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The Smoke Trail, hosted by Smoke Wallin, is a journey into awakening consciousness, weaving authentic stories and deep discussions with inspiring guests to unlock high performance and perfect health. Each episode delves into spirituality, leadership, and transformation, offering tools to transcend trauma and find your bliss along the way. It’s a reflective space for achieving peak potential and inner peace in a distraction-filled world.
Welcome to the Smoke Trail hosted by Smoke Wallin. Join Smoke on a unique journey of awakening consciousness, sharing authentic stories and deep discussions with inspiring guests. Explore spirituality, leadership and transformation tools to elevate your Path Hi,
Smoke:welcome to the Smoke Trail. I am sitting in my hotel room in beautiful Vancouver. It's a glorious day. It's also Callie Wallin's birthday, so happy birthday, Callie. I'm going to continue with some of the Q and A from last episode that I only got through a small number of them.
Smoke:And this next question is I think really meaningful to me after this weekend. I'm going tell you a little bit about that. But the question is clearing up emotional blockages. How do emotional blockages impact leadership and what leaders can do to clear them? Well, I'm just coming off a unbelievably, impactful, meaningful men's retreat, that Yvonne Rados led, with a number of individuals.
Smoke:I had the, great honor of serving as, what they call an angel, which is someone who is there to hold space for the other participants. And this was a weekend retreat on Bowen Island, in a private, residence. It was a beautiful setting. We had some rain, but it was like a lush forest surrounding this house. And then, the sun came out at different times and it was really magical.
Smoke:And I think what I saw happen and what I experienced, firsthand really speaks to this question about clearing up emotional blockages. What I experienced was, I think it was seven or eight men who all were working on their own individual issues, who, showed up, bravely to look at their shadows, to dig deeper, to become better men. And what I would say is the first step to clearing up emotional blockages is being willing to face them and, know what they are. So step one is like, Okay, I know there's something and I need to address it. And so just showing up with an intention that I want to look at my shadows, I want to look at the issues that may be holding me back.
Smoke:I don't know what they are. Maybe I don't They aren't in my direct awareness, but I know they exist. And if I can identify them, maybe I can work with them. Just having that intention and that open stance is a game changer. You already begin to change by having that intention.
Smoke:So the first step is clearly just kind of recognizing that and by the way, we all have these and there's no human is exempt. And, you know, it's just recognizing, okay, what are my issues? Some people have put more light on their issues than others. Those that have, have in all likelihood increased their consciousness. And all that means and this is kind of teaching across the ages, but I think Sarah Alkeny, the alchemist, said it well in one of her videos, about what is higher consciousness.
Smoke:All that means is you've integrated the lower levels into you. You've integrated your shadows, you've integrated whatever blockages there were. And so thus you can see things from a higher perspective. In other words, you see all of the implications, all of the issues, you have compassion for those who are facing similar issues. So just being aware of what issues there are, I think, is a huge step forward.
Smoke:Then going into the weekend, I think the with the intention set and each person having their own individual kind of mission to examine that, I think, you know, being willing to let go and let the process happen. You know, I think I said this before, but the fear of what might be uncovered is usually much greater than the actual work of uncovering things and facing them and working through them. It's always the thought of what might be there. Oh, I can't look at that. I can't face that.
Smoke:That's so horrible in my past. We don't talk about the past. You know, this is something I've heard directly. We don't talk about the past. Well, if you that's fine.
Smoke:You don't want to talk about the past, but if you want to address things, if you want to clear things up, you've got to examine the past. You've got to look at it. Whether you talk about it or not, you've got to look at it yourself. And there's really no way to go through this without going through it. So you have to look at it.
Smoke:So the next thing is, you know, surfacing them. I should point out that we had this conversation with our group toward the end of the session when everybody was kind of like talk integration session and talking about what they learned and stuff. There's absolutely, a bunch of modalities and ways to clear blockages without having to necessarily touch the specific circumstances of what it was. These are energetic hairballs that are stuck inside. They're things that are incomplete, incomplete situations, good or bad, that, you're going to keep repeating until we resolve them.
Smoke:And so clearing them can happen in a number of ways. One of which is, and maybe the easiest, is just to clear the actual energy, you know, to actually just clear it out. And another way is to actually examine it, to understand it, to go through it. That's definitely a more arduous process. But sometimes it's important.
Smoke:Sometimes it's important for the understanding to get clarity in the ego mind what happened so that you have some different contextualization of the circumstance. Sometimes it's simply let the energy clear. So those are both accessible. I think there's a, good argument that, some of both is useful and productive. And the other thing that I experienced, was very powerful, is, in my own meditation on my own healing.
Smoke:So we're always healing ourselves and we're healing each other. And in my own meditation on my own healing, I had a powerful experience of recognizing my healing, recognizing the process I've gone through, and consciously sharing that experience, that energy with the group. And, I could sense, feel that it was helping the healing process of others in the room. And this was noticed by some people, which was great because I thought that was happening and then having some confirmation was really cool. But this goes back to, my conversation with Liv in one of the earlier episodes where she made the point that we are the medicine, humans are the medicine for each other.
Smoke:And now I have a different understanding of what she meant by that. I think as we heal ourselves, as we clear these blockages, we're doing it for each other. We're doing it for the collective. And when we hold space for others because we can, because we have, the capacity to, because our consciousness has expanded and we're able to, see the bigger picture, recontextualize things, then we are helping in the process of healing each other. Now, healing is always clearing these things is always, at the end of the day, up to the individual.
Smoke:It starts with intent, starts with what you want, and then it's the willingness to process, to let go, and then to transcend these things. But all these things can be very helpful. And others who heal around us accelerate our ability to heal. So I think it's a really powerful thing. I can get into some of the more specifics of ways to do it.
Smoke:Maybe at a future thing, I'd be interested in seeing what people want to hear. I'm going to go to another question. This one is oh, tied to this. Setting intentions in leadership. What roles does intentionality play in leadership?
Smoke:And how can leaders align with their higher purpose? Okay, well, I just talked about intentionality in clearing your emotional blockages. And, I think intentionality is the way we unlock, all of our potential in our entire lives. So when it comes to leadership, being intentional is everything. What do you stand for?
Smoke:What do you intend to do? So you may have a goal in mind. You may have an objective with your business or in your organization that you are trying to, achieve. But what is your intention with your actions and how you show up and how you hold space? That makes all the difference in the world.
Smoke:You know, it's all well and good. We have a goal to hit a certain sales number or a profit number or increase our customer base or, you know, in the not for profit world, Dignity Moves, you know, we're working to raise capital for deploying it for, you know, unsheltered homeless and really helping people get off the street. It's all well and good if we have these goals, these intentions, or these bigger stretch goals. But it's how you show up day to day with the people that you work with, how you interact, what your intentions are you're putting out in the universe. And that makes a big difference.
Smoke:So, if we show up with a heart center where we're not stuck in our ego mind, we're showing up present, and we first of all, we notice so many more things. Become aware of what are the people on my team experiencing? What are the things that we're seeing? Are we are we encountering resistance? Or is there things, signals that I'm missing that I would be missing if I didn't show up with this heart centered intentionality?
Smoke:And I think the here is by going in differently, by going in with your ego mind, with one's ego mind, you know, super I've done this. You know, where you go in like, we're going to hit this goal no matter what. No matter what gets in your way, just get through it. It's a complete, like, force it. We're going to make this happen.
Smoke:While I appreciate that can do attitude, I also recognize now that you miss signals. You miss things that, okay, there may be things that the universe is telling us that we need to be aware of that would enable us to actually exceed that goal if we paid attention. But if we go into it like Katy bar the door, like just Bullet and China shop, we're just going you know, whatever gets in our way, we're going to get through it. You are creating a situation where resistance is going to come in every direction and we're not going to be aware of it. So it's like an awareness thing.
Smoke:So going with your intention like, yes, we want to achieve this goal together. And my intention is to do it conscientiously, to be aware of what's happening and to bring, you know, really to bring caring, to bring love to the situation. And that means, understanding where the resistances are coming, understanding if, my team is having troubles, what those troubles are, what issues are popping up. And by keeping that open stance, we're going to be so much more powerful and so much more able to, get to what is meant to happen, whatever that is, whether it's the goal or it's something else. And we're going to be in an incredibly empowering position in terms of our people, in terms of getting them to, reach their potential, because they know that the leader is showing up and is present and has that capacity.
Smoke:And by knowing that, that gives them comfort to go, Okay, I can think for myself. I can figure out this. Oh, okay, I'm running into this issue. How do I solve it? Or how do I ask for help to solve it?
Smoke:So those kind of different pieces of that puzzle of setting intentions from a leadership perspective that I think could be helpful. Okay, I'm going to go to skip down to another one. This is staying present under stress. How can I stay present during high stress situations like important meetings or conflicts with team members, customers or investors? This is a good one.
Smoke:And I think Yvonne shared a, breathing exercise meditation with the attendees. In any given moment, if we can take a moment to separate our reaction from whatever the stimulus is, the confrontation, the angry customer, the upset team member, whatever it is, the stressful moment. It's only stressful because we feel like we're under some kind of time pressure. And the reality is we control that pressure completely if we choose to. So I think one of the best techniques is to simply take a moment and take three deep breaths, you know.
Smoke:How long did that take? It wasn't very long. And just in taking that moment, which you can do no matter what, hold for a second, step away. If you have to go to the restroom, like, excuse me, I need a restroom, I'll be right back. Excuse me, I just need a moment.
Smoke:Step out of the office, step away, or just stop and say, hold on a moment and do it. No one's going to, like, they're going to accept that. Like, they have to, period. And when you do that, you give yourself time to kind of let the energy flow through and to give yourself time to respond in the most appropriate way that makes sense without emotion, without undue influence. So, just taking a moment and having some breaths in any stressful situation makes a massive difference in your ability to respond.
Smoke:So if we can do that, I mean, I don't think there's ever a situation where you're actually responding under pressure. It's just when you feel like you have to answer someone, You have to answer them in the moment and you're not ready. You can feel it. Like, I'm not ready. It's when you take a shortcut.
Smoke:You short circuit the process of your beingness. And you might, lash out. You might become defensive. You might get aggressive. You know, I certainly know that that was my one of my modes is you come at me, I'm going come at you 10 times harder.
Smoke:And that instant reflex, I still have it, I can feel it. If someone comes at me, like I can come back really, really hard and really fast. And by having that moment to take a few breaths, I'm not lashing back out. Because all that's going to do is escalate, right? That's all it's going to do.
Smoke:There's zero it accomplishes. It might feel good in the moment to have a good response and to, but it's, not going to help solve anything. So what I really want to do is take that moment, get separation from my, ego mind, emotional state, and whatever is being presented with me so that I can look at what's being presented and try to understand what is it that's causing this? What's causing this, anger, this person to be coming at me, this person to be upset with whatever the circumstances are. It most likely has nothing to do with me.
Smoke:In fact, it probably has a lot to do with them. But what is it that's disrupted inside of them that I can understand. And if I can understand it, I can maybe not solve it, but I can at least not exacerbate it. And I might be able to dissipate it a bit, right, and get them to calm down. So people want to be heard and they want to know that you understand them.
Smoke:They don't necessarily have to be right. They don't necessarily, you know, they don't necessarily have to have you agree with them to be heard. So being heard means, let me restate what I just heard from you. So this is really hard to do if you're stressed out and you're just reacting. You know, someone comes at you, you you did this or this person did this in this team and I can't work with them and, you know, they're really upset.
Smoke:And you quickly come at them. There's just no way that you're going to be in a calm enough state to do this. But what you can do if you take that moment and have those breaths is you can kind of reflect back. So let me get this straight, Sam. You're saying that Bob has behaved this way and this way and this way, and he's done these things, and it's disrupting your work.
Smoke:Am I getting it right? And, you know, just by reflecting back to him, Bob or Sam is going to feel like he was heard. You know, and then it doesn't mean I agree with him. It doesn't mean I, you know, I might think that Sam is, you know, exaggerating and he's completely emotional. You know, and I know Bob and Bob is his intention was good.
Smoke:But that being said, this is how Sam's feeling it. So just by reflecting back, I'm in a better position to help navigate the solution. Hope that makes sense. These are really practical. Like, the thing that is so striking to me in this spiritual consciousness journey is how practical and useful it is to have a higher level of consciousness.
Smoke:This is not hocus pocus, just chase God, although there's some of that. It is literally, how do I be a better human that I might be a better being, that I can stay present in every situation and make better decisions. This is what you want on your team. This is what you want to hire for. This is what you want to cultivate.
Smoke:And this is what you want in you. And, you know, same thing with your family and your kids and everything else. Like, this is the thing that we all want. And you gain this ability by taking this path and having an understanding. So I hope this is useful, helpful, and I may come back with one more.
Smoke:Okay. Vulnerability in leadership. Why is vulnerability important in leadership and how can leaders practice it without feeling exposed or weakened? Well, this speaks directly to, I think, the acceptance of your leadership. You know, the reality is vulnerability is only seen as vulnerable when someone is actually vulnerable.
Smoke:Let me explain that. So, in sharing something that would be considered vulnerable, whether it's something traumatic in your childhood or your past, something, some mistake you made in life and work. It feels vulnerable because it's like, Oh, you're sharing something that is like the underbelly. It's something that is like you keep secret that is not exposed to people. It's not vulnerable if you have healed from it and you're comfortable with it.
Smoke:It's just a way to connect with people who are experiencing something or have done something similarly. So, for example, so I drank heavily for many, many years, decades, and I don't drink anymore. I haven't made a big deal out of it. I haven't talked about it. A few of my friends know that it's been over a couple years.
Smoke:And, it just went away for me because it didn't serve me anymore. But when I was drinking, I was highly functional, but it certainly was a negative to my health. It was a negative to, my energy. And, while I functioned and accomplished great things, imagine what I could have done had I been feeling great all the time, morning and night and not, spent a lot of my energy on that. Now, I don't regret.
Smoke:I'm not looking back on it because it served me in certain ways. It helped me to, cover up pain that was, something I hadn't solved for yet. But now that I've done it, now that I'm, clear and I've solved for that pain, I have no need for it. It wasn't useful for me. So I stopped.
Smoke:But it doesn't mean I don't understand it. You know, I can rest assured, I'm pretty sure I'm drunk more than all of my listeners, you know, and it will take you a long time to ever catch up. I don't recommend it. That being said, I understand it. I understand why I did it.
Smoke:I understand both the fun of it and I enjoyed it. So I can share that, and it's not me being vulnerable, it's me just being sharing. And hopefully that speaks to some of you in a way that makes sense. I can do the same thing for lots of situations that I have experienced directly and have moved beyond them. Or even if it's something that maybe I haven't moved beyond entirely, you know, for whatever reason, but I can experience it and relate.
Smoke:By being able to hold space for someone, by being able to, show, quote, vulnerability, you are able to relate to them and, you know, your compassion for their situation is based on reality, not something you read about or you think about. It's something that you know. And by knowing it, we are in a position to you know, literally hold space for that person and that situation. And drop judgment. Now, doesn't mean there aren't consequences to people's actions because everything, anything we do, think, or feel has consequences.
Smoke:But I don't need to have judgment over you about what you've done. There's consequences, you know, and most of those consequences are from the universe. But, you know, so if there's something that someone has done that has made a big mistake, that's harmed someone else, there's consequences. There's things that happen as a result of what they've you know, and if I did it, what I've done, that, you know, I have to face. And so being compassionate is not letting someone out of something, but it is dropping judgment.
Smoke:And so it's not for me to judge your path. It's not for me to judge my employee's path. I can give guidance. I can reflect back on them, you know, help them see what kinds of consequences may happen as a result of certain actions. And help them see that, you know, here's some other ideas.
Smoke:Maybe, you know, open up their lens to other options than the action that they've been taking that, probably is not for the best, not for the greatest good. And that's part of teaching. That's part of holding space, part of helping others. That being said, the reality is, you know, it's not necessarily for me to judge. And so by sharing vulnerability, I'm giving them permission to open up and to have a frank conversation.
Smoke:If someone does that, they're able to receive much more information, much more ability to help. Their resistance drops. So I think that's really where I'm going with this. The resistance to productive feedback drops when you as a leader can be vulnerable and share your vulnerabilities. Because if you're vulnerable, their resistance drops a bit, they become open, and then they're teachable.
Smoke:They're able to receive better information. And that's powerful. And that's really what we're here for, you know, for each other. And certainly as leaders, we're in a position to influence so many others in positive ways. But if you don't help them reduce their resistance, you're going to be much less effective.
Smoke:And part of reducing resistance is sharing vulnerability. Okay, that's it for my Q and A for today. And, please send me questions or things, topics you'd like me to talk about. And I hope you have a beautiful week with love and kindness from the Smoke Trail. I'll see you next time.