coming back for more
hey cap do you want to tell the actual mechanical effects of blood-eye coffee um i i can't if if i
don't like okay so like blood-eye coffee is actually it's a it's not chemical um it's a drug yeah a
strong blend of so i mean like it's caffeine is a drug yeah a strong blend including several spices
um blood-eye coffee is a favorite morning drink and uh it does have a maximum addiction stage but
it never progresses past stage one and uh you get a plus one the item bonus the ac saves uh to which
you are taking penalties caused by fatigue uh for 10 minutes yeah yeah you hear so you're saying all
this and and tartar's fun mouth standing at the car it's like i'll take it and uh as it uh it swishes
around the sand uh froths up pours it into a cup he does that a couple more times it swirls it around
he's like would you prefer it piping hot or slightly chilled hot and uh saline will uh actually you know
you know like uh do a little bit of flame over top of it and hand the steaming cup to the uh
individual thank you you see taras will pay you uh the remote and will join go behind the car i see
we have a bunch of chairs and stuff back there so they will enjoy uh their drinks and stuff so excellent
job so far everyone you see brog has been pushing some people like oh no no no you know
and everything else the float here continues to go on by nearing almost out of it uh another
person comes on by named java jojo and you hear it goes hey there i would like something to eat please
he'll start throwing it back and pointing at the kebab say no chat i'm giving you any
fucking voice i'm giving you all right well we've got lots of kebabs we've got all sorts of snacks
what kind what did you look for i bought sustenance please okay uh right this way hey we need a
big old kebab i know spicy garlic yes i'll give you the regular garlic uh neat why did you suddenly
turn it into like every donor kebab sales person it's like it's like garlic sauce yes it's like i'll give
you it's like it's amazing drowns it in it it destroys it with mayonnaise heart takes a uh a wrapped
thin saj bread that is being flattened and grilled on the plate it is then taken with a little smear of a
thick garlic sauce he puts some homemade pickles on there uh some some fries some fried potatoes uh
and we have a fucking store full of potatoes at this point so he takes these fried potatoes and he
handles them with his bare fucking hands straight out of the fryer so it's a little bit of a showmanship
bit when he does it and then the the carved grilled fresh meat placed on top of it with a little bit
of parsley and then he rolls it all up and he then just takes it with his bare hand and puts it on the
grill on the grill bars and just presses it down until it gets like a little bit of a shard line on it
and then he just wraps it in a little bit of just because we're kind of fancy with it hell yeah a
little round piece of cloth and holds it out still steaming everything is perfectly done it's done so
fast because he can just work with his hands is it he just holds it out roll me a crafting check
can i roll cooking yes baby uh it's uh 15 for a total of 25 critical success it is perfect as you
described and of course shava jojo takes it it goes hey go and then goes back and uh and consumes it
uh with everybody else i hope that lady's okay
so that float goes by a wonderful display in um to lean you'll notice there was a lot of
quan cheer type flavoring to that float you've been so busy with all this stuff but you notice uh
it had excellent it had a whole bunch of fine displays and you notice as you guys are cooking
and working that a lot of a lot of people on the float which will point to you and you like and
acknowledge you and like and clap for you all and everything else and you notice a lot more customers
are on their way oh because you decided to go with quan cheer style uh dress
yeah like as as they um like as they point and like they clap and they cheer like
to lean we'll put on a little like like pyrotechnic display like leans out and puts his hands up he's
like you'll produce play you know yeah uh uh roll me an arcana check yeah um
um sorry the halfling music's going
i roll a 13 for a total of 25. critical success you basically
like make it adding fireworks to your own and a lot more people begin to come in but of course that float
is now gone now it's time to see some results you guys have basically added plus two to this roll
so i'm gonna ask um i'm gonna ask you beetle roll me a flat d20 and add plus two to it
this is how well your cart's doing oh no
seven eight nine are you good with that can i hear a point you sure can oh thank god
that's what you you gotta take your lumps so with your role of a six what if what if what if we
what if what if we narratively declare that uh this is actually our placement in the list of
people and we're actually the sixth uh best at the entire thing so chat chat do i do i let someone else
roll again i don't know you know what i rolled a 30 of my last check so it's all right you guys just
carry the way you guys do it i don't want to cheat i don't want to cheat i don't want to cheat
they all said yes so talim you may roll and you in no bonuses this time flat d20 i was just joking
about me but wait hold on wait why why is it suddenly on me now why is it suddenly on me now
i think if you do it we're all gonna roll the joke backfire yeah this one cannot be hero-pointed
it is my stipulation go for it because of all your other stuff and everything you've been doing
i'm sorry i'm gonna cry i'm sorry froggy it was supposed to be just a joke i'm sorry i'm sorry
i'm sorry so we're the second best right we're the second best right so this is what happens uh you
guys are doing a fantastic display only because of that you're getting a lot of customers now coming
to you but it's really hard to try to get them to stay in or so so you're not doing as great as you
wanted but because of all of your efforts and all of your good roles previously you're doing well but
not as good as you could be doing now we're gonna roll for fevinon oh no he's a flat d20 he oh i saw
that 20 wink at me he also rolled pretty bad eight he's like come on now please it's it's it's
boongard it's it's boongard come please it tastes so good you know all these other
all these other robbing people lovely partakers of wine i just i just had an idol remembering
did anyone else get hit up by that guy who was selling the totally not spider eggs but we're
actually spider eggs oh no
oh i don't like that so peck pock now gets the role we ain't getting to ride on the airship man
and peck pock also rolls terrible why do we all suck so peck pock rolled a four and so
i have shinies i have various things you see everyone seems to be struggling but you guys
are out of all of them are doing okay shat shat i want you to shat shant potato boy
potato boy oh you bought potato boy out he's close out of the market yeah now you destroyed
you you got rid of that competition we've we've got but he's on our team now he gets to roll how many
cool things no we're using the potatoes you want to make that a narrative declaration you didn't i
didn't count your other place okay all right take it away you have no more hero points let's see what
potato boy rolls
a seven
there's nothing's higher than a potato boy rolls a seven and he's like you want a potato all right
all right as he run away no salesmanship as he's trying to sell a couple more i tried so hard
this is a tough crowd so so the next float appears the next float appears and what you all see is a an
array of amazing people and you see that it is a representation of the benefactors guild the benefactors
guild helps a lot of people here in the city of outset and you see all of them are kind of walking
around with uh with signs they're out for them uh they're gonna go for their title such as uh subscriber
of the orc dare you and roldrick and neo spectre and heavy hop polite and mr and mystere meme and so
and then in picatee and duke of the mania little alien ironclad golf um all of these amazing people
uh and more who like to go like to go to this place of patreon all this other stuff
at picture.com first last narrative declaration this is their float and they are basically going
as much as we shield that's it they are actually in our lore pdf so the benefactors guild is an
actual thing i'm just hamming it up a little bit but they begin to uh to rock on by you see them all in
these excellent looking uniforms they're all riding horses they're having the flags uh with
them with their names on it and there seems to be a big animal display that they're bringing with
them on the float the smallest the smallest actual hope in the dark uh reality that is rotgrime
and as they're coming through it's time to sell more and now to make this a little bit easier i'm
gonna go to uh you all can either contribute together i'm gonna go to one of you um someone
comes over named jiff and basically goes like hey hey uh that little rat folk person said you uh
have some nice yummies over here i would love some yummies for my tummies what you have for me
we got all sorts of stuff we got kebabs we got coffee we got cakes we got teas like come right on in
oh that's too much variety for me i need something simple and i don't like making decisions so i'll
look at your sign and wait in order and the person and the person stands there and doesn't
fucking make a decision for quite a while and then a line starts to form behind them oh my god they're
like maybe i should get that no i recommend the kebab with with spice i i don't like spice okay no
spice how about no spice we have a special on just boiled potato and i don't want it to be boring
i thought you wanted okay
out of the actual wagon and stares at this person and goes you boss you right there i make something
special special for you okay i will make this special for you just for you my friend and then
he starts just he makes an actual just regular kebab
you see jiff will take it pay you some money and they're going thanks and then goes away accepts
whatever food was given to them grace just like just throws her arms up like what
you see you see a couple come in uh one of them named i'm gonna grab this person one of them named
uh mr meme you know a love a lovely woman comes on by carrying in tow uh you believe their partner
um basically another a lovely individual coming in uh this is gonna be holding hands and they come up and
go like what do you want to eat i don't know and the other partner is uh let me see uh heavy hop polite
uh mr meme mr meme and heavy hop polite join hands together come up to the cart and go oh what do you
want to eat i don't know um what do you want to eat i don't know you decide like i don't know
grill grill kind of like lean over she's like we do have plates to share but we don't know what we
want to eat i mean she waves to the menu i can't decide what do you want to eat oh my god kill my
fucking pain i've had this deal with so many people when i go hey i'm hungry what do you want to eat
you just hear to leave in the distance just like then starve
uh beetle to avoid dealing with this keeps playing his grass kazoo and throwing it back
so so uh at this point like uh to lean you know like he he's got the coffee and everything going um
and actually lean out he's like i have something that the both of you will more than likely enjoy
something that you can share together with your partner oh how does that sound oh well what's that
i we don't like making decisions or how about this how about i take some of these fine potatoes that we
have some of the best in the land i take these up i cut these into strips i spice them i put them on a
plate we top it with a little bit of spiced meat some little green for vibrancy and perhaps a nice
drink for both do something to cool your heart in the hot weather of a parade
is that what we want
they both they both nod and go we'll go with that um but roll me diplomacy though
oh god oh chat this is this is
oh i got a 20. that's a 20. they both confirm again and nod they'll take the food and drink and
head on back all right god so like to lean will actually you know slice the potatoes up you know
like uh spice them prime up everything put a little bit of the sliced meat on top it gives the most
both um like cool things of tea but as he does um he will use a touch of frost to condense
uh the moisture in the air into little ice hearts that fall into the glass and handed both to them
oh cute they hold hands and go off
they remember slowly addicted to caffeine i mentioned a lot of people
they didn't get coffee for that one i mentioned a lot of people for the float and stuff but if
anybody else wants to be named now's the time to sub because another float arrives
another floats arrive and you and you're hearing um it's like a weird animatronic like one you see
there are people like with with poles kind of like moving its mouth up and down and you're hearing
it like there's some telling me you could just tell natively someone's casting like a bullhorn or
like uh a spell to enhance their voice as every time the mouth goes open all that they hear
is it going oh yuck and you see i mean it's better than it going gregory
and you see this big tooth like buck tooth weird looking dog cartoon thing all lit up with tons of
tons of like little magical like lights all adorting it and everything else he's like gorge
gray looks a little offended
question yes can i um i have no narrative declaration points to give
can we officially call this thing whatever it is the goon
no wait no no no no salty yeah goonie yeah goonie yeah i think i just laughed so hard i'm going
lightheaded oh my god it's goonie favorite mascot of of of of of of beloved icon that children's all
over uh outside a door it's always fun when i go with the fire royalty free like photos and stuff and
everything else and uh did i find this shit and i'm like yeah i'll use it it's him it's goonie longlegs
i mean i i remember when raccoons used to be a thing before you know like disney uh copyright
struck them in their you know yeah yeah but that's goonie long legs good times yeah yeah
so so as it's passing by you know as it's passing by let's see uh you see you see that there uh is a
kind of like uh a very distinguished gentleman will now come up to your cart uh or actually with the new
cart we need to roll the c how well everyone's doing oh so gray i need you to roll me a flat d20 and
because you're doing so well on sales and doing performances everything else is a plus four to this
flat d20 okay um please roll me that please there's a plus four to it no you can't re-roll it i'm throwing
myself on the ground i quit you can't re-roll it that is a natural why
it's technically higher than before did not say anything i kept my mouth shut this time i was just
like nope shut up i'm not saying anything and bye oh merciful gm please let me use a hero point no that's
part of our roles for complications so because of how weird this one is um
so offended by the the flow so i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna take this one this one uh this works
probably in a while for this one to kind of be used so thank you so much if you too want to submit
a complication result um to our campaign that gets put into a big pool you can go to patreon.com
first last narrative declaration to make the player suffer because if they're if you're allowed
to give them hero points you're allowed to mess them up so um i'm gonna take this one from uh
uh guy masterson or from guy mad ourselves exactly thank you guy masterson for your patreon submission
uh i'm gonna edit your sink because you made it kind of specific for the rock ring campaign but we're
gonna change it up a bit just for this one called saucer bombardment so what a saucer is if people
haven't watched the watch the rock grind campaign think of an owl with a like a bone saw blade that
comes out of their chest they're like fey creatures and you see a couple of them start coming up oh look
at you you little fox it's like it's like oh you're gonna cook things huh you're gonna cook some of our
friends were you we think you're gonna just be you know cooking and all about all of us even though
you're not you know but they suspect that you are and they're like we'll just mess you all up huh
we'll mess up your cart oh this is all perch spot and you're not on territory
fuck you and your little dog too they go like they start doing passes by like with their saw blades going
like and they start messing up your cards that's how i'm gonna manipulate but thank you so much sky
masters for that one oh no i'm really sad time to pull out the crossbow gray and unfortunately because
that some customers run away going ah they're cursed you know and they go away from your cart a bit
now let's see how fevinon is doing he gets just a flat d20 he rolls a 16. i quit he's like please come
oh look at these profits oh you know he's having a grand old time um you will see what peck pock is
doing peck pock makes a roll it's a two please play my stuff oh no baby man
peck pock kind of cries a little bit little rat tears oh no but your potato mancer
that's your uh the save the save makes a roll a 17 higher the fevinon and you start noticing uh
regardless of the saucer attack on your car and messing it up a little bit um uh basically the
potato man she's like oh if you want more potatoes they prep them for you for really good food and people
start rushing towards your cart because you bought them out mcdonald's fries have been
you know what you because of his role and don't worry i was i was prepping for this with the illusion
of the boil water thing uh the greg the potato mancer comes up to your guys car and goes hey guys
look what i've found and you see that he produces basically for our version of french fries but he has
fried potato sticks and he presents them all to you all and he goes like what do i call them
what's your name dude it's craig it's a potato mancer you met him yeah yeah dude uh what do you
want to be called you're a wizard oh i'm sorry my bad you're asking for his name the reference with
my bad i didn't get it what's your western name uh i don't have a wizard name my name's just greg
hi so call him gregers calling gregers gregers do you
he's like okay leave like leans out of windows like golden gregers
oh i like that alliteration golden gregers okay uh i'll start making them on mine and then i'll tell
them to come pay here yeah thank you greg okay to leave like does a thing where like you lean out
in the hallway and do the thumbs up all right so with that you start getting a lot more business
buying golden gregers watch that be it i need i need to i need to look that up to see what gregers
means hold up gregers definition uh well there's gregor which is or gregor is a noise-making device
most commonly a ratchet used to make noise by the congregation when the name home on is read during the
recitation of i'm gonna butcher these names it's already in the synagogue during the celebration of
pyramid okay um uh gregor uh is also just a um gregor is typically like a i think it's a very bad grog
and just a last name yeah it's like look it's not it's not a racist or offensive thing uh yeah that's
all we need that's all i care about okay we're good so regardless of that you start selling that you
start making a ton more profit so excellent excellent job um me crying on the floor slowly
giving a thumbs up yay you see more people come up um you see a group of people one uh my name jurors
comes up someone named like milkshots moo comes up another person named dresden comes up another
person called dirt eason frisser comes up to you all say all wanting food um for all of you uh you can try
to convince them in some way i ask you all to either do like a performance check a diplomacy or
anything food related like crafting or your cooking lore roll those for me and see if you're gonna make
some cells all right let me get a performance roll in i will utilize my crafty
i want to do cooking but i've already done that so if anything i want to use uh performance okay
yeah i'll just join beetle in throwing it back yeah beetle's not cooking beetle is trying to pull
people no no he is cooking oh i see okay yeah it's not that kind of cooking i don't know i got a total of
13. i got a total of 24 my crafting check i got a total of 24 on my performance check excellent beetle you
want to do a performance oh sure i got a total of 19 excellent so with all of that they all succumb to
your salesmanship and performance everything else and you make more money they all come in with you
all and the floats begins to head off money tons of people around you hear the look yep yep yep just
disappear off into the distance gray has been like forcing her performance because she's just very
very offended by the flow as everything is all nice and cherry i'm like yeah hey yippee you know but now
that float is gone it's time to make another roll uh to basically see how well you all are doing now for
this one you guys get a plus six to this because you've been making sales doing all sorts of things
so who wants to roll it i'm the only one that haven't then you roll it i don't say that with a
happy face though i heard your like face in your hands yeah i can do it do it salty do it plus one right
no plus six six plus six all right cool okay here we go
okay i rolled a nine for a total of 15 pure skill excellent okay so we're gonna roll for fevinon
the asshole wine merchant he rolls a nine for with no bonuses oh well just come on now try the ale
please you know uh peck pock's having a real bad time and peck pock makes a roll it rolls only an eight
i saw that 20. in fact they sold a couple things here and there uh just like you know very disappointed in
the hall um but now for a potato mancer let's see how well potato mancer's been helping you guys out
potato mancer rolled a 10. so your sales have been excellent you so far from what you've been able to
see throughout the parade fevinol has definitely made some cash uh you could obviously tell um but
if i don't wish he could have sold more you know it's not the best turnout but you feel fevinol made profit
uh you bought out the potato mancer um so potato mancers helped you out a ton uh peck pock has not
broken even so from what you can tell so peck pock unfortunately did not do well uh today and
because of that uh because those results you notice um fevinol start going like well then if if what
comes to show like i suppose and you see fevinol will take out these trays of these little rocks on
the trays and put them down on the table peck pock also does the same and puts it down and you notice
from across the way on the other side of the crowd the other stalls and stuff doing things
you notice people have been selling them those little rocks that you notice from before that one
salesman tried to sell it to you and they all seem to be uh selling those things and you guys aren't
the potato mancer uh does not have any of them oh oh oh no oh god
wait yeah if those aren't properly cooked they oh no yeah yeah and we can shoot and we know this
so we can choose to not say anything to anyone
is it time for the power of petty yeah of course of course
so like harmless consumers die
so as capitalism baby what'd you guys like to do
guys aren't aren't those and we don't points
i even in the stalls across the street we have to do something hard looks over at them and goes yeah
just tell people not to buy them tell them they're disgusting it's the truth and then he turns back
he just pulls out fries from you know from the golden greggers yeah the golden greggers
and uh beetle will drop his flags and his dance moves and hop down and skitter roll me an
acrobatics check the crowd has grown quite big recently and so you have to try and maneuver through
very tall people is this the is this where is this where slither comes in
i will allow it that's a 16 for a total of 21 yeah you can you can slither through some
excellent you you're able to slither past everybody and all been between their legs
and you can make it the peck pock huh what always wait wait for what those are those are eggs it's
full of spiders these and he points to the rocks you got those from a guy right from another guy
who had him in a sack yeah yeah they seem to be in front of you uh no i i didn't try any myself either
he told me not to eat them he tried to sell them to us and to show them that they were like tasty
fine candy and he he tossed some into his own mouth and as he was chewing them and they burst spiders
were coming out of them they're they could be super dangerous don't careful you don't feed those to
people you know how to get rid of them uh uh here i'll take them okay and he hands you the box
and or the tray or the one train seven hands them to you okay so now that beetle has the box he's going
to have to make it back with the box yes so you rolled me an acrobatics check yeah okay
oh i got an idea oh oh seven oh no oh no can i use a hero point you sure can okay i'm gonna use my last hero point
okay
there you go okay okay that's a total of 20. excellent so you make it by just fine yeah i don't want beetle to stop at the cart
he keeps low and quiet and kind of down to the ground and i want him to scurry around
all the way to uh poor guy's wine cart over here okay poor guy and since there's a good crowd i don't know if
you'll want me to roll stealth maybe for this or something but i want him to tuck the box like kind of
he'll come in over here like away from the guy and tuck the box in with the bottles
okay i want him to plant the box just in the in the bottles okay uh go ahead and roll me go ahead and roll me thievery
oh yeah go ahead and roll me thievery for this also you have good cover from your height in the crowds and stuff
okay they're trying to plant this when chat has to scramble to give froggy another hero point just in case
oh my god
oh my god oh my god oh
mr make me
literally did
oh my god
i know
take this take this now
say it say it froggy
say the funny when you plant
the rocks the eggs
So I'm like super blind and I can't find thievery. What the heck is wrong with me?
It's at the bottom.
Oh, it's the light. I'm like, it's not here.
Sorry, Froggy. It's in alphabetical order.
Yeah.
That's a total of 21, but I rolled a 19.
That'll do it.
Say it. Say it, Froggy. Say it.
Beetle moves some bottles and tucks the box away in them and moves the bottles back into place and then turns and scurries away.
I'm in.
Bugs. Bugs have been planted.
Problem solved. Bugs planted.
All right. So you scurry on back.
More customers have arrived.
Oh, God. He gets up and goes back to dancing.
There were no eggs.
You cannot help with this one, Froggy.
You cannot help with this one. Yeah, you cannot help with this one.
It has no eggs, right?
Yes.
It has no eggs.
Basically, you're not going to help with these rolls, Froggy, because you're too busy doing Metal Gear Solid shit.
Everybody else, though, you see basically someone come up and then identify themselves as Inside Outlander and another person named Chet Twitch Spirit.
Now, this Twitch Spirit looks weird.
It's a dwarf that just looks at you all, just stares at you.
Like rich person stares at us?
Does he just stare and does he does this kind of like faceless smile?
There he is.
If you look on the Twitch stream on the video player, so you'll see.
Oh.
Yeah, you'll see this dwarf kind of like a fur clothing kind of just kind of like medium armor type of thing holding a big axe.
And he looks cute.
He has like a little like kind of like a little horned helmet on and stuff.
Big old beard and stuff.
A little fur lining kind of like neck back piece and stuff.
And these cute little fur boots and everything.
It just he just looks at you all and you notice just like behind as if you're just looking at his eyes.
He speaks nothing.
Not a single thing.
And you could just tell he's fighting demons behind his eyes because there's a million voices just fighting in there.
Hey, Chet, this is you.
What do you want to order?
Oh my God!
Chet, what do you want to order?
So I'm going to do a...
My eyes is a legion of demons.
Oh, fuck.
You can't sudden charge.
No, you can't.
So I want to give you guys four options here.
What does Chet do?
So I'm trying to get through all these bits.
So they contain the episode.
I'm so sorry.
I'm saying so long.
Oh, that's okay.
We might go a bit over.
So please forgive me for taking you guys time.
No, we're fine.
So basically you can order food and drink.
Walk away.
Green.
Do a back flip.
He does not speak.
Do a back flip.
Attack the cart.
Or stare.
So...
He just stands there and silently screams.
Just mouth open.
Looking at the heavens.
Pleading for some God to show themselves.
I'm trying to...
Pet the dog!
Sorry.
I'm trying to get it all figured out here.
I'm so sorry, Chet.
It hurts!
It hurts!
It hurts!
There you go.
Here's the funny thing.
You can do one through four there to vote.
And if you too want to vote on he who funny things,
you can vote over at twitch.tv for slash narrative declaration.
If you're watching this on YouTube or listening to this on podcast.
Also, shout out to the people who ate something when Salty was describing food earlier.
Oh no!
Cause it made him hungry.
It made me hungry too.
Is it not working?
Hold up.
Oh no!
Is it not moving?
Huh.
That's weird.
Hold up.
Oh, that's right.
It's on my channel.
Hold up.
Do you have a connected to your channel?
I can get it.
I can get this fixed.
Hold up.
I was wondering why it wasn't working.
I was like, oh, I did it again.
I did it again.
Uh, what does Chet do?
You don't have to go to my, my chat.
I'll fix it.
Uh, order.
Some people would say that this is not good content for VODs and radio and whatever.
Yeah.
But this is not the episode for that.
This is the episode for streams.
This is the episode for you, Shan.
This is for you.
And every single moment that you ever wanted to be a part of the episode,
ever wanted to be a part of anything.
This is the moment that you get to do that.
Wow.
Listen, if you just stare at us or buy food or whatever,
maybe you get to vote to pet the dog thing or attack the cart.
Who knows?
There we go.
Now I got to fix it.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
All right.
So currently the voting process is number one is order food and drink.
Number two is just walk away.
Three is just do a back flip or four.
Just stare at him.
So far staring at him wins.
He's winning right now.
Why do you like this chat?
At least do a back flip.
All right.
I want to count from 10 chat.
I'm going to close the voting.
So 10, actually I want to count from 10.
You, one of you guys like we're going for the order.
It is on stream of from me, heart, uh, beetle to lean gray.
You guys count down.
Wait, I'll go 10.
Heart goes nine.
Beetle does eight.
See if you guys could actually do it.
So I'm going to count down.
When we get the zero, uh, we're going to end it.
So 10.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Zero.
You're done.
Stare at them.
This dwarf just stares at you.
Beetle looks terrified.
Great looks very uneasy.
Um, would you like food or drink?
We, she's just like, she's not sure what to do here.
Cause it's just staring.
This dwarf is just staring.
There's nothing.
No or something.
Nothing's there.
Oh my God.
Kaleem just stares back.
Because he doesn't need to blink.
Hey buddy, are you interested in some bits and bobs?
Are you interested in some bits and bobs?
Are you interested in some bits and bobs?
Are you interested in some bits and bobs?
Are you really good?
The dwarf turns to you, just like, just slowly turn.
And when it looks dead straight into your eyes, all you're just imagining, it's like
World War II footage, black and white.
Like, just like fate, opacity, low.
Just plan.
You see the whole thing.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
That's your opacity, low?
Just plan.
You see the horrors through his eyes.
Merci, please.
Chet hit Beatle with the Ben and Stare.
Beatle Stopped talking.
And so after all that, Chet leaves.
Chet just walks away and inside outlander just get some food and walks and go sit down.
are you sure they don't explode all the spiders and skidder away?
away i kind of like the i kind of like that idea that oh my god so discorporates into a pile of
spiders and skitters across the street so with all that so sorry chat that i can't fit everybody
in but thank you all so much for your subs and stuff but now but now another float begins to come
in yeah chet twitch spirit is in chat i spent money for this bit please subscribe to narrative
decoration did i do good father so we love you chet finding great sport for context vaud and
and uh podcast listeners so someone in our community has renamed themselves the twitch
chat twitch beard which was a uh chat plays pathfinder 2e thing that we did a little more
chat basically voted on a bunch of options to play pathfinder 2e and so they like the dwarf so much
so they did those that so um so the the bring in the seating everything's going great you're
confident in everything uh your your cart's doing absolutely wonderful you screwed over wine guy
you bought out potato mancer pack box having a bad time uh brog's been keeping a lot of people away
you've noticed brog's kind of like you know beat up a couple thieves here and there brogs kept you guys
safe so good thing you brought brog all your outfits and stuff really brought in more business
all your food and stuff has been the talk of everyone in that section a lot of business has
been coming i bring brog his lunch brog eats it happily so but as things are going things kind of
shift the the music and stuff begins to die off people slowly but surely just stop cheering
it's like a lot quieter now as everyone is just hushed as they see a figure from far off begin to
make their way forward and as they're on their way
if i can i don't know if this is going to be appropriate or not but
it'll work you see another float come by i don't have a huge graphic for it but
you see that there's a large subset of people soldiers carrying large spears and stuff with a
kind of half cape cape come by and you notice that some of these beings have heads of crystal
they begin to start marching down but who they are escorting
is someone riding up top this amalgamation of hands and like these crystals kind of like on this
like flat platform where these hands are kind of extended out and you see this tall just reverent figure
uh riding atop this crude contraption of hands and just kind of skittering for it all in sync
escorted by a large troop of soldiers kind of headed up by a robed individual also with a crystal head
and you see these beings that are coming by the soldiers seem to be of different ancestries or so
not all like human or so but of different ancestry sometimes gnolls goblins orcs things like that
but those that are that of crystal uh you notice let me see if i get one of these you see this one
kind of at the head uh holding up a crystal ball basically um just kind of just holding it up just
kind of in the middle of them casting force casting forth the light and you notice all the confetti
that is around you uh all of the confetti that has been falling and all the little sparkles and
stuff that has been going down begins to change they begin to burn but they don't cause any fire they
don't cause anything to cause any alarm they just simply begin to burn them in a brilliance of light
as they begin to come by and you see people start snatching them when they can harsh stomach
yes starts glowing yeah and uh just try to snatch these things when they can um as if they're trying
to grab blessings or miracles as this guy comes by and he's going to shake great that's
and he's going to point great nods just firmly just mm-hmm yeah and everyone is quiet or so and
you see some of the guards start to kind of push some people away going please please it's like i'm
fairly sick you please help me everyone just starts um like slowly but surely in a roar and some of the
soldiers kind of put them away because rumor has gone around that cardinan can get help with things can
cure various things can try to fix people but curtain pays people no mind but as curtain begins
to start getting near midway nearly past your card and also to show off uh curtain and artwork here
salty you did a wonderful job on this artwork you see curtain and in this long form bro one side of a
big sleeve of another clothes the hands uh that you see that curtain and has in the torso or basically
you can see it's all of metal metal and sort of skeletal arching metal strips kind of deform
his limbs or so and you see a big crystal orb just kind of in his chest and then an elongated neck in a
uh humanoid like head shape but it's sheen it's like it's it's smooth basically like a helmet and a
radiant crown that's atop of him and the thing that he is riding it's once again this flat platform
it has multiple of these crystals in there and in closer inspection you notice skulls in each of
these orbs along with these little kind of like gremlin like people who seem to be like constantly
maintaining this thing anytime curtain and needs to um like motion for something or grab for a thing you
see these things quickly just scurry up and hand him this thing they're like uh little servants for
him um but as he is getting closer and closer to your guy's cart you all start to hear screams
oh ah you all begin to hear screams sort of a terror begins to go around like a lot of people just
like i can't even belate a good scream i'm just like oh fuck everywhere oh shit you know like everything
else and what you notice is that oh my oh goodness me you hear bottles smashing everything else and you
notice that it's not spiders that come out of it all it's not spiders who start to burst out from those
for zoom eggs it is it is rot flies you start to see these things spring up on all the carts extra
more and fevinons as the extra box you planted explodes you see these various swarms come out and
unfortunately you notice some people just go just fall to their knees and start vomiting these things
oh no just and basically these swarms begin to just basically just come out of certain people's mouths
and everything else thinking some people ate these some people have been enjoying the so-called delights
that the seller went and um and you notice all of your customers behind your cart begins to run away
and scream or so as there is an individual behind you all clapping just
and you see he vomits his black viscous just goo you know as he begins to walk up
up to your guy's cart like he goes you heard of me so much but everyone's together with this
and you see that there are uh two members you notice these guys have bruises or so these kind of gang
members probably seem to beat them up but they too have just this black viscous stuff just kind of coming
out of their mouth and everything else and you see these citizens here just like oh god and they
all begin to run away um from this guy and like trying to avoid all these rot flies and everything
else hiding behind your cart for safety and you notice none of the guards come to help any final
rot fly kind of comes here to get past the road they do their very best to kind of stop them there but
they do not go out into the crowd to help and neither does any pertinent soldiers
and what you see is the flamboyant salesman who tried to sell you all of this walk up to all of
you in your cart and go like oh it's so good to see a familiar face he's gripping his chest you know
it hey you're really making it hard for us to go see curtain in buddy you already see him
and baby he's gonna help us he was gonna help us and you're ruining our business
beetle we have bigger problems beetle pulls out his gazelle
okay you take care of your gazelle what do you do i'm not gonna draw initiative here i'll let you
guys we're all playing through this okay he points it at him okay he just laughs and
you see like just bits of his flesh just kind of just turning this black viscous just falling off
shooting him isn't gonna fix this
he ate them too they all did you all eat them are you crazy you're gonna die why would you do that
you have no response they're just simply just coughing up this black viscous goo or so so what do you
guys do panic internally are there any crates around like big crates uh that people have maybe used to
carry their wares originally even crates that we used uh uh roll me a perception check okay
that is a total of 21. okay yeah uh as you're looking at you do find several crates some open some not
heart brog we gotta get them locked up in some crates or something before they pop with more bugs
heart takes off his apron and walks out of the cart just bowing to get out of the opening
i don't like you i don't like i didn't like i didn't like you from the moment i saw you
not because of how you act it's because i mean buddy you're kind of rotten oh my god
he spits out this black viscous goo at near at your feet
he starts to scurry and beg for help to try and trap people who haven't popped yet into boxes so
maybe the swarms could be contained okay uh i'll have you i'll have you take care of that like uh
some people that you have served or so like kind of go like okay okay i'll help i did any of that
stuff you know and some it's some people who have come and bought stuff from you begin to help people
like if you ate that stuff you need to get this box yeah yeah yeah this barrel yeah yeah quarantine
it's like you need a vomit right now um what is anybody else doing uh gray's gonna go check on uh
pickpock okay you are several the pickpock pickpock is hiding behind uh his stash of stuff and everything
you know just terrified go ahead no good oh i was gonna say um uh clean uh will basically you know
vault out the the side of it and uh look at brog and um for those uh who are not helping
he's like he's like he's like once those who have eaten have uh have been contained evacuate the
people that way and like he'll point um towards uh pickpock he's like brog i need you to get these
people out of here if we start fighting we have no idea the damage it will cause
as a brog will look at you like all right all right i'll start helping people okay and um he'll
start trying to evacuate people who believe it's not gonna burst or anything he starts getting them
all out yeah like um and feeling ported towards like uh where uh gray went with uh pickpock where
it doesn't look like there's any swarms or anything around there yet okay cool so um heart you did that
seems with that beally helping with people with all the efforts going through you um all the efforts
you're going about you are all because of your actions you begin to save lives you notice the
the charlatan basically this guy this just messed up salesman before um basically just kind of seems
to be decomposing live before you you know maybe it's just like he just kind of just slumps into this
black goo or so and just it just settles there but you've noticed as you guys have been doing that that
kurdanan has just stopped and has been observing observing everything uh obviously all the soldiers
and stuff around him have their spears up and kind of their left arm up as well um the conservator the
one orbed individual the one crystal individual is just kind of uh just waiting well within the ring
of soldiers just keeping an eye on things but just not seemingly do much all the um outset guards are kind
of keeping people through and you see that kurdanan from everybody that's doing everything looks to
all of you and you hear and you don't quite hear it but feel it as you feel something of like yes
i believe you will do and you see that he will uh simply motion with one of motion with his hand grab
the staff that the little gremlins hand to him and he will just go
and then this platform that he's on all the orbs on it basically radiate and whoosh like this big just
wave of energy basically just washes over everything all these rot flies just start to disintegrate
just gone gone gone gone gone but the and as they all basically just get washed away and some of the
people who still had stuff inside just basically collapse you or so and you see several of the people
that you tried to save and contain them basically just out cold or so and you see that kurdanan will
look to all of you and let me change this so we're not in combat mode right now
so kurdanan will motion for everyone to go forward
all of his troops are so you'll see that they will they will split away here let me
right up here they'll split away and you also see that the charlatan that was there as he
decomposed along with his uh compatriots they're all basically just fade off and just get disintegrated
by the blast and for you to lean you would notice that he casted a three action heal spell
and you'll notice that if any of you had any cuts or bruises from preparing your meals or
or anything else like that that you've seen fine you feel great even uh like a yeah so if you
have any damage to you now's the time to heal it
does it fix my arthritis you feel great i got carpal tunnel bam it's good
i can do backflips how does teleem feel it's like teleem like you
you still the same so the same like you're still ghostly and everything else but you feel
as alive as you can be
did you notice kurdanan will step off from his platform there and you will see that he will
step on by all these people part away uh just trying to get out of his way as he comes up to your
card um and you'll see that he'll stand before you all and goes i am looking for
individuals such as yourselves i would appreciate if i could meet you all better in the future
um your bravery here to at least help when all everyone else decided to scurry has piqued my interest
i am you want an autograph
beat all the blood shoots out of beetle he goes from this like teal color to just like gray like you know
when lizards shed their skin like his skin just immediately like crackles and dies like
and he's all pale and white he's just like standing stiff rigid in a case of his own shedded skin
like gray's over my my pack box and she's just like she kind of calls over thank you we would
appreciate that you great you could have have moved over during this time i could have but
um i wish you could move your character closer and stuff it's okay um
basically he will uh look at you all and go i would love to know your names i as for me this vessel
is curtain and i am the head of the conservants here for the kingdom of dun
um i would like to know whom you are and he'll point uh to gray first
um i am gray crocus it is an honor
uh you'll see he'll slowly kind of nod forward his hands are kind of together
um he will look to heart and go and you are
heart uh has pulled out a um
one of the bricks from the ground and he has just
licked his thumb he has scraped in his name on it and now that he can read and write he wants to flex
this as much as possible and he just holds out the brick towards him like my name is heart here's your
signature you see he will look at it and if he had a face uh he would be he would squint at the words
it's uh it's it's a collectible
he kind of goes thank you haunt and he'll nod to one of the um uh little guys basically near him
with a little servant so though one of them will come up grab it from you and then kind of walk back and
stand behind him i love you heart oh my god he will then turn and look all the way down to you
so you know this guy towers over all of you he is extreme think of like football like like i'm
listening i'm like 10 feet tall basically this guy is massive fire yeah yeah aspire yeah he is he is
he is a tower um he kind of leans down and looks all the way down to you beetle and goes and who are
you beetle's wings open and all the shed skin like falls off him like broken glass like just like
crumbles apart and hits the ground by his feet it's all dusted and his new like reptile skin is all nice
and shiny and shiny and his eyes are bugging out they're gyrating a little bit he looks so scared
he's like a beetle's above sir it's an honor he'll nod and then he looks uh to you to lean and he goes
i did not know we had somebody who also believe in conservance who are you
uh to lean will actually uh give him a deep bow and uh take a hand and put it over the badge that he
wears um at the top corner of his chest and he was to lean shabura a humble merchant a man of alchemy
and magic he will he'll also nod to you as an acknowledgement um and he will say i would like to
invite you to invite you to a private dinner if you don't mind i would enjoy the company of those who
like to conserve life now limo uh stand up and be like it would be my honor i conserve
he looks at the rest of you to get a confirmation beetle's nodding he can't breathe
it gives one solid nod heart crosses his arms and squints at him a little bit like
yeah that we could do that yeah yeah thank you credit edge
he doesn't say anything back to you uh he will simply uh bring his hand down uh not even looking
as one of the little guys kind of gives him an envelope he grabs it still kind of looking at all
of you and then brings it forward for your one of you to take it from his hand
beetle comes up and takes it
and then bows and like kind of sing but he moonwalks back but he doesn't he just walks like a
backward skitter yeah he like up back
that paper will give you access to the suite that the assembly is allowing me to stay at
there is a event that is happening soon and i wouldn't want to miss it and it's always delightful to
attend it with those who are like minded i would love for you to join me for dinner during this event
and to learn more of you and to help you if i can
thank you that would be wonderful that would be amazing he will nod and um and as he kind of turns
away um you feel his words mostly because you don't see any mouth moving or anything um and as he does so
once more similar to the other ones that you've met you see the crystal that is in his chest
you see not one skull but sort of an assortment like several different skulls kind of like peek
up as he speaks sometimes um and then fade away inside and he will begin to walk away and go i will
send an escort to help lead you to where we stay this vessel thanks you and he will bow to all of you
and then he will go back to his vessel to his little walkie crawly vehicle thing
our vessels thank you bye
there's like he's a cringe you say it would just start shrunk just regret it in bed later on
he's like you too have a good meal you too yeah yeah yeah during during this time you notice a lot of the
soldiers have been collecting the people who uh who passed away um due to the broth flies exploding in
their innards and stuff and then vomiting them up um you see you see that they have been kind of like
put off to the side or so um and you see curtain animal nod to one of the uh conservators there and
you'll see that he will basically walk over to some of the craze that you've done um instruct some of
the soldiers and some of the little gremlin guys and and kind of in a grotesque way uh gather them uh
take the bodies and stuff um and then shepherd them away not on the parade floor but they kind of go
further into the back alleys and stuff and help dispose of the bodies basically and the conservator
goes with them um but the parade continues as a previous float comes in behind and as if a
bit of a whiplash of tone um is of a like weird figure holding up a giant mutton
and you see it is this individual have a crown yes and you see that is a big old letter saying mutton king
and and it says button king the fet the festival and the parade goes off without a hitch afterwards you
guys are able to sell off nearly everything in your cart but one final roll one final roll for
everybody uh fevedon gets a minus 15 to this roll he rolled a natural one
so fevedon goes empty due to the unfortunate of selling all those things and such um fevedon is out
just ruined what's that guy can i use a narrative decoration to make uh to make it so that fevedon
was one of the individuals blamed for this just solely for the amount of life that appeared from his
from his stall absolutely wonderful he is taken away in chains
all right for peck pock let's see if peck pock makes it because you took the crate from peck pock
of all those uh exploding thingies peck pock gets a plus five of this roll
natural 20. yay peck pock gets a natural 20. peck pock sells nearly all of his stuff after a massive
failure of rolls before peck pock is able to make up everything we love to see it let's go king
and now for the potato mancer i'll roll a flat d20 if it's over 10 you guys get a bonus
it is a 14. yay i saw that 20 peak and i was like no way
now for all of you for all of you all of us have to roll right let's uh let's make let's make it a
group effort okay okay let's make it a group effort let's see um let's go by um i'm trying to think of
the math here okay let's let's do it this way let's let's make it a d6 because it's easier to read that
way all of you roll me one d6 and if you roll higher than a three so you're one four or five
or six pretty much a 50 50. yeah uh four or five or six sorry kova cough that um let's see you were
able to sell off everything everything in the card completely sold out and made max profit
if all of you make it if you only half of you succeed you did just what you needed if none of
you get over it you got some extras okay okay all right everyone roll your d6
that's a six that's a six that's a one that's a six
oh my god and because of the potato mancer you will get an extra d6
it's a three but regardless three of you made sixes and because of how it is you guys did wonderful
and you guys did well and you helped out the almas you have succeeded in your quest and you have an
invite from curdinand to meet him at a private dinner with him congratulations that is where we're gonna end it
oh my god i have waited so long for this episode and it went perfectly
thank you all so much for watching thank you chat uh so much for watching this episode you can always
catch it on youtube a week later from patreon you'll get it really quick and of course join
the fun here on twitch.tv forward slash narrative declaration uh if it's okay for me to summarize
we get everybody out here thank you minerva so much please follow her on social media thank you so
much for playing gray thank you cabal for playing to lean thank you so very much follow him at cabal
thank you froggy lock look out froggy lock on social and everything for playing beetle
thank you salty job for doing amazing art here and everything else please follow such a salty job on
their socials and thank you for playing heart you all did absolutely wonderful thank you chat for being
a good player today and and i've been your host and game master for this evening thank you all so very
much and we will see you next time on a new exciting episode of rotgoon so long and good night
bye bye everybody and remember cream on the inside clean on the outside
oh my god