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Join us for an emotional and inspiring episode featuring Amy Dozier from the Woody Williams Foundation. Amy shares her personal journey of loss, being a Gold Star spouse, and her mission to honor her husband's legacy through supporting military families. She discusses the challenges and healing processes Gold Star families face, the importance of connection and remembrance, and her involvement with various military nonprofits. This episode also includes insights from Stefanie on the history and significance of Gold Star and Blue Star service flags, showcasing powerful symbols of sacrifice and service. Don't miss this heartfelt conversation on finding purpose through grief and the community's role in supporting those who serve.
00:00 Introduction to Amy Dozier and Her Background
01:33 Becoming a Gold Star Spouse
04:23 The Challenges of Grief and Family Dynamics
08:40 Finding Support and Purpose
12:51 Joining the Woody Williams Foundation
13:10 The Mission of the Woody Williams Foundation
18:32 The Importance of Connection and Remembrance
22:20 Changing Landscape of War and Survivor Support
23:16 Connecting with Grateful Americans
24:08 Horse Soldier Bourbon and the Be Cowboy Award
30:20 The Importance of Gratitude and Self-Care
32:41 Words of Wisdom on Grief and Hope
35:26 Woody Williams Foundation and Community Support
36:20 Flags of Change: The Story Behind Service Flags
Creators and Guests
Guest
Amy Dozier
Amy Dozier in a nonprofit professional from North Carolina who joined the Foundation in July 2023. Her journey to working in the Nonprofit space is unique. After losing her husband in the war in Iraq, she and her daughter were lifted up by several organizations dedicated to military survivors. This support propelled Amy to further her education and to give back to her community. Through her efforts with groups such as TAPS, Tuesday’s Children, and Veterans Bridge Home, her passion for trauma-informed care of our nation's Veterans and survivors deepened.
What is Freedom and Glory - Tales of American Spirit?
Welcome to Freedom and Glory: Tales of American Spirit—a podcast celebrating the heart of American craftsmanship, resilience, self-reliance, and the power of disruption. Through inspiring stories and authentic storytelling, we shine a spotlight on individuals and communities who embody these values, proving that small, determined efforts can spark meaningful change.
Join us as we share personal tales of triumph, innovation, and hope—moments that define the American spirit and shape our nation’s identity. Whether you’re seeking motivation to pursue your dreams or a reminder of the power of community, Freedom and Glory offers a powerful dose of inspiration rooted in resilience and determination.
Listen, be inspired, and take action.
11 Freedom and Glory
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[00:00:00]
Liz: today we're joined by Amy Dozier from the Woody Williams Foundation. Thank you so much for being with us, Amy. Of course. Thanks for having me. Amy's dedicated her life to honoring her husband's leg legacy and supporting military families.
We're so glad you're here. Will you tell
Amy Dozier: us a little bit about yourself? Sure. Um, I grew up just down the street in Durham, in southwest Durham area. Um, my parents moved there when I was about one. Um, I was born in Iowa. We, I lived in Durham almost my entire life. I went to all the public schools in Durham, um, graduated, went [00:01:00] to East Carolina for a little while.
Um, met my husband John. Um, we, it was a, a pretty whirlwind romance. He was just this cute guy with a buzz cut on a military base that I thought was really handsome. Um, we got married, got pregnant, he deployed. I mean, you know, in true military fashion, thinks just moved very quickly. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, I, I, I'm a lover of music and sunsets and dogs.
All the things. So
Bill: he swept you off your feet is what it sounds like.
Amy Dozier: Yes.
Bill: But in addition to all the wonderful things you just mentioned, you also became a, a, a gold star spouse.
Amy Dozier: I did.
Bill: And I want to, if you don't mind, get into the story about that.
And John, do you mind sharing?
Amy Dozier: Yeah, no, I don't mind at all. Um, so John was in the army. He was an army sniper and he deployed just after we found out we were pregnant. And I had a fairly. Um, complicated pregnancy. So I stayed [00:02:00] stateside. He went to Germany with his unit and from Germany they went into Iraq.
And this was, you know, during the height of the war, during the Surge 2000 7 0 8 era. Um, so he went on in, I stayed behind, I was actually living here right in Apex. Um, I was. You know, setting up house for when he came home. Um, I gave birth to our daughter, Emma Grace, and she was a few weeks early and, um, just gave birth right down the street at WakeMed.
Um, and on January 9th, 2008, I had just put her in her crib to go to sleep and that's when I got a knock on the door and I opened it up and it was three men just in uniform from Fort Bragg and it was. I don't know, maybe 8 30, 9 o'clock at night. Mm-hmm. Um, honestly, and, and I've had this talk with so many different Gold Star families, like what was that moment like for you?
Yeah, and one of the things that I, I find to be true for a lot of us is that we, we tend to go into this shock and like you almost don't [00:03:00] remember what happened in those moments. What I do remember from that night is feeling that sense of shock, feeling a sense of fear. Um, I, I honestly thought that maybe they were there to kidnap us, or, I mean, there were these men in uniform during an active war time.
Yeah. And I thought, oh, why else would they be at my house? Um, and so of course, I. Slammed the door on their face, I wouldn't let them in. Um, but they, once I finally did, uh, allow them to come in, um, they sat down at my dining room table right there, near the front door, and, um, proceeded to tell me that earlier in the day that my husband, um, staff Sergeant Jonathan Killian Dozier had been killed.
Along with, um, many of his unit members by an IED. Oh, yeah. And Baghdad, Iraq.
Bill: Yeah. Where was he deployed?
Amy Dozier: He was in Baghdad. He was in Iraq. He was in Baghdad. Okay. Mm-hmm.
Bill: Yeah, I know the area. And that was, uh, and as you mentioned, it was, uh, at the height of the war and IEDs were a huge problem.
Amy Dozier: [00:04:00] Yes,
Bill: I know the military does a really, at least in my experience, they've done a wonderful job informing families and helping them through.
What is an unbelievable situation. Did you find that to be true? The people who came to your door and then, and then of course you're faced with all kinds of challenges. Maybe you can talk a little bit about that.
Amy Dozier: Yeah, that, that's such a good question and it's a question that has come so full circle in the last 17 years of my life.
In the beginning, I have to say, looking back like I, I didn't know what I didn't know. Right? Um, so in the moment, of course, I felt very cared for. You know, this man came and picked me up at my house and took me over to Fort Bragg to fill out paperwork, and he did that. Gosh, several times. I think somebody even was with me, um, at the funeral in Arlington.
And so I had somebody there and I had his phone number and business card for about I maybe a month or two. Um, but then after that the [00:05:00] everything just kind of dropped off and I was. Clueless. I had no idea what to do. Um, I think the hardest part for me in that time, and again, just something that I learned later on, was that, um, you know, any death, any time there's a, an upheaval in a family, um.
Add war, add politics, add money, add stuff, add all of the emotions, add the grief, and it has such a potential to really drive a wedge in between families. Mm-hmm. And I thought my family was the only one to go through that. And it was so embarrassing. People would ask me, you know, about what I was going through and I wouldn't want to tell them about the dark things my family was going through.
Oh,
Bill: tell us. No, I mean that No, I do mean that because I think people would assume the obvious, obviously the financial need. What do you do? Where do you move all the [00:06:00] things about your future. Right? I I, I've had a, I know a lot of families go through that, but Sure. Especially military families. You're pretty close knit, I would assume.
Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. So when you talk about such things, what kinds of things are you talking about?
Amy Dozier: Anything from benefits, navigation to family dynamics to a. Who the heck am I in this new normal? I mean, what, what do I do with this tiny baby that I have? You know, it's there. There are a lot of us, there are a lot of widows who had small children when, when their husbands were killed.
Um, and so, you know, looking back at that time. Um, just the things that we were going through as a family. The, I learned a lot in therapy about the concept of disenfranchised grief. And remember I said that this was a whirlwind romance like we met in 2005. We married at the beginning of oh six. I found out I was pregnant pretty early on, and he deployed shortly [00:07:00] thereafter.
Wow. So in total, I was his wife on this earth for less than three years. Wow. I had his child, I'm raising his child who's now 18 mm-hmm. And a freshman at Meredith College. That congrats. But thank you. But if you look back, I mean, this is not uncommon. You know, we get these, these, well, I, I had my husband for almost three years, and his family had him for almost 30.
And there is this perceived hierarchy, if you will, in grief. It feels disgusting when you're in it, but when you look back you can see that it's not right, but it makes so much sense when you're going through that and so it causes a lot of conflict. Um, I was. Absolutely not my best self back then. Um, I did not hold my tongue very well.
Um, I was just angry. I was angry at the world. I was [00:08:00] angry at John. I was angry at the people who built the IED that killed him. Um, and I was resentful of the fact that I had to raise this child without her father. Um, so all of that just kind of went into play and, you know, add just logistics. Um. Where do I go?
Who do I turn to? What benefits am I, what, what did I pay into as his wife? Like what, what am I do? Like what, what's next? Right? Um, and that's, that's kind of a theme in this, in this world is, you know, a lot of people go through those same things.
Bill: Yeah. How,
Liz: I mean, what did you do? How did you get. Plugged in with help or how did you
Amy Dozier: So I went up with my family.
We went up to Washington DC we went to go, um, back to Arlington because I wanted to take Emma to her dad's grave and he's in section 60. Um, grave number 8 7 2 7 for anyone listening, whoever wants to go and visit. Um. And we went up [00:09:00] there. She was still very, very young. And I, I guess that there was some, somewhere in Washington DC, there was some event happening, and it was for military families, military survivors, all of the different segments of the military population.
And I found this tent. All of these people inside the tent were, or under the tent were wearing these red shirts that said taps on them. It was the Tragedy Assistance program for survivors. And this is an organization that was created by Bonnie Carroll in 1994, um, after the loss of her husband in a training accident, when she realized that there was literally nothing for her.
Or her five other peers that she knew had lost a husband in service to our country. So she built this organization, it's been around for 31 years, and they just kind of brought me in and connected me with, um, other peers that had gone [00:10:00] through similar things. And that's when I really started to learn that.
Healing was not only was I worth worthy of healing, um, it was so possible and so was like thriving. Like who knew, who knew that you could actually move through this, um, and come out on the other end far greater than you started.
Liz: Wow. That's amazing. That gives you hope, huh? Yeah. I mean, I can feel your, your passion, like obviously this was hugely influential.
I mean, is that, how did you get to the Woody Williams? Were you trying to.
Amy Dozier: I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Yeah, same. Same. Yeah. I was actually, I was working in orthopedic nursing and massage therapy, and then John died and I was a mom and just kind of floundering like, what? What's next? I, I'm really fortunate to have had the support of the military, [00:11:00] um, to take the time to find myself and figure out what was next.
I used my, um, my GI bill or John's GI Bill, um, to go back to school and get my master's degree because I knew in that same time, in that same like five or six year timeframe, um, I realized that. We were doing really well. Um, we still had some stuff. We still had to, to work through some stuff, and I was still learning a ton, but what I realized was that I.
I, I could find purpose in the pain that I once felt, and if I could do that, maybe I could share that lesson with other people who were going through something similar. Um, so that's one of the reasons that I went back to school. But it's also another reason that I just kind of threw myself. Fully into the world of military nonprofits, just learning how they operate.
How can I be a part of this? How can, you know, just a, a side note, [00:12:00] I'll never forget reading an interview that John did just before he left for Iraq, and he said, I always wanted to be an American soldier. I always wanted to be part of something bigger than myself. And I, you know, I, I really took that to heart and I, one of the lessons that I learned in grief was that.
You know, there are so many people who have died, who have fought and died for our freedom. Our job is to steward that freedom. Well, and that's the lesson that I took with me was not only teach my daughter how to live as a good steward of these freedoms and opportunities that are given to us because they died.
Um, but to, to share these with other people who are along the journey with us. So I just threw myself into this, this world and I became just friends and acquaintances and colleagues with different people. And ultimately, um, about three years ago, I signed a contract. It was a six month contract with the Woody Williams Foundation, and they just continued to.[00:13:00]
Say, Hey, will you, will you stay on a little longer? So you signed a six month contract, and here I am, almost three years later. It's just been fascinating.
Bill: Well, can you tell us a little bit about the foundation and, and what it does and offers? Yeah,
Amy Dozier: yeah. Um, so it was founded, gosh, not quite 15 years ago, uh, by Woody Williams, Herschel, Woody Williams.
He was in, he received the Medal of Honor. Um, for his heroic ex in World War II on Iwo Jima. Lost a lot of friends during that war, came home, continued his service. And when he retired, he said, you know, I just, I, I'm not ready to stop serving. I want to take care of the families that were left behind, also known as Gold Star families.
Um, so Woody got together with his family and he said, I, I wanna build something. I want to do something for these families. So he started this foundation, he. They started working together to build these beautiful monuments all over the country. We've got, I think, almost 160 and one in Guam, and they serve as just [00:14:00] kind of a reminder, um, of the service and sacrifice of military families.
Um, and so we've been around for, I wanna say 12 or 13 years. And like I said, I've been there for about three.
Bill: I think he used to, if I recall his bio. Used to deliver messages to folks like you? Yes. Back in the day, even prior to his service?
Amy Dozier: Yes. Yes. He did. Gosh, the notification was so different back then.
Mm-hmm. Very, very different. I can't imagine.
Bill: I know you do a lot of speaking, right? Yes. Is that therapy or, or what is it for you?
Amy Dozier: Well, full disclosure, I, I go to therapy to become better at it because it's so nerve wreck you Very natural. It's working, you know, I. I'm a writer. I'm a writer at heart. Um, it's safe.
Writing is very safe. Um, I joke, I come from a, a family of type A personalities and I tend to get a little lost, [00:15:00] and I feel like writing, um, is like my way of getting all my words out with nobody talking over me. The same has been true in grief, especially early on, feeling some of that disenfranchisement and feeling a little bit lost and lonely in those early days of grief.
I, I did start writing, and then the writing really touched other people and they, they asked me more and more, you know, why, why don't you come and share some of those writing, share your heart. Um, and it's, you know, I don't love being under the spotlight, but you know, I've learned that, you know, everybody's got a story.
And I always tell people, use your story for good. Like, that's why we're here. And. I, I just happen to have a story and a platform, and by God, if I'm gonna be a good steward, like I want to, I think this is just one of those growth opportunities that I, I have no choice but to seize and, and take advantage of even when it's [00:16:00] scary.
Bill: It is. People are afraid to speak, but boy, the reward must be awesome. I mean, the feedback you get. Yeah.
Liz: It doesn't sound like there's the too many organizations, and even like Taps you said started 30 years ago. 31, yeah. Yeah. So I, I don't know. I mean, it, I'm just thinking [00:17:00] about what the kind of support people used to have.
I mean, do, do you have, do you all have a sense of how many Gold star families there are? Like,
Amy Dozier: you know, I looked that up recently and it was like 1.7 million. Wow. I mean, all of them are not living today. This is for across all, all, um, war periods. Um, I'm not sure. How correct that number is. But it's, it's interesting.
There's a lot of us and it feels like such a small world at the same time. Mm-hmm. That makes any sense because it's like, maybe there are 1.7 million of us. I, I know that there are thousands and thousands at, at national conferences that I go to up in DC every year. Um, but it's, it's so interesting. It's like you walk into the room of another of, of Gold Star family members.
You, you feel an instant connection because it's like the club that you never wanted to be a part of, but you can't imagine living without. And you just walk in the [00:18:00] room and you know, people get it. There's a lot of us and it's a small world.
Bill: Yeah, it is. And you do feel all alone. And I, I, I'm just wondering since you're out and you.
You're living it, but you also interact with people who are living it. What are the challenges? What are, what are they searching for, I guess? Is there something beyond, yeah. Where do I pick up the benefit check and what, you know, the mechanics of living, but is there something else? There's gotta be a,
Amy Dozier: mm-hmm.
Bill: That connection that is,
Amy Dozier: I think
Bill: that's made, that's important.
Amy Dozier: If I had, if I had to sum it up. Regardless of the, the era, regardless of the manner of death, regardless of where you fit in that family, your relationship to that person who died, I think number one, we want connection to validate the fact that we're not alone.
We [00:19:00] wanna find meaning like this can't be for nothing, right? It just seems so senseless sometimes it can't be for nothing, so we need to find that meaning. I think lastly, we just, we don't want them to be forgotten, so I think connection, meaning, and remembrance. I think those would be the top three things that surpass any, anything
Bill: that that makes sense.
I know with the foundation. Um, your outreach, that's part of your job over there. How important is that? I mean, to, to do a program like this, for instance, or, I know you have events and maybe you can talk a little bit about that as well. How important is that to get the word out, Coldstar families?
Amy Dozier: Oh, my, it's, it's so important.
I actually just made. LinkedIn post about it this morning. Um, it's, it's everything to, again, number one [00:20:00] connection. We've got to figure out a way to bring these families together. It's so interesting. Like there's, I, I have so many friends who. I met, um, whose losses were around the same time as mine, like 15, 16, 17, 20 years ago.
Um, and we're all mostly doing really well, but here we are all these years later and there are sometimes when we feel a little bit forgotten about, like, oh, they're good, they're so far out, they're totally fine, and they're not wrong. We are totally fine and. We've got other life circumstances that are happening.
We've got children going off to college. We've got some, you know, it's, it's called, um, recycled grief. You know, you go through these other big milestones in life and stuff from the past comes right back up and it hits you in the face when you're least expecting it. And so I think regardless of where we are in the journey, whether we're 20, 30, 40 years out, or this just [00:21:00] happened last week.
Um, you know, it's so important to make sure that these families know that they are never alone, they are not forgotten, and there will always be somebody there to connect with, to give them a resource, to be a, a listening ear and to say the name of their person that they lost.
Liz: Mm-hmm. I love that. I mean. I just, you know, lost my mom a few years ago.
Not, not to, um, but I feel like just so many things you're saying really resonate with me. Um, what, how do you, you know, how do you create those spaces? What kind of events do you all do? To, to create that connection and to, to allow people to remember. And
Amy Dozier: for a long time, even before I came on to the foundation, um, they were doing kind of the same systematic events every single year.
There was a football game, there were baseball games, um, there were horse races. There were, [00:22:00] you know, just kind of the same things every year. And they were amazing like that. If, if it's not broken, don't fix it. Um. And it's also true that as the only survivor on the team, I had an insight that maybe they didn't quite have.
And that is, um, you know, the needs are always changing. Mm-hmm. Um, this landscape is changing. You know, the, the way we talk about war and kind of where we are now in all of that has changed drastically over the last 10 years, five years. Um. And so it's really important to me again, to, to be able to use my platform, um, to reach out.
To others who want to, to offer something. Um, it, let me back up. It's important for me to stay connected to the survivors. It's important for me to understand what are they going through, what's happening in their community, what conversations are happening around the [00:23:00] country? Where, where are the gaps and how can we fill them on the other side?
It's really important for me to go and find the people who have capacity to give in any, in any realm, whether they can give their time, their talent, their treasure, you know, what have you. Um, there are a lot of really, grateful Americans that have experiences that they would love to offer, and they just don't know how to reach the families.
Like, oh, we, we, we would love to get more involved. Um, we have this thing, um, so like right now I've got families getting ready to take a boat cruise, um, and some of the little boys are gonna go fishing with some men mentors. I mean, how, how cool is that? Sure. So it really just. If you want it, I'm probably gonna make it happen for you.
So we do. That's amazing. Lots of, lots of different kinds of events. Mm-hmm.
Bill: You said horse riding? Yeah. I see you got some kind of cowboy award. Are you roping? [00:24:00] Whatcha doing?
Amy Dozier: Okay. That came out of left field. That was, you
Bill: gotta tell people what it is.
Amy Dozier: Okay. This is the coolest thing ever. Yeah. So quick backstory, I'll try to give you the Reader's Digest version.
So back in maybe 2000 3 0 4, when we were going into Afghanistan, there were some guys going in on horseback, just like old, like total old school, got on their horses. I think there were 12 of them. They rode their horses. And there, I think there was something about like taking some supplies to the units and building morale.
I, I don't really know the full story. All I know is that there was this incredible movie made about them called 12 Strong, fast Forward, 12 Strong. Those guys got together a little later. I. Very dedicated bourbon drinkers and they decided, guess what? We're gonna make bourbon and we're gonna make it all patriotic.
So they [00:25:00] created horse soldier bourbon. 'cause they were known as the horse soldiers. So there's this, these 12 guys in Afghanistan. A few years later, there's this movie made out for them 12 strong few years after that. They create horse soldier bourbon. Well, horse Soldier Bourbon has partnered up with PBR Professional Bull Riders of America.
I think that's what it is. Um, and they essentially just go around the country, um, looking for people who I guess, kind of embody the spirit of a soldier, um, in the work that they do in their community. And they find somebody in each community that they go to, you know, they put on a show and then Horse Soldier Bourbon sponsors it and they bring people out and it's a big time.
So I was recently selected as, um, the North Carolina recipient for the the Be Cowboy Award for Horse Soldier Bourbon. And. PBR and I went to the, the show. It's not a, [00:26:00] the rodeo. Oh, it's not a rodeo because they're not, there was no lasso. They weren't, it was like, it was the one with like, um, where they get on the bull and they have to stay on for eight seconds and they try and the bull goes nuts and it just bucks everywhere and people fall.
I mean, talk about sacrifice in your body there. No way. Mm-hmm.
Liz: I was gonna say, they, they, it was get you up there, were you one of the clowns
Amy Dozier: and I was not a clown time around, but I, I told him maybe next time I said, look, if you need. A clown or a, a national anthem singer. I'm your girl, either one. Um, and we exchanged numbers and it was just, it was such a big time and it was, you know, again, horribly uncomfortable being underneath the spotlight.
'cause I, I just feel, I, it's not that I feel unworthy, it's just that I'm not the only one doing this. I, I certainly don't do this alone. Do I have a lot of ideas that I execute and I, I come up and execute with by myself. Yeah. But. [00:27:00] I certainly don't do this work alone. Um, and I, I really do think that, you know, if I'm so grateful that they see my, like, I, I feel seen that was how I walked away that night.
Like, wow, that was super uncomfortable and I feel so seen. Which is two things can be true at the same time, right? Sure. Yeah. Yeah, it was so nice to be seen for the work that I do. 'cause I'm so passionate about it. It is my calling for, for real. Um, but I'm not the only one doing this. And it, I, it really is for everyone.
Like every You're a cowboy. You're a cowboy. Yes. I mean, we're all cowboys, right?
Bill: We try to be, don't we? Right. But you were recognized by a group of. Individual soldiers, Uhhuh, that's gotta be, that in itself is cool. And I'm just wondering how many cases of bourbon you got?
Amy Dozier: Oh my gosh. Well, I didn't get a case, but I did get the coolest bottle.
It's one of 12. Who? And the label, the metal label on the outside was actually curated [00:28:00] from a piece of metal from the World Trade Center. Oh wow. Oh wow. And I was the first woman to receive this award as well. Congratulations. That's awesome. Yeah. Pretty, pretty cool. Those guys are, am I allowed to cuss on here?
These guys are pretty
Liz: badass. Okay. We can say that. I was like, wait, what level? They're, that's pg. They're pretty, yeah, that's probably PG now.
Amy Dozier: Yeah. They're awesome. They were so, I mean, they went to war. Who, like, I, I, I couldn't, I'm just, I, I have found that I'm a pretty resilient person and, and I have a lot of courage to, to take risks, but Wow.
To be part of that 1% that would. Put on that uniform and take that oath. I, I don't know that I'm that strong.
Bill: I think most Americans admire that, respect that.
Amy Dozier: Yeah.
Bill: And, and gold star families. Yeah. Those blue star fa you know, there's certain levels, but they all Yeah. Are embraced by their, not only their neighbors, but Americans in general, I [00:29:00] think.
Really appreciate the service. Yeah. Which is cool because it has always been the case, you know?
Amy Dozier: Yeah,
Bill: yeah.
Amy Dozier: Oh, that's so true. Yeah. So very true. And it's interesting that you say that because a lot of what, what I work with, um, are those g the Global War on Terror families. You know, I, I serve a lot of nine 11, post nine 11 families.
Mm-hmm. Um, I, it's. It is a little sad that the majority of organizations out there I think do tend to lean towards those post nine 11 families. 'cause that's the one that's like right in our face. Um, and a lot of the, the sponsorships and the donations that go to their, those organizations are restricted for those families, um, which is great for our families.
And there are still other surviving families from different eras that deserve everything that we have access to. And so again, another one of those things that I like to use my platform for, to [00:30:00] educate some of these organizations like, hey. I want you to know that I was just with a Vietnam era fa family, and they're really struggling, and this isn't all for me.
Like we need to figure out how to get what's coming to me over to them. Um, and I, I feel really blessed that I can have those conversations with people.
Liz: I mean, your passion is like radiating, like, um, how do you keep that up? How, how do you, I mean.
Amy Dozier: Um, I, I think learning to become really self-aware and learning when I need breaks, learning when I need to pour a little more into myself and not being afraid to do that.
Um, getting outside, moving my body in nature every single day. Um, I've learned just the power of finding gratitude and just the littlest things I was. On a walk with a girlfriend of mine recently. We were power [00:31:00] walking and she was just going a mile a minute just talking, talking, talking, talking and all the great things that she's thankful for and, and I said, you know, just stop right now.
Just listen. She was like, what am I listening to? Like the tree, the trees. Just, just listen, just like be still for, for one minute and just listen to what the earth is trying to tell you. And I'm not like one of those like woo woo people who's like, no, you know, but, but truly just like really be still and just listen.
Just let that intuition guide you into your next step and it just changes the way that you take those next steps. Um, she thought I was nuts, but then I think she started to get it. It just, I think when you stop and you just don't allow the noise of the world infiltrate your little bubble of peace, [00:32:00] um, and you just hold onto it and find that gratitude for that, that little bit of peace that you might have that one day, maybe it's a really horrible day, but there is something in it.
There is something in every day. Um, I think if we can just pause and, and look for it. And say thank you, and just keep moving on. I think it just, it, it resets and it reframes kind of the way that you see things and how you move and how you show up for other people.
Bill: I agree. There's a lot of noise. It's hard to hear your inner thoughts.
Yeah. By time.
Amy Dozier: Yeah.
Bill: Yeah, yeah.
Liz: What I mean, I'd love to ask you for, I mean, you're. You seem like a grief expert. So even, um, you know, for someone like me, I'm not a Gold Star member, but, you know, are there any other words of wisdom for people just grieving or anything that you've learned or big takeaways?
Amy Dozier: Yeah. Um, number one, hope is [00:33:00] always available. It is always available. I, it takes a lot of courage to reach out to someone, um, to ask for help. Um, but if you ever needed it, um, there's, there's always hope, there's always help available. Um, life is messy and it is so beautiful. Again, when you take the time to find that meaning to connect with others and just be real in that grief that you experience.
Um, I think it's. It's valuable to not discount the non-deaf losses. Like when, when John died, you know, again, I had him for less than three years. We didn't even really get started as a family. He was gone. He was fighting a war, he was training and then fighting a war, and I was raising a baby. We never really got started.
Not only did I lose my husband, I [00:34:00] felt. The secondary loss for my child. I felt the grief of a dream that just would never come true. I, I lost pieces of myself, um, that I grieve, that I, I don't know that I'll ever get back. I'm, I've. Grown into other pieces of myself that I love. And God, that was a long process.
Um, therapy is awesome. Um, but it's, see that sounds like a good podcast
Bill: right there, doesn't it? Yeah. Let's
Amy Dozier: do another show. Go ahead. Uh, yeah, it's just, those are some words of wisdom. Just hope is available. It takes courage to, to ask for help and, and you have it. And don't discount those non-deaf losses, the losses of the dream, the secondary, tertiary losses that come from the death of a person.
I mean, it's just give yourself time. It's okay to [00:35:00] grieve those things that other people might see as silly or mundane, but they are very real. And if you don't, if you don't look at it in the face and deal with it, it, it's just gonna follow you around.
Bill: Words of wisdom. Mm-hmm. What if there are people watching, listening right now?
They'd like some information, places to go. Do you? Yeah. Do you have, uh, a website, something that they can, yeah, absolutely.
Amy Dozier: Yeah. So to learn more about us at the Woody Williams Foundation, people can go to Woody williams.org, www.woodywilliams.org. Um, they can also reach out to me through my email, which is Amy dot dozier, so a m y.do ZIE r@woodywilliams.org.
Um, I'm happy to connect to any, any resource. Um, if they are a family of a fallen surface member, I would invite them to. To join us at an event. Um, if it's somebody who would like to just support us, please reach out. [00:36:00] Um, let's, I mean, healing happens in community. We we're here to do this together.
Bill: Awesome.
Liz: Yeah.
Bill: Yeah. So, so appreciate you taking time. Yeah.
Liz: Thank you for coming on the podcast. Of course. Thank you for having me. You bet.
Liz: Stephanie's joining us for our Flags of Change segment today. Thanks for being on Stephanie.
Stefanie: Absolutely.
Liz: So, um. In this segment we're exploring how, uh, powerful symbols are often born from the bold vision of just one individual. And today we're talking about the gold star and blue star service flags.
Stefanie: Yeah.
Liz: So, um, Stephanie is our carrot top industries call center supervisor.
Um, so can you tell us how the blue star and gold star flags came to be? Who was behind their creation?
Stefanie: Yeah, so in 1917, in the middle of World War I, [00:37:00] um, captain Robert l. Quasar, um, of the Ohio National Guard created this as a tribute to his two sons who were serving overseas. And it just, it caught on like wildfire, like immediately. People started posting and making them themselves. Um, it's a red border with a white background, and then you've got a blue star for each member of your family who is currently serving in, um, in an international conflict.
Um. Then not too terribly long after that, there then developed the Gold Star option, or not option, but the, the gold star piece of it, which was when somebody was lost in service and conflict, you actually sewed a little, a gold star on top of that blue star to show that that person is actually. Made the ultimate sacrifice and is no longer with us.
Um, so that was kind of the big, it started with him and it just, it spread and people started doing it. Um, president Wilson first popularized the, [00:38:00] popularized the term gold star mother. Um, right around that same time. Noting that the Gold Star was a public display of the price of liberty. Um, and then like I said, a lot of times people were hand stitching all of that hope and love and emotion into those stars making it themselves.
Um, so yeah.
Bill: Well, can, can I ask then, uh, Stephanie, um, why do, why do you think they became so instantly popular? I mean, the, they were embraced by families and Americans all over the country and even to this day, right? You, you see a flag. You instantly know, and I think you have emotion. Why? Why do they become so powerful?
Stefanie: Absolutely. I think part of it is just that sense of there's so little you can do when you've got somebody serving overseas, and this is just one thing. It's that instant sense of community. It's that instant sense of, I've got this person, they are doing this [00:39:00] amazing thing for all of us, and it, it just, it shows that.
Instant sense of belonging into that organization and solidarity for somebody that you really can't do a whole lot for at that point. And I think that's why it, it caught on so quickly. It was, it's quick, it's simple, and it leaves a lasting impact for sure.
Liz: Were just talking to Amy from the Woody Williams Foundation and she was saying, you know, for Gold Star families, there's a lot of foundations out there that kind of support the poor. Post nine 11, um, uh, um. But, uh, I, I'd love for you to talk to us a little bit about, um, something that, that we did last year where we, um, worked with a 99-year-old veteran who actually just turned a hundred.
Right. Um, can you tell us a little bit about that, that story and, and how we, um, supported him?
Stefanie: Yeah, absolutely. So we try to, um, we knew that we wanted to do [00:40:00] something for Veterans Day. We wanted to do something with a veteran in our area. And so we started by reaching out to some of our local veterans organizations. One of those groups we reached out to was the Alamance County Veterans Association, and they recommended Mr.
Holt to us. Um, we went out, we had a crew of. I don't know. I wanna say 10 ish employees that went out. Um, we did some yard work. They were blowing leaves there. We painted front and back steps. Um, we had somebody up on the roof with a leaf blower, cleaning out the gutters, like just doing everything we could to get their house just in a good condition.
It was already well. Up kept, but just to kind of spruce it up and keep it nice for them. Um, and that relationship has lasted moving forward from that. I know Mr. Holt was the first, uh, the first guest on the podcast, or second guest on the podcast. Um, but we, you know, we brought him in for that. I got to sit at his home with him while he was recording and help him [00:41:00] record that.
And it just, he's, I know you've touched base with him since then and he's just a really cool. Veteran got, has all kinds of stories served in both Europe and Asia during, uh, world War ii. Um, and just, I mean, his wife's amazing. Just lots of, lots of amazing stories there, and it was a real honor to get to just give a little something back to him.
Mm-hmm.
Bill: That's the amazing thing about these guys, especially from, excuse me, the uh, the earlier wars. They go to war, their life's turned upside down and they come home. When they pick up the shovel and start digging again, there was, uh, life goes on. Let me ask you, um, what do you hope people will feel when they drive by one of these flags that may be posted outside one of their neighbor's homes?
Stefanie: Yeah. Um, I think ideally it's just a moment of that's somebody who is going through something that is somebody who [00:42:00] is, that they've got. A spouse, a child, a brother or somebody, a sister, somebody who is overseas serving right now, that's somebody that, you know, maybe we can reach out and bring 'em a casserole or, you know, even if it's not that, just that, that sense of community or if, you know, maybe you're also have somebody who's serving and can close that gap and just reach out that hand, um, that. Understanding that, that group mentality of we've got this in common, and even if you don't have somebody in your family who's serving, everybody knows somebody who is or has been serving my husband, served, my father, served, my uncles, all served, like, you know, we've all got that connection to somebody.
And, um, just having that sense of. We're all in this together. Whether we agree, we don't agree, we've got different views, doesn't matter. That's somebody who is out there putting their life on the line and that's what [00:43:00] matters. And their family's still here.
Liz: Yeah. That's great. Well, that's awesome. Yeah, it really is. Thank you, Stephanie. Thank you Stephanie. I, I wanted to say, um, I've always wanted to say this. I think Stephanie's, um, uh, avid listener of the podcast, so longtime listener, first time caller. Um,
Stefanie: right.
Liz: thank you so much for joining us, Stephanie. We really, um.
Really appreciate it.
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