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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to another edition of Happening in Upland, the only podcast that actually gives a shit about what's going on in this sun-drenched concrete hellscape. I'm Mark, your host who's currently debating whether the air quality today is better or worse than a pack of unfiltered cigarettes.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, coming to you with my usual dose of caffeinated cynicism. It's Monday, February 2nd, 2026, and if you haven't already ruined your New Year's resolutions, don't worry, the local traffic will do it for you. We've got a lot to get through today, so don't be a dick, just stay tuned and listen to us complain about things we can't change.
MARK: Look, we love this city, we really do. It's got character, which is just a nice way of saying some of the buildings look like they were designed by a blind architect in 1974. But hey, it's our city. If you're new here, go ahead and subscribe, leave a comment, or send us a hate-filled email at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We read all of them, mostly while drinking heavily.
JOLEEN: Absolutely. If you don't like, subscribe, and share this with your annoying neighbor who keeps leaving their trash cans out for three days, you're part of the problem. We're here to be your voice, even if that voice is mostly just screaming into the void of the Inland Empire. Now, let's get into some actual news before I lose my mind.
MARK: Starting off with our top headlines, the Pipeline Upland Memorial Skate Park is apparently still the place to be. We've seen a massive surge in kids and adults alike hitting the park lately. It's become a bit of a haven, which is great, because it keeps the teenagers from doing kickflips off the steps of the library and scaring the retirees. I saw a kid do something called a 'McTwist' the other day and my knees hurt just watching it.
JOLEEN: Oh, the skate park is classic Upland. It's one of those spots where you can see the generational divide in real-time. You've got guys in their fifties trying to relive their glory days and inevitably breaking a hip, and then you've got ten-year-olds who are basically Olympic athletes. It's a miracle we don't have a permanent ambulance stationed right there on 13th Street. But seriously, it's cool that the city keeps it up, even if it's just to keep the 'skateboarding is not a crime' crowd off the sidewalk.
MARK: Speaking of history, did you see that weird story about local residents recalling sneaking Bibles into Vietnam back in the day? It's one of those 'only in the IE' human interest pieces. Apparently, a group from Upland was involved in these clandestine missions decades ago. It's wild to think about some guy from Euclid Avenue acting like a religious James Bond. 'My name is Miller, John Miller, and I've got a King James Version in my boot.' It's a fascinating look at the hidden lives of people you probably see at Stater Bros every week.
JOLEEN: It's definitely a change of pace from the usual headlines about copper wire theft. It's weirdly wholesome, in a slightly illegal way. I love the idea of Upland being a hub for international smuggling, even if it was just for books. Imagine the adrenaline rush of trying to bypass customs with a bag full of candy, toys, and scripture. It puts my struggle of trying to sneak my own snacks into the movie theater into perspective. I'm just a small-time criminal compared to these seniors.
MARK: Let's pivot to something a bit more modern, like the crime reports for the last week. It's been relatively 'Upland quiet', which means we've had the usual assortment of porch pirates and people forgetting how to lock their car doors. The Upland PD reported a successful recovery of several stolen items recently, mostly high-end electronics that some asshole thought they could flip on Facebook Marketplace. Pro tip: if you're going to steal a MacBook, maybe don't post a selfie with it on the same day.
JOLEEN: The level of stupidity in our local criminal element is honestly staggering. It's like they're trying to get caught. I saw a report of a guy who tried to walk out of a store with a literal television under his arm. Not a small one either. Like, buddy, you're not a magician, we can all see the 55-inch OLED screen you're cradling. It's embarrassing. I wish our criminals were at least a little more creative. Give me a sophisticated heist, not a smash-and-grab at the CVS.
MARK: I'd settle for people just not being dicks. We also had a minor incident near the colonies where some dickhead was throwing rocks at cars. Seriously, what is this, the middle ages? Go play a video game or something. Don't ruin someone's windshield because you're bored and your parents didn't hug you enough. The police are looking into it, so if you see a teenager looking suspicious with a handful of gravel, maybe give them a stern look or call it in.
JOLEEN: Upland is generally safe, but man, the petty stuff drives me crazy. It makes the city feel smaller and meaner. Anyway, moving on to the school district news. The Upland Unified School District is apparently looking ahead to March. They've got this Diamond Valley Lake tour coming up for some of the student leadership and environmental groups. It's part of that ongoing push to get kids interested in where our water actually comes from, which, spoiler alert, is mostly magic and plumbing.
MARK: I remember those field trips. It was always just an excuse to sit in the back of the bus and eat your lunch at 10:00 AM. But Diamond Valley is actually pretty cool if you're into massive engineering projects. It's better than staring at a whiteboard all day. The district seems to be leaning heavily into these off-site educational tours lately. They're trying to make learning 'dynamic', which I think is code for 'please don't let the kids fall asleep in class'.
JOLEEN: Well, it's better than the 'Vision 2030' plan talk that's been droning on. At least the kids get some fresh air. Speaking of the schools, did you hear about the sports updates? The winter season is reaching that point where every game feels like a life-or-death struggle. The Upland High boys' basketball team is still grinding it out. They had a tough stretch recently, but they're looking to bounce back this week. It's all about that momentum heading into the playoffs.
MARK: High school basketball in the IE is no joke. The competition is brutal. If you aren't seven feet tall and able to jump over a house, you're basically a benchwarmer. But the Highlanders have some heart. I'm hoping they can pull off a win against their rivals this Friday. There's nothing quite like the energy of a packed high school gym, mostly because it smells like old socks and desperation. It's the pure essence of sports.
JOLEEN: And don't forget the soccer teams. Upland has always been a soccer powerhouse. The girls' team is absolutely dominating right now. They play with a level of intensity that would make most professional athletes weep. If you want to see some actual skill without the ego of the NBA, go watch a Tuesday night game at the high school. It's impressive, and it's free, which is my favorite price for anything.
MARK: Alright, let's talk about something truly important: food. I went to The Stein Haus on 2nd Street over the weekend. It's one of those places that's been around forever, and for good reason. It's dark, it's woody, and it smells like bratwurst and better days. If you're looking for a place where you can get a massive beer and a pretzel the size of your head, this is it. It's the anti-Instagram restaurant. No neon signs, no fake grass on the walls, just solid German food and a lot of carbs.
JOLEEN: I love The Stein Haus because it feels like a secret club for people who have given up on their summer bodies. The schnitzel is legitimate. I had the Jagerschnitzel last time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't need to eat for another forty-eight hours. It's the kind of place where you go to have a real conversation, mostly because it's too dark to see your phone anyway. And the staff? They don't take any shit. I saw a guy try to order a 'light beer with a lime' and the waitress just looked at him like he'd asked for a unicorn steak.
MARK: That's exactly why it's great. It's authentic. We have enough 'fusion' places where they put kimchi on a taco and charge you twenty bucks. Just give me a sausage and a cold lager and leave me alone. If you haven't been to The Stein Haus, you're missing out on a piece of Upland history. Just don't go there if you're on a diet, or if you're afraid of mustachioed men in lederhosen. It's a vibe.
JOLEEN: Exactly. Now, for the weekend guide, because apparently, you people need us to tell you how to live your lives. This coming weekend, February 6th through the 8th, is looking surprisingly busy. We've got the usual Farmers' Market on Saturday morning in Downtown Upland. It's the perfect place to buy a five-dollar organic apple and feel superior to the people shopping at Walmart. Plus, there's always that one guy playing the acoustic guitar who only knows three chords. It's charming, in a 'please stop playing Wonderwall' kind of way.
MARK: I actually like the Farmers' Market. It's the one time a week I actually see people interacting without a screen between them. Also, keep an eye out for a local art pop-up happening near the Cooper Museum. It's supposed to feature Inland Empire artists, which usually means a lot of paintings of mountains and maybe some very edgy pottery. Support local artists, people. It's better than buying that mass-produced crap from IKEA.
JOLEEN: And if you're looking for something a bit more active, there's a community hike planned up at San Antonio Heights on Sunday morning. It's a great way to work off that Stein Haus schnitzel and remind yourself why you live near the mountains. Just watch out for mountain lions and the people who hike in full makeup. I don't know who you're trying to impress on the Potato Mountain trail, but the coyotes don't care about your highlighter.
MARK: Let's check the weather forecast for the week of February 2nd to the 9th. It's Southern California in February, so it's basically a coin toss. We're looking at highs in the low 70s for most of the week, which is nice, but it'll be chilly at night, dropping into the 40s. So, basically, you need to dress like you're visiting three different climates in one day. Typical Upland weather. I'm just glad there's no rain in the immediate forecast. My roof is held together by hope and duct tape at this point.
JOLEEN: The wind is the real bitch this week. We've got some Santa Ana gusts predicted for Wednesday and Thursday. So, if you have patio furniture, you might want to tie it down unless you want your neighbor two blocks over to own your umbrella. I hate the wind. It makes everyone in this town act even more insane than usual. It's like the air is charged with static and bad decisions.
MARK: It really is. The wind always brings out the worst in the local drivers too. Speaking of driving, let's talk about the nightmare that is our current road construction. Foothill Boulevard is still a disaster zone. I don't know what they're doing over there, but it feels like they've been moving the same three orange cones back and forth for six months. I saw a construction worker leaning on a shovel for twenty minutes yesterday. I've never been more jealous of a person's career path in my entire life.
JOLEEN: It's a joke. Every time I think I've found a shortcut, there's a 'Road Closed' sign and a guy in a neon vest laughing at my misery. The 10 freeway is its own circle of hell with the lane shifts. It's like playing a high-stakes game of Tetris with your car. 'Will I merge or will I die?' That's the daily question for anyone commuting out of Upland. And don't even get me started on the potholes. Some of them are deep enough to have their own ecosystem.
MARK: The city says it's for 'infrastructure improvement', which is just political speak for 'we have extra money to spend and we want to make your life difficult'. I'm convinced they do it just to see how much we can take before we all collectively snap. But hey, at least the new bike lanes look nice, even if I've never actually seen a person on a bicycle using them. They're mostly just used by people in Teslas who can't stay in their own lane.
JOLEEN: Seriously. And finally, let's touch on real estate. If you're looking to buy a house in Upland right now, I hope you've recently won the lottery or have a very wealthy, very dying relative. The median home price is still hovering in that 'are you fucking kidding me' range. I saw a house the other day that was basically a shed with a nice coat of paint listed for seven hundred thousand. It's insane. The market is cooling slightly, but 'cooling' in California just means it's slightly less impossible than it was last month.
MARK: It's the inventory that's the problem. Nobody wants to sell because they don't want to lose their 3% interest rate. So we're all just stuck where we are, staring at the same four walls until we die. If you're a first-time buyer, my advice is to either move to the Midwest or start a very successful cult. Upland is a great place to live, but the barrier to entry is starting to feel like the wall in Game of Thrones. Only with more palm trees and less ice.
JOLEEN: And more traffic. Always more traffic. But hey, it's home. We bitch about it because we care. If we didn't love this weird little city, we wouldn't bother making this show. We'd just move to Rancho Cucamonga and pretend we're better than everyone else. But we're Upland people. We have grit. We have the Stein Haus. And we have each other.
MARK: That's a surprisingly poetic ending for you, Joleen. I think the smog is getting to your brain. Alright, that's all the time we have for this episode. Remember to like, subscribe, and tell your friends about us. Or don't, and let us remain your dirty little secret. Either way, we'll be back next week to tell you more about why this city is both the best and worst place on Earth.
JOLEEN: Don't forget to email us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com if you have any tips, complaints, or if you just want to tell Mark his hair looks stupid. We love it all. Stay safe out there, don't hit any orange cones, and try not to be an asshole. See ya.