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Get ready to unlock the secrets of balancing masculine and feminine energy on our podcast episode "Perfect Mode" this Sunday at 12 p.m. CDT with special guests Andena Sananda Kumara and Loretta Sharingroup. Don't miss this life-changing discussion that will have you redefining your existence!
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Creators & Guests
Host
Guest
Andena Sananda Kumara
Andena Sananda Kumara (aka Angela Anderson) lives her truth, Soul Integrated, as an Embodied and Heart-Centered Conduit of Divine Frequency; activating, within those in resonance, a many-fold experience, sparking awareness of the Innate Truth of the Human Collective Beingness as Extension, or Fractal, of the Divine Source of ALL Creation in Manifest Physical Form. To this end, Andena serves as Quantum Energy Alchemist for all that is of The Energy of Oneness, sharing wisdom on the open subjects of Freedom, Love, and Oneness as Realized by the Authentically Embodied Soul on Earth.
What is Perfect Mode?
"Perfect Mode" invites you on a transformative odyssey to discover the extraordinary within the ordinary. Hosted by the dynamic duo of JClay, a rapper with a spiritual twist, and Troy Washington, a realtor with a mindset of abundance, this podcast is a sanctuary for those seeking to elevate their existence. Together, they explore the realms of personal growth, mental clarity, and spiritual enlightenment, offering unfiltered insights into living a life unchained by societal expectations. Tune in for your weekly dose of inspiration and embark on a journey to align with your highest self.
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations.
JClay:I'm Jay Clay, rapper, and spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:Welcome to perfect mode. Welcome to perfect mode.
Troy Washington:First off, let me start by telling y'all that we love y'all. We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere sharing our thoughts, hopefully, and helping you realize that you are perfect. And the reason why I can unapologetically say that is because I know that you are 1 on 1 numero uno. You cannot be replicated, duplicated. And the only reason, and I mean the only reason, that you would think that you are not personally looking at this person on the side of you or that person right there and saying, I'm not them.
Troy Washington:But guess what? You are you, and that's all you need.
Troy Washington:And, of course, it's yours truly.
Troy Washington:You're you, and that's all you need. And, of course, it's yours truly, Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher, and we're about to get up. We got some special guests, and I'm I'm a tell you who they are in just a second, but I gotta I gotta I have to read this this topic real quick. Masculine and feminine energy, a dance of balance, not division.
Troy Washington:So you see how we got 2 up top and 2 at the the balance. We we trying to work it all the way around. And, of course, you know, I have my girl Loretta Sharon Group in today, we also got Andona Camara. What up, y'all? How y'all doing today?
Loretta Sharingroup:We're doing well. I'm doing well. Andona, the platform doesn't like my laptop either. So, honey, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here.
Loretta Sharingroup:We gotta keep the balance.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right. I'm I'm just trying to get settled. You know, I had some things running, so I'm just happy to be present now in the space. Right? Yeah.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Excited about the conversation. Looking forward to seeing where this conversation goes. Yeah.
JClay:Right. And what was funny about that too real quick is, like, I I was going to kind of kind of pre have some questions just to kind of guide it but because we're trying to get everything set up, it just didn't happen. So that means it wasn't meant to be that way. It's just got to happen organically. But I will say that the reason I wanted to bring us all together is because what was my bad first?
JClay:Let me say, shout out to Jeff, our Patriot. I appreciate you click the link if I want to support all that. Okay, good. Now, the reason I want to assemble this all together is the main thing is in the collective of energy, sometimes it's a us versus them mentality, like men versus women or in relationships, it's like, men need to do more of this or women need to do this, Like, know your role, know your place, all of this. And it's always, like, combative, and it's it's never supportive.
JClay:And I kinda wanna talk about both ends, like, the highs of that, the ends of that, what causes it. It's just everything that comes to mind when it when it comes to the the balance of, masculine and feminine energies. Yes.
Troy Washington:No. I mean, I I love I I always love the picking a part of life. That's just me. You know what I mean? Because I'm picking myself apart all day every day because I'm always trying to find the most loving pathway that I possibly can find.
Troy Washington:And that's, you know, I I I love the thought process of it, Jay. That's what I will tell you.
Andena Sananda Kumara:And I
Troy Washington:guess, kinda, to kick start this and, I guess, you know, bring everybody together in a sense. So so number 1, I I love the fact that JK said the master and and he had taken over perfect mode. And the reality of it is it had it's it's just me and him. And we've had some, women guest on, both of y'all as well as a couple of others that we saw the shift in ourselves while it was happening and after the fact. So, again, just grateful for y'all to be here.
Troy Washington:But again, I guess I guess my first question would be for you, Jay, to start the conversation. Masculine energy, what does that really mean, or what does it look like? Him and the energy, what does that mean? What does it look like
Andena Sananda Kumara:in pertaining
Troy Washington:to pertaining to relationships as well as friendships and, you know, how we can kind of balance that? Yeah.
JClay:I'll speak briefly because that's a I mean, even that is I'm kinda it's kinda re I'm kinda redefining masculine right now to just to be honest. Because it like, I can say when I was younger, I thought it was one thing. I thought it was toughness. I thought it was, you know, how hard you are. I thought it was, like, you know, how how much you can fight, how how how much you can dominate and and and win.
JClay:But, like, I'm I've learned that strength isn't really about force. It's more about being having the strength to to be who you are. Like, if you see the world a certain way, being able to sit in that energy, even if nobody else is and saying, hey, this is this is me. This is I'm I'm sitting in this this energy, whether whether it's masculine or feminine, but I but I think the masculine side of that is is having the strength to to be true to yourself. And I I I'll pass it to Loretta.
JClay:Like like, that same oh, go ahead, Troy.
Troy Washington:Just real quick, and I and I I do want Loretta to grab it, but I and and the reason why I specifically ask it is because there have been plenty occasions where I was sitting back, and I I either was looking on Facebook talking to somebody or just somewhere in public, and and and you will hear a woman say, well, I'm I'm I'm, you know, I'm in my masculine energy now, or you might hear a man say, I'm tapping into my feminine energy now, And so because you have these 2 different groups claiming the opposite sexist energy in a sense, doesn't wrong. And that's the reason why I asked you what does that really mean? What does it look like? But, you know, Loretta, you can go ahead and jump in as well.
Loretta Sharingroup:That's a good que that's I'm a bounce it to end on that. I say what I gotta say because I'm pretty the expert on this or whatever. So the perception of feminine energy is nurturing, softness, from spiritual texts. I've seen, more oneness, the all right, the masculine energy I've read to mean, doing this, right, action, maybe even setting boundaries. I have associated with masculine energy, but I'm glad you, and I'm gonna give it to Andona, I'm glad you talked about what you've observed, Troy, because that's a lot about what I would like to talk about today is how the collective is engaging with one another, especially in these podcasts.
Loretta Sharingroup:So what do you say, Andona?
Andena Sananda Kumara:Well, I I think we get tripped up because we associate masculinity and femininity with gender, and it goes beyond gender. Right? It's not it's not relegated to gender. We have preconceived notions about how we define these labels, And we have a tendency, human the human collective, the human being, the human mind has a tendency to wanna conform itself to its definition of gender roles. Mhmm.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? And it it extends beyond that. It's not about gender roles. It's about and it's at its basis at its basis level, femininity and masculinity is not about gender at all. It's about the creative side, the infinite potential, which is the feminine, which is the unbounded infinite potential versus the direction of that infinite potential, how that infinite potential is realized.
Andena Sananda Kumara:And that's the masculine, aspect of that. It's it's about those two things. And in in honoring what that is at its most basis level, it's it's it comes down to us as humans accepting the fact that we are containing of both energies. Mhmm. We have both energies, and the and the and the gist is the ultimate goal is to bring those 2 into harmonic balance, Into into harmony with one another so that they can collaborate.
Andena Sananda Kumara:We are we have a combination of all of it. So to see yourself as one thing is to negate the other, which keeps you in separation. And the call of the moment is to bring us back into a state of unified wholeness. That can happen until you accept the fact that you are both energies. You have both energies.
Andena Sananda Kumara:You you are the embodiment of both to to yeah. It is and and and it's most basis level. Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:That's fine.
Troy Washington:So I I'll jump in and and I and I'll say this as well. Right? So the reason why, in my personal opinion, that we have the the, I I guess, the gap is because we literally name it feminine energy and masculinity. Masculinity. Like, so to to for anybody processing it, you're automatically when you when you hear feminine, you automatically think of a woman.
Troy Washington:Or when you hear masculine, you literally automatically think of a man. So the the I guess the description of them is what kinda leads people down the pathway of separating, which we shouldn't do, which is what you're saying. Like, we we possess both. I mean, I I wanna say that all instances like this, and I'm saying this because I'm a parent. There are some times where I am in in a sense you would think if you will look at me and you were able to describe what masculine energy is, the way that I would handle my kids, you'll be like, oh, that's that masculine energy because he's you you're right.
Troy Washington:Giving direction saying, you know, bottle up those emotions and point them in this direction to get you where you're trying to get to so that way you can accomplish whatever goal. But then in that same tense, you might see me say, oh, man. It's okay. Let me give you
Andena Sananda Kumara:a hug.
Troy Washington:You know, we got your bag, and then that's when the nurturing comes out. And so in any given instance, I'm gonna possess both. And then I would ask you, have you ever seen a dad a single dad that only has daughters? Like, you you you see the dad doing the cheerleading stuff, and and it's all of these things that's tied into it. So I love and don't know, definition when you talk about the infinite, the the infiniteness of it all and then the direction on how to, I guess, point it where it needs to go or help get it to where it needs to go.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Loretta. I know you had something as well.
Loretta Sharingroup:Oh, I can help you. That was it for me.
Troy Washington:Okay. Go ahead, Jay. Well, I
JClay:want to add. So, like okay. Take somebody like like me in in in my middle of growing up where, like, I'm I'm learning to be masculine. I'm learning to be a quote unquote man man. And, like, to hear that it's femininity in all of us, Like that part of me is like, I don't got no familiarity to me.
JClay:I don't cry. I'm a man. But I remember when I okay, when I started stepping into like more spiritual awareness and letting go of old ideas and stuff times did happen. We're like, Tears like what I couldn't explain it. It was almost like something was wrong with me.
JClay:Like, what is wrong with me? Why am I watching this movie? And now I'm just bawling like this. This is dumb. I'm a I'm a man.
JClay:I'm not supposed to cry like all of this and because of that because of that separation of me, I guess choosing a side and developing it. It caused me to not want to accept the other in myself, but then be attracted to those who embody that separation. So so I so I guess to take this to the to another place first. How can you begin to see it in yourself or be okay with the idea of integrating the other if you're so conditioned on one side of it?
Troy Washington:I'll say this and I'll let Adam go. I think that it it all boils back down to the beginning of the conversation. You said when I was growing up, I was learning how to be masculine. And in that alone, it's a definition that you've already determined not only did you determine the people that are helping you learn how to be this are in agreeance with it. So there's no there's no stepping away from what that masculinity really means.
Troy Washington:And again, it's something that I kind of pay real close attention to because I never want my kids to be as hard as me in a sense. You get what I'm saying? Like, I never want them to feel like this is the way that it has to to be. And so I think that, thought process is not learning how to be masculine, but learning how to be a human being. And, again, just to give you a a a a direct example is again, I don't want my my sons to play with dolls.
Troy Washington:I just don't. I mean, that's just kinda how and I know this is this is not necessarily defining what feminine and masculine is, but it's just the way that we look at it. Right? But the feminine energy in me says, don't be judgmental. It's just a toy.
Troy Washington:Let him have fun. Let him create and see where it goes from there. And I think that's where, again, when you start to take those definitions and describing what it really looks like, that's when you get to have that openness that you're talking about. And, Donna, you can go ahead and jump in.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Well, I was I was just thinking, you know, when kids come into the world, they come into the world open. Right? They come into the world already already knowing. Really, all they need is guidance to understand how the world works. They don't need they don't need a definition or an overlay of what they must be and what they must become.
Andena Sananda Kumara:And I believe that many of us, Jay, you talked about learning to be a man or learning your masculinity. Right? That's a condition, And that's something that takes recognition. So the only way to peel yourself out of that is to unlearn the learned, recognize the imbalance between the 2, to to really accept and take responsibility for the who and the what what you are not. Right?
Andena Sananda Kumara:What what is in alignment with the soul and what is not in alignment with the soul? Because you if you are negating, I said said it before, if you're negating any part of yourself, you're keeping yourself in separation. The only way to bring yourself into a state of holdings is the recognition of it, And it's not relegated again to gender roles.
Loretta Sharingroup:Mhmm.
Andena Sananda Kumara:It's not. It's about honoring your intuition, that into it intuitive side of you, that inner knowing side of you and allowing that to put you in alignment with the soul whereby the inspiration can come. And as that inspiration come, it is guided in direction and into manifestation through that masculine energy, which is the energy of action. So it at some level, it takes a a a willingness to unpack the definitions or to redefine what you believe those energies are. So if if saying masculine and feminine puts you in the mindset of gender roles, let that go.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Be willing to let go let go of that verbiage and align yourself to something that's more in line with the truth of who and what you are. But then that goes back to the point that you gotta be willing to sit with yourself and getting get clued into who and what you are because you are not what you've been conditioned to believe that you are. Right? On a societal level.
Troy Washington:No. No. I and I and I will I wanna jump in. I wanna say I 100% agree with you, stripping those definitions. But I will also say this though that it's easier said than done.
Troy Washington:And and again, you know, me going back to the the the examples that I mentioned in the beginning where I've heard plenty of women say that I'm in my masculine energy and vice versa. Right? And the funniest thing about them saying it is I know exactly what they're meaning. I know exactly the sentiment that they're trying to portray. But even in them saying it, they're literally saying that in where they've they still are tied to the definition.
Troy Washington:I'm about to act like a man or I'm about to act like a woman. And it's and and and they're saying it in a sense where where it's necessary right now, meaning I have to get outside of myself to do what's necessary when it's literally just you. And that's the reason why I say it's hard to do because even in the mindset of saying it, still, it's it's so hard to separate yourself from that that you've deemed to be the truth for for for so long. But and don't as 100%. Like, stripping yourself of these definitions is definitely the key.
Troy Washington:Mhmm.
JClay:So well, I guess I guess to to Loretta then, just piggybacking off that. What is the benefit of it? Because again, some people might be okay in their ways. Like, this is what is all I this is how I was raised. This is how I'm a stay.
JClay:This is how I'm a always be. If you're not like this, you crazy. Like, it's like speaking to those individuals, is there a benefit to to the unlearning of this condition?
Loretta Sharingroup:Absolutely. And, one of the notes that I have written down and piggybacking on what Andona was talking about, I've taught this on my platform. So, Troy, you talked about with your sons and playing with the dolls, right? There has been an extreme version of that conditioning where many times I'm sure we've heard with our nieces and nephews or, you know, where maybe somebody in the family, their kid is crying and we hear the man say, man don't cry. Stop crying, stop crying boy, dry that up.
Loretta Sharingroup:And so a result of that is a lot of women have found that the men in their life are emotionally unavailable, completely disattached with their emotional body, right? It impacts the marriage, it impacts their relationship with the kids and impacts their worldview. And so, Jay, you were talking about what's the benefit. The benefit is, like, Andona was saying, accessing all of who we are, not shutting down any part of who we are and who our true how how they express themselves. We do not know the heavy impact that that has when you're literally telling a child you cannot cry.
Loretta Sharingroup:You are a man. We don't know how how how far and wide that that goes. I know Troy, you're ready to speak and and don't.
Troy Washington:Bam. Yeah. And then oh, go ahead. Go ahead.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Yeah. Let let let me speak to that one. Because because, really, we have we get hung up on the physical. Right? We think that we are just physical beings.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? But you're more than a physical being. You have an emotional body, you have a mental body, and and all of these things have aspects that need to be expressed. But speaking of from the perspective of the male perspective or just in that masculine energy where where you would say, I would say that extreme masculine energy that would say, well, I don't wanna feel, or it's not acceptable to feel. Well, well, you have to feel.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? That's what it means to be human. Humans are emotional beings by nature. Right? That's part of the human experience is to sit within your physical body, ground within your physical body.
Andena Sananda Kumara:That that's part of the grounding process and connecting with your physicality or your embodiment within this physical dimension or reality, that's part of the process. That's part of the sauce. That's part of what it is to be human is to connect with your emotions. And the only way to, move and excel or evolve is to allow things to be felt. Because to stop them in the emotional body is to create traumatic blocks or energetic blocks, things that things that you can't move beyond.
Andena Sananda Kumara:This is why you have men who are unable to, connect emotionally because they've stopped the processing or stopped the feeling of emotions out in the emotional body. They they are just stagnant blocks sitting there, not not not being allowed to be felt or move through the vessel. You are a conduit for energy. Right? And that energy needs to move through you.
Andena Sananda Kumara:So being able to connect on that level, but things are meant to be felt. We have to stop as a society teaching men that it's not acceptable to feel or it's not acceptable to process your emotions. It is. We just have to create the space and the safety for them to have the opportunity to do so and not look down on it as a sign of weakness for a man to do that or to operate in that way. As women who've been so conditioned into masculinity and to embody in that masculinity have to come to terms with the fact that it's not acceptable to look down on a man and say that he's not strong if he has the ability to express his emotions.
Andena Sananda Kumara:It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of being human to live, to to move, and to allow your emotions to be felt. Right?
Troy Washington:Look. I'm I'm gonna tell you that and, again, you you're you're you're dead spot on, hitting the nail on the head and coming with the facts on facts on facts. You know, I just like facts on facts on facts all the time, so shout us out. I this is something that I really play pay pay close close attention to because I have 2 boys. I got a 12 year old, and I got a 6 year old.
Troy Washington:And, the funniest part about this out and and and Donald was hitting it was the societal part of it. Right? So you can be at home, and you can say that it's okay to cry. Everything is okay. You know, you can you can put all of these things in a place, but then you got the entire world that a kid is looking at that's telling them that they can't cry whenever they're hurt.
Troy Washington:Like, literally, there have been plenty of times where I had to have gone to my son, my oldest for sure, and I can tell that something was eating him up, whether it be from the game or from something that happened, and I had to let him know. You know, it's a hype if you cry, bro. Like, you can go ahead and just do that much. And so, you know, again, I I don't I don't think that there's no absolute 100% right way or wrong way to necessarily navigate this, but I'm gonna use my 6 year old as the example. I have a rope.
Troy Washington:You can cry if something happened to you. And that's just kinda how it goes. Like and the reason why I'm specific about that is because he would cry just because his big brother, I don't know, looked at him funny or something. Right? You know what I mean?
Troy Washington:And I'm like, look. You cannot worry about what other people looking like. But if something happened to you literally, go ahead and let them tears out. But society, even outside of the home, dictates the way that young men or men act in general, and, it's definitely something that, you know, the shaming has to stop. I can tell you that, and you hit that you hit that.
Troy Washington:So, yeah. Jay, you got it.
JClay:Yeah. So I want to ask more about what, Madonna said about, like, there's a physical body and there's an emotional body And I I wonder, like, is this limiting to say, but masculine is more associated with the feminine I mean, with with the physical and feminine is more associated with the emotional or
Andena Sananda Kumara:Well, let's well, okay. So let's let's just take a man in general, like, on a physical body level. Right? Let's take it to the physical body level, right? Men express through their emotions, it's outward facing, the penis is outward facing, Right?
Andena Sananda Kumara:The vagina is inward facing. Men connect their emotions to their, root chakra in in essence. Right? Women connect more in in in their emotions from the heart. So men are more moved by what they see physically, outward facing.
Andena Sananda Kumara:The body is reflective of the way that we have a tendency to operate head as in a way that the the, the energies have a tendency to express. Women are more inward facing, so you connect more with the emotions from that heart space. So women are more moved by what strikes up an emotional response. Men are more moved by what strikes up, something from the external world or from the physical, senses, if that makes sense. Yeah.
Andena Sananda Kumara:But I think I think it goes even further than allowing yourself to be moved by what society says. At some level, we have to connect with what it means to be authentically us and to operate within that authentic expression to to really allow your kids to understand that it's okay to express as themselves. There is no standard to be adhered to, to realize that you've come into the world to be uniquely you. And it's okay. However, that fleshes itself out because no one else is you.
Andena Sananda Kumara:No one else can validate you. You are validated in and of yourself and complete in and of yourself by being, and that's it. Right? There is no other caveat that needs to be met. You are whole and complete in and of yourself.
Andena Sananda Kumara:There is no standard to be adhered to, and we have to accept that that is the that is the case. It's okay to be you. And however that is expressed, that's that's on you as a choice, as a sovereign as a sovereign soul within this physical reality. You have the ability to express as you are. Right?
Andena Sananda Kumara:And and and be okay with that, not not conforming to what society says. Because, ultimately, it doesn't matter what society thinks. It doesn't matter the opinions of others because nobody can hold you to a standard because nobody is you. Nobody's living life from your perspective, only you are.
Troy Washington:And so this will be my question for you because, again, I'm telling you that you're absolutely 100% right in the way that I personally feel that things should be. What I think that we're what we're talking about is in a perfect world, this is how this would be. Right? Like, be yourself. Be open.
Troy Washington:Don't let anybody determine who you can or what you're capable of because of what they think or how they make you feel. Now the reality of it is we get stained so easily. And what I mean by it is using my kid as an example, you know, my son go to school, they have a dress down day. Right? And then on this dress down day, he ends up dressing down and everybody's dressed up.
Troy Washington:And so everybody points and, like, well, why you dressed down? So 2 years later, on any dress down day, I have to beg my son to dress down because they wear uniforms because he's so moved by the response that people gave him in that in in the on that moment. Mhmm. And and I'll even use myself as an example. I do a radio show, on Tuesdays with my uncle called Dee Dee Ingram show.
Troy Washington:And I still remember we we we do a living room conversation, and you can just talk about whatever you want to. Right? And I still remember the day, and I and and it took a a while for me to change my mind about it, But I remember the day with my auntie, we were just talking, and she was like, don't no man wanna don't no woman wanna talk to no man that mustache is not trimmed up. Right? And she wasn't necessarily stand from a dating standpoint, but she was just literally, like, why you came from your mustache.
Troy Washington:Right? And so in my mind, in that on that day, my mustache wouldn't trim. Right? And so every single time before I decided to go to the show, I made sure I trimmed up my mustache because she imprinted something in me that necessarily wasn't something that I wanted to be imprinted, but it was there. And I wasn't holding on to it from a malicious standpoint or wanting to, hold something over her head.
Troy Washington:Like, this is what you think about me. I literally couldn't get past it myself until one day I was like, do not shave your mustache when you go up there, bro, because your aunt your auntie is not talking about you. And even if she was, she can't mean anything. And I had to be that demonstrative to myself
Andena Sananda Kumara:to
Troy Washington:make me understand. I have to be that demonstrative to my son to be like, your clothes is you know, you know and so I think the the question here is, how do we break the societal pressures out? Because that's though we don't though we know in a perfect world what we want it to be, it's not as easily done said it's done. You know what I mean? So go ahead and, Donna.
Andena Sananda Kumara:It can be easy. Life is There
Troy Washington:you go.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Life might know. Perception. Right? Life is perception, but you have to come to a understanding that everything is a choice. Nothing nothing is happening to you.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Nothing is being imposed on you at at its basis level. You still have choice, and your choice is gonna dictate how you perceive the information that you receive from the outside and how you respond to that. Your response is always a choice. It's not it's not forced. You choose it based on how you perceive the world.
Andena Sananda Kumara:On the other side of that is your choices are based on your beliefs. Your beliefs are dictating what you witness within the world outside of you because nobody is living life from your perspective. Only you are. So your your perception of the world, how you receive the world is dictating how you project the world. Ultimately, it's a feedback loop.
Andena Sananda Kumara:The what what I see and what I feel on the inside, I'm creating this feedback loop within myself. But, ultimately, I'm projecting based on my own thoughts based on my own thoughts. So when you accept that, when you come to the realization of that, you realize that you can change anything outside of you by virtue of your beliefs, changing your beliefs, deciding if is this belief really serving me, or is this belief not serving me? If it's if it's serving up the type of experience that I want, great. But if it's not, then what is this belief based on?
Andena Sananda Kumara:Is it is it based on fact, or is it based on something I've come to believe about myself that isn't true?
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:So question for you. Real real quick, Clay. And this and this is for everybody, actually. And, so this will be my question. I agree 100%.
Troy Washington:For you, myself, Loretta, and Klay, we are easily able to recognize these things now whenever they present themselves to us. We are actually able to adjust. For somebody that's not, what do you say to them or how do we move people along where they able to say, you know what? The way that I'm perceiving this world is not the way that it truly is for me or how I want it to be. How can I move this along so that way I can make whatever adjustment I need in order to make my life exactly what I want it to be?
Troy Washington:And that's for everybody, but and I don't know for you too.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Well well, I'm gonna say I'm gonna say you can't make anybody do anything. Right? That's not your job. It's it's not your responsibility as a being. White workers, we come into this world, and the first thing you think is that I need to change the world.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Well, really, you don't need to change the world. The only thing that you have control over is yourself. Right? So live it. Decide to live it, and it is the thing that will spark somebody else to change when they so choose.
Andena Sananda Kumara:This is what being sovereign is and having free will. You have the ability to step into your choice when it when it suits you, when it is divinely aligned to you. But it is not the task of anyone else to make someone get it. You can't. Right?
Andena Sananda Kumara:Words don't teach. People have to come into realization of what works for them in their own time, and that's called divine timing. Right? The only thing you can do as some as someone who stepped into realization of a different way of being is to align yourself fully with that different way of being, to be the light and allow that light to spark change in others. That's the only thing that changes the world.
Andena Sananda Kumara:It's like a flame. Right? If you are the flame, if you become the flame, then you can ignite somebody who's ready to receive that flame. It only works in that way. You can you can do that.
Andena Sananda Kumara:You can live it, and then you can see the divine and the others that you witness. So the people outside of you, you can see them as simply playing the role that they need to play to to bring them ultimately into alignment with themselves, but you can't do that change for them. You can only serve as the mirror of what it is to walk in your authentically aligned divinity. That's it. That's all you can do.
JClay:Yeah. So so similar to that, I I wanna I wanna kinda switch gears here and talk about relationships because that's that's a big part of the the dance of masculine and feminine energies. And I guess I I I start with you, Loretta. In relationships, like, what what do you see people as to each other and has that changed over time for you? Like, both on, I guess, on the low end and high end of speaking, if that makes sense.
Loretta Sharingroup:And relationships, I think that the collective sees the opposite gender as a resource. What can you do for me kind of thing. And I think that leads to the the contention, right? Because I know a part of this topic was there are whole podcasts. That's why I enjoy what you gentlemen are doing on here.
Loretta Sharingroup:There are whole podcasts that are devoted to the attacking of the opposite gender, right? I've often talked to Jay about how rarely when I hear some of these men say the word female, come on, let's come with it, Troy. I know what you know what I'm talking about. Y'all females and it often follows up with an insult, right? So there's this whole thing that an us against them kinda thing, and I think the root of that comes from seeing that opposite sex as a resource to make you happy, right?
Loretta Sharingroup:Oftentimes, we're we're looking to find happiness in another individual and when they're not able to do that because none of us are, right? We all have to rely on our own life force energy. You have these expectations. You have these, conditions. You have these attachments to this other body, to this other being and when they fall short of that in your mind then it becomes, you know, y'all y'all females, y'all this or even me women, you know, y'all y'all men ain't nothing.
Loretta Sharingroup:We hear it. We hear it. So we're delving into that. We have to, like Andona was talking about, see each other as whole beings, whole beings who are moving through this experience on their own time and their own pace. Too many times people are looking for that, you know, that person that's gonna make everything okay and and that is one of the biggest myths in this dimension that another person can make you happy.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's powerful stuff, right? Yeah.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Looking looking for looking for fulfillment outside of yourself, looking for that, state of completion, seeing seeing your weakness or identifying your own weaknesses, but then looking for the strength to counterbalance that in someone else rather than realizing coming back to self and making that realization in the self. I think until you take responsibility in that way and realize that it it isn't found outside of you. Yes. Right?
Loretta Sharingroup:Yes.
Andena Sananda Kumara:You are whole and complete in and of yourself until you realize that you'll be seeking to find it outside of you, but you won't find it outside of you. It cannot be found.
JClay:With with with that in mind, and I we'll start with Troy. With that, you can't like, there's nothing outside of you that needs to be done for you to be you. Mhmm. What role do you think relationships play since relationships appear to be an outward thing?
Andena Sananda Kumara:They're mirrors. Relationships are your perfect mirror. They they are reflecting you. Life in general, any relationship, whether it's the immediate relationship or it's or if it's the relationship you have with the person at the grocery store. All of it is reflecting you, giving you an opportunity to see you.
Andena Sananda Kumara:So as you see things that triggered you, that's an that's an impetus to become aware. What is it that I'm holding that's attracting this thing to me? Because life is responding to you based on your vibration where where that statement comes in that says people people aren't responding you responding to you based on you. They're basing they're responding to you based on them, how they see the world based on
Troy Washington:who.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah. That's so It's
Andena Sananda Kumara:not it's not ever about you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not taking anything personal.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? Nobody else's nobody else's response to you is personal. It's all based on them and how they see themselves because the way they see themselves is the way they see the world. That's facts. That's facts.
Troy Washington:I I I don't know. I I think that, for myself, what I try in a relationship, what I try to do is I just look at the facts. That's what I kind of always do in all things. And what I mean by that is if I'm not happy or if I'm mad about something or if I'm mad at that person, I look and see why I'm mad at that person or why I'm mad just in general. In most cases, what I mean is, like, if I ended up deciding that I was gonna be happy, everybody around me ended up being happy too.
Troy Washington:If I decided that I was gonna be turned up, everybody around me was turned up too. If I decided that I was gonna go through a phase, like, even whenever there's funerals, If you're around me when there's a funeral, you probably won't be sad. You probably won't cry because I literally I recognize that I set the tone for my life. And so, you know, when I think about, the reflection that you're talking about, Andona, that's kind of how I always flip the script in a
JClay:sense.
Troy Washington:You know, even in a marriage, you know, whenever me and my wife may not have been on the same page, I just changed the page and put us on the same page. And it was just that simple because I got myself on the page that I really wanted to be on. I was 100% sure. Not saying that I was running over the situation, but when I was 100% sure of me and I just cut and I just stopped, everything else kinda just fell into play the way that it I felt like it was it should have. And I think the same thing happens vice versa.
Troy Washington:There have been times where, you know, using my wife as the example, I might not have been in agreeance with her. But I think that I probably wasn't in agreeance with her because she wasn't in agreeance with herself. But the moment when she decided I didn't have any choice but to, you know, jump in line, you know, and it wasn't in a bad way. It just made sense because she was who she was, so I had to be who I was supposed to be in that in in that scenario. So I always just look at the facts, and and when when I see that things are not happening the way I just look at myself and say, well, this is the way that I I have chosen it to be.
Troy Washington:Go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. So So okay. So so with that, so it it sounds like when we all in agreeance that that we are mirrors to each other. So it's like the best example I ever heard was Bashar said, when you look at your reflection, you could be, like, waiting for it to smile, but it will never smile until you smile first. I thought that was a great example.
JClay:Fine. But but okay. So so with that, what does that mean as a whole for relationships if we were to, I guess, usher in more awareness more awareness in relationships as far as it's it's never the other person's problems? Like, does that change the nature of relationships? What were they?
JClay:Does it does it make people not get married in the same sense or where they like, you you get what I'm trying to ask?
Troy Washington:I I think I I get what you're saying. Again, I can only speak on behalf of my situation, right, in my life, in my marriage. Right? And there were times where we've been well, my but we has we have my uncle Didi called it spirited conversations. There have been plenty of times with me and my wife, we've had spirited conversations.
Troy Washington:Right? And then there were times where there could have been spirited conversations, and then I looked at myself and said, why am I so spirited? Mhmm. Why am I so spirited? And the moment I realized that I wasn't supposed to be spirited or I didn't want to be, the spirit decreased all the way around.
Troy Washington:Right? And so, you know, I just I just say that, you know, what you do, and and don't think it's gonna make it's gonna make us have any less relationship. I think it's gonna make us have more stable relationships because the more that I've looked at myself, the more that my wife has looked at herself and the more we've been able to connect with each other. So, you know, that's just kinda how I see it. Go ahead.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Yeah. I I think it creates it it creates more freedom in relationships. Right? More freedom to be yourself, which brings you into a state where you can actually collaborate and operate as a team Yes. Versus versus being at odds with one another because you're looking for somebody to fulfill you in a way that they cannot.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? But you're like, you're looking for them to make something outside of you to make you happy, which in in just saying that alone, you are acquiescing the the power that you owe as a divine being. You are saying, I can't make myself happy. I can't be happy. I can't exist within my happiness as a divine being because I'm waiting on somebody else to do something else for me.
Andena Sananda Kumara:That's acquiescing your power as a divine being.
Troy Washington:That's
Andena Sananda Kumara:right. You don't have to operate in that way, right? You can operate in your wholeness, and you can allow that other person. You can see the the divine in them. Even if there are things that still tick your buttons or trip you up, you can say they are operating tick your buttons or trip you up, you can say they are operating in their divinity.
Andena Sananda Kumara:We are both sovereign beings. And so I can see beyond that and see the divine expression that they are, see the role that they're playing in this moment, and still come together and create a team, a partnership to do what it is that you have to do. And, you know, in essence, you know, in in asking the question, will there be more or less relationships? I think it depends on you as a soul and how you want to evolve. And I will say for myself that marriage has been a great classroom.
Andena Sananda Kumara:It has been like the ultimate classroom because you win somebody 247 and you getting a 247 mirror to yourself, especially when you have children. They become your master teachers because you see yourself all the time all over the place. You have an opportunity to see you and really delve into what are my hangups, because sometimes you can't see those. The ego gets in the way, but it takes that reflection to show you you. It takes that reflection to piss you off so that you can step into realization of what what is true for you and what isn't true for you, but you have to be aware in those cases so that you can take that information and flip the script within yourself.
Andena Sananda Kumara:That's because that's the only place you can make the change. And then as you make the change within yourself, do you see it? Things magically magically change. I'm a testament to that. Like, things magically change.
Andena Sananda Kumara:I'm no longer but I don't I'm no longer up I no longer operate in a state of neediness for my mother's attention. Right? For them to to do certain thing. I don't operate from a state of neediness in any respect because I've honored. I now am able to stand within my power and honor the fact that I am whole and complete in and of myself.
Andena Sananda Kumara:And from that perspective, can the world around me change? You can't get what you're seeking in any relationship until you become it. Like, you can't you can't witness anything outside of yourself until you realize that you are already it. Yes. Because, again, the world cannot meet you where you are not.
Troy Washington:And and I'm and I'm a add on to what Andona said when she said something will magically happen, but I'm a come back and throw your words at you real quick when you talked about I'm I'm just I just gotta throw it back because I wanna give everybody what we need to give them today. Right? And Yeah. About minimizing your power, minimizing the power that you've been given. And the reality of it is nothing magical happened.
Troy Washington:You changed it. You did control it.
Andena Sananda Kumara:That's exactly it. That's exactly it. Right?
JClay:So you have a question then.
Troy Washington:Go ahead.
JClay:Because I yeah. I know we got about 12 minutes left. But yeah. So, Loretta and I were talking earlier. We're talking about, we we kinda ended up getting on the conversation of relationships, and we're talking about communication.
JClay:Because I know one of the narratives is communication is key. Communication is key. And one of the things I I pointed out to Loretta is it's kinda limited in a way because as we found out, most masculine don't mask a lot of masculine energy doesn't know how to, you know, communicate and share. So the objectives are different. It's to say whatever needs to be said so that we don't have to communicate anymore, and we can be just be.
JClay:Whereas the the the feminine energy could be, you know, we need to get to the bottom or the root of this situation, and so you still bump heads. But with this new higher viewpoint of it, everyone's a mirror to us. This can be a collaborative thing, not a combative thing. What role would you say communication now plays in relationships from that mindset?
Troy Washington:I would jump in and say one thing, and I say this, bro. This goes back to the same thing as defining masculinity versus feminine energy to get, again, the definition. And when I think about communication, we only think about well, I ain't gonna say we only think, but majority think about communication is looking one way. Right? You know, talking or talking it out, hugging it hugging it out, it has to be something important action.
Troy Washington:And the one thing that I can tell you that I found in my marriage that, it wasn't out the communication was not always gonna be talking or physical. There have been plenty of times where me and her just gave each other a look, and we just cracked up. And there was a level of communication there or, clearing the air there that I couldn't even have gotten with words. And so, I think that just understanding that communication is not a one, you know, pot serves all type of situation and finding out what works for you is definitely idea.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. I love that. I
Andena Sananda Kumara:I I think it it comes down to a willingness to in communication to listen. Right? Not listening with a with an intent to berate or, you know, down to because I think a lot of men have have been a victim. I I don't wanna say the word victim. I I think a lot of men have been hurt by being blamed for certain things.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Like, they didn't they didn't live up to an expectation that was expected on the other side. So every time there's an opportunity to communicate, they they have this this mindset. Well, here it comes again. I'm about to get blamed, and it's all my fault and all this type of stuff. Right?
Andena Sananda Kumara:But you have to honor that it takes 2 people in a relationship. Both both both people plan plan their part. Right? So there is no blame. You know?
Andena Sananda Kumara:It just is what it is. So from a female perspective, I would say the thing that I had to learn was coming to a place where I could sit and listen, not with the intention of responding or pleading my case, you know, or or making my points or standing by you know, you know, make it make it clear why I got this issue. Right? Mhmm. But having a having a willingness to sit and really hear from, you know, both sides of us having the opportunity to hear, a willingness to hear so that we could come into listen just to plead your case or to to blame.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? Yeah. You know? Really.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. That's facts. That's facts. Okay. And and
Troy Washington:I say this
Loretta Sharingroup:too just
Troy Washington:to kinda piggyback on that. The biggest part of that communication was not communicating at all. Being able to sit and listen didn't have anything to do with anything that you said, and y'all just understanding each other was the biggest part of communication. It was it's just man, we always gotta impart our own process on people. I'm I'm with you.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Loretta. I'll be
Andena Sananda Kumara:Wait. But let me let me say this real quick. The the what I learned is the more that I was willing to listen, then the more he opened up. Because before, when we were talking, it was like pulling teeth, trying to get, you know, him to say anything. Right?
Andena Sananda Kumara:But then as you listen, then you create the safety where it's like, okay. Now he understands that it's safe for him to share because he won't be blamed. You know? Won't be ridiculed for sharing his perspective. His his perspective is accepted.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Even though I may not fully understand it, I accept that he has a perspective that's valid and worthy of being heard. Right?
Loretta Sharingroup:I love that. I love what Endona is saying, and I love it from as far as a woman expressing that for the men, you know, in a relationship that they will feel shut down and therefore, they're they don't talk. So that's significant, the point she made about that. And and also actively listening. We've all felt that when you're talking to somebody, but thinking about the next thing they're gonna say to you, they ain't halfway even listening because there's like, okay, I'm a I'm a I can't wait to rebook what they saying, you know.
Loretta Sharingroup:I know. You know, they don't ever but that's what the end on is talking about, listening, like, not even listening, trying to figure out what to say next, but just really allowing and absorbing what that person is communicating. What do you think, Jay? What you got to say?
JClay:Well, so so it sounds like, because because we we had a we're having conversation that we're communicating. We're talking about communication, but it's coming back to listening.
Andena Sananda Kumara:And it goes to show that there are
JClay:2 sides to And it it goes to show that there are 2 sides to things to complete any idea. Like, half of communication is listening. Half of listening is listening to communication. And and I think that's a that's kind of a segue to the masculine and feminine feminine, how they work together. Like, it's two sides of the giving and the receiving that we should be conscious of, and not trying to outdo any of the other.
JClay:Like, not like, I can listen better to you than nobody's speaking, or I can communicate better than you than nobody's listening. And it it just it just got my mind thinking about how how everything kind of works together in a beautiful maze or puzzle, so to speak.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Yeah. That's what the masculine feminine is. It's to ask 2 halves of a whole. Right? And they're intended to work in harmony.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Right? This is the give the give and take. It's the expansion and contraction of life that exemplifies itself in more than just relationships or in life. It it is it permeates every aspect of being. Right?
Troy Washington:Well, I'll say this, you know, I know we we getting close and we still got a little bit of time, but I wanna make sure I give y'all the the the flowers that y'all deserve. And Donna and Loretta, like, we talked about we're talking about the the beautiful mesh between 2 different energies that we both possess anyway, you know, that we got to have a balance within ourselves. But just to top that off, like, y'all being here to give y'all's point of view is everything to us, not only just to us, to everybody that I feel like is listening, and I think that y'all were a great balance to us. I know it's it's difficult for us to kinda take a step back and let, you know, somebody else lead the show, which we I tried to do, of course, because I talk a lot, but, I said that to say that I was grateful for everything that both of y'all had or y'all brought to the table, and the points that y'all are making, I think, are, you know, pertinent just for my life and for everybody listening. So I just wanna tell y'all, you know, I I appreciate you.
Troy Washington:I'm grateful for you. Y'all are needed. Both your masculine and your feminine energy because that balance that y'all brought today just to even balance us off was amazing. Dave?
JClay:Yeah. And I would say, if if each of you have any last words, we'll start with that donut. Feel free to say it. I'm a put your your website at the bottom for everybody to see.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Well, I think my my parting words are typically always the same, and that is have the courage to be you. Have the courage to be you. Discover what it is to be you. Sit get get yourself isolated. Get beyond the societal pressures, the parental pressures, and all that stuff.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Your your mom and dad, the all of that energy. You gotta separate yourself from that for a little while to discover what it is to be you, to get familiar with your own energy because as individuated expressions of the divine, we each carry a unique frequency. And our goal or our job being in this physical reality is to come into understanding of what that is, to hold it, to ground and anchor it into this physical plane, to be it, to allow yourself to walk in your authentic expression because it is that and that alone will which will spark the change in anybody else you meet. You can't change people by your words. Words don't teach.
Andena Sananda Kumara:You can't change people. And it's not you cannot do it by force. You have to walk in and allow it to be expressed and allow people that exist around you to be sparked, the the flame or the light that you carry. Allow yourself to discover what it is to be you. Give yourself time, space, and be easy on yourself as you discover what that is because it's not an easy task to whittle through the ego and its perception of what it think it needs to be and what it think it must be.
Andena Sananda Kumara:All of yourself to have the courage to be you and discover what that is. Yeah. Love it. Best.
Loretta Sharingroup:You're welcome. I just wanted to give you all your flowers back. A part of the reason, and I've told this to Jay, a part of the reason why a lot of the shows are based on the attack of the other gender is boredom, right? Nobody is really focusing on themselves, right? And so that's what I applaud you all on this show is that you are really, every week, you're talking about that internal growth.
Loretta Sharingroup:And just to highlight what Endona was saying, I encourage everyone, masculine, feminine, I encourage everyone to, allow the world to show them their hangups. Right? It's all about growing and learning and evolving and not seeing that other person as a bad person, they did something wrong, but to allow that to reflect back to you. That's one of the biggest mic drop moments I think and Donna shared today and if you do that, if you engage in that process, like she said, your world will change. Because we are not no one else is the enemy.
Loretta Sharingroup:Right. Right. But can I can I
JClay:say this
Andena Sananda Kumara:real quick? Yeah.
Troy Washington:Just just
JClay:have to
Andena Sananda Kumara:say this after
JClay:Loretta
Andena Sananda Kumara:said what she said, it's so beautiful. I just wanna say don't always look for the bad. Allow yourself to honor the good that you see reflected back at you. Allow yourself to give yourself accolades to celebrate yourself when you see something reflected back to you that exemplifies the goodness that exists in you. Don't always seek to pick out the bad things, the things that trigger you.
Andena Sananda Kumara:Allow yourself to honor the goodness that you hold because the world is reflecting all aspects of you back at you. So I'll allow yourself to honor all of it, not just those things that we perceive as negative or bad. Yeah.
JClay:And Troy, you wanna say something before I close this out?
Troy Washington:Yeah, man. Just, again, I'm I'm grateful for y'all. We're grateful for everybody that's listening, just understanding it. Without y'all, we wouldn't be here. We'd be doing something, but we definitely wouldn't be here, you know, and just remember that you're perfect.
Troy Washington:It's just that simple to me. And and if you if you can do the internal work that Loretta was talking about and and Donna highlighted, you got a fruitful and and enjoyous joyous life that's ahead of you. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And just just reiterating everything everybody said. Appreciate y'all. If you found this helpful, hit the share, like, button, subscribe, all that. Shout out to Jeff again, our our Patreon, and and click the Patreon link too if you wanna support perfect mode, help us continue to grow and share this good wisdom from within and and expand.
JClay:And and yeah. And just I appreciate all y'all. Remember, you're a perfect creation made by a perfect creator, so you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. Yeah. If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection?
JClay:Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. But there are no excuses, no with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real, so let's be perfect. Let's be perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.