Legion Podcasts - All Shows | Cinema_PSYOPS

Coy "Cannonball" Buckman (David Carradine) and his blazing red Pontiac enter the Trans-America Grand Prix, an underground road race spanning the continent in which there are no rules, no speed limits and no heed for the law. En route, Buckman jockeys with an international ensemble of racers for a $100,000 purse. But there are none more important than Cade Redman (Bill McKinney), his direct competition for a guaranteed spot on the elite Modern Motors racing team.

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Creators and Guests

Host

Cort PSYOPS

Podcaster, Horror SuperFreak, Obsessive Movie collector, amateur bass slapper, guitarist, full-stack developer, and low key mad scientist.

What is Legion Podcasts - All Shows?

With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.

[Music]

I deserve you!

Show people short, but still feels long.

Just two middle eggs, bro.

[Silence]

Stipper style sucks, this show still fucking sucks. Just too many late for us trying to do a show Virtue singling, how they're so walk Zip and Style sucks, this podcast sucks, Simple Style sucks.

This show still fucking sucks!

[Silence]

And welcome to the five hundred forty third episode of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Cort, the guy that's gonna be doing the notes this week for the movie Cannonball from nineteen seventy six, and my co host.

My co-host Duke.

host who claims to have seen this film before watching it for this show is Matt

I don't think I saw this.

Yeah.

Do you remember saying, Oh, but I remember Cannonball, it's a great movie. You do remember

Yeah, yeah, no, I remember saying that. I I I think I was singing Cannibal Run. Yeah.

Yeah, you were probably thinking cannonball run, which I told you is what you were probably thinking.

Yes, yes, yes. But you know what? Fuck off.

What if I was wrong?

Wrong. We're gonna cover Cannonball Run. It's still a car chase movie as far as I'm concerned. And the plot line for Cannonball and Cannonball Run are not very dissimilar. As a matter of fact, a lot of the car chase movies we're gonna be covering are gonna be cross-country.

[Silence]

Yeah.

So that's that. It's just we're gonna be having cross country races and it's going to be a thing.

It's a thing.

It's definitely a thing. Yeah, it's definitely a thing.

It's a thing.

We've kind of talked around about it a little bit, so we can get in just a little bit more before we actually do cover it. This is one hundred percent a cross country race where the winner gets like a hundred thousand dollars in nineteen seventy six money.

So yeah. I mean that's pretty impressive, I suppose.

Uh in nineteen seventy six money. I mean, that was more than enough to buy like two or three houses, I think, back then.

Yeah.

Yeah, um that that would have been a lot, yeah.

Yeah, so it's not a a small sum of money, but what I was getting at is this is a Paul Bartel film. It was made in the Roger Corman camp. There is a shit ton of Roger Corman.

Actors and directors that appear in spots in this because that's what Paul Bartell loves to do in his films.

Yeah.

And this may be my favorite Paul Bartell film.

Ever. Uh and he directed a lot of really cool ones, especially some really like sleaze ball race movies like this one, right? Like he's done a lot of really

Real sleazy shit.

But he's also he's also directed some really like like really hair

type of movies like Eating Rebel as well. Uh Paul Bartel is incredible. I'm just a huge fan. So I'm really happy that we're getting a chance to actually discuss this movie. And I just needed to say that up front. If people are expecting me not to fangirl out on this film,

You're fucked.'Cause it's gonna be.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok Listen, this is this is a film you want to, you know, fangirl over and and just blow.

I don't know if I'm gonna go quite that far, but I'm going to definitely really enjoy it. You're gonna say I'm blowing it no matter what, because that's just

Yeah, no, you're definitely gonna blow this film. I I can already tell.

Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Well let's go ahead and take a look.

Unbelievable whore.

Let's go ahead and take the break here. We're gonna play the Legion Patreon ad because like I said, Bose podcasted again, so he's back, so we can still use it. It's valid.

It's valid.

Awesome. Then we'll have some music that will quite literally be created right before I edit this episode.

Of course, because this is the way.

Yeah.

And it will hopefully tell the plot line of the story.

story or at least have something to do with the actual movie in the way that it's created and hopefully will sound good and rhyme, but if not, I'm working with what I'm working with here. And when we come back, however that turns out, we will go ahead and do the review for Cannonball from nineteen.

[Silence]

Oh, hi there. I didn't see ya.

You call me cutting a new show.

I'm Bo Ransdell and I'm one of the mini creators you can find on Legion Podcasts.

My fellow podcasters and I work hard to bring you the best in horror podcasting.

But that comes at a cost.

Cost.

What's that?

[Silence]

Not that, but also yes.

Is that there are server costs?

Cause

Costs for good microphones and software for editing, all the things that make our shows, you know, fun to listen to.

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We appreciate it and thank you for listening.

No?

Back to the cutting room.

[Music]

and by a friend.

Then there's worried buddy's ready to fly. With this buddies if oh no rules apply.

Trans M shining, red as blood. Rose are calling racins in his blood. Feel the engines roar, let the rubber burn.

Transcontinental, it's his turn.

[Music]

Tryna take him down, cops in pursuit, he's got to wear the crown. Some temples disguise planning to deceive. They'll be racing hard, no time to breathe.

Chaos in the pits, smoke fills the air Maze that's putting them in despair

Feel the engines roar, let the rubber burn. Transcontinental, it's his turn.

[Music]

Destiny's to line, living is path, got nowhere to hide. Hard racing fast.

Food in the air!

Alright, so that's the end of that music that was Quite literally created right before this episode was edited.

Yeah.

Yeah, hopefully it fits with the theme of the movie and with the kind of general sound and everything like that. Hopefully I'll get my shit together and I'll figure out something for it.

Yeah.

But let's actually figure out what we're gonna do for the actual review. What do you say?

What do you say?

Let's talk about the world.

All right, so a cannonball from nineteen seventy-six. The film opens with a car speeding into frame and well there's dialogue, so you know how court goes. That's our first clip.

is podcasting.

You're one hell of a driver, Mr. Buckman. Just the man we need on our team. You'd like to drive for modern motors, wouldn't you?

There's stiff competition against you. This race is very important to you, Coy. You understand what I mean? Yes.

Yes, I understand.

If I win. If. I see you've brought a companion with you.

Aren't you afraid she might die?

Die

That's what happens to girls that drive with you, isn't it?

[Silence]

Alright, so David Carradine wakes from the nightmare that was the end of that clip and decides to make a fast walk of shame out of the place he is in, or at least this appears to be what's happening. It's a walk of shame. Until he walks out to the garage and I find out this is actually his house, and then he finds his car.

Can you do a walk of shame out of your own house?

Well no.

Well, no, you can't. Not unless you're like getting kicked out of your house, right?'Cause the walk of shame indicates that the sex is over with, you're no longer valuable and you need to go. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean I've made that walk plenty of times. Uh because I'm not valuable, not even in the sex part. Um Ah man, I totally missed out on making a sex joke against myself during gone in sixty seconds. I was gonna

I should have said something like, Oh, the name of my sex tape. Anyway, go ahead.

Jesus Christ. So he's actually not doing that walk of shame. He's walking out to his own garage. He finds his car being worked on by his mechanic. There is once again dialogue, and so that is our second.

Yeah.

What the hell are you doing, Zippo? It's four goddamn thirty in the morning. You're gonna wake Linda. You want a good car or a great car? Four thirty in the morning, I want a good night's sleep. When I'm finished with this machine, all you gotta do is set the dial for win and you wake up at the finish line.

Yeah.

I wouldn't let Cannonball Buckman race in anything but the best.

Thank you.

Hey, step on it, will you? And don't drop it. We want to blow up the crowd, not us.

[Silence]

Relax.

How fast is it gonna go before that though?

Well one hundred sixty. Maybe one hundred sixty five.

Yeah.

Open this baby up till he gets way out of town. But when he does

Whoever you are, it's five in the morning, couldn't it wait?

Yeah.

Yes, I'm Utel Morris. I came by to pick up your car.

You see, I want to get a head start so that I can get your car into New York for you by next week.

All right now. Hear the keys and hear the paper. Now there's no driving at night and no driving over fifty five miles an hour. Oh, no, ma'am.

Uh huh. So we'll see you one week from today in New York City at the Mayflower Hotel. Yes, ma'am.

I don't know if it was a... OH NO!

Where's she at?

Only twenty minutes late.

Like, come on.

God, are we glad to see you?

Shake your asses.

Come on, time to stage uniforms.

Come on, get ready, get ready.

Sandy honey after hauling ass in that hell's kitchen for six months just so you could hustle up this truck for two itty bitty days. We're ready.

You gotta get your suit all messed up, you set on the curb like that.

Well it don't make no difference.

I ain't doing no

No TV.

T V spot.

And I

When this is all over, boy, you gonna be turning down offers right and left. You gonna be a star. Uh-huh.

Uh huh.

I busted my hop setting up this ride with Cade Redmond, and at least you can do his act a little grateful.

Rightful.

Of the mother of the pearl.

Mean we going all the way to New York now?

Last Cadillac?

I'm Mr. Redmond.

Well put her in here, boy. We got fish to fry.

Car feels like a winner, Mr. Redmond.

Thank you, ma'am. My profession.

Hi, Dennis Caldwell here at the Santa Monica Pier in sunny Southern California.

For the last three years the appearance of this crypto

This cryptic ass!

Ad in Motorist magazine has signaled the running of the Trans-America Grand Prix Autora Race.

This underground sporting event is open to anyone holding a valid license driving any kind of four-wheeled land-based vehicle.

Contestants choose any cross country route they're not going to be able to do.

Yeah.

And there's a hundred thousand dollars waiting for these sweat-drenched high test hot pots.

Mm.

Who gets his ticket stamped first at a certain garage on New York City's Lower West Side.

Most of the drivers.

All right.

Hey a beer, what's the TV crew doing here?

I thought this race was supposed to be a

Supposed to be a secret.

They're cool.

He won't be shown until next week.

Next week.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

Wolf Messer, champion of countless European auto races, let him get his hat on you. What brings you all the way to LA for a race that might land you in jail and doesn't even officially exist?

Well, it is the uh spirit of the race that attracts me. And also the fact that uh anyone can participate and anything goes. That makes for a very exciting race. I also find irresistible.

$100,000.

Now here's an interesting entry.

Great.

You kids look more like uh

Like uh

Uh surfers than you do racing drivers.

Well it serves me pretty bad this morning.

Well tell me have you raised this uh this uh

This uh Corvette.

A Corvette in any other races? Uh no.

Well see, it isn't exactly our car. Daddy

If you've been watching this, um, everything is okay. We'll be bringing the car back in about a week.

Tell me something. Uh uh I I well anyway I

Well anyway, I sure wish you.

I sure wish you luck and I bet that one hundred thousand dollars gonna buy you a lot of surfboys.

If we win we're gonna go.

And why?

Aren't they darling?

Darling.

Thank you so much.

This is from the kids in me, dear.

I want you to drink a toast to your loving family after you cross the finish line. Bye, Danny. Don't forget to bring me a present.

Area.

Everything I'm doing.

And the children.

We're trying to get a word here with Brad Phillips, organizer of the race.

Brad, tell me, your race has been called an outlaw sporting event. Do you have any comment on that?

Well the police

[Silence]

Drivers tend to exceed the speed limits.

Are you?

Are you saying you're promoting illegality?

Well no, I didn't say that.

That's the right thing.

Sir, have you seen this?

They're doing it again.

Well they're in for a surprise.

Racing anywhere they're gonna race to the impound.

impound lot.

a lot.

Yes, sir. Get me Brad Phillips on the phone and tell him it's the district attorney. Tell him we're entering his race. Then get me the highway patrol.

Thank you.

Finn, take the detour.

Sandy.

[Silence]

I'm going over it.

Over it.

[Silence]

Well, I'll be dead.

It did.

I knew you couldn't pass up this damn race.

Consider yourself busted.

Don't give me that crap, Linda.

Do you know what happens to parolees who cross state lines without permission?

I don't give a damn about that red tape.

My brother put up six thousand dollars for this car. I got a chance to win with it. A whole future's at stake.

One speeding ticket, and you're back in prison.

That's our future.

Coy, you know how I feel about you. I've never pulled rank on you before, but I am legally responsible.

That's a technical.

This race is my last chance to get my career back.

career back together.

again.

Oh, face facts, Coy. Your racing career ended when that girl died.

Excuse me, Guy. Just wanted to wish you good luck.

Mr. Hooper, this is my friend Linda Maxwell.

This is Kim Hooper. He's the manager of the Modern Motors Racing Team.

Pleased to meet you, Miss Maxwell. We could sure use a man like Coy on the Modern Motors team. Yeah, what about

Yeah, what about my competitor?

I wish you luck too.

I expect one of you.

One of you.

You'll be driving for me next year. You two gentlemen know each other, don't you?

Mr. Redmond?

I believe we've run into each other once or twice. Got amnesia about that cheap shit you pull in Darlington in'72? Well, here's a little piece of information for you.

Yeah.

Amigo, buenas.

Thank you so much for coming.

What's coming down a hundred?

[Silence]

tracks right up your ass. There goes your competition.

Got so mean I better get the jack off in the morning get his heart stripped.

Yeah.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

Attention right now, Dra.

Right now, drivers.

The police are on the

Police are on their way to bust the race.

The post time has been moved up to exactly sixty-

Seconds from now.

now. Shit.

Every highway between

Highway patrolmen from here to Philadelphia.

Продолжение следует...

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

I advise you all to stick to the back roads as much as

Start your engine.

Yeah.

Jesus Christ, no freeways. How the hell do they expect us to make any time on the back door?

Well, we may not break any speech, but we'll make ten, don't worry.

Look, I'm serious, Coi. I am going to have to report you. Koi!

You're going with me.

Benny, where you been? I thought you're working a

We're gonna show up.

Show up. Hey, what are you kidding me?

You think I'm gonna miss my kid brother's first big race after he got out? Not on your life. Linda?

Yeah.

Benny, will you talk some sense to him?

I gotta go, Benny.

Give me a shot.

Thanks. Listen, if you think I'm doing this just to get in the heaven, you're room. I got a bundle better.

If I don't bet on you, you're not gonna...

You're not gonna win, ain't you?

If you get your head out.

Good luck. During the rollout sequence, David Carradine leaves his lady behind with a note that says he will call from New York, and we got a sequence of Dick Miller playing a heavy spiking cars to fail during the.

Mm-hmm.

With that notification, they have to haul ass or have their asses hauled in. The drivers transform and roll out in a funky 70s disco rock soundtrack.

The van with Mary Warnoff and her ladies arrive in our third clip.

Ooh, lady.

No.

I knew we'd be late. Now we're gonna have to go to the house.

I have to go twice this way.

Twice it's first to catch.

[Silence]

Don't worry.

Those girls in the van really have a chance.

Have a chance.

You got a better cheese?

Phillips, your race is over.

This is an injunction. Race? What race?

Race.

Mac. Yields.

Police lady.

How do you like many?

What do you like my new cars? Like looking in a mirror, ain't it?

Jesus, Simpo, you didn't enter the race like that.

I wanted to look at it.

I wanted to look my best, so I uh figure good friend should drive similar cars. What the hell kind of a friend are you, Zip?

Uh really.

Uh relax, coy.

This machine doesn't have any more guts under the hood than yours does.

They're exactly the same!

This must be your idea some kind of a joke, huh? Hey, I don't promise I won't outdrive you though.

Ball Buckman is gonna win this race with or without you.

Even my head.

Wait a minute, Coy. No fare going over 55. I think the police had their eye on you.

was my best friend but he's crazy.

Coy, you're really not going to make me drive all the way to New York with you.

No, I'm not. You're my security in case we run into the cops. Somehow.

Somehow I am going to have to explain this to the board when we get back.

Yeah, they'll love it when they hear about your method of rehabilitating.

No no nine nine nine nine. I'm very pleased to accept this award.

I'm lost, I'm lost

A board!

Oh, that's it. Yeah, very good. I'm very pleased to accept this.

That's blocked.

Jesus Christ.

Christ, I can't see that word, I have to think of something else.

[Silence]

What is wrong?

[Silence]

Fennett, come on in, sit down. You like cold porner? Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Sure.

Mm-hmm.

[Music]

Oh I'll cry.

When you growl!

Missing you so.

[Silence]

Oh that yeah, it's nice. You know something bidding it's never too late.

I always wanted to.

I always wanted to know how to play the piano. Well, now I got two of them. I always wanted to know how to write songs. Well, now I can. Yeah. I always want to be rich. Yeah? Well maybe you will be. Your brother Winnie? Sure.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok Another ten thousand hours.

Ten thousand dollars. I can't do it, Benny. You're not good for it, you.

Yeah.

I got shot. I didn't care.

Yeah. When is the blessed event to take place?

When he hits one hundred and sixty five, out in the desert someplace.

감사합니다.

I even brought those two cheating guys.

T V guys in a helicopter to keep tabs on the other drivers in a race, you know, just in case somebody gets moving a little too fast.

Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok

So uh what do you sell us? Do you cover me for fifty thousand?

How I hate to say no.

[Silence]

That isn't cold portal, isn't it?

Okay, like we were talking about, there was already a shit ton of fucking uh cameos in just that clip alone. So

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was cameoed uh out of your fucking mind right there.

But

But even though we call them cameos now, these are like actors and uh some directors and things that are showing up that uh you don't normally see in film.

Films and then became famous later. We'll get into that a little bit more with some other people, but this is mostly just a pirate film guru.

Getting people on screen and on camera, spitting out the dialogue they need to move the story along between all of the car pile ups and crashes and tr driving stunts and shit. That's

Vielen Dank.

That's literally what we've got going on here and I'm I'm here for it all day.

Yeah. For

The end of the clip starts some car porn as the German racer is taking on kerodine while driving on open roads with aerial shots mixed in that is actually fun to watch, even if you aren't a car person, which I'm not really a car person. I was raised around car people. I enjoy car movies.

Because I can enjoy the type of craziness that car people do safely from watching it on TV instead of sitting in the car with them. Yeah.

with them. Yeah. I'm just an American muscle car person. I'm not like I'm not like, you know, oh I know every car or like oh

exotic cars or anything like that. I I know nothing of like that.

Luckily there is dialogue about this for those of us that are not uh car people, so why not make that R for

Cooking.

But the door ain't funny.

This is right.

I'm a kid, but what's it doing? It's a rolling crash, race cards.

Amen.

ご視聴ありがとうございました

Why in your house?

The end of my aim that you can catch me.

[Silence]

I'm something but Narcast.

I thought this car could beat anything on the road.

It's part of the winner.

Look at this thing coming here.

Damn. There's nobody's got a chance against that problem.

But there's not a one

Okay.

[Silence]

Mike, Benny.

Benny.

I wanna make a little bet on the transmerce.

Trans American brand.

Okay, now boarding is

I ain't sure it's unofficial, but everybody knows about it.

Yeah.

One

Yeah.

Look, it's my brother.

My brother, for Christ's sake.

Okay, can you handle twenty thousand dollars?

Caroline.

Flight number sixteen direct jet service to Albert.

Mike, that's my plan.

Yeah morning.

Uh uh call you from Albuquerque.

Yeah, I'm following the race.

Right.

Okay, thanks.

With Mrs. Ethel.

Please come to

Hey!

Hey, where you back?

Come over here and ride with the man who's gonna win this race battle.

Well, I've got to put a little dent in our friends.

Friends head.

Total mi rado. Hey.

Hey! Hey, man!

Hey man, you're blasting my head off.

Head off with that shit.

with that shit.

Arrest.

I gotta limber up before I go on the air, don't I? You want me to make it easy for you?

Look, Mr. Redmond.

Ideal was to pay your way while Perman plays his way.

Bye.

Our deal wasn't for me to drive us in a winner.

I think we could all use a little pit stop, Mr. Redmond.

We ain't stopping for nothing. If you wanna freshen up, use that pistol tube back there.

Are you kidding?

Kidding!

You better cross your legs real.

Legs real tight.

'Cause I ain't stopping.

[Silence]

Don't press your luck, asshole.

Gonna give me a little red meat.

Well, Mr. Redman, would you ease up a bit?

[Silence]

I don't know.

Okay, the boker.

You're catching on mama son, you're catching on.

Breaker, breaker. This Hannibal called Zippo.

I got a 10 33 right behind you on Route 17.

Can you read me, Zippo?

Cannibal, this is Zippo. We read your 1033 and I'm on my way to your 20.

Right.

I'm not afraid. There's no reason for me to change cards.

It'd be safe if it was simple.

Yeah, but I'm in it now. And I wanna see you through to the end with you.

Jesus, man. What the hell's happening? I saw Redman running belly to the ground. Your turn to play cavalry, man. Redman's trying to cream my ass, so we decided that Linda better keep company with you. Boy. Please. Hey, listen, I'm always willing to come to the uh Assistance of a damsel in distress.

Stress.

I tell you what, Corey, I'll uh trade you my magic hat for the late.

And what beauty again?

Mm-hmm.

So take care of this rookie.

Nice with your girl.

Hẹn gặp lại các bạn trong những video tiếp theo.

You wanna divine this room?

Alright.

Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.

What y'all got over there?

Oh yeah!

Are you ready?

[Music]

में में में में में में में

Louisa, have I ever forgotten to bring you something?

something.

Oh, champagne!

Who

Can we open it now and drink it after?

after we win the

we win the race.

[Silence]

I haven't eaten this shit in six months. But they'll probably you. No less.

No Lester, no

Well Alesta, you know we got a lot of money riding on this thing. Make sure so sure Benny's gonna deliver all.

I gotta go back one more time.

And I'm gonna tell you something.

I mean look very good fat.

You know what I mean?

No, I mean does

Does something for you. I'll tell you something else. That creep is running forth. Don't Benny know what's gonna happen to him if his brother don't come in first? Listen, I'm gonna talk to Benny in St. Louis this evening. If his brother's still behind, I'll lean on him a little bit. Don't worry, you got nothing to worry about. Canon Warbuckman

is gonna win this race one way or another.

Come on, Hawkeye, this is control.

This is hard.

This is hot guy.

Okay, we read your control. How's my point?

The German is way ahead of him.

So it's some kind of seventy-one Dodge.

Plus he's getting some serious competition from the other Red Transam.

Yeah.

Uh uh well wait a second. The other red trans there?

Yeah, some clown in a baseball camp.

If your boy just gonna move on.

Miss the prize, goodbye.

Bye. Oh sharp, it looks like you get to do your number after all.

Well yes, Jay, I would have to say that this great sporting event is the most thrilling and I believe truly inspired uh uh occasions of which I have ever been Car took.

[Silence]

Which has been suggested by this momentum race.

Okay, all you KMAX listeners, we got Perman Waters for you now with a special live performance of his Rapid Derizing new hit song.

My racing heart.

Take it away, Burma.

The start of that awful song is the end of the first third of the movie. So we are thirty-one-ish or so minutes into the film so far. It has not let up and we pretty much are introduced to the drivers on the run to get

to the fucking competition. Once they get there, the competition has to start early because the cops are on their ass immediately once they realize that it started and it's happening. Because they put an ad out in the paper instead of doing it like an underground thing.

Come on, I mean, the cops just don't.

Um or

I'm gonna say yes, because they do kind of get away with the race still.

Yeah, I mean yeah they're still getting a So, yeah.

But this is fun. All the way through everything about this so far has

has got me fucking hooked. And this is my kind of exploitation movie that like it has to do with cars. This is my kind of way of putting it. I really enjoy this. Pretty much the cops are the butt of the joke. Any authority is the butt of the joke. All of the maverick gas field craziness of

That's about to happen. All of that is just people that are wantonly competing for a hundred thousand dollars just to get it to get there faster, and they don't care who they hurt in the process. This is just fucking insane, the whole entire concept and dangerous.

I'm really glad that this type of shit didn't actually exist because if it did, a lot more people would get hurt.

I mean, I don't know, man. Y you hear the drag racing that happens in our towns, so

Yeah, but that's drag racing and street racing. I admit that that happens, but like cross country races that are taking place like this that would cause this many pileups and accidents to take place. I just don't think

think that people would be able to get away with them like repeatedly. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah.

Gotcha. It seems a lot less plausible. I know for a fact street races exist in even in Omaha. And I'm not going to confirm or deny that I've been part of any of them. I'm just saying I I know that they're real.

Are you talking to your lawyers now?

They're looking at me very suspiciously, so why don't we move on?

move on. Yeah, we should. All right.

All right, so the middle act of the film starts with that song being interrupted in our fifth.

Mr. DJ, don't stop the interview. Nothing's wrong. We're just getting a little static. What?

What's going on?

Okay, listen.

You're hearing it first on KMN.

[Music]

How I can win.

[Silence]

This is very beautiful country.

Just single.

[Silence]

Amen.

[Silence]

There's a hot dog and a yellow pig.

A yellow pan terror coming your way. You want to cut him off.

Get him all for me.

Okay.

Ok, eu tenho que...

I've got a copy on that.

At ten four.

Yeah.

Amen.

[Silence]

Oh Jesus.

I hope they do.

I hope they didn't connect him with the race.

with the race.

Now listen, you promised me that this wouldn't be broadcast until...

After the race was over now, didn't you?

Absolutely.

Absolutely, you have my word of honor.

[Music]

A man can

It's called.

Já é bom, já é bom.

I don't know what else

Frank.

I can do Mm-hmm.

John Honey, wake up.

I just noticed it.

Yeah.

God damn it's the fan belt. Let's get it to a gas station before the damn thing breaks, huh? Come on.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

Remember when you could just look at your own car and figure out what was wrong with it without having to have additional equipment?

Yeah, right. That was a prepperage farm remember.

The end of the clip with more awful music, which is a terrific bit, but still fucking irritating as hell.

Which makes me the butt of the joke. I get it. Yeah. Like I get that I'm the butt of the joke. The fact that it's pissing me off and irritating me is what makes it funny, but it's still really terrible music and is really irritating. So I've just decided to pass that on to everybody else. But then mercifully I cut.

[Silence]

Good job.

Yeah, I'd let it play whenever the lady was singing along because uh the guy who is doing the song and is playing the whatever that Perman or whatever the name that fucking character is, he actually can sing. He's just

choosing to sing badly and write bad songs because it's to to make it funny. Like the j the joke is they're pushing his career. He's getting famous, but they have to do this illegal race to make him famous because he's fucking terrible and they're trying to sell him as an outlaw. Yeah.

Yeah.

Because he is an outlaw.

Right. And I'm the butt of the joke because the music's terrible and it's irritating the fuck out of me. And the more angry I get, the funnier it actually is. But I hate when that's how the humor is being achieved.

I mean what'd you do, man?

Yeah.

I kinda like it when the humor is achieved by you getting annoyed.

Yeah, but I mean when I'm the butt of the joke, it irritates me is what I am saying.

Yeah. Well yeah, I mean I think that's everyone. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And the awful music that's supposed to irritate me is doing its job and which therefore makes me the butt of the joke. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, we are mercifully saved.

You're doing great.

Yeah, we're all fine here, but not really

Everything's fine.

Yeah. The world's ending, but it's gonna be fine. Yeah.

Yeah.

Because we'll die one way or the other.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're gonna

It's it's definitely gonna go poorly.

We are mercifully saved from this awful music when David Carradine rides on up and a smash up paint trading chase ensues.

A lot of bumps happen before the bad guy pulls out a gun and shoots out David Carradine's tire.

While he passes, we have already seen the bad guy throw away the car's included jack stand at the beginning of the race because the trunk was open for some stupid fucking reason. So there is a big hubaloo about the gun being lost that I decided to record as on.

Sixth class.

شكرا للمشاهدة

Son of a bitch. Where the hell?

Red.

What can I do for you?

I need a family.

I'm a fan about this.

This is just about had it.

Oh I'm sorry mister.

I don't care anything like that.

Yeah.

You have to go to an auto supplier.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

You got a piece of tape or something I could use to hold it together'til I get there?

Yeah I can give you Don't know how long it'll hold though.

Where's the nearest place where we can get a fan belt?

About two hundred miles.

Bye.

Can't miss some shot.

Whoever it is, he's driving a transam and he's alone.

Yeah. Maybe considering dead.

Hey.

Are we in Denver yet?

Denver yet?

Uh yeah, that's Denver over there. That's uh Kansas City. Let's call

Let's call that

at St. Louis Yeah.

Way of a deer?

He always said it wasn't fair that he had to report to my office.

So one evening I recorded to his place

Yeah, I know.

No, it was supposed to be a joke really. Except nobody laughed.

And here we are.

Yeah.

You've been Choi's friend for a long time, haven't you?

Sure, yeah.

We grew up together, went to the same school.

Yeah.

Learn to drive at the same time.

[Silence]

As with Choi on a double date.

You know, people used to say I look like Koi. Really?

Really?

I used to comb my hair different then. No.

that made all the difference.

Zipper, were you in the car that night the girl was killed?

Sure, I was there.

I was drunk out of my mind. I mean gone. I could hardly keep my hands on the steering wheel.

You were driving?

Yeah.

Then why did Croy say that?

I don't know, you'll have to ask him I don't know.

I guess I owe everyone her.

Yeah, me too.

Just trying to keep up with a flow of practice.

Lower pressure.

Turn around. Put your hands on the roof, please.

The roof, please.

Bread your arms in the roof, please.

Fred him but uh wider. How boy, you wanna step your legs back a little bit?

That's good. Just relax.

Okay, right there just root.

Just routine, just a routine perceived.

All right, so

Zippo is really, really fucking creepy with how obsessed he is with Koy and he's like, I wanna be just like him. It's like he's single white female in David Carradine's character and it's really creepy.

It is. It's really creepy, but uh it's all right.

All right.

I also want to state when David Carradine figured out how to change his tire during the clip. I love how he just kind of backs it up onto the guardrail to the tire starts spinning and then then he knows that he can change it. That was kind of fucking cool.

Yeah, that was really fucking cool.

I know that would have damaged the shit out of his undercarriage quite a bit, but I mean it still was a cooler thing that they did.

When there's the Oh no, not the undercarriage.

Anyway, the end of the clip where David Carradine beats the ever-loving shit out of a pig is something I watched more times than my lawyers would like me to admit.

Ooh.

And before Matt adds Asks that was enough replays for them to be concerned and enough lawyers for me to listen to everything that they suggested.

Uh oh. Yeah, I mean that's uh that's a lot, man. What did you do?

[Silence]

You really gotta stop doing all that, man. What are you doing?

Yeah.

I was like, It's in the privacy of my own home. They're like, That's fine, but don't talk about it, Cort. And I'm

Yeah, I mean you do like talking about uh uh doing the weird shit in your home.

Same year home.

Yeah.

Right.

I uh I would uh

I would uh I would stop.

Yeah, yeah. But the lawyers tell me that as long as I phrase it the way that I just did, I'm okay'cause I'm getting the thumbs up now.

Oh okay. Hey, there we go.

Well once he is done kicking the cop's ass, he searches him and delivers more dialogue, which is our seventh clip.

You know, cotton.

Friend of Kate Red.

Decade Redmonds, huh?

[Silence]

How are we doing guys?

If this is like

This is Lake Erie.

We're getting close.

Thank you.

What happened to you?

Did he have short blind hair about my color? Stand about and fix one?

Yeah.

That's my brother C-

Brother Coy, no wonder you got your chops busted.

I'm the moron.

He was alone, goddammit.

Damn it.

Driving a red trans him.

Sure hope you didn't slow down too much.

Mm-hmm.

And slow him down.

Slow him down a law.

law.

This is Hawkeye, calling command.

Uh yeah, this is command. I read your Hawkeye.

I've got that line.

Got that lineup you asked for.

Okay, let me have it.

About forty miles up the road is the other red transacts.

Very good time.

Kate.

Kate Redmond's in second place holding his own and

And then comes your brother.

His transition

trends and moving up

Fast and okay. Brothers in third place.

Place.

Sorry about that.

Then comes the all-girl team.

about uh thirty miles back and then

And then hot on their tails is the black guy in the link.

We better catch the next flight to St. Louis.

We can intercept him there and do something about changing this lineup.

I think we ought to cut this crazy sucker loose. I mean I can't believe you let him stop for more beer. I mean he's already driving like a scalded doll.

Never mind. I got a better chance of handling him if he's pie eyed. The front seat don't know it, but the back seat is still pulling the string. Well, I

I hope so.

Oh God, there's trouble.

[Silence]

That's down vitamins or if better than spinach. Better than fur burgers. Better than possum.

Better take some, you might need the energy.

Oh thanks.

Thanks. I just got a little light work.

With that.

With that, the bad guy tosses his beer at Carradine's head and launches himself over the shelves in the middle of the store, wrecking everything, which then leads to them throwing each other through quite literally.

literally everything in the goddamn store wrecking every shelf and every bit of goods out there to be sold. They demolish this fucking shop and it is entertaining and fucking reckless and fucking cool.

Cool.

Shit.

Like just tear everything apart. I love it when shit gets destroyed.

The bad guy gets the upper hand and darts off, leaving David Carradine behind to pay for all of the damage under threat of shotgun blast, which was really fucking cool.

Cool.

Rough go, David Carradine. Rough go. Maybe you should go walk the earth instead of drive it.

The bad guy has plenty of time to run over and kick out Carradine's headlights and then he takes off. What a fucking sequence, man. This was a great fucking old school knockdown, drag out, slobber knocker of a fight.

It was good stuff.

We then cut to the ladies being pulled over in our eighth clip.

Well, this is how you podcast, that's for sure.

This is in fact how I podcast.

Yeah.

[Silence]

be trying to outrun on

Listen, ladies, time is

Time is critical.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

We can just get rid of these creatures.

Things creeps.

You kinda said, Patrol.

And y'all just know boys will be

Will be born.

Good morning, ladies.

May I see your license, please? Oh Out of state.

I'm sorry, but you ladies will have to come back to town with us and post bail.

Oh gosh, well,

Well that takes very long time.

Oh, you're telling me.

Uh officer.

I don't think right here.

No, I'm afraid that just wouldn't be possible.

Oh we wouldn't mind.

Anything we might have done.

Yeah.

Take you back in town.

Uh Lance

Uh Lynn.

Since he's late.

[Silence]

backtown in advance.

No, I'll go with the girls. You you drive.

No, Lynn, just do as I say it'll work out.

It'll work out better.

Enjoy!

You have. I'll ask, Junior G-Man. No, we just got them.

Goddamn minute you

Do you recall the

Recall the

[Silence]

Uh the end of the clip has a cut to Carradine getting sleepy, figuring out his headlights were kicked out.

Yeah.

driving even more sleepy and then flipping his car and fucking it right the hell up before crawling out of the wreck and trying to assess if he can still drive it after the massive rollover. He starts walking away from the wreck, not grabbing his extra clothes in that bag from the trunk or anything, but

Mm-hmm.

Before it cuts back to our hero Dick Miller, not the character, just Dick Miller himself should be a fucking hero for everybody. He's the greatest fucking character actor of all time, Mr. Futterman.

I don't know why Dick Miller always makes me laugh though.

Yeah.

That's why he chose the name,'cause it's one that you won't fucking forget.

Nope.

And our ninth clip.

Club.

Hello, Benny.

You're late, Benny. I don't like cardiness. It seems to run in your family. Your brother's not winning.

I'm taking care of it.

This is not the

I don't want to hear it, Benny.

Oh Sorry.

I'm

I am sincere.

Sincere myself.

I'm sorry.

It ended the

This way.

Everything looked so fine at the start.

Storm.

I never dreamed.

I never dreamed about it.

But you

You'd break my heart.

I'm sorry that I'm hurting you so But sometimes

One time

That's the way

Yeah. You let me down?

You may be so blue.

But now I know

Know that you Yeah.

Well, that's terrific last though. Benny, what can I say? You see how upset we get when your brother runs behind.

Think what might happen. Can Aren't you the guy who took a bite out of AJ's ass in the$72?

Darlington?

Yeah.

Geez, that suspension looks like it fell off the Empire State Building.

Hey, you know all that stuff we've been listening to on the radio about outlaw race and cops and

Cops and trucks and you're not going to be able to

Trucks and shit.

Him, Dork face. He's running in it.

You have the outlaw eraser!

A real pleasure, Mr Cannonball. A real pleasure.

Yeah.

Uh cars.

The car is all wrapped up.

All wrapped up. When are you going to go?

What are you going to do?

Not much you can do.

[Silence]

Yeah. What do you got? A hot tractor? Uh

Why don't you come around the back and find out?

Why not?

Okay.

It ain't a Maserati, but it ain't bad.

You're kidding.

Pipes.

Trick stuff.

That is a racing machine.

This is a cruise cruise.

Who's cruiser?

Thank you.

Who's cruiser?

Hmm.

Six months I worked on this.

Hey.

Run down.

Four twenty seven block.

Dinah Jet Hollypot. Vertex Mag.

Yeah.

We probably lose a hundred in a second.

Second.

Maybe it ain't as good as what you had.

Should be telling it what

No out of what you got.

Send it for you.

Look, Mr. Buckman. This burg is so

is so square.

Square. People think the Avon lady's a movie star.

Buckman wins a transition.

wins a trans American Grand Prix in our car, we're gonna be two heavy duty.

Have you dudes?

But you gotta say our names on T V.

At the end of the clip it cuts to the ladies towing the cop car and fucking the pigs on the way to New York. This is just fucking gross. No one should ever fuck a cop ever. No.

No, why would you do that? To a police officer.

Never get laid.

Nope.

The racer who has been sexually harassing the ladies in the car he is paid to drive to New York, pulls up to see the ladies getting it on with the pigs. And again, this is just fucking gross.

Man, how many cops are getting laid in this fucking movie?

The harassing driver tosses all of his gas can reserves into the cop car being towed after opening them and then lights it by tossing his car's cigarette lighter in there.

Gloria.

Glorious fucking explosion that made my heart sing. It's okay for me to say that. Okay.

Okay, we're good. Yes. Yes. Yeah, you're fine.

The explosion breaks the tow bar and the cop car sits on the highway completely consumed by flames as the two pigs stumble out of the van towards it barely.

Barely point.

Yeah. As the ladies toss the rest of their shit out onto the road and speed off.

Speed off.

Survived?

It then cuts to Carradine in the new car he got from Alan Arkush and Joe Dante himself in a cameo role as the two gearheads. It cuts from that to an awful musician bit in the bad guy's car and are.

Tenth clip.

Fire racing fuel is

[Silence]

And my engine

Hey, Jockey Bret. I'm trying to find out about the goddamn red transam. I can't hear nothing of you better like a dying calf in a windstorm. Now boy, you shut up trying to tear your tongue out and paint you like a barber pole. Well now, folks, hell no bit about all that.

What on jerk?

Just turn your crystal set up and we'll try.

Try it again.

I'm way

[Silence]

That's for throwing my damn gun out the window.

I'm gonna have to hurt you now.

Now then I'm gonna help him too. Shit.

[Silence]

Boy, what a lot of shit this is. Don't we have something else?

What about that car race?

Thanks.

Promised those guys we wouldn't.

We wouldn't broadcast.

broadcast that story until the race was finished. I bought'em. I can sell'em. The public has a right to know.

Okay.

Feel her up.

Yeah.

hell are we gonna do now? You got another broadcast in fifteen minutes, WK Vine Chicago.

I don't know. We're gonna have a little piece of crack.

That's what we're gonna do.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Where the hell you going, boy? What?

Girl, that car over there's gotta get tort.

Get tort. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Now you folks probably wouldn't recognize

Recognized me after the right.

I'm Herman Waters.

Helen

Hammond What we were just listening to you on the You know, I really like that stuff.

I like that sign of you.

Thank you.

Спасибо.

Now you see that's uh with my own guitar about half an hour ago.

This sort of fell out the window.

[Silence]

You were at the starting line.

Starting line back in LA, weren't you?

You're in the race too?

Yes we are.

We are we are short.

purely in the races.

Mr. Waters, I'd be delighted to lend you my control.

You can give it back to me when we get in New York.

I will.

I will. Now darling.

Yes.

Yes. Now sweetheart, you may just conceivably have saved my career. Say, I bet she's sweeter than a stump broke cow, huh?

Let's cut in water.

Now your next section up here is a real speed.

Yeah. So be careful.

You know we had us a real speed wagon in here.

What kind of speed wagon? Shiny red uh transam and

And man that

Man, that mother was moving.

We'll all land in jail.

Uh Briar Chuck, Briar Chuck, this is Robin Hood.

Do you copy me over? Yeah, ten four. You got prior talking his merry men. Uh how's it hanging there, good buddy? Been waiting here from you all night. Uh was thinking of coming down there to meet you

Ha ha ha.

Yeah, well I'm feeling fairly melody myself. I tell you what, I'd feel a lot better if you boys had ride out and uh give me a hand with a little He asked fire the name of Counterball Butler.

Been trying to run me off the road.

Yeah, 104. We'll definitely blow his finals for him. Uh give us a twenty on that Genamo. He's a driver of red trans lam with yellow trim and the blue stripe down the middle. California license, please. Yeah, 104. You got fire ducking his very men. We're definitely 10 27 to the rendezvous and we're out in.

[Silence]

Try to get him on the radio.

Breaker breaker. This is Zippo calling coy. Do you read me? Boy, this is Zippo. Do you read me? Boy, can you hear me?

Guess what? Those are the gorillas waiting to trash court.

Ziproll, Delphine, this is Cody's car.

Sure. This is Coy's car.

All right.

I'm gonna be Cannonball and you can be Zippo.

After you, cannonball.

Okay. Phyllis, come and get it.

Ha ha ha.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Okay, you turkeys.

The bad dudes beat on the obsessive cannonball fan as the probation officer girlfriend of Cannonball gets out of the car and proceeds to go full on goddamn Linda Carter Wonder Woman ass kicking.

On the thugs, set to seventies funky disco music.

Let's go, Wonder Woman. Yeah. Fucking fuck em up.

And it all cuts to Carradine in the new car, smashing up the bad dude's car and spinning them out, then back to the probation.

Officer girlfriend beating wholesale ass for anyone that steps up to challenge.

And I am here for this sequence all fucking day. It's amazing.

Amazing. Fuck fucking do it.

She saves the obsessive fan mechanics ass, and that is the middle third of the film done. Jesus fucking Christ. What a sequence.

Yeah.

So the lot.

Yeah.

Yeah, but seriously, like

The action sequence of her kicking ass is very much like Linda Carter, where you know she can't quite do some of the stuff that they have her doing, but then she does some stuns that are really incredible at the same time, just like Linda Carter and Wonder Woman. So

Yeah.

You're impressed either way, and then also it's really fucking sexy to watch a fucking brunette beat the shit out of some dudes.

[Silence]

Yeah.

I have paid devil for that kind of action, including being one of the people getting beat up by the brunette.

Why wouldn't you?

Ha ha ha.

No judgment on my kinks now, folks.

No, you don't judge anybody.

Yeah.

Every now and then you need a raven haired fucking goddess to beat the fuck out of you.

I mean like uh big time.

Yeah.

Ha ha ha.

Fucking, I mean, yeah.

Yeah.

We should probably move on because the audience is really

We should really move on. It's starting to get real creepy around here.

All right, so the run to the end starts as Carradine pulls up in our eleven.

How you doing hero?

God. I think I need a doctor.

Okay. Not bad. But you should have seen police ladies personally routine. Oh, yeah?

Something I picked you up at a police rape clinic.

Been going on around here, anyhow.

We heard Kate Redman on the radio. He told him to trash

Oh, I get it. Those bastards thought you were me. Hey man, don't you get it? I am you. I got the red transam, I got the clothes, I even got the girl.

Not the girl.

All you got is the baseball cab and those weird low rider wheels. Where the hell did you get those? You're the mechanic. You check'em out, huh?

[Silence]

What is it?

Quite.

Coy, I want to drive. I'm worried about Seppo. He doesn't really know he is anybody.

Stay with a watching for me, Linda. If we leave Zip alone now, there's just no telling what kind of trouble we get in. The race is almost over.

So what's the first thing I'm gonna do when we get to New York?

Yeah.

Grazie.

[Silence]

Hey man, I got some bad news. Somebody punched a hole in your gas tank and she's leaking pretty bad. Can it help you? No. You take my girl and get the hell out of here. And I'm warning you, if you want to get this thing fixed, I'm gonna be back on the road and old cannonballs are gonna be passing you like you weren't even there.

What do you mean? I'm old canon.

Come on, Linda. Happy highways, Zippo.

Hey Darling.

How about if instead of uh

Uh buying a house with the

I mean all the kids at both.

Amen.

Sure.

Okay. Sure, then You could run for governor of

Governor of California.

And if I win that I could run for president of the United States.

That sounds pretty good. Well we could buy a house anywhere we want if we were president and first lady.

First lady.

Don't you think you ought to try for something small first, though, like dog catcher?

I'm only kidding.

You want the present?

Look at that.

[Silence]

I'll let it held out for a while.

For one more hour.

I don't remember.

We're gonna try to find it.

Well I guess I'm not going to be able to

Well, I guess we have a comment.

How much do I do?

Might as well check out that shopping center off there.

Yeah.

Hmm.

The only way we're gonna get a fan belt around here is a little bit more than a little bit.

Yeah.

What do you think? We could leave them some money and a note explaining why we had to do it. Okay, you're right to note.

[Silence]

Shall we uh try the yellow car? I'll take the doors.

Lock. Hey Senator. Yeah. How do you spell reimbursed?

Sorry.

Sorry. R E I and

Me you are a

U R L C. U R L D?

[Silence]

Right.

Good morning. What's going on here? Well, my

Well my battery died and um this young man here was kind enough to try and help me start it.

What are you doing with the crowbar?

My hood release is busted and this is the only way I can get it open.

Fix the trade.

You got a jumper, Kevin?

I uh have one in here.

Here you go.

All right now, you get that battery charged up.

Can't be so lucky next time.

You're absolutely right. I will. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

You have a nice day now.

Hey, that was pretty fascinating. Thank you.

You think he's gonna be back?

Well, not before I get this on, I hope.

You think $5 is enough?

Uh yeah, just gotta tighten this thing up a little bit.

The car.

[Silence]

We're gonna do

Hold it right there!

Alright.

[Silence]

I gotta say, the kids are making a right choice every time. And Skullnik there is our main hero's little brother. So he got this role probably through nepotism. Yeah.

Yeah.

But then again, all the carradines got their roles usually through nepotism because John Carradine, let's face it.

Yeah. John Carradine was always gonna let his kids get in there.

Yeah.

I mean everybody's gotta work in the caridine household and everybody's gotta do movies apparently.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone's everyone's gotta do movies. Everyone's gonna hang.

Right. But I am totally I'm totally rooting for the

youngest Carradine brother here and the lady that is his girlfriend, I don't know if you recognized her or not. She shows up in the howling and then she's also the woman who begs Mrs. Deagle to try and save her uh house from being foreclosed on just to give them a little more time.

She says that she's taken up sewing and that her husband Joe's been out of work. It's the same actress.

Well right then. Good for them. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I said, like a lot of people that came out of the Corman world, like including Joe Dante, used like Dick Miller and this actress and a lot of other people over and over again because they already worked together with Corman. So there you go.

Of course, there you go.

There you go.

All right, so at the end of the clip, they do a terrific sequence of the young keridine dipping, ducking, diving, dodging, flipping, and flopping around behind, over, and

below cars and a truly impressive bit of action he did before stealing the cop car and driving it off enough to where they can escape before tossing the keys and driving off. Holy fuck, chef's kiss for that sequence.

Yeah. That was uh that was sweet.

Ha ha ha.

What's funny is I actually described the action as he did it on screen and I just put the word in there. So that's how I did it.

Good job. Good for you.

It cuts from this It cuts from this to the two guys in a crop duster like plane, which is more dialogue that will save my breath and our twelve club.

What is the entrance to the Thank you.

You haven't gotten her yet.

Not the shadow of the chance.

Добавил субтитры DimaTorzok

Thank you.

Take me down.

Uh yeah, well as a matter of fact, Larry, I would like to dedicate my song to a very, very pretty young lady who lent me her guitar a while back when my my favorite blondie met with it. Unfortunately.

Up and planning

Planning for months

I can win it

What the hell are you trying to do, you

I'm gonna pull a thorn out of my side permanently.

Mr. Redskin, please.

[Silence]

Bye now, Furman.

Right, yeah.

End of the clip cuts to Carradine in the Ford going through unfinished and unpaved bypass highway land currently under construction. That is a shortcut to New York City. Do you remember when we built solid infrastructure? Wow, good times.

Nope. I don't actually remember that at all.

Anyway.

Anyway, the bad guy is on his tail and they are zooming past some really huge construction equipment that is just dangerous and fucking stupid, but cool as hell to watch.

Yeah.

It's big.

It's basically a demolition derby between the two cars trying to get to the city first. Plenty of ridiculous jumps and damage done to both vehicles, but it's a thumpin' good fucking time to watch. I'm not gonna describe it all. Watch this shit, it's fucking good.

Yeah. It's it's it's good shit. Get in get yourself involved.

A cop joins in, catches the black car the bad guy was in, who steals the cop's gun whenever he brings it too close to the window, throws the fucking cop to the ground, and then speeds off with the stolen gun. I mean, I hate the fact that it's the bad guy who did this, but that's still fucking cool.

Yeah, man, it's so nice. So...

Teridine comes up to an incomplete gap that is way too fucking high in the sky on the bypass. So he turns around. He has the bad guy shoot at him. So he turns right back around and goes for the jump at the bottom of that hill.

With the bad guy in hot pursuit, Carradine gets the speed up enough to completely bury the needle with the help of obvious movie magic. He makes the jump, but I don't care at this point because this is fun as fuck. This movie has built up so much.

Goodwill that Mat lines may have registered with me as the car lands, but that doesn't make me want it to be fully real. I'm just glad it looked cool enough and was that fucking fun.

Yeah, right. Good shit.

Yeah.

Having said that, the black car cannot gain speed because of the broken guitar headstock stuck under the cast pedal, so the bad guy skids out, curves to the side, and goes off the side of the unfinished skyline overpass and crashes.

To his death by fiery explosion. This actual crash was glorious, and everyone knows I love me some explosions in movies. So chef's kiss.

Chef's kiss.

This cuts to a chase between the harasser guy in the paid dragon.

Driving gig car and the cannonball fake out car with the girlfriend still in it. When a dude has a real problem with how he eats lifesavers, start setting up the dumbest and most elaborate shooting nest under a car hooked up.

Yeah.

Whatever.

What I mean, what are you gonna do?

He sets up and and murders the obsessed fan mechanic with an admittedly solid shot, but that sends the hired driver car

careening in terror and squashes the shooter dead whenever said jack falls out from under the car like they're known to fucking do. Yeah.

Yeah,'cause I mean jacks are always gonna fall out of your car.

The cannonball car spins out and the girlfriend slides out to get road rash as the car flips over and explodes, as we saw in the beginning nightmare sequence before.

That looked painful.

The young couple comes upon and finds the injured woman, and they have some dialogue about her condition in our 13th clip.

Oh my god.

My God. Oh my god!

[Silence]

Put it in the car.

But isn't it dangerous to move her?

We have no choice.

I have no choice.

Okay.

We gotta get her to a

Jim, should we go back? No, we gotta get this girl to the hospital and call the police.

Please.

As they were speeding off, they cause a truck to careen off the road and explode, which then starts a massive pile-up sequence. That is fucking insane. And seriously, you just have to watch this. I cannot describe this and give it justice at all. It's more cars piling up than

And I am willing to fucking count, and all of them exploded into a fucking inferno. No notes. That's how you fucking movie. Yeah.

movie. Yeah, that's that's that's how you do it.

The movie cuts from this to the hospital and our 14th clip.

She's okay and her family's being notified.

Staying out of time.

There's really nothing more you can do now. Why don't you go and get some rest?

Some rest.

Yeah, yeah.

It's fire.

Let's find ourselves in a hotel and get a little

Yeah.

I've had it, of course.

Jim, we've only got a few miles left to go. Let's finish the race. The race has been one.

[Silence]

Well how would it look you quit in a race right before the end?

For the finish.

Seriously, I'm rooting for these fucking kids. They waited till they made sure the lady was okay and then they just want to finish the race to finish the race because they made it this far.

Yeah, g give'em a quick pick me up, like cocaine.

Ha ha ha.

Jersey this guy should do cocaine about it.

This is the nineteen seventies. You know that doctor gave'em some fucking bennies'cause they were just handing out speed like it was nothing.

Yeah, definitely. But you know what? Uh the jokes on them, uh this kid as A D A D H D and just you know has been diet

diagnose'cause no one's figured it out back then. And uh so that uh all those uppers aren't gonna do shit except for make him concentrate really well.

Which is what he wants while he's driving. So Yeah.

At the end of the clip they cut back to even more cars piling up and exploding into balls of fire. And I am as giddy as can be and wondering why I enjoy such carnage and suffering like this. But I'm also not willing to put in the work on self reflection. So

So I just go back to trying and failing to count how many fucking crashes continue to happen and smile as I laugh like Ron Swanson while doing it.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah. I mean of course.

Hopefully I remember to punch in a Ron Swanson giggle because that would be

Hehehehe Ha ha ha Ha ha ha!

At some point in the middle of it, Mary Warnoff drives up in her van and drives through the exploding mess of death, all the while cars continue to pile up around them and explode, and she navigates it, no problem, like she was raised in a Mad Max universe.

And just dropped here into this movie to do this race before going back to her dimension and ruling the fucking wasteland. She drives it that well, seriously.

Yeah.

Looks good.

Good. I know this is all done through the magic of editing, and I am probably being shown the same crashes from multiple angles to make it feel more dynamic.

and more awful than it was. And I don't care because it was done so well and super fun to watch. All of that shit happen all at once, even though they do it from all those angles. It no notes. These crashing pile-ups were horrific and really, really well done.

Oh yeah. I mean it was just excellent.

Mary makes it through and they cut to dialogue which is our fifteenth clip.

Hey, put on your uniform.

uniforms girl.

That is why.

The first ones.

Where is everybody?

According to my seat, this is Terry McMillan.

And it's blazer.

Yay!

Congratulations.

Congratulations, Mr. McMillan.

Thank you, thank you.

Well first, we made it.

I knew we'd make it.

A long hard race, but we have

[Silence]

All the way.

I think uh some champagne.

Champagne's appropriate.

Yeah.

I think I left it on the plane.

You've been listening to it all across

All across the country is perfect.

The water's erased over this emission.

over this America of ours.

Hermann.

Urban Waters in my racing heart.

As that awful song starts up again, we see the various participants pulling into New York and making their way into the Lincoln Tunnel. Real travelog kind of.

Of shots from the air of all over the city, including Times Square and a bunch of other cool stuff. Within seven minutes left in the film, the ladies crash into a car trying to shortcut through an alley, and that starts a real

Road rage incident, and they are both stuck as fuck the way they got wedged into the alley from that collision. Carradine pulls in as the actual first car, and that means more dialogue and our final clip.

[Silence]

What the hell are you doing here?

¡Ay no, ya que estaba aquí!

Don't get you on.

You are.

Thank you.

What happened to your car, kid?

Target.

Thank you.

Does that mean I No

No, get in there and stand for your entrance ticket.

You

You are about to win your super race.

Mr. Buckman, tell us how you win the race.

I don't know.

Thank you.

Hey, look later with that stuff, will you? We ain't wanna race till we get that.

Do I get that ticket stamp?

Well I got it here someplace.

Amen.

How did you avoid the big pile of Canon Ball? What pylog?

It was nothing a couple of cars on the jersey trackback. It was really nothing.

You call 17.

감사합니다.

It was a red trans.

We thought it was you at first.

Well, Linda and Zippo are in that car. Benny, what the hell's going on?

Yeah, fine. Come on, will you?

I saw the whole thing from the copter. I'm afraid the driver bought the farm. Somebody picked the girl up, must have taken her to a hospital. What hospital?

St. Paul's, Glennfield, New Jersey. How do I get there?

Okay.

Cut!

Wait any, what the hell is it?

What the hell is it?

Just

Just then.

Just there to think it, will you? Come on.

Come on.

I posted a lot of ass for you today.

Who's that thinking?

That if you bust for me.

Yeah.

[Silence]

It was you that blew up the German driver, wasn't it?

When you stamp the goddamn ticket, you haven't won a race to stamp the ticket.

I've won the race.

Cory, this is important to me. It's not just the money. My life is on the line.

Keep this as a souvenir of Zippo.

If you want it stamped, stamp it yourself.

How do I get to the hospital?

Come on, Corey. I'll take it.

We got a lot to talk about.

Thank you.

Well, Benny, you and I have a lot to talk about too.

Let's conduct Mr. Buckham.

Mm-hmm.

Boy, two nine winners in a row.

Yeah. Yeah. Summer.

Right.

ご視聴ありがとうございました

Why? W what we come in third? Fourth.

You are the winner!

the winners. Congratulations.

Congratulate.

We won! We won!

Whoa!

Doc monitor.

Doctor Acker?

Yeah.

I'm roaming out.

So I can't.

They didn't have anything in a king size bit.

I better take the oil.

At the end of the clip, the delivery of the hired driver car happens, which is that better change your oil phrase that you hear at the very end of the clip. The look on the couple's face is fucking hilarious. And that dude struts off just as funky as the

[Silence]

Fucking sucks!

I still think that's really harsh.

Yeah, I mean it feels Real mean.

Really unnecessarily mean, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think that's that's definitely your fault. Um

Man, this film was fucking great. I gotta say, I really love the work that they did for the kids to become the winners. I thought that was a really cool idea. It it

It worked for me. I totally was like ready for it and it I popped. Like I was like, oh, right. They won, they did all of the right stuff. They made all the right decisions. They helped everyone. They did exactly the kind of thing that you would want someone

to do when they're on the road and like, you know, w come across someone that's been hurt. They go out of their way to take that woman to the hospital. They try to help the guy stay awake even though he's their competition and they could have just passed him and let him crash. Right. Like every choice that

you would hope someone would make and do the right thing. This couple does, and then through some kind of like movie magic karma, they end up winning and they get to have all of their dreams come true. And like the guy really seems like he wants power, but at the same time it feels like he

He effectively is just like, well, I don't have to worry about taking care of you if I can become president. So maybe he's just like doing this pipe dream thing. Maybe they will just buy a house with the money in Hawaii and go live and be happy. Like, I hope so.

I hope so. That would be nice. Yeah.

Yeah, I w you know I hope that that's

I'm hoping for a nice little You know, that they're all gonna be uh you know, they they're gonna have all happy endings.

Right. And we also get to see that David Carradine is with his lady. He finds out what's important and he was fast enough and he's the only guy that survived. So if it was him

him and the other guy competing for that racing job. Carate now has a racing job at the end of this too. So he's gonna be okay. His lady doesn't have to worry about him anymore because now he's gonna be racing professionally and legally in controlled environments that he'll be more safe.

Yes. And he and he'll be everything's gonna be just fine for David Carradine now. So everything

Everybody you want to have something good happen happens. And even the people that I hate but I didn't want to have them die, they get kicked out of the car before death. So they're okay.

Yeah. And uh we saw cops get fucked with, so

So many cops fucked with in both of these movies, both last week and this week, and I'm here for it all day. And I'm loving these fucking rogue roadmaster movies that we're watching with these cards.

I know, I'm loving these things. Just from a simpler time where there weren't flock cameras everywhere.

When we weren't being watched constantly and wondering what's gonna fucking happen and when we're terrified of what we can and can't say on a podcast because it may be listened to. Yeah.

Yeah, I know, right? And and and maybe not even by people, but by like AI and shit.

Yeah.

Welcome to the surveillance state, my man.

My man.

Yeah, in nineteen eighty four. I didn't know they were using that as a playbook.

Yeah.

Ha ha ha.

Oh fuck it. Well, do you have anything nice to say about the movie or are we just gonna complain about it?

I I'm I've uh nice to say I loved it. I find loved it. Loved the cars in it. Uh good muscle cars, good racing, good action. Uh acting was d fine enough for this movie.

The only thing that was fantastical and not believable was that jump of the gap in that like skyline overpass. But the way that they pulled it off, it made Yeah.

Yeah.

And it was just kind of movie magic that got him across. And you do see how they did the edit, you do see the seam on how he lands on the other side and how they did a s less significant jump just to have the car land.

And then they just kind of edited it in to look like he was landing on the other side of the overpass.

Yeah.

And really that was the only thing that was fantastical and not actually done by a car. Everything else, it did not look like it was editing to make like make.

it look like it was more severe, other than they may have done the editing to make there look like there were more cars piling up, which I'm totally fine with. That gimmick was working. All those multiple angles of those cars crashing, I couldn't get enough of that. It would just it just

No. It it even though it kept going, it felt like I was seeing more and more different crashes every time and it tricked my brain and I was really like, Holy shit, how many cars are they crashing here?

Yeah.

You know, especially like the Mor Mary Warnoff sequence.

She's literally like, or whoever's driving that van through that section, if it is her or if it's a stunt driver, you see in a wide shot where it's just like cars lined up for them to zipzag through, and then they have edits where there's smoke everywhere and they can't see in the

the car, but that doesn't mean that they're turning through those cars or there's any cars piling up in that. They just edit it so back and back and forth so well that it makes it feel like they're escaping pile ups as it just keeps building up and she's swerving as the pileups change.

The turns and everything. It's so well edited. I just have to point that out. Like'cause I mean, like after I see that wide shot, I'm like, oh, clearly that wasn't as many cars as they made it look like as that was happening. So chef's kiss to how well done that was.

was again beautiful yeah beautiful

Yeah, like and I'm actually not going overboard blowing the film. Like that's just all stuff that happened that was really well done.

Yeah.

You did it well. And uh like I said, you were gonna blow this movie.

And

And you you definitely throated it.

Maybe that's why I'm so hoarse. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'm hitting my vape way more than I fucking should have.

No, no.

Oh no, it's'cause this movie has slid all the way down.

Uh with that why don't we go ahead and close out this fucking show, my man.

That'll be for the best.

For the best. All right. So we're going to take the break here. We're going to play the show housekeeping. And when we come back, we'll have a song that quite literally will be created right before I fucking edit this show.

Hopefully it will in some way, shape, or form match the theme of the s the movie or tell somewhat of the plot line of the movie, or at least in some way, shape or form have some lyrics that rhyme that also have something to do with the movie, but if not Uh it is what it is exactly.

Yeah, I better think.

No, I th I've got it too.

All right, so we'll find out after we get done with this.

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dot LegionPodcasts.com/ cinema dash psyops dash podcast. Also available

along with all of the fellow Legionneers on the Legion Discord chat. And now let's give you a rundown of the memes and how you're going to get them through Cinema Psyops. The easiest place to go

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that you're subscribed to us or here every week just like us.

[Music]

Continental race, no fear It is Red Pontiac, zooming through the night The roll-offs is girl.

Girl nervous!

Nervous holds on tides, simple by side.

Fixing the machine, fuelin' up the dreams, racing for the sea.

Hold on tight, we're burning bright Cannonball is racing, ready to ignite in the line.

[Music]

Lurk and rivals in his way Dirty tricks in action, time to seize the day.

Benny's deaths and shadows plans in the dark

Explosions lighting up the race with a spark Curvin's dreams are stalling, will he take them bright? Campbell is racing, ready to ignite

[Music]

We'll find a way with Linda by my side, we'll never sway In the heat of the battle we stand as one

One

Chasing down the dream until the race is done Hold on tight!

All right, well hopefully you didn't oversell and promise more than what you should have.

I know I didn't. I know I didn't I bet it was the best thing that's ever happened on podcasts, ever.

Well that I know for sure is not true.

That's a guarantee. That's a Matt Sayop guarantee. The greatest thing that ever happened in the history of podcasting was that song that Tort just chose. Tort did an excellent job. Remember he did all the work.

Thank you.

So if you have any problems then you have to talk to court. But I guarantee that that was the best thing that's ever happened.

I see how what this is. This is just once again another one of those group projects in school that you just fucking assign your name to and do nothing.

Yeah.

Exactly. Although I also make sure everyone knows you did all the work so that if it is bad, they blame you for it, not me.

Yeah, I I fucking get that. Thanks for that.

You're welcome. I'm I'm glad we all figured this out together.

Well together. While you're out there blaming me for your distrust, distaste, and disdain for the music that happened, I guess kick the fuck out of this week and make it your bitch.

I'm shining.

[Music]

Let the rubber burn Transcontinental, it's his turn.

[Music]

Tryna take him down.

In pursuit, he's got to wear the crown Sinbils disguise planning to deceive.

Receive.

They'll be racing hard, no time to breathe. Chaos in the pits, smoke fills the air, Haze that's putting

What in the L did this?

Let the rubber burn Transcontinental, it's his turn.

[Music]

Justice for life, living this path, got nowhere to hide.

Alright, awesome. Give me a second.

Recording in progress.

Right.

And we get this up. Sorry, I'm just trying to get all my shit together.

All right.

Alright, uh that's recording. Okay. Alright, talk for me one more time.

And yeah, okay. Where everything looks good so far, and I'm at least recording on Zoom as a backup, so I think we're ready to rock if you are.

I'm ready to go.

I need to turn my volume down just a little bit, but not too much, so it's too...

Alright. Can you talk again real quick? I'm gonna play something.

Yeah, it's dying.

Can you hear that stuff?

I didn't see ya. Yep. Okay. You called three.

Three, two, one.

Like to drive a lot.

It's like a sentence. A sentence.

This race is very important to you.

That's how we gonna be doing this show.

That's what I mean. Yes, I understand.

Yeah.

A lot of this was like four and five minutes of screen time condensed down with all the car howling removed and stuff.

Uh.

For the reving removed.

performances too, man.

I mean why not?

I'll tell you why I did because I didn't want to fucking describe it.

Well of course. Jesus Christ, that sounds like a lot.

Sounds like a lot of work, and I'm not into it.

I'm back in the car.

Stupid American cards.

Dare you?

That isn't cold.

I mean nowadays, no, you're probably right, but how dare you

The safety cut.

That red pants.

Red Panther.

You're not having a stroke, I'm jumping around.

Ja.

But if you are it's not the audio that's making you think it

It's ruined.

And

And stroking out over here, man.

Yeah.

Son of a bitch.

Where the hell?

Then we

Now I'm gonna jump around on this too.

Really?

Thank you.

Were you in the car that we're going to do?

Oh this is when uh Zippo starts talking about how obsessed he is with fucking Koya and it's really fucking creepy.

Right, buddy.

Yeah.

That was really fucking creepy.

That's all right.

That's good.

[Silence]

Yeah.

[Silence]

We need a cop.

Three, two, one.

You're no cock warrior, huh? Friend of Cade Redmond's, huh?

I don't want him to get beat up because he's not actually a cough.

It's a good one.

I mean.

Lawyers are not happy about that.

Like Harry, we're getting a few. You know what? The lawyers need to just be calm.

Спасибо.

All right, this is less than two minutes.

Yeah.

I was lightweight. Full like a bull.

Boy, yeah.

In a hurry, but I'm not in the

Yeah.

I hate the world, but not that no I do hate the world.

He was alone, goddammit.

Despite how the world has hurt me, Matt, I still find reasons to love it.

Love it.

Really?

Kind of long.

This is full in command.

Command.

Yeah, this is command.

No, I'm just angry all the time and it does no good anymore.

About it.

Are you the hulk?

Road is the other end.

It's my secret moment. I literally am in a low grade rage every fucking moment of every day.

Everyone asked me how I could drink so much is just my secret. I'm always drunk.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Hardest working liver this side of the Mississippi, I'll tell you that.

They aver sober and I tell them why and how would I ever

Yeah, right.

Why do I need to fucking think about this?

about this shit.

You don't drink to forget, you drink to not remember.

I drink.

I drink no. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying, to not remember.

Yeah.

Don't let's not pretend me and some other worthless alcoholic are the same. I'm built different.

Oh that was a harsh hit.

Don't lie first.

[Silence]

They late I don't like locking.

Oh Jesus!

I don't like sloppy night mother. Sloppy. Make it sloppy, motherfucker.

I never really talked.

Paul Bartel's performance is the one that I definitely didn't want to cut out.

'Cause while they're beating up Dick Miller's character, it's fucking great.

Down.

Yeah, so the guy with the sort of bozo fro like I have if I don't shave my head.

Yeah. That plays the piano and is the main boss that was always getting Dick Miller like beat up or threatened. That's the guy who directed this film, Plum Bar Plant.

Well, yeah.

He must have been like, Fuck you dick Miller.

Not since the fucking animal house have I been so happy to hear guitars get destroyed.

Destroy.

[Silence]

Excuse you.

But cherry.

Jerry

Sorry.

Stop.

I had to at least finish it.

Be careful.

It's actually not the worst you fucking sank, but it still offends me.

I know right.

Drive down the middle, go up.

It wasn't too bad, was it?

Gracias.

Six.

Sixty percent of white guys can sing like that to try and get like

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never tried to use it to get late though. I I didn't feel like it that that was appropriate.

Nor should you at all. No. No, no, no, that's done.

Definitely not now because you know it's

Fucking Mary P.

Mary been she won't buy any of that.

Okay. I'm trying to yeah, no, I'm trying to figure out my fucking notes here at autoc. So give me a second. Yeah, it sounded like I struck that.

Yeah, go ahead, fucking

How you doing here?

I need a doctor.

Here. Fuck it's weird.

Yeah.

Honestly at this point, I think that our audience is like

Cool with it. Because we are so open to like everybody's things, so

Yeah.

You know, like I would hope that they would return that for

Yeah, right.

I got the red.

I got the red trans.

What I wonder.

What I wonder is like how many of them think we're kidding and how many of them think we're serious.

Weird lower.

Where the hell do you get those? Where is that?

Think that that is definitely the one thing we're we we gotta try to push is making them really wonder how fucked up we are.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't think we really have to work that hard to push it, my friend.

No, I don't think so either.

Yeah, I'm gonna start jumping around this as long as shit.

To dedicate my song to look.

His eldest is

Yeah.

My favorite.

Well, thank you very much.

This motherfucker actually can play and perform. Like he was amazing in Phantom of the Paradise's beef. He actually is And that's what bugs me I think the most about how terrible it is in this

You're like, why the fuck?

Oh my god. Yes, oh my god.

Продолжение следует...

But isn't it dangerous? I know you're not used to hearing a woman say oh my god.

We gotta get her to.

To a hospital quick.

Actually that's a lie. I am used to it. It's usually Oh my god, you're already done?

Please.

Or you're already done.

Oh my god.

They're like super disappointed in you. That's the only thing.

Can you warn me next time?

Next Tony.

Alright, clip's done.

Place is a fucking

It's a fucking mess.

K Red man's lurking rivals in his way.

Dirty tricks in action, time to seize the day.

Benny's deaths and shadows plans in the dark

Explosions lighting up the race with a spark Curvus dreams are stallin', will he take them bride? Candball is racing, ready to ignite

[Music]

We'll find a way With Linda by my side will never sway.

In the heat of the battle we stand as one Chasing down the dream until the race is done Hold on tight, we're burning bright cannonball is racing, ready to ignite

Bye.

Crossing the line. Woo!

[Music]

I also make sure everyone knows you did all the work so that if it is bad, they blame you for it, not me.

Yeah, I I fucking get that. Thanks for that.

You're welcome. I'm I'm glad we all figured this out. Well together.

Well together. While you're out there blaming me for your distrust, distaste, and disdain for the music that happened, I guess kick the fuck out of this week and make it your bitch.

Mm-hmm.

Recording stopped.

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