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Most of the powerful, unguarded conversations we have as practitioners happen behind the scenes. This podcast was created to bring those conversations forward. It’s a space for real talk about client work, presence, creating powerful containers for waking others up, embodied change, and the ways we continue to grow and meet our edges as we guide others.
Aila (01:11)
Hi everyone, this is Isla and welcome to Inside the Practitioner's Path. So today I want to talk about something that Barb and I ⁓ brought into a three hour intensive we did with a group of people a couple weeks ago. And it was a little process around identity and really looking at identity through the lens of like
Is it, is the way that we're identifying ourselves, talking about ourselves, ⁓ treating ourselves, is it serving us or not? Because there's nothing wrong with being well identified as somebody who dot dot dot dot. Like there's nothing wrong with it. It's very, it's natural, it's human, it's ⁓ appropriate at times.
It's really helpful in navigating our world. We have to check boxes about who we are and where we're from and what color our skin is and all of the identifiers. And what we did in the intensive is we just brought forward this idea of what if all of it is true? Like, yes, you are.
Like for myself, I am a mother and I am a wife and I am a daughter. I'm a business owner. I'm a coach. I have master degrees. have education in certain areas. Yes, yes, yes. And, and that's all good and fine, but what about the, the whole other truth that, I mean the whole other, other layer of like all of that.
is true, but it doesn't define me. It doesn't define what I'm capable of, what I can do, what I can create. It doesn't limit me in any way unless I let it. And I think what we're excited to be doing with people in our five month journey, the practitioner's path, the immersion,
is to really get into this, where we look at who are we beyond all these identifiers? Like, what is there when we forget all of our failures? When we forget all the things that we've tried that didn't work? When we forget all of the relationships we had that went sideways? When we appreciate that all the things that we've created up until now have come from what made sense then?
have come from our thinking then, our understanding of how our state of mind impacts our choices and our actions and our feelings, of course. Like everything we've created up until this very moment right now made sense at the time. But the truth of who we are, and this was, we did a really nice, lovely meditative process around like, what if the truth of who we are is that we are not
what's happened in our past. We're not our behaviors. We're not our accolades. We're not even our thoughts. We're not even our feelings. We're not even our behaviors. And who are we really? Like what's left when we see that all of that is an add on. All of that was created from what I am. Language is tough with this one, but all of
the things that I would describe myself and explain to somebody who I am, all of those descriptive, all of that, it's like an add-on to something. So what's the something? What's left when you really see here and now in this moment?
There's nothing defining me. It was really cool in the workshop, the things that were emerging for people as we took them through this process. It was like, what are you? what is that? What is there when you're, when you're no longer identified with your thinking, with your past, with memory, your simply present.
to the energy, the essence, the being behind the scenes.
The things that came forward for people were, you know, I'm infinite potential. I'm all that is. I'm everything and I'm nothing. ⁓ I mean, we could all feel it too, as everyone was dropping in. We could feel that it's like the space in that virtual room was just getting so expansive and so true.
And then the next step we explored in there, it was around like, what are the implications of feeling that for yourself as a practitioner, as a human? What are the implications of that for your work and for how you're showing up with people? What, how do you show up with people when you're more identified with this truth that we are.
infinite creativity in motion that we are wild and free nature that we're connected to a source of intelligence of life of everything that we are we're moving in alignment and in rhythm with that like how does our experience of safety change how does our experience of connection and loneliness change
Like personally, I don't know what will change for you as you listen and contemplate like who and what you really are.
If you're willing to just let your mind drop out of everything you think you know about yourself, all the, all the language, the descriptors, but also the internal experiences, you know, the pain or the grief or the sadness or the joy even like when you let go of all of that as some sort of a definition for who you are.
You drop it all. What's there? Makes me laugh every time I feel it. It's like, ⁓ wow, what's there? For me, I feel a lot of liberation and this kind of this like raw enthusiasm of like, my God, I could do anything. I could choose anything. I could move about freely. I could be so honest about what I want.
unidentified with limited interpretations of myself. If I'm not seeing myself as somebody who has failed at this or struggles with this or has a problem with this or patterning around this, if I stop holding that up and just drop it,
What I experience is more mystery of like, who am I? Who am I when I, when I can choose anything, how would I define myself? And I think this conversation is really relevant for so many reasons. I mean, just as a human living life and like, here's a little.
moment I had with this a few years ago when my now nine-year-old was little, he had a reaction to spiders. He saw a spider and he jumped. He was probably like three or four. And somebody said, he's afraid of spiders. And I said, no, no, no. He just, he jumped when he saw that spider. I don't know how he'll react in an hour if he sees a spider.
And this woman that made that comment and then she's like, Whoa, okay. He's not, so he's not afraid of spiders. I'm like, I don't know. He seemed to have a reaction just right there, but I, I like the idea of him not thinking he knows what's going to happen next. I don't know if he's afraid of spiders. I don't know. And it's nice for him not to have that as this identifier, somebody that's afraid of spiders.
And I think for me as a parent, it's been very cool to play with that ongoing of like these little children, these three children that I'm with every day. How quickly can I stop putting them in boxes and be like, he likes this and he doesn't like this and he has a tendency toward this. And yeah, it could be really true at times for sure. But when I let them be new in my own mind, like I don't know them. Like, I don't know what, I don't know what.
state of mind they'll be in tomorrow where if they see a spider they might show up with more presence and curiosity. So I don't, I'm not going to try to avoid spiders, but I feel like that's kind of what we do with, for me, my tendency for sure with my kids. It's like, they don't like this. Let's avoid it. Or like with myself, I don't like,
getting paid monthly, I want to get paid upfront, or I don't like getting paid upfront. I want to get paid monthly. It's like, how do I know? How do I know? Based on my experience, I might have been in a bad mood one day when somebody said, hey, can I do a payment plan? And I'm like, no. I probably would have said no to anything. But then to identify with that as like, that's who I am. That's my preference.
Again, not to say it's not true, but it's also pretty darn liberating to imagine what if I just meet myself fresh and new in each and every moment that comes into my day, into my life? Can I meet each spider with a genuine curiosity? Not necessarily like, what are my new thoughts about spiders, but how do I actually
How am I responding to this encounter with this spider in this moment? Like noticing what I'm doing. Noticing. Like observing it. Observing the being that I am instead of categorizing with my mind. Noticing it.
I just love this as a contemplation. There's so many layers to it. But for me, it's just so practical in a way of being aware of how do you perhaps create limits around what you're willing to do. Like you're not somebody that takes risks. you are somebody that always takes risks.
I mean, we're going to dive deep into this in the practitioner's path about these identifiers that again, at times totally can serve us, but at other times they really limit our willingness to show up present to the next moment and see what's occurring just below thought, just below dipping into the being and to the truth of who we are.
Like how's that space inside of us experiencing our lives? Right now, just right now even. It's always present, always there. And can just, for me, in my own experience, how I kind of tune into this is it's like my thought is a little bit of a buffer between myself and...
myself Try to feel into that one ⁓ it can be a little bit of like the safety or this ⁓ Just a buffer between myself and my my true experience my being buffer between myself and life, but really I only experience life through my self so Thought is a buffer between myself and my inner experience
And the less fear I have around what my inner experience is, more curiosity, the more openness, the more...
Just like presence I can bring to the moment, moment to moment to The truly, the richer it all is. I know a lot of people are seeking outer experiences for a rich and meaningful life and that's wonderful. Do that, I do that. But I know that the truth is it's all about my inner experience and how connected I am to the richness.
that is in the raw experience of my being. And how often can I let myself just drop in? And it's so ordinary, it's moment to moment, it doesn't take sitting for five days, although that's great. But it is something that is on offer any moment at any time. ⁓
And I love some of these gateways into that, can be just like, wait, I'm caught up in my thought. Let me feel, let me feel what's here. Let me feel sensations in my body. Let me feel, let me just drop down, drop in. It can be accessed through considering if I'm not my thoughts, if I'm not my emotions, I'm not my past. Who am I? What am I?
It can be accessed in a million different ways. There are a million different books about this, we just want to keep encouraging everyone all the time to be mindful of where are we using our mind and our perceptions and our filters to support us or to limit us. And if we're doing it...
you know with ourselves if we're getting more mindful with ourselves we have just so much more to bring to our clients and to our kids and our partners and our you know our relationships I think that's all that I'll share for now I hope that this was helpful in some way alright lots of love