Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Floating bishops, walls of fire, a stagnation aura — one surrenders mid-cast. Tanhauser sermonises the liberated citadel and leaves Snot on the throne with her mech wired into the airship's belly. As they lift for Andacia, a clown's face reaches up out of the shadows behind her.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
Guest
Guest
Guest
What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
I'm in Canada!
You know the range penalty to attack Canada?
I could make it if I get a 20.
You're gonna turn to that size inside the wall of fire?
Yes, I am!
She did a barrel roll, come on!
We're in clown territory!
I am Jalo the Magnificent.
Now come here so I can skin you.
Wait, Tannehus, did you ready to go back and get Boren?
Who's that?
Thanks for representing the fan base there, Tannehus.
Who's ready for another exciting episode of Rump Grind?
Get in my car.
Get in my car.
I forgot to give you guys your points actually.
Cards.
Not hero point.
I don't get anything.
What do you mean you don't get anything?
I don't get anything. I know there are points.
We ain't found shit.
Welcome to another exciting episode of Rock Grind.
Just to continue us off, I think last time
we basically headed down the elevator.
The dreaded elevator that took us
too long to get down.
And I think there was...
What was his name?
The guy's name who managed the elevator.
It's like Clunky.
Or Kachunker?
Kachunker, yeah.
Kachunk.
Yeah, Kachunk the elevator operator
because the elevator kept going
Kachunk, Kachunk, Kachunk, Kachunk.
After finding out about each other,
they decided to head further into the underground lair
where they basically found this viscous goo
basically kind of surrounding this church-like
gothic environment.
And then they found themselves upon a door.
Now after the team, using their expert minds
and ingenuity to try to open it,
they found out that they could not
until somewhere from a service entrance
arrived Baldrick, who was defending the airship,
who then informed Oren that there was something wrong
with one of the lines or vines or something
that was spewing out stuff.
And in a panic, Oren left to go fix it on the airship
so the airship would be spick and span
by the time the adventurers come back.
But then after finally basically coring,
charging the door and blowing it open
and entering inside, they found a familiar face.
A man that they saw burst into flames
in their first entry to the underground of Outset.
Someone who worshipped Uncle Blaze.
After a few words and the sacrifice from Tannhauser,
they then turned around to find a couple foes meeting them.
And with that, I think battle at that point ensued
as they then charged at our adventures.
Did I get that right?
Did I get the recap right on that one?
Yeah, pretty close.
Pretty close.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Get a hero point.
Pretty good.
Thanks, there he goes.
I will give my hero point.
Because Oren isn't here.
Oren's not here.
We have to split his hero point five ways.
True.
I'm going to apologize for blowing up things.
All right, you got him, man.
And then Zoran goes off stream
to start sawing logs, I guess.
Yeah, like Oren is not here.
He is taking care of the airship.
So for our intrepid band of charcoal fox,
Thurston, you're good to present the story you have today.
Sweet.
All right.
So as these creatures have come in
through the exploded hole in the area,
let's just pull up a scene.
For a second, I fully thought when you said creatures,
you meant us.
I mean, absolutely.
Zoran's off to go learn how to barbecue brisket.
That's a skill.
This amazing art by Salty.
Yay!
The congregant of the Black Papacy
as they sort of begin to float into the room,
the first one raises a hand,
and as they do, there is a mote of fire that appears.
Uh-oh.
Which begins to hover around them
like a circular disc.
Uh-oh.
Um, and as that happens,
they cast a spell.
What?
How come he can't do that?
Because he's going first.
Yeah.
This fucked up.
And then he puts...
You can't.
...a shield of fire around himself.
Uh-oh.
I know how to fix that.
Uh-oh.
And then...
With his next action,
he will...
Let's see.
Float...
Float...
Over...
Yonder.
Yeah, just like that.
Okay.
That's that one.
Let's go.
and it stares like stares just very dispassionately like waving its hand
this flaming sort of um circle and encompasses it uh then it is done the next one will go um it
will maybe heal and then it will advance uh actually no it's not going to it's gonna also
cast a spell it raises both hands as opposed to the one and spending a full action
it creates a wall
um and it's going to create a wall of fire
thurston real quick i'm going to perform my daily crafting because for some reason it removed
them from my inventory between the last session and this one yeah for sure uh and it's going to
create a wall of fire i've just marked it off there um the it goes up about 10 feet into the into the
air um but like you see this fire burst from the ground it's got this kind of blackish tinge to it
and that is that one's action that will bring us to vena so at this point vena you've seen that one
one of them has conjured forth a uh has conjured forth a blast of like fire around itself uh one in
the back has now conjured forth a literal wall of fire um
and yeah yeah well uh does the fire reach from floor to ceiling
no uh it only goes up about 10 feet the the roof here is about 30 feet up
okay about 30 feet up so i've got i've got a little room to maneuver
um so i suppose for action number one i will or action number one and two i will have to bamf out
the wings of air apply effect oh why did i do it twice there we go um and then for my third action
i will go ahead and go um i'll do so it's 10 feet up i'll go 10 feet or i'll go 15 feet up
and then i'll do oh please foundry i need to see my character sheet there we go
sorry no how do you hate me today okay so uh up 15 leaves me with 30 feet of movement
so then i will go here just starting to inch up close and that's all i can really do right now
so uh i i put myself in defense mode and i end my turn
all right pass your turn along please you gotta press the button i have to press the button
sorry the ui changed push the button yes i did button
push the button do it i pushed the button rahua all right what who is going to do is rahua is going
to move up to my new move speed is going up to another five feet so now i can move 25 feet instead
thanks to the fleet trade
it's our show three feet and these horrible congregants they'll be okay i think they've
they've been around long enough they can wait a little while longer
so rahua is going to just take a little thing here it's probably not going to work because
they probably have high will but rule stretches hands out focus on the three assembled before him
and
hold on
oh i messed up my sheet there we go put that in chat there we go we're gonna cast stagnate time
sure all right um i get to give you saves you do let's start with the top
actual
i have to put the aura down yes place the aura
place it update's weird it's new and shiny yeah
it'll be a 20 foot burst i'm gonna move that so i catch everybody oh yeah catch all right give me
the saves all right starting with the top oh actually they don't even uh they don't start their
turn so they don't even have to take it yet oh yeah that's right that's right it is start turn
okay makes sense well then i will do it on their turns haha yes so i'm going to pass the football
boom okay to me and what i'm gonna do is i'm going to see that this guy has some kind of
shield of fire and i'm gonna throw a fire bomb i'm gonna throw a frost vial at him actually
is he in range let me check this because i i remember two-handing my yeah i'm gonna use my
bombard on this so i've got my bombard loaded
why does it not show me as holding my gun bombard uh my bomb launcher
okay yeah i am holding it two-handed so i am loaded and i am ready to go
i'm going to draw curiously enough my frost vial and i'm going to shoot it at this guy with his fire
shield and i'm going to see if that does anything so through a couple things throwing the vial um
through the fire does mean that the target's concealed so you will just have to check for concealment so i
do a d20 again as usual yeah yeah it's a flat d20 and a five plus you you you'll hit the target or
while you can hit the target
d20 gives me an 11.
yeah so now you just roll the hit just normal got it cool just making sure baldrick hefts the fun
bomb launcher and he shoots a shaped charge of ice uh i'm going to untick the range penalty
because with the bomb launcher in both hands i don't get one oh oh because it shoots out to an
increment of 60 feet rather than 20 yeah cuttunk
gotta do that again absolutely
that'll be at 28 but that appears to hits gonna hit roll damage yep and that was with
sticky bomb on so that should go through yep all right cool frost
16 okay right yeah so it does hit him it is going to do the persistent damage but what you notice
is um not only does the shield seem unaffected it's actually as though the shield is actively repelling cold
damage
hmm interesting i thought it would try to damage the shield yeah so so this um it looks like this is
actually defense against cold attacks okay so it reduces the damage he takes from cold does he still
get the effect of frost vial on him uh yes so i will drop that onto him uh that's a 10-foot penalty
yes so it looks like he's nice and toasty in there yeah um and like from a mechanical perspective one of
the things i'll tell you is is that because your sticky bombs are so effective um you actually will
still out uh out damage with your persistent the uh amount that the shield can can resist so you're
still gonna do damage it just won't be 10 every round of five right okay uh i still got two actions
left so what i'm gonna do is i'm going to reload the bomb launcher and seeing that the frost damage was
ineffective because he's already nice and warm i'm going to which would be better here
you know what uh i'm just gonna cover him in goop spaghetti you know what isn't bothered by heat
all that much shrapnel oh no so i'm going to reload my launcher and i'm going to fire
a moderate junk bomb at him then i'm gonna take a map minus five who knew uh still no range penalty
but i'll take the map penalty oh that's a mess because that was a three yeah that's good i'm
gonna use one of the hero points that i have been given and i'm going to re-roll hero point make sure
hero point don't don't with me video game don't don't don't do it video game yeah it rolls off thank
god well yeah thank god for the the plus 10 yeah there you go freaking mulligan ah you rolled a three
here's a four white like like like you know what it's just like here let me let me put these little
training wheels on your training bike there you go the the finger just moved the die one face all
around the full all right anyway trap no also does sticky bomb damage so that's nice yeah that will be
an 18 slashing bang
take it ow all right and with that there is nothing else for me to do and turn
okay that's your time tan howser time tan howser time all righty then my turn is going to be quite
simple i'm going to go ahead move right about hmm actually merendale just a quick thing yeah i don't
know if you have something that prevents this but because the the sticky ability um has the additive
trait you can only use it on one thing you make per rep oh no i just forgot to untick it for that
one my bad yeah no no no worries go ahead and take one of those off i don't care which
which would be the second one that's because i'll just you would have assumed the cold was
gonna do that yeah yeah no you're good here perfect i take ten howser back to you ten howser is going
to then very quickly strike a chord with the time stream and oh loosen times arrow
and i'm going to go ahead and give everybody including myself and snot's gabba walker
it's not gonna walker the uh the lovely quickened status effect everyone gets an extra action until the
end of my next turn that they can use to step or stride awesome i love being hazed very punk
very punk and then i'm going to use that extra action to just get a little bit closer
a little bit closer and just just a little bit close i'll take some cover over here uh on this pew
okay you have to take cover to benefit from it but i get well doing yeah there you go well then
ah i got you all right speed and then i shall uh try to find the move turn on but yeah enter there
you go ah yeah it's with how it's laid out it has shifted it even but now we get to speed things up
time to speed up oh it is going to be so perfect except it's vampire
well i have to make a save because i'm in the thing hulky can you repost your uh
your annoying spell thing there please thank you absolutely
hmm you got it microwave you might make it around us
make it williams save
all right
i should not see what we're working with here
what the middle guy oh that's gonna be a failure you slowed one let's turn
bomb well that's good because he has only one thing he's going to do this turn
i wonder what he's gonna do
no you actually this is gonna be worse you're gonna dislike this a lot
of course he's gonna use quicken i hate this
hey arendelle what's up he's gonna guess haste
haste yeah so so he can get out of the slow but hey at least he has to do that
no he's actually gonna cast he's gonna cast it on an ally
okay well my question thurston yes i happen to have counter spell
counter spell have you read it to extend a prepared spell to counter the triggered creatures
casting and that saves me okay but even though loose times arrow provides a quick end action
which haste also does and is not a spell i retract my question
correct did did you want to cast haste on his ally instead speaker no i wanted to counter the
fuck you want to counter spell but in order in order you need to um cast the same spell so
don't worry if this guy casts safe passage i got us
well oh god i feel like i'm wait speaker i'm bullying you so much have a hero point i just
because i bullied you there thank you thank you all my good spells are are kind of uh got used
fighting baron harkonnen so uh good luck everybody don't worry i'm i'm here now i can and i have a
full uh armament with me so we should be okay beautiful i hope all right that's that's the end of the slow
guys go
she's not a goblin okay uh so uh this is where um million dollar baby starts playing as uh i will
i want to make it a million dollar baby uh and i will because i i really want to win i really want
to do this i really want to do this thursday please let me do this uh no um i will uh spend one action
to command uh the great iron goblin thus giving it two actions um i am then going to uh target my
funny little guy with my overdrive ability uh overdrive lets me buff my guy uh simple as is
uh i will have to roll a crafting check however uh as she not uh
and i have accidentally there we go uh i will roll my crafting check to see how successful am i
i enrolled an 11 which is a success and i now get to slap overdrive onto my big scary guy um
uh and then we go to the good shit um
uh i will
i will spend one of the actions that my cool robot god thanks due to tannhauser uh it will move a
let's see here i did upgrade its movement speed let's freaking go um
um um uh it will move five ten um uh 15 is there all right uh and then it will be
25 25 so it will move right there for two actions and then as my third action i wish to um
uh point and scream at uh the cool hasted
uh vampire as snot screams for our last action uh that is a demoralize uh my demoralize attempt
on which one specifically again the one the hasted one one the one below yeah give me a check
uh uh here is my intimidation check let's go let's see if i can do this scream i scream
i roll a six for total 20 which is a failure uh but uh last but not least uh my cool mech will um
um start to all right yeah i did that that's awesome uh i will then just
end my turn here if that's the case um i will uh remain here by myself i will not spend my move action
to run into the big scary area um come into the fire but i will uh end my turn here putting snot in
between the scary guys and my allies
excellent
the flaming the flaming guy heals a bit from fast healing oh fuck okay
i know he's getting a lot of damage over time get your dots well then he casts a spell
he raises his hands but then also has to make a save against hulkies thing so i just need to go
grab all these things you gotta you gotta make sure he's not slow you gotta grab it again
i got it here billy billy quiz for fuck sakes he fails so he slowly raises his hands
raising his hands in slow motion as one does he surrenders oh good all right we'll take him off the
oh shit uh-oh fireball ah why do we keep doing this wait i'm in the air wait wait wait
how do we keep doing this we keep getting in these positions this is like this is like me playing
horus heresy and being like oh yeah templates are a thing in this edition all right roll your reflexes
everyone all right i got a success
i like i love i love the audible things why did you privately roll
were you just that ashamed dodo yeah you privately rolled you clicked on the privacy button right click
it and i think you can show to everybody how does the how does your mech have to succeed the saving
throw but you don't i i paint it i i've smeared and and a fire assistant retarded on it i'm gonna use
a hero point i really don't want to get my ass blasted i like the idea that it was actually just uh oh
that's bad like the idea that's not just stood up at the wrong time like yes yeah she points and
screams at the guy and gets fire in her face there you go okay there we go
oh no can you right click that and reveal it to everybody or your little it's still doing that why
why is it doing that in the bottom right of your chat um you will see a couple of guys like a planet
icon a guy on a tree yeah it's it's toggled on make sure it's on the planet icon make sure that's
highlighted yeah that's what it says the the planet is highlighted dang do a normal roll for me please
did that go yeah that one's weird weird all right anyway you blow up yeah okay i blow up
my main goal is to blow up i'm i'm rolling damage here one sec uh oh in our mouths i'll just let
me take the damage fuck it wow i know oh i'm sorry it wasn't great it wasn't the worst uh vena will take no
damage rahua will take uh
three damage
it was a very uh limp-wristed fireball
yeah it's true he just he just he just didn't he just didn't have it in him when he threw it
he's just not really feeling it today man not impressed
i'm a hell bit impressed
i mean
it did do let's see 12 19 31 37 42 points of damage overall yeah that's not bad
little bit little bits little bits spread out over six targets is not a yeah though
why am i glad i took toughness
all right i have to make a you have to save here to see if i get four actions or if i get
three or three
uh did you roll for his i rolled for the other guy he failed that's why he only did the
oh the persistent damage yeah yeah i'm trying to keep you i'm trying to uh it auto does the
math when i end the turn so so you still he's still affected uh he took five damage and then
uh i make a recovery test and he fails so he took the damage and it applied that already
uh hulky can you post your spell again oh sorry i can post again
it's getting buried so many times
it's fair somebody should really stop this guy he keeps casting stagnate time
what does he do that so many times oh he'll succeed so he's gonna keep his four actions
this is good don't do that
you fools we all have stagnate time and then they all cast stagnate time no hulky
yeah you know you're fine but vena's getting close um hey wait hold on hey vena no yeah
saver saver saver just be frightened off the board oh
oh my god oh my god as he gives you a vision of your own death
oh my god
okay
that's right we're level 11 we're gonna start seeing it oh my god okay
okay okay okay i don't need more visions of my death i've seen that
shit what did you roll half of it i rolled a 36 sorry podcast
you'll still take 13 points of damage and be frightened one oh i don't want to see my death
again come on wait i forgot to mark that time for that and for his next two actions
uh he does it again no no he casts haste on his buddy come on there you go tick tock
it could be worse i'm and they're just doing this silently like hand motions and there's like
demonic fire coming out of the ground vena like halts of the puf in midair like looking down at the
vision of their own death they seem to be like moving faster like these strange sort of vampiric
speed increases very fun all i'm gonna say i'm just happy that we are forcing them to have to use
haste inside the slow circle yes true let's not let them leave no yeah okay so this is the guy with
the fire shield right mm-hmm okay well i don't want to go in the slow bubble that doesn't seem like a
great time i know the spot north of him is free yeah no that's the thing um because i imagine that with a
fire shield being close to him is bad news bears um but nothing ventured nothing gained so uh yeah i'm
gonna go so i'm 15 feet up i'm gonna go uh 25 feet here then i'm gonna go down 10 feet where i'm kind of
hovering above him like a wasp yeah uh and i'm going to uh i'm going to
first i'm going to kind of midair tumble through and kind of tumble around yeah yeah
i'm doing sick things in the sky she did a barrel roll come on okay okay fine you can have that
oh wait that is that is just that was just a regular athletics that was not my tumble through
that wasn't even an acrobatics agrobatics uh although i don't think i get that
i think i'm finachless
oh is it let's see here uh it's versus fortitude right i believe so
uh oh enemy's reflex dc now get dumped get
um like you try to like move through it's like flaming shield around and it just blocks you and
you're like oh he can't see my cool maneuvers damn it all right well whatever uh then i will
hit him normal style with my sword what's normal okay just just like a stash slow poke poke
yeah i'm just poking him just jabbing him
really wish i had that finisher damage here you go okay
there you go this would have been really impressive if i had panache that's 40 points of damage yeah
about to say that's pretty good yeah that's pretty impressive i said the dice givers and the dice
taketh away and he's slowed one again there you go oh i know dc 22 42. yeah we'll see if he passes
that we'll see if he passes i'm sure he will uh let me you're sure he will so you're not even gonna roll
oh yeah oh look at that he definitely
i'll have him take the damage though
oh yeah because he's got a fire shield and it's frost oh well that's the funny part here
is that not even why oh all right well veena's still going to uh kind of with a flourish
stab through the fire trying to find the heart of this vampire and just
try to uh uh stake his ass
but to no avail uh that's my turn
it's not working all right i'm trying to stake him that's what they told me to do
oh you guys oh dear veena's on the other side of a wall of flame against three old guys with fire
joy of joys it's fine i'm so good i'm so fucking fast they can't get me and listeners i couldn't use
the shield because you have to raise the shield but um he got he got uh he got caught up in in bad news
slow bears so he couldn't do that i see yeah yeah all right all right what are you doing
i'll tell you what i'm doing i'm making a measurement between you and me he's measuring
uh oh shit he's measuring oh he's measuring just planning something real quick he's planning to
put in a new kitchen i am i have to install these microwave ovens
that is true who is always saying that i'm assuming it's uh extra five feet to get over one of these
pews if i walk like over it yeah it's just treat it treat is difficult going through yeah okay and that'll
put me right here i'm exposed but that's okay you're 30 feet away from me damn uh
wow that was possibly one of the worst fireballs i've ever seen
uh i wish you wouldn't cast it anymore if i do this you won't um who's gonna target
do and i'm going please my target hello can you i i'm trying to there we go there you go
uh who's gonna cast blindness gosh
okay mr debuffs yeah give them the uh three-day blindings too okay hey roll me uh hey roll me
concealment sure we can't see 20 please oh sorry i i have a a d100 can i roll after you instead no
okay perfect you can see in target
all right oh no oh that one
uh oh yeah yeah that will uh that's correct that will that will succeed damn well he's blind until
the next turn yep all right that's all i'm going to do all right touche baldrick
so just a query did i so when he when tanhauser cast loose time zero what did that do again did that
give people haste what was yes everybody has a extra action they can use to move okay so so i can use
that to move because i'm going to use that to move so i'm not in the splash zone anymore
that's fair so i'm going to quickly move uh northward 10 feet
which will put me slightly out of range of
actually no he's still well within range but i'm going to uh
pretend like he isn't no i'm thinking i'm thinking
thinking uh you think the intelligence guy is thinking do you think that you could polish off
that guy up there vena of course i can who do you think i am vena
i can do it i'm fine all right good and then uh baldrick will uh i'm gonna test something thurston
because as i hit level 11 i became privy to a very funny um
um shall i say feat called advanced vials okay which allows concern which allows me
to mix special ingredients into my vials such as magical dust or flakes of precious minerals
very small volume so i probably i'm assuming that means i have them i treat it like an imbued reagent
right or something to that effect or do we need to have them on me um let's see here so i think you
just keep them yeah you can choose to have it treated as one special material of your choice
chosen from adamantine cold iron or and dawn silver
okay now i don't know what all that's gonna do in regards to directly targeting a bad guy like that
but for some reason my brain he's dawn silver and is like hey that sounds like something really
good to use against vampires that makes sense uh let's see checks out
um making first time look at you it seems reasonable seems kind of reasonable
i'm going to quickly conjure up a versatile vial made of dawn silver that deals fire damage and i'm
going to hurl it at the guy directly dead center who is perfectly fine i'm gonna make my roll my d20
for concealment if you're okay with that yep
ah ass it's one so i don't hit him does that mean i don't hit him at all or i don't make the attack
um no so it means you will it means you don't hit him at all concealment doesn't even i think if you
miss via concealment you don't do splash damage either i was just inquiring if that means i waste a shot
you do yeah okay and it counts as an attack yeah fine well then that's my turn yeah um i'm gonna
double check this because it is like a weird um
yeah no no it doesn't happen by raw all right lane end of my turn sorry the the vial is broken
you're like you're having to like watch silhouettes because it's like vena and this vampire fighting
behind a blazing like demonic fire wall and you're like okay what shadow am i going for and you toss and
they're they're they're ducking and weaving it's just hard because you don't have good line of sight
to them yeah tan hazard all right tan hauser turn i'm gonna do something stupid i'm gonna do this
okay and that's my hastened move then tan hauser realizing that i've not exactly got a lot of
actually damaging uh spells it says i swore i wouldn't kill with my hands i never said anything
about pseudopods oh and i'm going to cast ooze for him
i'm gonna turn into a black pudding fuck yeah it's time okay
um
you're gonna you're gonna turn to that size inside the wall of fire
oh uh yeah yes i am we love it we love a man who doubles down yes i am that's all i got
yes i'm just yes we can i'm just gonna drop this in chat here um it's cool
i'm just gonna roll this fire damage here it's probably not gonna be that great
nope certainly isn't you'll take six points of fire damage i'll take six points of fire damage
and then with my one remaining action i am going to make a melee pseudopod attack upon this guy
okay so let me open my characters together chat chat chat how long how long did it take for him
to like make this grand i'm gonna be a pacifist and then just like i never said i was gonna be a pacifist
uprooted entirely by being like pseudo pods aren't hands with my hands that was my i wasn't gonna kill
anyone with a weapon in my hands actually was the real oath i don't use weapons anymore
so we didn't even swear one no i had a sword i was the sword guy
a likely story all right i missed i don't see the pod misses
still up on my oath
no matter what i'm still up on my own
stairs in the camera
my oath was not to use a weapon which means i can't use any of the cool weapons
stairs into the camera keep going if i was god i'd be pissed
well hey don't worry don't worry don't worry don't worry it's not like i tied the difficulty to the one of
the final dungeons to the decisions players have made that would that would be mean
that i made a crazy i made a real oath it's gonna be inconvenient for me in the future
i can't use weapons anymore period yeah wizard well-known users of weapons
and how is a well-known user of weapons
hey i tried to give up my hand i was implying that it wasn't good enough because i could get a replacement
so you downgraded i upgraded he settled i got a cool skeleton head too
that is pretty sick i'll give you that one it's pretty sick to have a skeleton hand
the blind the blind lad is gonna um oh god make a well save first of all
boils you blindly uh fails so we'll be slowed one um
um well since it can't see
it can't see
uh it's also just gonna cast a shield of fire on itself makes sense
that's all it can do as it like like raises its hands looking around unable to detect anything in
its temporary blindness it creates a blasting um shield of fire around itself uh it's not a goblin
yeah um so the big scary area is still up there uh don't like that don't like that um
that means that we're gonna move to the closest area where all of this is happening i my big cool neck
uh is large um uh very notable fact um let's see here real quick that's twin
uh okay so me and my awesome cool mech are gonna move north uh as
uh the two of us will move 20 feet north norward northward uh no 25 right 25 feet northward and then
we're gonna move uh 25 feet uh east running around the pews exactly uh are you both running through the fire
no uh we we are exactly on the brink of it as uh snot's big scary neck yeah this is the fire here
right this one the fire is the wall the circle is okay yeah the circle is the stagnant time
who cares then give me the saving throw there's no saving throw you just take flat damage both of
you you just take you just take yeah yeah yeah yeah so you'll both take
uh seven or six points of damage so here yeah fire
oh no it hit the fuel tank snot takes one point of damage that's right i'm used to being hot
through the fire and the flames we carry on um
uh hey thurston as my big as my final actions since my big robot i spent two actions moving
uh i have two actions left uh for one action uh i wish to enter a crane stance as uh she enters the
uh the goblin fighting stance of raising a rock uh and i wish to uh strike the uh the the scary man
while aloft of my cool mech uh i will want to smack him twice with my super duper cool rock that i have
uh smack him in the peepee i get out in the peepee she did smack him in the peepee vampires are weak
to people who are not weak to fire
uh i roll a total of 28. uh some of that is coal damage just in case
uh and then i roll my second strike
i rolled an 11 for a total of 28 which is still a hit it's gonna hit
and i smack him with a rock on the rebound
and that is a total of 20. nice and that is the end of my turn baby it's not looking good he's not
looking good but he's gonna heal up a bit no and for his first action
he's gonna try to shove you vena shove me yeah won't do that
he'll fail yeah actually what is your fortitude dc right now my fortitude dc yes yeah that's a good
question where do i check that it's gonna be 10 plus your fortitude which i think you're good on
right now i think you're i think it's still gonna fail so i was more checking uh if the frightened
condition applies to that so oh because i need to see let me i'm going to increase your frightened
value here it does okay so you're good yeah okay cool uh all right all right well that failed so he's
unhappy there also i have to make a save to see if he's stagnated
well he's definitely he crit fails which i don't know if that does anything special for stagnant time
is that slowed too or something or uh it means that he's uh oh wait it's not slowed too so it's all
he could do yeah yeah because he crit failed so he literally tries to shove you vena and fails and
that's his turn he's going so slow that it just tripped goes over um and then he'll take a bit of cold damage
and then he'll try to recover
and he'll recover from the cold damage and that will be the end of his turn um that will bring us
to the next member of the black pepsi who will also need to uh make an appropriate save here
which is not good so that'll be a fail um and then we'll only get three actions so their first
action is going to be to exit this i'm looking at the pseudopod there as it floats out and eerily
stares at the pseudopod
tan hauser it's me tan hauser it's going to make you see a vision of your own pseudopod
ill death give me a will save please i i gurgle in fear you're goddamn right you do
oh no you don't no you don't i gurgle in bravery i gurgle in
common misconception common misconception you'll take half damage from this and our frightened one
that's what i said
but you are a frightened pseudopod thing and that's his go with the slowed quickened uh vena you're
okie dokie uh so i'm gonna i'm first going to do a another little barrel roll adam i'm gonna tumble
through um do that please there it goes i'm going to tumble through you
that was terrible that was a four i'm not very coordinated in the sky uh that was my first action
second action second action i'll try it again yes why not second action i got this
there we go maybe that's a 35 there you go uh attempting to tumble through that will
yay succeed not a great success but a success so i'll get my panache
we going smash i am whoa and then i'm going make anything with it
don't say that or do i'm trying really hard i know you are i'm salty because i have to shoot
through a wall of obscuring fire i know i'm sorry you gotta get over here you know i'm not moving
through the wall of fire that's a great idea fire and the flames you carry on
all right uh yeah striking him my sword that still somehow hits with a 28. their ac is garbage
uh and i do have my thing ticked yes finisher yes okay yes i do
my dice 33 points of damage
it collapses ah all right one down two to go we got really i really don't want to go through the slope
but i feel like i'm gonna have to
do because uh my gun is a little pea shooter so i'm gonna use my uh i got loose times arrow right
the the i i was it only lasts for one i would only last for one turn uh then that's my entire go
that's three actions um that's that's me okay which of these fuckers cast the big firewall
this one okay so it is man in the dead center so i need to make him go away
uh i mean if if you if you don't like him i guess you could i don't like him he's making me roll a
concealed check
seems silly um judgmental even yeah rahua you're in this judgmental album alchemist
you are very in grenade range oh i think thurston's actually pretty far away i don't know if you i
don't know you're gonna hit it what i was talking about i'm in canada you can't fight that you know
the range penalty to attack canada i could make it if i get a 20. god damn it i could take it he says
yeah
i seem to be making some mileage in this fight just helping my teammates
well time to run up and melee them i agree listener did you know that teamwork
makes the dream work it's true uh we are no longer hasted correct
that is correct that's awesome uh jesus let me make sure i swear that i need a monitor the size of my
wall just to see everybody on this thing because of how big the overlay is at times
uh sir who is gonna just move on up there yeah make sure young baldrick is in that rain right there
who's gonna shoot the vapor oh i'm about to uh scream actually oh no i'm not i like i'm about to scream
oh i'm about to make a play for myself what's happening roe is gonna target each one of his allies and
yeah i really don't want to deal with these guys so
and we'll target the strings of fate and cast loose nine zero
you may use this
oh my gosh oh my god okay finally um so i so i i have to be that person now
uh-oh i have to be that person that's the the wall of fire you have to make concealment checks on your
allies i see i see this is where baldrick's like haha i get the buffs is the fire magical in nature
thurston is it a spell effect make sure i understand that correctly what why uh will you permit me
a mulligan a takesie backsy if you will okay sure
i would like to dispel magic yeah there we go there's there's there's a good
excellent excellent let's do it let's do it roe was like wait a second that was a
fucking terrible idea i could do this instead and just snaps back to the current timeline go away
waves his hand out and cast can interact can interact please
roll it oh i would like to hero point that that was yeah you probably want to
i'm gonna i'm gonna do that i would i would recommend that
oh wow luckily luckily with the pity system we have in place that is enough to dispel the wall of fire
oh thank god for pity everybody honestly that has been like a really good addition to this i'm not
gonna lie it feels terrible it's so good hero point and then fail
fail worse right now i'm rolling a two from rolling a three
the way forward is clear lay waste to them
all right just for who are deadpans lay waste to them my children
okay fire on it they're world lined my friends you got it uh with my grenade reloaded here because i loaded
that as my last with a junk bomb i am going to uh
shit i don't know sticky bomb i'm gonna you know i'm gonna just shoot a
junk bomb at him because he's pissed me off do it
fire on it uh fire on it ah just misses again with a two all right i'm gonna hero point it again
yeah screw you system you i believe that's a hit
32 32.
okay roll it damage wise
so that'll get him with the sticky bomb
but that's pretty solid damage yeah
23 and then 10 on splash and he will take
10 bleed over time yeah okay i'm going to reload i'm going to untick sticky bomb because it won't
have it this time and that means i'm also out of these junk bombs so so much for that
uh what am i loading this time you know what bottom lightning sounds good
well lightning's great load it up that makes people off guard right it does uh provided anything
fire on it that's a miss christ can i catch a break that's a four but you'll get splash so i
will get splash but i just won't get any effect alas
splash them
baldrick does have a hero point left oh no i only had two
yeah i used i used one earlier and i used one now yeah
it's all good is that it for baldricks go
uh i don't think i have anything else yeah i got nothing left enter all right before we go to tanhouser
yeah how's oren doing he's not in the scene
what's oren doing we're doing the cutaways oren what's oren up to don't do this big keep going
i'm fixing everything in the background right now
i'm also taking notes so this is an excellent time
okay ldr all right he's still talking to the elevator it's a long
he's making us he's making a sandwich it is good
it's a good elevator for like 20 good chunk cut chunk all right um
also whenever you're on that one remember the complications
i think we missed the one oh that's uh did anybody yeah i didn't i'm perfect in every way
i think the only one i haven't seen that ones the only one that i rolled was for a concealment
oh yeah that's kind of iffy yeah yeah this is a minor we're good though keep going yeah okay uh
tanhouser the ooze monster here tanhouser will gurgle aggressively okay come to here which one of
these guys is responsible for the wall of flame which by the way i should take damage from right now
no it's gone it got dispelled yeah well whatever i'm still gonna kick that guy's ass okay and uh
having moved i'm going to go and i'm going to attack oh oh right how's her
crit hauser well we'll get ourselves a crit
remember to announce your dice rolls and we'll go ahead and get 50 damage on that
you you absolutely knock it down blasting it
revolution and now i'm going to map and attack this other one over here
okay oh that is a 30 and we'll see what my damage is looking like
he's not hitting for 29 government nice 30 and 30. that's true and then tanhouser will say
and that'll be the end
it's not a goblin yes it is my turn um as this thing has been dunked on um
and this big scary area does still exist uh i am going to uh let's see here can i do this
no i can't hang it put all my points into jumping really far and still i can't do this uh but it's all
good um i am going to command my super duper cool mech to um
move into the scary area uh even though it is a scary area uh what shall i do when i enter the scary
area the scarier if you will this area if you will
save me from
scary uh uh well it's i think you have to end your turn or start your turn in the scary area
really for the stagnant time right that's what you're saying yeah like can i just run through
it and that's fine i think so let me double check any creature that begins its turn yep so you can
just go through it really yeah run fast yeah if that's the case um i would like to uh spend one
action to command my cool mech to uh move twice downwards uh southwards past the entire thing through
slimehauser um and up to the scary vampire uh now i snotta goblin cannot reach this little guy here
but you know what i can do because it's funny
uh hey
you're okay with with a little bit of with a little bit of explosions right yeah i don't know if tanhauser
is but you know what was that just deal yeah tanhauser look away wherever your eyes are in this form
uh and uh i would like to spend two actions to explode oh please explode i wish to explode uh
my main goal is to blow up in my funny 10 foot emanation uh so the explosion uh will
will appear and i will make it appear no way
uh it will appear from
no why what is the 10 foot no why why is the 10 foot emanation
you don't need to place it that we know who's gonna get hit it's gonna be the guy
you don't need to place it oh awesome in that case uh dc uh 30 reflex save please
all right all right dc 30 reflex save i got it i got it
well i did the opposite um it did the opposite yeah yeah what did they get all right i got out
nat one whoa that's so cool game master do you have a complication that uh already no i don't
tanhauser roll your dice though
uh well you know i mean do i really have to i swear to god if you crit fail here it will be god
so what actually happens is that uh snot just fires her entire mech like a rocket across the room
it lands onto the floor and it explodes uh after she screamed that out to tanhauser and uh
uh i roll my dice and i get a total of 38 fire damage uh so tanhauser takes 38 and um the vampire dies
because as already stated i told you i told you vampires are weak to people who aren't weak to fire
the vampire is blown up moments later uh uh all three of the vampires i knew they had too little hp suddenly transform
what huh huh i knew this wasn't over missed
like vampires and then they all begin to just like float back out of the room
oh hey does somebody have like wind does oh tanhauser's a slime
okay i'll i'll begin slowly inching out of the room chasing after them is there is there a door
that i can slime under uh well remember you blew like a little section that was a big you can tell
the mist is like floating away faster than you can currently move are you telling me that it's
floating away faster than 50 feet per per round yes how could that be possible
um hey everyone uh oh let's take a break you ever wonder how we could afford all this amazing art
and keep the production going and narrative declaration well it's because of you either
you're a member of patreon a youtube member or a twitch subscriber all the way to just someone who's
just willing to watch the shows whenever they come out for free and then telling people that we exist
it's thanks to you that narrative declaration is able to grow to the size it is today and if you
want to really help it grow even more all the revenue that we get from our merch store at
narrative declaration.shop where you can pick up game mats t-shirts posters all sorts of things
that also goes directly into supporting artists animators editors players game masters anybody
anybody who helps make everything to be due here successful so thank you so much to you for
supporting the show either it's monetarily or just with your time thank you so much and enjoy the show
function function
here we go function are we functioning
oh sorry see okay every time i'm gonna call this out now welcome back everybody but every time
we do a call in and then zorn will like say something and then that will be like the cue after he's like
checked us in uh now i'm expected to say something oh the pressure's on hi everybody welcome back
uh the vampires have been defeated or at least driven off um the party has exited from the strange chapel
where they have received the uh the gift of flame for tanhauser what are you all doing all right so
where the hell is this nail is it not the million ducket question
tanhauser stop being a slime so we can talk to you
all right fine i'll stop being a slime
he likes being a slime can you say that as you're a slime
no no i'm saying like you talk normally as a slime because you talk normally the entire time
he just liked burbling like he could get into it yeah i have to stay in character
um i have a question yeah i um did you
does all of you supposedly knew about this elemental god thing that all of you are chasing but didn't want
to tell me um oh uh are are you going to just leave now or or or what's the plan still to she looks
over at tanhauser actually killed the the vampire overlords are you just gonna leave us again
i just got here we still haven't found the actual nail ceiling uncle blaze so
oh asterisk asterisk asterisk you you do know where those are like those were all of the sites that
you know about so that that nail was was the tree from where you fought uncle blaze
oh right but we're we're looking specifically for these sites of the power oh the gift yes
yeah so so uh to to to answer the meta question yes you have checked off the main quest in golgotha
now ah okay uh defeat the vampire overlords and free the people is like i don't know a higher level
optional quest side quest yeah it's not seems genuinely like sort of upset about this
i did not come here to leave my people again in the dust and grime being said the quest i am currently
embarked upon is one that without my inclusion could well see the world turn to but rot and ruin in its
entirety i will do what i can while i am here and should i be compelled to leave i will return forth wheat
but there are still vampires to kill
there is still liberty to win
i can't exactly leave without everyone else so yeah i'm here for whatever's going on
much as we need to uh hit the rest of the points
we're in it for the long haul tanny so
do you want to try to track down whoever's lording over this place but of course
let us find where that dreadful smog has retreated to and rip it out from its very source
all right on that note i'd like to uh attempt to uh
uh catch wind of the trail of that horrid smog potentially to track it down to its very source
yeah what what kind of skill would you like to use here let's see uh i've got arcana am i still
frightened no you should that should be no i'm still an ooze you are still an ooze yes get oozed i should
do you use a fun um but yeah i'll go ahead would arcana or occultism be more happy
uh in this case occultism you got it
uh unnatural why yay we needed a complication need a complication good what you got lined up dog
i've got all of mine already chosen
and mine this time is going to be let's see where's one that i've gotten here ah here we go
this one is from armis and it's clown clown commandos was here you stumble across evidence of the infamous
clown commandos whatever i find leaves me shaken or otherwise distracted
hunky crow yeah oh yes you you as the resident clown expert the clexpert even
i hate that never use that again ever in fact i'm gonna give you a hero point just so you never use it
again wow cool yay rewarded for just speaking but you are the silly scholar i am yeah yeah yeah you are
the silly scholar please please describe the discovery about the clown commandos
it's fun listening to erndale die real time
let me dive into the depths of my brain folds i'm not permitted to access this very often but just this
once enter into your uh memory palace i'm entering into my mind big top
you find remnants of what appear to be several gag items many of these would be associated with many vaudeville
acts your typical tramps your rubber chickens your endless handkerchiefs
you're juggling clubs
now
these are associated most commonly with one particular
troub of clowns many of which do
troub
yes true they did they travel in troops okay yes they travel in troops there are several
different ones jangle's clown was the one to unite them as you may remember
yes yes um i actually have to make sure that i have the right one for this because as we know
there are several different troops that are very distinct
going into leading up to and after the clown wars
makes sense perfect sense
i mean and that's a topic that everyone
if they're going to be taken seriously as a scholar yeah of course
so did the clown commandos manifest during times of supposed peace or are they during the clown wars
themselves the clown commandos manifested during and after the clown wars as an extension of
the militant sex of several troops
these daring dunces
would launch equally daring raids upon other troops to advance their agendas and also
upon many hapless civilians
to spread their messages
many of those civilians
like many unfortunately fell during the clown wars would also become part of their acts
whether that was during an inciting incident or well after the fact
upon further inspection
of several of these props
such as the chickens you may notice that they are not quite rubber chickens but instead stitched flesh
many of them having distinctly
humanoid hairs
rubber noses no different not actually rubber in fact many of these are not objects you would otherwise
associate with a real world clown in fact much darker as
it is known the clown commandos would use every part of their audience
to strike both fear and whimsy in their targets
i i hold the horrendous flesh chicken in my hand looking at it
uh never quote that out of context chat carry on
this freakish flesh chicken
that i hold in my hand trembling
i look up at ruhua
you know what this means
we gotta get the fuck out of here
that's what this means
we need to go immediately there are grimaldi clowns here
oh my god i didn't realize it we're in clown territory
uh you just seal this part of the underground completely
you hear distantly from behind the door from behind that area that you had found baldrick in
the very distant echo of all right guys i think i hear them down this way
oh we have to go
run back to the elevator hello it's me jollo i've arrived you need to you where are you going
we're we're gonna pick a random doorway and we're gonna hope that they went down that way
that's what i think are you are you are you all heading back to the elevator now
the elevator's not here
remember we're trapped down here hello
i just need to get out of this vent
maybe he knows where where the vampires went no it's not don't let them trick you there's going
to be only one of them stuck in the vent but then once we help that one another 12 will follow
they're all in the vent together that seems very impossible that's like walking up to a sewer drain
and walking up to a guy and he just pulls you in is that a goblin i hear i can't wait to make my
favorite prop a goblin skin football okay we're leaving
yeah let's get the out of here yeah please check your dms uh-huh
oh no hello where are you guys running to i can hear you just let me get through this vent real
quick it's got ah there's some light i i assume that like what you start seeing is like
if if any of you saw um the stephen king's it the mini series not that not the movies when tim
curry comes out of of the train and it briefly switches to claymation oh god that's that's what
occurs as the clown emerges it's me jollo you've heard my voice now prepare to feel my wrath i fire my
gun no vena no make an attack roll make an attack roll
i got it i got it i got it i have to load it all what do you mean yeah you uh you fire it and it
clicks and instead of bang uh flag comes out because you haven't loaded it oh we already got
grabs vena like a plank of lumber and just starts booking it all right the ontomorphic effects we
can't fight this we're going to we're going to run from jollo now we're going to we're going to
be a matter of time before we're all completely clownified i'm not going to do that to you all
right i'm going to put my shakers on your skull and i'm going to stretch it wide open and use it as a
cup to pour you know let's get out you know you know i feel like one sec one sec one sec it does
seem like a fitting capstone like a fitting capstone to the intensity of tanhauser's arc
that the final encounter of this arc is being chased by a clown in the dark under under the city lands
of golgotha well can i can i do a narrative declaration okay my god can i make can i make
the clown into a vampire oh i already am a clampire how do you how do you think he survived the clown
wars salty my friend you don't need to spend something on that i already am a blood-sucking
creature of the night i am jalo the magnificent now come here so i can skin you
thurston yes i'd like to make a narrative declaration as well i okay sure he's not a
vampire anymore fine okay oh no oh no he's definitely a vampire but as we know comedy is
most comedic in threes i'd like to propose that in the shadow of a banister out steps another clown
commando oh and another drops in from the ceiling it's almost like the three vampires had a second
form no not phase two this this listen listen i have a special message for armis you're getting
your fucking money's worth with this one it's not just a phase two it's a phrase t3 you've got to work
on your delivery jello too oh i'd really try in jello one i'm really trying my best who's
voicing jello three it's not me who's voicing jello three and wouldn't you believe it we all came here
in the same car your car we hid in the trunk well there's room for all of you and your seven organs
of limbs i have witnessed clowns for less than three minutes and i fear for my life thurston what are you
doing jello two bozo i'm jello two you're jello three well i don't want to be jello three i'll be jello 2.5
cut the sound of the elevator uh landing is it booms through the halls you can tell it has returned just
behind you hey i'm gonna get the fuck out of here baltric is going to just wordlessly walk onto the
elevator while the jallos are arguing you would just like this for my wedding by the way when you
refuse to show up in a nice tuxedo oh here we go again about the wedding it's all that was perfectly
appropriate that chopping out of the cake was fine all i'm saying junk you didn't respect the spouse i was
marrying into a mime family and you oh here we go it's considered to be a faux pas when you jump out
of the cake after someone's eaten it you won't even say her name on account of the fact that all the
consonants are silent i can't say a name i've never heard her say it herself i need you to continue this
with your voice is getting more distant as the elevator
why is he talking about circumcision
thurston what are we doing the elevator is heading back to the surface as you've abandoned
whatever dark mysteries lay beneath the black pappas see i i really hope that you guys achieved
that effect by getting up and walking away from your mics i just i just pushed my mic away i'm an
expert at bad mic oh okay i got you i got you wait we really should kill everyone down there
oh absolutely we should nuke this place did you have a coring charge big enough to kill everybody
within four kilometers no that's not a coring charge i mean it cores a lot no if you if you
really think about it a major building is like the core of a settlement i i don't know i'm just fishing
for a means to kill people here what is wrong with you you have no idea what you're capable of you
have no idea what those things are capable of baldrick what i'm not i'm not hearing this
you didn't hear them no i heard them i'm just this is deranged i can't believe i came down here to try
and help and i got involved in clowns i mean to be fair we weren't involved for very long
so what exactly is the plan are we collapsing this place somehow because i'm sure i could conjure
something if you need well i think that the guys who can turn it to mist are also really good at
clearing out a ruin
i mean
i mean tanny did you want to try and find
one of the higher-ups in the black papacy and
you know
you can also give me a appropriate lore check or society check hey to see what you know about that
and may i roll a lore gold gotha 41 absolutely it's awesome oh damn the big lord
oh i might know a few things
oh i rolled a natural 20 yay wow that's pretty good society i didn't mean to click my
ooze effect again i'm sorry i was trying to get nervous and he turns into oozehauser
both of you would know that the black papacy is a mysterious organization um has these sorts of
cathedrals all across the stretch of gold gotha um very likely it's some
specific congregation not all of them would be here um but you'd find cathedrals like this all
across the lands this would just be one small branch of men uh much like the citadel you you
managed to usurp it back into the hands of the free people uh is you know one citadel amongst many
with the the sort of dead one being golgotha himself there are other churches this would just
be one example so it's not like it's not like that this is the final battle for defeating the black
papacy as they are kind of everywhere but but you do know that that with the the way that that they've
set up there um and and this would be probably snot's crit success um with the way that they've
got their their earth blood sort of pumping through here some kind of disturbance to that
would make this area non-appealing and probably force them to
because they could uh
um
can i not do you promise
i did promise but couldn't the citadel above use that earth blood
it they could
but here we are all right
what if
we find the scariest guy in here
And if we kill him, then all of a sudden, hear me out,
all of the weaker guys will be, like, freaking out and running away.
That works just fine for me.
But first, I need to look at the Game Master.
Excuse me, Thurston Hillman.
Hi.
I was wondering, is there maybe another phase of that boss battle
that we didn't encounter, that we really should go back and encounter,
or are we kind of done down here for the day?
I think you've dealt with the threat and got the thing you needed.
Unless you want us to spend more time doing, like, political upheaval in Golgotha.
All right.
I think we've currently—I turned back to everybody else.
I think we've currently explored everything that we can on the darkness below.
Now is the time to meet back with our victorious revolutionaries
and begin the establishment of the new polity that shall control this citadel!
Hey, Thurston.
How long is it going to take the elevator to get to the surface?
Uh, you'd say, like, it's about, like,
like, since Ka-Chunk isn't talking to Oren the entire time,
it's actually a fairly fast process.
Okay.
He was—he just really liked talking to Oren.
He was—he was slow.
He was slow-rolling, literally.
Could you describe to me where this elevator sits
and how these guys got access to it?
Is it just, like, on the surface and the airships above it?
Uh, so it's—it's in the citadel.
Um, like, in the entrance to the citadel.
In fact, let me see.
I might be able to pull up a—a horrific map.
One sec.
A horrific map?
A horrific map.
Done by my amazing partner, Thutale.
Ah, here we go.
I'm gonna say horrific because it's, like,
the state of the last battle we had, which—
I'm—
Was horrific.
Was horrific?
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Um—
True.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, oh, there's bathtub.
We got titer.
Okay, yeah.
Titer.
Titer.
Titer.
Titer.
All right.
Yeah.
Did you see this map?
I see it, yeah.
Yeah, so the—uh, you have to understand
that the front door is also burst open by an ornithopter.
Don't ask.
Okay.
Uh, so, I'm assuming the elevator is coming up
from, like, the throne area, right?
Yeah, so it's—it's basically, like, coming up
from, uh, from one of these sort of circular, like, areas.
So one of these is what you're all coming—
Okay.
This grating here.
Yeah.
Um, as the elevator is getting up to the surface, uh, Baldrick is gonna step aside and head
over to a nearby wall, where you will see that there is a panel that has been shifted
to the side.
Yeah, so this spot here, as I'm sure you're able to see, fellas, that's the vent.
That's how I got down there, all right?
You should probably keep an eye out for these in the future.
That way it's less conspicuous if you plan on going through here.
It's a lot easier than taking the whole elevator.
Uh, oh, speaking of which.
Baldrick fumbles around in his pack for a moment, and he retrieves what looks like just
another versatile vial, and he begins to quickly shake it together.
We also might want to get a move on.
Oh, I'll come.
Sure.
Baldrick is going to walk away from the vent and toss the vial into the vent, where it
can be heard clanging a fair distance down.
Oh.
We need to go now, please.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Go.
Yeah.
Now.
Let's get the fuck out.
Yeah, that makes sense.
You know, I really, I'm kind of, yeah, I'm getting a little tired of being in this area,
and I suppose the explosion is compelling.
It's going to be a bit of a sinkhole in a moment.
Wait, wait, how much of the citadel is?
Wait, Gorgamonger's still in there!
Gorgamonger is still in there!
Look, it's Gorgamonger!
Gorgamonger, no!
You run in, Gorgamonger is gone.
Gorgamonger has his ear buds in, he can't hear us!
Gorgamonger!
It cuts the Gorgamonger on the toilet.
Oh!
Oh, no, no.
I grab Gorgamonger.
You gotta get out of here, man!
He's crazy!
No, come on, Gorgamonger!
We gotta go!
We gotta get out of here, man!
We gotta go!
Oh, no, shut up!
Go!
Go walking out!
I swear to God!
Ah!
Ah!
All right, I got him out.
Oh, it's fast.
Yay!
Wait, Tetherhauser, did you remember to go back and get Boren?
Who's that?
No!
Thanks for representing the fan base there, Tano.
Oh!
Oh!
Damn!
Oh, shit!
Damn!
Fucked!
You know what?
You know what?
The bit is just too funny.
Zoran, Zoran, I know it's out of our rules, but have a pity point, man.
All right, thanks.
You're welcome.
Thanks.
I'll take that pity point.
Gosh.
All right, with that, I assume you all cool dudes out with Tannhauser running shortly thereafter.
We're not cool dudes-ing this.
We are running away like fearful little bitches because there's a very...
After a moment, Thurston, around the perimeter of, like, the circular base of this thing that we're in front of,
a small puff of, like, sand starts puffing up as though it, like, got suddenly a little bit lower into the ground.
Huh.
That's it?
Well, uh, wait for it.
Not by a long shot.
We need to keep moving.
Is that big?
Well, Baldrick motions to the ever-increasing, like, pit of sand that is forming around the front of the structure.
Oh.
There's just, like, this, like, sound, like, from the two, like...
What's your pity point?
Yep.
I would like the airship to suddenly loom over as ropes drop in from the side.
And Oren's kind of waving from the side railings, going like, like, grab on, everybody!
Oren, you heard how to drive?
Who's that guy up there?
I'm figuring it out.
Who taught you how to drive ship?
Leave Tannhauser behind.
We're good.
I'm figuring it out!
I'm figuring it out!
And...
Oh, whoops, wrong background, wrong background.
Wrong background.
Wrong background.
Wrong background.
Wrong background.
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Oren pulls them through time and space, but, like, as they grab on, Oren kind of, like,
he's like, hold on tight!
And as the airship begins to lift up, uh, and the citadel basically explodes in the background,
uh, he begins to kind of, like, reel them in, um, and help them all into the airship.
It's just...
It all just begins to explode.
It's like, man...
Wait, the entire...
Wait, the entire citadel exploded?
No, no, no!
I'm assuming...
I'm assuming that's what's happening.
It's sinking.
It's sinking.
You can...
You can scavenge it later.
Yeah.
It begins to go underground.
Whatever the narrative was, I took the wrong assumption.
Uh, Oren's helping everybody up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Vina climbs up, grabs Oren by the shoulders.
Oren, did you see that?
Did you see that gnome?
It's like, please don't bring up my traumas, Vina.
Damn.
Okay.
It's all right.
You can talk to me about this kind of thing, Oren.
Come here.
I give him a hug and pat his head, and then I go back into the ship, and I lay down.
He's like, aye, captain.
You forgot your wine.
Oh, don't worry.
I always got that thing on me.
I pull another bottle of wine out of my coat.
Oren goes, sheesh.
Vina enters the airship, lays down Saddam Hussein.
Oh, no.
True.
Oren helps everybody into the airship, and he's like, well, I'm trying to figure out how
to do the turn wheel thingy, and so far it's working.
Wait, hold on.
You don't actually know how to fly this thing?
Nope.
Everyone else usually does it.
I mean, sometimes I would go on some trips with some traders and noble people who would
visit home because normally a lot of people would like to trade with us or kind of, you
know, chill out with us as they get materials and stuff.
And then, you know, I go and help part the, you know, part the weather for them sometimes.
But I never, I never, like, like, touched the wheel before.
Oh, shit.
Vina pops up, wine bottle still in hand, rushes up to the wheel, grabs it with one hand, holds
the wine bottle with the other, and takes a long drink and just, I'm a better driver
when I'm drunk.
Oh.
Oh.
We teach important lessons on this show.
We do.
We love Boo's Cruises.
Wait, we still do.
Boo's Cruise.
We need to speak with the, with the resurgent movement in the Citadel.
The ones that have won the battle, we need to debrief them.
All right.
Yeah, I'll turn in the other way.
I, I, I very, like, I just yank the wheel in that direction.
And we, like.
All right.
I just hear Boo's, Ornn holds on.
Hold on, everyone.
She's drunk.
Ornn, where were you?
I thought you died.
I also briefly forgot who you were.
It's, uh, it's okay, Mr. Tannhauser.
I'm used to that.
Anyway, I was fixing all these lines that Mr. Balrogic mentioned.
Look.
And he kind of points over and shows that he's, like, done nature shit.
That kind of, like, kind of fixed up the air shit.
But you also notice that there's, like, more greenery around.
Like, there's, like, more plants.
And he's kind of, like, some of the door frames.
They'll have vines and flowers on them and stuff.
And, like, well, it's, like.
Oh, that's lovely.
It's, like, before, it's, like.
I don't know how I could move the ship and stuff.
But, like, if I make it prettier, like, the ship seems to like it a little bit more.
I don't know why.
Thirsten.
Thirsten, can I roll a crafting to see if a vine can function as a coolant channel?
Yes.
Fuck off with that, too.
22.
You believe it.
It's possible.
I will not question it and we'll move on.
Since I'm now in the scene, for overlay-wise, I've decided I'm going to Banjo-Kazooie somebody.
Good.
It's awesome.
Okay.
So, I need to get my guy.
My Banjo-Kazooie.
Yeah, then I've got to put myself on top of someone.
Hold up.
We're going to make this happen.
I know.
I'm at a minute.
I'm at a minute.
I'm at a minute.
I pick Baldrick.
Baldrick is the only character with a backpack.
Yeah, I pick Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
Baldrick.
There you go.
I'm Banjo-Kazooie now.
And Tannhauser goes.
What are you doing in my pack?
I'm going to get an aspirin.
For all kills, there can be no restitution.
The only solution is revolution.
That was my Gruntilda, everybody.
That was pretty good.
That was pretty good.
That was pretty good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Tantilda.
Tantilda.
If this is Starfinder, someone else would have to be Grover.
Oh no.
It makes extra sense because Oren's got like bird.
He's bird.
Yeah.
Bird.
So he could poop out eggs just like Kazooie.
Yeah.
And he could also carry Baldrick on his back when he-
That's why I have birthing hips.
Yeah.
Alright.
Don't say that.
No, no.
Oren pulls out his feet.
And he has his jays on.
His jays?
Yeah.
And now he can carry Baldrick.
Oren.
Damn Oren, you look fresh as fuck in those.
I don't think he poses with his jays.
We're very serious players, everybody.
He managed to land the ship.
Are we landing the ship?
I don't know what we're doing anymore.
I thought you were going back-
We're going back to the revolution.
Yeah.
Like you have literally the moment where the airship flies over the crowd of cheering people
who are, you know, caught up in a dust storm and probably coughing from the collapsing fortress,
but the airship's mass displacing the air causes the storm to sort of abate,
allowing, like cleaning up the air around them and allowing them to cheer up.
They're all shouting out the name Tanhauser repeatedly.
Yeah, Veena's going to clap Tanhauser on the back and just,
well, bud, best time to plant the seeds right now.
You're right.
The great Iron Goblin picks him up and activates the speaker on top of it.
I'll take the, uh, uh, box, the little radio thing, and I'll call out,
you're right.
Soldiers of the new god.
Today, you have prevailed against tyranny.
You have broken the bonds of those who would hold you enslaved.
And yet with this battle, the work has only begun.
In the coming days, in this new citadel, you will forge a society, not one run by the bonds of the slave trader,
but one, one with your own grit, one created with wastelander, salvager, slave and war dog hand in hand.
I regret that I cannot be there in these coming vital days.
For my quest demands that I find all four blessings of the lost great powers to save this world from rot.
But know this.
I shall return.
I shall return with a great host.
And together, we shall take Lord Golgotha and crush him between our iron fingers.
Though I love you all.
I regret.
I cannot embrace you all.
Soldiers.
Give yourself not for brutes.
Give yourself not for killers.
Become the vanguard.
Of the revolution.
And then I'll pull a lever and a bunch of my pamphlets will flood out through the city telling them how they should organize their government.
I'm glad I pecked those before you guys came on.
Yeah.
You appreciate that dude.
That was good on you, honestly.
Do any of them know how to read?
I sure hope so.
I know you can't hear it, but I was playing cheering sounds for you to shut up.
Yay!
We're all cheering.
Oh yeah!
Who's gonna protect us?
Ah!
These guys just...
Okay.
These guys just got a fucking citadel.
We only killed a couple people.
They can protect themselves.
He has taught them how to fight and coordinate and work together.
And with that teaching, they'll be able to bring more people to their cause.
Instead of just hoping it'll just work out, I guess.
They have a template to lead, to follow.
They have a template to work on, and with the teachings of you today, they will be more applicable and more ready for the next fight.
have a template to work on right and with the teachings today there will be more out there'll
be more applicable and more ready for the next fight and to bring more people through their
cause and they have a base of they have a base in which to work from now and huge war eggs yeah
and big trucks yeah but big nuts uh i believe you mean big rigs
i'll put my hand on snot's shoulder though we are now to travel
you are still a daughter of these lands closer to you mate though we are yet to leave this realm
you are still a daughter of these ruthless sands yeah thank you i had some dirt in my ear i didn't
hear you at first that's good okay i got that cleared out great yeah thank you
can you aid these poor
dangerous men
brandish them as a blade at the throat of tyranny can you take my teachings snot a goblin
and lead this citadel to liberty
i i think that not a lot of people would rise to follow a goblin
she looks around to the rest of them i think people will rise to follow snot a goblin
john cena you've proven yourself more than capable enough
we couldn't have done a lot of this without you
oh you're you're for real captain for real for real
well
if that's the case
can i
she swallows a little bit uh and she
waddles up to
oren the guy who like did indeed um
affix all of the
of this ship
and she pulls out a small little box that is attached to her big silly
mask
and she takes it off
and you can see her big bulbous eyes underneath
and they like wet sound when she blinks
exactly
and she she looks up at oren and goes
oren
you should put this in the engine shaft
my back can't function without it but
maybe your ship will be a little better
if you use this
i mean i can't take away your mech from you
that's like a part of you
oren
goblins change names all the time
if snot a goblin can't be followed
snot the leader will
i will figure things out
okay
he takes the box i'll figure out where that goes
i'll trust you oren
oren you're a smart guy
she pats him on his knee
and she
my hollow bones break
she crushes his bones with a rock and eats his leg
goblin tradition
she will
grab onto one of the ropes on the railing
lean over it
leaving the big chassis to of the mech
for oren to implement into the engine
and she looks at all of them blinking on
out of sync towards them
when you're done
can you guys come pick me up
yeah
yeah i think we can do that
thanks
right
i like nudge uh nudge the group with an elbow
yeah i'll give you a ride
thanks
i'll give you a ride to the airport anytime
yeah until then i will be called big boss snot
and then she
big boss
big booger
she starts to slide down this rope onto the masses
and she goes hey i'm in charge now
and she kills one random nearby citizen
yeah this would look great
remaining citizens begin cheering
yeah
let me get the sound effect
she holds up her arms in the in the air and screams
i never did check i never checked to see if she could read
is that is this the desired outcome tanhaja like was that supposed to happen
yeah this will be fine out of here
you guys really need someone to make better decisions around here
no that's why you're here baldrick
yeah that's why we have you
oren's well in his backpack taps on his uh bucket
how like like
took off in his arc
oh my god i can't even speak
well in any event baldrick immediately begins trying to push the
the mech towards the engine core
or do not touch this do not touch this i don't want you trying to hook this thing up please
bro okay
yeah you help me push this thing
sure why not or i'm still in your bag
right much much much much why are you you are not making this easier
much much much
or who is just starts pushing this giant hunk of metal
uh on the deck is tanhauser uh as as the ship begins to make its its slow ascent away from
the ruined golgoth and citadel and the cheering fans below
tanhauser what do you think as you look over this scene
canhauser thinks about how much work is ahead of him
he really hopes that the next time he comes to the citadel it's not in flame
but more than that looking and seeing how in so short of time he was able to accomplish something
that he had dreamed about that he had felt powerless to perform
he looks at his hands and realizes
that he actually can do this thing
that beyond his mad dog commitment to an insane cause that would only get him
he might just be able to foment the revolution
and then he looks down at the ship
and realizes his old master is here
then hopefully soon
she can be divorced from this ship
aid him
with that
the camera pans back down to the cheering masses
in amongst them snot a goblin
who stands on the top one of the runes staring up towards the departing airship
he's waving
and as snot waves snot does not see
the figure
approaching behind him
thanks salty for this amazing art last minute
as a
horrific
visage of evil clownness
reaches out from the shadows
towards snot a goblin
oh
oh no
and that is where we're going to come today
everybody
oh finally
i can make my football
i can make my football at last
come here you
thank you everybody
for watching this episode of rock rind
please follow everybody in their socials down below
um
instantly dead odo where can they find you if they want to come find you
all right you can find me on blue sky at odo bites
you can find me on tumblr at the same name you can find me on the discord
you can find me uh
uh out of here goodbye
and hulky where can they find you if they want to find you
they can find me on twitch blue sky x and discord
at hulky crow same spelling same name
then speaker
hi you can find me on blue sky
at speaker d and you can also find me by tracing the path to the north star
and gazing beyond what can be seen
the one who can potentially no longer be gazing salty where can they find you and just you alone
uh they can find me at salty job on any platform i draw big women uh you should check that out
and of course aaron dill where can they find you
you can find me on the twitter blue sky tumblr and basically nowhere else except discord
and thurston where can they find you
they can find me at all the things that i'm called gm and currently on the pathfinder quest backer kid
it's going so well thanks for all your support i love your faces yeah of course you can come talk
to me over on twitch.tv forward slash zone the wizard or whenever i'm live streaming on zorn lives
youtube channel and of course i'm making a pathfinder video that can help you figure out what books
to get soon on the zorn on the wizard channel so i hope you guys enjoy that but of course with that
thank you all so much for watching this episode of rock grind love you all see you guys next time
goodbye