Amplify with Jess Ekstrom

Are you struggling to maintain relationships with people you love, even when you disagree on fundamental issues?

This week on Amplify, Jess sits down with her good friend, Brit Barron, a speaker, DEI consultant, and author of Do You Still Talk to Grandma? 

Brit's work offers a much-needed guide for navigating the increasingly polarized world we live in, helping us find common ground and connection even when perspectives diverge.

Brit and Jess discuss our divided society, examining why it feels harder than ever to see eye to eye. They challenge the tendency to categorize people into "good" or "bad" boxes and instead champion the power of nuance, where love and disagreement can coexist. 

We also explore:
  • The difficulty of separating institutions from individuals in our current polarized climate.
  • Why Brit's work focuses on the people already in our lives, not strangers.
  • The concept of "progressive amnesia" and its impact on our interactions with others.
  • The power of asking "Help me understand" in difficult conversations, especially in the workplace.
  • How to be a better ally without falling into the "hero" trap.
  • The "take the meat and leave the bones" metaphor for consuming information.
  • The crucial "both/and" philosophy: how to hold deep love and deep disappointment in the same relationship.
About Brit Barron:
Brit Barron is a speaker, DEI consultant, and author of the book Do You Still Talk to Grandma?, which offers a compassionate framework for navigating difficult conversations and maintaining relationships across differences. Her work encourages empathy, nuance, and genuine connection in an increasingly divided world.

Resources & Links:
Amplify with Jess is produced by Walk West and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

What is Amplify with Jess Ekstrom?

Amplify with Jess Ekstrom is a top rated business podcast designed to help you amplify your ideas, influence and income. We have a special focus on amplifying women's voices, but this show is open to everyone. Tune in every other Tuesday to hear from Forbes Top Rated Speaker, Jess Ekstrom as she talks to speakers, authors and entrepreneurs who are crushing it in their own way.

Brit Barron - 00:00:04:

What do we do when both deep love and deep disappointment exist in the same relationship? There is deep, deep love and deep, deep disappointment. And what do we do when those two things exist together? Right. And that's why I say my work isn't for strangers because I'm like, yeah, if this was just a random lady and I'm like, oh, I don't know, I can unfollow. Like it's just being able to allow more than one thing to be true is the beginning of so much of our work.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:00:33:

Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom. If you're ready to Amplify your ideas, your influence, and your income, then you're in the right place. All right, I'm just going to say it. I am being a selfish podcaster today because I needed this conversation. My guest, Brit Barron, is the author of Do You Still Talk to Grandma?. A book that I have gifted to so many people because it has helped me navigate something I think we're all struggling with. How do we stay connected to people in our lives when we don't see eye to eye with them? Whether it's at work, in our families, or just in everyday interactions, it can feel like we're constantly scanning for who's on our side and who's not. And let's be real, sometimes it's easier to just put people into boxes of good or bad, right or wrong. But Brit's work is all about finding the in-between, the nuance, the space where love and disagreement can coexist. Brit is a speaker, an author, and someone who has been helping me personally figure out how to hold space for people with different perspectives without completely losing my mind. So in this conversation, we get into all of it. Cancel culture, calling people in instead of calling them out, and how to navigate relationships when you feel deeply disappointed by someone you love. And it all starts with this big question. Why does the world feel more divided than ever?

Brit Barron - 00:02:07:

What's difficult about right now is that I think a lot of us are having a difficult time sort of dismantling institutions from people. And so everything has sort of become identity politics. And so when we are faced with again and again and again the most extreme versions of things, right, the most extreme rhetoric, the most extreme policies, the most extreme rollbacks on these things, then we sort of- Any were divide into camps. And so like anyone who's in that camp now like holistically becomes a part of that thing. And so I think there's obviously we are in one of the most polarized times like I've ever seen. And I think it's beneficial to systems and institutions to keep that polarization going. It's beneficial in a lot of ways. So it's now our sort of responsibility to say, okay, but what does that look like in terms of individuals? And I've said this again and again and again. My work, I don't know what to do about strangers. Like I don't know what to do about a lady in Kansas who I disagree with, whom I've never met and has never like sat at the table with me. My work is for the people who already exist in our lives. Can we find some more nuance instead of saying like, oh, I saw you like that one post. That means I know everything about you. Right?

Jess Ekstrom - 00:03:26:

Yeah.

Brit Barron - 00:03:26:

When the reality is we don't. And if we want to move forward together and we want to sort of combat some of these things happening in the world, we're going to have to get into some more nuance.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:03:37:

And I think one of the things I found so interesting about your book is like, which is probably just. Like the headline of like what's wrong, not just with me, but with everyone is like, oh good, I'm gonna read this book of Do You Still Talk to Grandma? So I can help change other people. And what I realized through reading your book was it was a lot more about how to change myself, how to look in the mirror of like where my beliefs came from and how to, you know, it sounds cliche, but hold space for people who might not be where I'm sitting. And so I think a really good example that you had of this was talking about movies I don't hold up today. And if you do explain on this, because this was one of my favorite parts.

Brit Barron - 00:04:29:

Yeah, I think we we arrive at a certain point and we're like, okay, now that I have all the right information and I know all the good things, I have all the exact information like I can I can now I'm people can come to my side. But we forget sometimes all the things that we used to participate in right before our own evolution, all these things. And the easiest example of that is movies that don't hold up. When you have movies that you're like, when I watched it, I was like, this is so funny. This is incredible. This is everything. This is like I think one of the examples I use in the book is Peter Pan, where you're like, yeah, this was one of my favorite movies from my childhood. And I just like had exclusively fond memories of it. And then when Disney+ came out and we have access to all these movies and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to rewatch it. I'm like-

Jess Ekstrom - 00:05:15:

Terrible. I literally this weekend, my husband watched Beauty and the Beast with our two-year-olds. And I'm like, wait, this is like a man holding a woman captive. Like, and like, what?

Brit Barron - 00:05:32:

Yeah. And we've watched this movie all the time.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:05:35:

Yeah. Yeah.

Brit Barron - 00:05:36:

And even movies from, oh my gosh, like from our like, from our like high school college time. You know what I mean?

Jess Ekstrom - 00:05:44:

Well, The Office. I mean, have you watched The Office recently? There's so many things in- The Office where I'm like, I love this show, but oh my gosh, this would not fly today. Yeah.

Brit Barron - 00:05:55:

A couple of, what was the movie? Was it The Hangover? And I was like, we watched it. I was like, oh, this is so funny. And there's like a joke right in the beginning. And I'm like. Yeah. Like, well, like, I feel this really uncomfortable, but I'm like, this was just so funny. Like, yeah, not only was it funny, it wasn't like they were pushing boundaries. This was all socially acceptable. Right. And I think it's important to note that because it's like you have you have a natural evolution that happens and you have to acknowledge that you are also part of that evolution.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:06:27:

100%. And like thinking about, you know, have you ever logged into, I don't know, like any social media platform and it's like 10 years ago today, you posted this. And every time that comes up, I'm like, hold my breath. I'm like, what did I say? Because, you know, you have to realize, like, I think you called it progressive amnesia in your book, where you think that the beliefs and the values and the morals you have today, you've always had. But you realize that, no, I had to learn these and I had to get here. And so there's some things that I posted that I wouldn't necessarily say are like... Know, anything terrible, but I'm like, I would not put my stamp of approval on that today. So, I mean, when it comes to like Cancel culture these days and people being canceled for something that, you know, resurfaced from 10 years ago or something like that, on what like grounds do you feel like we should hold people accountable for their past or? Are we hurting more than helping?

Brit Barron - 00:07:36:

Yeah, I mean, well, it's definitely a both and, right? There's a lot of notes here, but on one point, like I don't like when people bring up something that someone said 10 years ago. Especially if that person has openly apologized about it. And they're like, yeah, I said that. That was a dumb thing. I believe that 10 years ago. I don't believe that anymore. And we're like, you must pay. But I'm like, you don't want to know. I'm so, I, every day, I thank God that social media wasn't around in high school. I don't even know what I would have said, but I can tell you, it's nothing that I would want out there publicly today. Right. And so we have this, this. We want to be right so bad as humans. We just like, we want to feel the comfort of certitude. And that comfort comes from feeling like I have finally arrived with all the right answers. But if you are not like kind of awkwardly giggling at things you thought 10 years ago, then you're not doing it, right? Even right now, as we believe, you're not in your final form. I'm not in my final form. Like, so we will look back, you know, in this conversation and be like, oh, here's things I like just obviously did it now. And so when we want to cancel people for evolving or for not knowing something at some point, it just feels inherently hypocritical as humans because we all did that. If evolution has to be an opportunity and in our current political climate, something I've heard a lot, which is very troublesome to me is if you voted this way, you're done. That's it. That's the one bad decision you get to make where I'm like, oh, but I've made lots of decisions. And like, we need people to be able, it has to be okay to change your mind. Like we need invitation into that evolution. But if we always hold people accountable to one thing that they've said, we're missing it.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:09:24:

Yeah. And I think there's one hand, oh, someone that someone said, a tweet that resurfaced from 10 years ago. Okay, let's give them the benefit of the doubt to evolve. What about something that someone said five minutes ago or something that someone just posted? You talk about in your book, your good friend, Rachel Hollis, posted something problematic and that you had a choice to make of like, this is a good friend of mine. I don't like what she said. What is my position here? When is it the time to have a conversation? With someone and like, am I in the right place to do that? That's what I struggle with sometimes.

Brit Barron - 00:10:07:

Yeah, I think it's, you know, like Dr. King said, the time is always right to do what's right. And I think it's always good to have the conversation. I think something that's hard is our expectations that we put on this. So I just had to follow me with a friend this week. Who was telling me how he has a friend, they have some political differences, but he loves this person and he just found out all these things that they believe. And so he's like, I prepared for two weeks with all these arguments and research, like printed out like research. And then like, he's like, I confronted her and we had a three hour conversation and like, I just feel like it didn't work. And I'm like, oh. What was the expectation that one conversation was going to be like the end all be all for someone's like transformation for you guys?

Jess Ekstrom - 00:10:55:

That sounds like me. I was like, but I went through my checklist. Yeah.

Brit Barron - 00:10:58:

Yeah. But I said everything, but I did. I'm like, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Like and and so when I think about the the the shifts in my life that have evolved and grown and the friends that have been there with me, it wasn't like I read one tweet and I was like, oh, my gosh, wow, I've been doing it wrong. Or like I had one conversation or like I had all these things. So I think about even if my friend Rachel, it wasn't like, okay, I need to have this one defining moment with you. It was like, okay, we need to start a lot. There needs to be a lot of conversation that happens. Right. And that's just that's the nature of relationships. Like, you know, this like you your partner, you're you get all these things like you you have to be in it with someone. And that's why I'm like, if the people that you're in it with be in it, the strangers, they unfollow and move on. It's fine. But like we have to figure out how to do work together.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:11:44:

Yeah. And, you know, one of the things that I think is kind of like there's a filtering process that we all go through of like someone says something that we don't agree with. And then we have to say, okay, is it my place to step in? Is it not? And you talk about like the difference between like being offended by something and being like harmed by something. And those are two different things. Like we don't there are times where we don't have to stand by people that are being harmful. Can you talk about the difference between being offended and being harmed?

Brit Barron - 00:12:18:

Yeah. Yeah. So we all have... We all should have a line, right? Where we say, this is the point where I'm experiencing harm. This is no longer safe. And I need to be out. And I also feel like we need to have times where we're like, okay, this is offensive to me. And I want to engage in this conversation. And so one of the examples I use is like a friend wears a headdress to Coachella is offensive. A Harvey Weinstein, this is harmful. We have to be able to understand when we are offended and then when there is harm. And a lot of that happens like... We have to- We have to be willing to, I always say, pick people up on a ski slope. There was a book club reading my book, and one of the people there was Indigenous and telling me, like... Like their experience of someone wearing a headdress to Coachella and how offensive that really is. And I said, absolutely. Like something I say all the time is the minute you begin to other someone, the last domino is violence. And so it's all, I'm not saying it's good or it's like morally neutral to do these things. But when we look at that domino and you start taking it and you begin othering people and the last one to follow is like violence, I'm a firm believer of if we can pick someone up on this domino, if we can like redirect, if we can have like a civil conversation, if we can do some education, some unpacking before it gets to here, we're going to be in a much better spot. But when we treat this domino the same as this domino, I don't know that we're helping as much.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:13:55:

And so, like, let's talk about picking people up. When we do recognize, let's say someone at work, you know, I have a friend who, you know, men at work have commented on her natural hair. She's a black woman. And, you know, and have said, oh, you know, have your hair done for this meeting or do something. And she's like, this is. This is not okay. When there are times that you need to step in, what is... Do you have any parameters or like ways to communicate that doesn't, um, you know, put people in the hot seat necessarily, but have it be a growing experience.

Brit Barron - 00:14:45:

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, well, workplace is specific. Like all of our relationships have parameters. There's workplace, there's family, there's romantic, there's whatever, peripheral, acquaintance, and then there's like celebrity, whatever. And so I always say like the three most helpful words in the English language are help me understand, right? I always find it best when I am able to allow someone, even with it, it's something I believe is problematic, to allow them to like explain it and to break it down, right? So like, oh, help me understand the difference between professional and unprofessional hair. Like, well, help me understand the parameters around that, right? Like I want you to, I would like you to tell me.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:15:29:

You to explain it to me.

Brit Barron - 00:15:30:

I would like you to explain it to me. Then we can be having this conversation. Usually for me it works out better than let me explain to you. Like why you're in the wrong, right? Oh, explain it to me. And like, let's, and let's really keep going until we get to the point where you have to catch yourself saying, black people's natural hair is unprofessional. And then I want you to catch yourself saying that, right? Now we have a building block.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:15:56:

Yeah. Help me understand. And because again, you're coming from a place of like, Hey, let's get on the same page here, but I want you to explain it to me. Something that I've noticed over the years is... You don't want... You know, it's not your job to explain to me, you know, about racism or, like, Black women's hair. But at the same time, like, I want to become educated. I want to help. I want to better understand how I can be an ally. But you talk about in your book. Especially in 2020, you know, white women were the kind of front of this like, quote, if you're listening to the podcast, air quote, like this heroic movement of like, let's save, let's save this. And it wasn't as helpful as we might've thought that it was. And I'll be the first to raise my hand that I like sprung into like, what can I do? And let me do this instead of listening. So can you explain, help me understand, help me better understand that. And then also explain how can we be better allies without kind of being these like kind of hero figures that can be harmful.

Brit Barron - 00:17:17:

Yeah. Well, it's two things. I think it's all tied to what we talked about earlier, the concept of progressive amnesia. And I think white women in particular in 2020 had this, you know, you've gone your whole life without knowing racism is real or exists, right? And you heard one podcast about it or saw one video or saw that it was like trending. And all of a sudden, we're like, okay, I'm a social justice warrior. And inherently, that's not bad. It's not bad to learn new information and like act accordingly. However, when you do that at the expense of forgetting that you didn't know about it last week, and now you're like, the aggression, which was like, white women, like taking down other white women because they didn't know something that they had just found out was wild to me, right? And it's this, it's this fear and this like human thing that like, oh my gosh, I was wrong. I did something wrong. I want to hide that. And I want to over correct now. And I want to be so right. And I want to be the best white woman that ever lived.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:18:20:

And I want to be the most right out of everyone else.

Brit Barron - 00:18:23:

Yeah. Right. And I'm going to tell everyone how they're not right. Right.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:18:26:

Exactly.

Brit Barron - 00:18:27:

And I feel like the, the cure for progressive amnesia is empathy. Um, it, it is understanding. It's an empathy first for yourself and then for other people. It's not wrong to be anti-racist. It's not wrong to want, um, to be an ally. It's that all these things are not bad, but if you can't have empathy and remember what it felt like to be the person who didn't know about it, to be the one who got called out, to be the person who didn't understand why they said something was offensive, to be the, like, if you lose touch of that, then your work is going to be, I think, far less effective.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:19:03:

It's like the example in your book when people were talking about Blink-182 and it's like, wait, you've never heard of Blink-182? And we've all been in that situation where people are talking about a movie and they're like, you've never seen this movie? And it's like, let's point out the lack of information that this person has. Like, why do we do that? You know, like, love it. Yeah, we love it.

Brit Barron - 00:19:26:

It's just, this is so funny. Like, a few weeks ago, a friend of ours was like, whoa, have you heard Doja? Like, if you heard of Doja's at home, we're like, oh, it's so good, right? And then Doja at performed at the Grammys, like, last night or the night before. And that same friend, hilariously, we were watching the Grammys together and then a friend was like, who is this? And they're like, you've never heard of Doja? I'm like, you just, it was two weeks ago in the car that we were like, listen, like, we just have this thing where we're like, finally, this is a time where I can be on the high horse. Like, finally.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:19:57:

I know some-

Brit Barron - 00:19:58:

Something you don't.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:19:58:

Yes.

Brit Barron - 00:19:59:

Yeah. We have to curb that. And I think the only way to curb that is empathy, is like constant empathy.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:20:06:

And I think this gets slippery in thought leadership. A lot of people listen to this show because they're speakers, aspiring speakers, authors. And I feel like as a thought leader, you're almost getting paid to have certainty around things. You're getting paid to have a point of view. And you're getting paid to have what you call cognitive closure. But sometimes that's not the best thing when it comes to being someone who is open to learning and open to growing. You are also a speaker, author, and an amazing thought leader. How can we pursue this as a career and say, this is what I believe. This is what is the key to success. This is the thing that, you know, you need to do in your morning routine, like whatever it might be, but also have a dot, dot, dot in this career.

Brit Barron - 00:21:01:

Yeah. I mean, a few things. One, you just have to know what you know. And you have to know what you know. I almost never overreach. Someone asked, they were like, can you talk about the connection between architecture as a release to city planning and D? I was like, oh, no, you lost me. I don't know that. I don't know that. Here's what I feel like I know at the moment. And I'm always open to the evolution. So we can, one, stick with what we know. Two, I like to think about thought leadership as framing a conversation for someone using what I know. So here's what's worked for me in a morning routine, X, Y, Z. Like, we're starting this conversation. And then I feel like we need to, some of, we have responsibility and our audience also has responsibility. Growing up in church, there was this phrase we always used to say when people would speak and it's, you know, take the meat and leave the bones. Meaning like if it hits you, it hits you. And if it didn't, it didn't. So what part of that did you like? Just take that. And there was the part you didn't like, oh, just leave that.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:22:08:

It's so funny to me when like I'll be scrolling on TikTok and there's like a recipe for like a chicken casserole and someone will be like in the comments, but I'm vegan. And it's like... Okay, well then don't make the chicken casserole. You know, it blows my mind that we think that every source of like information, video that we find should be made and tailored for us and the human experience that we want.

Brit Barron - 00:22:39:

Or that if we like something, we have to like all of it. Like I think an example, and this isn't even shade to him, but like someone like Andrew Huberman. I listened to a thing he was saying about cold plunging and then Sammy and I started doing it. I found it really helpful. And then after that, I was like, I don't really like anything else he's saying. It doesn't make what he said about cold plunging invalid. Like that was helpful to me. Then that gets to stay helpful to me. And I don't have to like drag him through the mud because something else. I just get to say like, oh, this was for me. This part of that was for me. And the rest is for someone else.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:23:14:

Yeah. And I had to kind of realize like that a lot of the people out there sometimes who are making these statements about morning routines or like these are the 12 things you should do before 5 a.m., are also not getting up with little kids like they. And so that doesn't apply to me. Like and I'm not going to say like, oh, screw this person. They don't have kids. I'm just going to say, oh, this morning routine doesn't work with the season of life that I'm in. So therefore, I don't need it. And I think that that's like it's so funny how easily forgotten that is when we're on the Internet of like, oh, this thing wasn't made for me. But going back to thought leadership, I think, you know, one of the things that also stood out to me in your book was. This pastor that you worked for that you had some problems with, you know, one of the things amongst a lot of things, and I encourage everyone to just read the book, Do You Still Talk to Grandma??, was that he only told stories where he was the hero. And I think that that is something really notable to talk about with people here who are speakers or aspiring thought leaders is like. Yeah, sometimes the stories that we tell that are the most impactful are the ones where we didn't look the best. Where like the movie didn't age well. Would you agree?

Brit Barron - 00:24:40:

Yeah, it's the stories that are the most meaningful. And it's the places in my life where I've, everything that is worth having for me came on the other side of one of those stories. You know, it's very rare that I'm like just having a perfect day and a perfect week. And I'm like, I grew so much. I just learned so much this week. You know, those weeks are good, but it's a time where we can be human and access that humanity to connect with someone else to say like, oh my gosh, this is how far I missed the mark. And I was able to like come back or then we turn around. And that's like every single story I tell in a book is a mistake I made, right? Because I think this is, that's far more helpful. And at the end of the day, like you're also exactly right. We're not talking to everybody. We're not trying to say like, hey, everybody in the world, you are my audience, look at me. We're trying to connect with the people that we feel like we can connect to. And for me, that's people who have made mistakes, who are open to making more, who want to learn from them, who want to turn things around. And that's so important to me. I'm just, I'm personally not interested in someone who's like, hey, I figured it all out. Here's how to be right every single time. And here's how to do it all and never mess up. I'm like, oh, you're not, you're not talking to me.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:25:55:

Yes. Yeah. You're not talking to me. I, you know, used to speak from a place of like trying to prove my credibility of like, oh, this is what I've done and this is what has worked. And it just like wasn't hitting. And now that I speak from a place of. Here's what I can teach from a point of view when I was a student, like here's where I learned this, then that's when I feel like my speaking career really started to take off instead of being like, one time I was on the TODAY Show or I started a company that did something. It was like, no, here's a time when I got $10,000 stolen from me and how I needed to find a way to get it back. And so a lot of times, like speaking, we think it's this like. Oh, I need to go up there and prove myself when really it's how do I tell them what I wish I knew when.

Brit Barron - 00:26:49:

Yeah. And I think some of the most impactful advice I've gotten, even as a speaker, is to be true to my thing. There are lots of skills that you need for being on stage and there are all these things you could do. But at the end of the day, you have to show up and be you. It would be a shame for someone to fly you all the way across the country to come and speak to their thing and you don't show up. Right. And so it's like, how can you embrace that in your audience and your time and not sort of like put on the show? And you and I have both dabbled in the in the stand up world. And possibly my favorite thing about comedy is how it's 100 percent subjective. Like I have friends who will like, I mean, cackle, like keel over, like laughing at a comedian. And I'm like, I don't get it.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:27:38:

Don't get it. Yeah.

Brit Barron - 00:27:39:

That doesn't make that comedian that good. She's her audience. You know what I mean? I'm just not an audience. And so there are people who think- Who I'm like, I have tears in my eyes and I'm showing my wife and she's like, what? I'm like, no, this is so funny.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:27:52:

I think those two people marry each other, you know, that don't find the same things funny. Yeah.

Brit Barron - 00:27:58:

Every time.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:28:00:

So I want to close with, I think, something that we can all... Really take as a launching pad as we go into like our work lives, our relationships with people. And that is. Like the both and philosophy that you talk about in your book. We all have people that are in our lives that maybe right now... Like we feel offended by or they voted differently than you. And some of those people you're really close to. Some of those are people that are at work. It's funny, like after the election, you know, my therapist was like booked out for like, she was like, I'm sorry, I'm trying to get to everyone. I'm like, this just shows like where we're all at is we are all having these problems holding the both and for people. I'd love for you to talk about like. What Do You Still Talk to Grandma?? What that title is, like the spaghetti and how we can hold space for both of those as we go forward.

Brit Barron - 00:28:59:

Yeah. Yeah, I think the... The crux at the very bottom of this book was what do we do when both deep love and deep disappointment exist in the same relationship? And the title of the book came from being at dinner with a group of friends. And one of our friends was just talking about going to a lake house with her family and the place she's gone forever. And, you know, grandparents were there and they're hanging out and they're doing all these things and it's beautiful. And she has this beautiful relationship with her grandmother. And then she was like, but I found out that she voted for Trump. And another friend at the table was like, do you still talk to her? You know, like she was like, my nana.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:29:36:

My nana? I don't know if my favorite line is my nana.

Brit Barron - 00:29:40:

Like, yes, this lady who, yes, made her spaghetti after school and stuck her cookies when her parents weren't looking and did all this stuff. It's as if this one piece of information was to cancel out all this other information. And they're both true. Like, they are both true. There is deep, deep love and deep, deep disappointment. And what do we do when those two things exist together? Right. And that's why I say my work isn't for strangers. Because I'm like, yeah, if this was just a random lady and I'm like, oh, I don't know. I can unfollow. Like, it's, but this is real life where there's nuance and there's love and disappointment. And so I think just being able to allow more than one thing to be true is the beginning of so much of our work. There's a sociologist that I talked about all the time who says every person needs two things. We need bonding circles and bridging circles. A bonding circle is the circle of people where, like- It's a deep breath. We all voted the same. We think the same. We're in the same wavelength. We're just, we get in there and we're just like, oh, it's just, it's good. Okay, we're just in a bonding circle. And then we need bridging circles. And those are people that take us to the edges where we have these differences, where we- They push us, we push them. Like we're sort of engaged in this work. You can't live all in one or the other. You need both of those. And the bridging circle is where you have to let two things be true. I love this person and I'm disappointed in this. I care about this person and I think they're wrong. You know what I mean? This person has some of my core memories and I think they're offensive. We just have to let two things be true and then start that bridging work.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:31:14:

Honestly, I feel like you needed to be in everyone's ears, eyes, hands, like over the past few months. If you're struggling with... How to get along with people in your life that you don't agree with. Definitely, definitely, definitely not only give Brit a follow, but by Do You Still Talk to Grandma?? Because it has been. My guiding light. Brit, thank you so much. Anywhere else that people can find you or connect with you.

Brit Barron - 00:31:45:

You can find me on the Internet at britbarron.com, @britbarron on most socials. And if you're walking around LA, you might see me.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:31:56:

Yes, Brit. Thank you so much for being here.

Brit Barron - 00:31:59:

Thanks for having me.

Jess Ekstrom - 00:32:04:

Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you're a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review. This episode is brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop, where you can learn how to become a better speaker, how to land paid speaking gigs, and become a keynote speaker. This episode was edited and produced by Walk West. I'm Jess Ekstrom, reminding you that you deserve the biggest stage. So let's find out how to get you there. I'll see you again soon.